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nothingelsematterswrites · 9 months

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Because I'm feeling petty, and it is the anniversary of The Tweet That Rocked The Grid, I decided to compile the most important piece of Oscar Lore.

I present to you: the most complete timeline of how alpine fucked up their handling of oscar piastri, aka, the piasco, to the best of my knowledge

(information compiled from multiple sources)

March 2021: Oscar Piastri makes his F2 debut in Bahrain, at the first round of the season. He immediately makes a splash by finishing fifth in the first sprint race and winning the second.

May 2021: Monaco. Oscar again impresses, collecting an 8th and two 2nds (including one in the feature race). Meanwhile, in Formula One land, Laurent Rossi offers a four year deal to Esteban Ocon, which he signs.

Rossi did not consult with any of the Alpine board about this offer, which is unprecedented for a driver who had not yet even won a race and unusual even for a race-winner who was not a champion.

What this does do, however, is effectively block one of the Alpine seats until 2025.

June-July 2021: Oscar continues to collect consistent points finishes at Baku and Silverstone, including podiums, keeping him in the championship hunt.

August 2021: Esteban Ocon wins the Hungarian Grand Prix.

September 2021: Oscar and Daniel win in Monza on the same day, with Oscar taking out the F2 feature race on the same day Daniel wins the Italian Grand Prix. Oscar follows this with another feature race victory in Russia, solidifying his points lead.

It is about this time that Alpine sit Oscar and Mark Webber down and explain that no matter what Oscar does now, he will not be in F1 next year. Alpine will have him as a reserve driver only and will not make the effort to put him in a race seat, despite Williams publicly saying they no longer require the money Nicolas Latifi brings in and are open to other drivers for 2022.

November 2021: Alfa Romeo announce that Zhou Guanyu, third place in the F2 championship, will be replacing Antonio Giovinazzi for 2022. This causes quite the uproar, as many despise the idea of Zhou getting a seat before Oscar, the talented rookie champion-elect.

The Piastris (Oscar and his father Chris) and Mark sit down with Alpine and agree to terms for 2022 and beyond, outlined in a terms sheet. This terms sheet is not a contract, but an agreement to sign a contract. The terms sheet outlines that Oscar will be the Alpine reserve driver for 2022; that he will be given practice sessions, certain private tests, and two FP1 sessions; and that Alpine guarantee him a seat on the 2023 grid, presumably with Williams. The terms sheet specifies that the actual contract will follow in 10 business days.

December 2021: Oscar wins the F2 championship in Jeddah after winning the second sprint race and the feature race. He then follows this up with a podium in sprint race one and a win in the feature race at Abu Dhabi, only serving to make Alpine look even more stupid. He is announced as the reserve for Alpine for 2022 and participates in the end of season test for Alpine.

No contract has appeared.

January 2022: Mark follows up with Alpine about the reserve driver contract, and is told, "it's coming".

No contract has appeared.

February 2022: Mark begins to hassle the legal team at Alpine about the contract. At some point, he has an exchange as follows: "I can't keep telling them that the contract is coming." The lawyer replies that she is the only one in the entire legal department, and that she has to do everything before the season starts.

No contract has appeared.

March 2022: During pre-season testing, Daniel Ricciardo tests positive to COVID-19. Alpine make arrangements with McLaren that if Daniel is not fit for Bahrain, Oscar will drive for him. Oscar still does not have a contract at this point. Alpine realise that without a contract, he does not have a superlicence (thereby making him ineligible to drive even if Daniel isn't fit.)

Panicking, the lawyer in Alpine's legal department writes "legally binding" across Alpine's copy of the terms sheet and submits that to the FIA in order to grant him his superlicence.

Five days before the Bahrain Grand Prix, Oscar Piastri finally sits down and signs a contract with Alpine to be their test and reserve driver for the 2022 season. This contract very explicitly only covers 2022, and does not contain any provisions for 2023.

Daniel finishes 17th in Bahrain, ahead of Lando Norris, and is running ahead of Norris and in the points when his gearbox fails in Jeddah.

April 2022: Oscar fulfils his duties as test and reserve driver, including being paraded around in Australia. Daniel finishes 5th in Australia after a nasty team order keeps him behind Norris' ailing car. At Imola, he is sixth in the sprint, only just behind Norris, but finishes 18th in the race after an uncharacteristically clumsy T1 move.

May 2022: Oscar conducts a private test with Alpine at Paul Ricard, using the 2021 car. No times are published, but there is a whisper on social media from the spectators who were there that Oscar was faster than Esteban Ocon had been the previous year. Daniel finishes 13th at the race in Miami after mechanical issues in qualifying and strategy issues in the race, which Andreas Seidl publicly apologises for. He finishes 12th at Spain, due to a broken rear end (which McLaren do not acknowledge until several days after the race).

After the Spanish Grand Prix, Zak Brown conducts an interview where he calls Daniel "disappointing" and lays the blame for their substandard results squarely at Daniel's feet. Daniel is then harassed by the media all through the Monaco weekend, where he finishes 13th.

It is also about this time that Alpine begin to publicly state that they are courting Fernando Alonso for a contract extension for 2023, meaning no seat will be available for next year at Alpine.

June 2022: It is about this time that Zak Brown begins shopping Daniel's seat behind his back. There are several interested parties involved, including Alex Palou and Pato O'Ward of Indycar.

Alpine continue to insist to Mark and Oscar that the 2023 deal is in progress. However, at about this time, rumours start to fly that Oscar is going to replace Nicolas Latifi at Williams after Silverstone. Williams angrily deny this, stand by Latifi, and publicly state that they are done being used as a dumping ground for other teams' juniors when they have their own - a seemingly firm statement that Oscar will not be welcome while he is attached to Alpine.

Mark makes contact with McLaren, and negotiations begin.

5 July 2022: On this date Oscar Piastri signs his contract with McLaren. The contract is initially as a reserve driver with mechanisms to make him the race driver if McLaren can negotiate an exit with Daniel. Oscar informs Otmar Szafnauer and Laurent Rossi shortly afterwards, and does so a second time at some point in the next three weeks.

11 July 2022: Zak Brown states to the media that Daniel Ricciardo will be driving for McLaren in 2023. About this time, Daniel visits the factory, and makes a tearful, impassioned promise to the team members that he is working incredibly hard and will be driving for them next year.

28 July 2022: Sebastian Vettel shocks everyone by announcing his retirement from Formula One at the end of the season, throwing the grid into disarray.

30 July 2022: Lawrence Stroll contacts Fernando Alonso and offers him the drive for next year. Unlike Alpine, Lawrence does not hesitate to put a paper contract in front of Fernando, and offers him a 2+1 deal where Alpine had been pondering a 1+1. Fernando, tired of the games of Alpine, signs immediately.

1 August 2022: Aston Martin announce that Fernando Alonso will join the team from 2023.

Either 1 August 2022 or 2 August 2022: Otmar Szafnauer corners Oscar in the simulator, in front of several other Alpine staff, and informs him he has the Alpine drive in 2023. Oscar is aware that if he challenges Szafnauer he will make a scene and does not say anything.

2 August 2022: Alpine announce that their 2023 driver lineup will consist of Esteban Ocon and Oscar Piastri. Eagle-eyed fans note that there are no quotes from Oscar in the press release, which has a very strange vibe. They are right, because...

A few hours later, Oscar sends The Tweet. There is immediate uproar.

August 2022: Otmar Szafnauer and Laurent Rossi proceed to go on a smear campaign against Oscar, calling him disloyal and questioning his integrity. Even other team principals (unwisely) get involved, despite not knowing the full story. Alpine is threatening court action, and the matter is scheduled for a Contract Recognition Board hearing. Oscar and Mark do not say a word, and nor do McLaren, who everyone assumes is the team that got him.

24 August 2022: McLaren announce that they have agreed with Daniel to part ways for the 2023 season. They do not announce his replacement and Daniel does not have a drive for 2023 arranged.

2 September 2022: The Contracts Recognition Board hearing takes place. Alpine are savagely humiliated as the full extent of their incompetence is laid bare. The mediators express their clear disdain for Alpine's actions, including their incredulousness that a lawyer possibly thought it acceptable to write "legally binding" on a terms sheet, the fact that the lawyer had pleaded with Laurent Rossi for more help several times and Alpine's "shilly-shallying" over even getting Oscar his reserve contract, let alone a race one. They find that the only valid contract Oscar had for 2023 was the one with McLaren, and Alpine are ordered to pay Oscar's, Mark's, and McLaren's costs.

After all of their bluster and slander, it turns out that Otmar Szafnauer and Laurent Rossi genuinely believed the terms sheet was a contract that entitled them to Oscar's services for 2023.

Alpine fire the lawyer. (So I guess nobody is in their legal department, now?)

#oscar piastri #op81 #formula 1 #f1blr #the timeline #the piasco #as you can see there are not enough words for how badly alpine FUCKED THIS UP

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doubleddenden · 2 years

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A quick look at the timeline since we last checked in

Sonic Frontiers has a song by ONE OK GO and one version says "Fuck the pain away"

Disney proves it truly listens to what fans do not want by making live action Pinocchio, Little Mermaid, and Mufasa, which is a prequel to the much behated live action Lion King

HBO Max nuked a bunch of its animated shows for tax write offs

Uncle Grandpa almost survived with one episode called "Fleas Help Us" before being deleted

Summer Camp Island literally had a whole season ready

WB canned a completed Batgirl movie after spending $98 million. For tax write offs.

FBI raided Trump's Florida home and found hundreds of stolen top secret files, and one includes nuclear defense details on a foreign nation. Yeah he's in very hot shit

Biden administration opens the path for forgiveness for $10k-$20k of student loans, MS decides to tax anyone that gets it

When the Republicans got offended the White House Official Twitter Account revealed the MILLIONS of PPP loans the nay sayers had forgiven individually

NASA Is trying to GET US BACK ON THE MOON BABEY WOOOOOOOOO but unfortunately they had to scrub 2 launches because of engine troubles and a leak

But it's cool! It's cool! They gotta get it right because the end goal is to try and establish a MOTHERFUCKING MOON BASE!!! SOMEBODY HIGH FIVE ME

A machine on Mars the size of a lunch box made about as much oxygen as a small tree, prompting some to think we could have oxygen mines for future manned Marsian missions

Leonardo DiCaprio breaks up with another woman who just turned 25

JK Rowling wrote a book about totally not her being harassed by the very people she demonizes every day as a racist antisemitic ableist TERF and embarrassed herself in front of God and the internet again

After years of failing to sell on the market, Sony makes the decision to INCREASE the price of the PS5 despite only 5 people other than Crypto Dorks having them

Nintendo follows up by revealing they have no plans to change prices, which we all been knew because they still sell years old ports for $60

Gendy Tartokovsky's Primal aired a Dinosaur literally laying eggs up close and personal from its cloaca (side note do dinosaurs have those?)

Gendy is also apparently at the helm of a second PPG reboot in the works

She-Hulk Twerked

Looney Tunes officially ships Bugs X Daffy

3 Avatar Movies in the works. No not the blue people- well yes those too but I meant the one about the bald kid, the second one about Zuko, and the third about Korra

Blue people avatar has a movie coming in December

Reigen Arataka from Mob Psycho 100 wins Twitter poll for Twink Supreme

Reigen does absolutely nothing and wins Ultimate DILF

In an ultimate final clash, Reigen just barely loses to Sans Undertale for Tumblr Sexyman

Tobyfox wrote fanfic about it and posted it to Twitter

On the same exact fucking day Sans defeats Reigen, the Queen of England DIED. Tv stations in mourning across the globe. Meanwhile Irish people and other people directly negatively impacted by colonization by the crown cheered and partied and tumblr and twitter released the crabs 🦀

This is as of September 10th, 2022, not told in any particular chronological order

This has been the look at the timeline, and no, the year is not over yet

See yall in December

#the timeline #sonic frontiers #queen elizabeth ii #sanssweep #reigensweep #nasa #artemis 1 #hbo max #crab #im not the official news. look it up if you have doubts

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rottmnt-residuum · 11 months

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WE'RE NOT EVEN A THIRD OF THE WAY THROUGH

Anyway- as you can see there are three arcs planned currently, and have been planned from the beginning of this comic. the arc that has changed the most is the third arc, the first arc has changed the least

there will eventually be a rescue! i promise that, but that won't happen til the third arc. we're in it for the long hall, y'all

#the timeline #we don't.. think theres going to be a forth arc but that might change #yes i realise the titles are rather ominous #residuum

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salethe2 · 9 months

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Suitless Darth Vader. Just a very rough sketch I made while listening to the Thrawn: Alliances audiobook.

#Star Wars #anakin skywalker #darth vader #suitless vader #SW #Star wars fan art #fan art #rough sketch #star wars darth vader #time Traveler moves a chair #the timeline #Where can I enlist to the empire?

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existennialmemes · 4 months

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Never put anything off until tomorrow, when you could go back in time and completely delete the task from the timeline altogether.

#shitpost #shitposting #neurodivergent #neurodivergent memes #time travel #the timeline

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applesandpavenders · 6 months

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#just to name a few #the timeline #ww2 only lasts a year #the time difference between narnia and our world is based solely on ✨plot convenience✨#what the heck happens to the professors house #please add #I love how inconsistent Lewis is #he wrote those books on pure whimsy and I love it #narnia #the chronicles of narnia #meme

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larrylimericks · 1 year

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18Nov22

‘That’s a Wrap’ Edition Two long years of romance contrived Has wrapped, leaving no one surprised; They’ve split ways, H and O, That’s the way that stunts go— Alexa, play “I Will Survive.”

Jobless Paps Edition Since first papped at Jeffrey’s stunt wedding, We’ve all known just where this was heading: The contract’s expired, Pink beanie’s retired— Congrats, H, on parasite shedding!

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zekeram · 9 months

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A monster hath been created by my hand. May God have mercy on my soul.

Split version because Tumblr fucking hates me:

EDIT: This is outdated now, I made an updated version which you can find here!

#the timeline #undertale #undertale 2 #deltarune #touhou #homestuck #ut #ut2 #ib game #rpgmaker #fnaf #mother series #earthbound #this is why I shouldn't be allowed to use paint.net #undertale ii revenge of the robots #undertale ii #the only game on this timeline that doesn't exist is undertale endgame #everything else is a real thing

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waywardstation · 1 year

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Love all your art! Just saw one of your dojoshipping posts and remembered that Flint (Sinnoh Elite 4 clown hair guy who’s definitely descended from Zisu) has gray eyes.

Imagine getting banned from tumblr for saying what Zisu did to that Warden.

1) thanks OP!! Very happy you like my art!! ^^

2) *record scratch sfx* OH ARCEUS HE DOES

#did not notice he had grey eyes #though Zisu has grey eyes too I’m pretty sure #I’ve looked at images of her so many times for reference I’m pretty sure that’s right #INGO WHAT DID YOU DO #THE TIMELINE #legitimately I love Flint now by proxy #because I love Zisu so much #Flint I love you #I use him a lot in Pokémon Masters EX now

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hellherekitten · 7 months

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Why does my for you page show me more of an updated timeline of posts made my the people I follow that my following tab.

#tumblr what the heck #halp #oh no #the timeline #it’s broken

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doubleddenden · 2 years

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We're 5 months into 2022 as of May 22nd. It's time for another look at just how fucked we are by checking in on

The Timeline

Elon Musk buys Twitter to own the libs. Wait actually he changes his mind. Maybe actually yes. Wait. What about all the bots? Maybe no. Lots of people are jumping ship

Eurovision happened. Something about banana wolves and pussy salad? Idk man, but Ukraine won

Square Enix sold a bunch of IPs for... NFTs. Like Deus Ex and Tomb Raider. For. NFTs.

BTW NFTs and crypto fell hard recently

BTW BTW, one of the biggest NFT guys behind those ugly monkeys tried to make a dating site for themselves, then called it off because of too many dudes

Speaking of dating, Dead By Daylight is making a dating sim called DBD Hooked on You, made by the same people that made the KFC dating sim. Now you can date your favorite serial killers and be the "I can fix him" girl you've always wanted to be

Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers came back in the weirdest possible way. Look aesthetics aside, I mean it when I say weird. Like Ugly Sonic makes an appearance weird. Like two characters got together that had no business getting together weird. Like Chip n Dale not sounding like Chip n Dale weird.

You know that bird that was in Lion King? Zazu? Yeah his species is going extinct. I thought it was a toucan or something but nah, thats a Yellow Billed Horn Bill, and climate change is wiping them out.

MCR is back- again! This time Measles didn't come with them

Unfortunately Monkeypox did. Yeah turns out it's was around before in 2003 or so, even 2021. Do some googling but try not to panic. There are treatments from the looks of things so we're already better off than we were with Covid, but educate yourselves on the matter to be safe, and don't brush off warnings.

Fairly Odd Parents has a live action Paramount+ series where Timmy leaves very 2d Cosmo and Wanda to some very not 2d and live kids when he goes off to college or something idk. Btw, Vicky works at the school now. Btw btw, Vicky has a crush on- go ahead and guess- no seriously try it you'll never get it- it's Crocker. Twitchy ass FAIRY god PARENTS ass ear on his neck ass Crocker. Yeah she was 16 during the regular show and he was still middle aged and yes this did come out of nowhere, why do you ask?

Digimon Survive survived development hell and is actually coming out in like 2 months, and seems like it might be a VN with Tactical RPG elements and a karma system- oh and teens will probably die, most definitely

Avatar actually put out a trailer for its new movie. No no not the fun one with the bald kid or buff tomboy- the one with blue people that have sex with their hair

Warner Bros really weren't joking when they decided to make a co-op Smash clone of characters like Batman, Arya Stark, Jake the Dog, and Ultra Instinct Shaggy. It's real. I swear I saw it. I stg Batman and UI Shaggy really fought against Bugs Bunny and fucking Arya Stark. I wish I was lying.

Kingdom Hearts 4 is announced, and Sora has gone down from a size 32 clown shoe to a size 13 as he steps into the most disturbingly realistic world in the franchise yet.

Oh and this was a couple of months back, but Robert Pattison and Zoë Kravitz were interviewed by a Vtuber named LaPlus (La+?) Darkness from the Japanese side of Hololive, where she asked him how he used the bathroom in the Batman suit, and he gave a fun answer. He actually looked happy

And to end it on a somewhat bittersweet note. Scrat finally got the nut. That fucked up squirrel from Ice Age that caused several natural disasters, broke the laws of physics, broke EARTH- he finally. Finally got his nut. His struggle is over.

Until we meet again

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