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drchucktingle · 4 months

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my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great.

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is.

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned.

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’.

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept.

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual.

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

#actually autistic #chuck tingle #tingleverse #buckaroo lifestyle

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ja3yun · 3 months

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Push My Buttons | L.HS

bodyguard!heeseung x rich girl!reader warnings: enemies to ???, angst, smut (mdni), car sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, choking, mentions of spit, possessive!hee, some violence, not proofread, anything else lmk! wc: 7.5k synopsis: lee heeseung has been hired as your personal security by your father. you and him don't see eye to eye, so when tensions rise at your best friends party, you both know how to push each others buttons. a/n: hi! this is a thank you for 1k! i still don't believe it if i'm honest because i don't think i deserve it but regardless, thank you all so much if you follow me! this is a little idea i had sitting on my laptop that i've decided to complete for this occasion so enjoy!

_____

Browsing through the racks of the Prada store, you can't help but feel acutely aware of the imposing presence of your hired security, stationed just two feet away.

"Do you have to stick to me like glue all the time?" you mutter, not bothering to meet his gaze.

“It’s my job, Y/N. You’d know what that was if you weren’t such a spoiled brat,” he spits back, his eyes rolling in exasperation.

Lee Heeseung was appointed by your father to ensure your safety during his frequent business trips. Unfortunately, your father's demanding role as CFO of a tech company keeps him away for extended periods. He doesn't trust you to fend for yourself, fearing that others might exploit you to reach him. Given your father's controversial reputation stemming from questionable business dealings, Heeseung's imposing presence is a constant fixture in your life.

Your bodyguard would be more tolerable if he weren't so insistent on being by your side every second. It's tiresome, really, how he clings to you like a shadow, never granting you a moment of solitude. If you go to the bathroom, he is right outside the door and if you dare try and sneak out the window - which you have tried numerous times - he is chasing you down the street, sweeping you off your feet and taking you home.

You had hoped that being only a couple of years older, he might adopt a more relaxed approach, letting you live your life a little, but you were wrong. Since the first day he turned up, he’s been nothing but a hoover, sucking the fun and freedom from your life all to keep you safe.

Sure, he probably knows deep down that he's a tad overbearing, but hey, he's clinging to this gig like a lifeline. Compared to his last job of being a bouncer at some dingy club, knocking back people with fake IDs and kicking out drunk people, your dad's cushy paycheck is like hitting the jackpot.

To Heeseung, you’re just some rich kid who has more money than sense, squandering it on everything and anything you deem a necessity at the time, only to then throw them away or forget about them. Considering he struggled to pay his rent before this job, he hates your whimsy ways with money.

It's like you live in your own little bubble, completely disconnected from the real world. There are people out there starving and you’re buying thousands of pounds worth of clothes that you could easily get from a bargain bin for a fiver.

Finally, you spare him a glance, “Just stand over there, okay? You really don’t have to be here and mess up my whole vibe,” you flail your arms around hoping the gestures will add some exclamation to your statement.

With a resigned sigh, he acquiesces, nodding, "In my line of sight at all times, got it?" He scans the area once more, on high alert for anything out of place, before reluctantly giving you some breathing room.

Heeseung blends in, looking through the obscenely expensive trousers which he is convinced he has seen the exact same jeans in thrift stores, just without the brand label. It’s a reminder of the contrast between you both; your lavish ways are still an alien concept to him.

He’s been in this role for 3 months and he won’t get over it, how different you both are. Your beliefs and traits are so starkly dissimilar that not once have you ever seen eye to eye. He doesn’t hate you, but he’s close to it. You always treat him with little to no respect and considering he’s only looking out for you per your daddy’s request, he would like to think you would be a little more grateful.

Suddenly, his thoughts are interrupted by a lone figure approaching you, a slick smile playing on his lips. Heeseung’s jaw tightens as he analyses the scene in front of him, trying to speculate what the guy wanted, although Heeseung already knows his intentions.

You’re too busy trying to decide whether beige or cream looks better on you as you hold out two vest tops to notice the incoming man.

“I think you should go with that one,” the sudden boom of a voice beside you makes you jump and turn to him, clutching the clothes to your chest as you try to still your thumping heart, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, beautiful.”

Normally, you pay no mind to greasy men like him, but his cinched suit which was clearly tailor-made to fit and his sleek dyed brown hair was enough for you to give him a second glance. You can always spare some time for people who look good.

“Which one?” you ask, holding them back up at arm's length.

“The left one, I think you would look sexy in any of them, to be honest,” he smirks, thinking he’s being so smooth but you’re not really impressed by flattery. You know you look good, you see yourself in the mirror every day. Plus, he’s only trying to oil you up so he can either as you out or try and fuck you. The only one who genuinely gives you truthful advice or says you look good and mean it with no intention is Heeseung.

Your bodyguard is watching like a hawk, face steaming with anger as the guy puts his hand on your waist, holding one of the vest tops to your chest area. He’s already given the guy enough leeway by even letting him speak to you, but now he’s touching you, and Heeseung will be damned if he lets him get away with that.

With measured steps, Heeseung comes up behind you, licking his lips as hugs you from behind, “Baby girl, are you almost done?” he whispers loudly enough that the unwanted man in front of you can hear, “Who is this?” he asks, eyes now pointed forward.

The stranger's confidence falters under Heeseung's intense scrutiny, his eyes widening slightly as he realises the gravity of the situation. Heeseung's demeanour is unmistakably protective, his stance leaving no room for doubt about his intentions. His eyes are so dark that the boy knows that one wrong move will have Heeseung pouncing on him.

“I’m Woobin,” he says almost inaudibly. It’s amazing how quickly he resigned from his cocky attitude as soon as Heeseung made his presence known.

"Do you work here, Woobin?" Heeseung's voice is a low rumble against your ear, his lips trailing a path of kisses down your neck to your shoulder. His touch is electrifying, sending shivers down your spine as his hands caress your stomach, his thumbs tracing delicate patterns against the skin beneath your shirt

The butterflies in your tummy are fluttering around as if they’ve been disrupted from their nest by his touch. This is new, he hasn’t done this before, usually opting to just stand between you and potential danger. It's exhilarating and maddening all at once, the line between protection and possessiveness blurring in the heat of the moment.

Heeseung knows that if he simply said he was your security, it wouldn’t deter the man, he had to think on his feet. That and the way he touched you evoked something inside him, protectiveness laced with something else.

“I don’t work here, I-”

“Then get your hands the fuck off my girl,” Heeseung interrupts Woobin, maintaining eye contact with him as he bites down a little on the nape of your neck, almost like he’s physically marking you as his own in front of a potential suitor.

Your head is in a frenzy, knowing that Heeseung is stepping far beyond his role of protection, yet, you don’t stop him. It would be lying to say that his lips didn’t feel good on your skin, the way his fingers lightly gripped the softness of your stomach gave you fanny flutters like nothing else; as he boldly stakes his claim, you can't help but feel a surge of desire mingling with frustration

But this is also the man that is currently cockblocking you right now, stopping you from getting Woobin’s number and potentially a good fuck that you’re clearly in desperate need of; why else would you be getting turned on by Heeseung right now? This is the man you cannot stand, he is the last person on earth you want to be with.

Woobin awkwardly laughs and backs away, giving a slight wave to you as he walks out of the store, leaving you both in the thick silence.

As his form disappears into the distance, Heeseung stands by your side, his stare unflinching as he watches the threat go by, proud of himself for handling the situation quickly. Heeseung hasn’t let you go, his hands moving from your tummy to your waist, gripping it softly.

You don’t know what to do, still standing in a haze of shock and confusion, your eyes watching the back of Woobin with intensity. The man behind you didn’t even have to say much before Woobin was running with his tail between his legs.

Honestly, you know Heeseung can be intimidating, but this must have been a new level, even for him. You couldn’t see his eyes, yet, you know they held only room for intimidation.

Heeseung's attitude relaxes somewhat, but his protective stance remains firm. He slowly releases you from his grip, placing one last kiss on your neck for what reason he doesn’t know.

You take a moment to compose yourself, internally dealing with the mixed feelings of the encounter before pure rage flushes over you, “What the fuck was that?” you seeth, twisting your body to face him.

“What was what?” he asks, unfazed by your angry demeanour.

Slamming the vests back on the rack, you face him, your shorter stature suddenly being a hindrance as you try to act tough, “You know what! You just cockblocked me for no reason,” you ball your fists to the side of your hips, trying not to cause too much of a scene in the store.

“Good. God knows what he had, he was a creep,” Heeseung’s face is stoic, not giving much of his emotions away which only serves to piss you off more.

You wanted him to look a little bit sorry for overstepping, to say he was at least sympathetic towards your frustration. Instead, he just stands there, insulting the boy he didn’t even know.

Letting out a groan, you shut your eyes and unclench your hands, “I can’t ever have any fun with you around,” you try to calmly explain but as the words leave your lips, you begin to question why you’re trying to be civil in the first place.

This man is the bain of your existence, the reason you haven’t had sex in months, he is utterly infuriating and here he stands in front of you with no remorse for ruining your life.

Heeseung nods, feigning understanding as he leans down to make eye contact with you, his nose almost touching yours, “I don’t know, baby girl, it seems like you were having a blast a second ago,” he says smugly, a half smirk creeping onto his face.

You beam red, embarrassment and anger mixing to create a shade of crimson you didn’t know you could make. He was frustrating, arrogant, irrational, rude, cocky, and overall just irritating. You hate Lee Heeseung.

Winking at you, he nudges his nose with yours before standing back up, his figure back to towering over you, “Pick the one on the right and let’s get a move on,” he says, tucking his hands into his pockets and taking one giant step back.

It was like he was mocking you, giving you your space after infiltrating it as if he wasn’t leaving wet kisses on your neck five minutes ago.

With a huff, you face the two vests once again, looking between both options, each one having its own backer. You bite your lip and contemplate over them, choosing the one on the right.

_____

As you apply your final coat of mascara, you take one long look in the mirror. You look great, everything about you falls into place perfectly, your hair and makeup only adding to your beauty while the dress you’re wearing hugs you nicely.

Obviously, you don’t tell Heeseung that you had a party tonight, knowing that he would lock you up like some Disney princess in your castle. If there was one thing Heeseung hated more than men coming into your zone, it was parties where tons of men could.

The last party you went to was just before Heeseung arrived on the scene, the bodyguard now never letting you experience any joy or social gatherings that weren’t accompanied by him or a simple meet-up with friends. ‘There’s too much risk at a party’ he will always tell you.

A knock on your bedroom door almost makes you drop the mascara wand but you catch it before it causes disaster.

“I’m coming in,” Heeseung’s voice travels through the door before he swings it open. His eyes trail over your body as he assesses the outfit, “A bit dressed up for a night in with me, no?” he tries to pass it off as a lighthearted joke but he knows he’s about to argue with you about your plans.

“Oh, y’know, just thought I would try and make an effort to sit in and watch Louder Milk for the nth time,” you roll your eyes, twisting the mascara shut and turning to face him.

Heeseung grumbles, “Let’s cut to the chase where you tell me where you plan on going and I obviously stop you,” he crosses his arms and tilts his head expectantly.

But you can’t let him win, not this time around. It’s your best friend’s birthday night out and if you miss it, you’ll never be invited to anything again; you can’t miss a 21st birthday party and expect there not to be consequences, especially not in your circle of friends.

You finish getting ready with a sense of purpose, carefully placing your lip oil and hairbrush into your YSL bag. "I've got plans," you announce, nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders.

His brows furrow slightly. "You never mentioned we had plans tonight," he remarks, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"We don't have plans, Heeseung. I do. And you weren’t invited," you retort, your tone tinged with sarcasm as you shoot him a playful smirk.

He raises an eyebrow, trying to decipher your intentions. "A party? A date?" he ventures, scanning your attire and deducing that this isn't just a casual outing.

As you attempt to breeze past him, he swiftly moves to block the doorway with his arm, his muscles tensing as he grips the doorframe. You lock eyes with him, noticing the frustration brewing beneath the surface.

His jaw tightens as you stand your ground, a silent challenge passing between you, "Tell me where you're off to," he demands, his voice taking on a more authoritative tone.

You really need to get fucked because he’s suddenly turning you on, and his body starting to look like a jungle gym. Regardless of the fury and hatred for the boy in front of you, when he got angry, he was a new level of hot; it’s probably the reason you subconsciously push his buttons.

“I am going to Ryujin’s birthday party,” you confess, taking hold of his arm and trying to pry it from the wall, but he’s too strong and it doesn’t work. Even with all your efforts, it doesn’t budge.

Smiling at your feeble attempts to move him, Heeseung cockily leans on one foot, the other tucking behind his leg as he watches you struggle.

Undeterred, you try to slip under his arm, but he effortlessly scoops you up and returns you to your room, closing the door behind you with a practised ease. His years dealing with drunks at his previous job have endowed him with certain skills in handling runaways..

"Don't make this difficult, Y/N," he warns.

"You're the one being difficult! It's my best friend's birthday. Are you seriously telling me I can't go? I'm not in danger, you know," you retort angrily, frustration evident in your voice.

Heeseung understands that you're completely oblivious to the dangers lurking around your family, shielded by your innocent perspective. No one has bothered to inform you about your father's involvement in money laundering and his dealings with shady men. In your eyes, having a bodyguard feels like an unnecessary intrusion into your life rather than a protective measure.

"Listen, let's just imagine I let you go. Where is it?" he asks, a tinge of apprehension in his voice.

"Serenity," you reply, already sensing the tension building.

Heeseung's eyes widen in disbelief, "Serenity? The bar down by the loch? Are you serious?" he exclaims, his concern evident.

It was a losing battle the moment you opened your mouth. The bar isn’t known for its good reputation, it’s sleazy and grim, and despite its calm name, no one who occupies the bar could be considered peaceful.

Ryujin picked it simply because she likes to cosplay as a poor person sometimes, wondering what it would be like to live on the other side of wealth while obnoxiously spending a shit ton of money, completely rendering her ideas pointless.

You don’t agree with it but she is your best friend, the only person that gave you the time of day when you didn’t have a penny to your name all those years ago.

"I am not letting you step foot in that place," Heeseung asserts firmly, drawing a line in the sand.

“She hired out the whole bar, it’s not like anyone can just walk in,” you try to reason back but it doesn’t work as Heeseung’s resolve remains the same.

“You aren’t going, end of discussion. The whole neighbourhood is trouble and your friend is fucking stupid for this,” he scratches his jaw as the worst-case scenarios pop into his head. He might not like you but he really can’t stand some of the thoughts popping into his head, the urge to protect you growing stronger by the second.

The loch is a small part of town, mostly made up of deadbeats and criminals. Word spreads fast around there and there is a high chance the scums of the area know a bunch of snooty rich kids are going to be there for the picking.

You need to go, you can’t cancel any more plans so you need to think of something quick, “You can come with me,” you suggest, stepping closer to him. Would it be overbearing and annoying to have him there? Yes but at least you would be there. And it might actually be good if he was, after all, he is good at his job; you feel safe around him and the more he’s warning you away from Serenity and the loch, the more you’re starting to want his protection.

“I thought I wasn’t invited?” He raises his eyebrows sceptically.

Placing your hands on his chest, you trail them up to his shoulders, a pout forming on your lips. "Well, I'm inviting you now. Please, Heeseungie?" you implore, employing your best puppy-dog eyes and fluttering lashes in an attempt to sway him.

Typically, your pleading face doesn't work on him, but the combination of your hands massaging his tense shoulders and the endearing nickname starts to chip away at him.

"Fine. We can go for an hour or so, and then I'm taking you straight back home, understand?" he relents, already second-guessing his decision.

You squeal with joy, wrapping your arms around his neck and jumping up and down. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Finally, you've managed to reason with him.

Pushing you away gently, he clears his throat. "Be at the car in 10 minutes before I change my mind."

This is going to end disastrously.

_____

"Remember—"

"In your line of sight at all times," you finish, a hint of exasperation in your voice as you recite Heeseung's usual mantra.

Heeseung unbuckles his seatbelt with a grunt, his irritation clear as he mutters curses under his breath. He can't believe he's ended up in this mess, much less mocked by you. He is well aware that this is a recipe for disaster especially as he examines the area and notices gritty individuals prowling around the loch's borders, waiting for an opportunity to strike.

Heeseung is confident in his ability to handle himself; it's your safety that concerns him the most as he observes a suspicious figure crossing in front of your car.

You waste no time darting out of the car and hurrying to the club's entrance, leaving Heeseung trailing behind, a gust of wind in your wake.

"This fucking girl," he grumbles to himself as he parks the car and follows after you. He sees through your tactic—trying to get inside before him so he'll be left waiting outside while you venture off on your own. But he's not falling for it today.

He catches up to you just as you're about to give your name to the bouncer, his arm instinctively settling around your waist. The bouncer eyes Heeseung with a sceptical gaze, taking note of his attire and demeanour, which hardly scream 'rich kid bellend.'

As Heeseung squeezes your side, you shoot him a playful smirk over your shoulder. "Oh, this is my boyfriend. He's just trying to get into character for the place—dirty-chic and all that," you quip sarcastically, gesturing between him and the bouncer.

The bouncer chuckles at your comment, nodding in amusement. "You've done a good job. I almost mistook you for one of those creeps by the water," he jests, stepping aside to let you both in.

Heeseung doesn't react to your teasing or the bouncer's remarks. He's grown accustomed to such comments after spending the past few months with you and your friends. From being called shabby to poor, to filthy to crude, he's heard it all. Sometimes you apologise for your friend's words, but he knows the damage is already done.

It’s times like that that he has some faith in you, that you aren’t all diamonds and gold, that you do have a heart underneath it all.

Sticking close to you, you both end up at the bar ordering a gin and tonic for you and a water for himself. He knows everything about you by now, the constant watchful eye on you has got him to learn your favourite everything, so he finds himself ordering for you more times than not. That is, when you let him be actively seen with you.

"Can you vanish over there while I find Ryujin?" you ask, already scanning the room for the birthday girl.

Nodding, Heeseung points towards a nearby wall. "I'll be over there. If anything happens, remember to stay where I can see you. Don't run off; I will find you. And if you're going to the bathroom, come and get me," he advises, his tone firm as he leans down to emphasize the importance of his instructions.

"Yeah, sure," you reply casually, already making your way over to your friends at the other end of the bar, their excited screams and squeals guiding your path.

True to his word, Heeseung gives you space but remains vigilant, never taking his eyes off you. He's pleasantly surprised when three hours pass, and you're only on your second drink. Normally, he's had to carry you out of brunch with your university friends, and that's not even bottomless. Part of him thinks you’re remaining sober for your own vigilance, which makes him happy that you aren’t so reckless to get drunk in an unfamiliar setting around a lot of people you don’t know.

As the night progresses, Heeseung's gaze remains fixed on you from his position against the wall. He observes the way you interact with your friends, the genuine joy evident in your laughter and the twinkle in your eyes. Seeing you light up like this is a rarity, but it warms something inside him to witness you truly enjoying yourself.

Despite his reservations and occasional frustrations, Heeseung takes his role of keeping you safe very seriously. The thought of anything happening to you weighs heavily on his mind, not just because of the potential consequences from your father, but because he has come to genuinely care about your well-being. It's a realisation that surprises even him, how much he's come to feel responsible for you beyond just fulfilling his duties as a bodyguard.

Day by day, Heeseung finds himself spending more time in your presence. Even when he should be stationed at the front door, he often finds himself drawn to your side, whether it's watching TV shows together or cooking dinner. Sure, these moments are often punctuated by arguments over his choice of shows or the random spices he adds to your meals, but they keep things interesting, injecting a sense of spontaneity into his otherwise regimented routine.

And truth be told, he finds a strange satisfaction in winding you up, relishing the sight of the vein in your forehead protruding whenever you're exasperated with him. Despite the occasional clashes, there's an undeniable chemistry between the two of you, a dynamic that keeps him on his toes and reminds him that guarding you isn't just a job - it's become a massive part of his life.

Recently, he has become extra protective over you, the incident at the Prada store being a prime example. Men like Woobin are not the ones he should be protecting you from, but he can’t help it, you’re too precious to be led off by the likes of him.

Shaking his head, he disregards his last thought. You’re not precious, you’re a princess, a snooty diva with an attitude problem.

This is what he has to tell himself every day.

He watches you go up to the bar and sit on the stool as you order another drink, but his attention shifts to a familiar face in the crowd. Woobin - and he is walking straight for you. Like he hasn’t dealt with him enough today, it was almost as if thinking about him that manifested him straight into your lap.

As Woobin twists the stool you're sitting on to face him, Heeseung's grip on the empty cup tightens, his knuckles turning white with the effort to maintain his composure. He knows he can't just stride over there like he did at the store; he crossed a line then, kissing your neck was too far, and biting down on you to mark you was too far. But the possessive feeling that had simmered earlier resurfaces as he watches Woobin casually tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

His mind races with a mantra, a desperate attempt to keep his emotions in check. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here.

But as he watches Woobin's hand graze your leg, Heeseung's resolve crumbles.

"Fuck this," he mutters under his breath, his anger boiling over as he pushes himself off the wall and throws his cup away. Without a second thought, he makes a beeline for you, determined to put an end to this unwanted intrusion.

You suddenly feel Heeseung's chest press against your back, his presence feels overpowering, his aura dark and intense. You glance at Woobin and notice the fear flicker back into his eyes, just like before, as Heeseung speaks with a menacing tone, "Have you got a death wish or something, mate?" His question hangs in the air, a clear warning.

Woobin takes a step back, but despite the quiver in his pupils, he refuses to back down. "She obviously isn't satisfied with you," he retorts, attempting to sound tough. "She hasn't even tried to bat me off."

You scrunch your face in disbelief at Woobin's audacity. His attempt to turn the situation on you is off-putting, and any attraction you may have felt towards him suddenly dissipates.

Heeseung's gaze shifts down to you, his eyes hooded as he leans in close. "Is that true, baby girl? Do I not satisfy you?" His words send a shiver down your spine, leaving you momentarily speechless. Before you can form a response, he leans even closer, his breath hot against your cheek as he whispers in your ear, "You better agree with me, or else I'll punch his lights out, right here, right now."

His threat hangs in the air, leaving you feeling torn between conflicting emotions. As you struggle to find the right words, Heeseung's lips graze the skin of your earlobe, sending a jolt of sensation through you. You're unsure whether he's doing this to turn your mind to mush so you can do nothing but agree with him or assert his dominance over Woobin, who watches with a flushed neck, clearly intimidated by Heeseung's display of possessiveness.

Nodding slowly, you side-eye Heeseung, “Y-you do,” you say quietly but as he bites down on your ear and you yelp, you speak up a bit more confidently, “You do satisfy me.”

“Good girl,” he whispers, placing one final kiss on your ear, “You heard her, so get the fuck away from her, or I will throw your body in the loch and no one will even care to look for you,” he challenges Woobin, threatening him like some gangster.

As Woobin backs up and mutters ‘This is not fucking worth it’, Heeseung smiles triumphantly, knowing he’s scared him off for good. Heeseung fixes your hair, gathering it all to sit nicely at the back, running his fingers through it as he silently warns any other men in the club that you’re no one but his.

You hate to admit it, but it turns you on a little.

But your responsible head twists back on and you understand what Heeseung has done again, “Heeseung,” you slap his chest and push him away, “Stop fucking babying me!” Standing up from the stool, you weave through the people at the club in search of the exit, Heeseung’s antics finally pushing you too far.

"I am doing my job, Y/N," he shouts over the chatter and music, his voice barely audible amidst the din of the club.

"No, you aren't. That is not your job," you retort, your voice rising above the noise. "Pretending to be my boyfriend and scaring away potential fucks is not part of the remit!"

Your words hang in the air, heavy with frustration and disappointment. You push him away one more time, creating some distance between you before storming out of the club.

Fuming with anger and adrenaline, you make your way through the car park, your mind racing with conflicting emotions. Part of you resents Heeseung for his overbearing behaviour, but another part can't deny the thrill you felt with his protective display. It's infuriating to admit, but the feeling of his possessiveness is sending shivers straight down south, You hate that you're even thinking like this.

His touch on your ear and neck lingers in your mind, igniting a whirlwind of desire and confusion. You're not thinking straight anymore, and if Heeseung catches up to you, you're not sure how you'll react - whether it'll be pure anger or pure lust.

Either way, you need to get this steam out.

“Y/N! Get back here right now!” he shouts, pushing past the men who are ogling your figure.

As you hear his voice, something takes over you. You pull the first guy you see into a kiss, holding onto this jacket as your mouth moves against his.

Heeseung sees red, blood red as he watches you kiss the stranger. It’s reckless behaviour, your lips moving roughly against a guy probably twice your age but, of course, the guy doesn’t mind. He wraps his arms around you to bring you in closer. That gesture shakes Heeseung from his shock coma, his emotions fueling him.

But Heeseung can't stand idly by any longer. With a guttural growl, he yanks the man away from you, his anger propelling him into action. He delivers a punishing punch to the man's face, the force of it sending him crashing to the ground, sprawled across the gravel of the car park.

Heeseung doesn't stop there. He delivers a few more swift kicks to the man's prone form before turning his attention to you. Grabbing your arm with bruised hands, he hauls you towards the car, his grip tight and unforgiving.

"You're so fucking irresponsible," he seethes, his voice dripping with venom as he struggles to contain the storm of emotions raging inside him. The veins in his neck bulge with the intensity of his anger, his eyes flashing with a dangerous fire.

“Sorry if I want to have some fun,” you argue back, trying your hardest to release yourself from his firm hold.

As you both approach your car, he opens the door and shoves you in, “And kissing and fucking random guys is fun?” he slams the door behind you once he knows all your limbs are inside the vehicle.

Striding over to the driver's seat, he gets in quickly, locking the doors so you can’t make a quick escape. You don’t even attempt to try and flee, already knowing you’re only going to end up in a game of cat and mouse all night, and in this weather with your dress isn’t fun.

“I’m 20 years old, nearly 21, I can fuck if I want to,” you shout back, slamming your hand on the backrest to hammer home your point. You are old enough and wise enough to make your own decisions, Heeseung is only there to make sure you don’t end up getting kidnapped or whatever it is your dad thinks will happen to you.

"It's not wanting to fuck that is my problem, it's who you want to fuck," he growls, his voice tinged with bitterness.

You want to slap him, angry that he doesn’t seem to get it, “I don’t get to fuck anyone thanks to you,” you retort back with venom laced in your voice.

His entire body turns to face you, his gaze piercing through you as he asks, "You want to get fucked?"

“Yes! Obviously!”

Heeseung lunges towards you, pressing his lips to yours in a matter of seconds to your answer. At first, you’re confused at what is happening, the unfamiliar feeling of his mouth melting into yours causes your head to thump.

But as he moves you to lay back, flicking the seat to recline all the way back, you find yourself chasing his body with yours, your lips like magnets as they draw themselves back to his. He tastes sweet, not like how you expected, you were presuming it’s the flavour of his vape he swears he doesn’t use.

Shuffling your way up the seat, you spread your legs so he can situate himself neatly in between you, knees resting against the edge of the seat for support, his hands roaming all over your body and his kisses never faltering.

He was hungry for you, those tiny tastes of your neck served as appetisers before the main meal which was your mouth and tongue. Roughly, he brings one of his palms to cover your throat as squeezes, the consequential parting of your lips as you gasp gives him access to lick into your mouth. The grip on your throat is heavenly, just tight enough to make your brain go fuzzy but not to the point you think you’re in danger.

With a quick roll of his hips, you feel the outline of his cock being pushed onto your core, even through jeans he’s prominent, only building up your anticipation more. He does this a few times, each time the rough edges of his zipper rub your barely covered clit, eliciting a moan from you.

Heeseung's smirk widens at your response, his gaze flickering with desire as he watches the desperation in your eyes. Without hesitation, he leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear as he repeats his question, this time with less anger and more longing. "You want to get fucked?"

Your breath catches in your throat at his words, your desire for him burning hotter than ever before. "Yes, please, Heeseung," you whimper, using your hands to hold his hips against yours as you rut yourself desperately against him, humping his length through his jeans.

Heeseung almost feels bad for you, clearly, he underestimated how much you needed to seek release. No wonder you were willing to entertain someone like Woobin. He had to make this worth the frustration he has been causing you.

The pressure of Heeseung's hand around your throat tightens, eliciting a gasp from your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, "You sure you want to fuck a guy like me?" he hisses, his voice tinged with both agitation and desire, the intensity of his gaze burning into yours.

Despite the lack of air, you manage to choke out your response, your voice laced with desperation, "Yes, Heeseung, I need you."

A smug smirk plays across Heeseung's lips at your admission, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. "Oh, I know you need me, Sweetheart," he replies, his tone dripping with confidence. "You're staining my jeans as we speak." His words send a shiver down your spine, a potent mixture of arousal and frustration coursing through you.

But then his question cuts through the haze of desire, forcing you to confront the reality of the situation, "I'm asking if you want to go back to little Woobin now?" he taunts, knowing full well the answer already. He just wants to hear you say it.

With a shake of your head, you release your hold on his hips and begin to unbutton his jeans, determination blazing in your eyes. "No," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "No, I only want you."

“Thought so,” he kisses you again before releasing your throat, focusing his hand's attention on ridding you of your pants while you work to get his trousers out of the way. He tugs your underwear down, tossing them to his side of the car before lining himself up at your hole.

Wrapping your legs around his hips, you try to push him to slip into you, but he keeps his hips rigid, only making you look more desperate for him. He taps your clit with the head of his cock, each time it slaps down, he echoes it with a tut.

“You don’t even know if I’ll fit,” his voice whispering in your ear as he licks the shell of it, “All those preppy rich boy cocks aren’t anything like mine,” he takes your wrist in his hand and guides you to feel his length as it sits neatly in your folds, “See?”

Whining, you pout, knowing he’s just teasing you for badness, “I promise I can handle it,” you say lowly, pumping his cock between your cunt and hand. The motion makes Heeseung hiss in pleasure, the feeling of his cock trapped only adding to his anticipation of being inside you.

He moves in for a chaste kiss on your lips, his touch soft despite the intense need between you, "I'll go slow," he tells you, his words a balm in the midst of the intense moment. Even in the heat of passion, Heeseung is driven by his instinct to protect you.

With one swift movement, he slides into your heat slowly, letting you stretch around him. Surprisingly to both of you, your pussy is accommodating him perfectly, the stretch a little painful but not unbearable. He shallowly moves his hips back and forth, watching his cock disappear into you further and further each time until he’s bottoming out and tapping your cervix lightly.

Heeseung isn't wrong when he tells you that no other cock you've had can compare to his. Every curve and ridge of his dick seems perfectly designed to hit every sweet spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. It's an otherworldly sensation, the way he gains traction with each movement, his confidence growing as he senses your comfort and willingness to take more.

"You're so tight, baby girl," he murmurs between kisses.

Lost in the throes of passion, you cling to Heeseung, your bodies moving in perfect synchronisation as you lose yourself in the sensation of him filling you completely. Each thrust sends shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you, igniting a fire that burns hotter with each passing moment.

Heeseung's hands roam over your body, exploring every curve and contour with a hunger that matches your own. His touch is both gentle and possessive, his fingers leaving a trail of fire in their wake as they trace the contours of your skin. The pads of his fingers roughly grab your tit that’s managed to escape your dress, twisting your nipple between his finger and thumb.

Your hands are in a similar position, running along his toned stomach under his shirt, trying to commit it to memory, just in case you never get to do this again. You wish this was happening with zero clothes in the way but the desperation between you both got in the way.

As the intensity of your desire builds, Heeseung's movements become more urgent, his thrusts growing deeper and more powerful with each passing moment. You can feel the tension coiling within you, the promise of release looming on the horizon like a distant storm.

“You’re squeezing me so tight, Y/N. I won’t last much longer,” he admits, knowing that he’s close to the edge himself.

“Need it, I need you to cum,” you moan loudly, your hand leaving his skin to find your clit, rubbing it vigorously as you try and speed along your orgasm.

Your words drive Heeseung to pound into you faster, willing both of you to come undone together. The car shakes as you both speed up your movements, your hips trying to match his rhythm to create a deeper impact with each buck of his hips.

With a final, desperate thrust, Heeseung drives you both over the edge, sending you spiralling into ecstasy. Wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you, leaving you breathless and trembling under him, the ropes of his cum coating your heat.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he feels his cock swell and throb inside of you, “Cum with me, Y/N. Please.”

Circling your arms around his shoulders, you hug him close to you as his body shivers, still reeling from the aftermath of his climax. You lay like that for a few minutes, processing everything that just transpired between you both.

“Are you okay?” he asks, holding himself up to face you, one hand wiping your sweaty bangs from your forehead.

Nodding, you shut your eyes, massaging his shoulders lightly as you let bliss take over you, “I feel great,” you smile.

Heeseung grabs your pants from the driver seat and bundles them up, using them as a makeshift cloth to clean you up, spitting on them before running them along your swollen cunt, “We can’t do this ever again,” he says quietly, his breathing starting to regulate again.

“What do you mean?” you lean on your elbows, looking up at him with confusion, “Was it not okay?”

Of course, it was okay, Heeseung thinks your pussy might be the best he’s ever had, but it’s not logical to try and keep this fantasy alive. You were too different, this encounter was fueled by anger and rage between you both, hardly the start of a picture-perfect relationship.

He discards your underwear and pulls his own bottoms up, tucking his softening cock into his boxers and jeans, “It was great, but I’m supposed to protect you, not fuck you,” he says, shuffling back into his seat, starting the car.

“We’ll use protection next time,” you shrug, fixing your seat to sit upright, “It’s no big deal.”

Heeseung sighs, his frustration evident as he starts the car and pulls out onto the road. "You know that's not what I mean, Y/N," he replies, his voice tinged with resignation.

The rest of the drive home is filled with silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Heeseung's thoughts swirl with the fear of losing his job, the guilt of failing to protect you, and the sudden need to be inside you all the time.

“We forget about this, okay?” he asks, eyes flickering to you.

You nod in agreement, but a smirk tugs at the corners of your lips, betraying your true thoughts. Deep down, you know that you won’t forget about it, and this will certainly not be the last time you find yourself fucking Lee Heeseung - You'll make sure of it.

#enha smut #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #enha x reader #heeseung smut #lee heeseung smut #aj writes #enhypen angst #enhypen fic #e2l is slowly becoming my fave to write

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zyafics · 19 days

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omg hi!! hope ur doing well i love ur writing btw, (play fake is one of my fav fics ive EVER read!!)

could u do a fic where rafe and reader are like best friends, and they’ve always both kinda liked each other but they dont really act upon it, until rafe gets a buzzcut and reader starts acting like real shy and clumsy around him bcs she’s shocked abt how he could get even MORE attractive, and then he gets linda confused so he asks her why she’s acting so different and then she tells him? make it as smutty and fluffy as u want! 🫶🫶

first off, ily �� and omg, YES!! i've been thinking about this ever since i got your req in my inbox, so here's my very earnest attempt at doing it justice 🩷

masterlist

pairing rafe cameron x bsf!female reader

content (5.3k words) 18+, fluff, smut, soft!rafe to reader only, protected p in v, f receiving oral, lots of banter!, nicknames used: baby and wildflower. — reader type kook, spontaneous, loves adventure, hates silence, loves noises, doesn't exactly like her reality, and friends with topper and kelce, but is only close to rafe!

dedication to @mintforadollar for helping me with the nickname and for @erwinsvow for her lovely fic, which i drew inspiration from and i've been obsessing over for the past two weeks <3

lıllılı Wildflower by 5 Seconds of Summer

"I want to run away."

It takes a moment for Rafe to register your confession and his response is a drowsy laugh. "Buy a guy dinner first."

You let out a groan, slumping against your wrinkled sheets and abundant pillows spread across your bed. "I'm being serious, Rafe. I'm tired of this house. It's too empty and quiet. I can't stand it. At night, I think I can hear my skin buzzing."

Rafe is accustomed to your sporadic calls regarding whatever issues you had with the world. Last week, it was about the insufficient amount of family portraits that frame the halls of your mansion.

"Maybe you just need to change your sheets."

"Stop!" You chastise. Rafe chokes up with another beat of laughter, low and rich with the deep timbre of his voice. The sound temporarily draws you away from your rant, igniting a small ember in your stomach. You brush away those tingly thoughts. "You're not listening to me."

"I think I'm listening to you perfectly fine, wildflower." He reassures, the solemnity of his tone takes you off the edge. Rafe shuffles on the other line, moving to a sitting position against his headboard. "What do you want? Do you want me to come pick you up?"

You cower from his offer, tucking one of your pillows under your chin. "You don't have to..."

"Don't get all shy with me now. You can't act this way when you're waking me up in the dead of night to report about your getaway plans."

"I feel bad."

Rafe sighs, getting off his bed. He knows the outcome of this conversation and rather prepares himself for the short drive. "I'm heading over."

"I could walk."

"It's freezing outside."

"Your house is down the block. I can survive."

"I'm already out the door. Just stay put." Rafe announces and before he's about to disconnect the call, he adds. "I'm serious."

He arrives in record time. Honking his truck with no regards for the nearby neighbors and you pad downstairs with a bag, descending down the driveway to the passenger side of his truck. A little shiver travels down your spine at the cool North Carolina weather.

"God, what did I tell you?" He scolds, noticing your lack of outwear, and reaches for the blanket in the backseats he keeps just for you. He throws it at your face, suffocating your air with a fluffy white fleece. You roll your eyes, covering your shoulders with it as Rafe reverses. "Where do you want to go?"

"Thought I'm supposed to buy you a meal first."

He doesn't bother entertaining your retort with a glance and flicks the side of your head with his fingers. You giggle. "We're not running away."

"Who said you're included in this adventure? I remember it being a one-person job."

Rafe scoffs. "You can't run away. You'd miss me too much."

"No, you'd miss me too much." You tease back, watching his lips pull to an upward curve at your words. It makes your heart flutters, knowing you always manage to get this side of Rafe. To the rest of Outer Banks, Rafe is seen as a precarious, self-absorbed playboy, but to you, he's your best friend.

And a little more.

The truck parks on the roadside of Tannyhill, the silhouettes of the estate surrounded by shadowy oak trees and a deep reflection of the moon on their waterfront view. Rafe doesn't make a move to leave, nor turn off the engine, before he turns to you.

"You okay?" He asks gravely, all humor stripped off his handsome features. You feel the air of your lungs stolen, at the amount of attention he's paying you, and the atmospheric change turns you to a bashful version of yourself.

"Fine." You answer, looking to your lap. "You know..."

Despite your house being a near-identical model to Rafe's, you hate yours. It's nothing about the architecture but rather the emptiness of the hallways. The cold floors sweep with minimalist decors. The echoes in the chambers where you can hear every little whirl in the air conditioner and creaks in the pipes. You'd rather be at Tannyhill.

Rafe doesn't say anything for the next few moments, observing you, before conceding a sigh. "Tell you what. I'll take you out on the Druthers tomorrow. We'll go bright and early, sail out for a couple of hours, watch the sunrise and it'll be something."

You lift your head, eyes lit up. "Is this our escape?"

"We gotta come back, though."

You frown but the offer remains enticing. It's better than nothing.

"Okay, deal." You nod, holding out your pinkie finger. Rafe scoffs at your gesture, but nonetheless, returns it. "Don't look so glum. You get to hang out with me."

"You do realize we have about three hours of sleep?"

You glance at the clock on his dashboard. He's right. But, you don't want to hold it off till another day. "I can go by myself. Just give me the keys for tomorrow."

He rolls his eyes, as if he would even consider that suggestion, and shakes his head. "I'm coming with you."

"Aren't you afraid you won't get your beauty sleep?"

"Shut up and get in the house."

You laugh and hop out of his truck. When you enter through his bedroom, you throw your bag to a random corner and stroll over to his closet in search for one of Rafe's tees to sleep in.

When you settle on something, you strip out of your clothes—in the middle of his bedroom, just as Rafe enters—and exchange it for his shirt. He had little regard for your act, having grown accustomed to you changing in front of him and vice versa.

All Rafe does is pull off his own shirt, because he likes to sleep naked, and turns back to you. Unlike him, you're never going to get used to seeing him naked—the defined muscles of his chest, the toned planes of his abs, all those hours spent at the gym are clearly not wasted.

You flush, realizing you're ogling him longer than appropriate, and lift your gaze to find a smirk curving his lips. "Oh, shut it," you push his shoulders, causing him to laugh. He takes the opportunity to capture your hand, pulling the both of you onto his mattress, and you yelp.

Rafe changes your position so you're facing him, an arm sprawls over your waist, and there's about a couple of inches of space between the two of you. Here, in the low streams of the moonlight glistening through the veiled curtains and the faint aroma of his cologne on his pillows, you can hear your own heartbeat in your ears.

You say nothing. He says nothing, You stare into his cerulean eyes, knowing all this little emotions you're feeling all over—the light pricks on your skin where he touches you, the lapse in your breathing from how attentive he is, and the sharp incline of your heart rate pulsing through your veins—is because of him.

His voice is low when he says, "you know you're my best friend, right?"

You couldn't find it in you to answer. You just nod.

Rafe swallows hard, not having the ability to string together the next sentence. Instead, all he does is nod along, leaning forward to place a light kiss on your forehead, before falling asleep.

The next morning, just an hour before the sunrise, Rafe and you head to the ports to board the Druthers. Despite the lack of adequate sleep, you were giddily and strumming with high energy. He holds out his hand to guide you up the stairs, afraid your enthusiasm would cause you to miss a step.

When the Druthers is far enough from shore, it pulls to a halt, gently bobbing on the ocean waves of the tame morning. You settle on the deck and Rafe slides into the spot next to you. Here, you have the perfect view of the sun slowly rising from the horizon, painting the sky in a palette of red, orange and yellow.

You're grinning. You're feeling much better, especially after your melodramatic episode. Your head rests on Rafe's chest, observing the skyline until the sun reaches its acme, while he watches you. Something about you, happy, content, and with him brings a warmth no one can replicate.

"We have to go swimming." You announce suddenly, twisting your head to look at him with excitement bubbling on your features, doe eyes pleading with a want.

His expression is flat, trying to contain his emotions. "It's seven in the morning."

"So? When has that stopped me before?"

"It's freezing cold."

"That's your excuse for everything." You scoff, before tilting your head in a challenge. "Are you scared of a little water, Rafe Cameron?"

There's a twinkle in your eyes, something about the way you talk to him, he would never allow from anyone else. It's just you. He had to look away, pretending to shake his head from the idea but knowing, at the end, he lost.

With a long dip into the ocean, you swim around the Druthers with light splashes thrown in his face, causing Rafe to chase after you for your little stunt. When the pair of you returned to the boat, dripping wet on the floor deck, laughter exchanging at the break of dawn.

"You cheated!" You accuse, grinning.

"I did not. You're just slow."

When you change out of your bikini and Rafe changes out of his swim trunks, you return to the cockpit where Rafe dons a new attire: khaki pants, a polo shirt, and his backward baseball cap. The air shifts, a more solemn expression on his face.

"You had enough now, wildflower?" He tips his head to your direction, as you approach him. "Ready to return back to the real world?"

You groan. "What's so special about that place?"

"Nothing that matters to you," he declares, "but I have a couple of errands I have to run today. I have to get back, but I won't leave until you're feeling better."

"Hm." You consider your satisfaction. Standing before Rafe, you watch as his lips curl in amusement at the way you're mauling through the finer details. The itinerary of your day and whether it was enough. When your eyes lock with his, you offer him a sweet smile, albeit a little reluctant.

"What?"

You don't answer him, reaching for his hat and taking it off his head, before plopping it over your own as a keepsake souvenir. "Now, I am."

—

After spending your afternoon with Topper and Kelce at the Country Club, distracting them from their tee time with your commentary about their swings, Rafe finally arrives to join you.

But it's different.

When Rafe said he had a couple of errands to run, you didn't ask for their specifics. He just said he'll join you later and you were content with that assumption.

You should've prepared yourself.

Rafe got a new haircut; a buzz that took away his dirty blond locks and a clean fade on the sides. For some reason, it makes your heart accelerate. Your breath shortens. Rafe has always been attractive before but now, you couldn't even look at him.

When he tries to approach you in greeting, you dip out of the way and return to Topper and Kelce. However, in the middle of your path, you nearly tripped over some hazardously-abandoned golf club one of the boys threw out, but Rafe caught you. A hand on your elbow, his brows drawn together in concern.

"You good?" He asks. You can't help but let your eyes stray up to his hairline, finding it voided of the curtain bangs it previously occupies and the strands you like to mess with. Your gaze instantly drops to the ground.

"I'm–I'm fine." You stutter, heat rising to your cheeks from the embarrassing fact that you couldn't even make a clean getaway. Rafe helps you find your balance and you slip out of his grasp as you excuse yourself back to the other Kooks.

That's how the rest of the evening went. Through another round of golf and a dinner at the restaurant inside the Country Club, you try to ignore Rafe to the best of your abilities. It was a difficult task but a necessary one. Your emotions were fuzzy and harder to control. You couldn't even look at your best friend without flushing or revealing everything on your face.

You thought you could wait it out till you get home.

"Come on, wildflower." Rafe grabs your wrist, just as you're about to join Topper in his car, and you turn to face his contempt expression. Annoyance written over his features. "I'm driving you home."

"No, it's fine. Top said he can give me a ride—"

"We live nearby each other. There's no point for Top to do all that. Right?" Rafe cuts a hard look to the blond in the driver seat, to whom easily backs off with two hands raised in surrender. Coward. Rafe turns back to you. "Let's go."

You end up in the passenger seat of his truck. On the long drive back to Figure Eight, you were uncharacteristically quiet. Often, you would fidget with the stereo, messing with Rafe's presets on country and rap stations, to which he always has to swat your hands away. Today, you sat obediently in your seat, hands tucked between your thighs, looking anywhere but Rafe.

"You're not going to listen to music?" He asks, trying to cut the silence. You shake your head.

"I'm not feeling it."

You try to count the seconds. You try to distract yourself by looking out the window and listening to the chirps of crickets coming out, but all you can focus on is the sound of yours and Rafe's breathing. The acute awareness of something in the air. The amount of space between the two of you. The way something deep in you changed about him.

It isn't his fault. Whatsoever. It's all yours. All those times spent at Tannyhill, stealing his shirts to wear to sleep, cuddling up in his bed after sneaking out of your estate, running around with Rafe doing god-knows-what. You developed something for him. A crush. An inkling.

You always told yourself you could control it. It's natural for best friends to like each other at one point. It'll fade away eventually.

But, unfortunately for you, that isn't the case. it got worse. It grew more desperate. With each inching territory into something else means a larger consequence it can have on your friendship.

You can't lose him.

"Hey." Rafe calls out, his voice softens considerably from the aggression he used with Topper a while back. You don't turn to face him, despite that being his sole objective, and you respond back with a light hum. "Am I driving you home or Tannyhill?"

To you, those are the same things. Home is where Tannyhill is, where Rafe is. But, you knew what he was referring to.

"Tannyhill." You answer in a chipped tone. "I forgot my bag."

"Of course, you did." He teases, trying to break the tension with some lightheartedness. It doesn't work. You don't answer, too lost in resisting the urge to look at him.

Rafe sighs when you refuse to acknowledge him and turns back to the road. That's when you spare a glance from the corner of your peripheral; just a small peek.

And there he is: Rafe with the fresh shave that is such a strange yet welcomed sight. It brings out a clearer definition of his handsome features, the planes of his sharp profile, the cut of his jawline and the wrinkles around his eyes you always adore. It's too much for you.

You can't let him know that.

He's your best friend.

When he reaches Tannyhill, you leap out of the moving vehicle and race up the porch. You take the hidden key from under the mat and turn the lock, slipping into the familiar foyer and up the large stairwell.

Racing against an internal clock, once you enter the bedroom, you search for your bag, but you can't seem to pinpoint its location. When you manage to miraculously find it underneath the covers, you throw it over your shoulders and sprint to the exit.

Only for Rafe to block it.

"Why are you in such a rush?" He asks, his brows furrowed together as he examines you. You quickly drop your gaze to the ground, pretending to be interested in the patterns on the marble.

"I just..." You stammer for an excuse. "I just got to get home."

"Why? You hate your house."

"I don't hate it." You lie. The conversation tips into an awkward tension—the exact thing you were trying to avoid. You think you need to spend a day, or two, or a whole week, to collect yourself and force yourself back to normal. Back to when you can look at him without revealing everything on your face.

"God, what is it? You don't like it?" Rafe laughs with an ounce of nervousness and the sound takes you back. You look up, finding him running a hand over his buzzcut. "It's my hair, isn't it?"

He didn't know why he decided to buzz it off. He just did. He didn't care if his father didn't approve or if Wheezie would make fun of him for the sudden change in appearance. That didn't matter to him.

But your opinions did.

"What?" Your lips part. Were you that obvious? "I never said that."

"You didn't need to. This entire evening, you've barely looked at me."

He's right.

"I was busy."

"Playing golf with Top? You hate that shit." He retorts, dropping his hand to his side, clenching them into whiten knuckles. "And when we were at the restaurant. You were sitting with Kelce. Why the fuck were you sitting with him instead of me?"

You swallow hard. Your throat is tightening with all the words you can't reveal.

"Maybe I just want to change it up. I am friends with them too—"

"But you're my friend first."

You scoff. "Possessive much?"

"Very." He answers nonchalantly. Your heart skips a beat. He can't say that; it's not fair. "And knowing you for so long, I know what you're telling me is complete and total bullshit."

His hand slides under your jaw, lifting your gaze to meet his, and you can't help but feel your walls crumbling. You're afraid. You're so afraid.

"Come on, wildflower." He murmurs softly, swiping his thumb across your cheek. "Tell me the truth."

You have always been able to do that. In ways. When Rafe asks something of you, you're always able to tell him straight. It's one of the qualities he likes about you. Now is the first time you're going against your nature. Because it's too close, too real, that it can change everything.

Your throat grows dry and you lick your bottom lip, causing Rafe to glance down.

"I..." You begin, trying to string together a coherent sentence that won't damage everything. He raises a brow, waiting. "Sometimes it's hard for me to look at you."

You close your eyes after the confession. Your heart is in his hands.

All the air in the room stills, as if the air conditioner turns off and you're all left with a tense, palpable silence. You can't bear it. At least, at your house, you can blast your speakers on full-volume to create some level of noise and block it out. Here, all you can hear is the thumping of your heart in your ears.

"Say something." You urge.

"Sometimes it's hard for me to look at you too."

Your heart drops. You think he doesn't understand. He thinks you can't stand him physically, especially after his haircut, and this is a similar sentiment shared by him about you.

He doesn't feel the same way.

"Oh."

You open your eyes, trying hard not to cry. You can feel them swelling with hot tears but you blink fast, trying to not let Rafe see.

He immediately recognizes the look, drawing back his hand. That’s not what he meant. "Don't cry."

You're not doing a good job at hiding anything today. "No, it's okay," you say with a crack voice, "you don't have to—"

"No, fuck," he swears, "what I mean is that, sometimes, when you look at me, I just—" He couldn't explain himself, not in time, not in the way he wants, that he covers your eyes, flooding your vision with darkness and heightening every other sense.

Rafe releases a deep exhale, collecting himself. "Those eyes..." He mumbles, the resonance of his voice so close, it's as if he's right beside you. You feel his breathing fanning against the curve of your neck, raising goosebumps. "They drive me fucking insane."

Then, he kisses your neck.

The act jolts you by surprise.

"Everything about you drives me insane." He confesses against your heated skin, the vibration of his words sending straight tingles through your body. "I can't go a day without thinking about you. About wanting you."

Not just as a best friend, but as a whole. Everything about you he needs. In his life; forever. Sometimes, he can't believe you exist.

You're overwhelmed with all these new emotions. Your heart is swelling. "Rafe..."

"You're my best friend, right?" He muses, delivering kisses up the column of your throat to the underside of your jaw, and making his way closer to your lips. "But you're also the only one for me."

Before he gets to your mouth, you grab his wrist, the one holding you blindfolded. He stops in place—afraid this is your time to reject him.

"Rafe." You breathe out. "Can I see you?"

He slowly removes his hand, allowing your vision to flood back with his presence. This time, the sight of Rafe doesn't push you into overdrive. There's a new sense of clarity and calm, an elated comfort you don't share with anyone else.

You take your time drinking him in. From his face, to his lips, to the fresh haircut you're feeling entirely too grateful for. You do it all without fear.

"What?" He demands, his insecurities skyrocketing through the roof. "Don't like it?"

"I love you."

His heart lunges in his chest. He couldn't believe the words coming from your lips. When it completely registers that this is not some sweet, wet dream he's going to wake up from, his hands reach forward to cup either side of your face and he finally kisses you.

His force pushes you back against his bed and you land on the mattress with a soft thump. You laugh into his mouth and Rafe grins against your lips.

"Eager, much?"

"I wanted to hear you say that for so long." He admits, his hand travels down your waist to grab your hips and pull you closer. Rafe deepens the kiss, swallowing the little sounds you're making, until you have to pull away to catch your breath.

You can't believe this is happening.

"I didn't know you were such a good kisser."

"Yeah? You wanna know what else I'm good at?"

Your eyes drop to his pants, seeing the subtle outline of his erection straining against his zipper, and he chuckles lowly. "You want it tonight?"

You nod timidly. Your eyes dropping to your lap again, but this time, Rafe doesn't allow you to do such things.

He grabs your chin, forcing your gaze to his. "Don't do that, baby. You know how I feel about you getting shy from asking what you want. Use your words."

The new nickname is making you lightheaded. You can't believe this is real. "I want you, Rafe."

Sweetest goddamn words he ever heard.

He tips his head to your clothes. "Take it off."

"You first."

He laughs at your competitiveness, always trying to challenge him, but he doesn't resist. He pushes himself off the mattress, pulling off his shirt and removing his pants. All that is left is his boxer-briefs, which reveals the outline of his bulge. "Your turn."

You take off your shirt and your shorts and decide, last minute, to go the extra mile and unclasp your bra too. It falls over your shoulders and you throw it out onto the floor.

Rafe takes his time, staring at your tits. He has seen you naked before, the consequence of your intimate relationship that pushes the boundaries into blurred lines and the inevitable collision of morning showers in his ensuite and drunken exchanges after parties.

But this time, it's different. This time, it's a sight that's intentional—just for him.

"Do you know how long I've waited for this?"

You gawk at him, the words send a thrill down your spine. "Do you know how long I waited for this?" You gesture back to him, at his naked frame, and he smirks.

"You got an eyeful last night."

"Oh, shut up," you use your leg to kick him, but Rafe catches your ankle in the process. Your eyes widen as he uses the opportunity to spread your legs apart, sinking between your thighs. His gaze finds your soaked panties.

His thumb traces across your panties, drawing out your wetness against the fabric and collecting your arousal. You whimper, aching into his touch.

"Rafe, please." You beg. His eyes lifts to find yours in a self-satisfied grin. He loves knowing you're this desperate for him, only him, that his fingers hook under the band of your panties.

"Lift your hips for me." He commands and you obey. He pulls off your panties and hauls you to the ledge of his bed. With that, his fingers caress your wet slit, drawing out a low moan from you. "Fuck."

He has imagined that sound a thousand times over, but it's incomparable to the real thing. To know you're feeling this way because of him. He feels himself growing harder, straining against the thin fabric and begging to be inside of you.

But he wants to pleasure you first.

Rafe lowers himself and covers your clit with his mouth. He proceeds to suck, his fingers grazing your entrance before plunging a thick digit inside.

You tip your head against the mattress, reveling in the feel of his tongue against your swollen nub, the way he thrusts into you with a steady pace and the additive finger. Your legs drape over his shoulders, closing him in.

"Fuck, baby, you taste so sweet," Rafe mumbles against you, the vibration of his words stirring something inside of you. "I can't believe I haven't been tasting you every single fucking night."

You draw out with a breathy moan, feeling yourself clench at his words. "We have all the time now."

"I bet I can make you come on my face fast, though."

You don't get a chance to entertain the response before Rafe sucks harder, pumping inside of you with a determined speed that causes you to arch off the mattress and claw at his sheets.

"Shit," you whimper, squeezing your thighs together at the intense pleasure, forcing Rafe to use his free hand to push your legs apart. You feel your climax rapidly approaching. "Oh, god, oh, god."

You come on his face, as promised, and you slump back against the bed, catching your breath. Rafe removes his hand from your cunt, the emptiness causes a little whine.

"What?" He looks at you.

"Nothing," you mumble, "I just want you inside me."

He laughs. "God, you're needy," he teases, causing heat to rise to your cheeks. "Don't worry, baby, you'll get it soon."

He goes to his nightstand and pulls out a condom. Just as he's about to tear it open, he glances down at you, extending the small square. "Want to do it?"

You nod, pushing yourself upright and taking it from his hands. You rip it open, as Rafe removes his boxers, and his cock springs free, red and swollen with a bit of precum. You smile, glancing up at him with your doe eyes. "Is that because of me?"

"Shut up."

You giggle, rolling the latex over his length, taking your time to admire his size. He's big and perfect, the tip of his cock dripping with his precum that you almost wish you could take him inside your mouth instead. However, despite the recent orgasm, your body wants him inside.

"Lay back." He commands thickly. "Spread your legs."

You do as he says, throbbing from the control he has in the room. Rafe sinks his knees into his mattress, approaching you as he pushes your thighs apart and lines his tip against your entrance, causing your breath to shorten.

"Come on, wildflower, breathe with me."

You nod shakily, closing your eyes for a moment to inhale a calming breath before he plunges deep inside you, filling you to the hilt. A gasp escapes you, his girth stretching you out, but it soon fades into a pleasure unlike any others.

"God, you feel good," he mumbles, lowering himself to your mouth and capturing your lips into a hot kiss. Your hand drapes over his shoulders as he begins to thrust inside of you. "Too fucking good."

You feel perfect. All of this is too perfect. The way you press against him, your fingernails scraping his back, the way your pussy grips him with the ideal amount of pressure, and the way your lips sync with his as if you were made for him.

The air fills with your whimpers and mewls, increasing in volume with each thrusts that enters and leaves you, while Rafe is heaving in breathy grunts and moans. He pushes your legs back, forcing the new position to grant him deeper access into your sweet cunt.

He's hitting new spots you didn't know were possible. It's making your eyes roll to the back of your head, your cries coming out with desperate pleas, that he had to cover your mouth with his to swallow all the noises.

When you feel yourself reaching a familiar high, the buzz tingling between your legs, you grip his shoulders tight. Rafe feels your walls fluttering around him, and he quickened his pace, sweat breaking across his forehead.

Your breath is heavy, your heart is racing, and as you ascend into your peak, you moan out Rafe's name with such euphoric satisfaction, he comes with you, emptying into the condom.

When he finishes, he falls into the space next to you. His breathing is rough, trying to catch his own breath, that you can't help but turn your gaze to his, examining him under this new light.

Rafe catches you staring, the way your eyes lift to his hairline, and he reassures with a soft brush against your jaw. "It'll grow back, I promise."

"it's not that." You declare, dropping your gaze down to his face. You still can't believe the embarrassment you still feel by how attractive he is. "I like it."

"You do?"

"Why else would I hide from you?"

Rafe scoffs, shaking his head with a ghost of a smile on his lips. His hand drops to your waist, pulling you closer to him until you're skin-to-skin, your breasts pressing against his chest.

"You couldn't tell me the whole time?" He mumbles, kissing your nose. You giggle.

"If I did, we wouldn't be here having sex."

He takes a moment to consider your words, before finding some merit in them. "Fair." He declares, just as his eyes find yours again. This time, he can look at you, knowing you're his. "I guess next time I get a new haircut, I can propose, huh?"

Your heart drops. Your smile fades from surprise. "What?"

He laughs at your expression. "You think I'm letting you go after this? It's either us or nothing."

Maybe reality isn’t too bad.

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minihotdog · 3 months

Text

Have You Seen My Boyfriend?

Summary: You see Simon in the mask for the first time

C/W: angst (?)

A/N: I've been wanting to write this fic for a while now and I didn't really know what to do with it BUT @celestialwhoree wrote this lovely fic right here and it lit a fire under my ass. I also don't think Simon would wear his mask outside of combat-active areas sooo I threw that out the window to make this work.

Word Count: 723

He didn’t even remember that he still had that damn balaclava on when they touched down on the runway. Months had gone by and eventually, as it always did, it began to feel like a second skin.

He never let you see him with it on either. Simon made sure to keep Ghost on the field and Simon at home. He’d watched countless men throughout his career take work home with them and the damage it left on everyone they touched. He wasn’t perfect. He had his own struggles in disconnecting from the adrenaline and danger, but he’d been meticulous so far.

Since you came into his life the balaclava stayed in his ready-to-go bag that you weren’t allowed to touch.

The bulk of the unit grabs their bags and heads towards the hangar as fast as they can, happy to be freed from the C-130 they’d been cramped into like sardines for hours. Their families wait for them, cheering as they get closer.

Simon knew you didn’t like crowds and messaged you to meet him at the compound instead, he’d instructed a private to let you inside the barrack’s common area to wait for him.

You were sitting on an ugly old brown couch fidgeting with your fingers. He’d been gone for months and your excitement to have him back home was mixing with the anxiety of being in this environment that didn’t feel right for you to be in. You wondered if he’d get in trouble for letting you be there.

At some point, you get on your feet and begin pacing away from the door in case they barge in to take you away for being in a restricted area unsupervised.

Simon detours to throw his bags in his office before heading towards the common area. His weapon and clips are long gone, turned into the armory waiting for his next embarkment. His vest is still snug on his frame, his skeleton-printed gloves still donned with months of sweat and grime soaked into the fabric, and his forgotten balaclava sticking to him absentmindedly.

You jump out of your skin in fear when the door swings open and spin around on your heels to meet your awaiting demise. Your nerves don’t subside when a giant man steps into the room. All the air suddenly gets sucked out.

He’s covered head to toe and the only thing your eyes can focus on is the skull print on his face. He closes the door behind him, his eyes not leaving yours.

You swallow harshly, trying to force words out. Or do anything to save yourself.

“Have you seen my boyfriend?” You squeak out. You watch the mask move over his features and you avoid his eyes at all costs. The overcast from the eyeholes makes them look like black holes.

“Y/n,” He breathes out while taking a step closer. You swear to yourself he almost sounds like your Simon but the alarm bells continue going off at the sight of him. You take a step back and in his exhausted state, it finally clicks. His eyes close and his eyebrows furrow in disbelief. He looks over you taking in your reluctance and the fear coursing through you.

Fuckin’ Hell

He reaches up slowly to not scare you. His fingers pull at the fabric at the top of his head slowly pulling the balaclava off to reveal his all-to-familiar face, his messy blond locs sticking out in every direction.

“Jesus, Simon!” You gasp, running to him and banging on his chest. “You scared the shit out of me! What the fuck!”

He wraps his arms around you, pinning you to his chest. You writhe in his arms trying to escape.

“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to.”

You look up into his sad chocolate brown eyes now freed from the darkness that hid them before. “I never wanted you to see that, doll. That isn’t me, I promise.” His voice comes out soft and full of regret.

He yanks his gloves off letting them fall to the ground so he can lace his fingers in your hair. He holds you against his chest, occasionally brushing his lips against your forehead.

Cats out of the bag.

He doesn’t know what to do now. What if this is the start of something he can’t prevent?

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley drabble

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itsbuckytm · 7 months

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Nap Time. / Mike Schmidt

Summary : You knew Mike ever since moving next door to his. While you were suggesting to look for a job and him in deed for a babysitter, to keep Abby during his night shifts. You accepted even at times to offer overtime, due to the nights at his work being somewhat more difficult than he had thought. Meaning having to also prepare tonight's dinner when Mike went to take a Nap. Warning : None, Just fluff!

Enjoy!

Mike had diligently prepared your paychecks for the past few months. Despite facing personal challenges, he consistently maintained his commitment to honesty. However, as he handed you your paycheck this time, there was a noticeable change in his demeanor. His gaze appeared strangely vacant, and he seemed to avoid eye contact, in line with his prior preference for avoiding meaningless, drawn-out conversations. You couldn't help but observe his bloodshot eyes and the dark circles underneath them, signaling that he hadn't enjoyed a peaceful night's sleep in quite a while.

Although you offered to stay a little longer, realizing that dinner wasn't ready and Abby was getting ready for bed, he firmly declined, shaking his head nervously, his stuttering making his anxiety apparent. "No–Noo– It’s– Abby can–" It was at this moment that you understood he had lost everything. The memories from that second night at the Pizzeria and the children were haunting him. He began to disconnect from reality, feeling his body temperature rise and sweat bead on his forehead. If Mike wasn't already in a state of torment, he had surely been gone for a long time.

"I insist." You firmly stated, believing in your words this time. Abby, who had been hesitant to peek from outside her room, came over to hug you. Seeing that you were still there, she tugged at the end of your shirt, signaling that you could stay even if her brother had chosen not to. She preferred spending more time with you, especially after all the recent events. While she deeply cared about her brother, she understood that sometimes adults needed their space, particularly when it involved taking Abby away from Mike and into the care of her aunt, who she herself had strongly objected to it.

Mike observed the two of you, momentarily captivated by how he managed to keep his composure after all he had been through. He let out a sigh, soothingly rubbed his neck, and finally agreed before Abby could voice another protest directly. "Alright, alright. It wouldn't hurt if you stayed a little longer... Maybe to also getting dinner ready too?"

A smile graced your features as you graciously accepted his request, fully aware of his fatigue. "I'll go take a nap if you... don't mind?" Without waiting for your response, he promptly headed to his room, leaving Abby and you alone in the room. "He's been rather grumpy lately." Abby remarked, her expression conveying her amusement as you playfully ruffled her hair. "Can I help?" She then offered to assist you with dinner, a proposition you welcomed with enthusiasm. "Of course. How about I handle the vegetables, and you mix everything?" Abby's face lit up with delight, and she eagerly took your arm, guiding you both to the kitchen.

The cooking process unfolded smoothly, with you patiently waiting for the spaghetti sauce to simmer according to your mother's cherished recipe, allowing it to develop its flavors over a few hours. As Abby settled in to watch her favorite nighttime comedy shows, you made the decision to rouse Mike from his nap before dinner was ready. You couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt knowing he was in a somewhat disheveled state.

Carefully entering his room, your eyes wandered around, taking in the old drawings, family photographs, and a few posters that appeared to be recent additions, their sheen reflecting the moonlight streaming in through the window. Moving closer to his slumbering form, you gently brushed your fingers across his cheek, prompting him to emit a few soft whimpers in response to your tender touch. You couldn't help but smile, and as you continued to caress his cheek, you noticed his fingers entwining with yours. Initially, you thought it might be a sign to stop, but he murmured, "Please continue..." So softly that it nearly startled you, caught off guard by his vulnerability.

Mike unmistakably recognized your presence, discerning your perfume's scent and the tender affection you consistently bestowed upon him whenever the opportunity arose. However, tonight felt notably distinct, one of those nights when he needed your support the most. It pained him to see you openly caring for a guy burdened with numerous life problems, yet it was one of the aspects about you that he strangely admired, particularly your strong bond with Abby. As you prepared to rise and apologize for waking him so abruptly, he urged you to do the opposite. "Stay for a little while." he murmured, his words soft and slightly hoarse due to his dehydration, as he struggled to express himself.

In response, you emitted a soft hum and nodded, though you were uncertain if he truly meant it. He gently took hold of your wrist, assisting you in settling on his bed in front of him, his body shifting closer to yours. He rested his head on the crook of your neck, exhaling the familiar scent he had always been infatuated with. Though initially feeling a bit uneasy, you nervously cleared your throat and mentioned that dinner was nearly ready. However, he declined, saying, "Abby will know when to... Just stay here for a while."

You realized that declining wasn't even an option as Mike's arms were wrapped around your waist so tightly that he showed no intention of letting go any time soon. Although the sudden display of affection caught you off guard, you couldn't help but thoroughly enjoy this tranquil moment. Your soft smile graced your lips, and at just the right moment, Mike's eyes opened from his deep slumber, fixing on yours with a quizzical brow raised at the sight of your unexpected smile.

"What's the smile for?" He inquired, though he understood the meaning behind it and pretended not to, instead focusing on admiring every feature of your face. You shrugged, perhaps waiting for Mike to provide an answer, but he insisted that you share your thoughts. "I suppose it's just about sharing this moment with you." You confessed with a gentle smile.

"Is it?" He inquired, adopting a teasing tone, causing your cheeks to flush with warmth in response to the unexpected situation. Despite working as a babysitter for Mike, you had never anticipated or considered the possibility of a deeper relationship, let alone sharing his bed at this moment. As you found yourself also admiring his face, a subtle tingling sensation fluttered in your stomach—a mix of desire and affection for the man who had initially been nothing more than a neighbor.

"It is." You firmly concurred, your smile now more at ease. You couldn't help but giggle at how silly you must have sounded, only to then realize that the man who loved you, perhaps even adored you, had been right there in front of you all along. "I'm glad then..." He whispered softly, gently caressing your cheek. He showed no intention of releasing you for a while, even when he sensed your desire to do so, as the aroma of tomato sauce filled the entire house, signaling that dinner was ready.

"Nuh-Uh." He protested with a playful pout, fully aware of where your attention had swiftly shifted. "Pasta can wait just a little longer, please." He pleaded, emphasizing the word 'please.' His protest was more of a source of amusement than a genuine plea for pity. This time it was more of an theatrical performance, and you understood his intention. Even though you didn't make a strong effort to comply, you decided to stay a little longer, especially when you felt his lips against your skin. “I bet you even taste better than your mom’s spaghetti..” His journey from your neck to your collarbone brought a smile to your lips, intensifying the blush that had adorned your cheeks earlier.

In an attempt to deflect from your deepening blush, you attempted to cover it, but Mike had the time to gently lifted your chin as he turned your body to face him. "Did I ever told you that you look like an angel sent from above?" He boldly stated, making you initially think he might have lost his mind with such a bold compliment. However, you chuckled casually and replied. "I suppose so?" You decided to play along, mimicking the playful banter he had engaged in earlier, feigning innocence with a hint of sarcasm. To your surprise, this seemed to arouse him even more, making him desire you exclusively.

"You know."A familiar and youthful voice suddenly chimed in between the two of you, and Abby's figure peeked into Mike's room. You heard a sigh of annoyance, coupled with a sense of embarrassment, as you both realized where you had been all this time. Mike chuckled, "Yes, yes, Abby. We'll be right there for dinner."

"You heard her," you declared, joining Abby to help her get ready to serve dinner. Just as you were about to rise, Mike couldn't hide a pout, one that compelled you to lean in and press a soft kiss on his lips without hesitation. "Come on, grumpy old man. I'm hungry," you playfully protested, rubbing your stomach and indicating that he wouldn't receive any more kisses if he didn't comply. He sighed but abandoned the idea of keeping you both in bed, realizing his own hunger as his stomach grumbled in agreement.

As you got up and left the room, you glanced back at him with affectionate eyes before finally leaving to join Abby. It was in that moment that Mike fully comprehended the depth of what was happening—sharing his life with someone else, someone he loved and cared for deeply. It was something he hadn't expected, but here you were.

For once, Mike felt a sense of rest and inner peace.

#mike schmidt imagine #mike schmidt imagines #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #josh fnaf #josh fnaf gif #josh hutcherson x reader #josh hutcherson #fnaf movie #fnaf x reader #micheal afton x reader #william afton #mike schmidt x you #josh hutcherson imagine #fnaf movies

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miniversse · 2 months

Text

⭑ “flaws and all” ⭑

⭑ bang chan x female reader

⭑ content includes: sex, oral (f receiving, m receiving), releasing, weed, body insecurity, scars, established relationship, non idol chan, non idol reader, pet names (baby, channie), build up

⭑ note: if you want to jump to the nsfw content, i have placed a dash indicating the beginning of it, but the build up is worth it! (this piece is low key chan worship hshshs)

⭑ minors dni

⭑——————————————————⭑

it was 02:34 am. you and chan lay in his bed, the dim purple light of his room illuminating his peaceful face. the room smelt of your boyfriends weed and black musk fragrance, two scents intertwined with one another in your mind. his raspy voice makes an appearance over the faint music playing…

“what do you love me for, y/n?”

his question pierced the silence between you, and you answer him with as much honesty as your physical state can offer.

“a lot chan, a lot. maybe your voice, your face, your personality, your dedication, your patience, your love. a lot”

he turns to face you, eyes red and heavier than ever, but oh prettier than ever. the corner of his lips slightly curve upwards for a slight second and he fidgets with his earring. you didn’t lie when you said those things to him. no matter what chan did, he was perfect to you.

“so… you’re telling me you don’t care about the scar on my back? my unhealthy addiction to weed? my anger issues you have to deal with? my unbelievably long work hours? my body changes?” he takes another smoke of his rolled joint, ironically, before continuing. “i mean, i don’t know. there’s a lot of shit you don’t have to deal with, ‘yknow?”

“i know chan, but people aren’t close-minded like that. of course i see more good in you than bad”

“but that’s the thing y/n, i don’t want you to see bad in me”

“baby” you stop to place a hand on his hair, raising his bangs up only for them to fall back down.

“i love you, flaws and all”

it’s almost like a spell was casted as he grabs you and places you above his body, connecting his lips with yours. they felt warm and plush as always. his kisses were hungry and full, taking you all in with every time you connected. his tounge dances with yours, the sounds of your make out session bounce across his walls. he kissed you until he couldn’t breathe anymore. disconnecting

from you with a string of saliva.

the way his eyes looked into yours spoke enough for you to understand how much he appreciated you. he grabs your neck from behind, lowering your head down to make your ear parallel to his lips.

“if you love me flaws and all, show me. yeah?” he whispers to make sure only you could hear him. he plants a kiss on your ear before letting you go, letting you be free, letting you do everything you desire to do, because you fucking loved him.

within a few swift moves, you both remained in your undergarments, making out again while you touch around his member, feeling it harden and rise.

“let me get on my knees”

he lets out a breathy chuckle as you get down to the cold floor on your knees, waiting for him to adjust by the edge of the bed. the music had stopped by now, but the drunk party goers outside filled the silence, and soon will your moans

your fingers wrap around the hem of his boxers, sliding down the fabric that was in a losing game with his cock. you couldn’t wait and so couldn’t he, so you begin to lick the precum forming from his swollen cock. his head darts back quickly, using you hair as a handle. your tongue glides down and up, until he’s fully coated with your saliva. your mouth then takes his cock in, struggling to fit it all. but chan begins to thrust his hips, forcing it down your throat. he whines and moans endlessly.

“mmh, baby. fuh-king shit.”

you pick up the pace, knowing that pulsating was signaling his release. your tongue glides over his member while your mouth reaches to the end of its length, gagging through the process. and at last, your mouth felt warm and heavy with his release. you swallowed it whole, licking any excess off of him.

“shit, shit, shit, fuuckk.” his jaw was fixated on being open as his head fell back, the veins on his neck making an appearance.

“baby you’re, mh, so good”

“i can be better”

you push him back up to the mattress, laying on top of him and letting him strip you bare. his fingers left hot trails where ever he touched you. and both your cores were empty and desperate. your hand makes way to his back, tracing his scar several times until chans eyes grew heavier, and hungrier.

“leave it baby, focus on me”

“it’s apart of you, channie. no one else can have such beautiful marks”

he licks his lips and smiles, his cheeks turn a soft pink, and you know you’ve brought him back to the chan you know.

he guides your waist closer to his member, raising your body above his cock and looking into your eyes for any hesitation, but they only showed love and desperation to have him inside you. he pushes your body down and you synchronize in grunts and moans. he stretches you out while passionately placing kisses on your chest. his hunger doesn’t hold back as he helps you ride his lower torso.

“y-you’re flaws make me love you even more. in my eyes, th-they are perfect imperfections-s”

he didn’t stop to react or to say anything, rather he took more control of you, making you slam into him faster, harder and more lovingly. you moaned into his ears and he did the same. chan would whimper from time to time, and it made you reach your climax even faster.

“come with m-me baby, ok?” he groans into your ear

“mmh, but i’m a-almost there”

“y-yeah, a-almost there”

his hands give in, and he leaves the rest to you. you’re legs begin to shake and your bodies prepare to release. you slam into him one last time, and your arousals commence together, your releases dripping out of your pussy. he lifts your body off and lays you down on the mattress, his head moving down to your swollen, pulsating pussy.

“let me taste us”

his tongue follows a straight, strict path from your vagina to your clit, taking pauses to swallow whatever gathers in his mouth. your eyes roll to the back of your head as he sucks and licks cluelessly. with no shame whatsoever, you come again and straight into chans mouth. his laugh vibrates in your pussy as you moan sweet nothings to him.

it’s back to how it was, except it was 03:11am, you and chan lay in his bed, naked. the dim red light of his room illuminating his flushed face. the room smelt of sex, your boyfriends weed and black musk fragrance, three scents intertwined with one another in your mind. his quite snores keep you up all night, but so does your tireless finger tracing every curve of his body.

“you’re art, chan”

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forthelostones · 2 months

Text

an: ty so much for 800 followers you’re amazin!!!!

being with abby was different than you expected. although on the outside she could seem a little tough, it was nothing of the sort on the inside. the gestures that she considers small are so monumental to you. ironing your clothes, dusting your bookshelf, organizing your messy desk, and while to her it was second nature, it showed an immense level of love to you. and it was true you loved her.

when she kisses you, even if it was a simple peck, the energy transferring between the two of you was pure. abby loves kissing you. she liked the feeling of your tongue slipping in between her lips and into her mouth. she’d moan against you and fill her big hands up with the layers of you crumbling under her. naturally, she let you take the lead, allowing your mouth to explore parts of her body she never knew needed to be kissed. her eyes would never leave your body. even your insecurities highlighted under the dull light of the moon weren’t hidden from her — she is always drunk with the sight of you. the way your body clung to the sheets in a sweaty, sex sheen was blissful for abby to witness. abby was vocal in bed, always affirming you, making sure you were comfortable.

“s’pretty. i really like that. yes… please, don’t stop”

it would make your body boil with an undeniable warmth. abby liked to be close to you, so when she’d spread her legs as far as they would go and invite you to use her pussy in whatever way you liked.

“wanna feel you,” she’d whisper into your ear, then sticking her tongue out to lick then suck on your earlobe.

abby’s cunt was slippery with desire. she’d wrap her arms around your back and hold you close to her chest as she moved against your body to feel your needy clit on her lips. without disconnecting, her mouth would find your neck, bitting and sucking at that spot that was so sensitive — and she knew it.

“come with me please?” she said, as she slammed her hips into yours, itching for more connection.

#abby anderson smut #lesbian #abby anderson x you #abby x reader #abby smut #abby anderson tlou2 #abby the last of us #tlou abby

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amnesique · 9 months

Note

jealous conrad fisher? smut if you want, but it doesn't need to be

false god — conrad fisher

(gif made by @conradfiisher , all credits to the creator)

warnings: SMUT (18+, MINORS DNI), car sex, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, p in v, slightly praise kink (not mentioned but—), NOT PROOFREAD

you were outside at a college party and you were talking to some guy that approached you while you were waiting for your boyfriend to show up. you didn't know what was taking him so long, but you were starting to feel uncomfortable that the guy wouldn't stop looking at you up and down, even though you already mentioned that you had a boyfriend who you were waiting for.

disconnecting from the conversation for a few seconds, you pulled out your phone and texted conrad, your boyfriend, to let him know that that guy was bothering you and to hell him to hurry up. exactly then the guy wrapped his arm around your neck, pulling you towards his body and forcing you to look up from your phone to his face.

"are you texting your boyfriend?" he asked, grinning like a douchebag, leaning even closer to you, if that was even possible.

what was wrong with him? didn't he believe you that you had a boyfriend or did he take it as some kind of a sick challenge?

you tucked your hair behind your ear, putting your phone back in your pocket, wanting to take his arm off of you, but he held you close. "yeah," you said, shifting your weight from one leg to the other. "i actually am," you smiled politely, trying in vain to be nice to such a piece of shit.

"where is he?"

"he is right fucking here," conrad's voice spoke from behind you two and it made you let out the breath you hadn't even realized you'd been holding, your body relaxing a bit as the guy removed his arm off of you to turn around and look at your boyfriend. "that's my girl in case you didn't know,” he added and moved closer to you and placed his hand protectively on your waist.

the boy threw his hands in the air, pretending not to know anything about it, and you almost laughed in his face, while conrad held back himself from killing him.

he left, so it was just you with conrad, but his grip around your waist hadn't loosened. he was still stressed, you could feel it in his touch, but at the same time your mind was going elsewhere when you remembered how his fingers felt on his skin.

"what was all that about?" he asked you, continuing to look in the direction the guy had taken her, but you couldn't help but look at how good he looked. your mind didn't seem to work every time he would appear around you, mostly when he would touch you like that.

you shrugged, and that was the first time he had ever looked only in your direction, focusing now all of his attention on you. "i did told him that i have a boyfriend, but i guess he took it as a challenge."

conrad grinned and he pressed you against his body, continuing to keep his hand around your waist. "you're so stunning, i'm not surprised he dared to take a look at what's mine," he said, caressing your cheek with the thumb of his free hand as you locked your gaze on his.

he knew the effect his words had on him. he knew how to make you melt in his hands, how to make you a complete disaster under his touch.

"are you saying you're jealous?" you asked, looking at his lips, noticing how he laughed and you felt your whole body shake when he did it.

"i don't have reasons to be jealous when i know i'm the only one you think of," he said and his hand moved from your cheek to the chain around your neck that he had given you, tugging on it gently.

you longed for his kiss, for him. and he knew it, and that's why he was dragging it out as long as he could, until he would've lost his mind too. it wasn't easy at all for him to look at you and not kiss you, but it was worth teasing you a little bit.

both of his hands moved down to your ass, on top of the material of your dress, pinning you against his body, and kissing your neck, making you rest your head on his shoulder and letting out a weak whimper right next to his ear.

his teasing was already becoming his torture because he couldn't afford doing more than this to you in public, so he whispered in your ear. "do you want to take this to my car?"

you nodded, feeling how he wanted you too because of the approaching between your bodies. "yes, please," you said and he grinned into your hair, staying a little longer in the moment and after that, he rushed to the car, pulling you by your hand after him.

you awkwardly chuckled behind him. it was kind of funny how needy you both were when it came to the other, how easily you would've ignite for one another.

when you two got to the car, the both of you stopped and looked at each other. conrad was unsure of his next move, and he just kept caressing your hand that he was still holding, looking at you as if he could see through you, even though it was actually dark where his car was parked. "soo," he said, exaggerating the last letter. "how will it go?"

you grinned at him, and he felt the ground slipping from under his feet, as you opened the driver's door, motioning for him to climb in first. he looked at you confused for a second, but your grin wouldn't go away, so he eventually caught on your idea, so he climbed in, pushing his chair all the way back and reaching his hand out to you.

you accepted his hand and sat yourself carefully with your thighs on either side of his lap as you closed the door immediately behind you.

you leaned into him, your chest pressing against his, and you kissed him, slowly, wanting to make him lose his mind like he did with you.

he placed one hand placed on your waist —and you let out a sound right then— and the other placed on your cheek, caressing it in circles. the ring on his thumb made such a lovely contact with the skin of your cheek and it made you lose yourself in the kiss, at one point even slightly parting your lips, at which point he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

your tongues teasing each other, fighting for dominance, as the kiss only increased your desire even more.

he had been the first to break the kiss, his hand still on your cheek and his breathing heavy as he said, "i need to feel you."

and you felt the same need.

you agreed, bringing your foreheads together, just enough to try and steady your breathing as you felt yourself starting to get even wetter at those words, and feeling him hard right under your ass.

because you were wearing a dress, you only had to deal with his clothes, so you slipped your hands between your bodies to undo his pants. feeling a little freer, conrad made a faint sound of relief, and he moved his hips a little higher —making your front sliding right against his erection, making you let out a soft sound as well—, to make your work easier.

once his jeans and his boxers were out of your way, you stood up a little, him helping you put your underwear aside, and when you laid back down on him. he buried himself inside of you, inch by inch, making you rest your head on his shoulder to mask the needy whimpers that escaped your lips.

he lifted your chin with two fingers, making you look into his green eyes that were burning into your skin, leaving his mark on you. “let me hear you,” he whispered, and then, seeing how you looked at him, he couldn't help but connect his lips with yours in another tender kiss.

his movements were full of desire, but also tender, moving somewhat slowly inside you as he kissed you like his life depended on it and as one hand of his massaged your clit.

you were grinding on top of him, putting your hands on either side of his neck as he helped you, holding you by your waist with his free hand, lifting you up and down on him.

it felt so good, way too good, that you started moaning into the kiss, knowing how much he loved hearing you.

"you're doing such a good job," he whispered in your ear, taking a break from kissing your lips, and going to place kisses on your neck.

you dropped your head to the side to give him more access to your neck, arching your back, and you felt yourself tighten slightly around him.

"just like that," he groaned next to your ear, increasing the rhythm in which he massaged your clitoris, him wanting to bring you to your orgasm as quickly as possible, because himself also couldn't last much longer.

your hands slid from around his neck to his shoulders, you pulling him close to you as the knot in your stomach felt too tight, almost close to breaking free.

both of your breaths had become rushed once again. you could hear him next to your ear as you could even hear yourself. that rushed they were.

"i'm sure no one could've made you feel this good, right?" he asked you, feeling your walls tighten more around him.

you nodded, chasing after your orgasm and starting to kiss him under his near, on his neck, on his jaw.

his jaw clenched, struggling to hold himself back a little longer, even if his movements had become sloppy. "tell me, do you think that douchebag would've made you feel this good?"

you couldn't believe what you were hearing, but still, his jealousy had just been what made you let go.

unable to hold on even longer, as he felt the release wash over you, and your breathing slowly beginning to ease against his neck, conrad let go as well, his release filling you as a little bit of it was leaking down your inner thighs.

with him still inside you and you on his shoulder, your breathing had calmed down, but you hadn't forgotten what he said exactly before you finished, so you looked up to look at his eyes.

"you said you're not jealous,” you said amused.

he looked at you with his lips parted and his short front hair catching in his eyes. "well, i'm not."

you moved a little on top of him, as he whimpered and you shivered, so you can put your hands around his neck and get a better look at him. "and then what was that before?"

“i don't know what you're talking about,” he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“you do,” you said with a grin on the corner of your mouth. “ too well” you added, as you leaned over him to capture his lips into another kiss.

#the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #tsitp fanfic #tsitp x reader #tsitp x you #tsitp x y/n #conrad fisher #conrad fisher fanfic #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher x y/n #conrad fisher fluff #conrad fisher smut #team conrad

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venuslore · 5 months

Text

𖥔 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𖥔

summary ; after being rescued, emotions are high when jj finally comes to terms with what happened between you on the island.

notes ; jj x best!friend reader, ANGST, profanities, eventual fluff, kissing. let me know if i forgot any !

do not transfer, translate or share my work to any other sites.

nobody in the entire world had ever made you feel so unapologetically yourself as jj maybank did. from the moment you met him, you knew he would become a constant in your life. just talking to him felt as easy as breathing. it was comfortable and warm, and he made you feel seen - jj made everything feel easy with you.

and yet, as you stood on the lawn outside his house, you had never been so afraid of doing just that as you did now.

ever since you got back from the island that jj had dubbed ‘poguelandia’, things had been significantly different, like, something had shifted the dynamic among the group. john b was acting weird, sarah was nowhere to be found, kie and pope were on lockdown, cleo with him, and jj… well, jj had been distancing himself, but specifically from you.

it all felt so wrong. you were pogues, you were meant to have each other's backs through everything, so why did you all feel so disconnected?

with each and every step you take, your nerves only seem to intensify, knowing that you were only a few seconds away from seeing jj. the way things had been left with him you weren’t expecting him to be excited to see you, but you wondered if he would even care that you were there.

making your way around the bend of the house, you're immediately taken when you catch sight of the yellow tape and eviction notice stuck to the front door. do the other’s know about this? you think to yourself. is this why he’s been so closed off from the rest of us?

you all knew that it was going to be the hardest for jj to come back to kildare. he had no one to welcome him back or tell him how worried they were, and now his home was being taken away from him. it hurt your heart to know how much he was dealing with, and there was very little you could do to help ease the burden.

sure, he may not like the place as much anymore, but it was all he had left after luke bailed on him. everything other than the pogues, everything other than you - which, at the moment, you weren't so sure about either.

you hear him before you see him, the sound of metal clanging together followed by an array of curse words filling the air, and your heart sinks as you turn to see him over by the marsh, working on his bike. he looked so peaceful, despite the swearing, and in his element, unaware of your presence and the fact that you were only a measly fifteen steps behind him.

had you not already seen the eviction notice, you would've been arguing with yourself to leave, but there was no way you could do that now. you were there to check on jj, and if anything, he was going to need you now more than ever.

a lot had happened on the island, and so many memories had been made – ones that you would cherish forever, while others you wished you could forget altogether – but you never once imagined how different things with jj would be now.

as you slowly approach the blond, you try to think of something to say to break the ice but come up short when you eventually reach him, deciding on, “do you need a hand?”, instead.

jj takes a quick look at you before returning his attention to his bike, “what are you doing here?” he asks in a way that makes you believe he doesn't want you there.

the bluntness of it catches you off guard, immediately setting off a panic inside you, and you fumble over your words for a moment before settling on what to say next. though you were sure from the way he looked at you, that he didn't really care.

"well, we haven't really spoken since we got back and i just... i wanted to make sure that you were okay," you lift your shoulders into a small shrug, hands fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you offer him a friendly smile - a smile that's fast to fade when he finally turns to look at you properly.

“i’m fine,” is all he says.

you thought that after spending an entire month together, he would know better than to lie to you. you could tell that he wasn’t fine, that something had severely changed in jj. the light that once filled his eyes while you were on the island, spending your days in the sun catching fish, going for late-night swims and making coconut bras, had surely vanished. replaced by dark circles that encapsulated his eyes, proving that he hadn't been getting much sleep either.

“are you sure? because i just-”

“i’m fine,” he repeats, cutting you off in the process. “in fact, i’ve never been better.”

you gesture back to the house where the front door was covered in police tape. “what’s going on, j?”

this time when he speaks, he purses his lips with what you can only assume to be irritation as he continues sifting through his tools again, “i said i’m fine, y/n. just leave it.”

you don’t push him any further, knowing just how stubborn the maybank boy was. he wouldn’t let someone help him unless he was tied down and forced to. jj hated handouts, he hated feeling like he owed someone, so he preferred to do things via his own methods.

“okay. i’ll get out of your hair then,” you nod, burying your hands into your pockets now. “just let me know if there’s anything i can do.”

if he hears your words, he doesn’t bother to show or acknowledge it, too busy tinkering with his bike to pay you any mind. though, you don’t make it very far, only a couple of steps, before he’s opening his mouth to speak once more.

“haven’t you already done enough?” he mutters, scoffing as though he couldn’t believe the audacity of you wanting to help him.

a mix of emotions floods over you as you take in his words, the comment setting a pang off in your chest, and you turn back to him with disbelief, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

there was a bitterness to his words that lets you know his attitude towards you was about so much more than just wanting to know if he was okay. he spoke as if he was blaming you for something, and there was only one thing you knew it could’ve been.

one thing that you knew jj would be willing to use against you.

the cool night air nipped at your skin as you and jj lay on the sand, heads resting in your arms, as you stared up at the starry night sky. you didn’t think you would ever get used to this – sharing such a serene moment with jj – but it had quickly become a nightly ritual in your new island life. if you weren’t watching the stars, you were sitting by the fire, or on nights when the water was still a little warm, you’d be sneaking in a late-night swim.

“would you stay here forever if you could?” the question comes from him so abruptly. “i mean, if you had the option to go back to the obx or stay here, what would you choose?”

“it depends, am i staying here alone or are you guys here with me?” you roll onto your side, resting your head in the palm of your hand as your view changes from the night sky to the blond who seemed to hold the entire galaxy in his eyes.

jj chuckles to himself, “we’d be right here with you, always.” he scrunches his nose at the end, though it feels like there’s a secret weight to the question you don’t know about.

“go back, obviously,” you roll your eyes, watching as jj’s face contorts into an expression of faux sadness, and you playfully tap him on the shoulder, before sitting up, “i’m kidding. i’d choose to stay. if it’s where you’ll be, then so am i.”

a small silence ensues as jj thinks over your answer, and just as you had predicted, there was more to the question than he was letting on. he didn’t care so much about whether you would go or stay, he cared about whether or not you would leave him.

“what about you? if i were back in kildare, would you stay, or would you come back?” you twist his question.

his brows meet in the middle as he sits up to join you, and he pouts his lips as he pretends to be thinking really hard about it, “i’d go… wherever you are.”

“yeah?”

“yeah,” he nods, sharing a look that seemed to only be reserved for you. his eyes dancing over your features and his lip tugs up into a smirk, “after all, what’s paradise if you can’t share it with the people you love?”

you knew he didn’t mean it the way you wanted him to, but hearing him say it, and hearing him say that he would follow you back, ignited a feeling in your tummy that no one else ever had before. there was something about the way he spoke with you as if nothing else in the world mattered, and with the way the moon and the stars were shining down on him, you couldn’t help yourself.

you lean forward, but where you expected him to pull away, he meets you in the middle. there’s an urgency to the kiss, like, he had been waiting for it just as long as you had, and the second your lips touch, you feel sparks exploding inside your chest.

if anywhere in the world is worthy of being called ‘paradise’, you think, it must be this moment right here.

he tries to deepen the kiss, pushing into you more, but before he can pull you closer, pope’s voice calling out to you both causes you to pull apart, and you’re left breathless. your chest rises and falls dramatically as you try to regain your breath, while jj coins his fingers through his hair.

“we, uh, we should probably go,” jj swallows hard, but something in him has changed. he refuses to meet your eyes, refuses to show you any sort of emotion. he doesn’t even wait for you to answer before he’s dusting off the back of his pants and heading back to the group, leaving you bewildered by what had just happened.

“wait, jj,” you follow after him, but he doesn’t bother to stop, his mind solely on getting back to the others. “jj, stop, can we just-”

“no, y/n. we can’t… we can’t be doing shit like that,” he looks disappointed as he stops dead in his tracks. “just… it never happened, okay?”

that was your last night on poguelandia and had you known it would be the last, you certainly wouldn’t have let it end the way that it did. you had tried to talk to jj the next morning, but with the events that followed over the next few days, your mind had been elsewhere.

it was hard trying to get used to being back home, to not waking up with your friends, but eventually, the kiss with jj was all that you could think about; consuming your every thought.

it’s jj’s voice that cuts you from your thoughts, filling you with the same guilt that had been riddling you for the past week or so, “look, i really don’t have time for this.”

“just like you don’t have time for me anymore?” you retort, earning yourself a pointed look from the blond. you didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but it was the truth.

he snickers, dropping the tool in his hand on the table, before leaning against it, “no. it means, i don’t have time for this. look, you don’t need to worry about me anymore, okay? just… go, y/n. go back to your family, and your home, and let me be.”

the sound of your heart thrumming rapidly in your chest fills your ears as tears prick at the corners of your eyes. this wasn’t the jj you had spent the last month with, he was rigid and cold, and there was a look in his eyes – a twinge in his gaze as he looked at you – that made you believe that this was all your fault.

jj had never been so ruthless with you before, and seeing your best friend in such a way had you sick to your stomach.

“where is all of this coming from, j?” your voice is shaky, and yet, the only answer you’re met with is silence as your biggest fear manifests before your eyes.

you felt so small – small enough that you hoped the world would open up and swallow you whole – while jj busied himself with his tools once again, moving on as if he didn’t have a care in the world. like, everything that had happened that night, and everything he had said, was because of you. as if he hadn’t played a part in it too.

deciding that you weren’t going to take all the blame for this, you walk to the other side of the table so that he has no choice but to look at you, “you can’t just shut me out like this, okay? you’re my best fucking friend, j, and i’m not going to let you push me away.”

for a split second, jj closes his eyes as his head falls between his shoulders. you wondered what was going through his head, if he even cared about how you were feeling, or if he was just thinking of a way to get rid of you. but the words that leave his lips aren’t what you were expecting at all.

“please… just go home, y/n.” he lets out an exasperated sigh, but when he sees the determined look in your eyes, he knows that you’re not going anywhere. so he takes matters into his own hands and starts to walk away.

“jj, please stop. if i could take it all back, i would. i would take it all back in a heartbeat, but i can’t,” you feel a weird sense of deja vu as you follow behind him desperately, much like you had that night on the island. “i see the way you look at me, how much you resent me for it, okay? i see it. and i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i ruined everything.”

there’s a falter in jj’s movements as he hears the last bit, knowing damn well what it felt like to be the reckoning of all chaos in your own life; to continue down a path that he knows he shouldn’t, but does anyway.

jj looks sad as he slowly turns back around to you, clearly regretting how he had reacted to everything. he starts toying with his fingers, anxiety and worry written all over his face.

“y’know, i keep trying to tell myself that what happened between us meant nothing, that it shouldn’t have happened,” he pauses, heaving a deep breath. his movements become jittery, one hand slightly balled as the other clenches at the air. “but no matter how hard i try, i can’t stop thinking about it and about how badly i wanted it to happen.”

“so why do you keep pushing me away?”

“because it was wrong, and i knew that it was wrong but i still did it anyway.”

“was it wrong because we’re pogues or was it wrong because it was me?” your question lingers in the air for a moment, the silence almost torturous.

all that could be heard was the gentle rise and fall of the waves in the distance.

jj opens his mouth to speak, but he closes it before he does, giving you the answer you needed. you had tried to brace yourself for his answer, but nothing could possibly have prepared you for the hurt you were now feeling.

“got it,” you nod, drawing in your bottom lip and clamping your teeth down to hold back the tears that were begging to see the daylight.

you knew that being a pogue was important to jj – you were the only family he had – so much so that he would end a friendship over it. you knew that there was no getting through to him now, and after everything you’d heard, you didn’t want to stick around any longer.

turning around, you bury your hands into your pockets and start to walk away, not caring about holding back the tears anymore as they slowly start to roll down your face. your vision blurring and eyes glazing over as you trudge across the overgrown grass.

“it was wrong because we’re pogues,” jj’s voice causes you to turn back. “and being a pogue means that we stick together, but i can’t… i can’t lose anyone else, y/n. especially not you.”

confused, you take a step back in his direction, wiping away at the few tears that had fallen, “jj, i’m not going anywhere. you know that, you know -”

“-no, i’m dead serious. i’m not going to risk losing you or fucking this shit up like i do everything else. i won’t do it,” he grits his teeth, hands reaching behind his head before falling back to his sides out of frustration. “and i don’t know why everyone leaves me, but they do – maybe i’m cursed or something – but i sure as hell am not going to let that happen with you.”

“that’s not going to happen, jj.”

“you don’t…” he pauses, a pained expression on his face before it softens. “...you don’t know that.”

you could see that he was in just as much pain as you were over this, his baby-blue eyes glazing over with a mixture of fear and despair. you take another step towards him and, at first, he moves to take one back but stops when you reach for his hand.

“do you remember what you said to me that night? about staying on the island?” he nods. "you said you'd go..."

"... wherever you are." he heaves a deep breath.

"i meant what i said, j, and i know that you meant it too," you move closer, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his body suffusing through him. "and i mean it when i say i'm not going anywhere."

“you promise?” he feels almost stupid for asking it, but he was craving the reassurance.

and you give it to him, “i promise.”

with delicate movements, he lifts your hands to rest against his chest, his eyes not daring to leave your gaze for even a second. he gives you a warm smile, and you smile back, the pad of his thumb rolling over your knuckles before he drops them to caress the sides of your cheeks.

a seed of fear had awoken in your tummy, but when he raises his brows at you, you know that he was certain about what he was doing. you nod, giving him approval and he meets your lips as everything you had been holding back erupts into a long, passionate kiss. jj’s hands move to the back of your head where he pulls you in closer.

this kiss was nothing like the one you shared on the island, it was full of promise. a promise to each other, that no matter what was to happen between you both, you would never leave the other because you were pogues for life, and pogues stuck together.

#— ꒰ ‧ ₊˚ vee daydreams ˖꙳‧ ꒱#jj maybank ᰔ #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank oneshot #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank angst #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank #jj maybank x pogue!reader

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honeywiththemoneyloa222 · 21 days

Text

WHAT REALLY IS THE VOID STATE?

Hi baby

The 3D reality that you’re currently experiencing

Right now is the physical reality

The physical plane

The Void State is just the natural state of consciousness

The most purest form of you

You are not just physical

You are not just a physical being

You are not just a body

You are more than that

You are walking pureness

You are walking consciousness

You are a walking soul

Everything about who you really truly are is

The inside

From your soul

To your subconscious mind to the void state

THAT is who you are

Your body is a result of the 3D

It being a physical reality

You right now are in the state of the 3D physical awareness

In the void, that is the state of pure awareness outside the 3D

In the void state you are no longer in your 3D physical reality

Where your body is

You are pure peace

You are pure love

Just energy

Manifesting in this pure state is possible

Anything you want from changing your past

Having your desired facial features

To waking up with millions of dollars

Is all possible

Everything that happens here

Your worries frustrations

Problems

That exam you fear failing

Your Sp having you blocked

Your crush avoiding you

To your family causing you hell

Not having privacy

Hating your body

Being ignored by friends

Being bullied

Etc etc

Whatever it is you’re going through

Becomes nonexistent when you enter the void state

At some point if your life you ignore the 3D

When you close your eyes to listen to music or to meditate when you watch tv and you’re fully invested in

With your friends or boyfriend or girlfriend

Etc etc

These little moments where your only focus is that one thing or person

This is how easy it is to lose awareness of the 3D

Because we’re always doing it

We’re always in our heads daydreaming

In the Void state you exist only as purely consciousness

You to not exist in the 3D in that moment

Because life itself is one big awareness

You’re here because you’re aware that you exist

You’re alive you know you are

Entering the void is just becoming aware that you are more than a physical body and that everything physical from you in this reality is a result

Think of the void as

When you were first born

Because the void is our original home

This why the Void state IS our home

You’re just going home

Getting the things you want from that house

And coming back here

Like you left your second home(3D) to go get your things(desires) from your original home

The 3D is also our home but it’s not the original one

What can you manifest from the void?

You can manifest from winning the lottery to going to the 2025 Met Gala as a Singer or Model

You can travel to the future or past

Get fairy wings

Shift to a billion realities

Astral project

Always lucid dream

Create portals in those lucid dreams

Change your entire life the exact way you want it

Be famous

Be an astronaut

A college graduate

Affirm you’re the master manifester

That you always get in the void in like 30 second

Change your whole appearance from your body to your skin color to where you were born to your eye color

You can even change your family

Or change your pets

Revise your past

Bring a pet back from the dead

Etc etc

And the best part is

Is that

Is happens when you want it to happen

You want it instantly

You’re gonna wake up with your desires

You are more powerful than you think

The 3D is physical and you are more than physicality

You are way up

You look down at the 3D

There’s no time in the void so obviously you can alter your life to be in a certain time period

If you wanna shift to 2011 to get one direction go for it!

Don’t be scared of the void

It’s you

Why wouldn’t YOU keep you safe?

You’re at your most purest form there’s nothing to be afraid of

Just BE

Breathe until you feel disconnected then just affirm count etc

Symptoms are your bodies reaction to you disconnecting from the physical plane

Ignore it

Because they’re physical

Customize your void it doesn’t have to be pitch black!

The void state is your home

Go home tonight

Get your desires

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girlgenius1111 · 6 months

Text

a cure for frustration

warnings: angst. hurt / comfort. smut. 18+.

You knew from the moment you saw her hop away from the challenge that something was wrong. You felt fear squeeze your heart as you sat on the sub bench, eyes following her every movement. As play continued, Alexia stayed out of the way, walking, and flexing her knee repeatedly. Her knee. You clutched the seat beneath you, knuckles turning white. You heard Claudia say something to you, but you were too were focused on Alexia, wiling her to resume playing, running, anything to show you that she was ok.

You watched as a break in play was called, and Alexia walked over to the sidelines, trainers on her within seconds. You couldn't make out what she was saying, but she was definitely motioning to her knee. You made eye contact, and the fear in her eyes was clear. Play resumed, and she moved to walk over to the sub bench, taking a careful seat next to you, a trainer kneeling in front of her, examining her knee.

"Ale. What is it?" You tried to ask in a calm voice, but you don't think you were very successful, as her hand came to grip yours for a brief moment.

"I don't know. Her knee just drilled right into mine. It doesn't feel right, I don't think it feels right," she responded, and you could hear her voice shaking, as she avoided eye contact with you, opting instead to stare at the gloved hands probing her knee. You wanted nothing more than to pull her into your arms, tug her much taller body into yours, and hold her until the look of fear left her eyes. You couldn't. Not here. Instead, you looked to the trainer in front of her, as he withdrew his hands from her.

"It doesn't seem like anything is wrong. It was probably just a hard blow. We can do scans if you want them, but I really think it's ok" he stated, clearly trying to settle Alexia's nerves. She took a deep breath, thinking, before looking up, jaw clenched, face devoid of emotion.

"Can I go back in?"

"Alexia-" you started, but were cut off by a hand on your knee, calloused fingers squeezing gently in reassurance, and you fell silent, looking at the trainer for an answer.

"If you feel like you can, yes. We'll get scans at the half just in case" he responded, turning behind him to Jonatan, who nodded at Alexia. The midfielder rose from her seat, glancing down at you once, almost as if to reassure you that she was alright. You murmured a soft "good luck," and she was back on the pitch.

You watched, eagle eyed, as she ran across the field, clearly in some discomfort, but running nonetheless. You took a breath, refocusing yourself. You needed to be prepared to sub in, and letting your mind run in circles about your girlfriend was not going to help anyone. You focused on the game instead, not allowing your eyes to track Alexia around the pitch. You saw Esmee's goal, or Alexia's goal rather, and didn't let yourself think about how social media would tear your sweet girlfriend to pieces over her ensuring they scored. You didn't let yourself think about, or feel any of it.

The first half came to a close, and you fell in step with Alexia as she headed into the locker room. She stopped you outside the door to the medical room, and turned to look at you, expression still unreadable.

"Go to the locker room. You need to be with the team, and warm up. I'm fine. I promise" she said all of this very quietly, her green eyes looking into yours. She was still being Alexia, captain of the team, two time Balon D'or winner, not your Ale, her words monotone, expressing none of the love that normally seeped into her voice when she spoke to you. You knew this is what she needed, to stay clinical and disconnected until she knew more, that allowing herself to be anything but emotionless would be too hard. So you nodded, squeezing her arm once.

"You're right, you are fine. I'll see you after" you kept your voice just as disconnected, just as emotionless, as you saw a small smile grace her lips, before she turned, entering the room. You returned to the locker room, knowing you needed to get your head on straight.

-------

The second half passed at a torturous pace, with you subbing on around the 60th minute. You pushed Alexia out of your mind again, throwing yourself into the game, pretending you weren't dying to dash off the field to find out what the scans showed. When the final whistle blew, you shook hands with your opponents and your teammates, trying to decide how long you needed to stay on the pitch for before going to find Alexia. You were still deciding when you felt Mapi come to stand next to you. You'd already shaken hands, but she pulled you into a hug anyway, her face sympathetic.

"Go find her. I'm sure she's fine, but you won't relax until you see her, so just go. I'll cover for you," she spoke quietly into your ear, pulling away from the hug at the end, and smiling at you.

"Thank you, Mapi," was all you could get out before you were on your way into the building, waiting until you were out of sight before you broke into a sprint towards the medical room. You opened the door, heart plummeting when you found it empty. 50 different options of where Alexia might be flew through your head, each one more horrifying than the last. Forcing yourself to take a deep breath and think like a rational person, you turned, heading toward the locker room.

You walked in, and let out a relieved sigh at the sight of Alexia sitting in her locker, hair wet, looking at her phone. She looked up when she heard you arrive, you crossed the room instantly, crouching down in front of her, laying a gentle hand on her knee. You looked up at her, the question you were terrified to ask on the tip of your tongue. She brushed a piece of hair off your flushed face gently, before telling you, "It's fine. The scans were normal. I think I just freaked out."

She seemed slightly embarrassed at this, but you felt all the tension leave your body at her words, letting your forehead fall to rest on her knee. She chuckled above you, resting a hand on your back.

"What, were you worried about me or something?"

You looked up at her with a glare, not enjoying her teasing.

"Not worried for you. Just worried about how insufferable you'd be if you had to sit out again," you retorted, allowing a smile onto your face so she knew you were kidding.

She threw her head back at that, and laughed.

"You're right. It would be so unfortunate for you if I was out of commission for a while. I know how desperate you get" she quirked an eyebrow at you, an easy grin playing on her lips and you felt heat rush to your face, indescribably glad that the locker room was empty. You looked up at her, breath caught in your throat at her words, entranced by her long eyelashes, her full lips, her bright eyes. Just as you opened your mouth to respond, her phone buzzed, and her eyes flew to it, smile falling from her lips. You watched as she read the message, how her eyes hardened at whatever she was looking at.

"What-"

"Shower. Get dressed," she paused, looking down at you with a familiar glint in her eyes. "We have things to do at home." There was no mistaking her meaning, and the speed with which your concern for whatever she had read on her phone left your brain was almost embarrassing. You stood, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek, and turned to your own locker, vowing to get ready to go in a record amount of time.

-------

The car ride home was a different kind of torturous. Alexia driving was a sight to see normally, but today, it really did something to you. Maybe it was the look in her eyes when she glanced over at you, or the way her hand rested high up on your thigh. Her hand placement shouldn't have made you as desperate as it had, but there you were, doing everything you could to sit still and ignore the heat pooling in your lower abdomen. You were doing too good of a job acting unaffected, apparently, because Alexia started to softly rub her thumb back and forth over your clothed thigh. You held your breath, willing yourself not to let out a sound. You eventually had to exhale, however, and it came out sharper and less controlled than you intended. Alexia looked over at you, lips curling up at the edges, before she returned her gaze to the road.

"Something wrong, amor?" She asked, and you swore she was making her voice raspier on purpose. You shook your head in response, deciding your best bet was to stay quiet until you had to speak. She laughed quietly, as she turned into the parking garage. Pulling into her spot, she threw the car in park, veins popping on her hands as she maneuvered the gearshift. She got out of the car quickly, leaving her bag behind, walking over to your door. Knowing better than to open it yourself, you waited until she pulled it open, offering a hand down to you that you took. You stepped out of the car, and she shut the door behind you, placing a possessive hand on your back. You repressed a shudder at the contact, wishing that it wasn't this easy for Alexia to get you so hot and bothered. You could feel wetness pooling in between your legs, from only a few touches and a few smirks, and you hoped that Alexia was in a mood that would appreciate it.

"Vamos, amor. We have things to do" she spoke the words centimeters from your ear, and you quickened your pace, leading the way into the elevator and up to your apartment. The minute you got inside the apartment, she was on you, lips pressing into your neck, arms wrapping around your abdomen, pulling you back into her. Her lips and tongue worked roughly against the sensitive skin of your neck, and you knew she was already leaving a mark. You managed to turn the groan that tried to work its way out of your lips into a heavy breath, causing her to pull her lips away from you. You felt her hot breath on your ear before she spoke.

"No no, bebé. Good girls let me hear how good I make them feel."

At this, you let out a small whimper, allowing your head to fall back against her shoulder. You felt her smile against your neck, her hands pressing back into your abdomen, making you grind back against her. You let her control your motions for a minute, before the contact became not enough, and you turned your head into her neck, knowing exactly how to get what you wanted.

"Ale. Please, baby."

"Already begging? I've barely touched you," she smirked, "tell me what you want, and maybe I'll give it to you"

"Take me to bed, Alexia."

With that, she stepped away from you, turning you around before wrapping her arms around your waist, easily lifting you into your arms, as your legs came to wrap around her. Your lips found hers, and you sighed at the feeling, her tongue sliding into your mouth as she walked you blindly back into the bedroom. Laying you on the bed, she crawled on top of you, never letting your lips lose contact from hers. You made out messily for several minutes, your hands sliding up under her shirt, as hers held her weight above you. She shifted slightly, pressing her knee against your core, and you shuddered, lips stilling against hers. Encouraged by your reaction, she pressed harder against you, and you leaned your head back, inhaling deeply as your hips ground down against her. She pulled back, and your eyes flew open, seeing her kneeling over you, tugging at your shirt, the question unspoken. You nodded, and she pulled it up and over your head, pulling her own off as an after thought.

She leaned back down, immediately connecting her lips to your chest, leaving messy kisses as she trailed over to your nipple, taking it into her mouth and running her tongue over it. Her fingers came up to play with your other nipple, and you closed your eyes again, one hand fisting in the soft comforter, the other coming up to tangle in Alexia's freshly blonde hair. You tried to press her closer to you, and she smiled against you, switching sides to focus on your other nipple. You looked down at her then, and the sight of her staring up at you as her mouth worked against your chest made you crazy. You tugged her back up, until her mouth was level with yours, and tried to connect your lips again. She kept her face just out of reach, however, staring down at you. She was a sight to see. Pupils blown, hair falling freely around her shoulders are she gazed down at you, her eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes. You let out a little whine, hoping she'd appreciate the desperation, and let you kiss her, but suddenly her weight was off your body, and you felt her hands on the waistband of your shorts. Pushing yourself up onto your elbows, you met her eyes where she stood at the edge of the bed, prepared to pull your shorts off.

"Si?" She questioned, looking at you with a softer expression than you'd seen on her all night. You nodded, but she made no further movements, simply raising an eyebrow at you.

"Si, Ale. Si." you responded, desperate for her to get on with it. Satisfied, she stripped your lower half. She moved to climb back on top of you, but you stopped her, sliding a finger under the waistband of her own shorts. Looking down at you, Alexia smiled, making you ask for what you clearly wanted.

"You too" you said, and she replaced your hands at her shorts and underwear, pulling them off slowly, never breaking eye contact with you. Satisfied, you leaned back onto your elbows, happy to take whatever she gave you. Still standing at the edge of the bed, she trailed a single finger down your thigh, her touch feather light, as she traced the various marks and scars along your legs.

If her goal was to make you beg, she didn't have to wait long. You'd been aching for her since she'd spoken to you in the locker room, and you'd never been one to shy away from asking for what you wanted. Especially when it seemed to bring Alexia a fair amount of pleasure to hear your words.

"Baby, please put your mouth on me," you whined. Her eyes darkened at your words, and suddenly she was laying in between your legs, her tongue running through you, and you were falling back onto the mattress. She hummed against you, enjoying the reaction she got out of you and you jerked your hips up against her. Her tongue circled your clit slowly, as her strong hands grabbed your thighs, bringing them up to rest on her shoulders. She moved her mouth down slightly lower, eyes falling shut as she let herself fall into the movements, knowing exactly what you needed from her. Her tongue collected the abundant slick that was leaking out of you, pushing into your entrance, as her nose rubbed against your clit. Your moans filled the room, as did the sounds of her mouth moving against you. You reached a hand down to tangle in her hair, pulling her closer to you.

"More. Need your fingers" you gasped out, body twitching around Alexia's head. She chuckled against you, the vibrations making you jerk up again into her. She moved your leg off one of her shoulders, and pushed your knee to bend, spreading your legs for her. Her mouth moved back up, toying with your clit again, this time her teeth grazing against it every so often. She teased your pussy with one of her fingers, before sinking it into you all at once, relishing in the unholy noise that left your mouth. She added a second finger almost instantly, pulling her mouth away to look at you. Your head was thrown back against the mattress, one hand with the comforter twisted in your fist, the other still in Alexia's hair. You looked absolutely wrecked, eyes tightly shut, your whole upper body flushed red as you gasped for breath against her movements.

She returned her mouth to you with renewed passion, the sight of you enough to make her frantic to make you come. She sucked your clit into her mouth, flicking her tongue over it insistently, as her fingers curled inside of you, hitting the spot she had memorized, sending your hips bucking up into her mouth. Your walls clenched around her fingers, and she knew you were close before you said it.

"Jesus. Fuck! I'm so close." Your words were barely understandable, broken up by whimpers and moans, as you neared your peak.

"Come for me bebé" she murmured the words against you, and you let go, waves of pleasure washing over you as you fell over the edge, hand gripping her hair tightly. You yelled out her name as you came, and she worked you through it, slowing her fingers and tongue until your body unclenched, and you fell limp against the mattress. She pulled her mouth away from you, allowing her fingers to still inside of you. Resting her head on your thigh, she looked up at you, an arm thrown over your eyes as you panted. If you had looked at her then, you would have been overwhelmed by the obvious love in her eyes, as she patiently waited for you to calm down a little more. She pulled her fingers out of you, bringing them directly up to her tongue, cleaning them off with a moan.

You looked down at her then, your own gaze meeting hers as she pulled her fingers out of her mouth with a filthy sound. Alexia crawled up the bed, pulling you to lay against your chest, and you sighed into her, relishing in the comfort only she could bring you. Her hands rubbed your back softly, but her intent was clear as the moved lower to grab at your ass. You moved your head to look up at her, chin resting on her chest, and her lips curved into a grin looking down at you.

"Más?" she asked quietly, already knowing your answer. In response, you connected your lips to hers again, pushing yourself up to straddle her hips.

------

part 2? ive never really written fanfiction before... or smut... so I genuinely don't know if this is awful or not. if you want a part 2 of this let me know :). I was originally just gonna write it all at once but i'd rather know if people want to see more or not. Planning more smut for part 2, along with the reader discussing alexia's knee with her [what is a fic without hurt comfort]. let me know if you want to see anything specific :)

#alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #woso #woso x reader #woso imagine

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wingheadshellhead · 9 months

Text

i'm back on my "mcu steve was in the darkest timeline because he never experienced the canon event of tony stark giving him a home and a family" bullshit. post-ice steve was isolated, grieving, lonely, going through ptsd and survivor's guilt and he was constantly fixated on how he had no home or family or identity beyond cap. post-ice in the mcu, SHIELD stuck him in the costume and sent him back into the field, reinforcing the idea that he was nothing more than the empty shell of captain america.

"All my life I've tried to find a place for Steve Rogers—but still he lives under the more colorful shadow of Captain America… Perhaps it's Steve Rogers who's the legend—and Captain America who is the reality! Perhaps I was born to be a red-white-and-blue Avenger—and nothing more! But there must be more to life than endless combat! Others have found a home—a family—why can't I? Or, is Steve Rogers destined to walk alone forever—until the final battle—until he walks no more?"

— Tales of Suspense Vol. 1 #75 (1959)

"[...] But, even in the center of a crowd, I'm an outsider—a misfit! Only when I'm costumed as Captain America do I seem to come alive—to have a mission—a purpose! But, as Steve Rogers, I'm merely a name—a hollow shell—with no roots—no real life to call my own! Other men have friends—wives—loved ones!"

— Tales of Suspense Vol. 1 #92 (1959)

in the comics, the canon event of tony stark, the first person steve meets in the 21st century, giving him all of those things — a purpose, a home, somewhere to belong as himself and not just cap — changed his entire life.

"The first week after I came out of the ice… It was a dark time. I'd lost everything. My best friend. All my friends. All I had. I didn't know what I could hang on to. And then Tony Stark came in with this little… handheld cinema. Future technology. He showed me a newsreel. Right there, I saw a man walk on the moon. For all mankind. And in that moment, I felt hope again."

— S.W.O.R.D. Vol. 2 #6 (2021)

"Mr. Stark, when I woke up in this era, I had no one. Nothing. You gave me a purpose. Somewhere to belong… You gave me a home."

— Iron Man/Captain America: Casualties of War (2006)

meeting tony and the avengers, creating those friendships and connections, living at the avengers mansion with them, gives steve hope that he can still find happiness and belonging in the present day.

i always found it ironic that in the mcu steve projects this ideal of happiness and domestic life onto tony. this scene in ca:cw is a perfect example of that disconnect between the reality and what steve assumed on the surface was tony achieving what he never could — having a partner, his own family and kids. (the fact that cacw tony is 4 seconds away from a heart attack at all times and too busy running around firefighting PR crises just further drives home the irony.)

and then in a cruel twist of fate, mcu actually gives tony all of these things: home, family, wife and kid. we see steve witnessing tony having these things and knowing it's all possible, but just not for him and not in this era. (and ultimately, tony only gets to have these things for a brief period of time before having to give it all up.)

mcu steve never got to have the experiences that have shaped every other universe's steve rogers. the presence of tony stark, his friendship, his home, his love (whether platonic or romatnic), that formed the foundation of steve's purpose within the avengers, is intrinsic to steve finding hope and happiness in the modern day. the mcu changing such a crucial canon event rewrote not only the core of mcu steve's story but the trajectory of the cinematic universe. and in the end, the writers sent steve back to the past because they believed after 6 movies and 7 years, he had nothing left to live for in the present and i honestly can't think of anything more tragic.

#stevetony #superhusbands #stony #@

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inthe-dark-tonight · 9 months

Text

Whatever’s on Tonight

joel miller x fem!reader

part 2

summary: a weekend in the desert is anything but lonely with joel miller around

word count: 2.8k

warnings: 18+ (mdni), no outbreak AU, established relationship, no mention of age difference, fluff, unsafe p in v, creampie, swearing, dirty talk, alcohol consumption, hot tub sex with joel miller ;)

notes: came up with this idea while listening to the next best american record by lana del rey <3 i wrote this all last night and barely looked it over so sorry about any mistakes and thank you for reading!!

Whatever's on tonight // I just wanna party with you // Topanga's hot tonight // I'm takin' off my bathing suit // You made me feel like.., // There's somethin' that I never knew−I wanted

You and Joel decided to rent a bungalow outside of big bend national park for the weekend, somewhere you can both relax and disconnect. It was a last minute decision, you can’t even remember the last time the two of you got a chance to do something like this. You made sure to book a place that was a little more secluded so you could enjoy the peacefulness of the desert, and having a hot tub to relax was a necessity.

You both took a half day at work, packed up the truck then headed out. It was nearly a 7 hour drive, you spent the time talking and listened to music while looking at the scenery to pass the time. About half way through your trip you stopped at a little diner to have dinner, then got back on the road.

As you get closer to the bungalow the two of you are staying in, you begin to feel more excited about the little get away. As Joel drives down the winding desert road leading to the house, the sky is fading into a dark blue shade, dusk slowly taking over. You look over at Joel as he drives, the silhouette of his side profile made more prominent by the fading light behind him. A smile grows on your face as your eyes trail over his features.

“What?” He smirks and glances at you for a second before looking back to the road.

You shake your head. “Nothing,” you break into a smile. “Just excited that’s all.”

He takes one hand off the steering wheel to find yours on your lap and intertwines his fingers with yours, squeezing lightly. You sit in silence until he’s parked in front of the bungalow, only letting go of your hand to get out of the car.

“Here we are.” He gives you a content look as you both unbuckle your seatbelts and climb out of the car.

You stop for a second after closing the passenger door staring up at sky in awe, now filled with stars as the moon takes the suns place in the night sky. Joel comes up behind you, wrapping his large arms around your waist. You rest your arms on top of his and lay your head back onto his shoulder, eyes never leaving the sky.

“Beautiful” He whispers, leaving a soft kiss on your cheek.

“Mhm” You hum, unaware that he was talking about you.

“Let’s bring our stuff in.” His voice is soft, you turn your head to look up at him and his lips immediately meet yours in a gentle kiss.

You let out a sigh before he moves to unpack the truck, hands lingering on your hips for a short moment. You help him grab a few things before the two of you walk up to the house. Joel sets down his bag while he fiddles with the lock box that holds the key for a minute, and you can’t help but laugh.

Once he finally unlocks the door, you walk in and the space is beautiful, a small kitchen lined with floor to ceiling windows that leads into a cozy living room. You set down your bags to take a look around, the home is mid century style and it’s exactly what you hoped for when you booked it. You walk to the other side of the living room and find another wall filled with floor to ceiling windows, a small bathroom, and a door that leads to the bedroom.

Joel trails behind you as you enter the room, a large king size bed facing a sliding glass door that leads to the patio and hot tub, and a bathroom with a huge walk-in glass shower across from a vanity with a giant wall to wall mirror. You turn around and walk over to Joel, a thrilled smile on your face as you jump up and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Woah there.” He chuckles and wraps his arms around you, squeezing tight as he buries his face in your neck.

“Sorry, I’m excited.” Your voice is muffled as you nuzzle into him.

He pulls back from you, planting his hands on your hips and kissing the tip of your nose.

“How ‘bout I grab us some drinks and we go out back?” He’s resting his forehead against yours now.

“Only if you go in the hot tub with me.” You give him a playful look.

“Whatever you want, baby. We’re here to relax.” He squeezes your waist before turning around to head for the kitchen.

You grab your bag from the living room and dig around for your bathing suit and snag a shirt from Joel’s bag to slip over it. As you’re putting on your bathing suit, you hear music coming from the living room. You tie your bathing suit top as quickly as you can and throw on Joel’s shirt before walking towards the music.

You see Joel in the corner messing with an old radio, switching through the staticky channels until he stops on one that’s coming through mostly clear. You recognize the song that’s coming through the speakers, and he turns around setting his beer on the coffee table before walking over to you.

Anyone who’s ever had a heart

Wouldn’t turn around and break it

He grabs your hips pulling you into him, hands resting on the small of your back as he holds you close. You rest both your hands on his shoulders.

“Dance with me.” He whispers before starting to sway back and forth.

You move your hands up to wrap around his neck,and rest your head on his shoulder, listening to his heart beat as you sway back and forth with him. Your eyes close, getting lost in the moment just feeling his warm chest move under you with each breath. As you sway back and forth, you lift your head to look up at him and rest your hands on his chest. His nose gently brushes against yours as he stares at you with heavy lidded eyes.

Heavenly wine and roses

Seem to whisper to me when you smile

Joel spins you around causing you to let out a laugh before pulling you back in, his lips meeting with yours in a feverish kiss. One of his hands moves up to cup your cheek, pulling you closer as he lets out a content sigh.

Sweet Jane

Oh sweet, sweet Jane

He breaks the kiss still holding you close, eyes locked on yours as he continues to sway with you until the end of the song. He gently tucks a hair behind your ear before breaking the silence.

“Let me get changed and I’ll meet you outside.” He whispers to you, and you nod in agreement.

He plants one last gentle kiss on your lips before you walk to the bedroom and open the sliding door to the deck. When you step outside it’s a bit chilly, you quickly remove the cover from the hot tub and dip your hand into the warm water. When you look up towards the sliding glass door you see the silhouette of Joel’s broad frame in the dim light of the room as he walks towards the door. He’s holding two beers in his hand when he steps out, his eyes meet yours before closing the door.

You stand there with your hand in the water still as he sets the beers on the edge of the hot tub. He walks over to you and you turn around, leaning up against the hot tub facing him. Your eyes roam over his exposed chest and shoulders as he saunters towards you wearing a pair of dark blue swim trunks that hang dangerously low on his waist. He reaches out to grab the hem of the shirt you’re wearing, knuckles skimming the skin on your thighs as he slowly lifts it. You raise your arms allowing him to remove it before throwing it off to the side somewhere, leaving you in just your black bathing suit. His warm hands run up and down your sides caressing your soft skin as his eyes roam over your body.

“You’re heavenly.” He squeezes your hips, shaking his head in disbelief.

You rest your hands on his stomach right above the hem of his swim trunks, he sucks in a deep breath as you slowly move your hands up his soft stomach, over his chest and rest them on his solid shoulders. His hands move to squeeze your ass and you let out a small yelp causing Joel to chuckle.

“Very funny,” you roll your eyes giving him a playful smile as you grab his hand. “C’mon.”

You pull him along as you walk towards the steps to get in the hot tub. As you climb in, he rests his hand on your lower back. Once you're sitting he climbs in after you letting out a low groan as he sinks into the warm water. He grabs the beers from the ledge of the hot tub and hands you one, eyes staying locked on you as he takes a sip of his own. You’re sitting across from him, watching him as you sink further down into the water. He rests his arm over the edge of the hot tub holding his beer, and runs his other hand through his hair dampening it slightly.

“C’mere baby.” He sets his beer down and sits up straight.

You push yourself off the edge of your seat and swiftly lift yourself to straddle his lap, your drink forgotten on the other side of the hot tub. You settle in his lap, hands resting on the sides of his neck as he looks up at you. He trails his warm hands lightly up and down your back, causing goosebumps to form all over your damp skin.

“Joel…” you breathe out, rolling your hips into his.

“Goddamn.” He lets out a low moan.

You lightly pull at the hair on the back of his neck causing him to close his eyes for a moment, tongue sticking out to wet his lips. You can feel his hardening length start to grow beneath you, and when he opens his eyes again they’re immediately glued to your chest.

As his warm breath fans across your skin you move one of your hands to find the tie on the back of your bikini, pulling at the string once you find it. Your bathing suit top loosens and his eyes widen, darting up to yours. Then you move both your hands to the tie at your neck, pulling it loose and letting your top fall into the water before placing your hands on the ledge behind him. You can feel Joel’s fully hardened cock underneath you now as he takes in the sight of your bare chest.

“Fuck.” His hips lift and you press yourself into him.

“Like what you see?” You grind your hips into his again.

He looks up at you with wide eyes and a slack jaw as he nods in agreement. You grab his hands from your hips and lift them up to your tits, his eyes falling back to your chest. Your hands cover his as he lightly squeezes and kneads them while you continue to roll your hips into him.

“So pretty.” He hums.

You let out a small moan and his eyes turn dark as they snap up to yours. You remove your hands from his and slowly move yourself back, reaching into the water for his swim trunks. He sees what you’re doing and lifts his hips up as you pull them down, exposing his fully hardened cock.

He removes his hands from your breast to untie the strings on the bottoms of your bikini, pulling them out from under you and tossing them to the other side of the hot tub causing the water to slightly splash on you. You flinch and let out a small shout, leaning into Joel.

“Sorry” he says between laughs.

You wrap your arms around his solid form, laying your bare chest against his before meeting his lips with a passionate kiss. A long sigh leaves you lips as your body relaxes into him. His hard length is flush against your folds, tip nudging at your clit as you slowly thrust against him.

You’re breathing heavily as you break the kiss. “Need you.” It comes out quiet and soft.

“I’m all yours baby.” He grabs your face, placing his lips on yours again.

You slowly lift your hips until you feel his tip catch at your entrance, causing him to let out a low moan that vibrates through your chest. Joel slips his tongue past your lips deepening the kiss as you start to slowly sink down onto his cock. You remove your lips from his and let out another soft moan.

“Oh my god Joel, feels so good.” You mumble against his lips, nose nudging against his.

He’s speechless, both hands on your face as he looks up at you. You slowly move yourself up and down on his cock at a steady pace, just taking in the way he feels slowly stretching you. You tug at his hair causing his head to tilt up towards you more, and that sets something off in him.

He lets out a low growl before lifting you up off of him, spinning you around so your back is to him. Then he starts gently pushing you to the other side of the hot tub, his hands rest on your hips as you settle on your knees and your hands grip the ledge. Seconds later he’s thrusting his cock back into you, causing your body to jolt forward as you let out a gasp.

His pace starts out slow as he trails kisses down your bare back and shoulders. Then he starts to pick up his pace resting one of his hands over yours, the other on your hip as his broad frame leans over you. You turn your head to get a glimpse of him, and he leans forward, removing his hand from yours to grab your jaw as he kisses you.

“Take me so well baby.” He hums as his pace quickens.

Heat is building in your stomach, ready to snap at any second. His hand on your hip moves to wrap around you, holding you flush against him.

“I’m close.” It comes out barely audible.

The hand that’s holding your chin moves to rest on your shoulder as he lets out low grunts into the side of your neck, leaving hot kisses on your skin.

“Let me feel you, sweet thing.” He whispers into your ear, his deep voice making you shudder.

It’s enough to make the coil in your stomach finally snap, eyes fluttering shut as your walls clench around him. He lets out a groan as he fucks you through your orgasm, your name falling from his lips in low moans as his pace starts to faulter. He starts to pull out and you quickly grab his hand that’s resting on your shoulder, stopping him.

“Inside Joel,” You let out a breath. “Please.”

He slows down and plants both his hands on your hips, your words were enough to send him over the edge as he releases himself into you. A whimper leaves your mouth as you feel his warm load coat your walls. His forehead rests on your shoulder as he comes down from his high, breathing heavily while trying to catch his breath.

“Fuck, baby.” He leaves a soft kiss on your shoulder before pulling out of you with a low hiss.

After a moment Joel sits up and turns his body towards you, one hand resting on your inner thigh, the other draped along the edge of the hot tub. You sit up a little and your eyes meet his.

Both of his hands move to rest on on your cheeks, caressing your soft skin with his thumbs as you wrap your arms around his neck. He leans in to kiss you again, deep and slow as your lips move in sync. He breaks this kiss too soon leaning his forehead against yours, eyes closed and he takes in a deep breath. You keep your eyes closed, carding your fingers through his hair as you take in this moment.

Your chest swells, as you open your eyes you find him peering at you through heavy lidded eyes.

“Joel…”

“It’s true, all the roads lead to you. Everything I want and do.” He takes a deep breath.

Your hands rest on his broad shoulders as you brush your lips against his, taking in what he just confessed to you.

“I love you.” It’s barely audible, lower than a whisper.

Your lips fully meet with his and he grabs your legs to swing them over his lap, lips still attached to yours.

“I love you too.” He nuzzles his nose against your cheek.

You curl up closer to him, laying your head on his shoulder. His large hand runs up and down your back as you both sit there taking in the moment, listening to each other's breathing and the faint noises of the night.

tagging a few moots <3

@sscorpiiio @gracieheartsspedro @ilovepedro @pedrospartner @joelsversion @javiscigarette @jenispunk @beskarandblasters @tinygarbage @shatteredbaby @nostalxgic @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @isitmeulookin4

thanks for reading 🤍 and thank you @pr0ximamidnight for letting me ramble and send updates ily AND thank you for the summary 🫡

thinking about a part 2 also if anyone’s interested 👀 my asks box is open to chat!

#joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #soft!joel miller #joel miller #joel miller fic #couldn’t stop thinking about hot tub sex with joel

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