#the ‘you can do no wrong (in my eyes)’ is both Kim @ Harry and Harry @ Kim | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

notnctu · 3 years

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push & pull | kim doyoung

❀ slytherin!doyoung x hufflepuff!femreader ❀ genre - SLOW BURN, smut, fluff, a bit of humor (idk not rlly) ❀ details - hogwarts!au, fwb to lovers?, y/n is a player lol, jealous doyoung, mutual pining, doyoung is a lil mean ❀ word count - 9.7k ❀ warnings - explicit language, possessiveness (a concept of marking), dom!doyoung, angry sex?, slight dirty talk, penetration, fingering, praise kink ❀ synopsis - in which a prideful slytherin and an oblivious hufflepuff play a clueless emotion game of tug of war.

❝I thought Hufflepuffs are to be loyal, so why do you sleep with other men?❞

❝People say Slytherins are ambitious, so why didn’t you pursue me?❞ ❀ a/n - i changed the plot a little bit as i was writing lol but hopefully it still fits everything! i said this in the teaser, but i want to preface and say that the magic/marking is not canon to harry potter, and that the only thing im using are the sectional houses/subjects. besides that, everything is made up LMAO also pls b lenient with me, i read hogwarts!au but writing it is very out of my comfort zone and am very bad at creating anything magical

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alluringjae · 3 years

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all i do is wait - kdy

All I Do Is Wait | So Close

⤑ summary: one day, kim doyoung was alive. the next, he wasn’t. he left you and the world too soon, but he made a promise: to look out and wait for you until the very end.

⤑ pairing: doyoung x female reader

⤑ word count: 22.7k

⤑ genre: angst (so much longing), major slow burn, fluff (if you squint really well), slight unprotected smut (not my forté) | ghost!doyoung, hotel del luna!au, slight college!au, 40s to 90s!au (loads of flashbacks)

⤑ warnings: death, grief, explicit language, sexism (screw the patriarchy omfg), mentions and scenes of alcohol, drinking, smoking, war, unplanned pregnancy, childbirth, and abortion, ghost possession of humans (in like one scene only tbh)

⤑ long author’s note: minors, beware of the warnings! i highly recommend you watch the kdrama beforehand so you would understand the universe, even if majority of the characters are from my imagination. i also did some prior historical research. though there are inaccuracies, this story is just fiction. importantly, i don’t own the hotel del luna series; they serve as the main inspiration but with some of my twists. i’m also bit rough with writing lately, so there’s also room for improvement. overall, prepare your heart.

i cried so much in the process.

italicized texts symbolize conversations in a dream call. *wink* *wink*

⤑ gif above not mine, ctto! leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

After all decades of waiting, it’s finally time.

As a soul still wandering in the living world, Doyoung’s options were limited. To peacefully go ahead into the afterlife or wait for his lover by working in the hotel for ghosts until she passed.

He’d chosen the latter, the betrayal he felt from the deities to have gone so soon.

And leave you behind.

But first, let’s take a trip down Doyoung’s journey; life, death, and after it.

1948

Kim Doyoung came from a well-off family. He was a university student, taking up journalism as a pre-law course. He wanted to right the wrongs and let justice prevail. Blessed by his privilege, he wanted to be of service to others who cannot afford it.

Both of you crossed paths at a university in Busan as seatmates. Right after the South Korean constitution granted women’s rights to education, immediately you aimed high and applied for the top universities in the city. After being homeschooled and self-studying under the books, the opportunity to go to an actual school was like a dream come true especially when you received acceptance letters from all of them.

Your first impression of him was that he was moody and quite snobby. When you politely asked him once if you can take a peek at his notes because you lost track of the professor’s lecture, he refused with an annoyed glare.

“You should try harder then.” You nodded in gratitude anyways, taking those words to encourage you. Though it still stung.

When classes that day concluded, you were so ready to return to the women’s dorm and take a breather from men. Since you were far from your village, maybe you would give a call to your father, your mentor all your life to seek his guidance on your professors’ lessons. Once you found your bike and placing your books on the basket in front, a light tap on your shoulder caught you off-guard and almost made you topple over.

“Oh, sh-”

“Oh my, I’m sorry for scaring you like that.”

When you directed your body to the source, it was none other than Kim Doyoung. He removed his blazer from class, resting it on his arm. He wore these suspenders and leather loafers, sporting the rich, preppy boy look. His eyes looked softer, apologetic by the way he gave a slight pout.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. It was rude of me to shun you like that.”

Unfortunately, it was rare to find young men like him to own up to their mistakes When you’re the only woman in that class, the majority of the boys are either snickering with judgment at your presence.

“Women are only meant to stay at home.”

“She’s weak. She won’t last here with the deep, legal terminologies the professors use.” Those insults aren’t new to you.

Doyoung seemed like a plot twist in the social narrative. You were surprised, to say the least, yet relieved.

“Oh, it’s okay. Considering I interrupted you from listening to the professor, I could’ve waited after class or as you said, study harder.” You accepted.

Doyoung still felt awful for his attitude, fiddling his briefcase. He struggled to express himself through words, understanding why many had this impression of him being cold. If he were to be honest, his actual initial impression of you was that you were hardworking and resilient, setting a new example of the modern woman. He thought that being too soft on you in class may look degrading, thus his statement from the class was just him treating you the same way as other boys who don’t study hard enough. Unfortunately, it backfired completely.

As a man who grew up with the belief to always pay respect to everyone without discrimination, he had to make it up to you somehow.

“It’s still wrong of me to say that to you, (Y/N). So-” He trailed on, opening his case to bring out one of his notebooks. Without hesitating, he handed it to you. “I took as many notes from the lecture on fallacies here. If there’s any way I can help you in the future, I’m more than willing to help you.”

This newfound kindness from a boy in this patriarchal university may be the silver lining in your current stay. You weren’t too sure if you would get a chance like this in the coming years, so you gladly took it. Noticing the engraved “K.DY” on the lower right side of it, which were his initials, it’s easy to identify that he was rich. But his attitude was different than the others.

Placing it carefully in the front basket, you steadied your body to the handles and pedals of the bike. “Thank you for this, Doyoung. I will return it to you as soon as possible.”

Knowing he was of help to you, he flashed a gummy smile. “No problem, (Y/N). If you want, we can review it before class too just in case the professor gives another surprise quiz.”

You let out a laugh, being reminded of your horrified face on a previous surprise quiz in the past. “Oh god, I flunked that quiz! Damn him.”

Ever since that conversation, it’s where your friendship started.

Going to university became more enjoyable and less daunting, having Doyoung defend you from other boys (even if you’ve told him so many times that you can handle it). After you found out that Doyoung’s status was more elite than you assumed, a lot of boys wouldn’t want to try and test him since their family lines would be at risk. You had a better focus on your academics, and if it weren’t for you, other girls attending university with you would’ve never thought women students would befriend the men. You were the shift in the narrative.

As lucky as you are to have a female support system in the patriarchal university, you found yourself always hanging out with Doyoung. He was filled with so much compassion in his heart and there were beliefs that you both surprisingly shared in your conservative society, deepening your bond. One of them was the sexist view of women as low-status people. He told you one time that thinking that way is like thinking his loving mother is undeserving of things in life. It’s an unacceptable concept, he added. You even met his mother at some point, and she’s a sweetheart.

Another was having the frustration towards those who shame on women who want to study and learn rather than to submit to the power of men so early in their lives.

“I’m so sick of people telling me to stop studying and settle down with some random boy. There’s just so much to learn out here!” You complained. It was one hot weekend that time, and you were both relaxing under the shade of a big tree by a flowing river. That spot is hidden, thus claiming it as your spot. Doyoung leaned by the tree reading while you rested on his lap. At this point, you’ve grown very comfortable with him. Doyoung sighed, putting his book to discuss his thoughts.

“Agreed. You seriously deserve so much better, (Y/N). People today just don’t get it.”

Huffing away that stress, your head tilted to get a better view of Doyoung.

“Doyoung, do you think things will get better for women in the future?” He admired your hopefulness in times of trouble. Stroking your hair to soothe you, he gave a positive reply.

“If we keep fighting for it, then we’ll progress. So let’s not give up, okay?” Your heart couldn’t help but leap.

As he looked at you with blooming flowers from the tree in the background, it was a matter of time where your initial feelings for him diverted into something more. The concept of butterflies in your stomach was only introduced to Doyoung in novels, but he wondered if it’s the exact feeling he was getting from you. From your intelligence to your sharp tongue to fight back the rude boys, the list goes on all the traits that he liked about you.

Weeks later, the questionable status of your friendship changed after he unexpectedly kissed you for the first time while stargazing at your special spot. It caught you off guard at first as your lips froze, him pulling away immediately. He rubbed the nape of his neck out of embarrassment, struggling to maintain eye contact with you.

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I screwed up everything, didn’t I?”

As much as the heat in your cheeks increased, you couldn’t deny that you liked it. You’re bold enough to do it again.

“Nope,” you shook your head at him. “Kiss me again, Doyoung.”

Like a movie, the first snow of the season drizzled down on the two of you.

Feeling braver, he leaned forward again to meet your lips again. You may not be experienced physically since it was your first, but that’s what all those romance novels you’ve browsed through are for. Forget the fireworks, people would compare the ideal kiss. It was more like everything paused so this moment can run on its momentum. Lips still locked, Doyoung gripped your waist so you can sit on his lap. As the friction intensified, his lungs needed to breathe for a second. Pulling away slowly, it was an opportunity to take a good look at you. Flustered, messy hair, swollen lips, he would’ve never known that the feelings were mutual.

“First kiss under the first snow? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

1950

Dating Doyoung gave you the best two years of your life. He’d bike with you to your spot, recommend you new books to read, cook for you when you’re too lazy to at the dorm, and take you around the city he was ever so familiar with.

“Oh c’mon, let’s try this out!”

You dragged his arm to this new contraption that can take your photos in a flash. This was at an annual city fair, your first time to attend one. Because your small village couldn’t cater to these kinds of events, you beamed with excitement with all the amusement outlets such as rides, games and more. All Doyoung wanted was to eat and play few games, then return. He wasn’t much for photos, but because it was your first, he decided to go for it. Two people couldn’t fit the cushion, so you settled on his lap. One arm wrapped behind his neck, you inserted a few coins to activate the machine.

“So we have a few seconds before it starts, so you better smile, okay?” He ordered you based on the instructions of the machine.

The first shot was matching grins, the second showed your bright smiles, the third let your creativity wild with silly expressions, and the last was him pecking your cheek unexpectedly. The authentic surprise was captured.

“Let’s take another one so you can have a copy.” You insisted, searching through the small pockets of your purse for more coins.

“(Y/N), it’s okay. I don’t want-” He was cut off by the machine activating again as your coins entered inside.

“Too late, smile!” The first shot almost caught Doyoung in a frenzy, but he pulled it off with an open smile. The second expressed your laughter from your slyness, him sporting crinkled eyes when you let your tongue out and placed your hands near the temples of your head to mock him. To sort out your playfulness, Doyoung surprised you by grabbing your wrists to place them back on his shoulders. Without a breath, one free hand tugged you closer and his lips shut you up. You deepened your kiss by leaning forward and fisting the hems of his buttoned-up top. Kissing back was natural, not caring where you were and if the camera snapped your moment of intimacy. Doyoung always liked taming you with his kisses. You didn’t mind making out for a bit in the booth if it weren’t for the loud knocking from the side put a stop to your risqué antics.

“Yah! Take your making out session someplace, other people are waiting outside!”

The both of you could care less, laughing mid-kissing at the disturbance you’ve caused. It’s a thing when you’re young and in love, perhaps. Eventually, innocent kisses ignited an invitation to his bed.

“I’ve never done this before, but I want to do it with you.” You gave your full consent, laying on his soft bed in your undergarments. His entire family went on vacation, so you took advantage of it.

The way he crawled on top of you, his slender hands spreading your legs wide open like another novel waiting to be unraveled. Erotica was a genre you never explored, but Doyoung finds it as his guilty pleasure. Who would’ve known that the most prestigious, gentleman-like man of the university found amusement in sex? His lingering touches intoxicated your entirety, allowing him access. His tongue did you wonders, releasing these sensations you’ve never known was possible. Tugging on his hair as he passionately devoured your core for the first time, this knot in your core unwound and your vision went white for a split second. This rush of pleasure and exhaustion filled your veins, yet you craved more.

That night, giving each other your virginities, marked the first time you declared your love for each other.

Though there are times when dating wasn’t easy either, having prying eyes around you with judgment and the unavoidable stress from university, you’d sort things out in the end. After all, it’s in fights and arguments where you learn more about each other and grow from it.

If someone asked you to settle down already, Doyoung is the first candidate for your hand. You’ve sent letters to your parents talking about him and met his family.

“You’re the only girl who softens him up in this society of uptight men.” His mother whispered when you helped her wash the dishes after dinner.

As much light he brought to your life those two years being together, it turned into the worst and something questionable when the Korean war began.

You vividly remember the day Doyoung admitted to you his enlistment in the South Korean army. It was mandatory for men his age to serve. His dream to pursue law was to be put on hold, especially when schools were closing down. Though he’d try to confide with himself that serving in this war is another way to help his country, his nationalism outweighed his fear of death. Just as long as it brings them closer to a better tomorrow, he was willing.

Unfortunately for you, you were terrified shitless because again, it’s a war. If your childhood wasn’t enough to recall all those painful emotions from the past world war, you didn’t know what would. Being able to survive is a miracle, so there was no way you would let Doyoung go. The ignorance you gave towards him to protect your heart, moving to your aunt and uncle’s home in the same city after the university suspended classes since going back to the village was a big struggle.

So many villages have been bombed already, increasing your anxiety. All you hoped now was to be reunited with your family safely. It’s a good thing though they already left as soon as they could and are on their way to the city. One normal day while you were teaching your younger cousins how to read, there was a knock on the front door. Since your aunt was busy cooking dinner, you took charge to open it in hopes you’ll find your family on the other side.

However, it was none other than that someone you still couldn’t face just yet. He wore the familiar dark green uniform with black combat boots, his fluffy hair fully shaved even it’s covered by his hat. By the dirt on his face, he must’ve trained earlier that day. With a heavy backpack behind him, he’s on his way somewhere but you didn’t know where. You closed the door behind you so you can speak to him privately.

“What are you doing here, Doyoung? How did you find me?”

“I knew you didn’t want to talk for a while, so I gave you space. But today, I found out that I’m going to be stationed in Seoul tomorrow.”

Seoul was where most of the war was happening. Your heart was shattered.

“So I went to your dorm, but your roommate told me you moved out and gave me this address here.” He answered honestly with this new burden to top it off, not having the courage to look you in the eyes to avoid crying. “I needed to see you, (Y/N).”

“Doyoung,” within those times of separation, you re-evaluated if running away from him was the right choice. Even if he tried to convince you of the good things about being in the army, everything always comes at a price. War meant his life was uncertain daily. You just wanted him to yourself, to stay by your side, to help out in the war in other ways, but it would be selfish to stop him from his goals. So you gently embraced him, making him drop his bag to the side. With extreme fear comes your soft whimpers against his chest. Rather than running away so fast, you should’ve mustered all those remaining bits of courage to spend it with him. He must be feeling terrified too.

“I’m just scared for you. War doesn’t guarantee anything. Us surviving world war two is still miraculous.” Doyoung winced at your truthful words as he returned that embrace. There go his tears that he shed almost every night since he told you about his enlistment.

“I had no choice, (Y/N). My family and I would be in big trouble if I didn’t follow orders.”

“I know. I’m sorry I ran away, Doyoung.” You continued to sob as you feel him stroke your hair from behind. He knew well that it was one way to calm you down.

“If only we didn’t live in harsh times like this.” He sighed, longing for the same thing. He cursed whoever decided to make him exist during a painful time. He would trade anything for a more peaceful life.

“Stay here for the night, please.” You pleaded, not wanting to waste any more time.

Your relatives were aware of your relationship, allowing such a request. They trusted you enough to sleep in the same room, knowing all too well the struggles of being love during times like this.

Neither of you held back from the tension that crept into the room. This time, you led him through the first kiss while his body laid flat on the cushion bed. On top, straddling him fully. Leaving him soft kisses on his neck while teasingly unbuttoning his pajama shirt, your fervent lips trailed from his neck, lowering to his sculpted abdomen, until you reached the waistband of his pajama pants.

Only in books did you learn about how to please men, so this may be the only time you can test it out. Doyoung stiffened on your soft kisses on his hard-clothed member, glancing him seductively back and forth when you stuck out your tongue.

“Please,” He begged, tugging on your hair. “Touch me.”

Your lips wrapped around his tip before gently going lower to your limit, and slowly sucked on it back and forth. Whenever you’d want to catch a breathe, you’d lick the tip teasingly. Doyoung groaned, threading his fingers along with your hair. He’s so used to be a giver that receiving these sensations by you beats his hand. It was heavenly, yet so vulgar. The way you swallowed his cum rather than spitting it out even if the taste wasn’t favorable, you were too much in a daze to process how sudden he switched positions. While you sprawled devilishly under him, your fingers looping on his dog tag necklace to bring him lower for a kiss while feeling two of his fingers go under your panties to teasingly play with your slick.

“Don’t t-tease...” You stuttered, clenching at how fast he can get you stimulated with his fingers.

The whole night long was consumed with his body against yours, the wet sounds of deep thrusts and muffled moans praising each other. The following morning, your naked bodies remained entangled. He was still in deep slumber when your body clock alarms you to wake up. though you couldn’t move when he had his arm around you. The love marks on his chest that you’ve made were more exposed when the sunlight hits him, your fingers carefully trailing on it so he wouldn’t be startled. He needed all the rest he can get.

If only you can have mornings like this when war wasn’t in the equation.

Bidding goodbye was tough. Breakfast was too quiet, just like how he packed his remaining belongings and dressed back to his uniform. You watched him by the patio as he waited for the bus to pick him up. When one finally arrived, he turned around to face you once more. He understood that neither of you wanted to say anything. It would make things harder.

You had to stay strong for him because he was fighting the scarier people. But as he waved goodbye, this was your only exception. Just before he boarded the bus,

“Fuck it.” You mumbled to yourself, running to him as your life depended on it.

“(Y/N), what are you-” Doyoung stopped at his tracks, awaiting your sudden move. You shut him up by desperately placing your lips against his, having that a tiny sliver of hope that it won’t be your last. His hands cradled your face while your arms tangled behind his neck.

It wasn’t until the annoyed coughs from the bus driver stopped your actions. Patting your dress from crinkling, Doyoung left a kiss on your forehead.

“Wait for me, alright? I’ll be back before you know it.” He reassured you.

“Fight strong and stay alive, Doyoung. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I love you, (Y/N).” He caressed your cheek one last time, your hand cupping it.

“I love you too, Doyoung.”

Both of you made sure to write to each other, just anything to keep in touch from being apart.

Oh, if only you knew how long you’d have to wait before seeing each other again.

1951

Doyoung was stationed in the infantry division, always staying prepared for the plans his side made and the active attacks started from the enemy side. He’s lost count of the number of times he’s gotten critically injured and knocked out, but he fought through it with his upcoming plans in mind. How he must fight for the country and stay alive to see the change. How he wanted to have a future with you when everything settles down. It was his motivation every time.

But it took one surprise attack many months later from the enemy side to take it all away. When one of the senior officers was shot, he shielded him without hesitation. All these firing bullets were shot on his back, his legs wobbling from the impact. Due to the non-stop bleeding and lack of urgent medical attention, he painfully lost his life while holding on to his officer.

“Please tell my lover that I love her and I’m sorry.”

Those were his last words before he took one final breath and flatlined.

Seconds later, his soul flowed outside his body and froze at the trippy feeling while witnessing different officers and people on the medic team mourn in front of his dead body. Taeyong, one of the people he befriended from the medic team, tried to wake him repeatedly.

“Doyoung, please don’t joke around. Wake up, please.”

Even if he knew it was hopeless, he did his best to the point his entire team had to pull him away from his best friend’s lifeless body.

“No, he needs to live! He has a family, big dreams, and a girl waiting back in Busan!” He sobbed in his chest. Out of all the people he tried to resuscitate, Doyoung was the first friend that he came across on this occasion. Doyoung ached at this vulnerable sight, wanting so badly to be by his side. With these surprise attacks, death is more prevalent than ever.

“Kim Doyoung?” An unfamiliar voice called for him from behind. He spun around to find one woman in war uniform, though he’s never encountered her in the field, and a man in all black.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Manwol, and he’s the grim reaper. I believe you just died a few minutes ago, correct?”

The truth was piercing to accept, glancing at his lifeless body on the side with Taeyong and another close friend he made, Jungwoo, crying his heart out.

“Are you going to take me already?” He asked.

“Unless you still have things you want to accomplish in the living world, then you can freely go to the other side.” The grim reaper answered monotonously, very much used to this question.

“From the looks of it, you have a lot you want to do still,” Manwol observed from afar, all too familiar with the feeling. “If you come with us, I can help you accomplish them.”

If something stayed with Doyoung until his last breath, it was his skepticism with the supernatural. He was unsure if he can trust them because according to the books, once you’re dead, that’s it. It’s up to the people around him to speak good or bad of him.

“You’re uncertain with our intentions, aren’t you?” Manwol easily read through his stoic expression. “You’ll be surprised with how many things can debunk from the books if you let us, Doyoung.”

For the first time, Doyoung had no clue what and where to go next. No one wrote a book on how to act like a cold, wandering soul. His dreams were limited, meaning he has to find new ones or tweak them a lot to make it possible. Despite her reserved nature, he figured that Manwol looked like someone who knows what she’s talking about. With the grim reaper he’s read in children’s books, he wasn’t as frightening as he was portrayed.

This was his last shot.

“Guide me, please.”

The car ride alone there was messy and bumpy since it was peak war season. He wasn’t the only person who lost their life that night and riding in the vehicle. He recognized a few of them. It was saddening to find the playful Donghyuck, his youngest companion, beside him.

“I sacrificed myself to protect two unarmed nurses in the medic tent when some enemy soldiers charged inside.”

Another was the wise Taeil, who was stationed by the barracks. He was one of the people in the front of in line for battle.

“I thought they were fooling with us, and then suddenly fired multiple attacks. I caught on to it quickly, but they still got me.”

Doyoung remembered all those times he used to ask for love advice from him when it grew hard to be far from you. But that advice is no longer useful when he’s further away from you. He was dead, you weren’t.

Once the three of them arrived at their destination, it was an inn that looked destroyed from the outside, but very organized on the inside. Donghyuck and Taeil decided already what they wanted to do before they cross the other side. Doyoung, on the other hand, was still contemplating.

Manwol knew well how to spot a heartbroken person, being one herself. She wasn’t one to interfere with these affairs, but maybe she’d make an exception. Seeing right through him, he lived a fruitful life. She saw his sacrifice, picking up on his last words being dedicated for you, his lover. He didn’t die in vain.

When the two men were off to follow their plans, Manwol took this chance to approach the downcast man again.

“Is something you holding you back from going…” She questioned, staying by his side for a moment. “…or a special someone?”

“I promised my lover to fight strong and to stay alive while she promised to keep waiting for me. But here I am. She has yet to know that I didn’t make it and I can’t bear to see her in utter pain.”

“Death during a war isn’t new, Doyoung. A lot of promises become broken.”

“But I had so much I wanted to do with her after, Manwol. I can’t just leave her yet, I want to stay by her side even if we can’t see each other physically.”

Based on the information Manwol received about Doyoung from the inn staff, it came to her attention that he was fond of books. Thus, it gave her an idea.

“Doyoung, you’re very similar to the staff here. They all have goals that take years to accomplish, so I gave them a job here.”

“What are you offering me then, Manwol?”

“I have a library here in dire need of a librarian. With your interest in books, would you like to take it? After all, I’m implying that you’d want to wait for your lover to make up for your broken promise.”

Doyoung can’t deny that she was wrong. This was where his journey at Manwol Inn (then became Hotel Del Luna) started. Time worked a little bit differently as a ghost, but it’ll be worth it until you return in his arms one day.

On the day you regrettably received the letter from the military about the tragedy, life has turned for the worst. Upon seeing a soldier by your front step, it was only an innocent habit to give him letters for Doyoung and receiving new ones. However, his hand halted you to hand over a military logo imprinted envelope addressed to you alongside his tidy military uniform other letters from Doyoung.

His last letters.

You had no courage to even complete reading it when the first few lines weren’t enough to taunt you. Nothing could prepare for this dreaded moment.

“We regret to inform you that a report from the war office has confirmed that Kim Doyoung was a casualty of the sudden attack of Seoul. this letter formally declares that he was killed in action....”

Dropping the god-forsaken letter in your hands, you instantly locked yourself in your room. Your parents, who picked it up to read, came running to your door and tediously knocking for you to open it. But you didn’t listen, the heartbreak being too grave.

You tried so hard to keep it together these past months. but this kind of grief resulted in your feeble figure pouring into a heap of salty tears and loud sobs. Your back against the wall smoothly slid down until your butt landed on the floor. You clutched on to your gut that continuously stabbed you back and forth.

Betrayal was an understatement, yet it was beyond his control. War guarantees nothing.

But not when you needed him more than ever, especially when the biggest yet most unexpected news came upon you. All nausea and wild mood swings in the weeks that followed after he left weren’t normal, only to find out that you were expecting his child.

It was a secret you didn’t know how to confront through letters because it was best to tell him in person. Due to the situation, it was impossible. Only in your latest letter did you finally come clean about it, but it was now never to be sent because he has already passed away. Your entire family wasn’t pleased with this outcome but they didn’t shame you for it either. It was your choice and body after all.

They were concerned about how others will perceive you in the long run. An unmarried woman carrying a dead man’s child is taboo in this conservative society. Yet abortion is seen in a bad light too. You were stuck in a double edge sword, but you knew from the beginning that you wanted to keep the child. It’s a struggle, for sure, and your plans will have to wait.

Amid this bad luck, this unborn child is the last closest piece of Doyoung.

Amongst your unavoidable flow of tears that you knew must be stopped so it wouldn’t badly affect your child, you placed a hand on top of your lower belly. There was already an evident swelling bump, but your choice to continue wearing loose clothing to swerve from the public’s judgment covered it fine.

Well, for now. Only in the last trimester, it was going to be a challenge.

“I’m sorry you won’t be meet your father....” You spoke, rubbing it upwards. “....But I’ll make sure to take good care of you. You’re all I have left of him.”

Ever since Doyoung accepted Manwol’s offer, he never left his spot at the library. He was amazed at the endless arrangements of books. Even the western books his parents banned him from reading as a child were there. All this entertainment can distract from the long time he has to wait.

Except for today specifically, he asked Jeno, a new friend he made who also lost his life during the Korean war, to take over for a few hours when he found out that mail was to be delivered in Busan.

“Hyung, are you sure?”

“I just need to see her, Jeno.”

Doyoung expected the heartache when he saw you cry in your bedroom after finding out, and he couldn’t refrain from crying with you. Even as a soul, he’d do anything to cradle you in his arms and say that things will get better in time. How he wanted to tell you to take your time in life and that he’s willing to wait until your time comes. Whenever it could be.

Sadly, he was right there listening to you talk to your unborn child. The disbelief of in his reaction; he was supposed to be a father. Sure, he was relatively young. People won’t approve of it because you were unmarried. But it was an early start to settling down with each other.

It took him a while to accept his unfortunate fate, but for him to be robbed of this meaningful part in life was more unbearable to deal with.

From that point, he made sure to watch over you even if he was invisible. Even if Manwol advised him not to so it won’t complicate anything, he reassured that he has it under control. As a ghost without any grudges, what’s there to throw a fit at? He could retaliate at the enemy soldiers who shot him fearlessly, but they are nowhere to be found and he had no interest to turn into ashes.

The only time he assisted you was when you were giving birth. It was an excruciating process, sweating and breathing intensely. You let a scream every time you pushed, like any of the herbs or medications you consumed were wearing off. Your body wanted to give up as it weakened at the loss of blood.

Childbirth is no joke, having high mortality rates during these times. It was a tempting choice you’d want to take as Doyoung is no longer alive. But you knew it was selfish to leave your child as an orphan.

Doyoung couldn’t withstand watching you struggle anymore. If there was a trick Manwol taught him, it was to possess people. It’s often portrayed as a negative skill, warning him to only use it when it’s an emergency.

The pitiful way your eyes were drained off energy, he had to step in. Observing the midwife panicking on your side even if she was giving you support, he took his chance to possess her. Adjusting to this body, it made him glad to feel your warm hand again.

“(Y/N), your child is almost here.” The doctor positively announced.

“I want a breather. The grim reaper should just take me.” You complained as your mother wiped the endless drops of sweat on your forehead. Doyoung took it to heart, knowing death firsthand was no joke.

“Yah, don’t say stuff like that, (Y/N). This child is bound to be an amazing addition to your life.”

You didn’t know how your timid midwife would straighten you up, but it motivated you a lot more to finish the process. Little did you know.

She gladly accepted your firm grips on her hand, giving affirmative responses to keep you going. In moments you closed your eyes to push, you couldn’t help notice in the corner of your eye how from the physique of your midwife, you swore you saw him. His hand holding yours instead of the midwife.

Was this in the medication? For a moment, you let a tear not from pain but from happiness to catch a glimpse of him in your weakest moment. Every day, you were missing him.

It took almost half an hour before a small set of wails bore in the room while you harshly threw yourself back in the bed to recover your breathing patterns. It knocked you out for a while. Doyoung, still possessing the midwife, was handed the newborn by the doctor and tasked to clean her up.

“It’s a healthy baby girl.” the doctor confirmed as he wiped away the blood on the floor.

He was then brought by your mother to a designated room to bathe the relaxed newborn in his arms.

His newborn.

His desire to phase out of the midwife and use his skill to be visible while holding his child was strong. But it’s too risky since the midwife can catch him. He sucked it up and proceeded in what the books taught him on bathing a baby. During his break time, he’d read all the parenting books he could find. It’ll be rare anyways for him to use the tips, but he always wanted to stay prepared.

As the bubbles of the soap surrounded the relaxed baby, he washed her delicately to avoid her from waking up. He was just mesmerized at how you and he created something so precious. He used to be the type of man to be awkward around kids, but after catering to many children in the library and now his child, it started to change.

“Hello there, little one. Your mother needs you, so you better be good to her.”

Ghosts were highly discouraged to make any more emotional connections with the living because they’ll just end up being hurt, making it harder to move on. Exactly what Doyoung is doing was that, and the more he bonded with his daughter, it was a rekindled kind of pain. The kind when you separate family from each other. The same one he felt when he bid his parents good-bye before joining the war, only to never come back.

To top this off, the tiny hand of his sleeping daughter, whom he finally dried off with a small towel and wrapped in a fresh blanket, sleepily grasped on his pinky finger. Technically, it was the midwife’s, but he was in control.

Nonetheless, the innocent gesture got him both feeling on top of the moon and disheartened at the same time. As he curled it in a silly manner, noticing the size difference, he leaned down to leave a kiss on top of her forehead.

“I’m sorry I’m going to miss out on your life. But I’ll always be here for you, even if I’m in the shadows. Don’t ever question my love for you. Because I do love you, wholeheartedly.”

Kim Areum.

That was the name you settled with when your daughter was finally in your arms. It’s ideal to give Doyoung’s last name too because she is half of him. After resting for quite a while, you noticed how the midwife suddenly shook her body and took a loud deep breath when she helped out cleaning the area up.

“Are you okay?” You question, noticing her state of confusion.

“Uhm, yeah....” She narrowed her eyes to her environment. “Oh wait, you gave birth already? Wow, that was pretty fast...”

“Yes, you were right beside me the whole time...” You glanced sideways at her, suspicious.

“Oh wow yeah, I was.” She tried to laugh it off. “It was like I had an out-of-this-world moment or something. Oh whatever, I sound stupid.”

That brought you back to your early doubts. Whether or not he showed up or you were somewhat hallucinating. But not wanting to reflect too much on the impossible, you merely refocused to the peaceful newborn nestled in your arms.

She’s the only one keeping you alive in these hard times. She served as a reminder of him, thus you’ll hold on to her. From the outside of your window, all Doyoung can do now is to continue watching from afar every once in a while.

1954

Not much has changed in the past few years. You were either reading or taking care of Areum. Your family was lucky enough to have good housing, but getting important necessities such as water and food was a constant struggle.

With the war leading to lots of souls in the inn, he had to fulfill his mandatory orders to prepare souls to move on. He was joyful to be of service to others like he was back in the day.

Though lately, it’s still unavoidable for him to ponder how exactly are you and his daughter are doing. Once Donghyuck and Taeil went ahead for the afterlife, the loneliness began to creep in. Then a while ago, Jeno introduced him to a new group of children today checking out the library. Caught in a deadly car accident on their way home from school, he pitied how such bright kids left the world too soon.

These factors sparked his longing, plus there was still something above that: it was your birthday soon. Much to his luck, Manwol just received a new gift from the deities that might be his biggest help in coping.

“A dream call?” Doyoung inquired once he was summoned by Manwol to the meeting room, sitting across her.

“Yes, a call to anyone from the living that you wish to talk to in their dreams. Though this can only be used once per visitor. The deities pitied those with loved ones who want to see them physically. Thus, they invented this.”

“What are you implying?”

“Doyoung, you know well how easy I can read people even through their fake smiles. You miss her very much.” Manwol replied, holding up the phone to his ear. “This is your chance, Doyoung. Even if you can’t see them, they will see you.”

The first dream started with you sitting at your old spot by the river, in a simple dress Doyoung bought for you on your last ever birthday celebration with him. The forest looked breathtaking as if it was still pre-war times again. The river was still clear of blood and pollution. It must be spring, the flowers above you on the tree were in full bloom.

The sound of bike wheels stopping to park in the grass and someone humming changed your point of interest. There was the only person in your mind who would do that. Jumping from your seated position, you looked behind the other side of the tree only to find him picking up flowers from the branches. He was tall, not having much difficulty getting them.

The way he looked so peaceful and well-rested. This beauty and peace of mind he radiated, it was unreal.

“Doyoung.”

He clenched on the phone with his hand, his concealed yearning to at least hear his name on your lips again urged a tear to go down his cheek.

“Happy birthday, (Y/N).”

He handed you the flower bouquet he made for you. Meanwhile, he suddenly dropped it when you didn’t hesitate to sling your arms around his waist. Your head pressed to his chest, pulling him closer you could care less if you lost your breath. Doyoung felt that tight hug, gripping on the part of his uniform where you placed your head. He rubbed it as if it was your hair.

None of you spoke a word and gracefully paused to take a moment.

Time in a dream call works a bit differently than in the living world. Once you’re in session, one minute alone of talking is equivalent to 30 minutes in the living world.

Doyoung took his first call to catch up with you and say everything he never got to before. It was also where he confessed how he knew about your daughter. There were guilt and regret at how you could’ve told him in your earlier letters.

“You were scared, (Y/N). There’s no way I can blame you.” Laying against his chest, he comforted you. “By the way, she has your nose, you know.”

There was this wave of relief that splashed you after this big burden lifted. You can live a more untroubled life now.

“She has your temper though.” You jokingly say, putting you in a fit of giggles. It’s been too long since you experienced genuine humor.

“At age 3? Yah, I’m impressed.” He remarked with pride.

Since Doyoung wasn’t capable to be physically affectionate in the dreams, he was more on receiving them from you. In return, he gave sincere conversations even if they were a yearly thing. Talking about your daughter was one of your favorite topics. adolescence, teenage years, to university, there was so much to talk about. Doyoung would only use his dream calls on you on your birthday, making them more meaningful. Each one, you were both back to your twenties with different outfits and settings based on the differing decades.

“Don’t you feel burdened to wait for me?” You asked as his fingers brushed some of your hair back while you watched the sunset from a wooden bench.

“No, I’m not. there are still many things I want to fulfill before moving on. I also want to watch Areum grow up and help you in any possible. Only when these goals of mine and others are cleared, then I‘ll be able to rest well.”

“Will you be okay until then, Doyoung?”

“I broke a promise with you, (Y/N). and I want to make up for it.”

“What will you do when my time comes?” Your hand interlocked with his, squeezing it tight even if he couldn’t reciprocate it.

“I will shout out your name and hug you tight, my love. But until then, appreciate your life. Live it to its fullest. For me.”

Doyoung sensed your worry but comforted you that it’ll be okay. He wasn’t lying either when he said he wanted to do a lot of things too. Every dream call, his gut feelings were strong to know what you were going through in every call, giving you any advice to get you through them.

To count, he gave you almost 50 dream calls.

The late 1950s-1960s

After returning to university to finish your undergraduate studies when the war ended, you continued to pursue law school and taking the exams as you’ve wanted. But this meant moving to Seoul for better opportunities.

Doyoung celebrated with himself when he found out, not having to take the bus or ride the hotel car to Busan every time he wanted to see you two. Now, he could simply walk back and forth, managing it with his shifts.

Currently, he was taking a break in his office. The deities gifted him with a bunch of murder mystery books from the West, fully immersed in the storylines. Leaning backward from his chair, he was abruptly disconnected by a knock on his open door.

“Hyung, you have a special visitor in the lobby.” Jeno urgently informed Doyoung as he leaned on the side of his office door, out of breath. “It’s quite important if you ask me.”

Doyoung removed his reading glasses and put down his novel. Putting back his blazer on, he approached his younger friend and made their way down the hallway together hastily.

“Is it a family member who’s passed?” He questioned, slightly folding his blazer sleeves then adjusting the hotel pin on his chest pocket. By the tone Jeno spoke, it must’ve been serious. Although there’s no way it can be you just yet, he has no idea who was looking for him then.

The lobby was bustling with numerous souls. Some still fresh, some just roaming around, while others were preparing to pass the other side. Nothing new to it, until Jeno pointed out a specific scene in one corner of the room.

“Hyung, over there.”

Like an obedient puppy, Doyoung looked over to where Jeno’s finger directed. At first glance, by her long black hair, he recognized Manwol, who was kneeling in front of someone seated. It wasn’t until she stood up and shifted her body to the side to reveal that someone, patting her young head kindly.

She wore a ribbon on her hair, matching with the colors of her floral dress while carefully holding on to a piece of paper with her drawing. Due to the distance, he couldn’t make out what she drew. Though with her dazzling eye smile formed by her small eyes, he knew her too well.

“Areum.”

Right on cue, the young girl caught his entrancing gaze. With the widest smile, she exclaimed “Daddy!”

Manwol, who was right beside her, held her hand and graced their way to Doyoung and Jeno. The two knew she despised children, ordering them to keep a keener eye on them when they wander around so they don’t access the hallway leading to her office. Unexpectedly, Areum didn’t burden her the slightest. She brought a different aura, a very pure and full of love kind.

With the full moon shining at its peak, becoming present to the eyes of the living, she must’ve spotted the hotel from afar and her interest grew wild for it. Typical for girls her age. Not afraid of the risks, she followed any directions to get here. Coincidentally, she encountered Manwol in the front gate.

Manwol recognized her straight away, even when she glimpsed the drawing of her family she treasured in her chest. She still included her father, whom she was very much acquainted with. Though, she was puzzled by her sudden appearance. When Areum explained that her father lived in the hotel according to your stories, her heart fell to her gut. Indeed, she was right, but again, ghosts are discouraged to have connections with the living or anything related to it. However, her strong senses couldn’t disregard how much Doyoung yearned for his family. Lately, his only daughter when numerous children arrived at the hotel. He didn’t want to voice it out however because the other staff shared the same sentiments, so it would be insensitive so he just kept it to himself. But Manwol sensed it all too well.

She won’t tell anyone this, but she has quite a soft spot for Doyoung. She empathized with him the most since he came to the hotel, willing to do what it takes to make his coping and waiting worthwhile. She was still brash at times, but only when necessary.

Areum’s presence didn’t seem to harm anyone, charming anyone around with a smile and her words. Especially that smile, it shows enough of how much she’s Doyoung’s daughter. With a rough internal debate, Manwol welcomed her inside the magical hotel Areum described it as and tasked Jeno to call for Doyoung. It was a risk, but a needed one.

With Manwol innocently holding the young girl’s hand, she looked her down and asked her, “Is that your father from your drawing, Areum?”

Areum lit up as she tilted her head upwards to see her tall father, nodding proudly. “Yes, that’s him! The one my mom talks about in her dreams too!”

Doyoung’s heart swelled at her pride for him, not hesitating to kneel to her height. Arms wide open, he loudly called her out for the first time. “Areum!”

The young girl, letting go of Manwol’s hand, ran as fast as her short legs could like nothing can stop her, even if the lobby was packed. Soon enough, she’s at the grasp of her father, carrying and hugging her in circles. Light as a feather, he took in her scent and warmth. The racing beat of her heart pulsated against his chest, reminding how much life she’s filled with. It was liberating that she found him, even when he stood behind the dark shadows.

Once he put her back down, “What brings you here, Areum? Isn’t it past your bedtime already?”

She pouted, sulking at disobeying your rules. “I know, but as soon as I was ready for bed, I saw the hotel in bright lights just like mommy described. She said that only during the peak full moon it’ll be shown to very special people who are alive, and it turns out that I’m one of them, daddy.”

Hearing that title from her lips was something he would’ve never get sick of. He felt the validity more than ever.

The odds of being a human spotting the hotel during peak full moon was rare, earning perplexed looks by those who don’t see it. Doyoung never encountered a human waltzing in the hotel out of the bloom, so for his daughter to have this mystical ability was a gift in disguise. Maybe the deities knew how to cut off some slack and agony for wandering souls. This was an excuse to stop cursing them now and then.

“Wow, aren’t you a lucky girl for that?” Jeno, whom he forgot was by his side, patted her head similarly to Manwol. “Your father missed you dearly, you know?”

“Well, Mr. Jeno,” She picked up his name from his nametag. “I missed him too.”

Doyoung processed the features of the angelic girl in front of him, astonished at how you and he created someone so cheerful during a time of trouble. Aside from her eye smile, she had his gummy smile and curiosity, while she inherited your nose and intelligence. Cupping her chubby cheek, he pinched it with a cute sound effect from his mouth.

“Daddy!” She protested, slapping his hand away and dramatically covered her reddening cheek. “Not allowed to that, ever.”

Oh, you weren’t joking when you said she had his temper too.

Before he could defend himself, Manwol reentered their interaction. Like common sense, Doyoung got back on his feet but helplessly giving side glances to his daughter. Manwol giggled at his sudden formality before instructing Jeno to lead Areum to the carnival room. As Areum waves him goodbye for the meantime, Manwol added on.

“There’s a rise of kids checking in the hotel, unfortunately, so I wholeheartedly requested the deities to create an area dedicated for child-like fun. Just today, it’s finished in construction so it’s a great place for Areum to explore.”

“Manwol, I-” He was feeling overwhelmed, stumbling his words. “Why did you this for me?”

“You used your dream calls for (Y/N), but there’s never been a way for you to reach out to your daughter. And the way her glimmering eyes wanted to come in when she shouldn’t, I couldn’t refuse a chance for the two to reunite.”

“But what about the deities?”

“I’ll handle it. What matters is that you have tonight to spend with Areum. It’s the least thing I could do as you are one of my beloved staff,” She reassured, yet looked at him in a downcast manner. “But as much as possible, everything tonight must feel like a vivid dream to her. She’s not allowed to keep any knick-knacks from tonight either.”

Everything always came at a price. Doyoung was acquainted well enough, but he can’t lie to say that I didn’t ache. Nonetheless, Manwol having such a selfless side was completely new to him. That’s why he never asked for favors like the other staff since he’ll just get turned down or scolded like a child. Maybe she wasn’t as scary as to how they labeled her all these years he’s worked for her.

Manwol took Doyoung’s silence under the impression of internal conflict. In true Manwol fashion, she clapped her hands right in front of his visage, snatching him back to reality. “You’re wasting time, Doyoung! Don’t think about it too much right now. Now come on and dress up more casually, your daughter is waiting for you.”

Following her order, he bowed respectfully before zooming to his hotel room. She was right, he has to enjoy whatever is given. Demanding for more when you’re already dead is disrespectful to the eyes of the deities, considering that alongside your past life when you step into the afterlife.

From his uniform, he changed into a white long sleeve buttoned-up, which was layered under a lilac knit sweater, and black trousers. He styled his hair in a dandier way, applying gel then combing it upwards. He was only following the trends of the decade, basing it on the recently checked-in souls. Deities must’ve liked him a lot to give him a lot of gifts from time to time, making him completely disregard the money from the living world Manwol gives during his off days. Most of the time, his off days are spent either secretly observing you and your daughter, or reading more books in the library.

This one was like a change of scenery, his heart pumping once he exited to the elevator and rushed to the carnival room. And just as he entered the doors, the wave of nostalgia hit him instantaneously. It felt like he was in university again, bringing you around the bizarre contraptions and games for the first time for your amusement. A spark in your romance, so full of young love and naivety of what was to come.

He spotted his young girl wrapped around in the arms of Jeno, explaining to her about the wide range of rides as she licked on a rainbow lollipop. Once he showed up to the both of them, Jeno cautiously put her down so she can hold Doyoung’s hand.

“You deserve this, hyung. Make it worthwhile.” Jeno placed his hand on his older friend’s shoulder before leaving the room. Keeping it in mind, Doyoung kneeled again in front of his daughter. Her smiles were contagious, fascinated by everything she’s surrounded in.

“I’ve never seen anything like this, daddy.” That line sounded familiar, chuckling at the precious memory.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have fun tonight!”

The bliss in tonight was never-ending, like the two of them were in their own world. Areum wanted to ride on a horse in a carousel first, which Doyoung agreed to. Lifting her, he held her by the waist as the ride started to go. She pointed out every object that she can see while Doyoung avidly listened, then telling her what each ride and game consists of in return.

Once they got off, her short legs scurried off to the game booth where rows of bottles were laid in front of her. Right beside her were the rings. Doyoung properly described the instructions, and on the dot, Areum went ham and started throwing the rings in random directions. By the way, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed, her competitive side was evident. Doyoung observed as she either hit or miss, finding another trait of his in her.

You’d find it hard to believe, but she would’ve been a total daddy’s girl.

To her success, she squealed victoriously as she won and hugged her dad. One of the staff in charge rewarded her with new candy to munch on, and off she went to look for the next attraction to divulge in. Doyoung struggled a little catching up to her, but anything he would do for his daughter.

From a one on one balloon dart game, which Doyoung willingly let Areum won because she’s a fussy one, roaming through a mini house of mirrors, riding the indoor Ferris wheel, and many more, Areum was ready to move to the next venue after telling her father that she wanted him to read to her.

“Mommy said you’re a librarian here because you like reading. I like it too, can you take me there?”

Just like you, he was charmed by his daughter. “Alright, Areum. Let’s go there then.”

Before they made it through past the wide doors with the bright red sign above saying “Exit”, Areum’s attention was distracted by a black kiosk near the Ferris wheel. She followed her gut, changing her direction. Doyoung quickly followed her footsteps, only to turn up in front of a photo booth.

“Wow, are these where you can take instant pictures, daddy?”

Waves of nostalgia hit Doyoung as if he were on the beach, totally unprepared for the emotional impact. With Areum, he missed your presence more than ever. Having you there completed your family, and it could’ve been quite a reunion.

“Yes, Areum. How about you go inside and daddy will insert some coins so you can have your pictures taken?”

“But daddy, I want to take pictures with you! It’s only mommy that has pictures with you, and I don’t want to feel left out.” She threw a tantrum, crossing her arms.

Here she goes again, making it difficult for Doyoung to refuse. Even with Manwol only giving him one rule to follow for the night, he doesn’t want any bad memories to be made with his daughter. He’ll have to work it out one way or another later. In the meantime, he smirked before carried her out of the blue inside the booth. Her shrieks increased in volume, only softening after she settled on her father’s lap. Doyoung inserts a few coins, and swiftly enough, the contraption started to operate.

“Okay Areum, one photo strip has 4 solo photos in it. 4 smiles or poses, okay? You’re going to look at the lens there, in the shape of a circle. Then, the flash is going to show in 3, 2-” Right on time, the two smiled.

They had less than 10 seconds until the second shot, so the two pulled random funny expressions. Doyoung pouted his lips, while Areum stuck out her tongue. For the third photo, Doyoung kissed the top of her head while Areum poked her cheeks with her fingers. Lastly, Areum instructed her father to lower his head to her level so she can peck his cheek. His shock was perfectly taken, filling his heart with adoration.

Areum hating getting affection but loves giving it? Another trait of his.

The look of amazement Areum gave once she stepped foot on the endless library was priceless. She described how it was bigger than the national library in Seoul. While she strolled around the near shelves, Jeno, taking over his night shift, approached him with a bottled treat. But it wasn’t just a normal one.

“Manwol and I overheard that she liked strawberry milk, so Manwol told me to give it to you. It has the dream spell potion from Johnny’s bar mixed with flowers from the deities so she can’t see ghosts or the hotel anymore. Make sure she drinks it before she leaves this place.”

While Areum settles on the small couch with her chosen books, she patiently anticipated for her father to read to her before her yawning takes over her. She never tracked the time, but she’s gone way beyond her average curfew.

“Sleepy already, sweetheart?” Doyoung asked as he sat beside her, inspecting her drowsy state.

Areum shook her head, displaying all the books she got on the table in front of her. “Nope! Not until you read me a bedtime story.”

Doyoung scanned through her book selection, amazed by her choices. The Little Prince, Winnie the Pooh, Goodnight Moon, and a bunch of Madeline books from the series, he couldn’t decide! If only he could read them all for her.

A lot of those books he read growing up, and the same goes for you. Especially Madeline, which he discovered through you as one of your childhood favorites. By instinct, he chose the first book from the series, simply entitled “Madeline”.

“This one.” He patted his lap so she could sit on it, which she did without wasting a breath.

It was ironic for a librarian to have never read aloud for anyone during his stay. Maybe because no one asked him to nor he wasn’t into reading aloud. He preferred reading to himself, only helping those looking for specific books or recommending if anyone has a favorite genre. Maybe he’ll give it a shot now. This first-hand experience opened his eyes to a new type of intimacy, hearing the adorable reactions from his daughter as he read the life of Madeline in Paris.

“In the middle of one night, Miss Clavel turned on her light and said, “Something is not right!”.” Doyoung flipped the next page. “Little Madeline sat in bed, cried and cried-”

“She cried to get attention, huh?” Areum commented mid-reading.

“Areum, if she didn’t, she could get even sicker. We don’t want that, right?”

“If I cried like that, would that be enough to bring you back to me and mommy, daddy?” She wholesomely questioned, twisting her body weight so she could face him. “Mommy already has a way to reach to you, and I want something like that too”

Doyoung knew she was a smart girl, but she often denies the reality of some things. In this case, her father’s passing still hasn’t hit her, even if she possessed the mystical skill to see ghosts and the hotel. Doyoung felt cornered, so before he could think of a reply, he kindly asks her,

“Hmm, what do you have in mind, sweetheart?”

“Well,” She pouted as she fidgeted with her index fingers. “I read all your old letters to mommy, so maybe I can write you one every year.”

“What a great idea, sweetheart!” He cheered. “How will you give it?”

“Uh..” She paused to think, then a bright idea came to her. “During your birthday, daddy! Mommy and I still celebrate it if you don’t know, so I can offer it alongside the food.”

Doyoung played along, knowing that tradition of yours. Although it still aches him to show up on his death anniversary, he compromised by showing up on his birthday. He’d see his and your families celebrating, talking about the positive and fun things about him in his life. He observed his daughter a little more later when she got older and started talking. Whenever you praised him for something, there was hope and inspiration in her young eyes. It’s uplifting to discover that his legacy was seen in a good light. He’d never wanted to be seen as a bad guy to anyone.

“I’ll look forward to it, sweetheart. Promise?” He stuck out his pinky to her, getting curled in response by hers.

“Promise!”

Both of them chuckled, appreciating the moment. His long arms embraced her from the back, nuzzling his head on his shoulder. How blessed to have a daughter like her, but from a glance, the bottle of strawberry milk situated beside the pile of books gave a remembrance of one of his remaining tasks. It had to be done, but he hoped she won’t at least forget to write to him.

“Look! Miss Manwol wanted to give this to you.” He handed it to her.

Ecstatic, she cranked open the bottle cap and took tiny sips of it. “It’s so good, daddy!”

Doyoung softly laughed as excess milk drops dribbled in her lips, wiping it with his thumb. “Aigoo, you messy girl. Let’s continue, shall we?”

Cozying up to him again, Doyoung resumed his storytelling. Once he said the words, “The end.”, the small head of his daughter completely leaned against his chest. Snuggling for more comfort, he checked her current condition. Knocked out like a light, he puts the book down and cradled her for a second. The last time he did something like this was when she was born. She was tiny then, and now, she’s bound to outgrow his lap sooner or later.

This was his sign to bring her home.

He boosted her small figure, her head now planted on his shoulder and his hand resting behind the nape of her neck. Her legs were entangled in his torso when he showed up at the lobby again. It was much more serene, everyone checked in already.

“Aigoo, fast asleep already?” Manwol made an appearance without warning, alongside her personal driver Yuta and the bartender Johnny.

“As expected from my magic.” Johnny commended himself, stretching his fingers. That easily gave him a slap from Yuta.

“Can’t you be more sensitive to Doyoung?”

Not caring about those two, Manwol caressed Areum from behind. Inside her cold heart, she brought so much amusement. Even if she embodied traits from Doyoung, she stood out from his usual reserved nature. She had so much energy, and it’s a fresh sight. Manwol secretly peered at their father-daughter time in the library, and she sensed the love the two had for each other. Even if it’s unbearable to separate them, having tonight was a pleasure for all.

“Yuta,” She summoned him. “Drop these two to her house safe and sound. It’s too dangerous to walk in the dark right now.”

Bowing in response, he led the way to the elevator for Doyoung to follow. But before he took the first step, Manwol halted him by the arm. “You better come back, or the deities won’t be pleased.”

He nodded before he was sent on his way. Wasn’t this brutal?

The silence in the car ride is deafening, though he didn’t want to disturb his little girl either. Yuta peeked from the mirror now and then to check on the two, sharing the gloom of his fellow friend. Having something or someone so valuable from the living world makes it hard to leave it. He understood as he suffered a similar fate to him.

When they’ve arrived at their destination, Doyoung was quick to notice that the lights from your living room were still on. It’s too risky to waltz in through the front door, squinting for other ways to go inside. To his luck, the window of Areum’s bedroom was wide open. That must’ve been how she escaped earlier.

“Be careful, Doyoung. Her neighbors may be watching.”

“It’s around 4 am right now, Yuta. I’ll be fine.” He reassured, clicking open the car door with his daughter peacefully asleep.

Entering inside her bedroom, he gently put her down on her soft bed. Covering her body with the duvet so she wouldn’t get cold, he took one last lingering look before taking his leave. Manwol might be looking for him already. Pressuring even to know that Yuta was waiting outside for him and that the deities are looking down on him too.

“Daddy,” Her tiny hand tugged on his sleeve, stopping his movements. Her droopy eyes faintly ajar, wanting to capture these last dreamy moments. “Don’t leave me and mommy again.”

This retouched attachment between the two made things much more stifling to accept reality. Doyoung understood her fright and sighed, kneeling to her again. Patting her head, “I’m sorry but I have no choice, sweetheart. We don’t want daddy to get in trouble, right?”

She lazily nods, tugging on his sleeve again. “Can you sing me to sleep, daddy? You used to do that for mommy.”

He grinned, accepted her last request. Holding on her hand, kissing it, he quietly sings.

“Eonjebuteoinji geudaereul bomyeon….”

When the song reached its end, the soft snores from Areum filled his eardrums. Her eyes are fully closed, and her tiny head fell to the side of her pillow. Kissing her forehead, he whispered, “Good night, sweetheart. Daddy loves you so much.”

A cute sight to Doyoung, she occupied a huge part in his heart. Even if everything tonight will feel like a complete dream, it’s a memorable moment for Doyoung that he’ll treasure.

Initially, he planned to leave her bedroom the same way he came in, which was through her window. That’s all Manwol tasked him to do when he arrives at your house, but his heart selfishly desires to see you. Even if he was invisible now. His powers were weakening, twitching from being visible to invisible back and forth.

Never has he stepped inside your new house, and this could be his only chance.

The first thing he saw after leaving his daughter’s bedroom was the dining room. Tidy and organized, as expected from you. For the living room connected to it, the simple decorations invited him inside. Assorted photos hung in the wall and by the table near the front door, with a fresh bouquet of asters in a vase there too.

Alluring as it is, the only thing Doyoung couldn’t keep his eyes off the most was a sleeping you in pajamas, hunched over the coffee table on top of books and numerous paperwork. An empty coffee glass neared the edge, so he caught it before you squirmed again from your sleep.

The exhaustion from your life was constantly piled up one after the other. You’ve been studying hard at law school, balancing it with a part-time job as a teacher’s assistant at your university for undergrads and being a mom to Areum. Even seeing the pile of bills right by your side, you didn’t just need the help of your families. You needed him, as a friend, lover, and father.

Men were still viewed as the main breadwinners of the family, but you juggled both positions as mother and father. It was a vicious fate, and he’d do anything to share that challenge with you. For now, the only thing he could do is bring you to bed at least.

Taking you into his arms bridal style, completely knocked out, he only assumed the remaining door in front of Areum’s bedroom was your bedroom. Carefully kicking it, he graced your bed and laid you down elegantly so your sleeping flow won’t be disturbed. He put the covers on top of your body so you’d feel comfier.

Right in front of your bedside was a breezy open window, the moonlight creeping in to highlight your sleeping face. The wrinkles on your forehead started to show, a side effect of immense stress. It’s a trait no one wants, yet it symbolized aging and moving forward to the future. Doyoung envied you for it.

Besides that, you looked youthful as ever, seeking internal peace from the outside world in your deep slumber. His index traced the outline of your face, appreciating your glow. Trapped in amazement, leaving you will be more difficult. It’s been a while since he saw you up close in the flesh, but Manwol’s words daunted his mind. Just like his daughter, his lips softly pecked your forehead and to your ear, he said in a hushed tone, “Good night, my love. I’m so proud of you.”

Getting back on his knees to exit, he’s convinced that you and your daughter can detect a leaving presence and catch it before they do. On cue, your hand unconsciously grabbed his wrist. Your mind couldn’t make up what mental state you were in, but something in you vibed a known presence. One that you’ve yearned, one that you struggle to wait and see until your birthday arrives. Is he actually here?

Doyoung reacted immediately, his feet shuffling to face you again. Eyes still shut close, but your lips released a satisfied moan as you stretched your arms slightly.

“Is it my birthday already?” You mumbled incoherently, gripping on the unknown wrist. “Or am I just lucky enough to get a free pass?”

He rolled his eyes at your nonsense. “If this was a free pass, what would you want me to do?”

You weakly took a peek. It was blurry, probably caused by your sleepiness. But you recognized the silhouette of this stranger from the back of your hand. You clutched his grip, bringing his face closer to yours. Doyoung didn’t expect such a jerking action, almost falling limp if his other free hand didn’t grip on your duvet.

“Kiss me before you go again, my love.” You requested, mindlessly craving his touch.

Loosening from your grip, his palm cupped your cheek as he wets his lips. He made the first move, sweetly and slowly. Even at your unknown state, you returned with the same level of passion, brushing the hair behind the nape of his neck to deepen it. You haven’t kissed anyone like this in a very long time, too busy with your studies and motherhood. This refreshed your memories of what you missed, a warm tear escaping your eye.

No one will ever match up to him.

Doyoung’s deprivation of physical touch for you amplified, eagerness for so much more than this. Touching himself to the thought of you grew tiring, wanting to have you in the flesh by his side. It wasn’t until a bright car light from outside shun by your window. Yuta was an impatient one, but he had every right to be.

It was fulfilling while it lasted. His heart throbbed when his lips parted from yours, opening his eyes again. Your eyes stayed closed, but your lips hummed in satisfaction.

“Nothing changed in the way you kiss, my love.” You complimented, succumbing back to your deep slumber by pulling yourself further inside the duvet.

Doyoung grinned at your words, kissing your knuckle one last time. “I meant what I said, (Y/N). Sleep well.”

He tiptoed out your bedroom, deciding to exit through the front door. Again, no one would be awake at this time anyway. However, an antique-looking photo of him caught his eye. Taking a closer look, it was you and him by his garden, clutching on his arm under their family lemon tree and smiling during pre-war times. It was a funny story actually.

His father bought a camera for the first time and wanted to test it out. You were over at their house that day to study, and his father insisted to take a photo of the two of you as a first try.

“Oh come on, we must commemorate this new contraption! The first people can be titled “Young Love” or something like that!”

Doyoung cringed, whining, “Dad, that’s so corny!”

“I don’t care. Now hurry, join the frame with (Y/N) and smile!”

His father may present himself as strict and stubborn as one of the most affluent men in Korean society even after the war, but behind the scenes, he knows how to entertain his children. Doyoung’s childhood never had a dull moment. Oh, how wished he could follow the same fate as him.

This happy photo was a golden treasure to you, framing it so it could be preserved. It was one of your last traces of him, aside from Areum. Next to it, a much smaller photo of you and Areum was placed. Also all smiles for the two of you, Areum firmly sat on your lap and clasping her hands above her dress. You cut your hair during that time, showing the dog tag necklace that once belonged to him on your neck. You were really devoted to him, and he’s grateful, to say the least.

He knew he shouldn’t take anything either before going back to the hotel, but there was just no way he can’t take this one photo of his favorite girls with him. He already kept his photo strip of him and Areum from the carnival in his back pocket, so he’ll just have to work out the consequences then.

Returning to the car was bittersweet. He took one more proper look at your home, taking in all the positive energy to have such a loving family even if he can only watch from afar. While Yuta revved the car on, Doyoung deeply sighed from the backseat. What a spontaneous evening.

“I’m guessing you didn’t resist seeing your lover either, Doyoung?” Yuta commented, viewing him from the mirror. Raising his brows playfully, “Got caught in the VIP seat of you two lip-locking.”

“First of all, that’s creepy, Yuta. Second, you most definitely know what it feels like to be separated from your lover. Cut me some slack.”

“Whatever, that’s not my business anyway. But good luck to you if Manwol asked why there was a sudden extension.” The older friend shrugged, his foot pressing on the pedal to drive off the area.

“Keyword is if she asks. Now please, drive faster, Yuta. I have a shift to fill in now.”

Last night was a gift, but also an aching reminder of what could’ve been if he never died. The sun is slowly making its appearance again, bringing in another morning in this reality. Another work day for Doyoung, more waiting to be done.

Yet recalling his bonding moments with Areum, he’ll most likely get through another few decades. He yanked out his photo strip from the back pocket of his trousers, gazing at their authentic happiness. He muttered to himself,

“I’ll see you and your mother again, and we’ll all celebrate and rejoice. ‘Til then, my sweetheart.”

Meanwhile, ever since that peculiar “dream” with Doyoung, it left you with a lot of questions. Perhaps, it’s all just in your head. Though it doesn’t quite answer how one of your beloved pictures went missing. That’s definitely something you’re going to ask if your birthday comes up again.

Moving forward, his kind words pushed you to do your best. In the next years, you first became a family lawyer for a few years to get used to the field, but permanently shifted to being a public attorney because you wanted to be able to represent those who are suffering the most yet can’t afford the legal help to avoid it.

Just like what you and Doyoung aspired.

Balancing that with a kid was overwhelming, but with your and Doyoung’s families helping you out, your stress lessened.

You served as a huge inspiration to female college students wanting to pursue law. Since law is still perceived as a male-dominated field, you constantly pushed to make space for women in that workforce. It was also rare of you to lose a case because of the hard work you put into disproving every loophole and suggesting the correct punishments for the wrongdoers.

“You really outdid yourself once again, (Y/N). Or should I say Attorney (Y/L/N) (Y/N).”

“Shut up, Doyoung. Tell me more about your hotel staff friends. That Johnny guy seems very fun, and Jeno seems like a lovely boy.”

“Johnny’s a playful lad, always the life of the party. Jeno is like the younger brother I really wish I had. Donghyun-hyung is okay and all, but he’s so high maintenance.”

“Shush! He’s doing fantastic right now. He pursued acting like he always wanted.”

“He deserves it because he’s hard-working, like yourself, Attorney.”

You’ve never fallen in love the same way you did for Doyoung. Though you won’t lie that you’ve slept with a few men during nights out with your co-workers, committing to another man was something you had no time for. You always envisioned Doyoung as the one fucking you senseless.

People viewed it as stupid to be still lovestruck over your dead lover, but you’ve been called worst insults in your life that it doesn’t sting that much anymore. At the end of the day, your heart still soared and longed for Doyoung.

You just can never let him go.

“It’s still unfair to you, Doyoung. I should be ashamed.” The two of you were at a drive-in theater, watching from the trunk of his pickup truck. Your back laid against his chest as his fingers roam your torso in an upwards motion.

“No, you shouldn’t, (Y/N). It’s natural to desire human affection. I’m the one who should be sorry for not giving it to you.”He replied, completely ignoring the film.

You scoffed jokingly. “It’s silly how we’re so deprived of sex, especially with each other.”

“Oh, (Y/N). Don’t get me started, I’m suffering here with my hand alone while you can just find any available man.”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” You surrendered, directing your head from the front to the back. “At the end of the day, it’s still your touch that still gets me weak.”

“My dear, on the day we reunite, brace yourself. I’ll show you who you really belong to.”

1973

Doyoung’s been on duty with reading books to children lately, and again, he’s aching to see what Areum’s up to. Rereading past letters from her from his birthday celebrations were driving him wild. After helping one young girl look for more books under the Madeline series, he had to make an exception. Just this once, and that would be it.

Even if he was under disguise, he desperately wanted to have just another brief conversation with her, especially that she’s a lot older compared to their last encounter. Doyoung witnessed her bloom from this imaginative young girl to a strong woman chasing after her dreams.

Like mother, like daughter.

He spotted her at a small bookstore to buy books for her classes and newly arrived ones from the States, very much interested in western literature. But upon seeing the peaked prices which were more than what she saved for, she put the book back on the shelf and gathered the ones she actually needed.

This was where Doyoung took it upon himself to offer his help. Staying long enough in the middle of the living and the dead, he was capable to turn visible.

“Stephen King, huh?” He inquired, scooting to her side and pulling out the book again to take a better look at it. He came across this book in his library, even if it was in English. “I see that you’re into horror. These books are in English though.”

Areum knew speaking to strangers is not a good thing, but if anyone reached out to her to talk about books, she can’t help but feel excited. “I’m interested in a lot of genres, and this book is pretty popular right now so I wanted to check it out. Besides, I’m reading more English books so I can become fluent one day.”

“You aren’t scared of the storylines?”

“I went through a life of hardships, sir. Nothing scares me anymore honestly.” Doyoung couldn’t help feel proud and sorry for her. Without questions, he led her to the counter and paid for all books despite her insisting not to.

“Sir, you really shouldn’t have. I can always come back for those books when I save up more.”

“It’s fine, really. With your taste in literature, you have a promising future as an author if that’s what you’re aiming for.” He complimented. Areum was frazzled at how spot on this stranger was, trying to convince him again.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t pay you back?”

“Pay me back by publishing your books.” He confidently stated, bringing out his wallet to pay the cashier. His astonishing kindness and encouragement for her are heartwarming, bowing with gratitude.

“Thank you,” She halted because she didn’t know his name.

There was no way Doyoung can disclose his actual name, so he just picked a random nickname some of the kids in the hotel who he read to coined for him. “I prefer giving people my nickname. It’s tokki.”

“Thank you, tokki. I’m Areum, Kim Areum.” She thanked him properly, struggling from carrying her things to shake his hand, but Doyoung signaled her not to.

“Nice to meet you, Areum.” He greeted back.

As Areum was more ready to part ways, Doyoung’s fatherly instincts activated due to the heavy box she held. Her dorms must be a bit far and it was already nighttime. Anything can happen.

“Excuse me, Areum. But do you mind if I help you with your books? It’s pretty late, so I just want to make you get back safe.”

Something in Areum was very willing to trust this man she just met. Sure, he was quite covered up, but it’s almost winter and maybe he didn’t want to catch a cold. Though, his intentions looked good. She’s heard stories about people getting robbed in these alleys, so she accepted his help.

Her dorms were a few blocks away, giving enough time to be acquainted with this man. Though he was the one mostly asking the questions and she answered them. She didn’t pry on it too much and went with the flow.

“Are you an only child in your family?”

“Yes. It’s also just me and my mom. I never got to meet my dad sadly. He died before I was born while battling in the Korean war.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” No matter how long it’s been since the war, the trauma of it all still haunted Doyoung.

“It’s been years so it’s fine. I found out recently that he risked his life to save his senior officer during a surprise attack from one of my uncles. If that isn’t bravery, I don’t know what is.”

“So you’re not mad at him for leaving?” He asked, hoping he didn’t cross boundaries either. He needed this closure.

“It was hard to accept at first. All my friends grew up with their actual fathers, and I felt outcasted. But there are just some things we can’t control, you know? Besides, people always spoke of him highly and that makes me proud. Though,” She answered honestly, covering up the bitterness in her words in other not to disrespect him. “I’m pretty sure I saw him in a dream when I was younger.”

Doyoung’s heart leaped. So she may recall quite a bit. “Oh really? What was it like?”

“The only person I told this to is my mom. It felt quite unreal, honestly. I was around 7-8 years old at that time, and we were at a carnival, enjoying the attractions and stuff. Then we transitioned to this huge library where he read me a bunch of stories. One of them was Madeline, I believe. One of my favorites!”

Doyoung replays the fond memory in his mind. Time really flew by so fast.

“What a fun dream, it seems to be.”

Areum was elated at the best memory of her youth, smiling to herself. “It truly was. It felt like I was with him, you know. No matter how many times he told me he loved me there, I still respond the same way and that nothing has changed.”

“I love you too, Areum.” He mumbled quietly. That dream should not have been the only memory they have of each other. Neither of them deserved to be parted.

Soon enough, they arrived at the front doors of her dorm residence. Since it was strictly for women, she explained that she’ll carry the box from here on.

“Thanks again for the help, tokki. I’ll make sure to pay you back soon.” She spoke so casually because, for some reason, this mysterious man felt trustworthy. Her gut feeling may fool her, but she let it pass.

“Take your time, Areum. I wish you the best of luck.”

Before they went separate ways, something about her bitter words from awhile ago bothered Doyoung and he wanted to say something about it. Because looking into the far future, if he didn’t, he knew he’ll regret it and make moving on harder.

“Wait, Areum!”

Areum abruptly reacted to the shouts of her name, almost dropping the box. She faced again the mysterious tokki, who now had an awkward stance with his hand in the air waving at you.

“Yes, tokki?”

Compiling his thoughts, here goes nothing.

“This is quite random but your dad... I just know he loves you too. He’s also proud of you for being strong and intelligent. I hope you don’t forget that.”

Areum was baffled by his statement, but it was uplifting to hear that. Maybe this tokki guy was going through the same thing as her, so she didn’t want to judge too quickly. She was taught to never judge a book by its cover from you. By the quick blinking of her eyes, some tears dropped down to her cheek. She let out some sniffles on her way up to her dorm room, reassured that this stranger may just be correct. She heard what she needed to hear.

It’s been a long time since he reunited with his daughter, even if she’s fooled into thinking that the dream was just a dream. His status as a father was renewed. Even if he got a major scolding from Manwol upon his return at the hotel for ditching his shift.

“She blamed you in public? Oh no, my love.” You consoled your lover after he told you the tale.

A lot of iconic songs were released during this decade, so this dream accommodated it. It was set in a jazz bar, where all sorts of alcohol on display with assorted vinyl CDs by the platform at the end. Dimly lit with numerous empty tables and chairs, and it was only the two of you. Dressed to the nines for the occasion, your flimsy hands couldn’t stop playing with your hoop earrings. A definite staple while you swayed your hips to the beat of Superstition by Stevie Wonder.

Doyoung sat in one of the bar stools in a red v-neck top and flare pants, marveling at your physique and movements in that indigo romper. You could feel his fiery stare, your body flowing through the groove to capture him into your spell. The dream version of him always gets easily distracted when you act suggestive, especially when he isn’t in control physically. Only his words can he sort out.

Dancing towards him, you dragged his arms away from his seated position to lead him to the empty dance floor.

“Let’s dance off the stress, shall we?”

Pulling off the famous dance moves and grooving in freestyle, it was a blast. Both your young energies were in sync. From the funky beat, it shuffled into a slower yet soulful song. The unwinding mood could only mean that this dream was reaching its end. You took Doyoung’s arms again, placing one on your waist and the other interlocked with you. Taking the lead, you waltzed back and forth, twirling yourself in his arms.

Doyoung cracked a smile from the phone and in the dream, immersing himself in the lovely song. It was always played on the radio during the late-night shows, dedicated for the couples out there. With you, he could finally understand why couples request it every night.

“You are the sunshine of my life,” He sang along while feeling your heartbeat against his chest. “That's why I'll always stay around.”

“You are the apple of my eye,” You carried from where he left off, equally resonating with the lyrics. No matter how many times you’ve said or expressed your patience for each other, this song held a special place. It summed up everything you’re both fighting for.

“Forever, you'll stay in my heart.”

1980s

It came to Doyoung’s attention that there’s a new member of the hotel staff, and Manwol put him in charge of touring this new addition around and orienting them about the hotel rules. Considering he wasn’t busy, he went for it.

This person would be the replacement of Johnny, who finally passed through the afterlife in high spirits after his younger brother Mark took his rightful place as the heir of their family business. Originally, it was him, but his stepmother and stepbrother stabbed him alongside his father to get ahold of the power. Without proof, they led the business as she freely did, overworking Mark numerously and spending their money to their heart’s desire.

Doyoung couldn’t let this pass. Since Manwol hired a human manager back in the ‘70s named Kun to better facilitate human-related affairs for the hotel (taxes, bills, etc), he requested him to talk to Mark then introduce him to you.

Kun also made sure to inform you that this was Doyoung’s idea.

“This Johnny is the same Johnny that Doyoung talks about in my dreams? The one who brings the fun out of him every once and while?”

“That’s right, Ms. (Y/L/N). Due to the betrayal, he can’t move on until his stepbrother is taken down.”

The fact that Kun was a bridge to the two of you felt miraculous. Now and then, Doyoung tasked Kun to buy you flowers or coffee whenever they meet. Sometimes, he’ll ask him to send his letters to you too. In return, you replied to those letters, attaching pictures of you and Areum over time. He hung it up in his office, taking a look before every shift.

Kun didn’t mind being in the middle. While Doyoung gave her cases to work on, it makes it easier for him to wait for her. Doyoung was a guest first before being a member of staff, and as the human manager, he’ll make sure that he gets to move on too.

Even if you don’t accept cases from big companies, the touching way how Mark described his passed older brother persuaded her otherwise. He even opened up about watching his father and older brother get killed right in front of him. From there, he was held hostage for years and never told anyone about that night.

It was undoubtedly the biggest case in your career. Up until this day, everyone still talks about how complex and intense the battle was.

“Always finding a way to make justice prevail, Kim Doyoung.” You thought to yourself after gathering more evidence from Mark and Kun, working closely also with forensics and the police.

And that you did. With additional information on Johnny’s side, which helped find the empty puzzle pieces to prove his stepfamily’s guilt, they won the case. Life imprisonment and forced transferring of roles, Mark became the CEO. All those involved in hiding the truth got caught and fired from their positions.

You deserved your influential status, and due to your never-ending service, Doyoung found himself falling in love with you over and over again. Even from far away, you felt his connection and passion.

Currently, you were dealing with five cases, one of them being another request for Kun and Doyoung. It was for the murder of Yuta Nakamoto in the late 40s.

Being a migrant from Japan, numerous Koreans held grudges for their people. He was mistreated and disrespected, even if he had the most caring soul. He even found love, ready to get wed. But one normal evening after his job as a Japanese teacher, he was mobbed by Koreans and heartlessly killed. At first, he wanted vengeance. But after Manwol telling stories of souls burning into ashes when they get revenge, he changed his objective to watch the demise of all his killers, who became very influential people in Korean society.

Representing with you was his former lover, Sooyoung. No matter how many times she tried to appeal to the court in the past, no one paid attention because she was a woman and interracial relationships were taboo. Even if Yuta held a special place in her heart, she eventually got married to another man. In the beginning, she felt guilty, but after Yuta told her in a dream call that she shouldn’t be afraid to open herself up again, she never held back. And as a fellow woman who’s been ostracized, you sided with her.

She may not have her happy ending with Yuta, but it only felt right to avenge his wrongful death.

It’s a tough battle, these murderous men not owning up to their crime, and the public also discriminating the dead man by saying he deserved it. But you knew you could do it, even if it’ll take a while.

Back to the newbie, he was in his early twenties. He went by the name, Jaehyun. Just about to start his life, yet taken away just like that. Aside from being the next bartender, he has another position as the vinyl boy in the music section of the library. It came to Manwol’s attention that he wanted to pursue music when he was alive, listening to vinyl CDs or cassette players and taking singing and piano lessons growing up. While he figured out what he wants to do while moving on, he’d be in charge of organizing and playing music for the souls checked in. Sing even if requested, especially by the women who are charmed by his attractive looks.

He was a literal old soul, jazz being his favorite genre. Most of the time, he played Chet Baker or Frank Sinatra when it’s his shift at the bar. He was known for always showing his best and happy-go-lucky sides to everyone.

It took him a few years to start opening about his life, longer than most souls. But maybe because the trauma of it all stung. One night, when he, Doyoung, and Kun weren’t working, he mixed a few cocktails and completely fell off the radar.

“I was a part of a duo with one of my best friends, Hongseok. It was really fun to perform and make music with him, but then he suddenly got into drugs and had a ton load of groupies. I-I just couldn’t do it anymore with him if he wasn’t going to stop. Once I cut off ties with him, I was signed by a class A producer who loved my compositions. He even got me all sorts of opportunities to perform on TV, and I was so excited for it. But one week until I made my official debut, Hongseok reached out again with apologies, wanting to meet up so we can fix ties. I was hesitant, but I still give him the benefit of the doubt because we go way back….” He confessed, puffing out smoke from his cigarette and putting it down on the ashtray. Before he continued his story, he scoffed with profanities.

“That bitch. I fucking trusted him! I was too good to give him another shot. So after practice, he sent me an address to his apartment or so I thought. We were having drinks, just like old times. But something felt off feel when my mind started feeling hazy and I started coughing continuously because my stomach ached like crazy. He asked me if I was fine, and I told him I was. Then suddenly, baam!” He crashed his hands on the table, shocking the hell out of his two companions.

“Holy fuck, Jaehyun.” Kun cursed under his breath. Doyoung nudged him the shoulder to mind his language.

“The deities are watching you, Kun. Let Jaehyun-ie continue.”

So he did. “There I was, standing beside my dead body while Hongseok rummaged with surgical gloves through my bag to steal my notebook of songs. He planted cocaine on the table where I conversed with him, and also in front of my face. Beside my glass, he laid the vial of poison he used and called the cops. With fake tears, he cried on the phone saying that he came home to my dead body and a suicide note.”

Stillness between the three of them was filled with betrayal and disappointment. For a so-called friend, this must be the worst thing you can do to them. To lessen his suffering, Jaehyun brought back his actively lit cigarette and smoked it until all the tobacco was gone. Exhaling a dark grey smoke, he spat out.

“I-I couldn’t believe it, hyungs. I lost everything after making the wrong decision of seeing him. And now, he signed under that label that found me to “give honor to my talent”. How tragic that I suddenly took my life he’d say, oh bullshit! You took away my life because you were jealous!”

Kun decided to call it a night, requesting Yukhei who’s on duty to take Jaehyun’s upcoming shifts so he could calm down. Escorting his intoxicated figure out so the other guests won’t feel bothered, Doyoung contemplated if he wanted to forward another case to you. You’ve been getting so much workload lately, according to Kun, because your success rate is high and highly in demand.

“What happened to Jaehyun?” Manwol showed up from behind, sitting across him. “Did he finally tell his story?”

Doyoung mildly groaned, devastated by it. “He did, and it breaks my heart. He’s still so young, like me.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Manwol stirred the spare cocktail, ingesting it in one go. “Is it another case worth forwarding to (Y/N)?”

“If it helps Jaehyun move on, possibly. I know it’s hard to find staff these days, Manwol. Also, she’s stacked already. I don’t know if she’ll take it.”

She snickered, patting his shoulder. “You know if it’s from you, it becomes her priority. She loves you that much, you know.”

“I know, but I wish I could help her. In person. I would’ve been a lawyer and taken Jaehyun’s case if I were alive. Murder in the first degree, false reporting to the police, stealing, his persecutor is insane and still walking free.”

The fire of passion in Doyoung wasn’t new to Manwol, nodding as he spoke. He was capable of a lot of things, but the world just wasn’t ready to see it. She was more concerned at how the deities will react when he engages in human affairs again. Even if it helps a lot of ghosts move on, it’s highly discouraged to interfere with the living world. It’ll ruin the entire flow of the world.

Doyoung already knew what he got himself into, but it’s one of the few ways he still feels relevant. Always in service for anyone who needs it, dead or alive. If the deities take him away, it’s no joke that it’ll be a riot in the entire hotel.

“In that case,” Manwol’s piercing eyes scanned right at him, filling up his glass with vodka. Second to Doyoung, she grew a fond liking to Jaehyun. She never knew how much he’s been hiding during his stay. “Forward it no matter what. End his murderer’s career at all costs.”

Doyoung smirked, lifting his glass high to clink with hers then chugging it one go.

“I’ll investigate first with Kun to know more about Jaehyun’s life, then we’ll look for someone who wants to testify for Jaehyun to meet with (Y/N).”

Amid the craze and problems in the hotel, at least Doyoung was at ease with how successful his family. Areum became a well-known author for fairytales, got married, and had 3 kids of her own. She most definitely didn’t live down to Doyoung’s promise.

“Is he a nice guy?” Doyoung inspected the man who married his only daughter. It felt like yesterday they played around in the carnival room.

“He is, Doyoung. Intelligent and caring, nothing to worry about.” You calmed his shaking leg, resting your head on his shoulder while you watch the fireflies from the campfire set prepared by the deities.

“I’m just looking out for her, you know.”

“She most definitely does know, even telling stories about us to her kids. Our grandchildren.”

“It’s hard to believe that we’re technically old when we’re always young in these dreams.”

“Maybe it’s just you being used to your youth. Meanwhile, aging is beating my ass every day.” You joked, covering yourself up in the blanket you shared. Doyoung’s bottom lip jutted out, huffing at your mean comments.

“Yah, you take that back.”

“Make me.” You fired back, riling him up.

Doyoung in the dream attacked you by tickling your sides mercilessly. Your body uncontrollably arched back and forth, falling back to the blanket you sat at. He took the advantage to pin you down, gripping on your arms to the side. With his face near yours, you closed the gap with a cheeky kiss. His touch softened, allowing you to pull him lower by his collar. Your lips molded together in every movement, feeling his tongue lick your lower lip for entrance. You freely gave in, moaning filthily.

“Didn’t even have to test me like that, my love.”

How you wished this was longer, if it weren’t for the fast fading out, and morning has arrived again. A short-lived euphoria, yet it left your panties drenched under the covers. The arousal still ran in your veins.

“Kim Doyoung, you tease.”

Back to your real life, aside from bravely taking on controversial cases, there was a thrill in every case you did and it showed by your fast-paced talking and hand gestures. Whether you won or lost, mostly the former, knowing that you helped someone made your life more meaningful.

He often forgot how you’re a grandmother during your dream calls already as time flows differently within the living and the dead. They were the only way you can be youthful and energetic. But with your actual body, it began to weaken.

Early 1990s

Nature decided to take heavier measures on you physically. On one of the monthly visits to the doctor, she noticed something off with the checkup and tests. Especially in the chest area.

“Ms. (Y/L/N) (Y/N), I’m afraid that you have a growing lump in your breast.”

“Are you saying what I’m thinking?”

“If breast cancer is one of those though, then unfortunately yes.”

Areum was by your side that day, tearing up at her announcement. You, on the other hand, remained still and nodding at the truth. You’ve fought for a lot of things in your life, and you were so determined to beat this one.

Chemotherapy, medications, and scans are tiring and draining, but you managed to live for 2 more years. You’ve fully retired, and now and then, mentor the juniors with their cases. You’ve traveled to as many places as you can before the stages of cancer rose.

In your last months of life, you were bedridden in the most expensive hospital in Seoul, getting visits from Areum with her family, Jungwoo and Taeyong. As the latter served as definite friends to Doyoung, it was only natural to befriend them when they came into your life post-war. They supported Areum in any way they can too. They’ve become a great company in your boring life especially in the hospital. Nowadays, Jungwoo loved sharing stories about his hyper grandchildren, who share similar traits to him, while Taeyong excitedly talked about his recent investment with a promising music company with the dream to debut talented individuals and go international in the long run.

“Mr. Lee Soo Man is dedicated to it! He hopes that next year, all his plans can start and be executed.”

“You’re always investing in start-ups, you know? You think this one will be bigger than the rest?”

“Music is universal, you know. Language barriers may be there, but music brings us together.”

Taeyong was always a delight to catch up with. However, you didn’t expect that conversation would be your last with him. A few days later, he suffered a sudden heart attack and passed. This was a sign that your time was coming. Your body falling more and more feeble every day as the disease fully took you over at night, the monitors always going on a high every so often.

It’s only a matter of time before you leave this life, and looking back, you’ve lived a tough yet productive life. Your daughter was happy and thriving in her career and family. You helped families and couples from their abusive households. You defended those with loved ones who were murdered, robbed, and lied to. You ticked off all you wanted to do beforehand.

Areum made sure to visit that night specifically as soon as she could. With your recent test results have been failing, her gut feeling kept insisting.

It’s a good thing she did.

Meanwhile, it was another day of work for Doyoung, just returning a bunch of books in their respective shelves after some teenagers left on the table. Before that, he bid Taeyong goodbye in the tunnel. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, so he couldn’t miss out on it. He shared any life stories he had with you, updating him about your state. Doyoung knew about it beforehand, and as selfish enough to look forward to it, it pained him to know you’re suffering. He only hoped you could fight through it.

“Doyoung-hyung!” Someone suddenly shouted, but he was shushed by an old lady reading her romance novel, who pointed at the sign that read “Keep quiet in the library”.

Doyoung was also annoyed, instantly nagging on the point person. “Kun! Can you read the sign? Jeez, this isn’t the first time so please-”

“(Y/N) is going off the monitor.” He blurted out. The news from one of the nurses he befriended buzzed through his phone. After finding out about his story, he wanted to help Doyoung especially when he was still alive. Doyoung may a part of the staff, but he’s still a guest. He dropped everything in his hands. Before he could race to the hospital, he changed into a specific outfit for this occasion.

This was it.

Areum was the only one by your side of your hospital bed, weeping due to your weak state. You didn’t want your other family members to witness this crucial moment. It stung that you’ll miss out on the futures of your grandchildren, but you were satisfied to just be a part of their lives. All this machinery trying to sustain your life served its purpose, but the illness you’re fighting was stronger.

“Mom....” Areum sniffled in her handkerchief, holding on to your boney hand. “I’m not ready for you to go.”

“Oh, Areum.” Your thumb caressed her soft palm as reassurance. “You grew up so well. An independent woman you are, you are so loved.”

“Mom, please....” She begged. “I can’t lose you too.”

You will never know how Areum held in her sorrow of not being able to grow up with her father. She hated the feeling of being fully abandoned. She wanted things and people to return to her, but she can’t make that choice. Being by her side all her life, losing you will be the hardest struggle she’ll have to face.

“Areum, you must understand...” You paused as a pang of pain in your chest stabs you. After a minute of enduring it, you continued. “...We are put on this world for a specific time. And if we’re called to leave, we must face it.”

She whimpered whilst holding on to your hand. She really thought you can get through this one like the rest, but your hair has gone, your body lost much weight, and your eyes lost their light.

“Mom, are you happy? You’ve fought through so much to get where you are. I can never do what you did.”

“Y-Yes, I am.” You stuttered, gracing a promising smile. “I had you, our families, and your father watching over me..”

The dreams you get on your birthday were fairytale-like stories that pushed Areum to become an author. She denied how unrealistic and supernatural they were at first. Another trait of Doyoung she got. However, when she noticed how wider your smiles are and energetic you get in the mornings after rather the feeling of distraught, she reckoned to believe they were something special. Despite knowing your love story and its downfall, she felt exhilarated at the things you and her dad did there. In a way, it brings him closer to her. But she still had that void.

“I envy you for that, mom. I wish I met him or at least came to me even if I least expected it!”

Oh, little did she know about that time in the bookstore back in the 70s. It was not coincidental; you and Doyoung planned it very well. You just played along to her complaint, alerted that this wasn’t your story to tell at this time. “Forgive your father just this once, okay? He never wanted this kind of fate for any of us. If one thing stayed constant in those dreams, it’s him always asking how you are doing.”

Her tears become uncontrollable, allowing herself to get puffy eyes and let it all out. “When you see him, please tell him I’m sorry and that I love him no matter.” “Oh, Areum. He knows that, so don’t worry about it.”

The clock was ticking for Areum before she’ll be asked to leave. With you bringing up her father again, she had one last question. Her courage to ask it was so little when she was young in fear you sulk and break down. It hurt her when the bad parts of your past tormented you.

“How much do you miss him?” The question put you in a point of self-reflection. The only person you’ve opened up to talk about him in detail was Areum. Even with your friendships with Taeyong and Jungwoo, there were some things you never disclosed with them. And never did they force you to answer because they can read you on the back of their heads: you’re still heartbroken, yet remained devoted to him.

“I miss him so much that even if this became my fate for accepting his notebook back in our university days, I would foolishly do it all over again. In those times he was no longer with us, it taught me to appreciate what and who we have in our lives because tomorrow is never guaranteed. From his impact, I learned to take care of myself again so I can take better care of you. I’m grateful you were born; he left a piece of him for me.”

“You’ve suffered so much, mom. I hope you can rest peacefully.”

“Thank you for never leaving my side, Areum.” A few tears escaped your eyes, infectious to your daughter’s gloom. “I love you.”

Meanwhile, Doyoung was right outside viewing you and Areum sharing your last conversation and goodbyes. As much as he looked forward to reuniting with you, he didn’t want to leave his only daughter alone. The deities should have shown her more mercy. Still invisible, he observed how Areum trembled when she heavily closed the door of your hospital room. Covering her sobs with her handkerchief, she took one last look through the small glass of the door. You dove into a deep sleep that would then be unawakened.

“I hope your next life is happier than this, mom, and you can cross paths again with dad and grow old with him too.”

Doyoung’s urge to show himself to his daughter to console her was overpowering him, but he restrained himself this time. A few hours later, your consciousness was faltering. Your five senses were losing touch one by one. Important memories of your long life played in your mind. Then your heart gave in and stopped beating. The doctors present there have pronounced you dead. The transition from your body to your soul watching it be covered by a blanket by the nurses was swift yet strange. You didn’t know where to go and what’s next. No book prepared you for this nor can you ask the doctors what to do. Standing there lost with so many questions, it only took someone’s enthusiastic calling for your name to soothe you down.

“(Y/N)!”

It hit you instantaneously that when your day comes, Doyoung would call for your name. Your old age and past illness really affected your memories. He was an honest man and kept to his word this time.

And there he was, just along the hallway.

This was no longer a dream.

This novel kind of exhilaration got you moving your feet, still sore and slow because you were still an old lady.

“Doyoung!”

You shouted back, over and over again before your boney hands slid open the door. At the same time, your old figure drastically and permanently transformed you back to your active twenties. Nothing physically hurt anymore and your energy was on an all-time high. Your room was the last on the floor, a dead end. The left side of the hallway was just a closed window pane.

When you stepped outside and turned to your right, there he properly stood. He wore the same suit and suspenders combination on the day he approached you on your bike. The actual soul of Kim Doyoung who was no longer behind the phone. No matter how many times he’s seen you from afar, it makes him lose his breath from the captivation. For once, he can see you without barriers.

You just realized how you were dressed back into the floral dress on the day you had your first proper conversation. It’s like you’re meeting each other again for the first time. The beeping sounds of the monitors, wheelchairs moving, and chitter-chatter exchanged by doctors went mute. Stunned, you couldn’t stop looking eye to eye at him, cherishing this special moment.

It finally processed to Doyoung that his patience and efforts paid off. In this journey of acceptance, while enduring its trials, it added up to this sweet result to be reunited with you. The adrenaline rush took control of your limbs, legs running to him on the other side.

As his arms widened for a hug, he spun and picked you around in the air. His arms firmly wrap around your waist while your head snuggled on top of his shoulder. You felt safe, warm, and alleviated. Once he put you back down, the overwhelming joy wasn’t keen to pull away from your lover. Doyoung’s lips somehow got closer to yours, your heart skipping beats and his familiar scent intoxicating your thoughts.

With Doyoung still having you wrapped in his arms, he took his awaited chance to close into your parted lips. The fluttering in your stomach was on overdrive, your entire body reacting immediately from his passion. One hand curled into a fist on the hem of his buttoned top while the other rubbed the back of his head. Your legs almost gave in, but with Doyoung’s strength, he held you tight. No previous kiss felt like this. You didn’t have to worry about getting caught by adults for such a provocative display of affection. Your roommate wasn’t going to splash water if she catches you getting frisky on campus. As for Doyoung, he didn’t have to get paranoid about what his classmates would say about their relationship. You were both in your own world for a while.

But wanting to catch a breather from his thrilling dominance, your lips hesitantly moved away first. You took your time to get lost in admiring his features. Wet, swollen lips, flushed cheeks, his dazed eyes, he was irresistible, to say the least.

This was how an almost 50-year build-up would end up to.

“My love, it’s really you,” You finally spoke, caressing your thumb on his flushed cheek. “You’ve been through so much.”

As lovestruck as he is, his pent-up tears streamed down instantly. Except they were tears of joy. All those years he held back.

“I’ve missed you so much, (Y/N). I’m just happy you’re finally here with me.”

He wasn’t joking when he said that the main lobby alone was exquisite after walking through the city. Aside from Kun, that’s where he introduced you to other staff he worked with, such as Jeno, Jaehyun, and the boss herself, Manwol.

“This boy stayed very loyal, you know?” She commended Doyoung. It was a rare thing with her cold-hearted and aggressive personality. “He read to a lot of kids, taught some of them too, and recommended great books for the souls to read. He listened to a lot of souls who wanted justice then forwarded them to you so they can cross the other side.”

An honor to hear from the owner herself, you glanced at Doyoung with so much love. Such a giver than a receiver.

Beside Manwol was someone whom you aspired to meet. Unfortunately, you never met the other boys you’ve helped, so this was a great chance to see at least one before moving on. Hearing about his case and the treachery of it, you made sure to work on it before you retired, eventually passing it on to one of your trusted juniors. So far, his side was winning and that’s all you wanted.

“Jeong Jaehyun.” You held on to his clasped hands as he bowed to you.

“Attorney (Y/L/N). I’m so grateful for what you’re doing for me.”

“Oh, just call me (Y/N). By the way, your side is winning, my dear. Your younger brother Sungchan is committed to clearing up your name, and that evil Hongseok will rot in life imprisonment for his crimes.” You updated him. Without self-restraint, his arms gather you in for a hug. Jaehyun wasn’t much for affection, but this felt like the right circumstance. In return, you hugged him back.

“Thanks to you, Johnny and Yuta are resting in peace.”

“And you are next, Jaehyun. My junior taking your case is topnotch, so you’re bound to get what you truthfully deserve.”

After sharing such a heartfelt moment, you asserted your attention to Jeno. Not going to lie, you’ve looked forward to meeting this boy the most. He was there with Doyoung from the very beginning.

“Doyoung-hyung gets giddy after he makes a call, and tells me everything that you’ve been up to.” Jeno joined in. “He gets grumpy though too, so I like pestering him around to light him up. Oh, I’ll never know what you see in him, (Y/N).”

That gave him a joking slap on the shoulder by Doyoung, signaling to cut it out.

“Hyung!” He fakely cried, hiding his face behind Jaehyun’s shoulder.

You suppressed a laugh, eventually sputtering out like an engine. Doyoung sighed, failing to redeem himself. But it’s alright. A simple peck from you on his cheek got him all flustered.

“Aish, take your romantic shenanigans when you’re in your room, not in my damn lobby.” Manwol cringed, the evident love bug getting on her nerves. “Alright, everyone. Get back to work!”

Checking in your room was an experience. Since you’ve been to numerous places through the dream calls, there was one main thing you’ve missed to do with Doyoung. As soon as he lifted you by your thighs and roughly shoved his tongue down your throat, you were in for a heated evening. This dominant side of Doyoung when it came to sex was completely fresh. After diving into more erotica over time, he learned about visual porn through Johnny and Jeno. You can say that he studied it very well.

“Almost 40 years of waiting, (Y/N).” He trapped you from above, sliding one of his hands to your bare breasts until it landed on your clothed core. Rubbing up and down your clit in a torturously slow place, he smirked at your desperate whines. Your breaths turned heavy, soaked by his actions. “Remember when I told you to brace yourself back then?”

“Shit, Doyoung...”

“Shush love, I’m in control now. So be a good girl for me, alright?” He growled in your ear, sucking on your soft spot on your neck. You obeyed that night, unbuttoning his shirt impatiently only to reveal his toned abdomen then lowering his crotch to give it a tight squeeze.

He hissed against your neck, pushing your panties to the side and sliding in your wetness.

“You are asking for it now, love.”

A steamy night it was, making up for all those lost years.

The following day, the struggle to walk was real. Jeno even pointed out your limping when you were roaming around the library Doyoung worked at. You never had a younger sibling, but he acted like one. So you punched him in the shoulder to shut up. “Jeez, you’re both so physical. Let me live!”

“Jeno, you’re dead. Don’t say nonsensical things.”

You learned how this hotel’s main purpose was to guide and fulfill the last wishes of ghosts in the living world before moving on. When Jeno asked you if you still have unfinished business, you realized that there is one thing left. Even if you completed your bucket list, that one thing is only possible through the hotel. You and Doyoung sat across Manwol, monitoring your shared dream call like she always did.

“Is this really the only thing you want to do here, (Y/N)?” Positively nodding, she gave you the signal to lift up the phone.

Areum found herself in an unfamiliar forest nearby a river during the day. Even she’s always like playing outside with nature in her childhood years, this location didn’t ring a bell. In fact, she was physically back to being that young girl with the same mature mind in this dream.

She wasn’t a vivid dreamer like yourself, forgetting them as so as she woke up. Even in that “dream” with her father, there were so many gaps. So for this one time, she can fully grasp her surroundings. This dream must have a purpose, she wondered.

While she followed the path that the dream assumed for her to take, she then clearly caught a glimpse of a younger you at the end of that path. Running around and laughing in the grass.

“Mom!” She called out, moving at a faster pace. It’s a good thing this dream brought her back her agility.

At the end of the path, it unveiled you lying down on the grass. Wearing in a dainty dress that reminded her of the 50s, there was an unfamiliar young man beside you. His head face planted on the grass because you pushed him off your body when he tried to tickle you.

It turned out that she arrived at your favorite spot with Doyoung. She’s only heard stories of things you’ve done and talked about her, but due to the war, their spot was devastated. Soon after, it turned into a small condominium building overlooking the river.

“Areum!” You squealed cheerfully to hear her much younger voice. She tackled you in a hug, and you still naturally felt it from where you sat.

“My sweet child,” You cooed in her, patting her back. “How are you?”

“It’s been difficult, but I’ll get by in time.” That was the first thing she managed to say, the grief being very much fresh. No mother wants to be separated from her child, and you weren’t exempted. But that is how life works: you come then you go. The truth tends to hurt.

It was obvious to Doyoung that you were still saddened by leaving Areum, taking this opportunity to give you space and finally interact with his daughter. No disguises nor distance. While the most important women in his life are still hugging in the dream, he pulls himself off from the grass and brushes away some leaves from his hair.

“Areum, I see you paid me back by having top-selling books for children.”

Areum peeked from your shoulder to check who the other man was by your side talking to her. Once he was clean from dirt and leaves, there was the only person he resonated with her. From pictures and stories shared by you, the actual man was with her.

Her actual father was in this dream with her.

“Dad!” She abruptly pulled away from you to approach her father for a bigger hug. You don’t blame her for that, she deserved to see her father even for a bit.

Years of having that empty void only for her biological father, she could care less at this very moment

Doyoung has never cried in a dream call with you, however, this long-awaited moment with his daughter resulted in him softly bawling while feeling her hugs from the chair. He’s proud and at peace to move on not just as your lover or a passionate university student, but as a father.

In their moment of content, only there did it make complete sense to Areum at the unusual memory during the ‘70s at the bookstore wasn’t random. It proved that he really did his best to reach out to her in any way he could.

“This whole time, you were the mysterious tokki. I just thought it was a coincidence. I’m so sorry, dad, that I didn’t notice you.” She sulks. Doyoung in the dream pats her back while lovingly rubbing the nape of her head.

“Oh, Areum. Don’t feel bad. I just wanted to see how much my little girl became independent and studious.” He replies, comforting the disheartened child. “I read all the letters you sent me during my birthday. I was touched then and touched now for this moment. I am proud of you, my daughter. And my love for you never changed.”

The affirmation in his words put Areum in a state of joy, rekindling that spark from the 70s. “I love you, dad.”

Your last mission in this world was to have a special outing with your complete family. Regret was always prevalent in the past, wanting to do this and that but never pushed through. But not in this dream. Just the three of you, happy and carefree from it all.

Unfortunately, Manwol just gave a hand signal that your time was almost up. Time flies by so quickly when you’re fully immersed in something you’re enjoying. Doyoung wasn’t capable to bear the bad news, but with you by his side, you helped him.

“Areum, it’s time for us to go.”

Areum sighed, reality seeping back into the situation. One sleep isn’t enough to make up years of loss. However, she still managed to remain positive in those circumstances. “I wish things worked out differently for our family, but who knows what our next lives will take us?”

In an instant, the two of you in the dream gave your daughter a big group hug. One she’s always yearned for. It’s moments like this where you mustn’t take anything for granted with your family.

“I’m happy you’re reunited with each other, mom and dad. Rest well.” She whispers with a smile, feeling fulfilled. She can grace the living world without wondering how things would be like with a complete set of parents anymore. This dream call successfully filled that empty void in her heart.

Once you’ve bid your final farewell and hung up the phone, you and Doyoung can say the same. A little bittersweet, but it lightened all the burdens in your hearts. The both of you can ultimately rest peacefully and move on.

The timing was perfect for Kun to inform you that the car taking you to the bridge leading to the afterlife was ready.

Jeno, Manwol, Kun, and Jaehyun didn’t want to miss out on this moment, waving farewells to you both. This lifetime may have taken you away from each other physically for a long time, but you still held on to each other. Most people gave up, though it’s not wrong either. It’s better to let go rather than holding on sometimes.

But the both of you were different, something, not even the deities didn’t expect. It’s only up to them to decide if they’ll give you another chance to be together and relive a longer life. A very rare sight indeed. To be granted or not, your story set a standard.

That a love so strong is so patient it endured all the challenges and stress.

“On to the next life, Doyoung?” You asked him, leaning against his shoulder as the car drove under the tunnel. All at the end of it was merely a white sky, where a long bridge awaited them.

“Make sure you wait for me this time.”

693 notes · View notes

petersasteria · 3 years

Text

drivers license - Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom x Singer!Reader Requested? Nah 3,561 words

I was going to write this when the song came out, but as you observed, i wasn't writing bc i wasn't happy anymore. but here it is. enjoy.

Tom || Main || Taglist

* * * *

“I want you to meet my friend. She’s super nice and stuff. Maybe she could sing the soundtrack of one of my short films!” Harry said happily. “Anyway, she’s an amazing singer and she’s inviting me to the recording studio tomorrow. Want to come?”

Harry looked at Tom and waited for his response. The eldest Holland brother opened his mouth to say something, but Sam entered the room and interrupted. “Y/N’s my friend first, you know. I introduced her to YOU.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Besides, I suggested for her to invite you guys. Thank me later.”

“Thank you.” Harry mocked. “So, will you come with me-”

“Us.” Sam corrected. “Will you come with US tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll come so both of you can shut up.” Tom laughed before scrolling through his phone again.

Tomorrow came and the three Hollands went to the recording studio where you were currently at. When they got there, you were in the booth recording your song which will be on your first EP. You were just starting in the music industry and you were still testing the waters and finding your sound.

The three men sat down on the couch and listened to you. It was safe to say that Tom immediately fell in love with your voice and he made a mental note to compliment your voice for when you’re done recording. After recording two songs, you were finally taking your break. As soon as you stepped out of the recording booth, Sam ran up to you and engulfed you in a tight hug.

“I missed you! You sounded amazing!” Sam said giddily. He was really happy and really proud of you.

“Thank you!” You said gratefully with a huge smile on your face. Sam was your first ever friend and he was your first audience. Needless to say, his opinions matter to you the most. He was more supportive than your family will ever be.

“I can’t believe my Christine will be doing great things on her own now.” Sam pouted. He called you ‘Christine’ and you earned that nickname because of Phantom of the Opera. You were his Christine and he was your Phantom. It was perfect.

“But I’ll always stay the same, Sam.” You said in pure honesty. You looked over his shoulder and saw two of his brothers.

“Hi, Harry!” You waved, recognizing his curly hair despite only meeting him five times. Harry waved back and that left Tom. He stood up and walked towards you and Sam to formally introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Tom; Sam’s older brother.” He smiled sweetly. He offered his hand for you to shake and you gladly took it and gave it a firm shake.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N.” You smiled before letting go of his hand.

“Your voice is just wow! You have a gift.” Tom complimented which made you shy. “Thank you.” You said sheepishly.

Sam cleared his throat, “So, lunch?”

The four of you had lunch at a small chicken wing restaurant. It was cheap, hidden, and there were only five other customers which was great. You talked about so many things and eventually, Tom asked about your friendship with Sam.

“Wait, how did you and Sam meet?” Tom asked, taking a bite of his chicken wing. You took a sip of your drink and swallowed your food before answering.

“I was homeschooled my whole life and when I told my mum that I wanted to enroll in a random course just to know what it feels like to have classmates, she enrolled me in a culinary course. Let’s just say that I’m surprised that I passed!” You and Sam laughed as you thought about the shit both of you did.

“We sat next to each other and we were cooking partners. She was so awkward!” Sam laughed, wiping a tear that escaped from his eye. “But I’m glad she was put in the seat next to me because if not, I wouldn’t have gotten to know her. I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Same.” You nodded in agreement. “Sam’s my best friend in the whole world and I honestly wouldn’t know what to do without him. He’s my rock.”

Sam turned his head to look at you and smiled, “Same.”

“Ugh, just date already!” Harry said with his mouth full. He even rolled his eyes in the process.

“Ugh, just swallow already!” Sam mocked.

“That’s what she said.” You giggled. The table erupted with laughter and you were happy that you got to meet new people, thanks to Sam.

“I meant his food!” Sam breathed.

“It sounded wrong, though.” Tom chuckled.

“Very.” Harry said with a playful look on his face.

After lunch, Sam told you that they had to go home already. You were visibly upset because you haven’t seen your best friend in such a long time and you had so much fun with his brothers. It’s true what they say; time flies by when you’re having fun.

“I’ll call you tonight.” You told Sam. He nodded and said, “I shall wait for your call, then.” You hugged him and hugged Harry right after.

“It was nice seeing you again, Y/N!” Harry exclaimed before pulling away from the hug. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded, already excited for your next meeting. You turned to hug Tom and not only did he hug you, but he also kissed your cheek which surprised you, Sam and Harry.

“I’d love to hang out with you again.” Tom said after hugging you. “But without these two divs.” He added earning a slap on the arm from each boy.

You quickly glanced at Sam and he just nodded for you to go. With that go signal, you turned to Tom and said, “Okay! I’ll give you my number and just text me later.”

Tom ended up texting you that night and he asked you out on a date. One date turned into two and two dates turned into three until both of you went on so many dates now. Despite the four year age gap, you two seemed to click. You didn’t have a label yet, though.

It all changed one night.

It was midnight and Tom decided that it’ll be fun to go on a spontaneous road trip. He picked you up and now you were on the road going God knows where. It was random, but it was really fun. Your parents were out of town, so you were confident in going with Tom on his road trip.

Both of your windows were down and you put your hand out to feel the wind. It was a great feeling. Tom was looking at you from time to time and he was smiling to himself. He stopped at a red light and you brought your hand back in again despite the fact that there were no cars around.

“I have a question.” Tom said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked before driving again as the light turned green. You were surprised with his question and even more so when he started driving again.

Tom looked at you and saw your shocked face before turning to look at the road again. “I mean, you don’t have to answer now. Like, take your time. I just asked because I really li-”

“Yes.” You finally answered after being silent. He stepped on the brakes in shock and said, “What?”

“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.” You grinned. He chuckled and shook his head in disbelief, “Wow. The most amazing girl in the world is finally my girlfriend. It’s a great day already.”

That day was the start of a new chapter for both of you. Sam and Harry knew it would happen eventually. Harry was really happy, but Sam felt as though he was in between something; he was torn in between something. Little did he know, his hunch was right and he’ll soon find out why.

Tom was a great boyfriend. He made sure to think about your feelings before doing or saying anything, he made sure to include you on things because he knew you didn’t want to feel left out, he made sure to give you space when you would write songs, he picks you up all the time because you don’t know how to drive yet, but he didn’t mind; he loved it. Tom always told you that he loved you, he would send you memes that he knew would make your day, he tells you cheesy pick up lines and he would tell you jokes that catered to your humor which you greatly appreciated. In your eyes, he was perfect; he was your home.

For you, Tom was the one. He was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and he told you the same thing. He said that when the time was right, he would propose and both of you would get married and he would give you the family you always wanted because your family didn’t really care about you and he hated that. You deserved the world and he promised you that both of you would have a family that’s so much different than yours.

Speaking of family, the Hollands loved you. They became your family. You and Nikki would have tea together and just gossip about things. You and Dom would joke around and Paddy would always challenge you in football. Harry just loved your presence and it came to a point where you would be his model whenever he wanted to take pictures. Tom would always whine and ask why Harry never asked him and Harry would say, “You’re the least interesting to look at.”

“Excuse me, what?!” Tom replied, pretending to be hurt. He knew Harry was just joking and quoting Kim Kardashian. “I’m the most handsome guy here.”

“Okay, Shrek.” Harry shrugged and continued taking your pictures.

Regardless of the sinking feeling that he felt, Sam was still happy that you found happiness in dating his brother. He did give you a go signal, after all.

Of course, all good things come to an end. In this case, your end came after dating for two years.

Tom was away filming for yet another movie and something in your gut told you that something was extremely wrong. You weren’t the jealous type, but every time you would FaceTime Tom, everything was off. The vibe was different and you didn’t like it.

The bad feelings you have solidified when it was revealed that Tom was starring in a film with a blonde girl who was the same age as him and she was gorgeous. You always felt that Tom might leave you for her and when you told Tom that, he assured you that nothing was going on and that you were crazy for even thinking about it.

It got to a point where both of you would always argue because of it. It got to a point where both of you avoided each other for a few days until Tom got back. He was outside your house and he texted for you to come and meet him by his car. You did and you didn’t know what to say. It was your first relationship after all.

Tom looked at you with his hands in his pockets, “I don’t think we should go on anymore.”

“What?” You asked, confused.

“We’re done, Y/N. It’s just not working anymore.” Tom explained. “You don’t trust me and we’re always fighting.”

“Wait, we’re not going to talk about this?” You asked him. He just shook his head. “So you’re willing to throw two years down the drain?”

“It’s just two years, Y/N. Get a grip, it’s not a divorce.” Tom huffed. “I have to go.” With that, he got in his car and drove away, leaving you standing there confused and hurt and feeling different kinds of emotions.

You figured that everything was just a nightmare and that when you wake up the next day, everything’s fine. Of course, you were wrong. When you woke up the next day, Tom blocked your number and on social media and it broke your heart. Then when you went on Twitter, Tom Holland was trending because apparently, he’s dating the blonde girl he told you not to worry about. You were still in denial, but when you called Sam, he just told you not to bother his brother.

“It’s true, isn’t it? He left me for her.” You said with a hoarse voice. Sam was silent on the other line. You could only hear his breathing. “Hello?” You called out.

“Y/N, I have to go.” Sam said softly.

You bitterly chuckled, “I lost him and now, I lost you. This is fun.”

“It’s not like that. I just don’t want to get in the middle of-”

“It’s okay, I get it. He’s your brother. Don’t be sorry or anything. Thanks for the years of friendship, Sam. I’ll forever treasure it. Thank you, truly.” You said before hanging up, not waiting for him to respond. Unbeknownst to you, Sam was extremely hurt for being part of the reason why you’re hurting. He removed the phone from his ear and looked at it. Tom cleared his throat causing Sam to look at him.

“Was that Y/N?” Tom asked. Sam nodded. “What did she say? What did you tell her?” Tom asked again.

“I told her not to bother you and just like that, our friendship is over. So, I hope you’re happy.” Sam frowned as tears clouded his vision.

Tom scoffed, “You don’t need her. You have so many friends. Plus, you have me. Anyway, get dressed. We’re going to the pub.” Tom left Sam’s room. Sam sighed and wiped his tears. He felt terrible.

As for you, in the span of twenty-four hours, you lost your best friend and the man you loved most in the whole world.

You’re currently crying tears of joy because your new song played on the radio and it’s your first time hearing it. Your whole team was really proud of you and they were your new friends and family now. Ever since your break up with Tom, they were there for you. They helped you get back on your feet until you were ready to write another song.

The said song is now playing on the radio and is being streamed by millions.

“Congrats, Y/N!” Your manager, Anya, said. “We’re all so proud of you!”

“Thank you.” You sniffed and wiped your tears.

Your song received good reviews and it’s included in Billboard’s Top 100. Every talk show host wanted you on their show for you to perform your hit single. Everyone wanted to talk to you about the song. Anya made it all happen. You were booked left and right and all the blessings were just coming in. You were extremely happy.

On the other hand, Tom knew the song was about him and it annoyed him because everywhere he went, your song was playing. Even Sam plays it a lot. It was clear that Sam missed you, but he made his bed and he has to lay in it.

“Guess what.” Harry said.

“What?” Tom asked.

“Y/N’s nominated for an award and she’s going to the award show you’re going to.” Harry announced which made Tom groan. “Also, people somehow figured out that the song is about you and now they’re assuming things and they want to know the story, especially your side.” Harry added.

“Easy.” Sam piped up. “Just tell them you left her for another girl and you dated the said girl right after you broke up with Y/N.”

“Shut up, Sam.” Tom hissed. Sam looked at Tom with a blank expression and said, “You don’t have the right to be angry after what you did to her.”

“Why are you defending her now? Why not a few months ago when it was still fresh?” Tom retorted.

“Because I didn’t want to get in the middle of your mess and I still care about her. Unlike you, I can’t just throw years of friendship away.” Sam said before leaving the living room.

“Yikes.” Harry said after Sam left. “Anyway, you have to act like it doesn’t bother you, so it’s not an issue.”

The day of the awards show finally came and you were nervous. It was your first time performing for an extremely huge audience and it made you anxious. The red carpet was all a blur and at one point you saw Sam and both of you made eye contact. You gave him a tight-lipped smile and he did the same. What he did still hurts you, but you wanted to let go of that part of your life now.

When it was your time to perform, your phone buzzed and a notification from a number appeared. You have deleted Sam’s contact number, but you memorized his number in case of emergencies.

“Good luck on your performance, my Christine. I’m proud of you.” He wrote.

You smiled a bit before locking your phone and giving it to your manager. Somehow, it was comforting to know that Sam still had your number and that he was still supporting you despite what happened. You walked on stage and began singing your heart out. The crowd loved it and it made you happy.

“She’s so good!” Sam exclaimed as he clapped for you.

“Please, she sounds like the other artists here. She’s not special.” Tom said as he plastered a fake smile on his face. Harry scoffed and said, “Yeah, right. You fell in love with her voice the first time you met her. Don’t lie.”

Tom never responded to that and kept his mouth shut.

An hour later, the category you were nominated for was up and it made you nervous. You believed you weren’t going to win because the other nominees were well known singers. But for some miracle, you won and the camera panned to Tom to see his reaction.

He wore a fake smile as he clapped. It was awkward. It was even more awkward when you walked past him and Sam stood up to grab your hand to say a quick ‘congrats’ which you thanked him for before walking to the stage to accept your first award ever.

“Wow, I can’t believe this. I want to thank my whole team for being so supportive and patient with me!” You smiled as you accepted the award. “Thank you to the amazing fans for their undying love and support. I wouldn’t have done it without you guys.”

“Lastly, I want to thank the guy who inspired the song.” You said as the camera panned to Tom again. “You know who you are and without you, there would be no songs or albums or EPs. You were the soundtrack of my love life and I’m beginning to accept that you’re not that person anymore. Thank you for everything and I hope that with this song, I can finally let go and start fresh.”

“Thank you again!” You said before leaving the stage. The people clapped for you except for Tom who just sat there with an expression no one could read.

You never interacted with Tom or his family the whole night and somehow, you were grateful for that. You never got a text from Sam anymore, but you did get a text from Tom’s new number a few days later asking for you two to meet in the place where you went on the spontaneous road trip to God knows where.

You drove up there with your new car and when you arrived, Tom was already there waiting for you. You parked and got out of the car before walking towards him.

“Hello.” You said, breaking the silence.

“Hi.” He said. “I figured we need to talk for closure.”

“Ahh. Yes, please.” You nodded.

“I don’t know where to start.” Tom admitted.

“Maybe start with the reason why you just left me.” You said bluntly.

“I just didn’t feel the spark anymore, okay? I grew feelings for someone else and I wanted to do it right without cheating, so I broke up with you and-”

“And got together with her the next day.” You finished for him. “Amazing, Tom. Really.” He didn’t say anything else anymore and you nodded and took this as your cue to leave. But before that you called out to him. He turned to look at you and you said, “Just know that I never lacked in our relationship. I’m just sorry that I actually believed that you were the one for me and I’m sorry that I believed what you said. I wish you all the best, Thomas. I do. You’re a great actor and I know your own blessings are still coming in.”

“Thank you.” He said. “You’re a great singer.”

You gave him a small smile and got in your car and drove away. The drive back hits differently because you remembered laughing with Tom as if the road trip happened yesterday, but it didn’t. You shook off the thoughts with a chuckle and just kept driving. You were finally letting go to start a new chapter in your life.

* * * *

who wants to see the soc med of this?

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @cocoamoonmalfoy @thatforgottenangel @parkerpeter24 @turtoix @slutforsr @givebuckyhisplumsnow @buckys-little-hoe @runawayolives @chewymoustachio @hollandsrecs @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @yourstrulyamour @juliediggory @lharrietg @alexx-stancati @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @spideyspeaches @thevelvetseries @buckymylove @quxxnxfhxll @marvelsimps @dreamy-clousds @bora-world @hunnybunimdun @supred12

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow

#tom holland #tom holland one shots #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years

Text

Lending a pair of hands - Harry Styles blurb

alright, im really putting myself out with this, but this blurb is for all my ladies out there with saggy boobs (just like myself!!!) yall, i was DONE reading about having the perfect perky boobs in all the fics. damn that, never had them! i wanna read about all the love saggy boobs deserve, because they truly deserve the same amount as every other kind!!! so yea, i wrote this kind of to myself, but also for anyone else who is in the same shoe, hopefully it’ll make yall feel better or bring a smile to your pretty face!

word count: 1.3k

masterlist

You intently stare down at your cleavage, eyebrows furrowed, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you wait for some kind of magic to happen to your boobs.

If you made a list of your biggest insecurities about yourself, your boobs would definitely be top five, if not top three... or two. They were a decent size, some would even title them as big and you have to admit, they surely could fill up your palm. However, maybe because of genes or because of something else, they were never as perky and tight and round as you always wanted them to be. Hanging lower on your chest than the average, you could definitely say that they were what some might call: saggy.

When you first became sexually active it took you quite some time to get over the taunting thought what your partner might be thinking about them, so most of the times you just kept your bra on when you did the dirty deed. Slowly, but surely you befriended the fact that there’s nothing shameful about them and so many more women have saggy boobs, you are definitely not on your own in the club.

And though you are not fully confident whenever you are topless, and ypu are lucky to have the most supportive boyfriend ever who never fails to praise you and make you feel like a literal goddess, but there are times when you still wish they looked different. Today is one of those days.

You bought yourself a nice dress for the night out with your friends that you’ve been waiting for days, but you made the mistake of not trying it on in the shop, since you were in a rush. But now, as the soft fabric is hugging your curves you can’t take your eyes away from the deep cut it has, both on the front and at the back, making it impossible to put on a bra underneath. The only matter is that the cleavage does not sit well with your breasts, making it very obvious that they are, in fact, not that perky and round.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you try to come up with a solution. Maybe you could tape them? The thought makes you shiver, you’ve watched the video Kim Kardashian posted about how she tapes her boobs and it looked awfully uncomfortable, you’re not sure you want to put yourself through that. You could put on a top underneath the dress so you could also put on a bra, but that would totally ruin the outfit. It’s starting to become clear that you’d have to change into something else.

“Love?” you hear Harry call your name out.

“Bathroom!” you shout back and hear his feet tapping on the hardwood floor before he pokes his head inside, still chewing on the last bite of his dinner.

“What’s the long face fo’?” he asks seeing your judgmental look on your face in the mirror as you are still desperately trying to find a way to wear the dress.

“I really wanted to wear this dress, but I have to change,” you sigh giving up on it. Harry furrows his eyebrows as he walks inside, his full body coming to your view.

“Wha’s wrong with this one?”

You purse your lips and turn to face him, gesturing at your chest as an answer, but he doesn’t seem to get the hint.

“My boobs look awful in it,” you say it out loud, but Harry gives you a look as if you just said that the Earth is flat.

“’M sorry? Wha’s wrong with m’ girls?” he asks, making you laugh at the way he talks about them.

“This cut is not really for my saggy boobs, not without a bra, but there’s no other option, so…” you inform him and simply pull the dress over your head throwing it to the side with the intention of going back to your wardrobe to find something else, but Harry’s hands grab onto your waist and pulls you back, so you’re standing in front of him in only your panties.

He stares down at you and for a moment you think he’s gonna say something, but as his eyes wander down your almost fully naked body, he stays silent.

“Harry, I need to—“ You’re cut off by his lips as he kisses you softly before pulling you to the mirror along with him.

His hands softly move you around so you have your back pressed against his chest, the two of you lock eyes in the mirror. You give him a puzzled look, not entirely sure what’s this all about, but if he is trying to sneak a quick shag before you leave, it’s not gonna happen, because that would definitely make you late.

But it’s not about that. You watch as that little crease between his eyebrows appear when he furrows his eyebrows, eyes glued to your frame in the mirror as he brings his hands up, each of them cupping one breast, and he gently gives them a lift, just holding them in place.

At first you don’t even know what to say, just watch him as he intently stands behind you, hands cupping your breasts, not saying a single word.

“Harry, would you be so kind and tell me what you are doing?” you ask with a soft chuckle, as your boyfriend keeps a straight face, just casually holding your boobs.

“You said there’s no other option, but I think I just figured out one.”

He stays so serious, not even an ounce of joking showing on his face as he says that, hands still steadily holding your breasts, he even gives them a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t think I can go out like this,” you laugh, leaning against his chest, hands coming up to ruffle his curls and it finally breaks his serious expression, a smile tugging on his pink lips. You turn your head so you could meet for a soft kiss.

“I love your boobs,” he mumbles against your lips, placing a few more pecks on them.

“You do?” you ask with a teasing smile.

“Absolutely. They are amazing. And they look great in everything. So wear tha’ dress if y’want!” he encourages you and you can’t stop yourself from smiling.

He has proven it so many times that he truly is the most amazing man you’ve ever met. Day by day, he never fails to make you feel like the only woman on the planet. Well, he has assured you several times that you are the only one for him.

“As much as I love the effort you put into this solution, I still can’t go out like this, and I don’t feel comfortable in the dress either, so I’ll just put on something else.” It’s really not that deep, but you still see the worry in his eyes, so turning around in his arms, you press up against him, capturing his lips in another sweet kiss. “Don’t worry, I love the girls too. Just gonna wear something else.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. But I’ll wear that dress for you some other time, how about that?”

“I’d love that,” he smirks before dipping his head and kissing you one last time before letting go of you.

You head back to the closet, and Harry’s eyes fall on your figure, so you stop and glance back at him, catching him staring at your ass with a cocky grin on his lips. He notices that he’s been caught, but he just licks his lips and tilts his head to the side.

“Or maybe… you don’t even need tha’ dress.”

You leave him without an answer, just wink at him before you disappear in the closet.

#asdfgh did this make sense???#i hope yo #it just felt right #harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n

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127-mile · 3 years

Text

How to find a dead witch.

Pairing: Slytherin!Ten x Slytherin!female reader.

Genre: Hogwarts!au, best friends to lovers | Fluff, angst.

Warnings: A lot of inaccuracy when it comes to the Harry Potter universe, strong language, use of a curse against the reader, light mention of drugs being sold.

Plot: Ten’s mother left one morning. Something that always bothered him. One day, he found a letter. A clue on what could have happened. He needs to find her, he needs to understand, but for that, he has to be expelled from Hogwarts. Enters his best friend, ready to help him: you.

Word count: +13k.

A/N: This is part of the Of witchcraft and wizardry collab hosted by @danishmiilk.

"Are you aware that you are bothering everyone standing like an idiot in the middle of the fucking hallway?" you ask, and Ten looks up from his charms book. "Are you all right? Is someone threatening your life to the point where you actually have to read what is inside this book?" he stays quiet, so you take the opportunity to speak again. "If you need help, please, blink twice."

"Why are you bothering me?" he asks in a sigh, and you tilt your head to the side.

"I would not be talking to you if I had the choice, but you are pissing everyone off, so me talking to you is what is needed to keep you from being punched in the face by Yuta." you answer. "So you should thank me instead of running your dirty snake tongue."

"You think I care about the other students? That's cute." maybe you should let Yuta punch him in the face, he serves it.

"You clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed, so see you later." you turn on your heels, and you head for the Great Hall for breakfast. As usual, the room is noisy, but you do not mind, after almost seven years, you learnt how to block them.

"Where's Ten?" Yangyang asks as you settle down next to him, and you shrug.

"Standing in the middle of the hallway, reading and being a bitch to anyone who apparently dares to talk to him." the young Slytherin chuckles.

"Yeah, sounds like Ten to me." you take a piece of toast, and you barely have time to bite into it when you feel someone sit next to you.

"Sorry." Ten mumbles, and you know it probably hurts him to say this, and that he is only saying it because he does not want to spend the day alone, but it still feels nice to hear him say that.

"You are not, but it's okay. What is wrong with you? Did something happen? Did someone try to lock you in your trunk again?"

"Oh come on, that was one time, and it was a week after being transferred here." the week Ten officially became an Hogwarts student was extremely funny, because the seventh years tried to see if he really belonged with the snakes, and they realized that he did, but only after a week of light and fun torture. Fun for you, definitely not for him.

"Then what happened? You know you can tell me everything, I'm not one to judge." Ten turns his face towards you, and you can't quite describe the emotion on his face. Dumbfounded, maybe?

"You judge everything, and everyone around you! That's why I never tell you anything." well, that hurts, but you do not say it out loud, instead, you sip on your cup of pumpkin juice.

"It's too early to force you to talk with a spell, Ten, so you should do it, and right now." the young man sighs, and you hear a giggle beside you. Yangyang is watching you, and he is having a great time. You do not know why, but the second year took a liking to the both of you, maybe because you have no idea what you are doing, and he can relate? Or because you are actually nice on good days? Eh, you don’t know, and you do not mind one bit, he is cute. And he knows how to sneak into the kitchen to bring snacks.

"I found something strange in my room when I woke up," he starts, and you turn on the wooden bench to face him. "it was a letter I've never seen before." you shrug, it is not unusual to find letters in the morning if one's owl did not have time to bring them mail the day before. "Before you start telling me I am being dramatic, hear me out."

You hate how long he takes to open his mouth again, does he want to create suspense? Because you hate suspense, you do not need it, you need to know, and right now! "This is not just a simple letter, it's..." he takes a deep breath and you have to physically restrain yourself from slapping him. "it's a letter from my mother, she wrote it when she was pregnant with me."

"How is that possible? Didn't you say she left without leaving any of her stuff behind?" he nods.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking! She took absolutely everything that belonged to her, and how come one of the letters ended up in my room, here, in Hogwarts?" this is weird, you think.

"Do you think your father could have sent it to you? Maybe he found it, and thought it could make you happy to have something from her, even if it's just a letter?" he shakes his head, playing with his toast.

"He found a picture of her once, and he immediately threw it in the fireplace, so I don’t think he would have sent it to me."

"Did you read it?" you ask, and he takes the letter our of the charms book he was reading in the hallway earlier. Now you understand that he was reading the letter, not the book. "A few times." he answers, and you look up when you hear noises around you.

"It's time to go to class."

"I don't feel like going." he mumbles, and honestly, you don’t feel like going either, so you look around. You stand up when you find one of the slytherin in your year, and you smile sweetly.

"Hi, could you do me a favor?" you ask, and the young man flushes at the sudden attention.

"Y-yes?"

"Could you tell profession Kim that Ten and I are not feeling well? That we'll catch up on the class tomorrow, please?" he frowns, and you put your hand on his shoulder. "If you do it, and make it believable, of course, I'll go on that library date you asked me for a few months ago."

The way his eyes open wide is funny, but you do not laugh, he is already ready to tell you to fuck off, you don’t need to ruin your chance. "Alright, I'll tell him." you lean in, and you kiss his cheek.

"You are the best, I'll owe you one, I promise." when he starts talking about the date, you turn on your heels to join Ten again.

"Let's go back to the common room." you say, and he does not ask question, he knows better than to do that.

The refreshing smell of mind invades your senses as soon as you step inside the common room, and you smile. You never thought you would feel at home in Hogwarts, but you were wrong, you do feel at home when you are in the common room, when the fire crackles in the fireplace.

You sit on the armchair, and Ten slumps down on the old leather couch, the letter clutched to his chest. "So, tell me about the letter." you say, and he inhales, coughing because of the cloud of dust coming from the couch each time he moves.

"My love," he starts to read out loud. "the nurse told me the baby was a boy, can you imagine? A little boy is growing inside of me, our little boy. I feel sad knowing you will not be there to see him grow as beautiful and as strong as you. To be honest with you, I do not think I will be able to do that either, do not ask me why, I have a bad feeling."

He stops to catch his breath, and you hear how it hitches in his throat. "I wish the situation was different. I wish I was with you. I wish you could see our little boy. I wish so many things, and unfortunately, I know it is impossible. If I ever miss our monthly letter, please, look for me. If I ever miss our monthly letter, it means he did it, he finally acted on his thoughts. Tenderly, your love."

You straighten up on the armchair, eyes narrowed. "What the fuck?" that's not what Ten wanted to hear, but he takes it. This is what he thought after reading it for the first time. "So, if I understand everything corretly, your father is not your father, and your not-so-father could be the reason your mother left?"

"The reason my mother disappeared." Ten corrects, and you hum. That's a lot to take in, and you understand why he was so distraught this morning. You would be too, if you were in his situation. You do not even want to think about how he might feel inside. His head is probably such a mess, a mess you'll never be able to comprehend.

"If your mother disappeared, don't you think your father would have thrown away or burnt every little thing? Finding this letter doesn’t make any sense, maybe she really left, for her safety?" Ten shakes his head, he tried to think about all of the possiblities, but nothing seems plausible.

"If she was scared for her safety, she should have taken me with her!" he exclaims. "This guy she was sending letters to was my biological father, she wanted him to be with us, to see me grow, so if she left, she should have taken me because if she did leave, it was to find him." he stands up, and you follow him around the common room with your eyes.

"Maybe she didn’t have time? Maybe she had to leave suddenly?"

"I don't fucking know!" he yells, and you wince when he throws the letter in the fireplace. The paper turns into ashes right away, and you know he is going to regret this. "I don't fucking care either." he goes up the stairs to his room, mumbling something between clenched teeth, and you feel bad for him, you feel bad because he is your best friend, you are supposed to help him, and yet, you are useless.

You stand up, and you gather the ashes of the letter, and with a quick movement of your wand, the letter is back to what it used to be. Parchment damaged by the years, beautiful handwriting, and so much more to discover.

"Why do you look live you've just seen a ghost?" you ask when Ten enters the common room. "You know Peeves can't actually hurt you, right?" he pushes your legs out of the couch and he sits down, the poor boy looks so lost in his thought, you nudge him hard enough for him to whine and turn his head.

"Peeves is a little shit, I want to kick his poor poltergesist's ass." he mumbles and you chuckle, you want that too. "My wand is acting strange, I almost jinxed myself earlier!" you shake your head.

"What were you trying to jinx, you absolut idiot? You know we can't use jinx in the school!"

"That is not the most important! What is important is that my wand seems to want to run away from me!" you bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.

"Did you take something from Johnny? You know it is bad for your health, the guy doesn’t know what he is doing, or selling for that matter, he just wants some money for Hogsmeade."

"Why are you always jumping to the dumbest conclusions? Oh my god, why am I even friend with you!" he says in the most dramatic way he can musters.

"I am your only friend, so it's not like you have much of a choice here, so suck it up."

"I'm serious, my wand is trying to fucking run away from me!" he takes his wand out of his robe, and he puts it on the coffee table. Right away, the wand falls down to the ground, and you put it on some air flow coming from the frame, but it starts to move farther away from them.

"What the fuck?"

"Are you sure you did not try to piss off Peeves? Maybe he is possessing your wand or some shit!" you do not see any other explanation, to be honest. But can poltergeists even possess wands?

"I didn't do anything! It's just been acting like that ever since I woke up this morning."

"Maybe we should follow it?" you propose, and he things about it.

"We are going to look stupid if we follow a want around, don't you think?" yes, he is not wrong.

"If you hold it, does it try to lead you somewhere? Like push you to walk?" he shrugs but he stands up to grab the wand.

At first, nothing happens, but then, he has the weird impression of being projected towards the frame. "I guess it does." you stand up too, you are not going to let Ten wander in the castle without you. The frame opens, and he keeps walking where the wand is pulling him.

"That's so fucking weird." you whisper, following him closely and he shakes his head.

"Everything been weird ever since I found that letter." yes, the letter. The letter you have been hiding inside of your trunk ever since he tried to burn it, but you do not really think about it, you don’t want to think about the reaction Ten would have if he knew.

"Hey guys, what are you doing?" Yangyang asks, stopping in the middle of the staircase, and you both shrug.

"Following a possessed wand around, nothing crazy." he giggles, but he stops when he sees the wand in Ten's hands move around.

"Can I come? I'm supposed to join Hendery and Dejun in the library to study, but I don't feel like it."

You and Ten share a look, and you both shrug. "Yeah, sure." he squeals with delight at the idea of having a reason to forget about his homework, and he follows you. If he is normally really loud and giggly, this time, he is quite calm, maybe because he understood the tension in between Ten and you. He knowns something is going on.

"What is in this room?" Yangyang asks when you stop in front of a door, and you heave a sigh.

"Nothing. A potion accident happened a few years ago, and it was never used again. Something about fumes they could not get rid of even with magic." if the professors refuse to use this room, this is probably not safe for you to enter.

"Alohomora." you say, your own wand pointed to the lock that opens right away. Well, that was not so hard, which could be dangerous in case wizards would like to hook up somewhere. The room is bathed in sunlight, so it is not hard to see what is inside.

A few tables and chairs are pushed on one side, a weird-looking stain on the ground and on the ceiling, and dust. A lot of dust, to the point whre it becomes hard to breathe inside. "So, what are we looking for?" Yangyang cloes his mouth to avoid swallowing too much dust, and he looks around him. There is nothing out of the ordinary.

You walk in the old classroom, and...oh! "I think that's what we are looking for." from under one of the desks, you pull a letter. You were expecting to see the same pretty handwritting on the old parchment, but no, the writing is more rough, and the ink is bleeding on the paper, maybe from tears, or rain.

"What does it say?" Ten asks, and you did not think he would trust you enough to read a letter that is clearly intented for him before having a loot at it himself.

"Ew!" you almost gag when you see a lock of hair attached to the letter. The hair is black, the same shade of black as Ten's hair used to be before he found the spell to turn it blonde. "That is disgusting, who would attach hair to a fucking letter!"

"I think I know why." Ten says, and he lets himself slide down one of the walls, to the ground and you keep yourself from gaggin again. The floor is dirty to the point where it is impossible to see the color of the carpet underneath. "My mother was a veela."

Yeah, that does not answer your question in the slightest, but he opens his mouth again, so you close yours. "There is a lock of my mother's hair in my wand, just like there is horned serpent horn in your wand, which is why my wand was attracted to this room, because this is a lock of my mother's hair. It needed to find its other half."

That makes a lot of sense, and more than for the wand, or why they are here. That explains why Ten's face looks unreal. "I thought they stopped putting veela's hair in wands because it was unstable?" Yangyang asks, head tilted to the side. His eyes shine with excitement and it is adorable.

"My mother personally asked for it, and paid the price for it to be done."

"Do you think she did it on purpose? For you to have a way to find her when time comes?" he did not think about it this way, but that could be possible.

"Read the letter, maybe we'll know more about it."

"My love, I wish I could ask for this letter to find you in good health, and surrounded by love and happiness, but I know this is not the case, and I am truly sorry. I will keep the lock of your hair like my most precious possession, and use it when you will deem it right. Even though I hope I will never have to use it. My heart hurts just thinking about using it, the possibilities behind the use it will have. Kiss our beautiful boy for me, tell him his father loves him and can't wait to meet him. I love you."

Before Ten can react, Yangyang raises his hand to stop him, and he speaks so quick you have to ask him to repeat more calmly this time. "If Ten's mother gave this man a lock of her hair for you to find the letter with your wand, maybe you could find her with your wand too?"

That's actually a good idea, and it is actually the first time you saw him so serious about something he does not really know anything about, just what he heard today. "And how am I supposed to do that? My mother is not hiding in the castle for all I know!"

"You could wait for the school break, but your father is not going to let you leave the house." you mutter and he nods. You know his father, and he is weirdly protective over his son. There is the regular protective parents, like yours, and then you have Ten's father, and his step-mother. They are protective to the point where it becomes weird, and a tad unhealthy.

"Leave while we are in Hogsmeade this weekend?" Yangyang asks, and you both shake your heads. "Ten's father didn’t sign the papers for him to go to Hogsmeade." the younger wizard gasps, a hand on his mouth.

"What? Why? Man, your father is weird."

"Maybe because he is not my biological father." he has a point.

"Get expelled, like that you can go and look for your mother, or for this guy. Maybe he has another lock of hair, and is waiting for you, who knows!" Ten puts his head in between his hands, and he sighs.

"How the fuck am I supposed to get expelled from Hogwarts of all places?"

"That's not hard, I can help you with that." Yangyang puffs up his chest with pride, and Ten laughs softly. At least he looks like he is relaxing. "No, but for real, the headmistress threatened to kick me out so many times since I arrived in Hogwarts, I'm pretty sure I can help you with that."

"You better not get in trouble because of that. You can't get kicked out, or I'm kicking your ass, alright?" Ten asks, and of course, Yangyang nods. The smile on his face is so bright that you can't help but to smile too. "And you," Ten starts, looking at you. "you are not doing anything stupid, before, or after I'm gone, alright? I can't lose my place in this school, and you."

You laugh, head thrown back. "Bold of you to assume I'm not coming with you."

"You are not coming with me, and that's final!" Ten exclaims as he pushes the door to the great hall open and you heave yet another sigh.

"I do not remember asking for your opinion. I am your best friend, of course I'm coming with you!" you sit down around the table, and Ten takes the spot in front of you. You are far away from the other students to be able to talk freely.

"This is my mother, Y/n, I have to do it alone." you pick an apple, and you shrug.

"I know that, Ten, but you can't do it alone. You will eventually need help. And what are you going to do if you can't find anything? You'll need me to figure things out, so I am coming, and you can't say no."

"A portable swamp!"

Yangyang puts a device on the table, and you jump because you were not expecting anyone to be behind you. "What is that?" Ten asks, at the same time as you. "Where did you get that?" Yangyang flops down on the bench, and there is so much mischief in his eyes that you fear for his answer.

"I bought it in Diagon Alley before the year started, but I never came around to use it, so I thought it would be useful for your little situation." he explains briefly, and you take it in your hand with caution, you do not want to set it up in the middle of the great hall.

"What does it do?"

"Like the name says, it is a portable swamp! Activate it, and it creates a swamp." you don’t even bother asking why he thought it could be a good idea to buy this kind of stuff. You are not even sure it is legal for him to have it here. "Do it in a classroom! I heard it is impossible to clean with magic, so it'll take a while to clean out."

"Do I dare to ask what you were planning on doing with this?" Ten asks, narrowing his eyes and the young wizard shrugs.

"I didn’t have a precise plan, I just thought it could be a good idea to use during class, or to make the library impossible to access for a while. Maybe destroy a couple of my books inside."

"We can try it out." Ten says, and Yangyang is beaming, even though he will not be able to see the damage of his little toy, but it is alright, he knows he'll hear about it.

"If it works well, you can just buy another one next time you'll go to Diagon Alley, you know." so he is talking about a payment, and honestly, that's only fair.

"Will do kid, thank you."

Two hours later, you find yourself in the potions' room, sitting in front of Ten. "Are we really doing this?" you ask Ten above the fumes coming out of the cauldron.

"I guess so?" he is not sure this is worth it, but he has nothing to lose trying. Well, he does have something to lose, his place here at Hogwarts.

"Did Yangyang explain how to use it?"

Ten shakes his head, that's what you thought. So he just drops it to the floor, under the table, and when nothing happens, he kicks it hard enough for the devide to activate. "Oh, shit!" the result is immediate. The floor is flooded with dark and dirty water, mud, grass, and some nasty-looking objects and dead animals. You put your feet on the stool to avoid stepping on it.

"What's that smell?" someone asks, and yes, it does smell strong. It smells like a fucking swamp, and you feel bile going up your throat. Ten is no better, he pinches his nose with his fingers and his eyes are filled with tears. This is absolutely disgusting.

"What happened?" the professor asks when he notices that he is wading in dirty water.

"Uh, I don't know, I think something went wrong with our potion." Ten says sheepishly and you look around. Most of the Slytherin are on the tables, making disgusted noise, but they do not have the reaction you thought they would have, even the teacher seems relaxed.

"I asked for a wound-cleaning potion, not a swamp."

You share a look of disbelief at the reaction. This is not how you are going to get expelled, you think as the professor helps the students out of the classroom one after the other. "It's fine, don’t worry, I'll clean it, I have mastered the spell to clean a swamp. You can all thank mister Lee, because class is over." a few Slytherins pat his back on their way out of the hallway, and he whines high in his throat when you are alone.

"That was a fail. Yangyang is going to be disappointed, we wasted his toy for nothing." you can't get rid of the smell of the swamp, and it look like it clinges to your clothes and you hate it. "I need a shower, I feel dirty, and I'm pretty sure worms are in my shoes." he grimaces at the thought, but he starts to squirm.

"Shut up, I can feel them now!"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" you ask when you step out of the girls' bathroom. Ten is on the floor, back against the wall, and he looks rather annoyed.

"What took you so long? I've been here for thirty minutes!" he stands up, dusting his robe.

"It took me forever to stop smelling that stupid swamp."

"I saw Yangyang, he is disappointed that his toy did not work, or at least did not create chaos like he was expecting, so he is looking for another idea." you fear what he might come up with.

"Do you have an idea on what to do next?"

"He did propose something," Ten starts and you follow him. "he said we should make out after curfew in the quidditch field." you heave a long sigh, why were you expecting a real idea from Yangyang, but he is not wrong. Being outside of the castle after curfew is wrong, and making out with someone when it is forbidden? That could work to give you detention, not to get you expelled.

"That's not extra enough, our asses are just going to stay in detention for the weekend." you mumble, and he agrees but then he turns his head to watch you.

"But you are not saying no to make out with me in the quidditch field?" you push him hard enough for his shoulder to hit the wall and he scowls. "What was that for?"

"I rather drink some of the swamp water than kiss your dirty snake mouth." you answer and he rolls his eyes, but he is smirking like the little shit he is.

"Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night I guess."

Alright, you are not blind, you know Ten is gorgeous and that he has beautiful lips that would be nice to kiss, but still, he is your best friend, and you do not spend hours thinking about how it would feel to kiss him, to run your fingers through his hair. No. Never happened, and will never happen.

"So, what are we doing?"

Getting expelled sounded so easy when Yangyang mentioned it, but now that you are actually trying, it is way harder. Because the professors know you, they know you are not the kind to get in trouble, or to do weird shit, so they always try to find an excuse for your behavior, and each time, you try something else, you slip through the cracks.

A month passed by, and nothing happened.

Ten found a few more letters between his mother and his biological father, but nothing else. He did find a ribbon once, a green one, like the ones she liked to wear in her hair when he was young, but it could have belonged to anyone in the school, but he kept it around his wrist just in case. Even if it is not hers, it gives him something that is not paper to feel closer to his mother.

"We can't go on like this forever." you say, and Ten agrees. It is tiring to come up with plans, and even Yangyang looks even more defeated each day. The poor boy spends more time thinking about ways for you to get expelled than he spends on his own homework, not that he minds, but you do, you do not want him to ruin his year because of you.

"I brought some backup!" Yangyang says, and this time he is not alone, he is with his friends. Haechan, another Slytherin, and Hendery, a Gryffindor.

"Where is Dejun?" you ask, it is rare to see Yangyang without his third friend, and yet.

"He is studying, and he wants nothing to do with what we are doing."

"And you do?" Ten asks Hendery. If Haechan was on board to help them, because he is a sneaky Slytherin, he was not expecting a Gryffindor to help them. Even if friendship is possible between the two houses, there are still some tension remaining between them. And Gryffindors are not the kind to get into trouble, especially for Slytherins.

"Yeah, I'm bored."

"This time, you are sure to get expelled." Yangyang starts to say, in a low voice. He doesn’t want the students around to hear him and if they are outside.

"Then speak, idiot!" Ten exclaims, and you did notice how quick he is to lose his temper lately, but you don’t say anything, you would do the same if you were in a similar situation.

"Calm down, little snake, I'm going to." Ten is close to punch him, you see it, so you grab his hand in yours, and squeeze it gently. "Ten, you'll have to hurt Y/n." you both open your eyes wide, shaking your head.

"What?"

"Hear me out. You don’t have to hurt her badly, just throw a little spell that will send her to the infirmary. You will be expelled right away because it is forbidden to attack another student. But before, you will have to pretend to fight, or the headmistress is not going to believe any of it."

"Yeah, and I'll be stuck in the infirmary while Ten will be outside, that's not what we want." yes, because after some time, Ten accepted that you were coming with him no matter if he wants it or not.

"Yes, but that's when we come. We'll make the infirmary impossible to be used, so they'll have no choice but to send you to St Mungo's because even if it's an innocent spell, they have to get you checked out by a doctor."

"Ten will be back in London in no time, he'll leave his home at night, and he'll go to St Mungo. Of course, he won't be inside, because he'll be suspicious, but you, Y/n, will have to leave during the night to join him, without being caught, and then, you'll be free to go look for your mother."

"That's a good plan." you concede, and Yangyang nods.

"We thought about it for a very long time, and with how much the professors love you both, it is honestly the only way for you to get expelled." you turn to face Ten, and he nods.

"Let's do it, I guess."

The boys high five, and you roll your eyes. "We have to fight now." that's not going to be hard, as you love to bicker for fun, it'll be easily believable. "And you have to help us out," you say to the three boys. "be there when we fight, try to calm things down, try to keep up from jumping at each other's throats, act like we constantly fight even in the common room."

Haechan smiles. "That we can do, trust us."

Ten and you never had any kind of fight, you do bicker but that's about it, but you are surprised to see how easy it is for the both of you to actually fight. Even if it is not real, it comes easy, and it is actually scary.

"You are such a fucking bitch!" Ten yells, and he feels all of the students' eyes on him as soon as he closes his mouth. "You thought I would not find out that you've been playing with me this whole time?" Ten scoffs, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek so as not to laugh.

"I mean, you are kind of slow when it comes to things like that, so yes, that's what I thought." you answer, and you see the way he squeezes his fists. "It was so easy to make you believe everything, that I wonder if you did it on purpose or not."

You lock eyes with Yangyang on the side, and his cheeks are bright red because he is trying so hard not to laugh either. And also because he tries to find a sense of what is happening, and the truth is, you did not rehearse the argument, so there is no sense at all.

"Are you calling me dumb?" Ten asks, and you nod, smiling softly.

"If you have to ask that, then what I'm saying is right!" you throw your head back, and you laugh, which seems to be enough for Ten who takes a few steps forwards.

"You'll see what the dumb wizard is going to do to you!"

That was the less treatening sentence you have ever heard, and yet, Yangyang and Hendery are the firsts to stand up and to block Ten. "What are you doing? Move!" Ten yells, and Yangyang has to make it believable, so he takes a step back, raising his hands.

"Eh, I don't want to do anything, but you do not want to fight with her, come on, that's stupid."

"Stupid, that's also a word that would work well to describe Ten." You say to Hendery who is facing you, you are acting like Ten is not here, can't hear you, and it is almost amusing. You hear a few "ohhh" around, and you know it's coming from your fellow Slytherin.

"I'm going to fucking punch you if you keep talking, you bitch!"

"Go ahead, I can't wait." you answer, and you see him looking inside of his robe, and when he takes his wand out, the laughs stop immediately. "Oh, what are you going to do? Jinx me? Can you even do that?" he raises his wand, but someone stands up, and gets in between the two of you.

Yuta, another Slytherin, faces Ten with a frown. "Come on big boy, you don't want to get in trouble, over a stupid fight with your best friend, don't you?" alright, Ten is ready to do a lot to get expelled, but he does not want to have his ass beaten by someone like Yuta.

"She fucking deserves it!"

"Maybe she does, maybe she does not, who knows. Come on, put that wand down and go take a breather outside." Ten heaves a long sidh, and he puts his wand back into his robe before turning on his heels to leave the great hall.

"Go on, coward!" you say in a loud voice to be sure he hears you even outside of the room.

"Coward, for real?" Yuta asks when he turns to look at you, head cocked to the side.

"I'm just saying the truth, don't blame me." you mumble, and when all of the students start going back to their occupations, you leave the great hall too.

"Don't go bother him right now, I can't protect you everywhere." Yuta says, and you nod.

You are sitting in front of the fireplace when you hear footsteps behind you. "That was a mess." Ten says as he drops down next to you and you chuckle.

"Yeah, maybe we should have rehearsed before or something, because I don't think anyone believed in our little dispute."

"The less sense it makes, the more believable it becomes." he answers, and you roll your eyes, and he puts his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes. "This is tiring." his voice breaks your heart, and you understand even though it must be even more tiring for him. The letters and his mother always on his mind.

"I know it is, but it'll be worth it in the end." you say in a small voice, and the young man straightens up.

"You don't know that, maybe it won't be worth it. What if I don't find her, or my biological father, then it'll be a waste of time, and nothing else." you shake your head, turning to face him.

"We are going to find something, I promise you. We are going to find answers, and we will make everything we did worth it. And then I'll help you come back to school, finish the year and succeed on your exams. I'm here, no matter what happens, we are in this together."

"Do you promise?" he asks, and you tilt your head, confused. "Do you promise to still be there, no matter what happens?" this is the first time you've ever seen him so vulnerable, and it hurts. But it also shows that he trusts you enough to show a side of himself that you did not know existed.

"I promise you, Ten. It's you and me against everyone else."

He does not know why he opens his mouth, and he asks. “Can I kiss you?” when you nod, he leans over and he puts his lips against yours. He did not think before asking, he just felt like it, like he needed it. He half expects you to push him away and laugh at him, but instead, you put your hands on his cheeks, and you kiss him back.

The kiss is gentle, and soft, nothing is rushed and it feels right.

Today is the day.

You and Ten spent the last two weeks constantly fighting. Some fights looked harmless, some looked more dangerous. Every time, a student had to stand in between to keep you from destroying each other. Threats were being throws each time, every time a little bit more serious threats, and jinxes close to being thrown too.

When you are walking around the school, you ignore each other, you throw each other glances that could kill and curse at each other during classes. It is now impossible for anyone to not believe that something is actually going on.

Which means, it is the perfect time to act on your plan.

"Did you think of a spell?" Yangyang asks, trying to keep up with Ten's fast walk.

"Yes, I even practiced to be sure I won't be making a fool of myself. What about the infirmary?" Yangyang's walk is light, and he looks so excited to finally put one of his many tricks into action.

"Do not worry, it'll only take a couple of minutes to make it impossible to enter. But for that, I need you to tell me how long it'll take you to attack her, so we can do it while the nurse is gone."

"I don't know Yangyang, a couple of minutes? Why don't you stay with us, and when I attack her, you can be the one running to get the nurse so you don't have to worry about the timeframe to mess up the room?"

Yangyang's smile is even brighter now. "That's a good idea!"

When he enters the great hall, he is scared. His hands are sweating, and shaking to the point where he wonders if he will be able to use his wand the right way. What if he messes up and send the spell on another student? What if he actually hurts you more than what was intented?

"Wait, wait, wait." he grabs Yangyang's hand, and the boy gasps when he is pulled away from the great hall. "I can't do it. I can't hurt her. What if it goes wrong?"

Yangyang sighs, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It'll not go wrong, and you are not going to hurt her. You like her too much to hurt her, even if you think you are going to mess it up, your heart is not going to let you do it."

"I'm blaming you if something bad happens." he mumbles as he goes back inside the great hall. You stood up when you saw them enter, and you started to wonder if the plan was cancelled when Ten rushed out of the room, but when he comes back, he looks more determined which is pretty scary.

"You bitch, I know you took it!" he suddenly yells, and you try to look annoyed. And you could be if you were really fighting, because his voice can be a tad annoying when he is yelling.

"What are you on about?" he takes a few steps forwards, and you stay still. You are starting to hate the attention the other students are giving you each time to pretend to fight, but you know it is what is needed if you want the headmistress to kick Ten out.

"You know what I'm talking about! You came into my room and you took it! You fucking thief!" you laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Oh, are you talking about that little love letter you got the other day? Are you sad that you don't have it? You can't fall asleep without reading the lies written inside? Poor little wizard."

"That's it, I'm so fucking done with your bullshit." he takes out his wand, and you take yours. You have no idea what is going to hit you, and in a way, you are grateful for that, because if you knew, you would have chickened out or tried to avoid it.

"What are you going to do? You can't even use spells properly in class, and you want to do it here, in front of everyone? Over a fucking love letter? That is pathetic, even from you."

"Flagrante!" he says, and the spell hits you right in the chest. Because of the speed of the spell, you did not have time to think about what the spell was, or what it was going to cause, but you understand pretty quickly.

The wand in your hand starts to burn to the point where you have to drop it to the ground, a sob leaving your lips. "It burns!" you have the imprint of the wand on the palm of your hand, and even thought the wand is on the ground, it keeps fucking burning. Putting your hand in the fireplace would probably feel the same.

But it does not stop here, everything starts to burn. Your clothes feels like they are on fire, and you drop to the ground, peeling your robe off. "Go get the nurse!" someone yells, and of course, Yangyang runs at full speed towards the infirmary.

Ten hates the scene that plays in front of his eyes, he wants to help, but when he tries to take a step towards you, someone stops him. "You are not going anywhere, you have done enough damages!" the voice says through clenched teeth. Yuta. Again.

From where he is standing, he sees tears rolling down your cheeks, and he wishes he never had done this. He could have picked another spell, something better that would have caused a lot less harm. He could have used something to make you fall, or something, but no, he was dumb and picked a fucking burning spell.

A couple of people help you, but you squrim so much on the ground that it is almost impossible for them to ease the pain. But fortunately enough, the nurse arrives and she finds a way to stop the curse to burn you further. "Bring him to the headmistress, this is unacceptable!" she says as she gets out of the great hall with you.

Of course, it is a pleasure for Yuta to force Ten out of the great hall and to the headmistress"s office, and you are sad you will not be able to see what is going on. But that would be useless, and you can't seem to think about anything else than the heat radiating from your body. The burning sensation is mostly gone, and the nurse tries to reassure you, saying you will not have any burn marks, which is good.

But she stops in the middle of her sentence when she sees the door to the infirmary laying on the ground. "On Merlin's beard!" when you look up, your breath hitches in your throat. The room is a mess. The beds are thrown out, the mattresses are ripped open and the floor is filled with...with frogs?

"I can't do my work in these conditions!" she exclaims, helping you against the wall to see if anything can be done, but when she tries to step inside, an invisible barrier keeps her from entering. "That is not good. I can clean, but I can't force a protective barrier. If I catch the rascals who did that!"

"Alright, you still need to be checked out by a doctor, so I'm going to send you to St Mungo, alright?" you do nothing but nod, it is not like you have a say in this. "Come on, just a few more steps and it'll be all over."

You do not know how, but when you open your eyes, you are in a bed, in a white room. You are in St Mungo's hospital. You do not remember how you got here, and when you turn your head, you are surprised to find the nurse sitting on a chair, close to your bed.

"Y/n, welcome back. You passed out, and been asleep for over three hours." you straighten up but wince at the pain. It's not a sharp pain, not even a burning one, but it is uncomfortable, your skin feels tight and still warm to the touch, like a really bad sunburn.

"What happened?" you ask, feigning igorance, and the nurse stands up after checking her watch.

"Mister Lee attacked you with the flagrante spell, which causes objects to burn. Your wand, and your clothes too." you hum, rubbing your eyes with the palm of your hands.

"What happened to him?" she heaves a long sigh.

"I went back to the school while you were asleep, and the headmistress told me she had no choice but to expel him. What he did was wrong, and he could have hurt a lot more people around." you frown.

"Is he going to get in trouble?" she shakes her head, taking her cape from the back of the chair.

"The headmistress knows it is bad to use magic outside of class, especially to attack another student, but she decided to only expel him. It's enough of a punishement."

You try not to look too relaxed, because for a second, you thought he would get in trouble with the ministry of magic or something. "You should rest. The doctor will check on you in the morning, and if you feel better, they'll send you back to Hogwarts. Come see me when you are back, I'll give you something if the pain remains." you nod, and you look the nurse as she leaves the bedroom.

Now, you wait.

When you open your eyes, it is still dark outside, and for a second, you wonder why you woke up. But then, you find the source of the sound coming to your ears.

You turn your head, and you see a paper bird tapping against the glass with its paper snout so you stand up, trying to ignore the soreness in your legs and you walk to the window. You open it as much as you can, and you lean over the edge and smile when you see Ten.

He is not wearing his uniform, but casual clothes, and he looks rather pretty without so much green. He even wears glasses. He can blend in with the crowd without any problem, you think. "I'm coming." you say, and he nods. Fortunately, you are only on the second floor, which means you do not have to yell to be heard, and you do not need to attract the attention of the night nurses.

You uniform is neatly placed on the back of a chair, but you know you will get caught if you wear it outside. You have to find something. You grab the white shirt that you pull over the weird gown you are wearing, and you open the door to look around. The hallway is dark and silent, but you can hear hushed conversation further away.

You take a deep breath, and you get out of the room to walk through the hallway. The tiles are cold under your feet, and you feel a shiver goes up your spine, which only makes the slight pain worse. "Bingo!" you whisper-yell when you find the resting room. Maybe you can find something there.

The door is obviously open, and you stop dead in your tracks when you hear the regular breathing of a sleeping nurse. There is enough light coming in the room for you to see your surroundings, and a bag laying near the bed. You do not have your wand, so you have no choice than to step inside, and tip-toe your way to the bag.

You crouch down, and you open the zipper, tooth after tooth, to make the less noise possible. When it is open, you listen but the nurse is still soundly sleeping. You only need a pants, and you find a pair of sweatpant. You stand up, get rid of the shirt and the gown, and put the clothes back on, leaving the gown inside the bad that you leave open.

Before leaving the room, you grab your pair of shoes that you left by the door, it is ridiculous, but it's better than nothing. All you need right now is to join Ten. And maybe punch him, you have not decided yet.

You don’t know if it's luck, or someone watching over you, but you don’t meet anyone on your way to the hospital's sliding doors. It opens in front of you, and soon enough, you find yourself outside and you almost want to cry when you feel the cold wind against your heated cheeks.

"Y/n!"

You turn and you see him, you see Ten and you walk to him. Before he can open his mouth, you hit his chest multiple times. "What the fuck was that spell? It hurts so bad!" you say, but your voice is way softer than the punches.

"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't think the spell would attack your clothes too, I wouldn't have done it otherwise!"

"I don't like you very much right now, but I have to ask, how did it go with your father?"

Ten pouts, and he grabs your hand to hide behind the building when he hears voices, they can't stay here for too long because they'll go and look for you as soon as they'll notice you are gone. "He is travelling, so my step-mother came. She promised to not tell him before he came back."

"Does she know you left?" he shakes his head, lacing his fingers with yours when you do not do anything to free yourself.

"No, I left as soon as she fell asleep." you hum, yeah, if he can't trust his father, who knows if he should trust his step-mother, she could be involved with his mother's disappearance for all they know.

"We should get going before someone catches us." he finally says, and you nod. You don’t know where you are going but you follow him, you trust him. At least you think you do.

"Do you have an idea of where we are supposed to go?" you ask, and he stops when you are far enough from St Mungo's.

"One of the letters for my biological father had an address on the envelope. The address was illegible, but it was in London." you scoff, and he looks away, the shadow of a smile on his face. "London has what, 9 million inhabitants? Yeah, this is going to be a piece of cake!"

"Don't be like that, at least we know where to look for, and we won't have to apparate." that's true, because you are not experienced enough, and you do not feel like losing a limb. "Do you have your wand with you?" he takes the wand out of the back pocket of his pants.

"Of course, and oh, I got yours from the headmistress office before leaving." he takes the wand out of the other pocket, and you take it.

"You are the best, thank you."

"I know, I know." you nudge him, and he waits for the wand to reacts, but nothing happens.

"It's tired to having to lead you around." you mumbles, and he sighs.

"I've been using it too much, or my mother is not around."

"Tell you what, until we find something concrete, we are going to think positively! Negativity is not going to lead us anywhere." he says something but a car passes and it is impossible for you to hear him, but it must not be important or he would have said it again. "Let's try to walk."

And that's how you find yourself walking around London at 4 in the morning. It is not bad, you think. You have never been in London so late with no one around, not a soul, and not a sound. It is weird, but it's also kind of pleasant.

"How are you feeling?" Ten asks after an hour long of comfortable silence between.

"Tired, hungry, cold." you answer and he chuckles.

"Yeah, I guessed as much, let's stop for a minute." he finds a bench down the street, and you sit down, covering your mouth when you yawn.

Ten take his backpack off, and he takes off a bunch of snacks that he puts on the bench in between them. "I thought about it! I also took some money from my father, so we'll buy some stuff tomorrow when the stores open." what's good about being in London, is that there is no way an amber alert will be broadcasted for either of them, because they'll have to explain that one left an hospital the muggles do not know about, and that the other one left after being expelled from some weird boarding school they never heard of.

You hope so at least.

Even though you should get going before the sun rises, you both need a break. To let your bodies rest, as much as your minds. Because even if you are thinking about Ten's mother, you are also thinking about the consequences of your acts even if you do not voice it. You can't help but to think of the disappointment your parents are going to feel when they learn about everything.

But like you said a few weeks ago, it's Ten and you against everyone else. You promised to be there, and you will keep your promise, no matter what happens. You will become an hermit if your parents decide to disown you.

"People are coming our way, we should get going." you hear Ten whispers close to your ear, and you nod. You stand up, and you help Ten puts everything back in his backpack, and he lets a little scream when he feels the wand move in his hand. "Yes, finally!"

"We must be close." you start walking again, and this time, you don't walk aimlessly, you are leaded somewhere. Hopefully not into a trap, because that would suck.

"If we only find your biological father, do you know what you are going to tell him?"

Ten remains silent for a while, probably thinking about it. "I don't really know, I guess I'll introduce myself, and ask him to tell me everything. Not finding my mother is one thing, but I at least deserve to know the truth. I need to know if I can trust my father or not."

"And what if you can't?"

"I have no idea. It was always my father, my mother and I. I never met any family member, and my grandparents passed away before I was even born, on both sides, so I guess I'll just have to figure out what to do when it happens."

You hum. "You know I'm not leaving you alone after, right? We'll figure things out together."

"Thank you." Ten says softly, and you shake your head, taking his hand in yours.

"You do not have to thank me, that's what friends are for." he stops.

"No, friends don't let themselves be burnt because they want to help someone. Friends help as much as they can, they do not take the risk to see their lives being ruined. You are different."

You do not think you are any different, but if Ten says you are, then you are not going to tell him otherwise. "I want the best for you, that's it." he smiles softly, and you don’t remember the last time you saw him smile so genuinely and it warms your heart. "You have a lifetime to tell me how perfect I am, but now, we have a mission!"

He rolls his eyes, and he starts walking again.

The sun is already high in the sky when the wand stops pulling him into the unknown. "Tired again?" Ten wonders, and you shrug, finally letting go of his hand to look around. You are in a suburb, all of the houses look the same, and an old lady is walking her dog, looking at you suspiciously.

You must be quite the sight.

You, with your white shirt and a pants you stole from her nurse and the face of someone who did not sleep for a week, and Ten who keeps threading his fingers in his hair out of frustration, dark bags under his eyes and a wooden stick in his hand. "Or maybe it's here. Maybe one of these houses belong to one of them."

"Wait here." you say, and you cross the road to the old lady who stops in her track, grabbing her small dog in her arms.

"I don't have anything on me." she says in defense, and you shake your head.

"I am so sorry to bother you, but do you live in this area?" the old lady hesitate but she nods. "Do you happen to know if someone named Lee lives around? A lady in her forties, probably very beautiful, black hair."

Ten told you that when he was born, he took his mother's last name, not his father, and it could be of help right now. The old lady thinks about it. "There is a woman in her forties here with her children and husband, but I am not sure her name is Lee." you hum, maybe it is her, maybe it is not.

"Could you show me which house it is? It would help us greatly."

"Can I ask you why? I don't want to give you her house for you to go and break-in or do something bad!" you shake your head with vigor.

"Do you see my friend over there? We believe this is where his mother lives, unfortunately, his father did not give us a lot of informations, we are just following hints without being sure we are on the right track."

"I see. This is the third house after the one your friend is standing in front. If you do something out of the ordinary, I will remember your faces when the police comes." fair enough.

"Thank you so much, and promise, no funny business."

You run back to Ten who looks at you expectantly. "Come on." you grab his hand and you lead him to the right house. You stop in front of the door, and you turn to face him. "So, I am not sure this is the house, as I only gave the lady what I knew about your mother, but she said it might be here." before Ten can open his mouth, you raise your hand to stop him. "Don't get your hopes up, it might not be the right place, maybe the wand is just tired."

"Let's do it." Ten stands back from the door, so you doubt anyone opening the door would see him. Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see how much his hands are shaking, he is so close to his goal. You take a deep breath, and you knock.

You take a small step back when a dog barks on the other side of the door, and you put a hand on your heart, you were not expecting it. You hear rustling and you hear the lock before the door opens. You choke on your saliva when you meet the woman's eyes. It's like looking at Ten, but older, with long hair and more feminine features.

"Oh my, are you all right darling?" she asks, worried about a complete stranger on the step of her door.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry. This might sound weird, but are you miss Lee?" the lady's eyes open wide, and it looks like she has not heard this name in years.

"Yes, it's me. Who are you?"

"I'm-" what are you supposed to say, especially with Ten not moving a limb to show himself. He is frozen in place, and you can't really blame him. "I'm a friend of your son, Ten." Ten's mother puts a hand over her mouth to muffle a sob, and you honestly want to burry yourself in the ground. Not that you are uncomfortable with burst of emotions, it's just that you do not know what to do.

"We, we found a letter in Hogwarts, and then another one with a lock of your hair. And one thing leading to another, we decided to look for you." you explain, as slowly as you can, and the lady straightens up.

"We?" she asks, and you look to the side, and prompts Ten to move before you force him out of his spot.

"Hey mom." Ten says, now standing beside you.

Ten's mother is quick to pull him against her chest, and he wraps his arms around her. They don't say anything, they just hug and for a second, you wonder if you should turn around. It feels like you are intruding on something that should be private.

"My boy, my sweet boy." she whispers, hands on Ten's cheeks. His cheeks are shining with tears, same as her and you feel relief crash onto you to the point where you could fall to the ground and cry too. Not because you are happy, but because you are exhausted, and that it is finally over.

"Come on in!" she pushes herself from the door, pushing the dog at the same time and she leads you to the living room. There are pictures on the walls, of her, of a man Ten does not recognize, and two children. Ten stops when he sees a photo of him and his mother when he was barely 5 years old.

"You kept them?" he asks.

"Of course! I could never gave gotten rid of the photos, they were the last things I had to remind me of you." you sit down on the sofa and it takes you everything not to close your eyes and let yourself be lulled to sleep. You want to hear the story, you want to know more, then you'll let yourself fall unconscious.

"You must have a lot of questions." she says when she comes back with three cups of tea, and Ten nods. You thank her, letting the warmth of the cup invade your hands.

"But I have one important question, is dad my biological father?"

She shakes her head, yes, he guessed as much. "He is not, and if you read the letters, you probably already knew." Ten stays silent, it is not a surprise to him, but now, he needs to know more.

"When I met your father for the first time, it was through my family. At first, I did not think anything of it, but I quickly understood why they made me become acquainted with him. My family, and his had this sort of pact where they had to marry their first borns."

"So, I had no choice than to accept it, but at that time, I had a boyfriend, we were planning on getting married, but then it happened and I had no choice than to break up with him." Ten frowns, as he sips on his tea. "We found each other again a few years later after the wedding, and I got pregnant."

"Of course, everyone thought it was from your father, but it was not. I had a weak moment when we reunited with your biological father, and you happened. I thought your father would be stupid enough to accept you as his, but he caught one of the letters one day, and oh, all hell broke loose."

"He made it his personal mission to make my life a living hell, that's when I told your biological father that if I ever missed a letter, it was because he did something. But he would not have done it before you were born, because blood is important, and he needed an heir, no matter if it was his blood running in their veins or not."

"After you were born, I did not have time to write, or to read letters, so he thought I had forgotten about him, and stopped trying to contact me, so your father thought I had broken things up and were ready to start being an actual family, that's why I stayed with you most of your childhood."

"And then, as you must have guessed, he found out he was wrong, and threatened me. I had no choice than to leave while he was at work."

Ten shakes his head. "Why didn't you take me?" she sighs, looking at Ten.

"I didn’t have enough time. He would have found us, and merlin knows what he would have done to me, or worse, to you. He did not want or need a wife, but he needed an heir."

"I tried to contact you, but when I received no answer, I understood that your father caught the letters before you did. Then I learned he got remarried, and moved to London. I assumed you transfered to Hogwarts, so that's when I decided to send the letters."

"I could not send them through the regular mail as I was scared your mail would be checked by someone else before being delivered, so I sent them via a magic portal."

Ten would not be surprised to have his mail being checked by someone paid by his father, or by his father himself. As he explained earlier, his father is overprotective, and now, he understand why. He did not want him to find his mother, to know the truth. He wanted Ten to keep believing that she just decided to abandon them.

"It was not my idea at first, but my husband's. He saw how sad I was and he actually found the spell to send the first letter. When he told me about it, I decided to keep going. In a way, that's maybe why I kept all of the letters, and he kept his. Memories, yes, but to find you when the time was right."

"Even though I thought you would wait for the school break to start looking for me." she says, a tad disappointed, and Ten lowers his head, ashamed.

"I knew dad would never let me leave, so I had to act. Maybe it was not a good idea, because I had to get expelled, and she probably will be too, but I didn't have much of a choice. I needed answers."

"How did you leave the castle if you were not expelled?" she asks, looking at you and you do not feel like answer, but Ten does before you.

"I used a spell that would send her to the infirmary, asked friends to make the infirmary useless so she would be sent to St Mungo's, and she left in the middle of the night."

His mother chuckles, but she is also astonished. "You did all that, just to find me?" her voice is small, and vulnerable, and it is like listening to Ten that night, in front of the fireplace, the night you kissed for the first, and last time.

"Of course! I would have done worst if it meant I could find you, or at least finally have answers."

The front door opens in a creak, and you turn your head towards the sound. The woman stands up, and she smiles sweetly before disappearing in the hallway. "Is she how you remember?" you ask Ten in a whisper, and the young man nods.

"Everything is like I remember. Her face, her voice, her smile." you can hear so many emotions in his voice that you have to keep yourself from hugging him.

"Ten, I have someone to introduce you." Ten stands up when a man enters the living room, he is a stranger to him, and yet, he feels something deep within him. "This is Jun, your biological father."

"I am happy to finally meet you, Ten." the man says, and his eyes crinkle when he smiles.

You finally stand up, and you put your hand on Ten's shoulder, whisper into his ear. "You have a lot to catch up on, I'll be outside." he is ready to say no, but you shake your head, they need some alone time together, together, as a family. Or what you hope will become a real family in the future.

"I am listening, what do you have to say?"

The headmistress is short, and rather petite, but she is intimidating. You sink deeper into your seat, and you notice that Ten does the same. "Do you have any idea how scared we were when the nurse did not find you in your bed in the morning?" she asks before you have time to think about what to say. "And you, we received a letter from your step-mother when she could not find you in the morning either. She thought you came back here."

Ten looks over his shoulder, and his mother smiles at him with a nod of her head. It is because of her if you are both here, ready to plead for the school to take you back. Your parents are there too, but you are too scared to look at them, even though you know you won't see anger in their eyes, but rather disappointment. They were scared, that's all.

"First of all, I would like to say that Y/n had nothing to do with this. She wanted to be a good friend, and decided to follow me. I should be the one being blamed, not her." you turn your had, but he does not let you the time to speak. "My mother tried to find me for years, and she finally succeeded this time, without my father being in the way. She wanted me to find her during the school break, but my impatience had the better of me."

"The fights were fake, we just needed a way to be expelled, so we could look for her. Even though I have to admit, the spell I threw was beyond unacceptable, I should have known better, and I will apologize as much as needed for Y/n to forgive me. I understand that what I did is unforgivable, and that I deserve to be expelled, if not for the fight, but for leading Y/n into this."

"You do not have to take me back, it's okay, but you have to take her back. She did not ask for anything, all she did was becoming my friend and now that I think about it, it was a really bad idea to accept her proposition. She wanted to help, and I was desperate." he closes his mouth, and the headmistress hums.

"I would like to say that I left from my own will, Ten did not force me. I made the decision to leave St Mungo's and I should be punished too."

Ten sighs, he doesn’t want you to pay the consequences of his actions but he is not surprised, like you said, you are in this together.

"May I speak?" Ten's mother asks, and the headmistress agrees.

“I am to blamed too. I should have waited for the school year to end to send the letters, I should have found a better way to do it, because my Ten always acted a little reckless even when he was a child, so I should have known he would be looking for me before the school ends. I was desperate to find him, as much as he was to find me to answer the tons of questions he had since he was young.”

The conversation goes on for another hour, and the headmistress dismisses you and Ten in the hallway. She needs to think about it. She, on the other hand, asked the parents to stay in her office.

"What do you think is going to happen?" you ask Ten, sliding down the wall and he shrugs.

"I don't know, but whathever happens, I want you to know that I'll be forever grateful for what you did. I could never have asked for a better person by my side to find my mother." he sits down next to you, and you put your head on his shoulder.

"It was my pleasure."

He kisses your forehead, and you close your eyes. Once again, you have to wait.

And when the door opens on your parents, you stand up, and you are quick to find Ten's hand to squeeze it gently. "So?" he asks, looking at his mother.

"It was hard, but she decided to give you two a second chance. You will have to stay in detention every night until the end of the school year, but you can come back to class tomorrow."

You break into a smile when your parents smile, that's what you needed. You never thought you would be so happy to learn that you will have to go back to class, but here you are.

"Thank you, Y/n, for everything you did for my sweet boy. I owe you a big one." Ten's smile is so bright that you have to look away, but when he takes a step towards you, you have no choice to meet his gaze.

"Thank you." he whispers, cupping your face and he lins in to kiss you sweetly.

It is a simple kiss, but it holds so much. So much words that you probably will never able to say out loud even though you are dying to. Words that could never be strong enough to be said. But it is enough for you, for Ten. It is way more than what you both thought you could ever have. So you kiss him again, and again, ignoring the world around you.

"I love you" you try to say each time your lips press against his.

"I love you too." Ten answers each time he kisses you back.

#nct #nct imagines #nct scenarios #wayv #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #ten imagines #ten scenarios

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christinaroseandrews · 3 years

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In response to this Post:

That’s what I’ve heard! Which is one of the reasons that I’m willing to keep going.

Nalini Singh isn’t a bad author. And tropes aren’t bad. Let me repeat that Tropes aren’t bad. Archetypes aren’t bad. They are tools. It’s all in how they’re used.

My problem, and it is my problem, is that I’m both an editor and have been around for a long ass time. Which means that I’m constantly comparing books I read to other books I read as well as looking at little details.

The first Urban Fantasy I read was probably the Diana Tregarde Series by Mercedes Lackey (The first book came out in 1989). Reading it now, I can see and pin point a lot of things that are now common in Urban Fantasy. The series doesn’t continue past the 3rd book (despite the hint of an arc villain) because the series didn’t sell well. From there, Soon after, I got into the Shadowrun books along with stuff by Neil Gaiman and then Laurel K. Hamilton.

And for all of the crap that people give LKH - most of it deserved - she absolutely changed the face of Urban Fantasy. The first Vampire Hunter Book came out in 1993. She was one of the first to have a long running romance series. She was one of the first to merge vampires, shifters, and other supernaturals in one universe. But even more she popularized it. Made it marketable. Where Mercedes Lackey failed just a few years before (the last book came out in 1991) she succeeded. and it paved the way for Nalini Singh, Ilona Andrews, Kim Harrison, Jim Butcher, and a whole host of others.

To put it in perspective...LKH likely had the story completed in 1990 or 1991 depending on how long finding an agent/publisher took her. Christine Feehan’s Dark series didn’t come out until 1999. And Twilight wasn’t until 2005. Singh’s first Urban Fantasy (which is Psy Changeling) was in 2006 (she’d published contemp romance in 2003). Even Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which people think started this all, isn’t as relevant as people think. The movie came out in 1992 (and bombed) and the TV series wasn’t until 1997. By then LKH had 5 books out. And a lot of authors used her success, and let’s be honest, copied a lot of what she did. Much like what happened post Harry Potter or Twilight...

So this is what I mean when I say that I can see the influences of those who came before her in the work

Note: minor spoilers for all of the series (but since they’ve been out for over a decade I don’t feel too bad)

I’m only looking at the similarities between Diana Tregarde and Anita Blake and Elena Devereaux’s backstories. Notice that other than the appearance, Elena is pretty much in lock step with Blake.

And so when I see this, the editor in me kicks in and goes... hmmm... this is a little too close. Can we change some of this up? Like for instance, Maybe have a happy childhood? Or maybe not reject their innate gifts with problematic results? Because there’s a million and one “The chosen one goes to a special school and confronts an ancient enemy story” it’s all in how the story is told but get too close and people will notice.

And this is just me making a quick list for books that I read over two months ago (or more).

The thing is, you can absolutely love these books. Love them. Treasure them.

But they aren’t perfect.

And that’s okay. I love the problematic as fuck Merry Gentry series. I adore David Eddings. I still like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But I recognize when someone brings up a fault that they do have a point. And they aren’t necessarily wrong. It’s okay to like imperfect things. It’s okay to like things that some people call problematic. But it’s also okay if people don’t love those things. And they don’t have to have a “good” reason.

I don’t hate Singh’s writing. I don’t read whole series by authors whose writing I hate... I literally do not have time for that. But I’m also not going to sugar coat if there’s something I disliked about a book. Or if there was something I didn’t totally love. As evidenced by what’s going on with Lauren Hough on Twitter/Goodreads, a Four star review isn’t bad. It just means it wasn’t perfect in that reviewer’s eyes.

I tend to go into WHY a bit more than some reviewers, But ultimately, I liked the book.

^_^

A long answer but hopefully it makes sense.

#nalini singh #guild hunter #mercedes lackey #diana tregarde #anita blake #laurel k hamilton #long discussion of romance tropes #urban fantasy

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nooneelsecomesclose17 · 3 years

Text

Go to the ends of the earth for you - Part 3

One more part after this...at least that's the plan. Hopefully this week! I decided to fix a bit more of the current Emmerdale that I don't like ;)

(AO3 link)

“What the hell were you thinking?” He barely lets Robert say hello, he’s so angry. It’s taken two days for him to call and he’s been both going out of his mind with worry and angry at him for telling him the wrong date.

“Still mad then.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t be? Why Robert?” He sits at the kitchen table, resting his head on his hand. He’d come to bring his stuff to the house before going out to buy anything else he’d need. The social worker was expected sometime during the week and he wanted everything to be just right.

“Because you couldn’t do anything, and it was Seb’s birthday.”

“That’s not…I wanted to be there. You knew that. You know I hate it when you think you know what’s best for me. You were on your own.”

“You would’ve been too, in the gallery. How would that be any better. This way I knew you were with Seb, you were having fun and so was he. That’s why I did it, and if that’s me knowing what’s best then I’m not sorry.” He was right, he knew that, he couldn’t have done anything from the gallery, but even so he’d wanted to be there, so they could at least see each other.

“I hate you some times.”

“Nah, my charm wins through every time.”

“So you say. Don’t do anything like that again. Promise me, don’t shut me out.”

“I promise.” It’s barely a whisper. “Any regrets?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You don’t have to deal with my family where you are.”

“I should be thankful for small mercies I suppose. I mean it though, do you regret it?”

“No. It’s going to be hard I know, but after this we can be together, a family and then we can go wherever we please with no one looking for us. You can get through this Robert, I know you can.”

“I’m not as strong as you.”

“Yes you are. I know you don’t think it, but you are. You’ve got me through the hardest time in my life, you couldn’t do that if you weren’t strong Robert, and I’m going to be here, I’ll visit every second I can, be by the phone whenever you call.”

“Ok.” He’s quiet and all he can hear is the noise in the background, the everyday sounds of prison and he hates it, hates that Robert’s stuck there and there’s not a thing he can do about it. “I have to go.”

“Yeah. I love you.”

“Love you too.” He can’t let go of the phone even when Robert’s hung up. It was already much harder than he’d expected and it wasn’t even a month without him. He had no idea how he’d last a year.

————

“Well Mr Dingle, this all looks very nice. I see no problems at all and it shouldn’t be long at all before Sebastian can come home.” He’s so nervous he barely hears the social worker speak as she wanders round the house. It’s still so bare looking, aside from some of Seb’s toys left the last time he’d visited.

He’d thought of going to Mill and see if Liv had kept the stuff they’d left behind, but then he reasoned it had been a year, they’d likely have been chucked out long before and as he didn’t want to see her or the house he’d left it. He’d have to go shopping, something else he didn’t look forward to.

“Er, thank you. So, um, do you know how long it might be?”

“Officially a week but I really have no objection at all if he were to stay here from now on.” He wants to laugh with relief. Finally something seemed to be going right. “You have all the childcare arrangements sorted so I see no reason to keep you apart any longer.”

“Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means.”

“Oh I think I do. Anyway, you can expect a call to confirm everything but, enjoy having your son back with you.”

He feels like he’s floating on air as he sees her out, as he walks up to Vic’s and he can’t wait to tell Robert that everything is sorted out. All he has to do now is talk to Seb, to try and explain why he’s going to another new house.

He’s helping Vic in the kitchen when he gets to Keepers and she can immediately tell by the look on his face and he gets a blinding smile in return.

“Dada I’m making cake!”

“I can see. When you’re done can me and you have a little chat?” Seb nods even though Aaron’s not entirely sure he understands but he’s content enough to sit and watch him and Vic for a while.

When they’re finished he sits the little boy on the sofa and he crouches in front of him, Vic’s supportive smile helping him work out exactly what to say.

“So, you know how you’ve been living with Auntie Vic while me and Daddy were away?” He gets a little nod. “Well now we’re back, we thought perhaps you’d like to come and live with me in my new house.”

“And Daddy?”

“Well Daddy has to stay away a little bit longer, but when he comes home then yes. What do you say?”

“I still play with Harry?”

“Yes mate, all the time and you’ll still see Auntie Vic loads and loads.”

“Of course you will, I need my little chef helper don’t I?” Vic sits beside him on the sofa, exchanging a glance with Aaron. Seb seemed to be thinking everything over, and he was a little nervous he was going to say no. “What do you think?”

“And Daddy’s coming?”

“As soon as he can, promise. He calls me too, not for long, but maybe you can talk to him sometimes eh?”

“Ok.”

“Yeah? That’s great.” He looks over to Vic once more, surprised to see her looking a little upset. “Hey mate, why don’t you go upstairs and sort out a few toys to take with us, while I talk to Auntie Vic.” When he’s gone Aaron sits beside her. “Sorry, I’m taking him from you aren’t I?”

“Don’t be silly. I’m just being daft.”

“No you’re not. Do you want to wait, we can leave it a few days.”

“No. He’s yours Aaron, yours and Robert’s. He should be with you. How are you anyway, you never say much.”

“I’m just…getting along, sitting by the phone every night, wondering if we made the right decision. Coming back here, it’s…a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

“Have you spoken to Paddy yet?” He looks at her in surprise, he didn’t know she knew what had happened. “Robert told me, made sure I looked out for you. Told me to do what I could to keep Paddy away. But, maybe you should talk, not to make it all ok again, but to stop yourself feeling like this, like you shouldn’t be here. This is your home Aaron, yours and Robert’s and nobody should make you feel like that.”

“I don’t know. I think he’s avoiding me and I kinda want to keep it that way right now.” She nods but doesn’t look convinced. Anything she’s going to say is cut off by a thump from upstairs. “I think I better get up there in case he’s trying to pack the furniture or something.”

————

It’s his first day back at the garage after taking a couple off to settle Seb in at home, and it’s just him and Cain. He prefers it that way, Cain is just as content as him to work in near silence, unlike Dan who insists on inane chatter all day. With Cain he can just get on with his job and the quicker he does the quicker he can get Seb from Vic’s and take him home.

In the few days he’s been back with him he’s felt lighter than he has since they came back, the little boy managing to lift his mood no matter what. He’s full of questions, about Robert, about where they were and all sorts and Aaron loves telling him everything he can about his Daddy Robert and their house in France.

The shouting makes him stop and look up, seeing Jimmy and Nicola having a full on row in the street. He’d heard rumours that things weren’t good between them but he’d thought it was just that, village gossip.

“What’s going on there?”

“According to Charity, Nicola’s going to hand over half the haulage to her and Jimmy knew nowt about it.”

“What? Why on earth would she do that?”

“Who am I, Pearl?”

“Can I take my break now?” He was worried, about Jimmy, about the business. Robert still had his shares and if things were that bad then he felt he ought to keep an eye on it.

“If all you’re going to do is gossip then you may as well.” He grins as he takes off his overalls, heading in the direction he’d seen Jimmy go. He finds him sitting on a swing in the playground.

“You alright?”

“How did you deal with Robert doing stuff behind your back? When he took no notice of what you said?”

“Shouting mostly. Is this about the haulage firm? Cain told me.”

“Charity of all people! I can’t work with her!”

“You said that about Robert once, remember?” He vividly remembered the ranting in the portacabin when Charity handed her share over. “Is this really about Charity?”

“The police charged me, Juliette is trying to take my son away and all the time Nicola’s going behind my back with Charity!”

“She hasn’t actually signed anything yet has she?”

“No…well I don’t think so but then she doesn’t tell me anything these days.”

“Can you get her to hold off for a couple of days?”

“Why?”

“Because me and Robert would be a better option than Charity.” He hadn’t even given it a thought, but seeing how distressed Jimmy was, the idea had popped into his brain. They had the money, they still had most of the proceeds from the sale of the scrapyard. He’d need to talk to Robert though. “I’m seeing him tomorrow, I could talk to him.”

“You want to buy us out?”

“Well, no. Not completely, but Robert’s still a partner so it makes sense. You wouldn’t have to deal with Charity and to be honest it’d be a bit more income for me and Robert until we know what we’re going to do. It’s up to you.”

“I need to talk to Nico.”

“Of course, and I need to talk to Robert. I’m serious though Jimmy.”

“Well, thanks.”

“You know Nicola and Robert are pretty similar aren’t they? For all I used to be mad at him when he did this kind of thing, it was usually for good reason, for us. Is that the case with Nicola? Does Charity taking over mean you’ll have money to fight for Carl? To get you a decent lawyer?” Jimmy doesn’t say anything but Aaron can tell he’s got through to him. “For everything Robert did, scamming Kim, Joe, hitting Lee, he did it for someone, to protect Vic, to try and get us money for our surrogacy. Not that you shouldn’t be angry, but if it was for good reason then maybe you can find a way to forgive her. The two of you belong together Jimmy, you know that. Don’t throw it all away.”

“I thought we did.”

“Here.” He reaches into his pocket, handing him his house key. “Go to mine, calm down. Stay as long as you like and then go and talk to her. If you need to send the kids over and they can help me keep Seb occupied when I get him from Vic’s. Don’t fight in front of them.”

“You don’t need to do this.”

“It’s what Robert would do and you know it. He’s not here so…” He shrugs, he’s not used to having heart to hearts with people, but he knows Jimmy’s been a good friend to Robert and that he’d want him to help.

“Is he getting on ok…I mean…”

“As well as he can. You know, I think he’d really like to see you, see someone other than me.”

“I doubt that.”

“I’ll ask him tonight and then we can talk tomorrow. If we do this he’ll want to talk to you anyway and he might be more help than me, the business, Carl…the police.”

“You’d give up a visit for me?”

“I’m not saying I won’t miss him, but yeah, if it’ll help. You and Nicola were two of the few people who didn’t treat him differently after…who haven’t tried to tell us what to do. You’re his friend, and if he can help then he’ll want to. Like I say, go back to mine, have a cuppa and calm down. It’ll help.”

Jimmy just nods and he watches him go, staying on the swing for a little bit longer, enjoying the sunshine even if it was still cold.

He’s just about ready to go back to work when he hears footsteps and he sighs when he looks up he finds Paddy standing there.

“I’m busy.” He gets up and starts walking away.

“You don’t look it. I thought you would’ve been over to see us by now.” That makes him stop, turning back and just staring at Paddy.

“You’re joking, right?”

“No. You have a baby sister Aaron.”

“Which no one told me about.”

“We couldn’t just pop in. We didn’t know where you were.”

“I had my phone and when I ditched that Cain knew how to contact us. I text Mum at Christmas and got no reply. You obviously didn’t try that hard.”

“Why do you always have to make things so difficult. You broke your Mum’s heart leaving like that. You’re not a teenager anymore Aaron, running off because you can’t get your own way all the time.”

“My own way? What part of this is me getting my own way? Can you even hear yourself.”

“Aaron…”

“No. You wanted to talk so you’re going to listen. All I wanted was the support of my parents, for them to understand that I couldn’t let my husband go, that it would break me if I did. I thought they would understand that. I can’t believe how wrong I was.”

“Now wait a minute, it wasn’t like that.”

“No? What was it like then? First Mum, using the baby as emotional blackmail to stop me leaving, and you know what I got that, I really did, after everything with Grace I understood. But you, I won’t ever understand what you did.”

“It was for your own good.”

“What was? Locking me in my own home?” Paddy just opens his mouth. “Because it wasn’t just that. That house, that was the one place, the only place I have ever really felt safe. It took me until I was twenty five to have a place where I didn’t have to hide or I didn’t feel like I had to be ready to run, and you know who gave me that? Robert. The man you seem to hate so much. He made me feel safe, he made me a home. You took that and you ruined it.” He starts to walk away but he stops. “And you know what’s worse? According to you, he’s the bad guy. You should look in the mirror.”

This time he does walk away, head down, hands stuffed in his pockets. He waves at Cain, a quick nod of the head in Paddy’s direction tells him everything and Cain nods back. There’s only one thing that will calm him down right now and it’s not work.

“Aaron! Wait. You can’t just walk off like that. You’re not even letting me explain.”

“Because there isn’t anything you can say to make this better. I told you I wouldn’t forgive you but you went ahead anyway. There’s no excuse for locking me in, none at all.” He sighs. “I will always be grateful to you for being there when I came out, when I…” His eyes flick to the garage, memories swirling around, “But that doesn’t give you the excuse to treat me like you did. I’m not that kid anymore. Just stay away from us.”

He doesn’t stop this time, not when he tries to grab his arm, not when he calls his name, he just carries on walking until he reaches Vic’s, letting himself in, resting against the door when he’s closed it, letting the sounds of Seb and Harry playing in the living room calm him down.

————

“You want to buy them out?”

“It was just an idea.”

“Aaron…last week you were talking about moving away.” Robert looks and sounds exhausted and he hates how he’s adding more stress but the more he thinks about it the more the idea is a good one.

“There’s nothing stopping us doing that. You didn’t see him Rob, I’ve never seen Jimmy looking like that, like there was nothing left to hope for. They’re our friends.”

“I know but…”

“I’m still happy to move, but you’re here for months yet, and then on licence so we can’t go anywhere right away. I’m not exactly making fistfuls of money at the garage. This way we get a little more coming in, and when you get out you have a job. That’ll look good for you.”

“Ok. So, say we do this, what if we want to move away in the future, what do we do for money?”

“I’ve been thinking about that too.”

“Of course you have.” There’s something in his voice. “I feel like everything is moving on without me.”

“It’s not, I swear. I’m still here, I’m just waiting for the day you come home you know that, but our friends need our help. Look, just talk to Jimmy, the two of you know more about this than me, but would you really subject them to Charity?” Robert chuckles at that and he takes his hand. “I said he could visit, you can work it all out.”

“You don’t want to visit?”

“No. That’s not what I said. Of course I do, but, and don’t take this the wrong way, but he’s feeling really guilty about Paul, although goodness knows why from what I heard. I just thought that you could probably help him with that more than me.”

“What do you mean?” He frowns at him and pulls his hands away. “Katie?”

“No! I was talking about Max. You told me how guilty you felt, even though there wasn’t anything you could’ve done to get him out. I think Jimmy’s feeling like that. One visit, and you can bet I’ll be counting down the days until the next one.”

“Hmm, ok. You remember me talking about Max?”

“Of course I do.”

“You know, I think he was the first real mate I had in the village, someone I knew I could rely on. We were leaving together. He hated the village as much as I did.”

“Ever wonder what would’ve happened if the crash hadn’t happened, if you’d gone with him? Reckon you would ever have come home?”

“I don’t know. We’d both had enough of our families, maybe if I’d had him I would’ve made different choices…but if I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have met you would I?”

“Nah, we would’ve found each other.”

“Oh God, I go to prison for five minutes and here you are believing in fate. Who are you and what have you done with my husband?”

“Shut up!”

“Right go on then, this grand idea of yours of what we do for money.”

“I’ll sell my half of Mill.”

“What?

“I told you before, it’s not our house anymore. I wouldn’t feel comfortable there any more you know that so it seems stupid to hold onto it.”

“But selling half a house, that’s not easy. Who’s going to buy it? Liv can’t afford it.”

“I don’t know…Cain, maybe Debbie. Even Charity when we do her out of the haulage yard. I honestly don’t care. I’d never take it from Liv but I have no need to hold onto our share if we can use it for something else.”

“She’s going to hate it.”

“Yeah. When she stops avoiding me I’ll try and talk to her, warn her, but the longer I spend in the village, the more I feel like it’s not the right place for us anymore. As soon as we can I want to get out of there.” Robert nods, he knows he feels the same. “But whatever happens, we’ll decide it together. Me and you, no one else, not any more.”

“We’re going to get through this, aren’t we?”

“Course we are.”

#robron fic

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jusvibbbin · 3 years

Text

Darling Duet

Harry Kim x Reader

//My first anonymous request! Enjoy!

Watching Harry play was amazing. The way he sat straight up in his chair. The laser focus he used to read the music on the stand. How his lips clasped the mouthpiece, firm yet soft. You wondered just how soft his lips were. You had admired him from a far for several months now, talking to him on occasion, but never more than a few minutes. To say you were smitten would be an understatement.

(Y/N)! What is wrong with you? Pay attention to the concert!

As Harry finished his concerto, you and the rest of the audience stood and clapped for him. Tom began to hoot and holler much to B’Elanna’s embarrassment as everyone chuckled. Harry took a bow and the after-concert party moved into the mess hall.

The night was marked with toasts and small talk, and though you enjoyed having a night to relax, you were acutely aware of the fluttering in your stomach every time you stole a glance at the ship’s clarinetist. Not to mention the intense heat that lit your face on fire when you caught him looking back at you. After this happened once or twice, the dark haired ensign made his way over to you, accepting praise from everyone as he went.

“Hey, music man! Finally got some time away from your adoring fans?” As soon as you said it, you cringed a bit.

I’ve got to sound ridiculous. Why can’t I just relax?

“Time away? Are you not one of my adoring fans?” Harry asked innocently enough, but the comment caught the attention of Tom, who slowly edged closer to eavesdrop.

You blushed slightly, and feeling a little brave you said, “Of course I am. You could say I’m your biggest fan.”

You’re so dorky but maybe it’s working.

Harry laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Glad to know I have such a sweetheart for a fan.”

You froze. You had no idea what to say. Every time you started to get comfortable talking to Harry, you clammed up. You must’ve turned beet red because Tom swooped in to congratulate Harry and told him the captain wanted to talk to him. Harry waved a small goodbye and you returned his weakly before starting to leave the mess hall with Tom on your heels.

“(Y/N), wait up!” Tom was jogging now to catch up to you as you speed walked to your quarters. As you reached the door, Tom grabbed your arm.

“Hey! What happened to you?”

You pulled your arm away from him gently and sighed.

“Damn… You got it bad huh?” Tom started to chuckle to himself

“Come on, it’s not funny! I don’t know how to act around Harry. He smiles at me and I feel like I’m gonna pass out! How do I get him to realize how I feel if I can’t say anything?” You covered your mouth after you finished your rant and waited for what Tom had to say. He was Harry’s best friend after all.

“I saw the way you looked at him while he played. You were enthralled!” Then Tom’s eyes lit up and he grinned at you.

Uh oh…

“Can you play an instrument?”

You shook your head.

Tom put his hand thoughtfully on his chin and hummed quietly.

“How would you feel about learning one?” he asked excitedly. And you couldn’t help but feel as excited as he looked. Tom suggesting you express yourself through music? It was genius, and very personal to Harry.

But what the hell am I gonna play?

Tom seemed to read your mind as he said, “I’ve heard the flute sounds very good with the clarinet. And I’d be willing to donate my replicator rations to such a noble cause.”

You smiled and shook Tom’s hand. You were going to be a flutist.

Learning the flute proved to be much more difficult than you and Tom first thought. Even with the professional holo-programs and access to extensive databases, you were still having trouble. You decided to turn to the only person that could help you.

“Ah, Ensign (Y/N)! What can I do for you?” the Doctor asked as you walked into sickbay.

“Hi Doc. I was hoping I could call on your expertise as a musician and see if you could help me with some music. I can hold a note, sort of, and my fingering has been getting a lot better but I just can’t seem to get it down.”

As you spoke, the Doctor wasted no time pulling another chair into his office and sitting down across from it.

“I would be delighted to assist you! Finally someone around here appreciates my talents.”

For the next two weeks, you and the Doctor worked tirelessly to get your playing greatly improved. But at the start of your third week, the Doctor surprised you. You walked into sickbay to find none other than Ensign Harry Kim with his ever shiny clarinet.

“So this is your student.” Harry smiled at you and you tried to hide your panic with a little laugh.

“(Y/N), while I am very well equipped to assist you in your music theory, I think that Harry might be a better teacher when it comes to playing. It is true, I am a great musician, but I prefer to sing and I’m positive that your flute would be much improved with his experience playing a more... tangible instrument.”

Oh jeez. There goes my secret plan.

“Shall we get started?” Harry asked as he gestured to the door. You nodded and threw the Doctor a look you knew he wouldn’t understand.

Harry led you down the corridor as you tried to figure out where you were going. He slowed down to walk next to you and looked at your case.

“Flute, huh? I didn’t know you were interested in music.”

“The flute is new but I’ve always wanted to learn something.” You could feel yourself starting to turn a bit flushed.

“That’s great! I hope you don’t mind switching teachers. To be completely honest, I’ve never really taught anyone before.”

“I’m sure you’ll be amazing, Harry.” You said as you smiled at him.

“Thanks (Y/N),” he said gratefully. “Here we are.”

He stopped in front of quarters you had never been to before.

Are we going into his quarters!? I don’t know if I can do this.

As you internally panicked, Harry started to set up chairs and music stands before looking back at you standing in the doorway.

“Uh, (Y/N)? Are you going to come in?”

You pushed down your nerves and stepped inside, the door whooshing shut behind you as you sat down in one of the chairs.

“Alright, now lets see your playing position.”

“(Y/N) that was really good! I’m impressed with how far you come in such a short time!” Harry flashed you an elated smile as you blushed looking down at your flute. Harry was right, you were doing excellent. Once he helped you with your embouchure and taught you how to hold the flute in a relaxed, but proper way, you were playing with ease.

The two of you had also gotten extremely close over the couple of months you had been playing, often getting dinner in the mess hall afterward and talking about what your lives back on Earth had been like. Harry told you about his family and how much he missed them and you told him about missing your own family and the garden you had started working on before getting assigned to Voyager. Other people had noticed how much time you were spending together and you both were often embarrassed when someone asked how long you’d been dating.

As time went on, pushing down your feelings was getting more and more difficult. You were starting to worry if you’d be able to ever tell Harry how you felt. You talked to Tom and he told you to make your move tonight.

“Tonight?” you asked incredulously. “I don’t know if I’m ready!”

Tom rolled his eyes. “You’re never gonna be ready! You just gotta have that quick burst of bravery and be honest!”

You thought about what Tom had said as you walked back to your quarters after lunch. Maybe Tom had a point and you should just do it. But you couldn’t stop wondering if you should wait a little longer.

No… Let’s go for it!

Making up your mind (after going back and forth a bit more), you told Harry to meet you in your quarters once his shift was over. He happily agreed and you went to prepare with the couple hours you had.

The door chimed, signaling your time was up. You sat down in front of your music stand and smoothed out your clothes. Once you were presentable you told the door to let Harry in.

The moment he entered, you began to play your flute. He stood there, caught off guard for a moment, then he slowly sat down on your couch and closed his eyes to listen to you play. After picking up some extra theory lessons with the Doctor, you decided to write Harry a song expressing how deeply you felt about him. As you spent more time together your song had only got more emotional and beautiful. You let the Doctor look at it but refused to play it for anyone but Harry. It was far too special and personal to show to someone else.

You had practiced for about a month now and it sounded good. Sure you stumbled a bit at certain parts and you were feeling a little light-headed, but Harry didn’t seem to care. The look on his face said it all: relaxed, happy and a bit surprised at the impromptu concert.

Once you finished, Harry stood and clapped. You felt your cheeks begin to heat up as he walked over and picked up your piece.

“You wrote this?” he asked, looking at the hand-written notes on the paper. “A bit old-fashioned, isn’t it?”

“It makes it more meaningful I think,” you said quietly.

He eventually stopped looking at the music itself to read the title. ‘A Heart for Harry: One Romantic Movement.’ Harry’s eyes locked with yours and that was enough for you to shoot up and push him quickly out the door. You leaned back against it and took a deep breath. You heard him shift on his feet for a moment or two before his footsteps receded down the corridor. You immediately regretted it.

Why did I do that!?! I have got to be the most awkward person in the galaxy.

You sat on your couch and went over the moment in your head. The way he listened to you play. How impressed he looked when he saw you had written it yourself. His face when he realized the song was for him.

He looked… Confused? Appalled? ...Happy?

You tried to replicate his face in your mind but you had been blinded by your shyness and you had no idea how he really reacted. That was ten times worse than not knowing. You laid down, remaining on the couch, wondering what in the world you were going to do now.

You awoke to your comm badge pinging and you quickly shot up. Were you late for a shift? A quick query to the computer erased that worry from your mind. It was 0100 and you had this particular day off. So who could this be in the middle of the night?

Hesitantly, you answered, “Yes?”

“(Y/N), I’m sorry if I woke you but I need you to meet me in Holodeck One,” Harry’s voice came softly over the comm system. You sat there for a moment before telling him you’d be there in five minutes.

You ordered the computer to turn the lights up in the bathroom, quickly washing your face and fixing your slight bedhead. You squeezed your hands into fists and they felt clammy. You wondered what the hell you were walking into as you left your quarters and headed towards the holodeck.

You got to the doors and as they whooshed open the scent of fresh flowers hit you. You were standing at the entrance to a gorgeous garden, filled with flowers from all over Earth and various other planets. There was a narrow cobblestone path that led deeper into it and you cautiously walked down it. As you went further and further, you began to hear music.

It almost sounds like… my song!

You quickened your pace on the winding path and soon you were in a clearing. And there, in the middle of it, was Harry Kim and his clarinet, playing a spectacular harmony to your song. You stood there as he reached the finale and he let the last note hang in the air for a few moments before putting his instrument down.

Harry walked over to you, gingerly grabbing your face and kissing you. It was gentle, and his lips were softer than you imagined. But there was a passion behind it too, as one hand dropped to your waist and another went to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss before he pulled away. You stood there panting slightly, with your hands resting on his chest and his eyes looking sweetly into yours.

“You don’t ever have to be nervous or embarrassed around me. I feel the same way about you, I have for a while.”

You had barely recovered from the kiss before his confession took you by surprise. Harry Kim had liked you the whole time and you had no idea? You started to laugh and he joined you, never once letting go of you.

“Computer, add a flute, a chair and a music stand,” Harry said. As the computer materialized these things, he led you to the chair and you sat down to play your song together. A sweet duet to start off a budding romance.

#star trek #star trek voyager #st voyager #harry kim #harry kim x reader #oneshot #request

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r1ntaros · 4 years

Text

falling // jeong yunho

SYNOPSIS: After experiencing countless messy break ups, Yunho can't seem to find himself to love and to be loved once again. Not until he met y/n who’s as broken as him. Sharing their stories, Yunho found out that they’re almost the same but their difference is Yunho can help himself be whole again after being shattered into pieces. But y/n? Well, maybe God has plans as to why they met each other.

PAIRING: Yunho x fem!reader

GENRE: fluff, angst

WORD COUNT: 4.5k

SONG RECOMMENDATION: falling by harry styles

WARNINGS: mentions of drinking, cheating, cursing, verbal fighting, emotional breakdowns, toxic relationships, self doubts, unhealthy way of coping up with heartbreaks

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! This is my first work for the tag, hehe. I also have another work drafted but it's quite long so I decided to post a /shorter/ one first to test the waters since I'm too shy sharing my works because I know I'm not that great of a writer ssjdjsjk. Some character names are also made by me and doesn't exist in real life. I'm so sorry for grammatical errors as well! English is not my first language >.< Feedbacks are welcome and accepted, enjoy!

Masterlist

Silently sitting at the couch of a friend’s party, Yunho chugged down his 3rd bottle of beer for the night. Just today, his fourth girlfriend decided to break up with him through text, saying their usual “it’s not you, it’s me” line that he is tired of hearing.

As much as it’s supposed to sound reassuring, he can’t help but think that maybe there really is something wrong with him as a boyfriend. Does he not spare them enough time and attention? Does he spend way too much time with his friends? Does he always stay up late all the damn time, playing his god forsaken video games and occasionally forgetting to text his past significant others back unintentionally?

He really can’t answer his own questions but he knows.. he fucking knows that he’s nothing but a good, loyal boyfriend to those who he used to date. But why do they always leave him?

He felt someone nudged on his knee, cutting him off of his thoughts. Looking at that person, he saw Mingi with eyes full of concern. “Dude, we’ve been looking for you for the past five minutes already then I see you sitting on the couch, glaring at everyone. What’s wrong?”

San was the first one to notice their arrival and smiled the brightest smile he can muster while clapping his hands. He looks like he’s not yet drunk.

“There’s our Yunho!” He exclaimed which gained the others attention, some even greeting him with enthusiasm as they went back to playing. He silently sat beside Wooyoung who looked at him full of curiosity. Usually when they party, he’s one of those causing chaos but due to how he’s acting now, Wooyoung must’ve sensed that there’s something wrong.

He put his arm over Yunho’s shoulder and shook him slightly, “What’s bothering you, bud?”

That single, simple sentence seems to break all the emotions and questions that Yunho’s been keeping to himself as he felt his eyes get teary and he asked, “Is there something wrong with me?”

The chaos surrounding him suddenly became calm as the rest of his friends circled him. No one spoke and the silence was unbearable until Hongjoong decided to break it.

“Yunho, what happened?”

He took a deep shaky breath, “Eunhae broke up with me.”

A scoff was heard and everyone looked at Yeosang, “See what I told you? This is what you get for not listening, Yunho.” He said as Yunho stared at him with a hardened expression.

Hongjoong, who’s trying to do damage control, decided to peel Yeosang away from their circle but the younger broke free, “Yeosang, now’s not the time–”

“Now’s not the time to what, Hongjoong?” Yeosang spit out with so much hatred, making Hongjoong look away. The younger man proceeds to walk and stand in front of Yunho, gripping both of his arms tightly, “Jeong Yunho, what did I tell you? She’s not good for you, she’s–”

“Gonna break your heart and leave you broken like the rest of them did. I know, Yeosang. I know.” Yunho cut him off, voice full of regret, “I should’ve listened to you.” He said, this time, with a small voice.

Yeosang just rolled his eyes and pulled Yunho in a hug with his head on his chest, steadied by the smaller’s hand. The action caught him off guard and all of a sudden, the only thing he could feel and hear is his sobs breaking free from his mouth, tears falling down from his eyes as his body trembles in brokenness.

The whole pool house was silent and the only thing that’s audible is the ongoing party happening outside. His friends let him cry until he’s too tired and broken to let anything out. Wiping his eyes, he giggled tiredly, “I’m a fucking fool. I don’t want to love anymore. I just want to be loved the way I deserve.”

No one spoke but his friends’ hearts broke at what he said. Yunho is loved by everyone but he’s just too engrossed in giving away his heart to someone that he didn’t notice it.

Wooyoung removed the hair from his eyes and whispered, “Let’s get you home, buddy, so you can rest. You consumed enough alcohol.”

“I’m not fucking drunk, I want to drink more!” He tries to argue, making Seonghwa speak up, “You may not be drunk but you’re tired and have alcohol in your system. That’s not healthy. You know that drinking is not the healthiest way to cope up with heartbreak, Yunho.”

“Let me be!” He shouted as he tried to pry off Wooyoung’s grasp on him as he tried to stand up to get more alcohol.

“No I won’t let you be!” Seonghwa argued back, pushing him down to where he’s seated, the tension coming back again, “You’re broken enough and if you drink more you’ll be nothing but an unrepairable mess and I don’t want that. We don’t want that to happen.”

Sinking the older’s words in, Yunho has no choice but to agree. Seonghwa’s right, damn, he is always right. He decided to silently follow Wooyoung to his car and the drive back home was silent. No one spoke until they arrived at his condominium.

“Take care of yourself, Yunho.” Wooyoung said, “We care for you. We love you, always remember that. I know it’s tiring but we’re always here to help you be whole again.” After saying those words, he decided to drive away and go back to Jongho’s house.

Entering his apartment, he didn’t bother to turn on the lights and decided to do his night routine and lay down in his bed as he looked at the view of the city on his window, thinking about Wooyoung’s words. It helped bring a slight smile on his face as he decided to let himself slip off to dreamland.

—

The next day, Yunho decided to visit his favorite coffee shop to grab his usual favorite treats for the morning to start it well instead of moping around because he got his heart broken.

Arriving at the cafe, he was greeted by the Mrs. Kim, the lady who owns and baked the treats in this coffee shop, “Good morning sweetheart! Do you want the usual?”

“Good morning Mrs. Kim! I think I’ll grab a hot chocolate instead of cold, this time.” He replied with a kind smile as he watched Mrs. Kim fusses over the cashier (who’s her daughter) to punch his orders. Haru smiled at him when she gave him his receipt but leaned forward, gesturing Yunho to do the same.

“You see that girl over there?” She asked, pointing at the girl in the corner, “She entered earlier looking sad and all. You think you can cheer her up?”

Yunho rolled his eyes, “I’m not a clown, Haru. Also, I can’t even bring myself to cheer up when I just went through a break up myself.”

Haru was taken aback by his response then she rolled her eyes, “But you don’t look broken unlike her! You look completely fine.” She pouted and gestured to the girl again, “She looked like she’ll pass out due to sadness.”

Yunho just let out a sigh, “What do I get in return?”

“Two extra cinnamon rolls under my tab.” She said and winked at him. Yunho held his hand out and she took it to seal their deal. “Good luck, Yunho!” She singsongs and Yunho just rolled his eyes.

Approaching her table, Yunho decided to tap the girl on her shoulder and she thankfully looked up but didn’t speak. The curiosity in her eyes though, was enough to voice out her question of “who are you and what are you doing here?”

Scratching the back of his head, Yunho smiled shyly, “Hi, I’m uh, Yunho. I’m alone and have no company. Is there anyone seated there?” He asked, pointing at the empty seat in front of her.

“There used to be someone seated here but they left me.” She said in a quiet voice enough for Yunho to hear but didn’t comment on it then she proceeded to answer him while shaking her head, “No one’s seated there.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I.. sit here?” He asked cautiously, “But it’s okay if you don’t want me too! I’ll just look for an empty space.”

Y/n decided to look around and noticed that the coffee shop is a bit packed. Feeling guilt immediately eating her up just in case she rejects him, she answered, “You can sit here, it’s okay.”

Without saying any more words, Yunho sat down in front of her. They were silent for a while until Yunho spoke up, “You know, me and my friend noticed that you’re actually not well.”

“Your friend?” She asked, thinking if this guy was playing with her, that he’s with someone else even if he told her no, just like what he did with her. “You’re with someone yet you told me that–”

Her sentence was cut off by a giggle from Yunho, “The cashier is the friend I’m talking about.” He clarified and she can feel the heat of shame spreading through her cheeks.

And after that, silence was there again.

No one really spoke until Yunho’s order arrived. He was munching happily on his cinnamon roll and took a sip of his hot.. coffee? Chocolate? When he looked at her and said, “You know I heard you when you said that there’s someone seated here before. Where are they?”

Y/n looked at him with an unpredictable look and that’s when Yunho realized that it must be a sensitive topic. Immediately waving his hands that are holding the utensils, he added, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it! I’m just a mere stranger, I know.”

The look of panic on his face made y/n smile a bit as he resembled a puppy that got caught doing something wrong. She picked on the loose thread of her sweater when she decided to speak up, “You know, it’s my dream to rant to a stranger because I’m certain that we won’t meet again and I think that time is now, though I’m not sure about the not meeting you again part. I’m y/n, by the way.”

A soft smile flashed through Yunho’s features as he understood what she meant, “You can speak whenever you’re ready.”

She let out a deep sigh and started, “You know the feeling when someone you gave your all just decided to fuck you up emotionally?” She asked and laughed humorlessly, “That’s what he did to me. I won’t be saying his name, I hope you don’t mind.” She added as she wiped her tired-looking eyes.

Yunho nodded silently and gestured to her to continue, “I’ve been living with my boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend for six months now. We’ve been together for a year and a half after I met him at my best friend’s party. We were happy, really. After dating each other for a year, he decided to move in at my apartment unit.”

“The first three months were full of legitimate happiness. There were times where we just laze around, play with each other and sometimes do some random things. I thought it’ll stay that way but I was wrong. Somewhere around April, he started to be distant towards me. I was trying to reach him out but he just kept on pushing me away.” She paused for a while and wiped the tear that fell from her eye.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, she continued, “I thought he was just stressed with college and all but no. Somewhere mid-April, I was waiting for him to come home late at night then he went home drunk. Really really drunk. We had our fair share of parties but that’s the first time I saw him like that and he didn’t tell me that he’s going to a party as well. I mean, I wouldn’t stop him but asking for permission could’ve been nice.”

“We started screaming at each other that time and it was the first ever huge fight we had. He left my apartment that very same day and I don’t know where he went. He went home in the morning and apologized to me then of course I accepted it. Those things just continued until recently, he said something that I really won’t forget which is also the very same reason why I broke up with him.”

“He was drunk that time again when he shamelessly and proudly confessed to me that he’s been seeing my best friend and that she’s the better girlfriend than me. I mean, I’m okay with breaking up with a lying, cheating asshole but my problem is I gave up everything for him. He’s my first love and she’s my only friend who didn’t leave my side. Now I have no idea on how to bring back my life from before.” Tears were now falling down her face nonstop as she tried to wipe it off her face but the waterfall from her eyes showed no sign of stopping. Yunho frantically pulled his handkerchief on his pocket and offered it to her which she gladly accepted.

“We’re stopping here, okay? I don’t want you to faint due to crying.” Yunho said as he fidgeted with his fingers and she sobbed quietly. This girl is the same as him. Broken, left alone, not appreciated. But their difference is that he has everything she doesn’t have and can do anything she can’t. He has friends to help him fix himself and welcome him with open arms when he’s too overwhelmed with sadness and that made him realize of how fucking lucky he is.

Until now here he is, conversing with a very broken girl and thinking of a crazy thing that he never thought he’ll be doing.

Silently grabbing y/n’s trembling hands into his he smiled, “Let me help you.”

She was taken aback by what he said and before she can react, Yunho explained his intentions, “We’re both broken, my girlfriend just broke up with me yesterday but that doesn’t fucking matter. Between the two of us, I can completely keep myself going. I still have friends who can help me when I’m in my most vulnerable state but you.. your only friend betrayed you and I just realized that maybe this is the time someone needs me.”

Too stunned to speak, y/n just clasped Yunho’s hands tighter, “Yunho..”

“Y/n, you don't have to say anything but please reconsider my intention. I want to help you.”

A set of fresh tears fell down from her eyes as she looked at him. This time, with a smile. The most beautiful smile that Yunho has ever seen because no smile can be compared to a smile of a broken one.

“Thank you, Yunho.” She said in a whisper but enough for the both of them to hear.

He softly patted her hand and answered in return, “Now’s not the time to say that. Thank me when you’re whole and fixed again. Deal?”

A laugh bubbled out of y/n as she agreed, “Deal.”

Six months later…

Laying down on his bed with his eyes closed, Yunho couldn’t help but think through the sudden turn of events in his life. His mind immediately flew through the memory of the day he first met y/n.

Weeks after their encounter, it was quite hard to reach out to her despite knowing her side of the story. They agreed to meet everyday at the same spot in the same cafe and just talk about their own feelings. Y/n had a hard time letting her emotions out during those times as she really won’t be able to speak without crying and Yunho has to offer his handkerchief all the time since she always seems to forget to bring hers all the time.

Right after that, a month passed by quickly and she started to smile and laugh more. She also met the boys who welcomed her into their circle with open arms but at the same time, she has her guards up just in case things go wrong. The boys never failed to notice it but they chose not to comment on it. She immediately warmed up to San and Wooyoung and they’re labeled as the chaotic trio in their circle. Y/n felt herself getting happier.

In the second month, however, despite having enough friends, she still finds herself going back and forth to the past. There are times where she had her emotional episodes and she’s just thankful that Yunho’s been there for her always. She spent most of her time staying over Yunho’s place than she spent in her own place, telling each other stories that the other doesn’t know and just laughing her sadness away.

And in the last week of the second month, y/n decided to move over the empty condominium space beside Yunho’s as she reasoned out that she can’t stand the memories made in that apartment so she decided to move out. As Yunho helped her unpack with a fair share of giggles and laughter, that’s when Yunho realized that he’s healed.

In the last month of the year, which marks the fifth month after they met, Y/n seemed to go back to her normal self and Yunho saw her as a very giggly and carefree person. Yes, there were times where she remembers her ex boyfriend but instead of wallowing in sadness like she used to do, she started making fun of that memory that left her very broken before. The first time they spent Christmas together was when Yunho realized, he’s in love.

He’s falling for her and he’s scared.

He’s scared that the same thing will happen to him all over again. That after making her happy, she’ll leave him like how they did with him. Cancelling all his plans the day after that, he decided to voice out his concerns to Yeosang.

“Sang, I’m scared.” The first thing he blurted out with panicked eyes by the time Yeosang opened his apartment door.

His friend guided him to his couch and patted him in the back, “What happened, Yunho?”

“I..” he let out a deep sigh and he felt tears pooling in his eyes, “I’m falling for y/n, Sangie.”

A breath of relief rushed out of Yeosang’s mouth and he smiled warmly, “What’s so scary about that?”

“I.. I don’t know. Maybe she’s going to leave me like all of them did. Maybe I’ll get broken again but this time I won’t be able to pick myself up and–”

“Yunho, it’s not love if it doesn’t hurt.”

Yunho was dumbfounded by his friend’s words; he opened his mouth only to find himself closing it once again, making him look like a fish gasping for air.

Yeosang stared at him intently as he took a hold in Yunho’s hand, “Yunho, listen to me. Y/n, she’s thankful for you. Though I don’t know what really happened to her the day you met but I can tell that you helped her.”

“I assure you, y/n’s not the type to leave the only person she’s relying on. She’s too grateful to do that, used to be too broken to think of that. She’s not the type to put herself in the same situation that I’m assuming other people used to put her in. And I get it, you’re scared but Yunho, the happiness she gave you is not describable by words. It’s not just me who noticed it but the other boys as well. She’s different, one of a kind.”

“Give it a try and maybe she’s the right person for you.” Yeosang said as he put finality in his words, drowning Yunho in realization.

“Yeosang..”

“I know, you’re welcome. Now go home and fix yourself. I know you had fun staying up with her yesterday.” His friend pushed him out of his apartment door and before he completely left the place Yeosang called him out once again, “If things go wrong, we’ll always be here for you.”

And that made Yunho’s heart swell in happiness.

Except, when he saw her again, Yunho just chickened out and decided to avoid her like a plague and y/n is not dumb enough to not notice it.

January is their sixth month together and it’s also been a few weeks now since Yunho started avoiding her. It made her sad to the point that she ranted to Wooyoung and San on their separate group chat on how Yunho’s not talking to her and how it frustrates her.

Y/n, unlike Yunho, is aware of the feelings that bubbled up in her heart. The way she felt the butterflies on her stomach two months ago when she heard Yunho sing for the first time and she blatantly told herself that yep, she’s in love with her golden retriever-looking friend. She immediately told San and Wooyoung about it as the two boys called her suddenly and started squealing like high school girls in the duration of their call.

She thought that everything was going fine and she kept her secret well not until Yunho started avoiding her after they all spent the New Year’s Eve together. She started to get worried, thinking if she did something wrong.

Deciding that instead of wallowing in her own overthinking tendencies, y/n went to Yunho’s apartment and didn’t bother knocking as she punched his too familiar code at the door. It’s in the middle of the afternoon and she figured that maybe he’s still at his bedroom after experiencing one of a hell week because college already started again.

Opening his bedroom door silently, y/n saw Yunho laying down on his bed with his head turned to the side of the window. Eyes obviously blank and void of emotions. She silently made her way to his bed and jumped on it and shouted, “Yunho!”

“Jesus, you scared me!” Yunho exclaimed as his arms wrapped around y/n’s torso with his eyes wide, “What are you doing here?”

She laid on her stomach and giggled as she removed the hair covering her eyes, “I came to visit you.” She replied with a pout and she spoke once again, “You’ve been ignoring me since the year started, I miss you.”

Yunho stared at her incredulously and he tucked her hair behind her ears, noticing the blush spreading through her cheeks, “I’m sorry, I just have a lot of things in mind.”

She let out a huff making Yunho raise and eyebrow at her and she smiled, “I’ll listen to you this time.”

“Y/n–”

“Come on, Yunho. You helped me a lot so now it’s my time to repay you. Maybe talking can help you get your mind out of the gutter.”

Yunho just laid there silently once again thinking through things that can possibly happen. If he tells her, their friendship might either end immediately or she reciprocates his feelings for her. But then, he can hear Yeosang speaking in his mind.

Give it a try.

He watches as she fidgets with his fingers that are laying in his stomach. He stared at her eyes and it reflected the night sky filled with stars even if it’s the middle of the day. He let out a sigh making y/n look at him and giggle, “That’s a deep–”

“I like you.”

Y/n was dumbfounded for a while as she stared at Yunho with her mouth open making the latter laugh and guide his hand under her chin to close it. She stared at him still and it’s been a minute that passed by when he confessed and Yunho couldn’t help but feel nervous so he added, “I-I understand if you don’t like me back it’s just that–”

“Idiot.” She suddenly blurted out, as she sat down beside him from her lying position, cutting his words. Yunho looked at her confused, “Huh?”

“You’ve been avoiding me because you like me? What are you trying to do? Damage control?”

“Well, yes–”

“That’s dumb, Yunho.” She said as a matter of factly and Yunho’s eyebrows were knitted, “Look if you’re just going to roast me–”

“I like you too, you fucking dumbo. Are you going to kick me out?” Her words sounded confident which made Yunho stare at her in wonder. They were silent for a while and it’s enough time for Yunho to help his mind process her words.

Giggling as he did so, y/n looked at him confused, “Why are you giggling?”

“Come here.” He said as he pulled her beside him, y/n’a face tucked in his neck, “I really like you.” He said once again then chose to proceed, “I was scared that you’ll leave me like they did if I told you.”

She hummed, “I really really really like you too. I know when we first met that I was broken but that didn’t make me afraid to love. I won’t leave you like they did.”

Yunho smiled through her hair and dropped a kiss on the crown of her head, “Let me take you out on a date?”

“We still have some time today. We can go to Mrs. Kim’s coffee shop. We can visit an arcade then eat dinner out? Maybe do a little bit of shopping?” She suggested as she looked up and their gazes met. He smiled softly at her and hummed, “Sounds like a plan.”

“For now cuddle me here in your bed.” She said in a cute demanding voice causing a laugh to bubble out of Yunho’s mouth.

“Whatever my princess wants then she gets.”

She let out a squeal and squeezed herself tighter into him as if they weren’t too close enough yet. She thought about the first time she met the light of her life and remembered a very important thing they agreed on.

“Yunho?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Thank you.” He looked down at her and booped their noses together as they cuddled in the warmth of Yunho’s bed. Yunho, smiling like an idiotic fool, immediately knows the true meaning behind her gratitude because he feels the same, he’s thankful he met her that day.

Maybe Yeosang is right as well, she may really be the right person for him, and for the first time in years, this is the only relationship Yunho had that made him feel so happy and content.

thank you for reading!

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