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xscarletwitchsprincess · 8 months

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☆ « 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 » ☆

♡ ~ dom!micheal afton x sub!gn!afab!reader ~ ♡

♪ smut request: micheal surprises reader on their birthday!

♪ a/n: i absolutely love this request anon! i hope you enjoy this smutty fic <3. i hope i did a good job with your vague request :]. it does have a wholesome fluff around the end that is very romantic <3. this fic is based in modern times :D! also, very sorry if my writing's bad or seems rushed, it wasn't, that's just how my writing looks to me (the end was rushed though). i'm also sorry that there's so many warnings, i just don't want to trigger anyone😭.

♪ songs that vibe with the fic: "Clair de Lune, L. 32" by Claude Debussy or "It's Been a Long, Long Time" by Kitty Kallen for the romantic part (Kitty Kallen is for the 40s-60s type love <3). "The Hills" by The Weeknd or "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails for the smut part (such good music that match the vibes😩💙).

♪ warnings (non sexual): mdni, 18+, modern!au, reader's and Micheal's age is mentioned, reader's height isn't mentioned but they are shorter than Micheal, honestly this doesn't have a major plot LMFAO, vulgar language (obviously), established relationship, reader uses they/them pronouns but has an afab body, reader wears feminine clothing and uses binder, one mention of bullying, beginning explains backstory, a few mentions of the reader being pretty/beautiful, Micheal calls reader petnames (baby, darling, love, etc), no use of y/n or anything like that, angst at the end, probably not proofread fully - there might be spelling/grammar mistakes :(

♪ warnings (sexual): piv, switches between soft!dom!Micheal and hard!dom!Micheal, creampie, no condom but reader is on birth control (please use protection irl, it's hard to have a baby), dom/sub dynamic, daddy kink, bondage, oral sex (reader receiving), praise kink, degrading kink (only used for "good [insert pronouns]" praises), possessive!micheal, marking kink(??), a little edging, choking, slight breeding kink if ya squint, aftercare <3.

♪ fic starts under cut ♪

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You and Micheal have been together for awhile now, almost three years, since you two met in college. You and Micheal started out as friends, instantly having a connection. The connection was mostly because he was sweet and charming to you, his actions towards you were much different than other students at the college. You were bullied quite a bit, not as bad as your highschool bullies though, but Micheal helped you gain confidence and stand up for yourself. You both caught feelings fast, afraid to tell each other, until one fateful night. You kissed Micheal, telling him your feelings, to find out that the feelings were mutual. Soon after, you two started dating.

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Today was your 21st birthday, meaning that you were finally ready to drink alcohol. Micheal was only a year older than you, he sometimes had beer when he came over to your apartment. Those days he would let you take a sip then softly laugh at how your face would scrunch up in disgust from the taste and the burn in your throat from the beer.

The date you were on started out as one of the best dates you and Michael had, it was beautiful tonight. The sky was filled with stars, the moon was clear in the sky, there were no clouds in sight, it was absolutely beautiful and utterly peaceful. The weather was amazing as you sat outside the restaurant, the one you and Micheal were at right now. The outside table you were at, was a perfect spot to see the distant mountains that were scattered around the small town of Hurricane, Utah. The cool air had a nice breeze, making the temperature much better than it was earlier that day.

You and Micheal had already ordered your food, two medium-rare steaks, mashed potatoes, and a small salad for you. The food smelled and looked amazing.

♪ a/n: i'm sorry if your vegan/vegetarian, you could pick your own choice of food <3! now, let the sinful actions commence :D!

Micheal had been hiding the tent in his pants he saw you in that little dress you wore for the date, that was an hour ago. He couldn't help it, the dress hugged your body perfectly. The dressed hugged you so well, the hem of the dress reaching the top of your thighs, it was a short black turtleneck dress with short-sleeves. He could see the subtle outline of your binder through the dress, your tits practically gone. Micheal wanted to fucking devour you while at the restaurant and on the way to the restaurant.

He observed you as you ate your food, making sure to eat his own food occasionally to make sure he wasn't caught staring. Honestly, you were oblivious about his hunger for you, you were too focused on how pretty everything was around you, plus, you were also focused on how amazing the food was.

When you finished your food, you wiped your mouth before looking at Micheal with a smile. He smiled back, grabbing your hand and kisses your palm. You blush slightly from the affectionate kiss to your palm, making Micheal's pants feel tighter. He called over the waiter and paid for the meal, leading you out of the restaurant with graceful strides. Although his strides were graceful, he seemed to be in a rush to get you home..

You two went into his car, his hands immediately buckling you in with a kiss to your cheek before driving off after he buckled himself too.

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Almost as soon as you and Micheal entered your apartment, Micheal was already kissing your lips with a gentle but passionate pace. His hands were on your waist as he kissed you, his grip a bit tight as the hunger he felt for you slowly overwhelmed his body and actions.

"i have a surprise for you, my dear." He mumbled against the kiss, pulling away to breathe. You looked so pretty like this to him, face flushed pink, your eyes hazy with lust, your breathing heavy, and your lips puffy because of only him. He could feel pride and possessiveness course through his blood from the sight of the effect he had on you. He quickly grabbed your hand and led you to the bedroom, gently pushing you onto the bed.

Micheal slowly bent down over your figure, his lips immediately latching onto yours, this time his kiss filled with lust and hunger. One of his hands slowly slid up from your thigh, across your stomach, to one of your tits that was covered by the binder you were wearing. He could feel your hard nipples through the binder and dress, making him let out a soft chuckle before he pulled away from the kiss to stare into your eyes.

"do you want this, darlin'?" His voice was husky with lust as he asked permission, a small smirk on his face when you nodded. "speak up, dear." He commanded, the smirk on his face getting bigger as he watched your body shiver in anticipation.

"please, touch me." You whisped in a breathless voice, the tone in your voice soft as your panties got slick with arousal. Micheal groaned softly at your words, his pants now tighter as he thought about how he could touch you.

But, wouldn't it be more fun to tease you? To see you beg for only him? You'd look so fucking pretty writhing in pleasure underneath him, you'd know who you belonged to.

Micheal was a bit conflicted, after all.. it is your birthday. He finally decided his next move, the smirk on his face completely gone as he stared at your smaller form with pure hunger. He slowly leaned down and kissed your neck, his hand that was on your chest cupping your throat in a gentle choking manner. Micheal didn't add preasure to your neck, he just rested it there as he kissed up and down your neck, leaving small hickeys. His other hand, that wasn't on your neck, trailed down to the top your thigh.. just below the hem of your dress. The action made you let out a soft, desperate whine from his subtle teasing.

He chuckled softly at your reaction, a faux sympathetic expression on his handsome but sharp face before pulling away from your neck and looking at you face-to-face. His hot breath fanned your lips as your eyes stared into his, the air getting thicker with lust as you two stared at each other. He studied your features with "concern" in his eyes, his brows scrunched together.

"is something the matter, dear?" He asked in a soft whisper, his deep and husky voice laced with faux sympathy. He almost sound like he was mocking you, the sound of his voice making your body tempature rise with lust and anticipation. You were excited about what he might do to you, you would probably let him do anything he wanted to you and enjoy it. He took note of the small shiver your body did, his ego growing bigger along with the possessive feelings that he had in this moment. He leaned down by your ear, his hot breath now fanning the shell of your ear.

"baby, you need to tell what you want or i can't help you." His voice was low as he spoke, the slight British accent mixing in with a Southern accent that he developed from living in Utah with his family, the British accent from when he talked with his father. The mixed accent made you let out a soft gasp, along with how Micheal's hand finally cupped your lace white panties under your dress.

"please.. need you, Micheal-!" You cried out in desperation, feeling his thumb, from the hand that was cupping your panty-covered cunt, gently rub your clit through the panties. He tutted disapprovingly at how you called him by his name, making him pull back his hand for a brief moment. You hadnt heard his disapproving sound when he made it, you were too focused on how badly you needed him in that moment.

"Micheal, please —" You started begging, getting cut off as a cry escaped your lips from the gentle but firm smack, on your panty-covered pussy, that Micheal gave you.

"that's not my name, darlin', and you know it." Micheal said lowly, his voice deep and animalistic, the sound of his voice almost like a deep animalistic growl. You gasped softly, not answering him, as his thumb rubbed your clit again, this time in a rough manner. Micheal's hand on your throat tightened a little, a gentle but firm preasure now on your throat. The pressure wasn't too hard, just enough to make you feel a little lightheaded and your mind hazy.

But, you not answering Micheal didn't please him at all, his hand on your cunt now giving your cunt another slap, this time was much harder. You cried out again, choking out a sob from the pleasureful pain of your, now sticky panties, rubbing against your clit, along with the overstimulating feeling your clit was receiving between the slaps and stickiness of your panties.

"no — 'm sorry, daddy!" You cried out with a soft sob, hot tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to fall, from the feeling of your overstimulated clit and the sweet sting the forceful slaps left on your throbbing pussy. Micheal left out a soft hum of approval, his hand on your throat loosening and the hand on your cunt gently rubbing your clit through the thin, stick panties you still had on. He leaned up to your face as he continued his motions on your cunt, moving his hand to gently grip your chin as he pecked you lips. He pulled away and went back to your cunt, your panties to his eye-level now.

Micheal slid his hand down from your chin, down your tummy, before having both hands grip the edge of your panties from under the dress you were wearing. He looked up at you, his eyes silently asking you for permission. You gave him a soft nod, a soft, reassuring smile on his face before he lowered his body as he got on his knees on the floor. He slid his hands from under your dress, to your waist, and pulled you closer to the edge, his face now in front of your panty-covered cunt. His face was serious again, the hunger that he had for you evident. He gently out your legs on his shoulders, spreading you open so he could see your cunt clearly.

The action made your face flush pink in embarrassment and excitement, anticipation filled your mind as filthy thoughts raced around in your mind. You didn't even notice that Micheal had already pulled your panties off you and bunched your dress up to your waist, you were too focused on pushing away the thoughts that were racing in your mind. Your attention didn't go back to the present until your thoughts got cut off by Micheal giving your bare cunt a soft lick, making you cry out in surprise. Your legs shook a bit as pleasure filled your body, the familiar feeling of your tummy getting hot with anticipation, the familiar knot of pleasure forming in your tummy already. Micheal let out a soft hum from your reaction, your head falling back onto the bedsheets as the vibrations of his hum filled your body with pleasure.

Micheal slowly licked up and down your lips, teasing you. Soft whimpers escaped your lips from the almost overwhelming pleasure of Micheal's teasing, making you bite your lip to keep the noises that bubbled up in your throat slip out. Micheal noticed this and pulled back, making you lift up your head and look at him with a confused expression.

"let me hear those noises, dear. i want to hear you, 'kay? you don't want to be punished d'ya?" His voice was low and animalistic as he spoke, his eyes dark with lust and a hint of anger. You nodded quickly, causing a warning slap on your ass. You gasped from the feeling of the slap, the gasp immediately forming into a soft whimper from the comforting sting the slap left.

"yes daddy." You whispered, earning a soft hum from Micheal before he leaned down again and kissed along the top of your thighs, leaving hickeys and bite marks that were seen scattered around your thighs. As he finally reached your pussy again, he kissed your clit, making a soft whimper escaping your lips from the feeling. He chuckled softly before licking your cunt again, this time slowly picking up his pace as he kept licking.

Once Micheal had found a pace he liked, he licked and sucked your pussy like a man who hadn't ate a proper meal in days. The feeling made you moan his name repeatedly, the knot in your tummy getting tighter as he continued his pace. Micheal could feel your cunt tighten on nothing as he continued eating you out, soft hums occasionally leaving his now puffy lips. Your arousal had dripped onto your thighs, Micheal's face, and the bedsheets - the bedsheets now having a small puddle of your arousal on the edge, where you were laying down. Your hands flew down to Micheal and gripped his shaggy brown hair as he slipped his tongue in your tight hole, a soft cry leaving your lips as your back arched off the bed just a tad.

You could feel the knot in your tummy tighten, your cunt tightening around Micheal's tongue as he thrusted his tongue into your mercilessly. You moaned loudly as Micheal teased your hole with a finger, his tongue still thrusting into you in a rough pace.

Your orgasm was approaching quickly and Micheal knew it, so he decided to pull away completely to tease you, his head now just a few inches away from your cunt as he breathed heavily. The action made you let out a choked sob of desperation as you started to beg for him. "daddy —please, need to cum —" You whispered with a soft, begging whine in your voice, your hands desperately trying to pull him back to you by gently tugging his hair towards you with another whine, making him grip both of your wrists tightly, but not too tight, with one hand and pull them away from his hair. He slowly stood up, making sure not to hurt you in the process, and look at you with a stern look.

"no. only good sluts get to cum." Micheal whispered harshly, his voice husky with an animalistic tone, his voice practically a growl. He leaned down, his face to your eye-level. His hot, heavy breath fanned your lips as he looked at you with wide, lustful eyes. He let go of your hands before standing up with a stern expression on his face. Your orgasm quickly dissapeared, making you have a soft pout on your lips. "don't move your hands, keep them above your head." He commaned, his tone harsh but it had a hint of gentleness underneath the harsh tone. He walked over to one of the dressers in the bedroom, pulling open a drawer that you knew all too well.

Your ears practically perked up like a bunny's would from the familiar sound of metal making a — clink! — sound as the metal hit one another. You lifted your head just enough so you could see what Micheal was grabbing, making your eyes widened a bit as you saw what he had grabbed. Micheal had grabbed his favorite toy, the black leather cuffs that always made you wet no matter what. The small chain that kept them together and/or hook onto something drooping slightly as Micheal held in a lazy grip, his hand flexing slightly as held them. The sight of his hand made your face get a bit red, memories of how many times he had choked you and touched you with his hand.

You had zoned out from your thoughts, not noticing how Micheal was looking at you with a dark — hungry — look, that was until you heard Micheal's heavy footsteps again.

Your eyes quickly flicked back to him, your lips parting as you stared up at him with — slightly — wide, lustful eyes. He smirked darkly down at your smaller form, his usual blue hazel eyes now a dark blue with hints of green in them still. You slowly gulped, your body starting to slightly tremble as anticipation once again filled your mind and body. Micheal helped you sit up after he set the cuffs onto the bed, taking off your dress and binder. He gently rubbed the little red line that the binder left, gently kissing along the line of it that was in the front.

He picked up the leather cuffs and motioned for you to hold out your wrists, your body immediately following his directions as if it were on autopilot. He hummed in approval, strapping the leather handcuffs onto your wrists, tugging onto the chain that kept them together, testing the cuffs.

A ghost of a smile graced his lips as he saw that the cuffs were tight enough for you not to move very well, one of his hands gently gripping the chain and helping you move up to the headboard. He quickly grabbed a leather belt that was on the floor and tied it to the headboard of the bed, wrapping it around the chain of the leather cuffs and keeping your hands above your head. He tugged on the belt, testing the belt to see if it would loosen. He let out another soft hum as he saw that the leather belt was tight enough and kept your hands pinned above your head, your wrists not able to move. He gave you look of — does it hurt? — a smile gracing his lips when you shook your head.

Micheal slowly pulled you down, making sure to not hurt you as he made the position more comfortable for you. He leaned down and kissed your lips in a slow, gentle pace, his hands spread on the bedsheets on both sides of your form as he kissed you. You let out a soft whine as he kissed you, your arms jerking a bit as you tried to touch him. He let out a soft chuckle from your actions, knowing that you were a bit irritated with the handcuffs that wouldn't let you move. He pulled back from the kiss to breathe, enjoying the way that your body was trembling under him when he hadn't even done anything. You looked so fucking pretty to Micheal as you stared up at him with pleading eyes, frustrated tears welling up in your eyes as they threatened to fall. Micheal looked at the tears in your eyes, his eyes growing darker as the possessiveness he felt got stronger, everything in him telling him to make you cry so you knew that you only belonged to him.

Micheal stepped away from the bed, finally stripping out of his clothes. Once he had his everything else except his boxers off, he breifly palmed himself through his boxers before taking them off, his cock pink and the veins bulging. You stared at him with hunger, watching as he slowly stroked his hard cock with his spit, his eyes full of hunger as he stared at your body. He stopped stroking himself and walked back to your spread out body that was on the bed, sitting in between your spread legs with a small smirk. He maintained eye contact as he gently rubbed himself up and down your bare pussy, gathering your arousal.

Your pussy was absolutely drenched, the small puddle on the bedsheets now a bit bigger from how wet you were. Micheal lined himself up with your hole before looking at you with a slightly concerned expression, he was silently asking for permission. You nodded, giving him permission to slip inside you. He gave you a soft smile before looking back down at your pussy, bumping his cock into your clit in a teasing manner. The action made you gasp, the gasp turning into a silent scream, the silent scream now a whimper as he slowly pushed himself inside you with a groan.

You whimpered softly as Micheal slowly entered your warm, tight hole, his cock already filling you up even though he wasn't even fully inside you yet. Your head tilted back as a low moan escaped your lips from the feeling of his cock filling you up more, a soft whimper escaping your lips as your hands gripped the leather cuffs. Micheal slowly leaned forward, softly shushing you as an attempt to comfort you.

"you're 'kay dear, 'm almost there.." Micheal whispered as he leaned forward, kissing your cheek. He slammed fully into you with a groan, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss to swallow the loud cry that escaped your puffy lips. He kept himself all the way inside your hole, staying still so you could get used to his size. It still amazed Micheal how tight you were despite having sex with him almost everyday. Micheal looked down at your smaller form, watching how your tits were so exposed as your head tilted back a little, your lips parted as soft whimpers slip out. Micheal kept still, waiting for your permission to move.

The pain from Micheal's size subsided, the pain now pleasure. You moved your hips up as best as you could to test out the feeling of him, a low moan escaping your lips as you rested your head on a pillow to look up at Micheal. Micheal looked at you with the silent question for permission, getting a nod from you. Micheal slowly thrusted forward, a low groan escaping his lips from the feeling of how tight your cunt was. The action made you moan, the soft noise making Micheal twitch inside your cunt. He kept a slow pace for now, the knot in your tummy from earlier coming back.

Micheal looked at you with lustful eyes as he slowly thrusted into you, keeping the pace agonizingly slow so he could make you beg for him. It worked, soon enough you were a babbling mess of — "please, faster-! need you, daddy!" or "harder, daddy-! s- so good..!" — with small whimpers and whines escaping your lips, the desperation for him overwhelming your body, soul, and mind.

Micheal let out a low growl, an actual growl, finally setting the pace to a quicker one with his hips slamming into yours as he thrusted harder into your tight hole, the hard thrusts making you cry out and moan. Micheal stared down at your body, the possessive feelings getting overwhelming as he slid one of his hands to your throat and gripped it firmly, the grip still gentle though. Micheal pulled out, leaving just his tip inside you before slamming into you. He kept doing that until he heard you moan louder than you had earlier, almost making him go feral.

"that's right, moan for me." Micheal growled lowly, his hips slamming into yours in a harder pace as his larger body hunched over your smaller form. Your body shook as you felt the orgasm that was denied earlier approach much faster than before. Micheal could feel your cunt tightening on him, making him groan lowly as he slammed into you even harder.

"that's right darlin', cum for daddy. i want to feel you cum on my cock." He groaned lowly, his hand on your throat tightening a bit more. The grip wasn't too tight, just enough to make you a little lightheaded and brain hazy. As if on cue, the knot in your tummy snapped, a silent scream on your lips as your back arched off the bed and your head tilted back as you laid on the pillow. You came hard, your whole body practically trembling as you came, the feeling making Micheal groan. Micheal couldn't handle it anymore, his hips now slamming into yours hard as he thrusted into you with abandon, low growls and groans escaping his lips.

"fuck, such a good slut f' me. you're mine, darlin'." Micheal growled lowly, leaning down and capturing your lips in a rough kiss as he thrusted into you impossibly harder. "cum f' me again, dear. need to feel you again." Micheal groaned into the kiss, running his tongue across your bottom lip — asking for permission. You kept your lips closed with a soft giggle, making Micheal growl lowly. He thrusted sharply into you, making you gasp slightly. He took the chance and dove his tongue into your mouth, taking control of the kiss as he explored your mouth with his tongue. Micheal pulled away from the kiss and gripped your hips tightly with both hands, slamming into you harder — if that was even possible — his cock hitting your g-spot with each thrust.

The pleasure was overwhelming for you, making you cum again with a cry. Your body shook under Micheal's grip as you came, your head tilting back, your back arching off the bed, and your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Micheal looked down at your body as you came, speeding up his thrusts as he slammed into you even harder.

"i'm goin' to make you mine forever, baby.." Micheal whispered as he leaned down next to your ear, his breathing heavy as he fucked you through your orgasm. The overstimulation was too much for your body, making you cum again as you practically screamed from the overwhelming painful pleasure of Micheal's thrusts and the overstimulation you were experiencing. Micheal's thrusts got sloppy as he chased his orgasm, slamming into you harder a few times before he slammed himself fully inside you.

Micheal stayed still as he came inside you with a low groan, the groan sounding a lot like a growl. His cum filled you up to the brim, a low moan escaping your lips as your tummy felt scorching hot from how much cum was inside you. Micheal stared down at your body, watching how full your cunt looked with his cock fully inside you. You looked absolutely beautiful with his cock stuffed inside you so deeply. Micheal stayed in place for a few minutes, enjoying how it felt to have you so full of him inside you.

Eventually Micheal slowly pulled out of you, watching how his cum dripped out of your cunt and fell onto the bedsheets that were under you. He looked up at you, watching how you were starting to get sleepy and drowsy. Micheal leaned forward and untied the belt, throwing it across the room, not caring where it went. He then unbuckled the handcuffs, kissing your wrists to comfort you. He got off the bed, walking into the connected bathroom and grabbing a soapy washcloth to clean you up. He walked back over to you and slowly cleaned you up, gently rubbing your waist with one hand while his other one cleaned your cunt. Micheal picked you up bridal style, taking you to the bathroom and letting you use the restroom alone as he switched out the bedsheets and the comforters. Micheal carried you out of the bathroom as you yelled out his name, setting you back on the bed. He gave you a change of black panties but helped you put on his black "Nirvana" shirt that you basically swimmed in and helped you put on pajama shorts.

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You and Micheal had been cuddling on your bed, the movie "Bolt" playing softly in the background. Your head laid on Micheal's chest as you watched the movie, not noticing how Micheal was grabbing something very special..

"baby, let's go get some snacks." Micheal offered, although it was more like commanded, making you grin. Micheal slowly got up and held out his hand, smiling when he felt your hand in his. He led you to the kitchen, helping you walk since you were still a bit sore. He gently grabbed your waist and sat you up on the countertop, pecking your nose before walking over to a cabinet and grabbing a box of chocolate he bought for you.

♪ a/n: you can choose any candy ya want, i just put chocolate so i don't have to do the fav food abbreviation <3.

Micheal handed you the chocolate, chuckling softly at how excited you got from seeing it. He watched as you opened it, slowly pulling out the small box with a ring inside it and getting down on one knee as he took the opportunity of you not looking to ask the big question once you looked back at him.

You stared at the note in the box of chocolates in shock, reading the handwritten words with tears of happiness already welling up in your eyes.

♪ a/n: the text below is the note and it's corny as hell, i know it is. but it's fanfiction, wth did you expect?💀 bruhh, i'm not even good at love notes, so it's even more corny and worst than most😭😭

Baby, these three years have been the best years of my life and I want the rest of my years to be the best too. You always make me so happy, before I met you.. my life was dark and had no light, it was endless darkness. You are my light, my amazing and beautiful light. I love you, darling. look in front of you for a surprise, my love.

yours forever,

Micheal A.

You finally looked back at Micheal, a soft gasp escaping your lips as you saw him on his knee and the beautiful clear diamon ring in the small box he was holding. You covered your hand with one hand to stop the sobs of happy tears wrack through your body, your whole being now filled with overwhelming happiness and your love for Micheal. You nodded quickly, setting the box of chocolates to the side and hugging him as he stood up, his larger form in between your legs. You hugged Micheal tightly, the sobs wracking through your body as he gently stroked your back and gently kissed your hair. After you had finally calmed down, you looked back up at him with a soft smile. He smiled back and leaned down again, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss as he slid the ring onto your ring finger. The motion made you smile into the kiss, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and deepening the kiss.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You were excited about your future with Micheal, you absolutely loved this man. You loved Micheal Afton, the most important person in your life who thought he didn't deserve your love. He loved you and you loved him, you were happy with your life now..

#micheal afton #michael afton smut #michael afton x reader #fnaf micheal #fnaf smut #afton family #first smut imagine #smut in general #i wish i had micheal as a boyfriend tbh #first official post #smut is life #help what do i do #idk how to tag lmao #this sucks😭

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theetherealbloom · 1 year

Text

UNEVEN ODDS - CH. 8

Chapter Eight: Darkness Exists To Make Light Truly Count

Summary: The Reader is dragged into the Last of Us universe and has no choice but to watch the events unfold or will she be able to change what was already written?

Paring: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Age-gap Romance, Violence, ANGST, LOTS OF ANGST IM SORRY AGAIN, Swearing, Suicide, FLUFF, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Crying, Suggestive content, the pandemic, character death, INFECTED, MY SCIENCE IS WONKY, probable plot holes, rusty writing, TLOU is dark please read at your own risk!

Word Count: 9.6k

A/N: Did I drag myself through hell and back writing this last chapter? YEP. Was I anxious writing this meaning that this would be the end of this series? YEAH. Did life get in the way and forcibly had to make me catch up with my schoolwork? UNFORTUNATELY YEP PLS–

Song: Someone To Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

Previous Chapter -> Epilogue | Series Masterlist

TLOU WORLD 2023

SILVER LAKE, COLORADO TO SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH – ONE WEEK LATER…

The bitterness of winter as time month moves on, you are greeted with the sweetness of spring. When did your life become a series of countdowns? Was it all just a grain of sand in an hourglass? One moment you were stumbling through the snow, away from Silver Lake. Next, you’re on the outskirts of Salt Lake City, Utah. Roughly 3,534 miles and you’re counting down the hours of today, vaguely knowing about what happens in Saint Mary's Hospital, the operation on Ellie, and the death of a surgeon triggering a chain reaction to stir violence with the former fireflies to kill Joel.

Each step into the city meant the possibility of losing them both to the future you seem to believe is set in stone, their stories already written and their fates chosen long before you had even stepped foot in the reality you couldn’t have possibly imagined existing. So you are standing and listening to him in that glistening emptiness, scavenging the remaining vehicles that contained any items to use. You hear your childhood sympathies banging against each other in a giant communal eardrum circle, trying to drown out melodies you can’t help but hum to. It feels like a part of your past follows you everywhere you go, a ghost you can’t shake, someone familiar but every time it places its hand in your hand, neither one of you could feel it.

Your weight is resting on the counter of the dilapidated kitchenette in an old RV, Joel tries to call your name, but you are now too deep into the thought that you don’t hear his rich and rough voice telling you about the broken guitar he found. Every part of you is somewhere else, a distant and dazed look in your eyes as you feel your vision blur. Joel approaches you cautiously, not wanting to startle you as he gently places his large palm on the side of your arm, rubbing it gently as he spoke softly, “Birdie… what’s wrong?” You blink up at him, your expression weepy and choked up, “Joel… there’s something you need to know.” He’s quick to ask, “What is it? What’s wrong, Darlin’?”

You feel your body melt at the nickname, but you gently place your hand on his, squeezing it as you said, “Joel… I know how all of this ends. I know how you die.” You watch as his shoulders rise, his breathing becomes still, and his expression was mixed with realization, curiosity, and despair. He swallows as he asks, “How… I thought you didn’t know everythin’?” You nodded, “Yes, I swear to you, there were parts I didn’t know or couldn’t remember. Everything except how all of this ends.” He frowns and grimaces, but never lets go of your hand, gruffly he says, “Tell me.” You move a little closer to his warmth, wanting to be close to him as you spoke, “Everything that will happen at Saint Mary's… the decisions and choices you make in the next few hours will be the cause of your death in the next few years or so. The Doctor you kill and um… You and Ellie… I don’t know if there’s a chance of a happy ending in this world or any way out of this besides going back to Jackson and convincing Ellie that she doesn’t have to go through with this or… fighting our way through the upcoming obstacles in our way.”

Joel shifts his weight from one leg to the other, bringing his eyes to yours, and at that moment you knew, the heat that radiates in his stare as he looks at you, every inch of skin comes alive as he drags his hand along your arm to your waist, sliding it and carefully securing you closer to him. Now, you are inches away from your lips to his, his nose touching the tip of your own with your foreheads pressed together, you breathe him in, close your eyes, and sigh in comfort. He cradles the side of your face and you lean into him, he gently asks, “What would you like me to do, Sweetheart?” You place your hand on top of his, leaving a soft kiss on his wrist and then replying, “I need you to stay alive. Ellie needs you… I need you to be here with us. Next, when the opportunity presents itself, please, I beg you, spare the surgeon.” He whispers his inquiry, “Why?” You sniff and feel your eyes well up, “Because his daughter will be the reason for your death. Look, I don’t care who else you decide to kill, just if you can… leave him alive.”

He holds you closer as he shakily asks, “Why are you tellin’ me this now, Hon’?” You lick your lips nervously, placing your head on his shoulder as he fully embraces your figure, slowly speaking, “I… I’m scared, Joel. I’m honestly terrified of what’s going to happen next. I don’t want to lose you… I can’t lose you.” You shudder at the thought, the mere idea of it brings you to clutch him tighter, and he cradles your figure closer as he soothes you, “You won’t lose me. I’m persistent, remember?” You weakly laugh at that, and he wipes away the tears from your cheeks while saying, “Let’s go show Ellie what we found.” You open your mouth to speak but he has already read your mind, “We’ll figure it out and cross that bridge when we get there. Okay, Birdie?” He has changed all of your circuitry, the red and gold, writing all over your being. How he looks at you, his eyes say everything without a single word. You nod and whisper, “Okay.” He presses his lips to yours with passion and promises, “I’ll keep us safe, I swear.”

You step out and leave the abandoned RV, grabbing an old board game, and canned food. Joel yells out, “Ellie! Ellie.” Still, no response from the teenager sitting at the back of an old blue truck, and her mind seems to be somewhere else. “Ellie!” Joel yells a bit louder, which causes her to turn around to look at him, preoccupied, remote, distracted perhaps by the magnitude of what their arrival in Salt Lake City could mean.

“D’ya hear me?”Joel asks through the loud wind blowing through everyone’s hair, Ellie shakes her head, “No. What?” Ellie asks, and Joel excitedly shows Ellie that he found a can, “Well, we found this in there. Beefaroni. Chef Boyardee.” Calling back to their campfire meal, to which Ellie tries to sound enthusiastic, but ending up sounding flat, “Oh, cool.” Joel approaches Ellie, shaking the old cardboard box game, “And have you ever played this? Boggle? It’s a word game.” She politely and quietly shakes her head, seemingly uninterested but still trying to please Joel, she hands him back the box and he says, “Well if you wanna beat me at somethin’, it would be this.”

Ellie manages to nod her head, and you frown at her lackadaisical nature, noting that this isn’t like her at all. You walk to Joel’s side as he calmly spoke again, “Well, all right then. We’re gettin’ close. Hospital that way. May be the one we’re lookin’ for.” Ellie pushes herself off the back of the truck, the sound of dirt crunching beneath her boots as she replied, “Got it.” She grabs her pack while Joel shoves the canned food and board game into his backpack. Ellie approaches you both and Joel rolls his shoulder, showing her the rifle, “Take this for me?” Ellie grabs so he can throw the strap of the backpack across his shoulder, “Thanks.” He grabs the rifle once more, carrying it while Ellie nods in acknowledgment.

As the three of you walked along the ruined highway, Joel begins to talk, “They had a guitar in that RV. It was all smashed up but got me thinkin’ maybe I should find one. I haven’t played in forever. In fact, I was thinkin’ maybe I could teach you. I bet you’d be great at it.” Ellie merely hums and Joel asks her with a sort of hopeful tone, “Do you wanna learn how to play guitar?” There is no response from Ellie, your eyes shift from her to Joel, and you see him frown in concern, “Ellie?” She looks up, blinking at him as she hums in response, “Oh, yeah. That’d be great.”

Surprisingly, the entire walk into the city was quiet, there was no chatter from Ellie or Joel, no melody leaving your lips as you pass by abandoned cars. After what seemed like thirty minutes, Joel finally broke the silence once more, “Okay, so this is what I’m thinkin’...” Ellie already knew what he was talking about, “Cut through that building to get around that stuff, find the skyscraper, go up and look around.” You look at her impressed, while Joel says, “Actually, this time I was thinkin’ we blast our way through that rubble. I found some dynamite in that RV back there.” This catches Ellie off guard, “Really?” While you give him a suspicious look, “The fuck has gotten into you?”

Joel confirms he was joking around as he replied to you both, “No, so we’re gonna cut through that building, find a skyscraper, go up, and look around. But I had you both goin’, didn’t I?” You playfully rolled your eyes while Ellie nods once more. The group decides to cut through the building on the way to the hospital, and decide to climb an abandoned skyscraper to get a better vantage point and lay off the land. The red tarpaulins hanging over the scaffolding, “Look at this place,” Joel says as you all take a good look around your environment, “Talk about bad luck. Military drops bombs, not one of them hits the building you’re trying to demolish.” You peek through the rubble to see the sunlight streaming through, Joel cranes his neck to look up, “No way up.”

He approaches the fence gate inside the construction, the steel rattling loudly as he does, and walks through with you and Ellie trailing behind him. Joel spots a ladder peaking from above as you stand next to him, “I get Ellie up there, you can drop down that ladder down, maybe we go through that way. Come one I’ll give you a boost.” You both turn to look for her to find her looking through abandoned blueprints, you watch as Joel is more attentive to her as he asks, “You okay?” Ellie brings her head up to look at him, “Yeah, I’m fine.” Joel doesn’t buy it, “It’s just you seem extra quiet today, so.” Ellie feels the guilt bubble in her, “Oh… I’m sorry.” While you and Joel shake your heads, “No, it’s fine. Did you hear what I…” Ellie is quick to nod, “Yeah, boost. Got it.”

Joel steps on top of the wooden scaffolding, and Ellie grabs his outstretched hand, readying his stance while saying, “One, two, up.” You watch as Ellie pushes her body weight up while Joel asks, “Ya got it?” Ellie responds, “Yeah. Okay.” She’s just about to put down the ladder, however, the usually attentive Ellie is caught off guard by something and instead ends up just dropping the ladder and running off to look at something. Joel barked out, “God dammit, Ellie! Shit.” You also call for her, but there is no indication she hears you. You and Joel lift the ladder while he yells out to the teen, “You stay there!” To which Ellie yells back, “You gotta see this!” You climb the ladder first while Joel follows behind you, your voice echoes as you spoke, “Ellie? Where are you?”

“Up here!” Ellie says while you and Joel pursue her, perhaps worried at first that she’s in danger. Grumbling, Joel says her name but Ellie is quick to run, “Come on!” You and Joel wonder what the fuss is about, he calls her again, trying to get her to stop running so damn fast, “Ellie.” Again, she doesn’t relent, pushing faster to chase whatever caught her attention. Joel is breathing heavily as he mumbles, “Just wait. God damn it.”

After another flight of stairs, you pass by a ruined wall, as you sidestepped it, what you both find is Ellie, standing awestruck by the sight of a giraffe, peacefully munching on some leaves growing on the building. The feeling of enchantment rushes through your body, the familiarity of the scene that you had a glimpse of during your time back in your other universe. How important this meant to both of them.

Joel quietly approaches and stands next to Ellie, while you are to the left of her. Though time is ruthless, it showed you kindness despite the effects the Infected have wrought on the hope and innocence of the world in the end. But showing and by slowing down enough, a second chance to make amends. Ellie pointedly looks at Joel, “Don’t scare it.” To he replies, “I won’t.” He sets down his rifle, draws his weapons, and gives himself and Ellie a welcome reprieve from the darkness so that the balance may be restored. When the world welcomes you in, you’re closer to Heaven than you’ll ever know. They say this place has changed, but strip away all of the technology and you will see that you all are hunters, hunting for something that will make us okay.

Joel grabs a couple of leaves from the side of the tree and Ellie’s voice is in alarm as she asks, “What are you doing?” He reassures her, “It’s all right. Come here, hurry up. Come on.” Ellie walks towards him, a little closer to the giraffe, while you stand there nervously rubbing your arm. Joel spots your discomfort but quickly reassures you, “You too Hummin’ bird.” You exhaled deeply, trusting Joel and walking closer to the giraffe.

He passes leaves to you both, and there is a form of uncertainty between you and the giraffe, but eventually, you stretch out your hand and the giraffe approaches you, grazing on the leaves you have presented to the creature. When you were out of leaves, it then went to Ellie, happily munching on the leaves she had with her. There is something so precious about Ellie’s laugh. The whole is so much greater than the sum of these parts. You've heard the truth before, for in beauty there echoes a speck of our source. There's a voice inside your soul, that resonates through your skin and bone. Crooked mouth, quiet down, you let your fists come undone. The understanding that miscarried love will be reborn. There is hope in our eyes when we truly see each other.

Joel smiles lovingly at her joy, the honoring of every shadow, and gratitude for all that follows. Overwhelmed, wave after wave, you are more afraid to lose what you have found, even after all this evolving, it still feels unnatural, still pulls tight the muscles, and strains the arms and spine. Ellie’s laughs are melodious as she states, “So fucking cool.” There are no more leaves left for the giraffe to munch on, seemingly done, she begins to trot away. Ellie whines, “Aw, where is she going?” She begins to race after her, yelling out to her two guardians, “Come on, come on, come on, come on!”

As Joel was about to turn and call after her, you grab his wrist, causing him to look at you with concern, “What is it, Hon’?” Your heart melts at the nickname, you give him a soft smile as you took in a breath before speaking your heart out, “I have to tell you something.” He frowns in concern, “Now? Ellie might–” You cut him off while nodding, “Yes, now.” Joel leans a little closer, “What is it? Tell me what’s wrong.” You weakly laugh at his statement, knowing him too well to know that whatever is wrong he’d immediately want to fix it for you because that’s how he cares.

A beat passes between you two, the sound of the wind rustling the leaves, the huffs of the giraffes from outside, and even a few birds chirping, seemed like everything was right where it should be. Joel opens his mouth, and at first, no sound comes out, but he gathers his courage and says, “Not that I wouldn’t say it first, ‘cause I would.” You smile at him knowing what he was implying, and you shake your head, “It’s no big deal,” You try to finish your statement but he cuts you off, his southern accent is more prominent as his voice goes lower, “I’ll tell you soon.” You hold the side of his face, as he looks at you while holding his breath ‘cause you both could, in a voice so soft and sweet, you say, “Until then, I love you.”

The darkness that hangs over him at first tries to reject it as his lips parts in astonishment and bewilderment. He would drag you through the muck while telling you that you belonged to a cleaner lifestyle. He thinks you'd be crushed underfoot by him, that you'd be able to see right through him, that he's just spewing hot air, that you'd be always racing after him as he chases after more svelte models, and that it would be a never-ending cycle. His mouth quivers and his beautiful southern accent is accentuated as he asks, “Are you sure? After everything I’ve done? After all the people I’ve killed?”

You held your breath while you thought about it for a long, quiet moment. “I am willing to fit into any spaces you give me since I am aware of your sharp edges and have seen your beautiful curves. Bring on the muck if loving you takes becoming filthy,” you said. “And right now, I’m pretty in love with you, if that’s okay.”

He leans it to place his lips to yours, kissing you with such fiery passion you had only ever dreamed or seen in moves and read about in romance novels. His lips were warm and soft. They parted slightly, allowing my tongue to slip inside. Your bodies pressed together heatedly, breathing heavily as our lips pressed together. You could taste your shared breath, and feel the thud of your combined heartbeats. And just like that, he did not crave the language he always thought he needed. The warmth and softness of his lips, the taste and scent of his breath, and the subtle movements of both of your tongues. But even though he couldn't say it out loud, it was undeniable that both of their love for each other was palpable. It was in the way you laughed together, the way you touched each other's hands, and the way you looked at each other. Pulling away, to cup your face, and just like that a hand reached backward into a faraway dream and said, “Come on then, we better catch up to Ellie.”

Moving to the rooftop of the building, Joel pulls the door open and you see Ellie happily observing the herd of giraffes. The rusty door squeaks as it shuts behind you, looking over the towers of giraffes walking around the greenery that has taken over the ruined city. You walk over to Ellie’s side, making her the center between you and Joel. The weight of family and the pull of gravity. It seems like growing up didn't take long, you were a family pulled from the flood, you tore the floorboards up and let the river rush in, not wash away.

You recognize the parallel to the first time you stood on a rooftop with Ellie and Joel, looking over the view of a ruined city to find some absolute answer to a world that seemed so hopeless. Joel places his hands on the ledge of the rooftop, and he gruffly asks, “Is it everything ya hope for?” You look at Ellie, her lips forming a little smile, “It’s got its ups and downs, but you can’t deny that view.” It set your hearts ablaze, and every city was a gift, every skyline was like a kiss upon the lips. Joel looks at Ellie concerned mixed with uncertainty, “Look, I don’t know exactly where this hospital is…” The teen’s determination is unwavering as she swiftly said, “Yeah, we’ll find it.”

He releases a shaky breath, he feels his parental nature returning, “Sure. It’s just… Maybe there’s nothin’ bad out there, but so far there’s always been somethin’ bad out there.” Ellie shrugs, “We’re still here, though.” Joel nods, “I know. I’m only saying there’s risk.” Ellie looks away but Joel shifts his weight to lean closer, insisting, feeling a presentiment of losing her, “We don’t have to do this. I want you to know that.” Ellie turns to look at him with furrowed brows and a frown, “What do you mean? What else are we supposed to do?” To which Joel responds, “Nothin’. We just go back to Tommy’s. We forget the whole damn thing.”

“After all we’ve been through? Everything I’ve done? It can’t be for nothing,” Ellie replies evenly. “I know you mean well. I know you want to protect me. You have. And when we’re done, we’ll go wherever you want. Tommy’s, sheep ranch, the moon. I’ll follow you anywhere you go. But there’s no halfway with this. We finish what we started.” She finishes giving her a touching speech with clear-eyed dignity. After a beat passes, Joel reluctantly nods in agreement. It becomes clearer now, if you listen just right, you can almost hear it. The symphony of secrecy, life, the search for love, but finding fear. We could hold our breath forever, or maybe for a while. The best will surely come, until then you’ll feel nothing at all.

You three proceed to cut through an abandoned emergency medical center left over from the outbreak. You see the ruins of triage tents outside, and a brief moment of déjà vu creeps over you, remembering the makeshift facilities and tents from your universe during the outbreak. Some vines overgrow the poles of the tents, there are rotting medical supplies and vehicles. Taking it all in, Ellie wonders, “Was it a FEDRA thing?” Joel shakes his head, “No. Army. They put these places up all around, the first few days after the outbreak. Emergency medical camps. Obviously didn’t last. They had me in one just like this.” Ellie quickly assumes he had his daughter with him, “With Sarah?”

You look at him concerned and afraid that he would begin to lash out in anger as a defense, but he doesn’t. Instead, he shakes his head in disagreement, “No, she was gone already. So what was wrong with you?” Joel points to his scar, “It was for this.” Ellie nods in realization, “The guy who shot and missed. I figured that would’ve happened later.” There’s a shift in his voice that you catch, “No.” He slows his pace to a stop, “Second day.” You stop to look at him but Ellie continues to talk, “I’ve gotta hand it to the Army people and Birdie. They are way better at stitchin’ you up than I was.”

“It was me.” This causes Ellie to freeze and turn around to see the rise and fall of her chest falter. Your eyes begin to gloss over and sting and the thoughts seep into her head with a terrifying blankness. It was nauseating. Joel baldly confesses, “It was me,” he says. “I was the guy who shot and missed.” He then moves to sit atop a concrete barrier, while you and Ellie also move to sit beside him, “There’s no story. Sarah died. And I couldn’t see the point anymore. Simple as that. And I wasn’t scared, either. I was ready. I couldn’t have been more ready. When I… When I went to pull the trigger, I flinched. Still don’t know why.” The raw admission, of him opening up himself to you and Ellie shows how far you three have come. A great tremor took over your body, a tightening of your throat and a short intake of breath, you try and will yourself to not cry. “Anyway, the reason I’m telling you all this is…” Ellie cuts him off, “I know why you’re telling the both of us this.”

He nods, “Yeah, I reckon you do.” And you hold his hand to stop his thumb from fidgeting with his pointer finger, unsure if you were comforting him or yourself. To remind yourself he’s still here. After a moment of silence and uncomfortable realization, Ellie says, “So time heals all wounds, I guess.” Joel ponders for a moment, before deciding to openly admit how much he truly cares for Ellie and you, “It wasn’t time that did it.” He unwaveringly, and lovingly looks at Ellie and you, squeezing your hand as he does. For Joel, everything you’ve been through, all the pain and death, it’s worth it because he has a daughter again and now you. It brings everything together for Joel. He’s succeeded here. He cares less about Ellie’s potential for a cure and more about not losing a person he loves again. He, is once again, whole.

Ellie quietly lets go of the breath she was holding, “Well, I’m glad that… that didn’t work out.” Joel nods in agreement, “Me, too.” He wipes away the tears with his other hand and then moves to wipe away the tears that you didn’t even realize had streamed down your face. The teen awkwardly shifts to move off the concrete barrier you three were sitting on, “We should probably get going.” Joel automatically agrees, “Yeah.”

There's something about sadness that leaves you wanting more. A sickness that breathes… from holding on to letting go, like the feeling of change is almost like dying. You know from time to time that hope seems but a foreign land. A distance that you cannot reach and a language you cannot speak. In his words, the movement of his eyes, the expressions on his face, the rush of your walking. And through all the things you'll find out and will hold on tighter to the surface of life. Like a moth to the flame, we become helpless to the beautiful ghost that true love sheds.

You continue your journey to the hospital, Joel hasn’t let go of your hand as you walk side by side with Ellie, he then asks aloud, “You know what I’m in the mood for?” Ellie quizically wonders, “What?” Joel smiles as he responds, “Shitty puns.” She laughs and you smile at her delight, rummaging her pack to find her pun book, flipping through the pages she finds one and says, “‘People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.’” Joel clicks his tongue, making a face in mock offense, Ellie smiles, “Too soon?” Joel shakes his head and smiles, “No, it’s topical.” Ellie lets out a giggle, “Oh, I love this one! ‘Moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks. Why?” The man next to you scratches his forehead before shrugging, then Ellie answer, “‘Cause they’re meteor.’” You smile in amusement while Joel shakes his head, “Oh, that’s terrible.” Ellie throws back, “Fuck you. That was actually good.” He disagrees entirely, “That’s a zero out of ten.” You laugh, “Oh, we’re giving grades now?” His southern accent is prominent as he replied, “Damn right darlin’.” Ellie laughs, “All right, all right. ‘What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, you idiot.’” Joel rates, “That’s a three outta ten.” But Ellie tries to bargain, “Seven, minimum.” He shakes his head but tries to meet her in the middle, “I’ll give it a five. Five outta ten.”

In the moments that you feel that you three are closer than ever before, the world drops out from under your feet. The sharp sound of metal from something behind you causes you three to turn your heads in alarm, spotting the stun grenade, Joel moves to shield you and Ellie, bringing you three crashing to the ground. There is smoke that hazes your vision, and the ringing in your ears is sharp and painful, the world around you is a blur. You make the muffled sounds of Ellie yelling for you and Joel, tall figures with firearms taking her and you away from him. There is always something there, to take your hearts like thieves, there is always something there. A painful strike to the head and it all goes white, to close your eyes, to end this chase while unraveling the most essential thread.

ST. MARY’S HOSPITAL, SALT LAKE CITY — DAY

You slowly blink your eyes open, you hear the steady beat of your own heart with the help of the monitor near the side of your bed, and you feel the plush pillow beneath your head, you feel the cotton of a hospital sticking onto your skin while you are trying to get an understanding of where you are. Next, the smell of familiar antiseptic and bleach fills your nostrils, you first spot that you’re hooked into an IV drip, moving your head to the door frame, you feel your eyes widen and they dart across the room to see Marlene.

You can’t bring yourself to move, as you observe Marlene studying you, finally she says, “You’re finally awake.” You blink once, then again, before swallowing your fears, “Where’s Joel?” Marlene pushes herself off of the wall and uncrosses her arms, “He’s in another room, unconscious but fine. Patrol didn’t know who you were.” Your breathing hitches, “Okay, where’s Ellie?” Marlene replies steadily, as if practiced, “She’s fine. She’s not hurt, mostly worried about you two though.” You narrowed your eyes in suspicion, “You’re going to operate on her.” Marlene sighs, defeatedly she nods, “Yes.” You lick your lips as a nervous tick, “You also know that I’m also immune.” The leader of the rebellion nods again, and you close your eyes to shake your head, “She’s just a kid. She’s everything to Joel… to me. Don’t do the operation on her, take me instead.” Marlene shakes her head in disagreement, “I can’t do that.” You tilt your head to the side, “Why not?”

She heavily sighs, “Your immunity is different from hers.” You scoff, “The cordyceps that she had since birth, grow in her brain, sending a chemical messenger to tell other cordyceps that she is cordyceps. You’re going to have to kill her just to get that damn vaccine. So, just take the plasma from me, it might contain the antibodies that you need to fight the virus.” Marlene places both of her hands on her waist “I can’t let you do that.” Exhausted you frustratingly growl, “Why? This has been the center of debate for years. The fuckin’ goddamn Trolley Problem! Plow into a group of people or turn and hit one person. Forcing you to choose to let other people die, but the solution was so simple.” Marlene takes the bait and asks, “And what is the answer?”

“Sacrificing yourself. And right now, Marlene, I have that choice. Either to let you kill an innocent girl, someone who didn’t ask to be brought into this fractured world to save what little we have left, or save her and all of humanity… with me, someone who never should have been here in the first place.” Marlene hums, “Well, you’re right about one thing… you aren’t from here.” You look at her confused and someone familiar steps into your room, the dark hair, black eyes, his stature lanky and tall, you shakingly exhale, “Adam. How are you even… What?” Another Firefly soldier comes in to retrieve Marlene, whispering that Joel is waking up. She walks away with the Firefly soldier and leaves you and Adam to talk.

He clears his throat, “I’ve been looking for you, and it's been weeks since your apartment burned down with you going missing. Do you remember anything that happened before the fire?” You shake your head, “I remember going to sleep after watching… yeah.” He nods, “You had brought home your research without any of the lab researchers or staff knowing. Your apartment burned down along with the research. I thought it was a little weird since… they didn’t find your body or any indication of you being abducted so I did a little bit of snooping around your desk, found the flash drive of your existing equations and theories before they took it away for evidence, had a hunch you were successful with your research and that you were out there somewhere.”

You manage to let out a chuckle, “Thanks for looking for me… I thought no one would notice if I was gone. It’s nice to have a friend.” He gives an awkward smile, “Did you have to bring yourself into this specific universe?” You rolled your eyes with humor, “It wasn’t intentional, I swear.” He gives you a knowing look but doesn’t tease you any further. Your mind begins to linger on the question you had since you woke up, “Why won’t Marlene just operate on me? It would be the best solution to avoid the upcoming massacre.”

Adam frowns and sighs, “When I first came here to look for you, Marlene had found me and then recruited me to join the Fireflies, but I had told her I wasn’t fit to fight and that I’m a scientist looking for a lost friend in their universe. You could imagine her skepticism but she eventually believed me,” You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach as he continued, “After we made it to Salt Lake City, I had said that if things were to change, if you were to sacrifice yourself, to take Ellie’s place, it would completely cause the boundary between two universes to erode, and collide, destroying one or both entirely.” You look up at the ceiling, the fluorescent lights hanging from above, “Let me guess, our universe is next to this one.” Adam nods, “I’m sorry. I tested the simulation before I got here… There are certain points that you can change but most of it stays the same.”

“Do you know how this ends?” You asked, he raises his eyebrows, “Which part?” You think to yourself before speaking again, “All of it.” He nods then loudly exhales, “Yes. It ends… in a selfish choice. A lie. But you already knew that why do you need to ask?” Unwaveringly, you stare him down, your voice stern and steady as you say, “Because I’m going to make my selfish choice too.”

It was quiet for a moment, the epiphany kicking in and settling between you and your friend. Adam shifts his weight on the other leg before reaching into his pocket, showing you a small rectangular device, “I managed to figure out the wiring and transmission issue, as well as the power issue with crystalized radium, and stabilized it with other elements. So, I managed to create a portable version of the machine you had. We can go home.”

That is what you were looking for all this time, right? A way back home. Now it’s right here in your grasp, just in reach but you feel no joy. No overwhelming sense of comfort or excitement. Nothing. You swallowed and shake your head, “No.” Adam is taken aback by your answer, “What? But you… your life back home.” You shake your head disagreeing, “That was never my home. You and I both know that. I was already researching a way out of that place, somewhere far away, and now… I’m here, free, and loved.” He shakes his head, “You can’t change what was already written.” You give him a sad smile, “The future is always changing. And I’ll make sure of it.” Adam insists, “And if you can’t?”

You leave all logic aside as you breathlessly say, “Then… At least they don’t have to go through any of the next steps alone.” Adam sighs and waves the device, “What do you want me to do with this.” You raise your eyebrows, “Go home, Adam. Ali needs you there, and as for my research… burn it. All of it, destroy everything.” He disagrees with you, “What?! That’s your life’s work?” You blankly stare into his eyes, “We aren’t ready for this kind of this discovery just yet. The world is moving so fast over there, if we don’t slow down, we’ll crash and burn.” He tries again to convince you to come home, to go back to the simple life you had before, “But…” You cut him off, “Remember what you told me? All disasters start with a scientist being ignored.” Defeatedly he tilts his head down, then nods agreeing, “Okay.”

You glance out the glass window of your room, there are Fireflies running down the hall, and from a distance the sound of loud pops and gunshots can be heard echoing, followed by yelling and thumping footsteps of Firefly soldiers. You turn back to look at Adam, “Listen to me, you need to leave right now. Burn all of my research. I want everything wiped out from the Cloud and every hard drive to be destroyed, all of it. But seriously, you need to go. Joel figured out what the hell was going on and will kill anyone who gets in his way. I don’t think he’s himself right now… so please just go… and take care of yourself and Ali for me?” Adam achingly smiles with tears in his eyes, “Goodbye and good luck.” With a push of a couple of buttons, followed by a flash of bright light, your only chance, a way back to your original universe was gone.

The sound of people screaming and dying was getting closer, the unmistakable sound of gunshots fill your ears and you feel a sense of dread creep through your bones. It is never safe enough to fall in love in this world. How easy it is to give the thing you want the most and punish you for it. But you’re smart enough to know, you can’t escape the truth of what you want. Every move we make will trigger another, and every small mistake will be a messenger. Your lives are weaving like a thread within each other, faithfully sharing in our joys and miseries and all that the world can give.

A firefly soldier tries to take cover in your room, essentially holding you hostage. You stay frozen in your bed as you observe Joel as he stalks over with an eerie calm expression, easily aiming at him, spraying him with bullets to take him down, and you don’t move as you watch him flick the switchblade open, the silver glimmering in his hand, brutally stabbing the soldier, he screams in agony before his eyes roll back, dead. He picks up the assault rifle from the corpse before standing and making his way to your bedside, a sharp contrast to what you had just seen, he leans in to kiss your forehead, “Hey, Sweetheart. They were tryin’ to take you away from me. Sorry I didn’t come sooner.” You take in the grime on his face, blood, and dust, lovingly gaze into his eyes and wrap your arms around his waist, “It’s okay. I knew you’d come lookin’ for me.” He breathes you in, and for a moment, he can ground himself with you hugging him tightly, close to him, but a dose of reality kicks in when he hears footsteps of oncoming Fireflies, he says to you, “Can you walk?” You nod, “The drugs that they gave me might kick in soon, but for now, yes.” He nods and helps you up while saying, “Let’s go get our baby girl.”

You feel the cold tiles of the hospital floor, wincing now and then over the debris and rocks, you accidentally step on. Joel shoots his way through, cold-heartedly executing anyone who dares and tries and gets in the way of Ellie. You know deep down he’s disassociated, disconnected from himself and the world around him. There is no sign of remorse in his eyes, only clear-cut focus and calmness you can’t quite place.

Eventually, you make it to pediatrics with Joel holding a handgun instead of the assault rifle. A sign points to where the surgery room is, as you walk through the hallway, you notice the different cartoon jungle animals painted on the walls, spotting another giraffe, the gentle giant that represented a holy moment of peace with Ellie. You press forward, slightly limping with the wounds on your feet as you two make it to the end of the hallway and into the operating room.

Joel quietly pushes the door open, spotting Ellie on the table, ready to be cut open and dissected. He then pushes the second door open to stand by the door, and calmly he says, “Unhook her.” The nurses gasp and the lead surgeon steps forward, “How did you get in here?” Joel doesn’t care to reply to his question, pointing his gun at him, “I said unhook her.” Before you knew what you were doing you loudly spoke, “Dr. Anderson. Listen to me, I know what you’re about to do next, the moment you fuckin’ pick up that scalpel blade, he will shoot you with no hesitation. He’s not himself right now. So, for your own daughter’s sake… don’t fucking move and let the nurses unhook Ellie.” He freezes, not expecting what you had just said, he looks between you two and Ellie, “We need to do this. It could work, we could have a vaccine. A chance to win.”

You shake your head, “Vaccines only work if there’s the proper distribution. A collective effort to try and solve this problem together. You have no resources to distribute it, even if you did it would take years to form collective immunity and then we’d have to figure out how to get rid of the infected. We have to share each other's work openly and efficiently. So that together we might achieve what we cannot achieve alone, collective immunity.”

Dr. Anderson takes in the information, the true meaning of your words but eventually settles on a decision, one that would have major implications in the future. He grabs the scalpel from the tray, and points it at you both, “I won’t let you take her.” There is no hesitation as Joel puts a bullet through his head, the loud gunshot causes both of the nurses to flinch and scream in horror. There is a flat tone in Joel’s voice as he says, “Unhook her.” The nurses have their arms up, shakingly cowering as his voice booms, “Move!” They do as they’re told, unhooking Ellie from the IV, blood drips down her arm, “Cover her arm.” Joel said and one of the nurses places a cotton patch on top of it. He then tells them to turn around, which all of them do with no question. As Joel carries Ellie out of the operating room, you quietly say, “I’m sorry. Tell Abby that I tried. But the moment she comes after him, I won’t hesitate to kill her.”

You leave and catch up with Joel who is carrying Ellie’s limp body in his arms, the elevator doors open, and you both step inside. You made mistakes and did a few things right. It will take what it will take, baby that's life, you cannot change what you do not own, everybody knows. But if you live deep and love strong you get pretty damn close. The elevator doors open to the basement of the hospital, and you both quickly spot a car ready to climb into to leave. As you quickly walk towards it, you begin to fade in and out, your energy spent and feeling the effects of the drugs they had given you prior.

“You can’t keep them safe forever.” Marlene walks out of the shadows with a gun pointed at you both, and you feel yourself slip further into darkness, you hazily hear the words from Marlene, “No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, she’s gonna grow up, Joel. And then you’ll die. She’ll leave. Then what? How long till she’s torn apart by Infected or murdered by raiders? Because she lives in a broken world that you could have saved.” Joel nods, “Maybe. But it isn’t for you to decide.” Marlene throws back at him, “Or you. So what would she decide? ‘Cause I think she’d wanna do what’s right because your girl over there was about to sacrifice herself to spare you both and save the world. And you know it. It’s not too late. Even now,” She tucks the gun away back into her holster, “Even after what you’ve done. We can still find a way.”

That’s when you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore, your eyes roll back to your head, you feel your knees give out and your body comes crashing down to the floor. In this sea of change, understanding is our shore, you disappear with no control. The current is strong, your arms are weak. But you are the branch within his reach, though you cannot catch your breath. Joel isn’t able to catch you in time, and it’s as if the world had slowed down to watch your lifeless body crumple and shut down right in front of him and he’s never felt so powerless. He gazes down at you and then at Ellie, considering the rebel leader’s points, then he brings his eyes to Marlene.

ON THE ROAD, TO JACKSON — DAY

With his closed fists, he will feel like he’s succeeded. Outside of the walls of Jackson is an awful place as far as he can tell. You were victims of a constant loss, you three were not the enemy. He is afraid that his plans will lose their place. Maybe you all could hold your breath forever, or maybe for a while, knowing that the best will surely come like sunshine streaming down or the falling of rain.

Through your sleepy eyes, contagiously bright, as you stir awake, you are now in the front passenger seat of a truck you do not recognize, stretches of tall trees whiz past your periphery as you slowly crane your neck to look at Joel, who is gazing at you with relief and a little bit of remorse. Slowly, you see it in his eyes. The landscape of being are endlessly competing, back and forth for an answer to existence that you can understand. Perhaps you’re looking far too closely, you can't see all the evidence in its entirety. The air in your lungs and the complexity of both of your love for each other and Ellie. But love travels like a rumor here, losing form with every ear, just a skeleton of something more.

Ellie stirs and starts to wake up confused in the back seat, “What?” Joel is quick to reassure her and says, “It’s all right. You’re with us. Take it slow. The drugs are still wearin’ off.” Ellie mumbles, “I was with the Fireflies, and then… what drugs?” Joel swallows down his guilt before steadily saying, “They were runnin’ some test on you and some others. Turns out there’s a whole lot more like you. People that are immune. Dozens of ‘em. And the doctors, they couldn’t make any of it work. They’ve actually…” There’s a small pause, a wavier in his voice as the flashbacks come back to him in a blur, “They’ve stopped looking for a cure,” he lies, and Ellie then asks him suspiciously, “Where are my clothes?” He fabricates another lie, “Raiders attacked the hospital. Barely got ya both outta there. We’ll find you two some new clothes on the way.” Ellie senses the bullshit, “Were people hurt?” Joel clenches his jaw before deciding, “Yes.” To which she asks, “Is Marlene okay?” His eyes get misty again as he drives, he can’t bring himself to admit the truth to her or spew out more lies, so he settles on something true, “I’m takin’ us home.” She turns over so he can’t see her face in the rearview mirror. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

You sit there stunned at Joel’s lies and see the strength of his resolve. You turn your head to look at him to find him gazing at you as if asking, begging through his whiskey-doe eyes, imploring you to not tell her the truth right now. You have to trust him, he knows where he’s going. The unbearable weight of a hidden question between exchanging looks, “Will you follow me, still?” You close your eyes for a moment, and Joel nearly falters, readying himself for the fallout, but instead, you take his right hand, with your own, squeezing it with reassurance. Some truths, over time, can learn to play nice and some truths are sharper than knives. No matter what category you fit into, truth's got its sight set on you. The light that we hold must be buried to bloom. And in spite of the uneven odds, beauty lifts from the earth. You’re the deal that everyone breaks when you’re without him. Only love proves to be the truth.

3 DAYS LATER…

THE OUTSKIRTS OF JACKSON — DAY

After a couple of stops, grabbing clothes and shoes from abandoned houses and stores. The car that he stole from the Fireflies had broken down, Ellie sat in the driver's seat as she traced her arms of the bitemark of the first Infected she ever faced. You were leaning on the other car door, right beside her, before quietly showing your arm the bite mark of the Infected a few weeks prior. She looks up at you in surprise, “You’re also… Immune?” You nod, explaining to her the possibility of now having the antibodies to fight the cordyceps infection along with the speculation of the radiation you had. She dwells on that information for a moment before asking, “Did the Fireflies try and test you too?” You look directly at her, “Yes. I’m not sure it worked though.” The lie that falls off your tongue tastes sour, but she doesn’t pick up on it, sensing that there was enough truth in what you said. Joel loudly shuts the hood of the car, “Well, she got us close enough.” He looks behind him before walking towards you and Ellie, “We gotta walk the rest of the way. Probably a five-hour hike but we can manage that. Remember?” Ellie smiles at the memory of the good times of the journey, “Yeah.”

You hike through the woods, taking in the earthly smell of pine trees and dirt. The forest resets in hope, with every crunch beneath your feet, and the two people you hold most dear to your heart. Joel brings himself to talk about Sarah, “You know, Sarah and I used to hike like this all the time. I wouldn’t say it was her favorite thing. She wasn’t a fan of the mosquitos and such. But she was a big climber, or scampering. That’s probably the right word. That girl, she’d see a big rock, and just…” He makes a noise with his mouth indicating that she would bolt right through the trees to climb it, “She woulda liked you and Birdie. Not to say you and Sarah are the same. Definitely different kids.”

Ellie asks, “How so?” Joel glances at her and says, “Well, she was a lot more, I wanna say girly. And I’m not sayin’ you’re not girly.” She shakes her head, “I’m not.” Joel agrees, “Yeah, you’re not. So that. She was taller. She had a killer smile. Again, not sayin’ that you don’t. But you know why I’d think she’d like you?” Ellie indulges him, “Why?” The answer was so simple, quick, and witty, Joel says, “‘Cause you’re funny. I think you would’ve made her laugh. Anyway, I bet you would’ve liked her back.” The teen next to you agrees, “Yeah, bet I would’ve.”

Eventually, you make it to the edge of the mountain top, looking over the view of the community of Jackson, and it is absolutely breathtaking. The breeze causes your skin to form goosebumps, and feel the tickle of the wind behind your neck. Joel takes a breath and says, “There ya go. Not much further now.” He continues walking and you start to follow but notice Ellie standing back, she calls out to him, “Hey, wait.” He stops and turns to face her, she curses, “Fuck.” Then takes a few steps closer to him, “Back in Kansas City, you asked me about the first time I killed someone. When I got bit in the mall, I wasn’t on my own. My best friend was there and she got bit, too.” Her admission causes her to falter a little bit before she says, “We don’t know what to do, and she says, ‘We can just wait it out, be all poetic and just lose our mind together. And then she did. And I had to… Her name was Riley and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess. And then Sam.”

You and Joel shook your heads, “That’s not on you,” he said and she tries to argue, “I know…” He cuts her off, “Look, sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope. You can feel like you’ve come to an end and you don’t know what to do next. But if you just keep goin’ you find somethin’ new to fight for. And maybe that’s not what…” Abruptly, Ellie speaks up, “Swear to me. Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true.” Joel doesn’t hesitate as he lies, unblinking as he replies, “I swear.” She doesn’t believe him. She knows he’s not telling the truth. But she nods, and says “Okay.”

You hold his hand in support, and then it's just too much, to know that the streets still run with blood. So he tries to push it down, but it comes back faster and harder, tides are changing on a dime. And he’s just trying to keep his head above the water. Surrender's just a word, till you try it out and see how hard it is to hurt with someone else around, you. He’s the worst he’s ever been afraid of almost everything. The skies are clear but storms are always coming. Your gift to him is just to be bracing for the winds he always summons. His home, his heart, thank God you are someone who loves him.

End Notes:

Holy shit this took WAY LONGER THAN EXPECTED THATS ON MEEEE IM SO SORRYYYYY!

ARE YOU OKAY?? GIRLIE YOU GOOD? THIS NEEDS EDITING LATER BUT I HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL AND YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER! DRINK WATER! BREATHE!

Its was an ACCIDENT! I established in Chapter 1 that it was all vague and a mystery woOOoo bcs uhhh I don’t think I was supposed to already give that question an answer in the beginning of the series cuz why the heck would u still read this T^T Alsoooo cause you did trYYYyyy to but couldn’t (I.e Tess, Sam and Henry, you voicing out your protests to Kathleen, etc.) And as if you had any other option but to go with Joel, Ellie, and Tess to survive yk the Infected :,))

CONGRATS U MADE IT AND OMG YOU LITERALLY HAD THE CHOICE TO GO BACK TO YOUR OLD UNIVERSE BUT YOU STAYEDDD FOR LOVEEEEE HEHEHEHEH

The Birdie had bits and pieces of what happens in the game, and sHE TRIED TO SAVE THE DAMN SURGEON, but obviously, homie got shot in the head :)) So now she has to figure out a way to stop Abby without having the whole story OR INFOOOOO YAYYYYY

Even though you tried to tell him not to kill Marlene or the Doctor, that it would be the cause of his death. But he still did anyway, a choice that was already made the moment you both were ripped away from him. He was disassociating :,) which I relate to Joel bb

OKAY I MIGHT WRITE AN EPILOGUE BUT LOWKEY LET ME TAKE A NAP CUZ I’VE BEEN WRITING FOR ALMOST TWO DAYS STRAIGHT WITH NO COFFEE O_O

Anyways… AHEM… I LOVE ALL OF YOU SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH! LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I give you hugs and kisses, and cookies for being so incredibly patient and sticking with me for my first-ever multi-chapter fic. CRAZYYYY.

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