#that one wont be out for a while though

[lostxmelody]

lol, just realized something

#not going to maintag this one #but i thought it was kind of funny #yeah its a pretty basic analogy but IDK still ironic #remembered this summary while thinking of chapter names for a different mikofuu ive been working on #that one wont be out for a while though #definitely completing life's reflection first #but ive been going back and forth with the two since ch.3 #its a proper au this time... but i wont give away too many details rn #its at 11k. i swear on my life i will not get it nearly as long #ok maybe 40k if things get bad #i could seriously talk about both fuuta and mikoto all damn day u guys have no idea how much i restrain myself in every post i make #i cut my a/n's and tags down by AT LEAST 60% right before posting them

[liquidstar]

sleepovers save money on hotel rooms while on missions 👍

#finn's ocs #finn's art #sorry i was super offline the past few days but i had some time to draw between stuff so. them :) #besides i might as well draw all them hanging out like this after drawing PJ designs. but unlike in those i gave polaris and saiph pants #let them at least be decent while hanging out LOL #i want to draw lots more misc oc stuff now that i have all the refs done #but somehow i have too many ideas and yet none at all at the same time! if you have suggestions lmk 😅 #anyway polaris is annoyed at saiph here because he wont stop moving his head even though the braiding was his idea lol #bella passed the fuck out shes one of those ppl who have a very set sleep schedule #wakes up at 6am falls asleep immediately at 9pm #lets all pray she doesnt wake up with something stupid drawn on her face tomorrow #mira is just having fun tho shes reading to everyone every cute :) saiph interrupts with commentary (causing further annoyance from polaris #al is mostly observing like hes just happy to be hanging out. also having al be the most in the shadows because of course #but he likes watching his friends interact. but also hey man his eyes are up there #anyway i tried my best w the colors here so hopefully it looks okay. i wanted something warm but also kinda dark to give off late night vib #i hope tumblr doesnt kill the quality tho! it looks kinda blurry rn but it might be ok when i hit post #if it fits well i might make it my new blog header too? maybee #^_^

[tinta--branca--art]

I love this man he is my worstie ❤️

#one piece #one piece fanart #donquixote doflamingo #op doflamingo #doffy #doflamingo #that covers it tag wise i think #this took a while !! mostly because i couldnt make up my mind on how to render it #this is kind of a hybrid painting method but honestly i like how it came out :'D #learning how to mess with tone curves and the like #i finished zou earlier today with my beloved tort so unfortunately i wont be seeing much of doffy from here on out #but he lives on in my heart !! and in my sketchbook lmao #i like that dressrosa is based on spain it gives me a lot of fun headcanons for this guy #though full disclosure i mostly wanted to draw a traje de luces this time #for whatever reason smh the embroidery sure was a task #i think that's all i have to say on this one for the time being wahoo !! thanku for gazing #tintabrancaart

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

"yes im so fine"

*researches whether i can get my hands on ipecac*

#tw ed #obligatory MASSIVE do not do this #straight up poison that can kill you from one (1) time #used to be used to induce vomiting #directly the cause of death of karen carpenter and countless others #i wont i swear i wont #but i still researched it bc i was curious #tbh there are easier ways of poisoing oneself than semi illegal drugs #also if yall remember the post about a poison i own: i did more reseach and while that amount would probably kill me w no medical #intervention; it would take just under three times as much to be absolutely certain of hitting the toxic dose (calculated quantity per kg #of the top end of a given range. so it could kill me but if i was gonna go out that way id want about three times as much to be sure.) #honestly surprised ive never heard of any deaths from it. the most likely way to survive would be to throw it up i think #(or present to hospital and take charcoal or smth) #honestly though. my research says loss of consciousness and required intubation within half an hour in case studies #hence if you werent in reach of medical attention youd probably collapse an die #and i am very deliberately NOT mentioning what it is bc of how toxic it is #ive thought of combining it and another method to be absolutely sure but eh #honestly if it DIDNT work it sounds straight up embarrassing to admit to people tho thats one of the things stopping me #but literally a dose in a child requiring intubation and kid ended up in a coma recovered w no ill effects. #thats the dream yk. try and succeed and youre free; try and fail and you see no ill effects. #but yeah i wouldnt try w only the amount i have. #so im safe #....rereading the above. okay i might be a little mentally ill lol #but i am safe and absolutely nobody call the cops on me. #im fine. #tw suicide #puddleglum hours #nobody worry abt me ok. im fine. #just thinking silly lil thoughts like usual :) #EDIT: just occurred to me that using this poison could make it not look like a suicide

[sieglinde-freud]

started another file and got two really terrible pairs of siblings. arent they pretty :)

BONUS I MARRIED ONE OF EM I LOVE U FOREVER PINKNIGO 🫶🩷

#ann plays awakening #the great thing about the gay hack is that if i make most of them siblings #it cuts my grinding in half!! #anyways i absolutely started a new file to marry pink inigo like i wont even bother hiding that #but i figured while im here i might as while try out some other pairings #i have the rest of them written down i just need to. yk. grind em out #another time though #in case you havent noticed by now awakening is really just my fun family simulator #its fun for me #something i didnt expect though was that cordelia!owain looks REALLY good #i didnt expect that but his hair + his red accents??? HELLO?? #and ik u can make him ginger in the base game but no one really matches cordelia red yk #sully could work actually but that’s still not a vanilla game thing #also cordelia lets him have full access to the VVW combo which is excellent #severa unfortunately misses out on wrath but thats alright #she’s really pretty with lissa’s hair. maybe she got the pigtails from mom

[todayisafridaynight]

Why not combine them? You could post about MineDai eating pasta! Does Mine bulk with pasta? Does Daigo have a favorite pasta dish? Do they cook it together for a date night? Does Daigo even know how to boil water?? (Genuinely if you have any interest in posting about this please do, would read)

mine could, in fact, be the one who makes daigo pasta with a lil olive oil and salt and parmesan youre right ......

#snap chats #in MY world anyway ...... #posts that inspired me to stop playing fps games to eat pasta instead <- im playing again later with my brother #bulking with pasta tho ..... im built like a cool stick you find in the forest but i love having pasta after a midday run ... #maybe not as a Meal meal but a quick meal just to have something afterwards yk #though would that not be lunch .... pasta lunch ... not a terrible meal for lunch actually... #idk i dont really eat lunch. unless that IS lunch.... idk dont ask me about the specific dietary habits of characters i dont eat #i dont imagine daigo has a favorite pasta dish- not that he doesnt like pasta its just not something he has strong opinions on #spaghetti's always a safe choice isnt it .... omg jollibees spaghetti ... i dont think he's had any but i just want JB spaghetti now ... #im full on pasta actually my stomach hurt <- just ate / contradicting 'i dont eat' statement #i cant imagine daigo and mine cooking together. maybe its because the thought of someone cooking with me makes me want to kill them #like im literally trying to cook here get out of the WAY. mine would be more nice of course he'd just have daigo wait if he was cooking #i should draw something with that .. i see it clearly. .. one day. #i just think itd be nice if daigo Wnated to help and insisted on it but mine's Deadass this time like. Go Away. Respectfully. #daigo'd prob joke about helping but then he gotta get hit with the Im Serious tone and now he's laughing while he walks away #like FIIIINNNEE WHATEVER guess he wont get the chairmans help <- the kitchen will not be burned down now #thats hyperbolic. moving on #youre right anon with the power of my mind i can make anything about my day related to minedai #i will be abusing this power indefinitely

[arsenicflame]

modern au where ed + jack have spent the last several decades buying izzy the absolute DUMBEST shirts for every occasion- its a competition between them at this point- whoever gets izzy the shirt that makes him groan louder wins. izzy complains about this ridiculous tradition but he secretly loves it, has kept every single shirt, and often even sleeps in them (he will kill anyone who ever finds out)

#i got an ad for one of those super specific shirts and it made me think of this #im just shitposting at this point but its real funny to me #ed tend to favour ultra specific shirts these days while jack tries to find ones with completely absurd or dirty things on them #they know izzy has kept them all (tucked at the back of his closet) because they literally wont let him throw them away but they have no #idea he actually wears them #one of them is gonna find out one day and its gonna be a whole Thing #(im not a writer though so just imagine that scenario for yourself) #nyxtalks #ofmd #izzy hands #Israel hands #calico jack #jack rackham #edward teach #jackedhands #i left it vague but my ideal end to this is some kind of relationship kfhejn #uh. i actually have a couple images so i might rb + add to this in a sec. tags will be included. u know the drill

[midnightclover]

i really should make that "mutual map" one of these days

#i just need to find the best way to make one #of course a simple drawing would work for a while... but it wont suffice #it'd become much too bloated and complex in the long run. i'd have to make new versions on multiple occasions #thats why i'm thinking twine. maybe there's something better out there though? #my actual posts lol #(yet again the ''lol'' feels dissonant. i really should expect these things by now)

[niinnyu]

Mmmm that fun moment when you're in a comic drawing mood but have no good ideas :/

#ive already sketched out a little wha one #that wont take time to clean up anyway #wanna draw something jjk #I've not drawn a comic in a while #even though its my comics that make up for my mid artstyle #imo #hmmmm #thinking thinking #i do actually have a list w #just nothing appealing rn #anyway #no nickel for niinnyu's thoughts

[kath-artic]

.

was in such a crazy bad panic last night like on the verge of puking waking up in a cold sweat every 10 seconds for multiple reasons but one of the big ones was i dreamt that all the horrible things my friend had said to me--all the things i pretty easily handwaved because i knew they were all said with the intention to hurt me rather than with the intention of being truthful--were said by him instead and THAT made me start to question if they were true. because he would have no reason to bring me down in those ways. and i woke up crying at the thought i may never be important to anyone in the way i want to be and was additionally upset that any part of my mind would use his likeness to self sabotage. like it feels so mean to imagine someone who has been nothing but kind as anything but that. and admittedly he was kinda distant this weekend (because allergies were kicking his ass and he just was not running on much physical or mental energy) and i was sitting there mentally doing damage control while my body reacted as if i was continuing to spiral. it just felt so stupid sitting there thinking "none of this is real and also even if him being distant this weekend DID mean something it's not like i wouldn't be mostly fine lol" while trembling uncontrollably. anyway this morning he was so sweet to me (esp after i mentioned i couldn't sleep bc my nerves were going crazy over everything with my friend) and when he dropped me off for the train he hugged me so tight and kissed me and said he was sorry he'd been so distant (i didn't mention my dream to him and i also wasn't actually bothered by him being distant in any real way so i didnt mention it either, he did this of his own accord) and looked like he might cry and idk man it just gripped my heart in such a way. i thanked him for always being so sweet to me and theres no way he can know just how much i mean that. i hate that any part of me is suspicious of his kindness and i resent the fact that these recent experiences are causing a kneejerk reaction of distrust that i cannot physically quell. at my core i try to always be trusting of other people's intentions and it sickens me that this is impacting my ability to be that way.

#like ive gotten quite good at doing mental damage control 90% of the time #theres still that 10% where the dam breaks because i need things to change desperately in that moment #but most of the time im good at it #the physical reactions though? havent figured out how to control those #like even 8 years later i still an as tense as a steel cable whenever i have sex with someone for the first time #because of what my ex did. and mentally i wont even be remotely nervous or stressed #but last night was just so crazy #it felt like i had a fucking fever #and one voice in my head was bouncing off the walls neurotic while the other was just saying 'who caaaaaares'

[mantisgodsdomain]

"oh, yeah," we think, "we could probably cross this over into Li nked Uni verse if we actually draw out the canon for long enough, smacking different versions of the same character into each other is always fun especially when it has the potential for massive cultural differences and shit like running into things where the thing that has been forgotten has significance beyond the things that are remembered. Hey, we should probably check the comic in order to comply with the six-month rule, we don't think we ever finished-"

We return from the reference images. We have remembered why we didn't finish looking into the base comic.

#we speak #negative chatter #moving one level of fandomization away from og LU to merely use them as inspiration for bootleg LU with more base game inspiration #we forgot why we had the author blocked. we remember now #we probably wont elaborate further on this because we keep a firm policy of not publically shit talking folk at random #we just kinda got Unexpectedly Sandblasted by them being weird abt furries&otherkin in a random twi light reference post #we are censoring this so it does not go into their tag btw! no one likes random shit talk and this is just us being vaguely pissy #the wording is vague enough that they feel like theyre like. they dont mean to imply they DISLIKE this group #they just find them strange and offputting and they strongly dislike that they project anything onto A Character #as we do not control their life and theres nothing we can do to force them to Not be uncomfortable or act Strange towards a group #all we can really do is like. scrunge up at an attitude we find it VERY difficult to mesh with and go our separate ways #the multitude of takes on these characters and the way that their fandom is so creative about them and produces so many different Ideas #is very fun! and we heavily enjoy reading it sometimes! however we cannot enjoy the base comic #because though we know that the author likely didnt intend it to come off like that and we know accusations of hate would be FAR too strong #we cannot shake the feeling that we are the sort of thing that they would look upon as a deeply offputting aberration #and they merely avoid voicing that out of a mix of manners and a wish to not get into discourse while hundreds of people are watching #so it is best to keep our distance where we don't have to be uncomfortable at the subtle bias that will pervade through all art #and they dont have to get grated against in ways that may negatively impact things from us having little shame in our existence #which is to say theres like a solid chance that the bias is not malicious and is in fact just like. lingering cultural bias type shit #however we arent gonna deal with that and us being a huge obnoxious weirdo might be liable to push them against us via abrasion #being exposed to smth more often can very easily actively push you against that thing by virtue of dislike of the people who like it #and though our individual action may not mean much in the scheme of things it will do less harm to both of us if we back the hell off #give that shit some time to soak without being prodded at too hard and hopefully someone else will be able to open the conversation better #because with bias especially you CANNOT break it down with one or two discussions #and you very much have to have the person with the bias willing to step back and examine that pattern of bias and unravel it #because if you go up at people like “this is WRONG and heres why” theyre far more likely to get defensive and feel attacked #and then double down because they feel attacked and don't want to give in to people who have been Nothing But Rude To Them #its a pattern of thought that can be a real bitch to deal with and we really arent capable of the subtle approach it requires to break thro #anyways. where were we. oh yeah we forgot why we blocked someone and now we're making a tumblr post about it

[atsu-i]

.

#can I just release my anger and frustrations out? lol #sooooo an argument happened bet me and my twin #am gonna fucking tell my side okay? #today i got another appointment with an ent #and sooooo I did what i can do with chores before I leave #and okay there was supposed to be someone whose coming here today to do laundry and she is late #and my twin asked me to call someone who knows the one who did the laundry and I DID #i was getting ready and all of a sudden my twin cursed me out and got angry with me #all of a sudden #I was so confused #then since i didnt know what she was mad about i just kept quiet and then she asked me what's the number of that someone who knows the #laundry girl..she said that to me in an angry tone..i told her I already called and she coulve asked me normally about it #but she is mad and suddenly called me paranoid and all that shit? and am like where is this coming from? #she thought that the laundry girl wont make it and since am leaving for quite some time she will be the one who will do laundry #and I told her if that's whats making you mad you dont have to do it..call mom and tell her if the laundry person isny gonna come she will #find smone else and she said no if I wont do it no one will and am like ?????? but i was so frustrated atp i was yelling back madly lol #and now i realized that maybe she was mad at me coz she is left with some household chores since am gone for a while? coz of my appointment #but she still mad at me though and I also am and I dont think i can ever ever talk to her again #like seriously i thought it was just the phone call but she has all other issues with me and i dont understanf #i feel so bad and am mad and idk am just crying rn #idk if am the one in the wrong #like seriously #this is so long but idk where to dump this shit

[townofcrosshollow]

Idk man if you're constantly talking about your crushing loneliness and feelings of being ostracised and left out when you ostensibly have a bunch of friends around you then maybe the feelings of loneliness aren't the problem there

#i would always feel really empty and distant and 'act out' after our hangouts #and i always framed it as like 'i get the high when i'm around people and then i crash afterwards' #and didn't really consider that maybe sitting in a vc for 4 hours feeling left out while other people have fun is just soul sucking #it was always framed as my behaviour that was the problem. 'you did this and you did that.' so i just kinda internalized that #if i felt like shit it must be my fault. everybody knows i'm the one who causes problems so i'm just causing more problems #if i say that something made me uncomfortable and the response is 'i wont make accomodations and how dare you even ask' it must be my fault #idk. we filled out consent forms in the game i'm really not excited to play and i was reminded that nobody ever asked my consebt #and when i tried to advocate for myself and voice that i wasn't consenting it was treated like i was causing problems by trying to say that #and i saw that as a reasonable reaction at the time cause i had been so deeply convinced that i was broken and horrible #that if i was trying to revoke my consent or even just negotiate it then i was ruining everything for everybody else #that if i was uncomfortable with what was going on i needed to just shut up and live with it #i wish i had realized that and dropped out months ago. maybe that could have preserved some semblance of my relationships with those people #far too late for that now. i'm trying to accept that #and all that effort was wasted anyway #i tried to say once that i was putting in a massive amount of effort and i felt like nobody was recognizing that fact #and i still kind of feel that way #i put hours of mental energy into trying to be enough for people who kept demanding more from me and kept giving me less in return #did that do me any good or did it just cause me 3 months of grief and an empty bank account from therapy? #the problem is that i still wish things had turned out better even though i know i had no control over that #if i had kept advocating for myself it just would have been over far faster. i guess that might have spared me a bit of money #if i tried to talk about the problems it would have just been dismissed with some quick quippy therapy phrase amounting to 'not my fault' #we're already living in the universe where i put all my effort into changing in the ways i was told to change and look how well that went #idk. the attitude was never 'let's fix the problems.' it was always 'you need to fix it.' and then when i did it was #'now there's a new problem. fix that one too. and this one. and that one.' #and to do all that work for somebody and then be told they thought you never even cared about them. man it just stings #idk. it's in the past now. but i can't build new relationships. i'm trying and it's impossible #i try meeting new people and they all suck. i try strengthening relationships with old people and they all get too busy or leave. #the only reason i post these things on tumblr is cause i don't have anybody else to talk to about it #the only person i could talk to has their own shit going on. there really just isn't anybody else #personal

[orcelito]

Tally's just a liiiiittle bit fed up with my clinginess today

Can't help it tho. She's my baby.

#speculation nation #and i spent an hour in a panic spiral over her and then 5 more hours compartmentalizing and Not Thinking About It #she's fine though. just got a little sick this morning but she seems to be feeling better. #probably just ate smth she wasnt supposed to. it happens. #but ykno. i hesitate to throw around the word 'trauma' willy-nilly. considering it has a lot of weight to it. #but i really do think ive got some trauma due to the cat deaths. #how else would i explain me having a whole panic spiral over tally just throwing up? #it almost makes me wonder whether i should bother with more cats after them. but i know i couldnt live without them. #ive spent all but 3 years of my entire life living with cats. i cant live without them. #but after some untimely ends i am just... so fucking afraid. #tally's about 3 years old now. she should have plenty of life left to live. #but cassy wasnt even 2 years old. and look how that turned out. #i got young cats purposefully bc i didnt want to have to say goodbye to them for a While. and then i had to anyways. #and im always so fucking anxious that im going to have to again. constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop #so when Anything happens i end up a total mess no matter how minor it is... #im sick of it. im so sick of the uncertainty. sick of being scared ill wake up one day to another cat dying. #and theres not really any way to make it better. days and weeks and months and hopefully years #just spent waiting for the other shoe to drop. #i just hope it wont come for a while still. so i can have at least a few years of peace. #animal death ment/ #negative/ #sorry for the vent etc etc im just. i wish i could bundle them up and keep them in my life forever. #but it doesnt work that way unfortunately. lifetime disparity really is so awful.

[todayisafridaynight]

arasawa 'but are they You Know' can be so funny check this out. literally any scenario involving ichiban being nosy

#snap chats #in the funniest and most ironic way i can say it its like when someones kids really wants their parent to be happy for once #yk what i mean there's like two ways a kid meeting a stepparent can go Abject Horror and Joy #i dont have to say who the first one is. i will though masato wants to scream Why Is Everyone But Me Happy #no listen if you've been reading the essays being posted here the past week i don think ichiban hates jo #and on TOP of that i think ichi thinks jo would be happy if he and arakawa could have One Nice Night and ergo he wont be so MEAN #just no worrying about the clan ichi and everyone else has it covered you can totally rely on them <- no you cant #its like when your parents go on vacation and you comedically wreck the house by accident while theyre gone #but then you SOMEHOW get it all fixed up right before they get home. cat in the hat kind of bullshit #i just think they should have their brooklyn 99 moment. you know the one #'RESPECTFULLY captain you and the boss need alone time' #jo doesnt even get what hes trying to say until he looks at mitsu who looks about ready to jump out the window yk #like 'aniki PLEAAASE shut the fuck up you're gonna get us hit' #and its BECAUSE they arent together Like That that its especially like Put A Cork In It You're Insane #in the alternate timeline/scenario where jo Does like arakawa like that i think ichi should be annoying about it too #listen if arakawa is the only thing that prevents them from maiming each other then it'll be fine #ichiban please be the worst wingman imaginable while jo tells you to leave him alone #hes going to bottle his emotions and store it in his chest and it'll just sit and ferment there until he dies #like are we seeing the potential here. its awful i cant open any new canvases or word docs EW #maybe if i finished my fuckin SHIT..

[lunarflare64]

Dad has said talking to us is like walking on eggshells, but honestly the reverse is true too, when he steps on our toes we have to find a balance between not flying off the handle and actually making our anger clear, because anything less is basically no reaction in his mind so he doesn't even realise that something went wrong. We also have to make our point clear and stand our ground, something we're not good at when it comes to him. Fights between undiagnosed autistic parents and their early diagnosed more socially developed autistic adult kids are fucking rough.

#vent post #not saying we're perfectly socially developed - there are a lot of things we arent good at or dont care to be good at #but when we look at the lessons hes learning theyre all lessons we learned a while ago #and its infuriating to be his learning tool #we've been a conversational minefield for him for a long time but hes only recently reached a place where he could learn from it #dont know if he WILL learn from it but for the first time ever we've finished explaining what exactly he did to upset us #he used to bulldoze over every explanation and make it about himself #this argument happening over text definitely for sure helped #stops both of our stubborn asses from flaring up at the sight of a perceived attack and escalating the situation #one time a fight got so bad that after we left the room to try and end the argument he followed us and got in our face #and we leaned back on the couch and kicked him in the stomach with both legs #we wont claim that we were the 'right' one in that argument - we dont even remember what it was about #but it shows how far a fight between us can go even when we want out of it #though we were only like 16 or 17 during that fight so we're hoping that we've gotten better at shutting down fights over the last 6/7 years #if it ever got that bad again