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kamiiiii11 · 2 years

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Okay so i started an Edward Nashton/Riddler x Reader while i was super fixate on the riddler and ive just now rediscovered it and im here to ask if i should continue it? Or like maybe rewrite it. Anyways here's everything that was in the notes:

Before i start this i would just like to sayyy

1. This is the first fanfic ive ever written however i have written stories so im not completely new to this

2. If i make any mistakes please tell me

3. If my friends find this ill cry

4. THERE WILL N O T BE ANY SMUT IN THIS I DONT WRITE STUFF LIKE THAT

5. This is based off of Paul Dano's riddler since i havent seen enough of that on here..

6. I plan on throwing in some song references in here lets see who can get them all!!

7. Y/n is trans ftm just thought id put that out there

8. I do not have an actual schedule as to when I'll be posting, should be at least one chapter a week though ❤

'IT IS ALWAYS NICE TO SEE YOU'

Y/n was a 25 year old boy working the graveyard shift at his only job, an old diner. They barely got an customers but to be fair who's going to go a diner anytime between 10pm and 7am except maybe the last hour. They were going into work as usual, about an hour early this time because their coworker had an emergency. Y/n didnt mind much though since he didnt have anyhting else to do.

"Hey- be careful with him. He's a regular but he always seems off" Clarice said while taking off her apron and grabbing her jacket.

"He's reading from a crossword book, I think I'll be fine thank you Clarice" You were grabbing your nametag you kept behind the counter to make sure you dont lose it 'Y/n he/they' it said on it in a black font.

"Just stay safe y/n." She finished getting ready to leave as you nodded and watched her walk out the back. The 'strange' man didnt have anything infront of him except for a small journal, a crossword book, and a pen. Naturally since it is your job, you walk up to him

"Hello, what can i get for you if you have not yet already been served?" You stared at the man that sat infront of you as the counter/bar stools, he had light brown hair, clear framed glasses, and a dark green jacket on. You had to be honest with yourself he was pretty attractive, nothing to be too scared to talk to him over though. He looked up from his puzzles

"Oh- uh- hm. Just a coffee and do you guys maybe have any pumpkin pie?" Why did he seem so nervous? He's the one who sat at a counter instead of his own booth, no one else was here so he wouldnt be taking up unnecessary space.

"We do! So just a coffee and pumpkin pie for pumpkin?" Ew what was that?!??! That was so cheesy oh my god

"Uh- ye-yeah. Thank you-" he blushed at the nickname andlooked at your nametag with your pronouns on it, one good part about this diner is all nametags have pronouns on them which the customers generally respect. "Sir." He smiled and quickly looked back down at his book.

You'd nod and quckly turn around and start getting his order, starting the coffee machine and getting his pie while waiting.

"Here you are" you placed a plate with a single piece of pie topped with a bit of whipped cream infront of him. The man just nods and starts eating. It wasnt long before the coffee was done and you put it next to the plate, earning a quiet 'thank you' this time. "Soooo whats your name?" You leaned against the counter, he looked up and stared back at you.

"Do you like riddles?" You stared at him blankly

"I'd like to say im good at them so yeah-?"

"Get this one right and I'll tell you my name, i am something you own but everyone else uses way more than you, what am i?" You took a minute to think.

"Your name? I know ive heard that one but im not sure if thats the right answer i havent done riddles si-" you got cut off.

"My name is Edward, nice to meet you y/n." How did he know my name-? Oh wait my nametag he laughed quietly as if he could hear your thoughts, in reality the expression said them for you. He started to reach into his pockets as if looking for something. "Uh-"

"Are you alright Ed?"

"Y-yeah i just seemed to have forgotten my wallet." He had a worried expression as he looked up at you, he obviously didnt plan this so hey why not be nice? Clarice said he was a regular anyway.

"They're both on the house today, dont worry" You smiled and took his cup and plate.

"I can pay you back later? When are your hours i can probably be here at some point-"

"10 to 7 on friday, every weekday" I kind of just want to see him again i really dont think its so important that he pays me back he only got a coffee and a slice of pie

"See youuu- uhh- tomorrow?"

"Again, im here everyweekday so yes ed" youd smile and wave as he walked out. Well he was- sweet. Clarice was wrong about him being weird, he wasnt completely normal but he didnt seem like anything to be concerned about.

The rest of your shift was normal, boring yeah, but normal. Once it was over your grabbed your jacket and were on your way home. Due to it being 7am there was many people out unless it was cars and places opening, no one wanted to walk anywhere this early and you couldn't blame them because you wouldnt want to either. As soon as you got into your apartment you took off your black sneakers and raced to your bedroom to change. The outfit was quite uncomfortable after a while, at first it was fine but then you break it in and its just blah at that point. Once changed you set your alarms for 5pm so you could have time to do your shopping, and still have some spare time you considered spending on the music shop. You passed it everyday to and from work and had always wanted to go there, you could see records through the clear glass windows and youve always thought about it since. You slowly drifted off thinking about everything you'd do when you woke up.

WE'RE SWITCHING TO Y/N'S POV BC THIS ONE IS JUST UGLY TO ME I STRONGLY DISLIKE WRITING LIKE THIS

As my alarm went off in my ear i quickly shot up, looking around the room before turning off the alarm. I sat there for a minute or two debating on whether or not I should eat before or if i should just wait until my shift at the diner. Folding the corner of my bedding to let myself up I slowly get up and get dressed, dreading having to be awake. Work itself wasn't too bad but I never got much sleep from it being at such odd times, its never really allowed me to have friends since im basically nocturnal at this point. To be fair though I dont really want friends, I have bigger things to worry about than my social life. Plus I talk to people all night at work it kinda makes up for it, yk? Anyways after getting dressed I go to the bathroom to do my eyeliner, boys can wear makeup too and to be quite frank I even have a slight confidence boost when im wearing it therefore if anyone has a problem with it they can suck my non existent dick. I grab my things including my phone off the side of my bed, I dont know why I check the notifications no one has my number except Clarice and Elliot who both only call me when they want a day off or for me to come in early. I barely hear from or see Elliot however he's still my boss and I need to 'respect' that, Clarice says.

Walking out of my apartment I see a familiar figure in the distance, Ed? I walk faster in hopes to pass him without him reckognizing me, yeah he was nice at the diner but I dont know him enough to want to hang out or talk to him outside of work. I quickly walk past him with my head down but turned back to see him without thinking.

"Can i help you??" Oh thank god it wasnt him

"Sorry I thought you were someone else.." I turn back around and quickly leave the appartment building.

#edward nashton #edward nygma #paul dano #riddler x reader

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ladydevoir · 3 years

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Weiss coming out as trans to her team?

The halls of Beacon were quiet as Weiss walked through, though she was glad for the peace as her mind was swimming in thought. She was silently dreading returning to her dorms, knowing what was waiting for her. But, she had decided tonight was the night, and she would not cower away from what she had decided to do. Best to get it over with rather than continuing to let her dread grow. Soon a voice broke her train of thought. “Hey Weiss~!” She looked back as the owner of the voice caught up to her, a plastic bag in hand. “Hello Nora, It’s good to see you. I see your trip to Vale was productive.” Nora beamed back at her with her usual energy. “Good to see you too~ And heck yeah it was~ Me and Ren found that cute coffee shop you told us about, Jaune actually managed to not throw up on the ride there, though he was wasnt as lucky on the way back, and me and Pyrrha went shopping for our dresses for the dance~ Oh, and here’s the stuff you wanted~” Nora held up the back for Weiss who took it and looked through it, a set of razors and shaving cream along with some skin care for after. “Thank you very much Nora. Im afraid I was starting to run low, and our team won’t be free to travel to Vale for a few days. Please, what do I owe you?” As she began to sift through her bag for her purse, Nora held up her hand. “Nuh uh uh, you dont owe me anything. Girls like us gotta stick together after all, and you’d do the same for me~” Nora’s usual high energy voice had softened as she spoke, to which Weiss was grateful. Since coming to Beacon she had been nervous about the truth coming out about her, thankfully Nora had seen through her immediately and been a true pillar of support. Weiss had been surprised and rather relieved when Nora had revealed she was just like her, and in moments like this it was wonderful to have someone to talk to and help her without any worry about questions she was not particularly wanting to answer. As if sensing some unease, Nora gently squeezed her shoulder and nodded her head towards a small bench in the hall. As the two sat down, Nora spoke up. “Hey, you doing ok? You seem off.” Weiss sighed and nodded. “I am just...nervous. I promised myself that tonight would be the night I tell the rest of my team, the truth about me.” Nora watched Weiss’s expression, seeing the build up of worry on her face. “You know the others aren’t going to suddenly turn on you just because of this, right? I cant imagine this would be a big deal for Ruby or Yang, and I doubt Blake would mind really.” Weiss let out another sigh and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes before responding. “I am fully aware that no one on my team will be upset or treat me any different.” “So...whats the problem then?” Weiss looked down, her eyes darting left and right to make sure there was no one else listening, before she spoke. “When Blake accidentally revealed that she was a Faunus, I….did not handle the news with grace. I accused her of having lied to us, keeping the truth hidden from us. And while I did apologise for it afterwards, I still cannot take back what I said. And that is why I am worried. I was so quick to accuse her of lying and hiding the truth and yet here I am, having done the very same thing since starting Beacon.” Her hands gripped one another as she looked down, shaking slightly. “My standing with Blake and the others is not exactly on stable terms, and I am afraid that revealing myself after all I said to Blake might cause more strife between us.” Nora listened quietly as she gave Weiss’s back a gentle rub. Thinking carefully before responding. “If you’re this worried, then why now? Why not wait?” Weiss took a deep breath and looked straight ahead, as if steeling herself for it. “Because I owe it to my team to be honest with them, especially after how I overreacted to Blake. I cannot allow myself to hide the truth any longer, even if…” She looked down at her hands, starting to tremble. Instantly Nora knelt down in front of her and gently cupped her face, speaking softly. “Hey hey, dont go working yourself

up over ifs and maybes. Sure, you said some things, but you said sorry, and they forgave you. Im sure they wont be bothered by this. And if things go south, hey you can always just join our team~! Though we’d need to work out how to include W to JNPR~” Weiss let out a sniffle and smiled, raising her head from Nora’s hands and slowly standing, Nora instantly hugging the girl, to which Weiss reciprocated. “Nora, thank you so much. You have been a wonderful friend to me and I cannot repay you enough.” Nora pulled back from the hug with a wide smile, her usual energy returning. “Hey come-on, thats what friends do, we look out for one another~” Weiss picked up the bag from the ground and nodded back, the two girls walking back to the dorms, idle chatter filling the time before they arrived, Nora giving a big thumbs up before entering her room, leaving Weiss with her hand on the handle, taking a deep breath before entering the room, barely having time to duck as a pillow came flying towards her, narrowly missing as she looked upon the scene. Ruby holding a pillow and swinging hazardly at Yang, who weaved out of the way and returned with her own swing, before the two registered Weiss and stopped. “Hey Weiss! You wanna join in~? Blake might join if its two on two~” Ruby chirped excitedly, her energy seemingly limitless. “Yeah come-on princess, I’ll be more than happy to whoop your butt as well as my little sis’s~” Yang said with a smirk on her face, before dodging a well timed throw from Ruby. Weiss sighed and picked up the pillow that had nearly hit her and closed the door, shaking her head. “Honestly it is a wonder how the two of you are considering becoming huntresses when you act like little children.” “Ah cmon Weiss-y, you gotta have a little fun now and then, whats the point of life if you stay ridged all the time~?” Weiss shook her head and made her way to her bed, placing the pillow onto it and sitting, restless as her worry was building up again. “Weiss? Are you..ok?” Weiss looked up startled at the last member of the team over on her bed, slowly closing her book and focusing her attention on her. “You seem….kinda tense.” Weiss took a breath to help calm her nerves as her other two teammates looked over, all showing a similar sign of concern. “Actually Blake, I need to talk to you. All of you, if that is ok?” Yang flopped down onto Blake’s bed and looked over at her, while Ruby sat down beside her, all eyes on her. “Whats wrong Weiss? Blake’s right, you’re looking real tense.” Weiss’s eyes focused on her hands as she fidgeted, trying to come up with the right words. She silently cursed herself, this should not be this hard. A hand coming to rest on her knee drew her from her thoughts as she looked over at her partner, a soft-yet warm smile on her face. “It’s ok Weiss, whatever’s wrong, you know we’re here for you, right?” Weiss felt herself relax slightly, thankful for her partner’s kind words. “Okay, I do not know how to properly say this, so please, be patient with me.” With a reaffirming nod from Ruby and an audible “Mhm” from Yang, she continued. “The truth is...I have not been entirely honest with the rest of you. And for that, I am sorry to all of you, but mostly, I am sorry to Blake.” Blake looked over, confused. “Weiss, what are you-” Weiss raised her hand to stop Blake, taking a breath. “I was not at all kind to you when you revealed the truth about yourself, despite the fact that in doing so, I was being extremely hypocritical myself. Ive been hiding a truth myself, and after all that has been said and done, I feel I owe it to all of you to be honest.” Weiss took a quick glance at her team, Yang’s expression was clear confusion, Ruby was still giving her the same calming smile, while Blake had become more focused on her. She took a deep breath and continued. “The truth is, I….was not born a girl.” Weiss waited for a response from the others, but when none came, she looked up at her three teammates. Yang looked somewhat shocked, Blake still had her focused look on her, though it was clear she hadnt

expected that. Ruby however, didnt seem shocked or surprised in the slightest. “So, like Nora?” Weiss nodded, and to her surprise found herself being wrapped in her partner’s embrace. “Aww Weiss, you dont have to be nervous, its not like we’d think of you any diferent, ya know?” Yang looked over, shaking off her shocked look and sitting forward. “Yeah, Rubes is right, you’re still our icy princess after all, right Blake?” Blake looked over at Weiss, her expression no longer one of shock, but of understanding. “You were worried I’d be mad at you, werent you?” Ruby and Yang looked to one another as Weiss nodded slightly. “I acted like you lying to us about yourself was such a big deal when I have been lying this entire time.” Weiss continued to hang her head. “Its ok Weiss, really. You already apologised more than enough times for me to know you mean it. And I get it, really. Growing up where you did, I know that kind of thinking isnt easy to get rid of.” Blake shifted herself and stood up. “But, you’re wrong about something.” Weiss looked up hesitantly as Blake stepped over to her, kneeling down in front of her. “You haven’t lied to any of us.” Weiss looked taken aback, not sure what to make of that. It was far from what she had expected Blake to say. “I...I am not sure I follow.” Blake smiled at her softly, resting her hands gently over Weiss’s. “You havent lied to us, because you arent pretending to be something you arent. You’re a girl Weiss, even if you weren’t born one. You haven’t hidden anything from us. From day one, you have been honest to us.” Yang soon walked over, sitting on the other side of Weiss. “Blake’s right, ya know? You’ve always been honest with us about who you are, and you didnt have to feel like you owed us to tell us.” She felt her eyes begin to well up, she knew they would accept her but she had fully expected Blake to be mad at her. To find not only was she not mad, but giving Weiss words of kindness and understanding as she had, it felt overwhelming. Said team was quick to embrace her as she felt a few tears flow, a small smile on her face. “T-thank you, all of you. I-I suppose I should not have been worrying so much over this.” Ruby gave her a gentle squeeze. “Well, worrying about things too much is something you’re best at.” “Hey!” They all laughed as they remained in their embrace, Weiss giving a gentle chuckle. Of course Nora has been right, she shouldn’t have been worried about hypothetical ifs and maybes, especially not with her team. A team that, day by day, Weiss would consider more and more her real family. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whooo boy, this, this was a tough one. Im proud of how her talk with Nora went at the beginning, I felt like I wrote that well, and yeah I HC Nora as trans. But writing her coming out to her team, I kept erasing and redoing parts because I really did not know how to do it right. This is one I feel like I should come back to when ive gotten some more experience writing.

#rwby #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #nora valkyrie

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crazygaysex · 3 years

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incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte

i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.

honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense

also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better

butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man

#x #iasip #i need to go to slepep now

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sarahmariepoet · 5 years

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Outed by force

Well, it happened. I had to come out to my mom. I wasnt ready. I was so not ready. I didn't have a choice though.

The clinic I go to that specializes in LGBT+ care destroyed any trust I had in them, which admittedly was lowering anyway, by sending out a letter with my chosen name HANDWRITTEN on it.

Thankfully, the nurse who did it told me today at my appointment before it even arrived. I called out from work because of how distraught I was. I'm still a bit of a wreck, to be honest.

My choice was taken. When I called work, I told them I needed to figure some things as I may end up getting kicked out. Why did I tell them this? Because I wasn't sure how this conversation with my mom would go.

I'm 32 years old but I'm largely dependent on my aunt and my mom. I'm buying a car (YES!) but still, I live at home and have had to use my aunt's car to get to and from work.

My aunt is homophobic and transphobic. I know this because of the things she has said. My mother, the one I would be outed to, is who I wasn't quite sure of and didn't want to put between myself and my aunt. Worse, what if my mom didn't choose me? Or, what if she chose to hold onto the idea of her son?

My backup plan of where to live fell through when my friend at the time, who is a lesbian, decided to say she was saved and "no longer of that lifestyle". The group I went to previously didn't feel like the right fit for me because I didn't feel wanted or like I was good enough.

My therapist is great. She's supportive and there for me, but that isn't really a friendship. That's what I want most of all. The people at work are great but that's work. That isn't friendship.

Friendship is hard though when you can't be yourself and you're constantly holding a part of you, maybe even everything about yourself, back and afraid to show it.

I was nervous about painting my nails until I did it, but that's my choice. I was nervous about wearing a purse until I did it, but that's my choice. This...this was not my choice. This was me having been put in a corner by a medical institution that's supposed to be there for me.

They betrayed my trust. By doing so, they had made me reach a breaking point. A few days ago, the phlebotomist asked for my information while on a video call with some person she knew. I don't know who they are. They could sell my information. Isn't that a HIPPA violation? I put in a complaint.

Today, the doctor told me I don't need a full physical when I asked for one and said they could do a check for cholesterol levels if I wanted. She then lectured me that I should come out to my mother and leaves. A few moments later the nurse comes in and tells me she sent out a letter with my chosen name handwritten on it and sent to my address. I put in another complaint.

Keep in mind, both the doctor and nurse know about my living situation. My aunt hasn't been here as she is out of town visiting her daughter and son in law. My fears of being kicked out are legitimate but they're scoffed at. "Never underestimate a mother's love" doesn't really apply when there are mothers who HAVE thrown out their children.

Now, I was going to have my bloodwork done after the appointment since I couldn't do it before the appointment. Mind you, the doctor seemed unsure at first about even having it done ("I don't think much changed"). How would you know? We didn't test since before the last appointment.

As I sat there with the ticket in hand, I truly wondered why I even bothered to stay. I got up and left. That's when I made my way back to the house, potentially for the last time. Was the nurse lying? Was a letter really sent? Did she really fuck my life up? I told her and my doctor about not addressing letters. In fact, I even had the same nurse change a doctors note for work to my legal name. I know you see a lot of patients but come on...

Near the house, I pulled over and called the trans helpline. They seemed nice but didn't really have much advice past the standard resources that places usually send. It felt like I was forcing the conversation along though. Can't they give me some advice? Show some sympathy? Not seem unsure what to say? I can't be the only transgender person who was forcefully outed, right?

That's when I made a decision. If I was going to be outed anyway, I was damn well not going to be outed by a letter in the mail. Especially when both my mom and I get emails from the postal service about what mail is on the way.

No. If I had to be outed, I was going to out myself. I suspected she knew but I wasn't ready to come out yet. I needed to prepare myself but I had no time. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. If I didn't do it now, who knows what would happen? If I did do it now, who knows what would happen?

And so, I made my way back to the house. I spoke with my mom and told her that I'm transgender and pansexual. I explained what these terms meant. I didn't do the best and avoided eyesight at first and stumbled over my words. It was messy. It wasn't perfect.

I sent her links to resources and I probably gave her too much information at once. It turns out though that a month ago she discovered a letter in the car that I thought I had brought back in. It listed my hormone levels.

She told me that she would always love me. She told me that, despite my chosen name, she would probably still refer to me as my birth name. Althiugh, she had also previously referred to me as 'she' a few weeks ago. She didn't kick me out but she doesn't fully accept or understand yet. Hopefully that changes and she fully accepts me, but I am unsure.

One thing I do know is that I am truly hurt about how I was forced to come out. It hurts because the choice was taken from me. Yes, I could have waited but then what? What would have been better? The truth is I'm not perfect and I can only do so much. I was forced into this decision and I didn't have a choice.

Oh, and she had asked for advice from my other aunt and uncle, both of whom have, for years, not called or checked up on me. Our relationship has long been distant. He told her she should 'confront' me immediately. She didn't. She spent time calming down and praying.

I don't know what time will bring, but I do know that I need to think on all of this. I feel alone because I can't be myself and I can't be myself because I feel alone.

#lgbtq #lgbtqa #lgbtpride #lgbtq community #being outed

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pearlrebs · 7 years

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I guess i wasnt very clear. Easy to seem angry over the internet unintentionally. I mean to say; rebs url (a small thing) represented something to us. Xe left and we all really miss xer. Xe mattered to us and was a special part of tjlc. 1/8

In many peoples eyes this is an aggressive act. Im sure that you can see at least a little how we would see it that way. 2/8

I wasnt implying that you are not queer or that i hate queers. i was saying that, this is the internet, im not going to always believe everything everyone tells me. 3/8

Most queers i know, try and stick together despite our differences. And the fact that you seem very angry (could be reading into it) at a group of people who are predominately queer tells me that you COULD be something other than queer. 4/8

As you yourself said this is just a tv show...but its more than that isnt it? Why you spend so much thought throwing shade at rebs or the tjlcers or whoever, tells me that theres something else going on and that it is important. 5/8

banding together with like-minded people is the solution to the political shitfest we are in. I'd like to think that we could work thru our differences to reach our common goals assuming, we have common goals. (if im wrong, please let me know) 6/8

I dont see myself as a victim, im only sad. not in a pitying way. Its hard to describe. You were probably the victim of an angry tjlcer on here or witnessed the chaos and theres really no excuse for hatefullness (im admonishing my own camp here). 7/8

debate, yes, but never being mean just to be mean. That doesnt get anyone anywhere. I hope this makes sense and im not trying to offend you. I just think life is too short to hate. And its sad that there has been much on here. 8/8

I’m actually not angry, I think it’s all kinda funny. Though I do try my best to respond seriously to serious messages. The “go fuck yourself”s will always be met with a “sounds good,” but when someone takes the time to send a message like this, I tend to pay attention. Anyways...

First you say you’re not going to always believe everything everyone tells you, then you turn around and say that the tj//lc group is predominantly queer. Who’s telling you that? Hard evidence? Demographics data? A census taken by a neutral third party to determine age range and sexuality, and what direction they believe the show should go? As I answered someone before: anecdotal evidence is inadmissible in science and court for a reason. Of course since you’re a lesbian (a factoid gleaned from your profile, but if this is inaccurate, please inform me. But I could easily say you’re not, but I don’t, because when someone tells me they’re queer, I believe them, who the hell wants to be in a [most places on the globe] hated minority? [by “hated,” I mean high risk of murder, bullying, and homelessness, and possibly being a criminal act depending on where you live]), your experience is going to be skewed towards finding other queer people. You think the group is predominantly queer people, but from the outside looking in, even as a queer person, I’ve mostly seen a bunch of straight women geeking over two middle aged white dudes possibly touching dicks, and using “representation” as a mask. I haven’t mingled with your community — I’ve got my own, who are and aren’t queer all the same.

And again, I say that with full knowledge that it is anecdotal evidence from my viewpoint and experience. I could be wrong. But that doesn’t mean you’re right either.

Moving on. Most queer people (I don’t like the term “queers” personally, but as a queer person, you can reclaim that word however you want) you know stick together despite the differences. Okay. But if our difference is that you don’t think I deserve rights, or that my life is somehow worth less than a straight person’s (voting Dump/Pence, specifically Mike Pence, who would rather a gay person go to a conversion camp — where the risk of suicide is nearly 70% — than be gay), then that’s not a “difference.” That’s almost a hate crime (and it actually is in some countries).

I assume you and I have similar goals — stop the carney-handed mango. I assume all but the 14% of LGBT people who did vote for that cheeto in a wig, do. Hence why I make a point of saying I don’t hate Rebs as a person (although the fact that xer Patreon is still up, and xe’s still collecting money, despite the fact xe’s publicly declared xe has no intention on ever making videos again, and even taking the existing ones down, is a little less than the perfect angel everyone is insisting that xe is).

Tbh, maybe I tend to befriend more queer people irl, but you know what else is important? Straight allies. To me, being LGBT+ is a description of where I put my genitals/my gender identity, and I don’t exactly bond with people over that. A shared struggle, yes, and if I see a queer person being bullied, I will step in. I can support a gay man’s rights, even if that gay man is going out there campaigning for the orangutan in a suit (and some did). I’ll say he should be allowed to get married to whoever he wants, and when his Nazi buddies turn on his ass, I’ll be helping him find a visa out of here, but dear Ahura Mazda, I wouldn’t be caught dead having a beer with him. In fact, they most criticism I’ve ever gotten for being trans, is from other trans people. Yes, they should have rights, but fuck them as individuals, holy shit, don’t tell me how to transition. You can be trans (or any LGBT+) and still be a shitty person.

But like... about 10%-15% of people are queer. 10%-15% of people couldn’t have voted for our rights and won. Meaning we have a ton of straight people on our side. And that’s what we are: we’re people. I love Steven Universe and pizza. I’ll find people that love Steven Universe and pizza that didn’t vote for literally satan.

I’ve personally never been wronged by a hateful tj//lcer. But as you pointed out, there was a lot of hatefulness that was slung around. I watched as people attacked Mark Gatiss for not making their ship canon, or call him straight (they really care about representation, don’t they? /s), attacked other queer ships, tags, bullied some other queer shippers into self-harm, etc.

No, that wasn’t you doing any of that, and that wasn’t anything you participated in... This blog really isn’t about you, I don’t know why you’re so sad about it. This is about everyone’s actions that I’m starting to suspect we both found deplorable. Though I guess if you were a close follower of Rebs, you hated Mary from second one, which was really uncalled for (hate her for shooting Sherlock — I don’t, but it’s a reason — but that didn’t happen until we knew her for two whole episodes, half of a third, and she was just a lovely person until that exact moment).

The thing is, it IS just a show to me. I’m just responding to hate until I get bored with it. But tj//lc it became so much more to a bunch of people, and that’s why it got so toxic.

Again, THE PROBLEM is tj//lcers were demanding representation from a show, and writers, who were always honest that they weren’t going to give it. At least not in the way they wanted (and when it wasn’t in the way they wanted, they had tantrums, which is why I say: it was never about “representation” for some of them.). Rebs, even if it started as just a hobby, quickly became, and fed into this mass conspiracy that ultimately did end up hurting a lot of people. Possibly including xerself. That’s why I don’t feel bad taking your symbol: it is just a show, everyone had prior warning that jxhnlock wouldn’t happen, so the conspiracy was always just going to be fanfiction, and Rebs did some shitty things.

The way people are freaking out... they need to get over it. Or if not, okay, soak in grief forever over a fictional ship, but there’s probably better ways of dealing with all this besides sending me hate. Because honestly, what does anyone hope to accomplish by sending me hate? Me to delete? Sure, let’s say I did that. Jxhnlock isn’t going to be any more canon, and Rebs isn’t going to be any less wrong, and all of the hate xe encouraged is still going to be out there. Oh, and I’ll keep responding, which really just makes it worse.

Had people just ignored me — never sent any messages — there would be precisely one post on this blog, which was my original announcement that I had it.

Also — what have I said that’s “hateful?” Yeah, okay, I called rebs a “twat” for being a misogynist, I thought it was delightfully ironic, having a misogynistic slur juxtaposed next to that observation (like saying, “don’t fucking swear”), but no one got the joke, so I took it down. But otherwise? Saying John Watson is Straight is just a fact. Jxhnlock never happened, and since it didn’t, the insistence that he’s bisexual has no standing. He’s always said, “I’m not gay.” I never took that to mean he was saying, “I’m not gay, but I like men, I’m bisexual/pansexual.” Jeez, no, if he was part of the community at all, I imagine he’d let it pass, rather than get angry about the assumption (like Sherlock does, who is, said by the writers, to be neither gay nor straight. In fact, I’ve often heard that if you’re a good straight ally, it means not being upset if people assume you’re gay for standing up with them — so in some interpretation, he’s actually a bit homophobic). I’ve also pointed out that xe was wrong, which xe is. My banner is of Gatiss confirm jxhnlock wasn’t happening again — this is a thing that happened. Are facts “hateful” now?

Also... “life is too short to hate.” I mean... I think I’ve got enough life left in me to hate the sentient tire fire that uses too much fake tan cream, and the apparent resurgence of Nazis in America. Don’t you? Shouldn’t you?

tj//cers are definitely not on that level, but I don’t hate them, is the thing. I said this before: I hate no one in particular, just what the legacy produced.

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