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i-eat-deodorant · 1 year

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[Shakes you] TELL US ABOUT YOUR LAMB

LMAO watching this appear in my inbox in real time was a treat.

In my headcanons, the sheep were total pacifists that lived in high-altitude villages in the mountains outside of Shamura's territory. Lamb did have a twin, but it died in utero; they were born as a single child in a species that normally births in doubles. Because of this, they compensated for the lack of siblings by making everyone their friend. They're generally pretty easygoing, gregarious, and considered their place in their family an integral part of who they are.

That's why being the sole surviving sheep hurt them so much.

Sheep get distressed when separated from their flock, and Lamb is no different. Shamura's genocide tore away everything they loved: their family, their heritage, their homeland. by the time lamb was sent to the executioner's block, Lamb had no purpose left. They had nothing--nothing except for an all-consuming rage at what the Bishops took away from them.

Later on, Lamb would gather up the courage to ask him exactly why he chose them–why, in a meadow of flowers, he’d plucked a wilted one. "Wilted one?" came his rumbling laugh. "I chose you, vessel, because you called to me, even if you did not know me by name then. Your comrades, they soiled themselves and cried and sang sheer terror…but you?" An emaciated finger lifted their head, cold finger digging into the soft underside their jaw. "Every death, every head that rolled onto the ground–it fed your fury like an open fire. I could see it. You called out to me, in your final darkest moment, and wished to repay each and every one of their deaths in blood."

That's where TOWW comes in.

The thing about Lamb that sets them apart from all of TOWW’s previous vessels is that they were stripped clean of their worldly attachments before they were crowned. When they were resurrected, it was to a strange and unfamiliar world where everything they once knew was gone, and all they had left was a blood-red crown and a need to kill.

It made them incredibly susceptible to TOWW’s suggestions: of anger, of revenge, of rebuilding a community (but not the same, nothing will ever be the way it used to be) in his name. TOWW gave them purpose. They were literally his vessel–emptied of their own hopes and dreams and replaced with his. His fury was their fury. His hurt and pain was their hurt and pain. When they cut down every bishops and tore the hearts from their chests, they felt glee and satisfaction as if they were personally betrayed by each of them. The lamb they once were died on the executioners block; the Lamb that rose again had no life, and so they lived for him. There was no other choice except to serve. They were devoted, yes, but it was something so dark and twisted it could barely be called love.

It was a one way street of loyalty that worked for the both of them as long as Lamb could live for the TOWW. Their devotion made them much better than the other vessels, because they were willing to push themselves to the point of self-sacrifice to fulfill their god’s wishes.

However, the thing about experiencing the complete destruction of everything they’ve loved for a taste of godly power was that they came out at the end of it knowing it wasn’t worth it. Over the course of their crusades they learned how Narinder sacrificed everything he knew to become more powerful, and got chained as a result. It drew them closer to him, because they empathized with his loss, but they never agreed with his end goal.

So when he asked them to give up themselves, their followers, and the little community they’ve built from the ground up to set him “free”?

He's war-torn; they may not have seen it then, lost in their awe and their grief, but they could recognize the signs now. Hunched back. Nicked ears. Arms rotted to nothing. An eternally bleeding robe, always a wet shade of red. (He's tired. They'd know–they saw the same thing every time they looked in the mirror.) And so they fought. One last time. For him.

Personally I don’t think Lamb was ever afraid of death. They're surrounded by it. They've died way too many times to fear it, even if this last one would be final. Instead, they refused to give up the crown because of him. They knew him, or thought they knew him. They pictured themselves in his position: ascended, free, with all the power that they wanted and the world at their whim and so utterly alone. Power, they learned, did not buy happiness.

In the end, Lamb defied TOWW because they loved him too much to see him destroy himself, all over again.

It’s really hard to justify the in-game mechanic discrepancy of Narinder’s follower form (why did he survive when the other bishops just exploded?) and I think it’s Lamb’s unconscious will holding them back. They never wanted to kill TOWW. Despite everything, they’re still grateful for him being there to catch them and give them a second chance for retribution. Whenever he fell, they wanted to be there to catch him too.

When they brushed off the mountain of bloodied robes and chains and found a trembling little thing they slew curled in the epicenter, the last thing they expected was to fall for him all over again.

Post-game, Lamb tries to put everything behind them and focus on the cult, but it’s hard! They develop a bit of a two-faced reputation, where they’re incredibly kind and sweet to those in their flock but will coldly and mercilessly strike down anyone outside of it. They’re incredibly conflicted about this, to the point where they see the ruthless part of themselves as an alter ego, where they’re an impostor that took the skin and flesh of an innocent little Lamb after resurrection. Lamb also blames the crown for corrupting their personality (it didn’t, it just amplified a preexisting personality trait that wouldn’t have been expressed had Lamb not gone through what they did) and fears that the more they use their godly powers, the faster this evil side will consume them. Crusades always come with a bit of internal crisis.

Since serving Narinder was their purpose for so long, they kind of flounder on where to go afterwards. For a while, Lamb gets severe separation anxiety when they don’t know where Narinder is–had they made the wrong decision, turning him into a mortal? What if he dies? They live because of him, and if he’s done, they straight up do not have any reason to live anymore.

Even though he’s a little pissy bitch for the first half a year he’s a mortal, Narinder actually helps ground Lamb a lot. After centuries as an immortal god, they’ve become detached to their followers. Narinder, a former god, had long forgottem how to be a mortal. His slow road to recovery was him relearning how to appreciate life again in its fleeting little details, and through him Lamb was also able to relearn what they’ve forgotten as well.

Nothing’s ever perfect–they cannot fix the past, and even resurrection cannot bring back non-followers. However, Lamb has already built a life for themselves from nothing once. After the Bishops, after TOWW, they’re able to put the worst of their traumas to rest, and rebuild themselves; a death god dying and being reborn anew.

#half of this is directly copy-pasted from a discord conversation so some of it might sound familiar #tossing in some scraps i’ve never shared before because they apply well #anyways can let’s play spot-the-writer-projecting #you have a 50/50 chance to get it right tbh #i generally try not to project too much ehhhh they’re there #i wrote this all yesterday but then the internet cut out so i didn't have time to submit it until now #long post #my shit

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normalbrothers · 4 months

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"it's not arthur. it's who i am when he's there. god hears every filthy word in my head, knows every dirty thing. [...] if i fall this time, i'll fall all the way."

not much love for linda as the great female matyr/masochist of the show in this fandom, as if there's nothing more controversially compelling and erotic than a devout woman made complicit in her own desecration 😮‍💨

#arthur what did you do to that poor woman ! ! !#that brief moment in s4 when they were the seminal freak couple before the whole thing tipped over into abuse #but does it have to be either/or #and she runs! and then she comes back half-willingly!#and she's brilliant at this because she's such a caustic little bitch; it's not like she's nice and suffers prettily #and all that with arthur's ambivalent jesus coding #it's strikingly oppositional to tommy/lizzie's almost ascetic noli me tangere stuff going on in s6 #&& lizzie brings up 'redemption' throughout her conversation with linda and it's the only time this specific concept comes up that doesn't #involve arthur/is directly about arthur #peaky blinders uncensored version is one singular linda/arthur sex scene with closer by nine inch nails as a needle drop

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starheirxero · 2 months

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I wanna be your friend so sooo BAD!!! im just -awful- at striking up conversations

NO THAT'S TOTALLY OKAY ANON I'm literally the same way 😭!!! I know I can't like magically poof away ur nervousness by saying this but even just, like, sending me asks like "haiiii meow" is a conversation 2 me. It's like a +3 friendship gain automatically. I am a video game with a friendship meter and I am incredibly easy to speedrun HEJAHAJD

#asks #anon #and even if we have a bunch of conversations and then don't talk for a while—thats alright!!#i have no natural friendship decay!!!#i have mutuals i've never spoken to directly and /still/ when i see them in my notes im like friend!!#and ALSO #vaguely related!!#one of my friends actually told me once that this is the 'annoy your friends' website #and it has genuinely helped me in getting more comfortable with 'being annoying'#(which usually just meant like. tagging ppl. or sending asks. or sending posts. etc etc)#so don't be afraid to be annoying!!! you could plant an explosive in my inbox and i'd still be like YAYYY before blowing up!!! HSJABSJS #/silly

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random0lover · 6 months

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I hate men and their need to act like any emotional reactions you have while you’re on your period is just you being “hormonal” and “not yourself”

(Rant in tags)

#like sorry I’m actually defending myself rather than just letting you talk shit about me directly infront of me??#when I’m on my period I tend to show more of my real emotions rather than what people want to see so yeah #but the conversation I was having with my brother was fine- I wasn’t talking to him in any way #he asked me about the monster that I had because like an hour or two ago he asked me not to throw it away since it’s one with the cod #qr code thing on it and he asked me if I threw it away and I said “no it’s not empty right now it’s infront of the microwave” and right #after my dad jumps in saying nobody needs to take offense to how I’m talking or how I’m being? when I didn’t say anything in any way? like #my brother didn’t even have the time to respond to me before he jumped in and started indirectly talking shit #I’m so done right now- all he’s done the last few days is nit pick at me about stupid shit like yesterday we missed the our bus stop and we #get off and this man starts yelling at me that now he doesn’t get to eat (mind you he never explicitly said he wanted to get off at that #stop I thought we were just going directly home)- he constantly says shit on purpose to get a rise out of me and now for some reason my #brother (the one that is 17) has been budding in and telling me to stfu and all this shit and my dad feeds off it and uses it as more of a #reason to justify how he’s treating me and it’s just so upsetting cause he does know I’m in a more vulnerable time right now since my period #is always really difficult anyways really sorry for the rant don’t have any friends I can talk to irl about any of this so to the internet #it goes 🙃#random0lover emotional dumps #random0lover rambling ♡

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lavendorii · 2 years

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I love you playing pretend I love you blissful imagination I love you my inner child even though we went through so much pain at a young age because everything got better and if carrying our "childish" mannerisms or coping mechanisms into adulthood helps keep us grounded then I dont see any problem with it

#txt #i always to a higher standard because i ''need to be more mature'' but i went through a lot of trauma at a young age that stripped me of my #innocent childhood before i was allowed to grow up at my own pace and because of that i still play pretend and have fake conversations with #imaginary people and i pretend to be characters in media i like because it just helps calm me down but i was always ashamed of it because i #was being ''immature'' and ''childish'' but i don't want to listen to that doubt anymore. pretending was a huge aid for me going through #recovery and i dont want to be ashamed of something that happened directly because of my trauma #this is absolutely okay to reblog i just want to let it out #also a big part of it is autism so

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britneyshakespeare · 9 days

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i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.

the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.

and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.

when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.

i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.

i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!

because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?

in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.

like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.

i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.

and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.

i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.

i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.

i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.

but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.

that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.

#tales from diana #long post #sorry i should probably put this under a read more but it was just a long stream of consciousness #and idk. im tired. im so tired #do you wanna be known as the substitute teacher a kid kept touching inappropriately? probably not #thank god for the first para i told bc she took it really seriously seemingly. i mean idk what she told him in their conversation #not EXACTLY what she told him. she obviously said this was wrong and she reiterated in learning center again #that if that were her daughter she'd be through the roof and that she'd be telling his regular para #i mean of course i had to tell the regular para directly. i would rather it come from my mouth #i'm the one who has the most information of how and why it happened. i think other ppl telling it would just reduce it to #'he thought she was so pretty and he kept staring at and touching her legs cuz she wore a skirt' like come on #the indignity of that!#i already feel undignified enough.#and also thank god for the social studies teacher. the more im processing this the more im like thank god #i dont know him well. he had already been a nice dude to me before in my interactions w him #like as a sub you notice the people who are really affirming of the strange and irregular work you do #earlier this week i was subbing for the math teacher across the hall for instance and he came in before class started and said #that if anyone's giving me a hard time to just send them to him. bc that group can be a little rowdy/wild #my classroom discipline skills are not that bad where i felt the need to have someone more experienced defend me so to speak #like i know i look young and am assumed to be new. but with most classes. i can handle most misbehavior #i can put my foot down in a way kids normally respect. i know how to keep em on task #and for MOST of the day with this kid that's what i was doing. but if that social studies teacher hadn't done what he did #i might not feel so bold in just straight up walking away from that kid. after saying stop stop stop repeatedly #like he had his own job to do independent of me but i remember the gestures and like. i could cry. he KNEWWWW #that's just a very trustworthy person i feel. he didn't want me to suffer through that any longer #a lot of teachers (unfortunately) largely ignore the kids with paras and/or expect the paras to communicate to the kid exclusively #that teacher is not like that. he was willing to mind that boy while i escaped that situation. so so grateful to him

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shortkidenergy · 13 days

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sometimes my dad will choose the absolute strangest hill to die on. today:

"one time i got jumped by 6 guys with golf clubs on the subway and it didn't really affect me why does nobody ever talk about how sometimes bad stuff happens to you and you DON'T get traumatized? >:("

????

#my brain words #victim blaming #i tag that because this started to lead into some point about all of the 'victim shit' he sees online which ????????#no clue what specifically he was talking about there but i can't imagine it was good #thankfully we stopped that train of conversation before it could become a full on argument #i already spent several hours with him the other day unpacking how he feels threatened and victimized by feminism #during which i had to repeatedly steer him away from bringing up his divorce WITH MY MOM as an example #not because i don't want to hear it but because i know her account of what happened directly contradicts his and i happen to have #an opinion on who's take i believe asgdkd #so you know #only so many battles you can fight on one 6 day vacation

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running-in-the-dark · 28 days

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I/we did a bunch of small but important productive things today (chose and ordered a ceiling light for the bathroom, ordered food for the cats, chose and ordered a window film for the bathroom, found an electricity provider and signed up with them) and it feels good. I'm still pretty overwhelmed by everything, but at least things are moving forward.

#also had that 1.5 hour conversation with my husband's grandma. that felt pretty important. someone needs to listen to her and no one else #does really.#the thing with the electricity provider is a bit funny because initially we were told we wouldn't have to do that bc it would be directly #between us & the landlord but everything's not finished so that'll only happen in a few months #but it's fine it was easy to find a good one etc.#tomorrow we'll try to figure out the paint colour for a few of the walls #so that we can finish most of the painting before we move all our stuff in this weekend #I just want to get to the fun stuff (building furniture and organising things) 😭 everything else is so stressful #but at least the place is clean now - my partner & his parents cleaned it today. there was still dirt from all the building stuff #everywhere so that should make a big difference ^^#now. I'm extremely tired so hopefully I'll be able to sleep!#personal

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celestial-toys · 1 month

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been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story #Seven’s Celestial Commentary #Everything Stays #writing stuff #i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic #there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good #the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand #i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun #but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader #can’t decide which i like more #god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head #next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao #and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts…#Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude #‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!!#picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God #‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down #‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!!#anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations!#and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped)#(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’#‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’#like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for-#like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon #‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’#‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’#*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters #anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many #gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced #even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another

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space-kittie · 8 months

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Talking to two colleagues that I actually like but constantly being talked over 💖

Thank god for my meds because otherwise I'd be sitting here screaming and crying and considering to burn bridges 🫠

#like pls just let me get my words in one single time #kinda makes me want to stop trying adding my two cents to the conversation #and in the end I look like a dick because I talk with someone else at the exact same time #because I'm sick of getting cut off constantly #i know they meant no harm and they might not even have noticed in the first place #but it sucks to get cut off every single time you try to say something #it like really hurts and makes it feel like Im not wanted as part of the convo #or that whatever I say doesnt matter #and then I get adressed directly and get like ten seconds to say my answer before getting cut off again

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planet4546b · 2 years

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OH also here’s your work boredom fueled destiny thought of the day: i’m becoming more and frustrated at the idea of calus becoming a big bad because theres absolutely no thematic or narrative weight behind it. calus was a villain that had a strong, interesting thematic message (guardians will forsake their morals for the sake of power) but the introduction of stasis and the way that is handled has made that conversation entirely moot (stasis and beyond light almost explicitly say ‘you can do whatever as long as there’s a big enough enemy on the other side to justify it with’) but now hes just being twisted to be like. ooooo im an emissary of the darkness..so scary...and i dont think its gonna work.

i think calus is an interesting villain!! (although his design is deeply fatphobic and ableist, which just outright sucks). i think his lore is interesting!!! i like the chronicon!!! i love the glykon!!!! i like his connection to caital and if him becoming a villain lets her take more of a spotlight thatd be great i love her!! but i dont think him becoming a villain contributes anything to the story of destiny where it is now, and it seems more like just using him because he happened to be around than anything else .and its weird

#pers #destinyposting #another post written during the end of breakfast rush when i was like. Oh my god hi. Ok illthink of calus #and like. ok YES i know that theres 'lore setup' for it w the crown of sorrow and everything #i just think calus being there was the weakest part of that lorebook katabasis and gilgamesh where the point yk??#im talking themes not like. concrete facts here. idc if it makes sense in lore i just think its a weak choice #i remember being SOOO hype back in the day when levi + surrounding lore was introduced #and i was like. OHOHO a conversation about guardians being more interested in power than anything else?? dont mind if i do!!!#and i still think that theme is REALLY strong they just seem to not be particularly interested in it anymore #sorry for shitting on lightfall before it even comes out its just. a completely baffling choice in every way from what weve seen so far #WAIT ONE MORE THING. the choice of calus villain meaning the cabal are once again the big villain race #directly after we spent so much time establishing an allaince that (outside of caital) weve seen very little of??#Weird choice. Not gonna lie

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nicnacsnonsense · 2 years

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“Do you know I hate the ocean? I said so just the other day.”

What, just the one time? Mary, be honest with me, is your hatred of the ocean a long-standing opinion that has come up repeatedly over the years, or is this a conclusion you came to somewhat recently and happened to share with Stede? I want to make sure we’re having realistic expectations of people’s memories here, Mary. If you’ve told him a thousand times and he’s still clueless then, yeah, he’s probably just not listening, but you can’t expect him to remember everything you’ve said in every conversation you’ve had. I just need some clarification on what exactly the situation is here, Mary.

#ofmd #stede bonnet #mary bonnet #additional follow up questions include:#how did you/have you been telling him directly or through implication; the man’s not good at social cues Mary #and if you only told him one time did you actually tell him or did you just think about doing it really hard or dream it #did you actually tell Stede or are you remembering a conversation with someone else?#no shade if you are misremembering I’m just saying if Stede doesn’t remember it let’s check alternatives before assuming he’s at fault #conflict resolution goes better if we assume good intentions on the other person’s part

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lupismaris · 11 months

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So technically speaking the oldest son in our family should be named after an eldest son of the direct generations before per Italian American tradition (so one of the parents or grand parents/uncles) in this case but the eldest son died before my father got to meet him and thus the technical eldest son in our family was named after our great grandfather instead and not called Sonny as is tradition (he and my father refuse to admit that he is no longer the eldest son because i now exist)

i am tho realizing that if my Italian grandfather (god rest ya Joe) who half raised me and loved me deeply were still alive to be a part of my transition and were as supportive as i hope he would be, especially in spite of my father failing in the role of being a supportive father, he would no doubt see that our family lacks a Sonny of its own, bemoan the neglect of tradition, and anoint me the new Sonny, the true eldest son

#is this a personal fantasy that only came into existence yesterday after a conversation with my dad about a semifamous relative? yes #technically my brother was supposed to be named more directly and called Sonny and the idea made him want to die #my dad is going on and on about my brother being the eldest son and the first born son and the tradition of eldest sons #and my stepmom just immediately turns to me and goes well i think YOU SHOULD BE SONNY JAMES #she pauses and adds MAYBE JOE WOULDVE LIKED IT TOO WHO KNOWS HE MIGHTVE CALLED YOU SONNY #SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING HED CALL YOU #and my dad just doesnt know what to do or say my brother doesnt know what to do or say and i laugh and test out the name #and she and i just move on to how ill ask the university about my great uncle sonny's student records since thats how it came up #but the fuckin discomfort in my father and brother's faces was really really good. felt authentic.#so now im considering calling on nonno joe. havent done that before. but i think i will.#technically its good no one got named after the semi local famous colonel we were talking about imo #he worked for reagan and probably wasnt all that great in terms of someone id get along with #but the tradition is in this moment what matters!

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sanstropfremir · 2 years

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So I’ve seen styling criticism of New Jeans floating around Stan twitter of late, and was curious what your thoughts are since I don’t particularly trust twitter 😅

Essentially, the internet seems to not love their outfits from Kcon japan and from I believe the fact music awards? Whatever recent awards show they went to.

To be fair, the outfits are a statement, and aren’t in line with what anyone else is currently wearing so I can see why people have feelings on them. But personally, while I wouldn’t wear them myself, I kind of love them? I think young people today who didn’t live through the so called Y2K era don’t realize just how insane and unflattering so much of the fashion was. It was like kitsch threw up everywhere sometimes, and bigger and more obvious was always better. So honestly, I kind of think that, among kpop styling, these outfits are truer to the early 00s than most of the other popular stuff. But I recognize that the trend these days is to be “aesthetic”, probably since everything ends up online for immediate and widespread consumption in a way that wasn’t possible 20 years ago, so real 00s stuff is never gonna fit that aesthetic mold.

That’s my theory at least, but I’m curious what your thoughts are!

..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................why are people mad at these. this is literally just what teenagers wore in 2005. well i know why people are mad at these and that's because they're all young adults who have never known a world where things were imperfect and weird because we weren't living under the panopticon of social media watching our every move. i was literally just talking to someone about how i used to cut thumbholes in all of my sweater sleeves in middle school and for like probably three or four years i wore like ten non-matching necklaces at all times. the real y2k was ugly as hell and we should be going back to that! everything now is so aestheticized and optimized for being the most attractive and it all has to be packaged perfectly for getting the most likes on these apps bc that's how young kids are getting their validation. things can't be ugly in their world because the parameters of what 'beautiful' is have closed in around them without them even knowing any different, so they won't accept anything even a little bit ''''experimental'''' from people they see as the pinnacles of that perfect manicured aesthetic because they don't know how to.

#newjeans w #stan twt overreacts over literally fucking NOTHING i thought i was gonna see something actually weird #but it was literally just oversized sports jerseys. y'all are pathetic (derogatory)#this is literally nothing compared to anything anyone wore on a music show in the years before 2015 #kpoppies are just weak #i think we should just nuke the twitter servers tbh #oh so y'all liked it when they had borderline inappropriate styling #but hate it now that they're wearing things actual teenagers wore in the years they have as their concept?#i wish stan twitter a very die :)#oh is it making you uncomfortable how young they are now that they actually look it??? is it?????#they should put them in increasingly more lisa frank jojo siwa ass styling i wanna see stan twt cry #none of y'all would have actually survived the 2000s shut UP #also im sorry but their kcon outfits are literally just what every second bg is wearing rn #INCLUDING the crop top #and they are cute outfits! like i would have died to be friends with those girls in 2008 #i cannot believe people are outraged about age appropriate stylings........smh #text #answers #no one in the history of ever has been ready for the conversation of unpacking why 'ugly' is used as an insult #and why ugliness is directly associated with being 'of lesser value'#anyways im gonna go watch every dawn mv like 12 times just to make up for this bullshit

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