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analyticalstarz · 2 months

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In honor of autism awareness month, here's a full comprehensible list as to why I think Rui is autistic, or at the very least, neurodivergent !!!! - 1, For starters, he was ostracized by his classmates for presumably almost a decade (2nd grade - 1st yr of high school), all because he was "different" and nobody around him could properly understand him. This has resulted in him struggling to form and maintain relationships. As stated in his second focus event, Revival My Dream, when he was a kid, Rui had a hard time conversering with his classmates because he felt as if he couldn't connect with them.

He's interested in more niche things, like robotics,

and he was also interested in things that people normally regard as "scary", such as moths;

After he became fond of shows and theater as well and attempted to include his classmates in one he thought of in an attempt to grow closer to them, his idea ultimately backfired since his classmates thought his way of directing was "dangerous", and this is where the ostracization seemed to start.

(translation by Arvon Oven) Being ostracized and shunned is unfortunately a common thing with people who have autism, and as I mentioned previously, Rui was alone for presumably seven years straight, all because he was regarded as "different". - 2, He has "restricted, obsessive interests" that can be seen as hyperfixations/special interests. Ever since he was a child, Rui's been heavily interested in both robotics/inventing and shows. A hyperfixation is described as, "A complete obsession with or absorption into a particular task. The task can be a hobby, a TV show, a subject of interest, or something else. People who hyperfixate may tune out the world around them and ignore important responsibilities, such as eating or sleeping." Rui's interest in shows specifically can be seen as a hyperfixation, as in the first side story of his Unforeseen Keynotes (or Unexpected Happenings according to the English translation) card, Rui was so engrossed in thinking about the next show they'd be doing, he had completely forgotten that Robo-Nene was due for maintenance, and Nene mentions that this wouldn't be the first time he's forgotten to eat or sleep because of how engrossed he gets in his thoughts while thinking about shows.

Nene also mentions in Wonderlands x Showtime's main story that Rui becomes so absorbed in his shows that he "loses sight of everything else", (In the original Japanese version, she says "When it comes to shows, he isn't able to look at his surroundings, so things never work out".)

and also in KAMIKOU FESTIVAL!, where he mentions that his tendency to put shows "at the center of everything" might be a flaw of his;

(translation by Ren) It's also mentioned in A Once-In-A-Lifetime Pandemonium!? that he'll get so absorbed in his thoughts while thinking of shows, he'll completely forget about his surroundings.

(translation by tsukasa’s #3 fan) - 3, He has texture issues, which is also common with people who have autism. It's been mentioned multiple times throughout the course of the game that he detests vegetables, but more specifically cucumbers and things in the cucurbitaceae family (such as watermelon & pumpkin), because they all share the same texture.

He mentions in an area conversation with Nene that he usually only eats at restaurants he's familiar with (he sticks to routine; another thing common with people who have autism), so eating out has never been an issue to him, and he even refused to eat vegetables when they were quite literally stranded on a deserted island and in a life-threatening situation.

- 4, He info-dumps. A lot.

This one is pretty self-explanatory, I think. - 5, He's overly logical and struggles with his emotions. He's had trouble on multiple occasions understanding his emotions, such as in Full Power! Wonder Halloween! where he unconsciously holds himself back after inadvertently injuring Tsukasa with one of his inventions, but he didn't realize that he was even holding himself back until somebody pointed it out, and he didn't realize that he was holding himself back because he was worried, either. Something similar happens in Heat Up! Kamikou High Cheering Squad! where he unconsciously holds himself back because he feared being shunned again, but once again, he didn't realize the reason for him holding himself back until somebody pointed it out for him. In the first side story of his I Can't Afford to Lose *4 card, Rui comes to the Sekai, hoping to talk to somebody to put his mind at ease. As he runs into Meiko and Luka and they ask him what's wrong because he seemed down, Rui says that "I just wanted to think about production, but my feelings got in the way of thinking". He then says "Feelings really are troublesome. / Sometimes, you have to hold them back with all of your might... It'd be nice if someone other than me could manage these troublesome feelings". (In the English translation, he says "Emotions are so complicated and can be so troublesome at times. / There are even times when one becomes completely overwhelmed by them... If only someone else were able to help put a lid on them.") Lastly, I'd like to mention that in Revival My Dream, after Rui asks his mom if he's different from the people around him, she responds by saying that, yes, he is different, but she also says that she was "just like him" as a child, and seeing how autism is caused mainly by genetics, his mom can very well be autistic too.

Okay, that is all!!! Thank you for listening to me yap :3

#project sekai #pjsk #rui kamishiro #colorful stage #prosekai #pjsk rui #wonderland x showtime #rui pjsk #rui pjsekai #rui project sekai #kamishiro rui #autism acceptence month #autism awareness month #project sekai analysis #I couldn't add images for the 5th one. whoopsies #lmk if I missed anything!!!#this list was quite fun to compile

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ayamari-no-goshi · 3 months

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I've gotten some questions regarding whether or not I've abandoned fics (specifically the DP x DC ones)

I haven't, but please understand that it's a hobby. Sometimes life doesn't allow me to have time or the energy to want to work on my projects.

Let me just explain the BS that I dealt with in 2023 that's caused writing to go on a back burner for multiple reasons. These are in approximate order.

discovering a friendship was super toxic and person had gotten dangerous to be around. I still have to be very careful visiting a friend who still lives in his area because no one knows how he’ll respond (2023 started off great)

Surgery in Feb… I accidentally re-opened my stitches in March and never felt it happen

Harassment at work that eventually resulted in someone being banned… and the cops being called

First ocular migraine, which happened at worked and scared the shit out of me

First emergency at work that required a 911 call. (The officer that responded before the paramedics seriously looked like Dick Grayson. While my tech saw him too, I’m not convinced he was real)

I cut my finger open on a sword and had to get stitches. Don’t worry about it. I don’t

Trying to be emotional support for friends when online stressors kicked into high gear

Surprise DA inspection at work

Surprise FBI visit at work

Nearly getting caught up in a landslide in Scotland while on vacation (weird things like this are not abnormal when I travel. Also saw something weird in Loch Ness that same day. I think it was just a log though)

People saying disparaging things since I don’t particularly fit into the normal mold of one of my fandoms

Massive depressive episode

Probable concussion from sword - don’t worry about it

Set off DA investigation 1 at work

Set off DA investigation 2 at work

Was part of a sting operation at work

Hosted friends from out of state and country (one of the few good things from 2023)

My cat sat on my laptop and damaged it

Harassment and banishment round 2

Family member died and another ended up in the hospital on the same day for unrelated reasons

My fencing studio closed and I’m not adjusting well to the new one

Bullshit from work that’s just been non-stop since I set up and opened a pharmacy for them.

Honorable mention from 2024: a fire sprinkler pipe froze and broke and ended up flooding my pharmacy in Jan

#Goshi’s thoughts #2023 sucked #like it was bad #but this is why writing was so hard #I just don’t have the energy or want to write at the moment #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover

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essycogany · 9 months

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Why I Ship Sonic The Hedgehog and Amy Rose?

Hi! I’ve been a Sonic fan since 2022 and wanted to give insight on a beloved pairing from someone who’s only FRESH in this fandom. So I could give a somewhat recent perspective on something others might’ve grown up with.

Disclaimer: This is just my merriment of cartoon madness. Done for fun. It has my everywhere all at once speculations, and opinions. Spat into one big MESS. No problem if you disagree. I wish you all the best in whatever you create with your preferred take on these characters.

I take 0 credit for anything displayed in visuals.

Now, let’s get started!

Reason 1: What Got Me Into Sonamy

I want to recommend people who not only helped me understand the dynamic better, but did so while giving good insight on Amy’s character. Which is one of the most inconsistent in the

ENTIRE franchise. Here they are! In no particular order.

Why Amy is a “Strong Female Character” [Sonic The Hedgehog Video Essay]

Channel: Taro Marshmallow on YouTube.

She helped me understand Amy’s character as a whole. I believe it’s important for people to comprehend Amy’s character in order for them to understand or like Sonamy. No one has to, but it sure was eye-opening for me. So, do of it what you will. I advise people to give it a watch for the AMAZING character analysis alone.

Molinaskies: On Tumblr, this person goes into serious analysis on Sonic’s emotional characterization, and Sonamy too. Words can’t describe how much I appreciate this ship the more I read about their dynamic from someone I can tell has fun doing it.

Sherrydoodlez: This person is the reason I became a Sonic and Sonamy fan at the same time. Once I saw her videos, I was HOOKED. She makes cute, fun, and outstanding Sonamy content on her YouTube channel. It’s mostly Boom!Sonamy animations with voice actors on some occasions. She makes other random Sonic animations as well. It’s a feel good channel you can watch to calm yourself as you head into a romantic cafe of servings you never knew you needed. Give her content a watch. It’s a jolly ride.

IDW (Specifically Issue #2 Page 21): I believe this is the statement which changed Sonic’s view about Amy. At the beginning, the blue blur was still on the run when Amy came around. But after fighting robots together and helping the villagers, Sonic admitted having fun. It could mean he grew more comfortable. Or just loves to fight robots regardless of who’s joining him.

Afterwards, Amy realized their negotiation about Sonic coming back to the resistance was a loss. She happily accepted it and accepted Sonic for who he is. Which made the feelings mutual on Sonic’s part in my opinion. He was even bashful while offering her to join him. Showing he didn’t mind having Amy around a bit longer. I know someone else stated this better, but I hope you get the point.

Sonamy is also the one ship that gets the most hints and jokes. From official writers, voice actors, (ESPECIALLY in Japan. Sonic and Amy’s VAs literally sung a love song IN CHARACTER for crying out loud.) X, Boom, Prime, artist, some of the games, and Sega themselves with their marketing.

Fact check me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure in Japan, Amy’s been called Sonic’s “Girlfriend,” plenty of times and some even theorize they're already together in the Japanese version of Sonic Frontiers.

(Which I’m positive is very intentional)

Can’t forget the creator of the characters Naoto Oshima stated on twitter, “Sonic has the eternal heart of a boy, but were he to one day mature, he’d choose Amy.” I believe if any ship in this franchise at least makes the most since, it’s Sonamy. I’m only scratching the surface, but we’d be here forever if I continued.

Reason 2: The Dynamic

I believe Sonamy works romantically and platonically. Sonic and Amy are best friends so their bond is already close in that regard. I think in times of peace they hang out. Which has been shown in IDW in the retail incentive covers of issue 1, 5th Anniversary.

The reason I think Amy’s the best choice for Sonic is because she can always keep up with him. She understands him and reads him like a book.

(Sonic doesn’t express himself very well, so that’d be a huge benefit.)

She brings an array of emotion out of him, and accepts him for who he is.

Amy wouldn’t slow him down because they’re relationship wouldn’t change at all. She’s always just as down for going out and exploring as he is. Being a hot-head, she’s not adverse for a bit of head busting with her hammer. Amy allows Sonic for a chance at a relationship he couldn’t get inattentive or tired in.

They’d go on their usual adventurers and might only tell a few friends about their relationship.

(Or keep it a secret)

After that, they’d travel together or Amy would leave Sonic to whatever he needed to do. In Sonic’s case, he would appreciate Amy’s understanding and return the favor by giving her flowers. Maybe even show minimal affection.

Like in Sonic X when he gives Amy a rose in episode 52. X also had moments where Sonic constantly protects/holds onto her. Not to mention willingly laid on a pile of hey next to Amy. And kept the bracelet she made him in episode 9.

Sonic X isn’t canon, but IDW has moments of Sonic hanging out or fighting alongside Amy too. Point is, the couple would be an updated version of their friendship. A “POWER COUPLE,” to be specific.

Romance doesn’t always mean you have to be lovey-dovey. You can treat your partner like a best friend as well. Sonic and Amy have a unique relationship because they’re subtle about it.

Reason 3: Why?

I believe it’s important to get this out of the way since these are my weird BIGGIES when it comes to shipping. Why Sonic might have a crush on Amy and why Amy loves Sonic?

Sonic’s (Alleged) Reasons: Amy doesn’t want to change him. She can keep up with him. She’s super compassionate and energetic.

(Sonic stated she was “sweet’ before.)

He respects and might even values her ways of thinking. In TMOSTH, he said:

In Prime he admits she’s, “Pretty great.”

And, he said in IDW Issue #58:

These can be seen as platonic compliments, but it’s the “Accepting Sonic for who he is” thing that homes in the mutual romantic feelings head-canon.

I’d even argue ever since Unleashed/Black Night he had a little crush on her, but felt unsure of it. That is, until IDW. He might still have no clue what to do next.

Sonic lines in Frontiers : “Amy, I should’ve made up my mind sooner.” and “Wish we were sharing an umbrella, Amy.” are huge examples of that and his reciprocated feelings.

Fun Fact: Sharing an umbrella as a couple in Japan is considered a romantic expression, and teens often draw an umbrella with their name and the name of their crush, the way one would in a heart. A very old tradition.

Sharing an umbrella has been seen as a romantic thing in a few American movies as well.

Here’s another detail I find hilarious. I LOVE in instances like Amy being, “The Lady Of The Lake” in Black Night. The time she ran away from Sonic in Unleashed, and became split versions of herself in Prime. The blue buffoon acts as if he grew more fond and I’d even suggest “attracted” to her. He either flirts with her or gets disappointed. To me, it’s a check on the, “Bringing a wide range of emotion out of him,” point.

In issue #2 of IDW it’s similar. Sonic asked Amy to join him. Then she admits being away from the resistance for too long. I’d say it’s a weirdly consistent thing. The times Sonic acts ready to “open up,” he and Amy end up having to save the world and go off to do their own thing.

(That panel in The Metal Virus with Sonic reaching to Amy while she’s freaking out, still hurts.)

Is this a sign they may need to take their time? Fortunately, we have additional content with them interacting outside those situations. I guess the hedgies are allowing each other to be their own person before committing to anything.

Like a “when they know, they’ll know,” situation.

Last thing. Sonic hugs Amy in both IDW and Frontiers. Never happened in official canon before, so his feelings must’ve changed into something.

Amy’s Reasons: He’s her inspiration and motive for loving adventures. Sonic gives Amy an excuse to show off her skills. And she admires his personality.

By the way, can we just appreciate how Amy loves Sonic for the right reasons? Not looks, popularity, or fortune. He always and forever will be her number one.

Reason 4: Conclusion

This isn’t everything, but I’m sure new content will give me new reasons to love this pair. I just wanted to take MOST of what’s already established and use it for a basic understanding.

As basic as overwhelmingly extra can be.

I don’t know whether or not Sonamy will be canon and that’s fine. To me, it’s semi cannon already and there’s a bunch of talented people who create Sonamy stories.

In actual media, their relationships grows stronger and stronger. Which I’ll dub, “Untouched reciprocation,” which is common in videos game ships.

I see Amy and Sonic as best friends with crushes on each other and find that very fascinating. The hedgehogs can just be.

Though on twitter in February 2023, someone asked about Sonic and Amy’s relationship. Then Mario Kishimoto (The director of Sonic Frontiers ) answered, “Sonic is single. But what about a lover? What about Amy? I’m also looking forward to seeing what kind of love Sonic will have in the future.”

Doesn’t prove much, but it could mean Sonic Team is interested in developing this relationship more. Whatever that indicates, I’m intrigued.

All in all this is why I love Sonamy. Hope you enjoyed my over analyzed essay

Stay Creative! 💙💖

#i love this ship so much #my first post #sonamy #sonic x amy #sonic and amy #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #sonic prime #sonic boom #boom sonamy #analisys #sth #essay writing #hope you enjoy #@sherrydoodlez #@taromarshmallow #@Molinaskies #character analysis #ship analysis

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kingsandbastardz · 6 months

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@bbcphile asked about Di Feisheng and neurodiversity and it's something that's been on my mind for awhile, so here we go.

100% thought DFS was on the spectrum when he first popped up on my screen. Cue Leonardo_DiCaprio_pointing.gif I related to so, so many of his behaviors.

Trauma/ptsd can often create symptoms similar to autism/adhd/etc due to how it fucks with your brain

Autism/adhd/etc are often co-morbid with ptsd and trauma due to abuse, bullying, increased sensitivities and higher risk taking behaviors that lead to impulsive decision making which then leads to higher rates of death.

Thoughts regarding why I think so:

1. Hyperfixation/special interest being his obsession with fighting only LXY

2. Extremely high masking - as in almost 24/7 except when alone, in front of Wuyan and possibly LLH. He doesn't have any of the perception, motor skills or speech issues some people on the spectrum have. This means he can fine tune his social skills as much as needed. He's incredibly opaque through the entire drama. His behavior is completely different from how others perceive him, how he portrays himself, what information is known about him. There's a solid disconnect between himself and what is revealed to the rest of the world. I strongly suspect he's the type that makes scripts for every social interaction he has with others and behaves based off that.

Masking at that level for so long means it's basically you. Until it's not. It's internalized. It's hard to differentiate between the you that is a mask vs you the unmasked weirdo that wants to sit on the floor all day in your underwear because it's grounding and limits sensory input.

Masking is also exhausting. He runs off to be by himself as soon as he is able. He stays in locations where he can be alone and limit sounds.

3. LLH's behavior with DFS: Yes, it is due to closeness, past history, and also unexplored emotion, but that doesn't explain the bonkers level of accommodation and lack of vitriol toward a man he spends many episodes believing killed his brother. Yes he was emotionally burnt out after 10 years. He could have been playing along to get DFS to work with him (which he didn't need to because he soft-poisoned him with asura grass - the stuff that doesn't have weird side effects like killing a person. Contrast that with wuxin huai JLQ and SGD use)

But that isn't all there is to it - he fully believes DFS wouldn't try to kill him seriously. When arguing or trying to convince him of anything, he doesn't hide the truths he hides from everyone else. He barely exhibits anger toward him beyond that one early "Do you still refuse to admit it?"

Imo he's like this because he knew DFS well enough to know that being angry won't work; he believes DFS thinks differently enough he there may be a disconnect in understanding the source LXY's anger. Considering how happy and clingy DFS was when he first showed up, I don't blame LLH for thinking this way? DFS certainly didn't share any information regarding his suspicions. More on DFS' style of logic later. He communicates with DFS a certain way because he knows:

DFS is very good at spotting lies. This is both autistic or trauma-related behavior in ppl who are very good at masking. He's hyper vigilant to begin with and pair that with him likely being very experienced at picking apart micro expressions, context vibes, logic holes, etc at high speed -- high masking individuals that create personal scripts for their interactions will often do this as a defense, to create a convincing enough set of behavior to 'behave like a person' with the rest of the world.

DFS will so strongly act on decisions based on the information he accepts that it's imperative he has as much of the needed info as possible. This speaks on a lot of experience interacting with DFS. LLH behaves this way because he doesn't want what happens when he doesn't.

4. Sensory issues: Specifically pertaining to sound/noise and food. He complains repeatedly about how noisy FDB and Su Xuayong were. In the women's mansion arc, the signaling beacon was making enough noise that it bothered him so he goes and pulls it out.

Using other preferred sounds: His preferred locations of the waterfalls or the top floor of the Lotus House makes me think of ambient noise machines where people play certain nature sounds to drown out other sounds and relax to. (again, grounding and sensory control)

He was very likely lying about his sense of taste to LXY to avoid rudeness, but there are multiple scenes implying some form of disordered eating. And there is also a scene where he comes in randomly and takes FDB's bowl of rice and walks out without taking anything else. It implies he may actually have certain food preferences even though there are other cases where he eats fine like at the grave robber banquet where he pretended to be someone else. So imo one partial possibility for this, aside from trauma, is autistic eating issues: not being able to eat in certain locations, having preferred tastes or textures, not wanting to combine their foods, eating very little. One common preference is for carbohydrates or processed foods - aka bread or rice. I know someone who's Special Food was chicken. They wouldn't have a problem having it very meal - but as an adult, understood that wasn't something they could always do.

5. Logic that makes perfect sense to him but not necessarily to others:

looking for LLH by flying to and investigating every single mountain peak until he found him (in a savant level display of power and skill)

end goal of wanting to be with LLH and fight him repeatedly forever (special interest, desire for repetition and a routine)

kidnapping QWM for LLH is totally not a bad thing since he wouldn't hurt her and is strong enough he can guarantee her safety

he doesn't communicate with LXY about his suspicions regarding Shan Gudao's death - which most sect leaders would have lead with. He didn't see this information as important to share until a purpose for it popped up later on.

his special interest takes priority over everything else: handing over control of the sect to JQL in favor of the Guyin map, Dongahi battle full of death and destruction and all he thought about was the dual

well, until his priorities change. The entire drama is his single-minded quest to heal LLH -- but it's still linked tightly to his special interest of fighting with LXY.

also "my only rival is LXY, let's fight fight fight fight"= "I only want to fight LXY" but framed in a manner that people of jianghu will immediately understand. But that's not actually what he wants. Here is a prime example of a communication issue where he's created a presentation of this strong fighter - he walks and talks like one perfectly - so LLH and everyone else is of course convinced he wants to be number 1 swordsman. That is the language he's using to present himself. And he wants to know this because, why wouldn't he want to measure himself against a benchmark? However his end goal isn't just to be number one. He wants to be able to fight and win and lose and win and lose against LXY and only LXY.

possible: won't kill women or even engage with them seriously if he deems them too weak, but will still fill his organization's leadership with them and give them huge amounts of power --- this logic doesn't make sense to me, but clearly does to him??

6. He shows love by allowing people in his personal space (LLH, Wuyan, etc) or sharing his hyperfixation (fighting). So him doggedly trying to get LLH to fight him? Well. Also whining to Wuyan every day for years about LXY? He's... sharing his special interest! Wuyan, feel loved! Also, another common form of showing love for autistics are doing things for people -- and dfs' love language is clearly acts of service.

7. One can argue he's a bit on the savant level of skills, but without typical disabilities. Also he's high masking enough that any disability he does have, you wouldn't see it at all. -- ok this might just make him a regular genius, then.

8. DFS' strict adherence to his own code of honor regardless of what anyone around him is doing

9. Need for routine or repetitive behavior - one can argue that martial arts being a special interest of his would actually make a ton of sense because it's about training over and over and over again until it becomes instinct. Daily training for years and years. You never stop. And you do it in quiet spaces away from people or places that can cause sensory issues.

10. Argument for some form of alexithymia: This one is a reach - as there's no evidence of this. But as it's often co-morbid with autism, I think could be an interesting internal reason for his ability to mask. As in, unless it's a very big feeling or a very large event, he may not recognize his own trauma as trauma. His bar for what is 'bad' is somewhere in the basement of hell, and every other traumatic event are just things that happen. He may not actually recognize fear. He chases happy things because at his age, he knows what anger, sadness and happiness are -- because they have easy to parse physical manifestations.

EDIT: I wasn't very clear up top - but I consider severe trauma to be a form of neurodiversity due to the long lasting and sometimes permanent changes it makes in a person's brain (especially when young and the brain is still being formed). So when I say I think it's possible for dfs to be neurodiverse, I'm referring to a range of things. Autism is very difficult to separate from ptsd/trauma for the reasons above, and will often manifest in the exact same ways with overlapping patterns of behavior. Any one of these things or many of these things collectively can exist without someone being neurodiverse.

Anyway this is just off the top of my had. I have this under a cut so I'll add more later as it comes they mind. (I think this gets called moral stubborness? Something like that?)

#you need quite a bit of evidence to create plausible support so this is mostly me going off what I see and vibes #like i said trauma can result in much of this behavior as well and we know how traumatized dfs is #di feisheng as someone on the spectrum #just one possibility #meta #di feisheng #my royal ramblings #mysterious lotus casebook

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wifegideonnav · 3 months

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should i read homestuck. like i feel it would be interesting so i could see what yall are talking about in regards to tlt but is homestuck actually good

"is homestuck good" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 8129 pages of heated debate,

no but seriously, it highkey depends on 1. your definition of good and 2. your tolerance for stupid bullshit. as someone who read tlt and then hs, i'd say that being a fan of the chaotic aspect of tlt is a good predictor of being able to hang in with homestuck.

readmore because this. um. got long. the tl;dr is: i like homestuck a lot and i am glad i read it. i can't tell you if you should read it bc idk your tastes, but there is a lot to like and enjoy about it.

the official pitch for homestuck is something like "4 kids play a game and then a bunch of other shit happens." here's my pitch based on what the core of the story is to me:

several groups of characters across time, space, and reality are brought together in order to succeed at creating a new universe after their own are destroyed. this takes the form of a game, which is called sburb (by the humans) and sgrub (by the trolls). the characters must contend with an eternal battle against good and evil in which they are the deciding factor, and level up while following personalized quests. at its heart, homestuck is about relationships of every sort and how they shape us, growing up and the associated grief and loss, coming into ones identity and choosing who to be, predestination and fate, and stories themselves. it gets very meta at times, and the characters are semi to fully aware that they're characters, and attempt to subvert or escape that. it's got hordes of fleshed out, compelling characters, one of which will almost certainly glom onto you for the rest of your life, real emotion, extremely funny jokes, smart and exciting plotting, and some very cool moments. it more or less invented an entire new genre/medium, and plays with medium in a very cool way.

it is also clunky, hard to get into, and way too convoluted. you will never fully understand what's happening. there are tons of characters whose stories you will follow whom you simply do not care about. there are too many characters. it was written by an edgelord in 2009 so there's some unsavory humor and character writing. it's so fucking long. the ending kinda sucks because the fandom was so toxic that hussie simply wanted it over with. the fandom still kinda sucks tbh. so many people have wrong opinions about it. it requires a very specific lens to approach and understand it. i still dont understand what happened with that fucking puppet someone explain it to me.

overall, i'd say that if you think you want to read it, give it a shot. i have a complicated relationship with it but at the end of the day, i genuinely love the story and the characters and i know they will be with me forever. it certainly enhanced my understanding of tlt, and getting to read more of tamsyn's writing was such a bonus (even though her taste in pairings is. not the same as my own). and like honestly. it's just fun. even when you're going "wait what the fuck just happened" you're having fun. it's really goddamn funny too. it WILL change the way you speak and also think about romance forever.

the best way to read it is to have an experienced reader guide you, but if you or other people don't know anyone like that, here are my basic tips:

i think most people know this already, but download the unofficial homestuck collection. just do it. it's like 4 gigs and it's infinitely better than trying to read on the broken website, and it's even ad free. it can also be modded - for instance ik there's a slur replacer mod (lmao) if you don't want to read those

act 1 sucks to read. you're like what the fuck is this, THIS is homestuck?? the beginning is radically different from how it ends up, so just hang in there. for me, it really picked up somewhere in act 3. just focus on the silly fun the characters are having and you'll be good

things you should actually try to follow in the early acts: the concept of a sylladex existing (the various fetch modi are only there for jokes and eventually just kinda stop being a thing), where all the copies of the game are, what each kid's relationship with their guardian is like, the mechanics of the game and the lore behind it, including classpects and quests

things you do not have to waste brain space on: anything about how the totems work, what the various machines are, what the levels are, basically any of the jokes that would be funny to hussie's original intended audience of software engineers and rpg gamers. oh and the intermission with the midnight crew and the felt, just know that those are guys that exist and you'll be good.

and the biggest tip i have is just. go with it. suspend your disbelief. a lot of the worldbuilding doesn't really make sense, but it would be a worse story if it did. when the time shit and ectobiology come into play, literally just go ok got it and keep going, don't think too hard.

so yeah i don't even know if any of this is useful but i hope it helps you decide. and if you or anyone else have follow up questions send em!

#asks #hs

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cy-cyborg · 3 months

Text

Proximity to disability is not the same as living with it - Writing disability quick tips

[ID: An image with “Writing Disability quick tips: Proximity to disability is not the same as living with it” written in chalk the colour of the disability pride flag, from left to right, red, yellow, white, blue and green. Beside the text are 2 poorly drawn people icons in blue, one is standing, the other is in a wheelchair. /end id]

One of the really common ways people push back against disabled people trying to give them feedback on how they’ve depicted disability in their work shows up as something along the lines of, “Well I have a child/parent/grandparent/friend with that disability, so I don’t need to consult other disabled people because I already know what a life like that is like!”

I see the most vehement pushback like this from parents of disabled children. the parents who are their child's advocates, their carers, they see everything their kids go through and have been with them through it all, so they "know what they're talking about already". And the thing about that is, while it means you have much, much more experience with the disability in question, it's not the same as direct experience living with it. Don't get me wrong, it's still an incredibly valuable experience to have, I'm not saying to disregard it, but it's not the same as having that disability. And when you're writing about characters who are disabled, and telling those stories to a public who already have a lot of misinformation about us going in, that lived experience is very, very important.

This isn't unique to parents of course, like I said, I've seen the same kind of pushback from children, friends and other loved ones of disabled people, and honestly, as someone who's been on both sides of the conversation (being a disabled person, but also having loved ones with disabilities different to my own), I do get where it comes from. But no matter how close you are with your disabled loved one, no matter how much you talk, no matter how much they explain everything, unless you yourself have that same disability, it's incredibly hard to understand the details of what life with a disability is like.

Let me use my partner as an example:

Often times, before these larger articles go up, I run them by my partner to ensure the tone and message I want to get across is actually what’s being conveyed. Which means he’s read pretty much every single article I’ve written on this blog. We talk about disability representation and tropes a lot, and he is one of the only people who sees my unmasked and unfiltered reactions to media when it’s done poorly. He’s also done a great deal of his own research on the subject, and worked with other disability sensitivity readers for his own writing projects. Not to mention, well, we live together, he sees pretty much every part of my day-to-day life and he’s one of the only people who doesn't share my disability who I talk to about the more complex emotions that come with it.

I think it’s pretty fair to say he’s quite knowledgeable on the subject of living with the specific disabilities I have for someone who doesn't have them. Despite that though, he still makes mistakes. He still misses things, and sometimes, internalised ableism - something everyone has, even disabled people - still creeps its way into his work. So do mistakes he simply didn't consider to run past me or his sensitivity readers. It’s not because he’s not listening or not trying, I’d confidently say he’s gone above and beyond in that regard, but it still happens. He still misses things that seem so obvious to me, specifically because of my lived experience as a disabled person who has to deal with these things all the time. It’s not unique to him either. A lot of people in my life are aware of the issues I talk about, but struggle to recognise them in practice or struggle to understand why them being depicted poorly is a problem.

This isn't to discourage creators from trying, mind you. But just to serve as a reminder that everyone makes mistakes, and that's ok, so long as you're still trying and still listening. No matter how close you are to a disabled person, no matter how much work or effort you put into unlearning things like internalised ableism, it's still going to pop up occasionally. And that's fine, but it means that you still need to be open to the criticism you get from people with that disability.

#Writing disability with Cy Cyborg #Quick tips #Disability #Disabled #Disability Representation #Writing Disability #Writing #Writeblr #Authors #Creators #Writing Advice #Disabled Characters #On Writing

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thatgirl4815 · 9 months

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Not to be a total Ray apologist (especially now at all times!) but I am somewhat irked at the way Top and some online opinions talk about Ray "dragging" Mew into his destructive lifestyle as if Mew is an innocent lamb being led astray. Mew is an adult who knows exactly what he's getting into with Ray - he's spent the past couple of years chastising him over said lifestyle, and he knows it's driven by Ray's substance abuse and mental health issues. Yes he's heartbroken so isn't making the best choices, but he is still responsible for those choices . Ray, however is an addict. We know this, Mew knows this, Ray denies knowing this. The idea that the addict is more responsible than his non-addict friend (who is very much cognizant of addict's addiction) when said friend decides to dip his toes into the self-destructive world of said addict...well, that's something. People rightly criticised Ray for demonstrating a type of 'poverty tourism' during ep 5 and as far as I can see, Mew's actions seem to be something similar, because we all know it's not going to stick - he's going to try on the unhealthy hedonism shoes cos he's pissed and heartsick, but he can take them off whenever he wants, whereas for Ray those shoes are cement blocks made from childhood trauma which are dragging him down to an early death (as Mew himself prophesied only an ep ago!).

On an entirely unrelated note, my two favourite First moments in this ep were 1) the adorable little noise he made after Ray asked him to help him/pulled out the 'na?' and 2) after Ray asks if he really doesn't want to talk to his dad, there's a second where you can see him imagining it before he sort of shakes himself out of it - it's such a lovely and subtle moment. And I think it's a pattern that repeats in his interactions with Ray - we see him allow himself to fall under his spell, or live in the moment, imagine what his life could be, and we also frequently see him give a little shake of the head and a rueful smile as if to gently knock some sense back into himself. Like we saw in ep 5, his life follows a routine necessitated by his financial situation and the emotional walls he's built up as a result of this and perhaps his romantic history, and he acts like he's fine with it, but then little cracks sneak in now and then that serve to remind him he's just surviving, not thriving. And I do think he's okay with not knowing his dad, and of course he's right about families not having to be mum/dad/child, but still, there's that wistful moment of 'what if' that seems to be a recurring theme throughout his story.

That's a great point about Mew being able to live Ray's addictive lifestyle with none of the longterm consequences; it's definitely a nice callback to Ray's poverty tourism and the ways in which these characters are adapting to other characters' lifestyles and being let into their world. Ray got to see Sand's world and became more empathetic towards him in the process. Maybe this foray into the world of drugs, alcohol, and hard partying will show Mew something similar about Ray? Specifically regarding his own criticisms.

I want Mew to open his eyes to his own errors when chastising Ray about drugs and alcohol. I want Mew to understand that simply lecturing someone and looking down on them isn't enough to make them quit. I want him to see why Ray has turned to these methods of release, and why even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to get himself out easily. This could be a groundbreaking moment for Mew to get to experience a fraction of what Ray is going through (not on a psychological level exactly, but as far as the addictiveness of drugs and alcohol). And yeah, Top's anger over Ray corrupting Mew is frustrating, because he acts as if Mew is a little puppy on a leash, going whichever way Ray pulls him. We know for a fact that Mew is capable of making his own decisions, and whether or not he's going through a heartbreak doesn't change that. He's letting himself fall, and he can ultimately only blame himself; he knows what he's getting himself into with Ray.

(Sidenote, but this is such a big blow to Ray--agreeing to be with him only when you're at the lowest of the low and your judgement is impaired. Mew is winning friend of the year once again...)

First! I agree--he does a great job with subtlety as far as making us aware that he is curious about what it would be like to know his dad. One of the reasons I think First is so good in this role is that he's excellent at portraying the little cracks in Sand's facade, whether it's about Ray or his father. He's good at acting one way but clueing the audience in that he really feels another way. I'm not an actor, but I suspect executing all of those emotions would be really hard to do.

Speaking of Sand though, I just. Want to wrap him up in a hug and tell him that he deserves better. (But also, SandRay endgame PLEASE.)

#only friends #only friends the series #ask #only friends ask #only friends meta #only friends ray #only friends sand #sandray #raysand #sanray #raysan #sand x ray #ray x sand #firstkhaotung #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #only friends episode 7 #only friends ep7

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tarotwithdanise · 2 years

Text

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 | 𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊-𝐀-𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼𔘓 ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼

from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here's some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼𔘓 ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼ ̼

pile one. pile two. pile three.

𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ☆

just a quick disclaimer : this reading was made for entertainment purposes only. this is obviously a general reading so takes what resonates and leave when it doesn't, you don't need to force your energy to read this and leave such a bad comment just to say it doesn't resonates with you at all because the answer is very obvious! i don't own any these pictures i collected them from pinterest so credits to the rightful owners.

lastly, be happy and enjoy reading my works — feedbacks, comments, likes, reblogs and follows are really appreciated by the reader. (that's me, lol :3)

for tips, donation and paid readings :

TIP JAR | DONATION BOX | PAID READING SERVICES

check out my second account @danisetarot . the full list of my works are here ; masterlist.

pile one

your spirit guides want you to clean your energy field, cleaning your space and home will be the best option. through the energy clearing you can remove blocks, leaks, and entities or spirits that have attached to you for so long. this process also helps you to let yourself free from any emotions or stories that others have implanted with your inner self that is no longer serving you anymore.

furthermore, take time to notice what you smelling these days like for example are you having this feeling that sometimes there's smells really good even though there's nothing really in there and you are the only person in that specific room or on the hand, in a small circle of group you suddenly smell something very good like flowers and herbs and yet there's nothing near you those things ; it's looks like you are the only one who smelling it even you ask other person/people about it. this different scents make you feel and what memories you have in your mind that somehow haunting you subconsiously ; some are honestly smell good which indicates vivid and heartwarming memories, bad smells are indicates trauma and worst memories for you. (don't come at me this is my own interpretation lol :3)

for the rest of this pile, they want you to learn on how to handle money with care. it's understandable that money is come from your hardwork and effort but spending too much money for those things you won't even use is not only losing a money but also the opportunity to buy more important things you will need in the near future. they want you to make a practical planner about this issue because your financial health is matter and is an essential aspect of your overall wellness practice.

astrological signs : gemini ,taurus and sagittarius | planets : jupiter, sun, moon, venus in the houses of sixth and second.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts and feedbacks !! ♡ do you claim this reading or nah?

pile two

your spirit guides are advising you to be careful to befriend with someone who is new or if you already have friends just be careful telling your secrets or your agenda with them because not all of them are sincere about their actions. however this is someone who have a very feminine energy regarding to what gender they're. an evil person will be on your surroundings this month however when it comes to finances and love some of you will be lucky this season.

i see for some of you, you will going to have new love and relationship also on the other hand i see that someone who is looking at you and stalking for the past months will going to confess their feelings through online or physically, this person is someone who have a great love and longing for you.

for the rest of this pile, i see that you will going to discover new routine where you can share and discuss with your family this routine can deepen the bond between you and your family especially siblings. if you are still in the phase of studying this months will be busy and exhausted for you but by the end of the month you will feel great by the results or there's unexpected gift that is waiting for you by the end of the month.

astrological signs : aquarius, pisces, gemini, virgo, scorpio, libra and leo | planets : sun, moon, rising, saturn, venus, mars and jupiter in the houses of first, fourth and third.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts and feedbacks !! ♡ do you claim this reading or nah?

pile three

some of your manifestation will bring fulfillment or will turn bring out into reality this month just have faith as everything will be working out to your favor. if you are asking a sign to start dieting ; this reading is the sign you've looking for, if you want to have a healthy body and reduce eating those junk foods not only it will benefit your body to stay healthy also your lifestyle while for those people who are looking for a sign and afraid to try, apply or switch a new career this is also a sign that you need to focus in a positive aspects and direction rather than thinking negativity. this season will bring many new beginning for you so all you have to do is claiming and start doing what you want and love, it's time to say goodbye to the old habits and start to say hello to the new ones.

furthermore, you will also be one this new person like a new born baby — you gonna learn to be assertive and might learn on how to stand up for yourself and will learn how to say "no", for some of you pile three, you will gonna stop pleasing people this month/season. also you have a personal healing power within yourself to increase it spend more time with nature and flowers or flower essense.

for the rest of this pile, your spirit guides telling you too that the answer you are looking for can be found when you travel, move, taking vacation or during holiday giveaway.

astrological signs : cancer, aries, pisces, aquarius, virgo, scorpio(show up multiple times💀), taurus and libra (sun, moon, rising) | planets : sun, moon, neptune, saturn, venus, mars in the houses of fifth, seven, twelve, three four and one.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts and feedbacks !! ♡ do you claim this reading or nah?

💌. see you again in the next pac lol kinda busy so sorry for that but will surely upload more, thank you so much for the love and support and to all of your suggestions — i will try my best to make them.

danise xo.

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knickynoo · 2 months

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Hi there! Me again.

I’ve been rewatching Family Ties (thanks again for showing me where!) and noticed something about Alex’s character that i don’t care for/think you have touched upon.

What are your thoughts on his views of women?The advice he gave Jeff on his date with Mallory appalled me. Do you think it’s just a product of the time- how right leaning people were expected/did to treat women? Or is it something deeper? I don’t understand how he thinks this way after seeing how amazing Steven and Elyse are toward each other. (Even if the kids are disgusted every time they kiss lol)

I would love to hear your opinion!

Hello! Nice to hear from you again :)

Yeah, so, a lot of the words that come out of Alex's mouth regarding women are 😬😬😬

I can't recall the exact advice you're referring to, but I do know it's bonkers. Something about how women want a man to make all her decisions or something? Boss her around and take charge? It's honestly not only some of his worst advice, but I also think it's one of the more outrageous things he says in regards to women out of the whole series.

It's especially weird considering he's giving advice on how his sister should be treated by Jeff! And we know that, while Alex isn't always the nicest to Mallory, he loves her very much and wants to protect her. I mean, there's an entire first season episode centered around Alex losing his mind over Mallory going out with a guy who Alex doesn't like or trust. He's so worried about this guy taking advantage of Mallory and not treating her right, then he goes and gives bananas advice to Jeff. So...what's the deal?

Honestly, I don't know, lol. If I had to guess, there are probably several different factors at play that contribute to those moments Alex says Horrible Things.

1. He operates with a set of standards and values from way before his time. The thing is that Alex isn't even a product of his time—a lot of the opinions he holds would be considered outdated in the 80s by the majority of people, regardless of political leaning.

I can't for the life of me remember the episode or the exact quote, so I'm going to butcher it I'm sure, but there's a scene where Alex is lamenting how no one holds the same values he does, and he and Steven have an exchange like this:

Alex: "I should have been born in the 40s."

Steven: "Even then, you'd be a little conservative."

Alex: "The 1740s."

Steven: "....Even then, you'd be a little conservative."

It's something like that. If anyone knows what episode this is from or what the exact line is, lmk because it's one of my favorites.

2. Alex is an extreme black and white thinker. I think this is the number one trait of his that impacts him the most across the board. So many of his problems boil down to him just not seeing nuance. It's not that he's unwilling to. The guy just can't.

It makes Alex very rigid in his thoughts on things, and that absolutely spills over into situations like when he gives advice to Jeff or voices any other wild opinion. He's going to automatically go to the extremes because that's all he can wrap his head around. In a relationship, men should have all the control. They should make the decisions and say specific things and so on. It then leads him to make generalizations about women and their roles.

I think he also finds some security in these thoughts, honestly. Alex clings to facts and things that he feels are concrete and reliable. We also know that he has a very hard time processing and acknowledging his emotions. Putting people into two neat piles is comfortable for him, and anything that doesn't fit into either of those piles is too overwhelming. Alex's world needs rules for it to feel stable to him. Unfortunately, a lot of those rules are...not so great.

3. Shock-value: This is more about Alex the TV show character rather than the "real life" in-universe Alex Keaton, but still. A good deal of his character, especially in the earlier seasons, hinged on him saying or doing things that got a reaction from the audience. You can't have a show about ex-hippy, progressive parents without someone for them to knock heads against. The early episodes in particular seemed to really lean into this, and I feel like he gets toned down slightly as the series goes on? Don't get me wrong, it doesn't go away, but he does grow.

• The "Ladies Man" episode has him realizing that, while he may not support a particular movement, he absolutely respects the rights of the women in the movement. Him jumping up to defend the woman being heckled by a guy, and then his little speech to the women at the end are two of my favorite Alex moments.

• After a very difficult adjustment period when he gets a new job and learns his boss is a woman, Alex ends up really respecting her and becoming friends with her. (Wow, this ep is uncomfortable for the first half, though!)

• Ellen in particular has an impact on helping Alex to see those "in-between" areas, in my opinion. Some heart to hearts with Elyse help as well, and it's clear through the series that Alex loves and respects his mother a great deal.

Idk if this response was coherent, but there you go, haha. Alex is such a complicated character, and whenever I write about him, I feel like I'm trying to untangle a gigantic mess of yarn. But I do love him! Sometimes he is a menace, though!! He should, perhaps, simply keep his mouth shut a lot of the time.

(Also, Steven and Elyse don't discipline him ever, so it's partly their fault if we're being real here)

What? Who said that?

Thanks for the ask!

#asks #family ties #alex p keaton #apk

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celecaster · 15 days

Note

(re: the OCD poste? is that the singular form?)

oh gd we also do the "other people are worse" thing. lol do you have any advice for the other 90% of times because. it's not great

Thank you for spelling it poste (it's poste).

I don't really know if I can say anything helpful in that regard, I think it is clear I am not managing my obsessions very well. I also think that what helps varies by the 'type' of OCD one has. Like in my case my obsessions are exclusively about scrupulousity/morals.

I suppose... the things that help me are kind of a short list:

I avoid people or spaces that dwell a lot on 'morals', especially those that are either 1) very guilt-trippy in tone 2) very 'intellectual' about it [ For me, this sort of thing makes me feel like people treat not only ethical principles but reality as a 'model/framework' instead of something material, and this really bothers me, especially the whole Grand Vision types who implicate moral failings if you do not Change The World or are oriented towards doing so. ].

I try to be more sympathetic and forgiving towards other people [ I feel slightly less inclined to litigate myself for things I wouldn't damn others for ]. There is never going to be any certainty that I am a 'good' person, so I might as well get used to living with the idea that I am an 'evil' person.

This is what I really do with the 'other people are worse' thing: I try to actually avoid assessing those people as bad or worse [ Nobody is worse than me, actually! Haha! ], all that does in the end is 'legitimise' the concept of 'evil' in a way that is disruptive. What is more meaningful here is the recognition that people who have characteristics that I either have myself or that I disapprove of are still accepted and cared for by others. [ The reason this doesn't always help is that depending on my mood that day it can instead just make me fixate on how if those people are cared for and wanted by others then that must mean I'm worse than they are for always being alone... so it's kind of arbitrary. ]

This might be specific to me because of the limerence, but I try not engage closely with people I have an 'unnatural' attachment to. I become more conscious of my feelings around them and I also don't want to 'make' them deal with my compulsive behaviour like reassurance-seeking and excessive disclosure. These people are often not close to me but people who represent a certain moral 'ideal' I have so they can't really understand what I'm talking about.

I suppose a very generic thing is to make small talk with people who have a positive valuation of me. I avoid discussing anything involving my actual obsessions and instead try to consider that if they can tolerate me, then I'm not as 'evil' as I think I am. I think talking about my type of obsessions at length encourages them to reassure me, which only makes things worse.

I think this is something that is better developed 'before' the worst of it because it puts a person who is already uncertain of their ideals more at risk, but having very strong moral convictions and principles from which the 'small' things are derived from helps me because it gives me a 'structure' to evaluate things by.

I imagine this can easily backfire if you're the type of person anxious over 'breaking rules' however, but that is contingent on the type of moral ideals you build up for yourself. I personally think I started managing my emotions better when my personal beliefs shifted towards being more critical of carceral/punitive practices and the idea of 'legitimising' fear.

This is common sense at this point so I do not know if it even matters to say but 'observing' a thought without 'litigating' it is really the crux of it all. Recognising that a thought [ doesn't matter what it is, doesn't matter how you feel about it, not even if you thought about it consciously or enjoyed thinking about it ] is not materially meaningful and cannot be equated to things that actually exist in physical reality is ultimately the most important thing of all.

This is the bane of a lot of OCD advice and discourse that I see: they try to distinguish thoughts and evaluate them as not morally meaningful because they are intrusive, unintentional and untrue, which I think misses the entire point. Qualifying a thought legitimises it. The moment you make a distinction between the Good thoughts and the Bad thoughts you've already lost.

In general, obsessions/compulsions arise when one is already distressed over other things, and it just exhausts you over time. So instead of dealing with the obsessions/compulsions 'directly' I get a lot of utility trying to manage my other problems. Being less anxious overall makes me less anxious about specific things, too.

This isn't really advice. It's just what I do. I do not think these can be recommended to other people to a generalised degree considering most people are not as high-strung as I am.

Avoidance is generally not a good tactic, but it's kind of like the 'intermediary' until you're able to expose yourself to certain things. I used to be, but I'm not anymore, because of the events from last year, so I'm back to square one, and am just repeating the things I did the first time I 'got over' my obsessions. I apologise for not being able to help you much.

#d #OCD

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books-no-bullets · 1 month

Text

Hello! I figured I should make an intro post to make interacting with me easier.

I'm Mack P. Gunnerson, an alter in the Stardust System.

I'm called Junior as a nickname by my headmates for distinction purposes. I also technically answer to Matthew and MatPat.

Bodily and in headspace I am 21+ so please keep that in mind, this blog doesn't need to be rated mature but I am an adult who may talk about adult things. (Suggestive or triggering things will be tagged)

My pronouns are he/him, I am a bi transmasculine man

I am an introject with multiple sources, but my main source I have the most connection with is In Space With Markiplier where I am a fictive of Theory Crew, the background character played by MatPat in part 1. All of my memories from my life in this source are extremely vivid.

My second source is the Theorist Channels as I identify as a fogtive of MatPat.

Another source I have is the FNAF Movie, also being a fictive of Ness, the background character played by MatPat. I am not as connected to this source but I think it's funny

People visiting this blog might find it interesting that my system has another Mack fictive as well, being the version from ISWM part 2.

I like books, tea, fantasy, video games, cats, poetry, romance, stars, space, music, and a good story with meaning and LORE! For some specifics, I like Lord of the Rings, Minecraft, Dungeons and Dragons, FNAF, Markiplier, ragdoll cats, and forget me nots.

I intend to be interactive when I’m active so please feel free to drop an ask or something else! If you do I may respond with a doodle!

Non-Systems

I am represented by (a) fictional character(s) and I do identify as them, and I don't mind you enjoying my experiences as fandom material, but always remember that I am a real human being and these memories are real to me and have real emotion attached to them.

Also, I don't mind talking about my system or sysmates at all, but if you ever have questions for any of them directly you should go to @sad-stardust and ask there!

Please stay respectful if asking questions.

Regarding kins and RP blogs, I don't mind if you interact in or out of character as long as you recognize that you can't be part of my canon, it's not possible; and the existence of my canon doesn't negate yours! We're just from different universes. However, please no doubles of any Mack (in character), it's just a little too much for me and the other one is also uncomfortable with it.

Regarding Syscourse

My system is a traumagenic OSDD multiple-identifying system and we are in continuous and ever-adapting therapy.

I am not very into discourse but for the sake of safety I must make this statement. We are on here to find community with people who understand our struggles with plural identity. Everyone's experiences and journeys are different, so it is not my place to say who is what. If you say you're a system, I'll believe you. The reason or evidence isn't my business. My blog is traumagenic focused because that's my experience, but multi/endogenic safe.

However, I wont be talking about this stuff on my blog other than right here. I just don't want any arguments or nastiness. We are all people, most of us in need of a space of some kind where we can be ourselves. So don't bring discourse or drama onto my blog or any of my affiliated system's blogs.

#alter intro #intro

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writing-whump · 2 months

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Hi Sol — it’s 🌸🌼 anon!

First off, just wanted to quickly say that you have been absolutely KILLING IT with the stories — I could ramble for hours, but I just wanted to say how much I’ve been enjoying all the angst!!

I more so wanted to comment on your most recent ask and put in my 2 cents as a long-time lurker in this community, because I think that it’s a really interesting question and something that I’ve been trying to figure out about myself over the years.

For context, I’m actually autistic (late diagnosed), so I think for me it ultimately comes down to the fact that I experience physical and emotional intimacy differently and this happens to be one of the ways that I express my desire for connection — more specifically, my desire to take care of someone in a vulnerable state/situation.

I think similarly to you, my favourite aspect is the hurt/comfort element (specifically the comfort). The type of whump that I’ve gravitated towards since I was a kid has always been emotional (crying) and emeto. I’ve personally connected it to my brain existing in the extremes (from all-or-nothing thinking), because I think it’s the aspect of a person losing control in those types of situations (and thus becoming more vulnerable) that triggers that overwhelming desire to fall into that caretaker role.

But for me, the only people that I’ve felt comfortable seeking out/expressing this type of intimacy with has always exclusively been those who I am physically/romantically/sexually attracted to — which for me, is men. So in terms of the writers in this community whose blogs I keep up with, while there are other factors (such as the romance, writing, and world-building), I feel like my interest is mainly driven by my attraction to the characters — with regards to your stories, those characters for me happen to be Isaiah, Matthew, and Hector (which is largely influenced by how well you’ve written & fleshed them out)!

I’m sorry if this was too personal, long, or uninteresting to read. I just found the question and your response to it so fascinating. Even though it wasn’t my question, I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to answer it, as it’s allowed me to figure out & not be ashamed of this part of myself a little more. Once again just wanted to say that you’ve been doing such phenomenal work with the stories — it’s been such a wonderfully angsty journey with all your lovely characters!! ❤️❤️

Aww, 🌸🌼nonny!

Thank you so much for sending this!! It's incredibly interesting to hear another perspective of someone who understands, about how you feel and what works for you! Not me reading this four times in a row at 5am lol

Like anything from whump to emeto is very personal in a way I think and this contributes to my impression the community is very accepting and open-minded trying to accommodate all sorts of people? And that everyone has total right to their very invidual reasons for liking things?

I was very insecure about that answer, but at the same time typing it down was also helpful. This extra deep insight into your experience is very encouraging, thank you so much for sending it✨️ I feel you with the comfort and the unstoppable aspect of it upping up the vulnerability and the desire of connection. Emotional and crying whump def has lots of parallels with that, I didn't realize until you said it!

There must be something about whump fans enjoying to whump their "faves", writers putting especially their most beloved OCs through the most turmoil and pain (this is often how affection towards the OC manifests, even), or all those memes about "cute boy, I want him bloody". So the attraction factor is likely at play there a lot. I totally get that, I do that too.

In my case in particular I think there is an issue with romantic love seemingly the most selfish to me that contributes/creates its own focus? Like platonic and family love feels kinder in a way, with less expectations and demands for the relationship exchange to be balanced? I have not quite yet found a way to explain my fascination with platonic affection and brotherly like relationships lol.

Anyway, thank you so much for talking this through with me and I'm so honoured it might have helped a bit too!

And THANK YOU SO MUCH for your kind words about my stories!! I'm so glad you are enjoying the angst and the three boys in particular there!🙈😊❤️

#ask #whump meta

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myersesque · 1 year

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so i just watched the season 1 finale of the last of us and i have thoughts and opinions about the discussion of joel's suicide attempt, so tw for that (and warning for my tendency to ramble):

i really, REALLY like how they handled it here. i remember there being a bit of dialogue in the game where joel implies he's attempted before - something or other about it being harder than it looks, if i remember correctly? - but i wasn't expecting it to make it to the show, and tbh i'm kinda glad that they A) included it and B) did it so differently.

maybe it's odd to be glad that a character i love so dearly has a whole scene discussing his suicide attempt - but i do think it's somewhat important to his character. joel is incredibly family-oriented; think back to "you're not her dad, but you were someone's". the podcast is constantly discussing the fatherly instincts that joel is trying to repress, in the aborted moves to comfort her and the softening of his edges when he realises she's scared. in this scene, he outright states that he attempted suicide after losing sarah - "you keep going for family," and he had very little left. establishing this part of his history helps to understand just how hopeless he was before meeting ellie, and juxtaposes the happiness of the prior scenes. he's talking to ellie the same way we saw him talk to sarah. however unintentionally, she's given him a sense of family, and by extension, a reason to live.

is that entirely healthy? no! but joel and ellie's dynamic has always been a bit codependent and unhealthy. the choice of "never let me down again" as the song closing out the first episode was very intentional - in the podcast they specifically note that joel and ellie constantly let each other down and make each other worse. their relationship is loving and familial, yes, but it will never be perfect - putting two lit fuses together doesn't remove the bomb risk.

as stated earlier, i'm also really glad they handled this scene so differently vs the throwaway dialogue used in the game. both pedro pascal and craig mazin have discussed the show's difference in characterisation for joel, how they wanted to dig beneath his traditional protagonist masculinity and find the vulnerability there - i think this scene is a great example of that. game joel, as much as i love him, is a lot more closed-off than his show counterpart, even in his more emotional moments - the dialogue he had discussing this part of his past always struck me as somewhat dismissive, like he didn't want to talk about it, whereas pedro's joel is incredibly open about it.

i can imagine that joel's characterisation may be a bit divisive for some people, but as someone who has always loved joel? i honestly think i might prefer pedro's take on the character. not just in moments like this, but throughout the whole show, he manages to balance repression with vulnerability, coldness with warmth, the ruthlessness of a survivor with the heart of someone's dad who laughs at bad puns and gets giddy over presents.

i dunno. i'm kinda rambling at this point. tl;dr: love joel, love the decisions this show made regarding his character, and cannot wait for season 2.

#og #suicide tw #tlou hbo spoilers #tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers #tlou #the last of us #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #joel miller #pedro pascal

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spocks-evil-godmother · 1 year

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just some tuvok thoughts

tuvok is my favorite voyager character (sorry seven) and i think he is just great, and specifically i think he is great in how he relates to other people. to maybe give voice to the thing i am thinking of, it is that tuvok is interesting because he is the third iteration of a chief of security and the second vulcan to have a like really central role.

to the latter point, this is very obviously because leonard nimoy as spock was just SO iconic and so defining for TOS that i think it was very fair for TNG especially to avoid adding a vulcan and risk a sense of "redoing" the character (because everyone would hate that) and together with DS9 creating a distinct and fleshed-out universe that didn't necessarily revolve around the same exact themes of TOS. as sequels, not reboots, they could wander into their own territory and make their own way, which meant not looking at vulcans as a very central part of the stories. i get why they waited until VOY.

when it comes to the chief of security part, that is interesting then because finally, we return to vulcans, who have not been people on the main cast since TOS, placed in this bridge officer role that did not exist on TOS. tasha yar was the first COS, then worf, and then odo. in the case of all three characters, i feel like there is something fairly unVulcan about all of them. yar sought out security as a resolution to a chaotic childhood filled with violence; safety is a profoundly emotional experience for her. worf's central arc generally relates to becoming an honorable warrior—though interpersonally worf can be standoffish or brusque, when there is a cultural expectation for emotional display in battle, worf always rises to the occasion. odo, like worf, can be brusque (perhaps even harsh, or cold). i feel like there's something to be said about how perhaps ideally we would read these characters as being fairly unemotional—but then, when I think about how much they display anger (not necessarily inappropriately! just that they are often angry or annoyed) I think that isn't true at all. in fact, between all those characters, i feel like they together make the case that to be a good chief of security (or warrior, or defender of justice) you must be angry, because your anger makes you both powerful and attuned to the needs of those you love, when they need you. worf and odo love BIG.

enter tuvok, who does not experience love (or love, as we might feel it).

though equally impersonal and detached as the others, in some regards, tuvok has none of the big love or big anger that his forerunners have held. he is vulcan, and the last vulcan we've seen on a bridge has shown how well-suited vulcans are to be dispassionate scientists, just the facts please and thank you. what would motivate a logical, unemotional being to become a defender?

and like on a practical level, i don't know. backstory is whatever. but i think if i am asking myself, what does logic bring to the role of protector?, then my answer is evaluation.

obviously i am just ranting and raving about tuvok because i watched the season 2 episode "innocence" today BUT this episode really does encapsulate what i love in him and i think what the writers wanted us to love in him as well. certainly, there is a lot of humor in mr. very serious being confronted with three children who just want to play play play!!! but there is a lot of seriousness there, too. it's very serious that tuvok runs into frightened children and says, i will stay with you and watch over you. it is serious that they tell him there is a monster in the darkness and they are afraid of it, and he says, my sensors do not detect the presence of a monster, but the absence of readings does not confirm the absence of a monster; i will stay with you and watch over you. and it is serious still that when a little girl who is afraid of dying alone asks him to save her, he assures her that he cannot interrupt her natural life cycle but understands that she will only feel safe enough to leave if he is with her; i will stay with you and watch over you.

in no moment is tuvok himself taken over by his emotions. he calmly evaluates every situation. he listens to the children. he soothes them. and, as strange as it seems, he entertains their fears. he admits that he cannot confirm the nonexistence of a monster, but if there is a monster it is not nearby so it's okay to sleep and if it comes nearby he will be awake to chase it away. i think what is the most stunning thing about tuvok is that he is sympathetic to but completely unafraid of the children's emotions. are they like kinda annoying him, sure. but he accepts their emotions as they are—he does not feel pressured by their fear to change his own behavior. and his ability to evaluate it all, the situation, the children, the future, is the thing that creates the sense of safety that ultimately allows the children to die peacefully.

this episode's probably most iconic moment (or maybe i just think about it all the time idk) is when a child asks him if being vulcan means he doesn't love his own children, and tuvok replies, "My attachment to my children cannot be described as an emotion. They are part of my identity, and I am incomplete without them."

we could make a whole post about that, if we wanted, but i gotta go to bed. instead, i would just posit that the same is true for the identity tuvok has built for himself as a chief of security and a defender. his motives in protecting others are not because of an emotion. he is not angry, or sad, or scared, or upset. but it is logical to maintain the safety of a community to maintain to order of a community—and through experience and effort he has learned how to evaluate whether or not something is safe.

and, i think, if you are a little child, and you think, maybe there is a monster going to eat me, and possibly this is the scariest thing that has ever happened to you, the kindest thing a grown-up can do is say "i don't see any monsters, but i am prepared in the event that they show up. i will stay with you and watch over you. good night."

#tuvok #star trek #star trek: voyager #voy #mitch pitch #long post #star trek: voyager “innocence”#innocence

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genderqueerdykes · 1 year

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Hello! First off - love your blog, and thank you for taking the time to answer so many asks so thoughtfully- that’s a lot of mental and emotional labor and although this is the first time I’ve sent you an ask, I really appreciate your thoughtful responses from other asks, it’s given me the courage to send you this.

I am non-binary/transmasc, and I have a lot of dysphoria around my period/menstruating. I get horrible mood swings for about a week before, then 1-2 days of intense pain and cramping where I’m pretty much immobilized by pain. If it was financially possible, I would just take all that plumbing out. I am 35 and honestly it feels like my period has just gotten progressively worse over the years.

I have toyed with the idea of hormones off and on, but the impression I got from reading about other people’s experiences is that you don’t really know what you’re gonna get out of hormones until you try them, and some things are not so easy to undo. Like, in a perfect world I’d love a deeper voice and a bit of masculinization in my face and mainly to not get periods anymore, but there are some effects of T that I would not enjoy (like facial hair, it would be a huge sensory problem for me). And I don’t identify as a man so pushing me too far in that direction would just be a different kind of dysphoria.

Do you have any suggestions or thoughts on any ways to reduce my period dysphoria, or anecdotes on what small doses of T might do for me? Just feeling pretty frustrated and like there’s not really any good answer here since I don’t want all the effects of T.

im glad you're taking the time to consider that's very good!

sorry to hear you have so much dysphoria regarding menstruation, i understand, it's a very shitty thing to go thru and many people who aren't trans hate it or experience dysphoria around that time as well. i believe there are some types of birth control like IUDs and whatnot that can reduce how much you menstruate. i would advise talking to an obgyn/gynecologist if you are interested in seeing if there are ways to reduce how much you menstruate or if there are ways to make it more bearable for you. there is also the possibility of a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) as well, if that's something you're considering. that may be a better option that T for you.

i think it's good that you're aware of your boundaries as a trans person. no trans person is under any obligation to take HRT unless taking HRT is specifically what will ease their dysphoria. the thing with T is most people will get the same types of general effects in varying degrees so if you do not want changes to your facial structure like your brow ridge, cheek bones and jaw, body fat distribution, muscle mass density, body/facial hair, bottom growth, and so on, then T really isn't right for you.

i would say for you it would probably be best to look into voice training for transmascs, and definitely talk to a gynecologist about your situation regarding your monthly. you don't have to be a trans guy to get a hysterectomy, if you truly do want to get that removed! i hope you're able to get things sorted out, best of luck to you, take care, stay safe

#asks #answers #dysphoria #menstruation mention #menstruation tw #periods tw #period mention #surgery mention #surgery tw #doctor mention #doctor tw #gynecologist mention #nonbinary #enby #transmasc #transmasculine #periods #menstruation

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