#to people i liked when i was 18

[gean-grey-blog]

What makes White Collar hold up so much better than other police procedurals:

It was part of the "pretty happy shows with gorgeous ensemble casts and a charismatic weird guy" USA network era but it somehow used that to be about stuff that is so REAL

What is justice? Is our system fair? Can you be a criminal and still be a good man? Can you be a good man and still work for the system?

The bad guys are rich assholes, and people defrauding families out of their homes, and unethical pharmaceutical companies. People manipulating energy supply out of greed resulting in blackouts which are showing *harming a dog,* aka how to show something is monstrous in a pg show written by a white person. Class exists in this universe in more ways than having a cardboard concept of a "rich guy."

The bad guys include police, FBI agents, prison staff, judges, senators. Those people cause real harm, obstruct justice, plant evidence, kill people. It's shown how the system protects them and harms regular people.

The harm that causes the main character to go from wanting to be part of the system, to subverting and working against it, is him finding out about an act of police corruption, brutality, and murder--and what's more, that if he became a cop, that's what he could become.

The harm that causes the main character to be outside the white picket fence is that the system failed his family after that act. What happened to Neal's mom? Why did nobody besides Helen step in? They had to check in with US Marshals, did nobody notice this kid didn't have an adult fit to parent?

So Neal turns to found family. And let's be real, heavily polyamory coded found family at that. But he keeps chasing the idea of a girl who will be everything. But he's got all this attachment trauma so he never does. But because found family is real family, even the people who freaking played the characters are still connected a decade later

#white collar tv show #white collar #neal caffrey #white collar usa #white collar (2009) #white collar meta #also like #not to mention the cast was relatively diverse #there was actual queer representation #and i see so many people coming back to it for comfort who loved it originally #it was fun exciting pretty crime show when I was 18 #32 year old polyam person taking care of and being taken care of by found family #living in 2024 #after living through 201620202023 that slide of years #it hits #uh #different

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk. #I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive'' #but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this'' #''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?'' #And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

[annabelle--cane]

a lot of my first thoughts about martin's characterization back when I first listened were about how he experienced the process of transition into adulthood in a weird out of joint manner, and I want to try and bring that back into the way I think about him. if he dropped out of school at 17 to become his family's breadwinner, then it stands to reason that he'd probably been filling a lot of the "head of household" roles since his early teens, but always in service to and under the direction of a parent that hated him. assuming that he got his institute job within, say, a year of dropping out, and he had to move to london on his own, being able to do all that as a teenager and not just implode (especially with no emotional support) is a significant feat, but it was all based on lies. all of his coworkers would have thought he was 4-6 years older than he was, and he could manage it, but only by making them think he was an incompetent young adult instead of an actually very capable teen. he went straight from being a kid with no time for being a kid to being an adult who was never taught how to be an adult. I think that does something to a person's ability to evaluate their own skills and importance.

#tma #marina marvels at life #I know some people don't really like ajn's take that for the first few seasons he's emotionally an 18 y/o and I get why #but it does kinda make sense. that's the age where he would have had to start lying about nearly every aspect of his life. #hard to have healthy social development when you can't even tell your peers your real birthday

[cerise-on-top]

Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

#cod #cod x reader #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #he actually kind of scares me these days even if I don't want that to happen in the slightest so I'm trying to desensitize myself again #I know people always joke about fanon könig vs canon könig but I think I will write him a bit softer with his s/o again #just to combat all those awful things I've seen about him that I don't want to be true and that I also want to forget about #könig is a big lad so I knew from the beginning I wanted him to be good at hugging because this is self indulgent #I feel like if it weren't for his anxiety he'd be much much cuddlier #because that's the case with me even if I have other things going on as well #and what is a funny character you write about if not another piece of yourself? #I've put so much of myself into some of these characters and yet people keep requesting them so I must be doing something right #it's more fun that way as well when you put your characters through something you've gone through. more relatable too #but I think that's something pretty much every writer does. that's why some requests are so difficult to write #I got one about marrying Laswell and Nikolai and that was a difficult request for me because the last wedding I went to #was my parents' and that was almost 18 years ago. man time flies I was 4 years old back then #so naturally I don't remember much either. But I tried and that's what's important! #either way please enjoy this piece of fluff I wrote today!

[caseythebunnyboy]

kinda specific thing im in to but i want to have sex with a nerdy passionate person so bad 😵‍💫 while they talk about their favorite game i just keep saying "uh huh" as i reach to unzip their pants, because i got so needy once i saw how their face lit up while they were talking about their game 💜 id start riding them in their gaming chair because they just looked so happy while telling me about a cool character they got a few minutes ago, how could i not instantly mount their lap? maybe id put on their favorite show just to watch them explain every little detail from memory, and then give them a blowjob immediately after while its playing in the background 😊 (he/him, im a guy)

#casey ★ mumbling #nerdy people dm me and ill send u photos of my ussy challenge #geeky people (extremely affectionate and extremely horny) #maybe the reason i like nerdy people is because i AM the nerdy people #(still watches cartoons when hes 18)(likes mha)(likes aot)(likes jojo)(favorite animal is a shark)(named myself after a cartoon character) #theres so much more nerdy shit i do but if i say it all i wont be able to fit my general tags so anyway #gay nsft #gay ns/fw #ftm nsft #ftm ns/fw #mlm nsft #mlm ns/fw #queer nsft #queer ns/fw #trans nsft #trans ns/fw #mlm ftm #ftm mlm #gay ftm #ftm sub #ftm bottom #trans sub #trans bottom #t4t nsft #t4t ns/fw #ftm t4t

[worstloki]

Mu Qing ascending is objectively so funny considering Feng Xin and Xie Lian also do. Out of the people in your kingdom who accomplished immortality there’s this guy who used to be your servant but is now on equal rank to you and he‘s super rude now and also thinks you hate him because he remembers when you were 18 and lacked socioeconomic-interpersonal awareness

#he doesn’t even hold the ignorance against you. you hold it against him though #list of people who ascended from Xianle: the crown prince and his noble bodyguard. also the prince’s attendent who came from poverty #like mu qing only got to cultivate because of a very specific set of circumstances but like he did it very successfully #it’s hilarious #by all rights he worked harder than them both but he sure got there #also you see him as super rude and mean now while the people of his region keep insisting he’s kind gentle and refined etc. #Feng Xin looks at Mu Qing as if they were in the same boat and Xie Lian looks at Mu Qing like they were in the same boat #and Mu Qing is there doing their chores on top of studying and training and caring for his mother looking at their idealistic nonsense #with many question marks #Xie Lian and Feng Xin: our past friend Mu Qing #Mu Qing: ah yes. my employer. who I would like to befriend but unfortunately I have dignity. #tgcf #like sorry not everyone has the awareness or priorities or ideas another who grew up poor might smh #also he has like a ridiculously impeccable memory so like. yea he DOES remember when you were 18. in vivid detail. #he used to prepare your clothes so has your whole cultural fashion line embedded into his head forever. including the jewelry #imagine being 800 years old and the guy that used to steam your clothes every morning and fold them every night lives next door #isn't that so embarrassing #that guy remembers EVERYTHING too #you don't remember that stuff but HE DOES?????

[yardsards]

how to explain to your parents that you can't move back in with them because every time you're near them a big part of you buries itself and you're not sure how long that part can stay buried before its hidey hole becomes its grave?

...without offending them, of course

#eliot posts #last time i was forced to move back in w them was when the dorms closed for quarantine #and a part of me DID die then #and i think in those first 18 years i spent living with them so many parts of me died before they even had the chance to be born #they keep framing it as a generous offer. i won't have to pay rent AND they'll get me set up working oart time for my dad's friend #AND they'll replace my car with a newer one #but i do NOT fucking trust it #they act nice while i'm not living with them and am able to freely escape #but that niceness goes away once i have nowhere to go #like that's exactly what happened when i was forced back to them during quarantine #and how hard they're pushing this seems realllly sketchy #i told my mother i'd think about it (to get her off my back) and she said ''don't waste time thinking. just agree to it.'' #like hellll no. i do NOT trust like that. #even my sister was trying to talk me into it which i don't get because she of all people should understand. #but anyway. i'm applying for jobs and looking at extending my lease. i am NOT going back there. #i just wish i could tell them that without getting yelled at and guilt tripped and talked to like i'm a stupid little baby.

[sonknuxadow]

theres absolutely nothing wrong with being an adult who enjoys childrens media i would be the biggest hypocrite in the world if i said that there was. but i think some adult sonic fans need to be humbled. please look at the age ratings on anything sonic related. go to the kids clothing sections at target and see all the sonic stuff. if you have little cousins or nieces and nephews ask them what they think about sonic. please. because the way you think the sonic fandom is for adults only and get mad when you run into minors there is so embarrassing. the way you get mad over certain sonic media being too childish even though kids are the target audience is so embarrassing

#im sure this doesnt only apply to sonic but i see adult sonic fans act like this a lot #you cant get into a kids franchise and then get mad when its for kids. hello #you cant have a public account completely dedicated to a kids franchise and put your posts in public tags #and then say youre in an adult space and get mad when some random 15 year old likes your post. come on now. #thats like the online equivalent of going into a middle school and putting up a sign that says 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI #and then getting mad when minors can still see you #also the way some sonic fans make fun of people for liking other childrens media because its cringe #as if theyre not doing the exact same thing by liking sonic

[dyketubbo]

i remember seeing someone call tubbo a fully grown adult at 19 (obvs before he turned 20) and i gotta say. i think maybe some people have a really skewed idea of what constitutes as "fully grown". and also what constitutes as properly mature. thinking that at 18/19 (or hell even at 20/21) people are now fully grown and mature is insane to me like yall thats how you get people thinking their life is over at like 23 and that 30 year olds are senior citizens 😭😭 be fr

#this is a problem no matter where you look but i think a lot of ppl in the mcyt fandom esp seem to think once youre- #-considered an adult at all that it automatically means youre fully grown and mature and thats just nooottt really true for most ppl #which i think can lead people down to sort of dangerous paths especially because 'adult' is often defined by age of consent #and theres also some slight cultural differences like even just between the us and the uk where due to 18yr olds being able to drink in- #-the uk (and other places) i think it genuinely causes some dissonance #where i see often in the us that when youre 18/19 youre still treated (id say rightfully) as being rather young and not Truly a grown adult #hence. yk. the term Young Adult #but i think in places where the drinking age is younger it starts causing people to see younger people as more mature #which is also why a lot of predators like to push for the age of consent to be at a younger age like 15 or 16 #and why many lolicons try to point at japans age of consent (which for the record is complicated and not as simple as just 'age of consent- #-is 13') as a defense for how they act #because these sorts of milestones (having sex and drinking) are seen as marks of a true adult. which gets into a whole lot of other #complicated things #and often dangerous things and ways of thinking #ANYWAYS . basically 18/19 isnt fully grown 20 is also hardly fully grown itself #and theres ways to combat people infantilizing tubbo and other creators his age without acting like hes actually #fully grown and mature lol. i promise you humans are not fully grown at 20 years old are you kidding me 😭😭😭😭 #if youre in your 20s you still have a lot of time and space to grow i promise. do not fall for the idea that your life is done by like 23 #idk. im only 18 myself but it just feels insane to me that if i were a creator people would be calling me a fully grown adult #not that im not an adult but i dont think im mature enough to be seen as fully grown and i guess itssss. sad? #to see other people my age think that turning 18 means youre fully grown. just really not true #theres a lot of 30 year olds who still see early 20yr olds as being practically babies we have Not made it to full maturity yet i prommy #mask mews

[moe-broey]

I think they're really cute as a platonic possibly even found family pairing, but. A Reminder

#fire emblem #feh #like i'm not starting discourse but like. i feel like people forget sharena's age a lot of the time. #w alfonse it's easy to see him as an adult and feel weird about pairing him w vero #but bc of sharena's playful cheerful personality like. it's easier to overlook her or even think she's younger than she is #also i may have been getting the sanaki line source wrong all this time. sorry for spreading misinfo for god knows how long 😭 #but the wiki says it's her resplendent that has the line about veronica. not her bridal #either way i think she's referring to young veronica. placing her around 13. #at the oldest #new vero kinda reads as 15 to me but. surely it hasn't only been two years LMFAOOO #but even if she was 18 i feel like i'd run into the same issue i have w thrasir and lif. he knew her when she was 13. #literally nothing is going to change that fact for me. i get super icked out by it LMFAOO #also it's not unprecedented to have platonic/familial bridal alt duos! we have eliwood/roy #and i can't remember if the pegasus sisters are literally sisters or like. same trope. they are all blue. #either way. i'm not done being annoying about it yet!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 #fe veronica #sharena #like to be more specific on lif again he (as alfonse) was already an adult when he met veronica (13ish) #just. to clarify. #and like. who gives a shit. i know. but this is how i feel. my personal opinion.

[garnet-xx-rose]

Idk if it’s because of how I’ve curated my feed but I rarely see people shitting on Christine. Any E/C space I’m in is mostly about centering Christine and her satisfaction.

That said, I feel the constant need to warn people that “If you like Erik and Christine as a couple, remember not to have that kind of relationship IRL” is kind of annoying. I get the intention, but people, including young people, aren’t stupid and don’t need constant reminders to not be inspired by their toxic faves.

Like yes girl, I know the Phantom is not a real man. I wish a wealthy, nerdy, musically talented, intelligent old man that lived underground and wanted to help me with my music career was real. But he’s not, so I’m gonna indulge in fiction.

Bless the rest of y’all that get involve in the discourse though. Honestly, could not be me.

#christine daae #phantom of the opera #erik/christine #like do you know how ridiculous it was to be 18 and hearing ppl be like ‘oh you’ll know why Entrapdaks bad when you’re older’ #babes its been almost 6 years and they’re still one of the strongest relationships out of the show #i wonder if its more tied to r/c and e/c discourse which 🤷‍♀️ #jokes on them I like when all three of them get together #But yeah I rarely come across thosse ‘Christine was wrong for not picking Erik’ posts unless it was like teenagers on TikTok #Which I don’t take seriously at all #as a former teen on the internet #because most of the time you grow out of it #anyway anytime I got reprimanded for shipping something as a kid it just made me want to indulge in it more #and it made me feel like I was being treated like a toddler #by older people who’d be so up in arms about this one ship while defending another that was equally if not more problematic #my hot take is that in most cases ships aren’t really problematic #its more based on your personal tastes and experiences shaping your view of relationships in media

[lovelyamneris]

I know the fandom is mostly adults so I hope we can all try to be mindful that these characters are children&minors in a show made for kids thanks.

#whatever I just felt like I should say something #also idc that the actors were older than 18 when filming that doesn’t change the fact they’re portraying kids as young as 14 #and #just because you tag something or put warnings at the top of something doesn’t mean that kids aren’t going to see it #when I was little I used to read fucked up shit that was in fandom spaces and it was honestly traumatizing #and whatever do whatever you want on ao3 or for movies made for adults #but this is a kids show made for kids and honestly who knows how many minors are in the tumblr hoa space #obviously I can’t stop people from writing whatever they want #this is just my opinion #and my opinion is that this is kids media and you should try to make the fandom space safe for kids #house of anubis

[cas-poisoning]

The fact that people have parents that weren’t born in the late 60s (or early 70s) is so odd to me like that is THE parent age. Like wdym your parents were born in the 1980s and ur my age?? That’s actually insane wtf. Parents were not meant to be in high school in the 2000s…

#my parents were born in 1966-1967 #for reference I was born in 2004 #and come from a more middle class/upper middle class background #so most people my age had parents were in firmly in their 30s when they were born #so the fact that is actually very common for people to have parents who were like 18-24 when they were born is actually mind blowing #I saw a tiktok of a girl wearing her mom’s prom dress from like 2001… PROM?? IN 2001??? WHAT #parents were meant to be in high school in the 80s sorry

[working-dreamer]

It’s wild how shipping culture has changed so drastically over time on the internet.

In the old days people shipped characters who either had only one line of dialogue with each other, never even met, or not even from the same piece of media. It was the wild west and sure some ships were uncomfortable but people had the mindset to just block the tag and stay away from ships they didn’t enjoy.

Nowadays? It’s more like people have to clarify that their ship isn’t canon compliant, character adjacent, and story irrelevant otherwise they get a flood of comments saying “but this character isn’t like this in canon” and some people legitimately get angry if you’re not following the canon.

Like- shipping and fandom culture from what I understand it is about engaging with media in a way that caters to you. And if you don’t like a ship or show just… block the relevant tags and don’t engage in the ships? The internet isn’t supposed to cater to us- we have to cater ourselves to our internet environment. And no matter how many times people may harass others over a fandom or ship they don’t like, those ships are not gonna disappear.

The internet has just been getting worse when people have decided to place morality in their opinions by saying things like “if you enjoy the ship then you support (insert horrible thing here that’s usually completely unrelated to the ship itself)” when it used to be “eh, not my thing” and people just moved on.

And for the record this isn’t about a specific ship or anything- just an observation of how fandom has evolved (and regressed) over the years and I find it fascinating from a sociological perspective cause we still don’t know how having the internet from birth affects the development of kids and how that affects how they interact with others- isn’t that scary?

I know that’s slightly unrelated but the way people engage in media has been changing over they years and that also involves fandom and the maturity level thereof in the internet space and someone smarter than me could probably write a whole thesis paper about fandom culture and how the internet has hindered the social development of people and how that affects community specifically from a fandom lens.

Just- for your sanity younger internet children: it’s not worth harassing others over something as trivial as ‘it’s not canon that this character kisses another character.’ Just find ships you like. Block ships you don’t. And just enjoy your time doing what you like!

You can’t control the internet but you can nurture your little corner of it.

#shipping #canon ship #non canon ships #reader x character #self ship #I get so tired of seeing shipping posts and the comments or reply tweets are nothing but ‘but this isn’t canon tho!!!’ #sonny when I was your age we shipped characters who never even met in canon! #even with ships I don’t like- I get exhausted seeing people get bombarded by fourteen year olds who haven’t developed critical thinking yet #every day I agree more that people under 18 shouldn’t have access to the internet #this can also apply to people who act like ‘if you dont reblog or boost this post (insert social issue here) then you’re a bad person!!’ #like… no #you don’t have to apply moriality to a stinkin’ reblog button! #sure informing people is important but you don’t have to take the responsibility of the world’s issues #we’re all doing the best we can and you don’t have to prove your morality to be a good person #it’s okay to not engage with those kinds of posts if it makes you uncomfortable- that doesn’t affect your morality in any way #For example: ​I’m never gonna reblog gory posts showing battle zones #does that mean I support war? absolutely not! #I’m just protecting my mental health! and you need to as well #the internet is yours to make it how you want and if you want it to be an escape from the horrors of the world that’s okay #protect your happiness fam

[hey-haven]

Hot take, not a serious one but still. I see Vil as more like a stubborn yet caring older sibling to Epel than any kind of parental figure. Idk how to describe it other than Lilo and Nani. Like similar dynamic, different fonts. Some sense of caregiving is there but ultimately it’s more like a sibling dynamic.

#idk I think it’s weird how people treat Vil like an adult #I mean like ADULT adult when he’s still only 18 and in high school #idk this isn’t a serious post so I won’t go into it #haven rambles #twisted wonderland #twst #epel felmier #vil schoenheit

[carefulfears]

And my girl Scully figured out that Diana and Phoebe were abusive to him and that’s why she was ready to disintegrate them with whenever they breathed Mulder’s air iktr. (Also to me that’s part of the reason Mulder was oblivious and defended them, people who are in abusive relationships are not always aware of it)

YUPP you’re literally dead right, anon, in my opinion. it really bugs me when people talk shit about mulder for “trusting” both phoebe and diana, as though that’s not like…the only thing he’s been taught to do.

i’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between scully’s reactions to phoebe vs. diana. when phoebe showed up, scully had only known mulder for a few weeks. and still she knew almost instantly that something wasn’t right.

i didn’t notice until i rewatched fire the way that she never leaves him alone with her. if mulder and phoebe are working on something, you can see scully. against the wall, peeking around the door, pacing in the hallway. he tells her that she’s “off the hook,” that he’s not going to “put her through this” with “phoebe’s little mind games,” and she takes it upon herself to investigate phoebe’s case herself, until she solves it and phoebe can go the fuck home.

girlbosses catch serial murderers singlehandedly to get their best friend’s shitty ex away from them.

when phoebe was around, scully is passive aggressive as hell. constantly hanging around and making little quips and mocking her accent.

when diana shows up? five years later? she’s just aggressive.

she said nah, we aren’t doing this again 😭😭

(one of my favorite scully moments is when she snaps “and not just because i think that woman is a….well, you know what i think that woman is” and mulder is just like “no you hide your feelings sooo well” lmfao)

i really do think meeting phoebe so early in their partnership informs a lot about the way scully reacts to his exposure and relationship to other people throughout the series. she really doesn’t trust a soul around him.

i always think of this line from madness by kittenscully (a post-syzygy fic, addressing the detective white incident):

“A surge of righteous indignation at the notion makes her sit up straighter, and she bites her tongue to avoid a very unpleasant comment from slipping out. As always, she thinks of Phoebe, of his wide, trusting eyes.”

diana was scary levels of manipulative and violating. but diana loved mulder, scully knew that and used that to plead with her in the end.

phoebe didn’t care about anything but playing with fire. she got off on scaring him, crossed state lines just to fuck with his head and hurt him, just like in their relationship a decade earlier. mulder knew this, he knew from the start what she was doing and what she wanted, and he helped her anyway. he praised her anyway. he connected with her and invested in her anyway.

y’all know i’m always thinking about the script note about phoebe’s coldness “eliciting some old need in him to have her affection.”

by the time diana came back around, scully had sat on the floor of a hotel and watched phoebe smile and shake hands with bureaucrats while mulder couldn’t breathe.

scully had stood in the next room when his questions to his mother got him little more than a slap to the face.

it’s different with diana because there’s a lot more history and connection there, and because at that point there is heartbreak and jealousy on scully’s side (when phoebe was in town, she hung around in doorways. when diana reaches for mulder’s hand, she turns around and holds back tears in the car.)

it’s a difficult position for both of them. he doesn’t know how to do anything but appease and trust and be loyal, to help whoever asks. he doesn’t care if it hurts him, he’s been groomed his whole life for that, to feel like he deserves it.

it makes scully crazy. he’s her best friend. she can’t believe anyone would look at that kind of softhearted hope and want to exploit it or crush it, rather than look up to it, follow it, nurture it.

and it hurts!! it hurts to watch him fall back into these traps, and especially with diana, it hurts to feel that your input and relationship doesn’t matter enough to have influence. to not be listened to, to feel like you’re not being chosen.

she doesn’t know that he went to search diana’s apartment after she told him not to trust her. she just heard, “i know her. you don’t. scully, you’re reaching.” and watched him leave.

it’s just this perfect crossroads of each of their most vulnerable spots. scully wants to protect him, always, and she also wants to be chosen.

mulder has to stand by his allegiances, to seek ‘affection’ in cruelty, to play his role in the larger scheme. this is what CSM knew when he recruited diana into the conspiracy, and he knows because he “created” it.

you can’t judge either of them, they’re both following their natures, and furthering the narrative they were chosen for.

(until scully stands in front of diana and begs, “i just want you to think…stand there in front of me, look me in the eye”…and breaks the whole thing down.)

#TLDR children weaned on poison etc etc #LOVE WON IN THE END!! always. scully’s ferocious devotion won in the end #asks #scully baby i hope you got your bubble baths that year #it’s hard. because he Does listen to her and internalize her input #but he also Needs to not lose these last connections and these last people who ‘cared’ about him and to please them and to be what they want #i mean he was like 18 when he met phoebe. ‘she was brilliant. i got in over my head.’ #he and diana were together (married) (to Me) for like 5 years #during one of the most vulnerable periods of his life. and his transition into discovering the files and doing therapy and leaving the VCU #Sigh #i know scully would zip him safely in her pocket if she could but like she also feels so insecure and disregarded when diana is around #so it’s like both her Constant protectiveness and her own intimate emotional response. it’s just a lot. #i love season 6 #‘bum a cigarette agent fowley?’ #👌👌👌 #Diana