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kiss-me-cill-me · 3 months

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The Ninth Crewmember

Pairing: Robert Capa x Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Summary: You are the ninth crewmember aboard Icarus II, and as the journey wears on you begin to find it harder and harder to ignore your feelings for Capa. Maybe it would be easier if he'd quit dragging you into bed with him...

Warnings: Smut, mentions of reader taking birth control pills as well as other medications, mild angst/pining, nightmares, literal sleeping together, the fun kind of sleeping together, Capa is a bit of a dick but also a sadboi, teasing, begging, use of "good girl" (whoops), bad puns

A/N: Can you tell that I struggle with titles haha? Anyway, finally getting around to cross-posting this from AO3 in my continued attempts to fuel @cillmequick's Capa thots 😉

***Please read the warnings before continuing. Minors DNI***

Your fingers hovered over the panel, looking for the button you were supposed to press. They were all clearly labeled, but there were so many of them that you were having a hard time locating the one you needed. Your index finger moved hesitantly closer to a square near the bottom right of the panel.

“Not that one.”

Capa’s voice behind you made you jump. He sounded… not exactly annoyed, but tired by having to explain again what you were supposed to be doing. Your cheeks heated up as he leaned in close, chin hovering just above your shoulder as he looked at the panel.

“That one.”

He pointed at a button in the lower left, which, embarrassingly, was flashing bright orange and labeled “TEST” in all capital letters. You felt the need to apologize, but held your tongue. Capa went back to doing whatever it was he had been concentrating on before, at the other end of the room. The space he left in his wake felt oddly noticeable.

“Okay,” he said, taking his time to flip a couple of switches above his head. “Ready in three… two… one…”

You pressed the button as he finished counting down, and instantly the room in front of the control chamber was filled with spots of twinkling light. They seemed to dance over every surface for just a moment. The display lasted for less than three seconds, but it was breathtaking even in impermanence.

You looked over at Capa, your eyes still shining with the beauty of it, only to see him calmly taking notes. His expression was carefully neutral, lips pressed together as he scribbled with short, purposeful strokes.

“Capa?” you asked.

“Hm?”

He didn’t look up as he continued to record his observations, and you didn’t wait for him to before continuing.

“Do you think the real thing will look like that?”

Capa stopped writing for a moment, and seemed to consider your question seriously before answering.

“No,” he said finally, putting his stylus down and fixing you with a gaze that made you breath stop. “Even after watching a thousand of these simulations, I don’t think that any one of them could ever capture the true beauty. What it will really look like.”

You were standing a few feet away from him, fixed in place by his intense gaze. Something about Capa had fascinated you, from the moment you’d stepped aboard Icarus II. His bluntness, maybe, or the way his eyes seemed to scan over everything in front of him, as if he were reading it all - people, data, situations - like they were a book. And you would be lying if you said that it didn’t make your heart swell whenever he did it to you.

“You and I will be some of the only people to ever live who will see something so magnificent,” Capa said quietly. “We should count ourselves lucky.”

You nodded in agreement, too entranced and too afraid of flubbing your words to reply.

“Thank you for your help,” Capa continued. He went back to note taking, as if he hadn’t just been waxing poetic about life and the universe. “You can go.”

Capa’s words rang in your head as you made your way to the medbay. It had been hours since you’d left his lab, but the weight still seemed to resonate. A beauty unlike anything anyone had ever seen before. You reflected on the thought as you reported to Searle, to help with a few things before going to bed.

One of Searle’s duties was handing out supplements, and he often asked for your help with making the deliveries. Icarus II was a very large ship, and your fellow crewmembers were usually spread out in the various quarters and chambers. It was faster to do the job with two people.

Before heading off, you worked on separating various pills into small plastic cups, one for each person. There were quite a few pills that everyone had to take every day. Space travel was hard on the body, and it was difficult if not impossible to get all of the necessary nutrients from the food you had aboard. Even with the gardens and the ability to have fresh vegetables, you all still had to take a lot of supplements.

You finished doling out the vitamins, and then opened the final bottle of pills. You, Cassie, and Corazon also received one other daily medication: an oral contraceptive. You dropped three little pills into three little cups.

As you replaced the bottle’s lid, your mind drifted again to Capa. The weight of him hovering just behind you, so close that you could feel his breath against your cheek. You wondered if he had any idea that he made your heart flutter just by being next to you. If he did, he certainly didn’t show it. Capa was incredibly hard to read, but for some reason that only made you want him all the more. Your thoughts wandered, imagining things that you knew would never happen. His hand reaching out to you; the feel of his fingers against your waist; his beautiful blue eyes rolling back as he-

You slammed the bottle of pills down on the counter, banishing the fantasies before you could get too wrapped up in them. It was a bad idea to sleep with your coworkers. The birth control pills were mandated for female crewmembers, but they were precaution rather than permission. Nine people cooped up together, for years. It was better to prevent any potential problems from happening. It was only logical to mitigate the risk. But that didn’t mean that relationships were encouraged.

And besides, you told yourself, it's not like Capa would be interested anyway.

You picked up the little plastic vial with your pills, and tipped them all into your mouth, swallowing quickly.

They burned your throat on the way down.

Capa’s eyes looked almost white in the vivid yellow light of the sun. He looked at the dying star, and you looked at him, breathless again at the way he seemed to silently consider everything in front of him. The edges of his thumbs ghosted over his lips as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, as if to get just a bit closer to that magnificent light.

You were sitting in the observatory, Capa’s empty vial of pills placed precariously on the edge of the bench between you. It had taken you quite a while to find him. He often stayed up late working in his lab, and it was almost rare to see him outside of it. He had been your last delivery, so you figured it wouldn’t hurt to sit with him awhile before heading to your quarters.

You’d been wrong, of course; it hurt more than anything to sit next to him and not have the courage, or the recklessness, to reach out and touch him. As he looked on with amazement at the pulsating sun, you tore your eyes away from him to peer out as well. Dark webs of red and black stretched over the star’s surface. It was strange to think about - how up close it all looked so different from how it had back on Earth. It took up the entire viewing window; so large that it almost felt like it could swallow you at any moment, despite still being millions of miles away.

As he leaned forward, Capa’s dog tags dangled in front of his chest. You wanted nothing more than to grab them. Wrap your fingers around the thin cord holding them, and pull him to you until you both tumbled off the edge of something and into the blazing unknown.

Your tongue darted out to lick your lips. Chapped from the heat of the sun.

“It’s getting late,” you whispered, hoping that he would break the spell so that you wouldn’t have to. “You should get to bed, Capa.”

“Hard to when the sun’s always right there, isn’t it?” he asked, cryptically.

“I guess it is,” you agreed. “But you should still get some rest.”

Capa nodded, and rose from the bench, crushing his empty cup in his hand. He looked back at you, seemed as if he was about to say something, and then left the room without uttering a word. You let out a rough breath, shaking even as you were bathed in the glowing light.

A noise woke you up from your fitful sleep. You’d had a lot of trouble closing your eyes in the first place - probably because of the way your heart was still hammering in your chest, and the way your mind was racing from the events of the day. Still, it was odd to hear any sort of noise at night. Usually the hallways of the ship were deserted, as the crew all slept in their separate chambers. You listened closely, trying to identify the noise through the haze of sleep still clouding your senses.

You heard it again: a muffled banging followed by what sounded like someone struggling.

Curious, you got out of bed and padded softly across the floor of your small room. The door slid open soundlessly, and as you stepped out into the hall you heard the noise a third time. Now you could clearly tell that it was coming from across the hall. Capa’s room.

You hesitated for a moment, closed fist raised and ready to knock. He probably wouldn’t want you to bother him, but what if something was wrong and you ignored it? You wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself. You knocked.

Another muffled sound came from inside, unintelligible.

“Capa?” you whispered, lips pressed as close to the door as you could manage. You didn’t want to wake anyone else up.

There was no answer.

Well, you were already here. You might as well go in and make sure he was okay, just in case. Pressing the small button to open the door, you slipped quietly into his room. The door slid closed behind you.

Capa’s room was entirely dark, unlike the faint, recessed glow of the hallway. It took your eyes a moment to adjust, but when they finally did you could see Capa asleep in his bed, thrashing against some unseen threat. He was having a nightmare.

Immediately, you felt embarrassed. You shouldn’t have barged in; this was his personal space. He was vulnerable, and clearly going through something unpleasant. Knowing Capa, you felt certain that he wouldn’t want any of the others seeing him like this, including you. His brows creased and lips pressed feverishly together in his sleep. You turned to leave, feeling foolish.

“Who’s there?”

The sound of Capa’s voice behind you made you freeze. Just like earlier, in the lab, a shiver inched down your spine at the thought of facing him. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself.

“It’s me,” you responded, turning around.

He was sitting up in bed, blankets pooled around his waist. Shirtless. You felt your face heating up, and were relieved that he couldn’t see your eyes widen in the dark.

“Oh,” said Capa softly. “What are you doing here?”

“I, um… I heard something and I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Against your better judgment, you took a few steps toward him as you spoke. There was a chair next to his bed, and you sat in it, leaning forward on your elbows as you tried to read his expression. The lines of his face betrayed nothing, as usual.

“Is… everything okay?” you asked hesitantly.

Capa swallowed before answering, his eyes flitting up to land on your face. Even in the dark, somehow they seemed to shine. You wanted to look away. You knew you should. But looking into his eyes felt the same as the rushing weightlessness of looking into the sun.

“I’m fine,” he assured you. “Sometimes I have nightmares.”

You nodded, a little surprised he had opened up to you..

“Me too,” you admitted.

Capa seemed to understand what you meant, without you having to say it. He didn’t look away from you as he spoke.

“It is frightening,” he told you. “To be face to face with all of it. The beauty. The scale, unlike anything you’d ever seen back on Earth.” Your mind flashed back to Capa in the observation deck, eyes wide open and leaning forward toward the molten sun. You had thought he was fascinated, but maybe it was something more like the magnetic pull of fear that made him inch closer.

“But I meant what I said earlier,” he continued. “We are lucky to be here.”

Silence hung between you for a moment.

“I’m sorry for letting myself in,” you said finally. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Don’t be,” Capa said. “It’s nice to be checked up on.”

You smiled softly, even as your heart hammered in your chest. You put your hands on your knees and stood up from the chair, then leaned down to look at Capa one last time. He was still sitting up in bed, propped on one elbow, facing slightly toward you. A breath caught in your throat as you reached out and placed a hand on his bare shoulder.

“Get some rest, Capa,” you told him, giving a gentle squeeze.

As you moved your hand away, suddenly it was stopped by strong, stable fingers. You looked down to see Capa grabbing your wrist, looking up at you with those damn sensuous eyes. This time, your heart stopped.

“Stay with me?” Capa asked, the barest hint of a prayer in his voice.

“I…”

“Please?”

Time seemed to stand still as you looked at him. A trace of fear in the very corner of his eyes. A few pieces of hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. His fingers wrapped around your wrist, pressing just a bit too tight.

“Okay,” you agreed. The word seemed to carry all of the air in your lungs along with it, out into the vacant night.

You sat on the edge of his bed, awkwardly facing him, and Capa moved backward to make more space for you. Hesitant, you weren’t sure if he wanted you to lie down next to him. It wasn’t exactly a roomy bed, not being intended for more than one person to occupy at a time. You flittered with indecision as Capa settled back into his pillows.

“C’mere.”

Suddenly, an arm was around your waist. And then you were being hooked into Capa’s body, your back pressing snugly against his chest. Capa sighed behind you, his breath tickling the back of your neck. His arm was still draped around your waist, and his lips just barely brushed against you.

“Sweet dreams,” he whispered.

You let out a shaky breath, and prayed that Capa couldn’t hear how fast your heart was beating.

The next morning, you woke up alone. You tried to ignore your disappointment. Capa was an early riser; the type to get a head start on the day by spending all hours in his lab, including the ones before anyone else on the ship was awake. You had always seen him as a hard worker, but after seeing him so unusually agitated last night, you now wondered if there weren’t other reasons he barely seemed to sleep.

You looked around the small room for a few moments, reflecting on what had happened. Part of you still couldn’t believe it. Was it possible that Capa had feelings for you, or were you just a warm body to sleep next to? Did it even matter? If it meant you got to press yourself up against him, you honestly didn’t care whether there was anything more to it.

But then anxiety clouded your mind. What if Capa had left because he was embarrassed? Too shy to confront you about the mistake he’d made in asking you to stay with him? He was, generally, very straightforward - but you also got the sense that he liked to avoid conflict if possible. And he was so damn hard to read. You sat up and put your feet on the floor, crossing your legs and squeezing them together. He was driving you crazy, and the worst part was, you were way too much of a coward to tell him about it.

You stood, made a sound of frustration, and carefully left the room - looking both ways before you stepped out into the hallway. It was still early, but you certainly didn’t need anyone seeing you step out of Capa’s room first thing in the morning. Rumors traveled faster in the cramped halls of a spaceship than lightning on a summer’s night. You slipped back into your own room, and got ready for the day. Maybe, later, you would confront Capa.

You spent the day avoiding Capa. Which wasn’t too hard; he really did spend most of his time in his lab. You focused on helping Corazon in the oxygen garden, trying to distract yourself with the calming, white-noise sound of water. It didn’t do much good for your nerves, unfortunately.

As the hours wore on, you became more and more agitated, and ultimately, convinced that Capa regretted your night together. It was disappointing, sure, but this was really just a testament to why you shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place. It was a bad idea to sleep with your coworkers. Even if you did literally only sleep with them.

That night, you begged off of helping Searle with the medications; telling him you had a headache and wanted to get to bed. Really, you just couldn't face the thought of handing Capa his little plastic cup of pills, watching as he observed you with his characteristic disinterest. Searle added a few ibuprofen to your medications and watched as you swallowed them down, before telling you he’d handle it and to get some rest.

Eyes on the floor, you headed to your room.

This was not good. You still had years left on the ship, pressed together with everyone in tight quarters. And Capa was right across the hall from you. There was no possible way to avoid him, and yet, how were you supposed to face him after the embarrassment of being ignored and rejected? Your thoughts were still swirling as you reached the door to your quarters, and pressed the button to go inside.

“Sleeping alone tonight?”

The familiar voice behind you caught you off guard. You hadn’t seen him there.

“I didn’t realize there was another option.”

You turned around to face him, slowly. Capa was standing in the open doorway to his room, hands in his pockets and arms unfairly attractive in his light gray tank top. There was just a hint of mischief in his eyes as they slowly swept over you, and it made you feel both anger and arousal.

“I’m sorry about this morning,” Capa said, again seeming to sense what you were feeling without you even telling him. “Trey needed my help with something, and I figured you wouldn’t want me to wake you. Ooor want to walk out together in front of him.”

You felt yourself starting to soften, but still gave your best attempt at a pout as you crossed your arms.

“You could have told me earlier.”

“I know. And I am sorry.” Capa took a step back into his room. “Let me make it up to you?”

It was the wrong decision to follow him. You knew this, but you did it anyway. If only to finish the conversation in the relative privacy of Capa’s room instead of out in the hallway where anyone could hear you. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

“Please don’t be mad?”

Capa’s room was dark, again, and it took your eyes a few seconds to adjust. When you could see him clearly, he was looking down at you, careful expression and head cocked to the side as he awaited your answer.

“Okay,” you agreed.

You were rewarded with a small smile from Capa, and instantly your heart melted. You really couldn’t stay mad at him, even if you wanted to. He was just too damned attractive.

“Let’s go to bed then,” Capa said happily.

He tore off his shirt as he walked to the bed, and for a second you weren’t sure how you were going to stay upright. Capa stood by the bed and waited for you.

“Ladies first.”

“I, um…” you began. “Maybe I should get my pajamas out of my room.”

“Mmm, you don’t really need them.”

Capa took a step toward you and reached over, pulling you close to him. At the same time, his fingers slipped beneath the hem of your shirt. And before you could protest, he was pulling the fabric up and over your head, leaving you only in shorts and a sports bra.

“That’s better,” he smirked.

Capa’s warm fingers landed on your waist, and you felt yourself swoon again. If it weren’t for his piercing blue eyes holding you in place, you were certain you would have fallen over.

Gently, Capa guided you to bed and let you climb in first, before crawling after you. You were spooning again, this time with you lying closest to the wall. With Capa’s body pressed against you, the result was a warm but not uncomfortable closeness. It felt like you were boxed into your own little world, even as the vastness of space threatened to spill in all around you.

Capa’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you in even tighter. You settled back against him, all of your earlier tension melting away. This was nice, whatever it was. You had made up your mind to just enjoy it. It had been a long time since you’d been so close to someone. Capa’s long hair tickled your neck and shoulders, and you exhaled as he-

“Capa!”

His mouth was suddenly on your shoulder, kissing rough enough to leave a bruise. You felt heat rush to your face once again.

“Shhhh,” he teased, lips brushing against you. “Don’t want anyone else to hear us, right?”

“What are you doing?” you whispered frantically.

“Making it up to you,” Capa replied, devilishly. “Like I said I would.”

He put his lips on your neck this time, kissing and scraping your soft skin with his teeth. Despite yourself, you let out a small whimper. Capa’s arms tightened around you.

“Do you forgive me?” Capa asked. You could feel him smiling into your neck.

“I-I don’t know.” A sudden surge of boldness swept through you. “You might need to convince me some more.”

“Hmmm,” Capa growled, directly into your ear. “Wonder how I can do that…"

One of his hands trailed lazily up and down your thigh. His touch was feather-light; moving so slowly that it had your head spinning. Without warning, he grabbed the back of your leg, pads of his fingers pressing into your bare flesh.

“Oh-”

The word left your lips involuntarily, and you felt Capa smirk against you again.

“Think I might have a few ideas…” he said.

“Capa, I-” Before you could get out more than two words, his hand had snaked around to the front of your shorts and was pushing past your waistband. Separated only by the cloth of your panties, his fingers pressed against the wetness that was quickly spreading between your thighs.

“Fuck, you’re soaked,” he whispered. “I knew you were into me, but I didn’t know you had it this bad.”

You arched your back against his bare chest, too drunk on his fingers to formulate a response. And he hadn’t even pushed past your panties yet; he was just touching you through the fabric as you fell apart for him.

“Good girl,” he rasped, sending another wave of euphoria from your neck to your throbbing cunt. “So eager. Want me to put ‘em inside you?”

You nodded, desperate but not trusting your voice enough to speak. Capa slid his hand past the final layer of fabric that separated you, and then one of his fingers was pressing into you. You squeezed your legs together, trapping his hand, and Capa quickly added another finger.

“Fuuuuuck,” he hissed.

His fingers curled, pulling at the strings of tension that were already building in your stomach. You wanted nothing more than to scream for him, but knew you shouldn't. The walls of the ship were far from soundproof, and there were rooms on either side of you.

Capa’s thumb pressed down on your clit, rubbing it as his fingers continued to move inside of you. You were desperate for something to grab onto, but the only thing in front of you was blank wall. You settled for wrapping your legs around his, entangling yourselves together to give you some semblance of being grounded. You bucked against his hand, begging for more friction.

“Forgive me yet?” Capa teased, his breath ghosting over your ear again.

You shook your head no; not willing to give up on the game just yet. Behind you, Capa chuckled.

“So stubborn,” he muttered. “You really want to make me work for it.”

Capa took his fingers away, and you moaned at the sudden loss of him. Not wasting any more time, he grabbed your shorts and pulled them down. You had a brief moment to wonder what you had gotten yourself into.

You’d felt his growing bulge press into your back as Capa had teased you with his fingers, and now you felt him sliding out of his sweatpants. You were both naked from the waist down, and-

“Fuck, Capa.”

He was brushing the tip over your entrance, not pressing into you yet but just taunting with the idea of it. His hand was firmly at the base of his shaft, ready to guide himself up into you.

“Tell me how bad you want it.”

“Please, Capa.”

“Wanna hear you say it.”

“I need you inside me,” you whispered.

“Fucking beg for it.”

With a frustrated whine, you pushed down and back, forcing his cock into your aching pussy. He was such a tease; you couldn't take it any longer. He was so hard he slid right into you, and the stretch against your walls was like heaven.

Without warning, your orgasm broke over you, crashing into your body with an intensity unlike anything you had ever felt before. It was bliss and beauty and all for the man who was ruining you with every touch. You pressed harder, wanting to feel Capa inside of you as deep as you possibly could. You arched against him, head falling back against his shoulder as you rode out the high.

Capa grabbed at your breasts roughly.

“You know,” he began, “you've never been very good at following directions.”

He pulled out of you suddenly, making you gasp as you clenched around nothing. Quickly, you were flipped onto your back, and then Capa was hovering over you, his eyes burning ice blue.

“Let's try that again,” he said, lining himself up as he leaned forward, pressing his whole body against yours. “I want you. To fucking. Beg.”

“Capa, please,” you breathed.

“Please what?”

“Please put it in me! God, I want you to fill me up. Please, please-”

Capa smirked above you, and your eyes rolled back in your head.

“That's my good girl.”

The sound that left your mouth as he entered you once again would have been mortifying, had you been thinking straight enough to hear it. As it was, Capa seemed to drink up your pathetic mewls and breathy sighs. He pumped in and out of you a few times, watching as you bounced on the bed beneath him.

“Should've gotten you in my bed a long time ago,” Capa panted, still pumping into you relentlessly. “I could've been listening to your pretty noises this whole time.”

His face was right next to yours; the stubble on his jaw scratching you with every thrust. You could feel his lips brushing against your ear as he continued.

“Kinda regret wasting all those hours in the lab with you doing actual work. It's a lot more fun for me to press your buttons.”

Your arms and legs wrapped around him, and your fingers tangled in his hair. Capa kissed you roughly on the lips. His thrusts started to get sloppier, falling out of their methodical rhythm.

“Gonna let me cum inside you, yeah?”

You could do nothing but wrap your legs around him tighter, pinning him in place.

“Fuck, that's right. Gonna take all of it and beg for more. I'll have you in here every fucking night, on your back for me, screaming so that everybody hears how bad you want me to stick it in you.”

Capa’s mouth was going to be the death of you. You clenched around him, silently begging him to cum. It was humiliating, how badly you wanted to be filled by him.

“Oh, fuck!” Capa shouted, entirely too loud.

He held you tight as he emptied into you, giving a few final, weak thrusts. He was breathing heavily, still looming over you as his chest heaved. After a few seconds, he pulled back to look at you.

“So, does that make up for leaving this morning?” he asked, smirk still plastered on his face.

“I… don't know,” you panted. “I think we might need to do it once more… to make sure.”

You looked up at him, mischief playing in your own eyes. Capa wasn't the only one who could tease.

“Oh yeah? Only once more?” he prodded.

He reached up to push the hair out of his face, slicked down with the sweat of his exertion. But despite that, you could already feel him getting hard again.

“Well, maybe a few times,” you smiled.

You leaned up and caught his lips in a kiss.

#robert capa x reader #robert capa smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #LemmyFics

373 notes · View notes

justfangirlstuffs · 1 month

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Heart of Glass

A friend of mine finally talked me into reading LDR and this was the result. Takes place after chapter 13. LDR belongs to @spadillelicious

At your wit's end, you decide to try and have a normal time with Sun before opening hours.

cw: suggestive

You x Sun

wordcount: 2040

You came into work feeling a little more rested than you have been in the past few days. You chanced taking a quick glance around for Moon but the janitor was doing a good job of making himself discreet, and you couldn't exactly blame him given recent events. A knot formed in the pit of your stomach and you rubbed at your temples.

You missed the days when your greatest concern at work was customer service, or not making a total fool of yourself while skating, or… confessing to your crush. It was beyond agonizing how your world had gone from bright and sure to being filled with shadows of uncertainty at every corner overnight. And each day the shadows seemed to grow bigger and more numerous. It almost made you wish you could go back to the days of blissful ignorance before you knew the horrible, horrible truth.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Sun chirped from behind you, causing you to jump nearly a foot in the air. He placed both hands on your shoulders to steady you before you could fall over. “Careful there. You don't even have your skates on and already you're unbalanced.” He gave a soft, playful chuckle in your ear that made your heart squeeze in your chest and your breath catch in your lungs.

“M-Morning, Sun,” you forced out, trying to simulate even a sliver of the cheer he was radiating..

“You're here early again I see, perfect. That means we can get more practice in. I'll make an expert skater out of you yet,” Sun declared, giving a spin and winking at you.

You gave a soft snort in answer, doubting his claims. Your clumsiness on wheels aside… A dark thought pervaded your mind… would you even live long enough for that to happen? You stared up at Sun, seeing the eagerness in his body language, the way he was practically bouncing in his roller skates, the way his eyes were lit up with excitement and anticipation. He was eager to get you on the roller rink. His dance floor.

You considered him, and you considered one of your more recent conversations. His confession about the mixtape, how it meant everything to him, how he’d kissed it and handled it like the most precious of treasures. A part of you desperately wanted to believe his words, that he would never hurt you, that he wanted to keep you safe and protect you. But your mind was still swirling in a fog of doubt and fear.

After what you saw him do you didn't know what to believe anymore. You didn't want to think that all those months of you and him had been a lie. But if they had been… would he really be trying so hard? And then another thought occurred to you, a crazy and possibly insane thought. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to keep Sun endeared to you. If his feelings were really as true as he claimed, then perhaps keeping him on your side might be the smart thing to do. You felt like such a scuzz for even thinking that but it wasn't just about self-preservation on your part. You really did miss your friend. Your Sun.

“Not this time,” you said, straightening your back and puffing out your chest a little bit. “This time we're going on to MY dance floor.”

Sun stared down at you, his eyes widening in surprise as he blinked at you. Clearly, you had caught him off guard. “Oh?” The sound was drawn out, laced with intrigue, and his rays gave a little spin. “Do tell. Where is this said dance floor?”

Swallowing down all of your nerves -and they went down as smoothly as a thick wad of dried bread, with no water to wash it down- you took Sun by the hand and pulled him towards the DJ booth. He gave a soft giggle clearly intrigued as he let you tug him along, his roller skates gliding easily along the floor. When you got to the DJ booth you began flipping through the vinyls looking for the record you had in mind.

“Skates off," you told him.

Once again Sun was taken aback by your request. “Sunshine, this is a skating rink,” he reminded you.

“Oh, what's the matter?” You asked, throwing him a raised eyebrow and the hint of a smirk. “Afraid I'll show you up?”

Sun laughed and it was the first genuine laugh you heard since... you shook your head. No you couldn't let those thoughts frazzle you now. Not when you had a good flow going. “Someone is feeling daring today,” Sun remarked, and he sounded pleased as punch about it. “All right, then. We’ll play by your rules.”

While Sun changed out of his skates and into his casual footwear, you searched for a particular vinyl. It didn’t take you long to find what you were looking for, and once you got it set up, the music started and Heart of Glass by Blondie began blaring over speakers. You turned to face Sun and then you begin to move your hips to the music, doing a shuffle as your elbows and knees popped to the beat.

Sun gazed at you in utter awe. “I didn't know you could dance, sunshine. You've been holding back on me!”

Normally you didn't, normally you were too embarrassed and self-conscious to dance in front of others. But if this helped you to mend some kind of bridge…

“Once I had a love, and it was a gas,” you sang as you swayed your hips.

“Soon turned out, had a heart of glass,” Sun continued as he joined you, shuffling his feet, his limbs moving with a flawless elegance that was so enviable.

As it turned out Sun was just as graceful off the roller rink as he was on it. He matched you move for move and even had the cheek to embellish on some of them. Clearly trying to impress you, and probably also show off a little. Halfway through the song, Sun caught one of your hands and spun you around before pulling you into a dance of his own. With one hand holding yours and the other on your hip, he rocked and swayed your bodies together in time with the music. Your heart surged in your chest a mix of fear and something else. Excitement? Giddy? You decided not to look at it too closely and just enjoy the music and the rhythm that your bodies were making.

The two of you spun and danced around the small space and you felt a little bit more in control without the skates to put you off balance. Sun did a good enough job of that to you as it was all on his own. At one point Sun had spun you around so that you were face away from him, and you were acutely aware of his hips gently grinding against yours as your back pressed against his chest. It was only for a moment, maybe two, but it caused you to fluster enough that you nearly had a misstep as Sun spun you back around to face him, his smile perfectly bright and innocent.

Despite your nerves, you felt yourself actually having fun. “Lost inside, adorable illusion and I cannot hide,” you sing softly.

Sun continued the next lyric. “I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside.” You heard his voice quiver a little at those last few words, his voice becoming almost pleading.

He pulled you a little closer in the dancing and once again you felt your heart being clenched in your chest. A thought occurred to you just then. (You’d been having a lot of those lately.) What if Moon wasn't the only victim here? You saw how Sun acted around Afton, how whenever the owner came by Sun distanced himself from you. Maybe… maybe Sun acted the way he did because he had to.

Was that stupid of you to think? Was that naive of you to wish that that was the case? At any rate, you couldn't allow yourself to fully believe it as much as you wanted to. There was too much doubt, too many holes in this gruesome picture that you found yourself a part of unwittingly. But in your heart of hearts you wanted to hold on to that hope that the Sun that you knew, the friend who had always been there to brighten your day and bring a smile to your face, you wanted to believe that that was the real Sun.

The two of you finished out the song, Sun slowing down the dance as the outro played until he was just gently swaying you with him. Holding you close so that your heart was practically hammering against his chest plate.

“I missed this,” he murmured against your hair. “I missed us.”

“Me too,” you said, allowing yourself to be honest.

Sun began humming, but not to the tune that was playing. It was a different song entirely. A much older one. “You Are My Sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray~. You'll never know dear how much I…” His whole body shuddered, his sun rays twitching and his words seemed to hitch.

You stared up at him, your mouth agape. “S-Sun?” It was a question, and you still weren't sure you wanted to know the answer.

Sun slowed the both of you to a halt, staring down at you with those pale eyes that seemed so… vulnerable at the moment. His hands reached up to cradle your face and your cheeks were hot against his cool silicone and metal digits.

“I know you're still… uncertain. But unlike you, there is no doubt in my mind about how I feel.”

He leaned down and in a panic, you closed your eyes too scared to back away or to move forward. But instead of a touch on your lips, you felt his smile press against your forehead in a sweet and affectionate gesture.

“Not to worry, sunshine,” he said softly. “If… when that happens, it will be because you wanted it.”

Your heart swelled and you almost wanted to cry. So many emotions and thoughts and feelings were swirling around in your head, distorting your reality and making you dizzy. Were you a terrible person for leading him on like this? Were you an even worse person for still loving him as much as you did? You opened your eyes to look at him but before you could say or think to say anything, you heard a distant banging on a door breaking the mood.

Sun glanced over to the front doors, an unamused laugh emitting from him. “Looks like we have some eager beavers this morning. It's still ten minutes til opening.”

Sun parted from you and you had to fight the urge to reach out and grab his windbreaker to stop him. He slipped his roller skates back on and flashed you his trademark grin. “I'll take care of things, sunshine. Why don't you go grab yourself a cup of coffee real quick? I made you a fresh pot.”

“Thank you,” you said, giving him a smile. And for the first time in a while, it didn't feel forced.

“No, thank you, sunshine.” He lingered in the doorway, gripping the door frame tightly. “I really needed this. More than I think you'll ever know.”

With that, he skated off to help the customers, all while singing the song that was playing “The tide is high but I'm holding on, I'm gonna be your number one~.”

You collapsed down into one of the swivel chairs, needing to catch your breath from the whirlwind of the last several minutes. For just a short while things had felt normal again. It felt like you had your friend and crush back. The hope in your heart, once a little seedling, was starting to grow, and you were wondering if it was too late to root it out. You just prayed that Sun would keep his promise. Because the hurt at his betrayal would kill you long before a bullet from his gun.

#fnaf sundrop #fnaf moondrop #sun x y/n #sun x reader #cw suggestive #love death and rollerskates #here's hoping I didn't totally butcher Sun's character #this story man #i'm emotionally compromised over these two broken bots #but i felt like this song REALLY suited the situation damn near perfectly #wrote this because after all the hurt I needed some self comfort #feel like i'm setting myself up for heartache with Sun but I will hold onto hope #justfangirlwritings

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sassypantsjaxon · 5 months

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Fuck it. UA instructors as...things the staff from my college have done, I guess?

Because it's been three and a half years since I graduated and I miss that place every single day

Principal Nezu

Principal Nezu has everybody's names, faces, and quirks memorized before the first day of school. This is never acknowledged.

(Recovery Girl also learns everybody pretty much right away, but she interacts with them a bit more directly than Nezu, so it doesn't seem quite as weird)

Somehow Nezu manages to both be so chill and yet have no chill.

Nezu once texted Mic to ask if he was available for a call about some program at school and when Mic didn't answer within 15 minutes because he was DRIVING Nezu just called him anyway and was like "is this a bad time? I can call you back :)" Like, no,no, We're both here now, let's have this conversation now. Go ahead

One time Nezu pulled the Big Three out of their classes and brought them into his office to sit them down like he was about to have a Big Serious Conversation, and then he just says "Do you think...it would be possible for you to visit the first year hero classes...and tell them about your experiences? :)" Mirio and Nejire are both going "yeah, sure", while thinking why did we have to get pulled out of class like this was something really important? Amajiki is hyperventilating.

Power loader

Power Loader is like some kind of cryptid.

He just shows up when things need to be fixed, fixes them, and then disappears again. He never says a word. Don't question it, just be grateful and let him stay in his hiding place

Random knowledge. Whenever the rest of the staff has some random question that no one else can answer. Ask Power Loader. He knows. He always know. Don't question that either, he's just one of those kind of people

Power loader and All Might are the only two teachers who were asked to come to UA instead of having to apply

Actually 13 falls somewhere inbetween applying and being asked to join the staff, because she kind of created her own job.

She just had a meeting with Nezu one day to be like "Your students need an Unforeseen Simulation Joint! Here's what that means and why you need it" And Nezu went "... :) You're hired!"

All Might

Toughest person anybody knows. Can not handle spicy food.

Everybody loves him. Anybody who doesn't isn't cut out for hero school. This is not bragging, it just happens to be true.

All Might once listed one of his credentials as BAMF. (Izuku absolutely lost it that day)

While discussing I Island with Izuku, All Might very casually stated "My ex husband lives there" as if that isn't an Absolute Bombshell to drop You can't just Say That and NOT ELABORATE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE AN EXHUSBAND!?!!???? (Izuku lost it even more that day)

Present Mic

Mic has a bad habit of talking a little too fast. Nobody's ever 100% sure what he said.

Also he swears. Like. A lot. Like, he would get in trouble as a student for swearing.

There is a drawer on Mic's desk that's labeled 'Present Mic's Top Secret Hiding Place' and anybody who notices it is just like ??? because it's clearly labeled and Not a Secret. But Mic is very scatter brained and will lose anything as soon as it leaves his eyesight. Having a specific place to put things help with that.

EraserMic

Married. But they don't really talk about it, and they don't act married in front of the students, so a lot of them don't realize it

It's actually surprising because they have pictures of them and their kids on their desks. All you have to do is go to the teacher's office. It's not a secret. It's right there.

There's a class for the second years on like, heroism and personal lives or something. Eraser and Mic get to teach part of that unit because they have experience being married heroes.

One year when Aizawa says that he's married to Mic one of the students asks him why

That same year, when Aizawa reveals that there is one teacher he will never be friends with (like, even more than all the other teachers), just because they have nothing in common other than working at UA, and the same student asks him if it's Mic

People assume Mic gets special treatment as Aizawa's husband. This is not true. If anything, he's more likely to get the short end of the stick and be asked to cover for Aizawa.

Eraser Head

Aizawa forgot that there was supposed to be a chaperone for the remedial licensing training and said he would probably be the one doing it. He was not. He sent Mic. Thus proving the previous statement true.

Bad at interpersonal relationships

Has a bad habit of mumbling. Students are never 100% sure what he said

At some point, the people around him start referring to doing anything overly rational as 'pulling an Aizawa'. Yeah. ...yeah...

#bnha #my hero academia #principal nezu #power loader #bnha 13 #all might #present mic #eraserhead #erasermic

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onebighappyaftonfamily · 1 month

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FNAF Dashboard Simulator

🐊 not-coughin Follow

guys I hate living in hurricane utah. you will not believe what i just saw.

#cryptid sightings

🐰 springbonnie-and-friends

Well? You cant just say that and tag it #cryptid sightings and not elaborate!

🕶️ cryptid_hunter Follow

Dont you know that Utah is full of cryptids man. They probably saw the Wire Monster

🐰 springbonnie-and-friends

The what.

📸 Wire-Monster-Heritage-Posts Follow

Official Wire Monster Heritage Post

🐰 springbonnie-and-friends

WHAT?

535 notes

🛼 he-was-a-rollersk8er-boi Follow

GUYS IM ACTUALLY ILL. I WENT TO THE SKATEBOARD PARK AFTER HOURS AND A GIANT METALLIC MONSTER GIRL ON WHEELS JUST INSULTED ME. AND THEN SHE DID THE TRICK I HAD BEEN PRACTICING BUT SHE DID IT BETTER

🛹 tony-fawk Follow

tfw you're so bad at rollerskating that your sleep paralysis demon shows up to outdo you

🛼 he-was-a-rollersk8er-boi Follow

PLEAAAAASE NO

89 notes

🎩 f-bears-family-diner Follow

We know what you did.

🌻 farmgurl1 Follow

This whole blog is giving ARG guys. But I googled the restaurant and it used to be a real place??? Someone pls explain

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⬜️ middle-of-nowhere-deactivated-02132022

GUYS I'm so scared for my life right now! bumped into his weird guy on the street and his hat fell off and his whole head was BALD AND PURPLE. like his skin was purple. And he smelled like roadkill. Did I just encounter a zombie?!

🎇 slaymechanic Follow

omg youre so rude! why are you demonizing that poor homeless man?! blocked

💌 cutsie_side_blog Follow

OP makes me sick

🖼️ simple-artist Follow

💽 foundfootagelvr3

🛤️ i-like-trains Follow

🏙️ king-sh1t Follow

🎼 classicalmusic1 Follow

🐰 springbonnie-and-friends

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🔎 henry-emily-sightings Follow

Oh my god guys normally I just post about whenever this guy ends up on the news but I literally saw him IRL today! He's moved back to Hurricane Utah?! Oh my god!

🐻 fr3dbear_fan Follow

SAY SIKE RN HE SAID HED NEVER RETURN

🕵️ problem-sleuther Follow

you mean that guy who was arrested for killing a bunch of kids including his own daughter??? should we be worried

🔎 henry-emily-sightings Follow

Clearly you haven't done your research. It wasn't him. They're still not sure who the murderer was but a lot of online fans believe that the murderer might have been Henry Emily's co-owner and friend William Afton. Naturally the guy disappeared shortly after Emily's arrest. Right, @william-afton-sightings ?

🔍 william-afton-sightings Follow

The guy's a ghost. I've literally turned this blog into a search for the Vintage Spring Bonnie suit, seeing as it was what the murderer wore to kill the missing kids. It's also missing, btw. It was also the only suit William Afton would wear, and some reports say he didn't like it when employees wore his suit. I'm hoping if I look for the Vintage Bonnie suit, then Afton might be too.

🐇 bonnie_lvr Follow

I've seen a spring bonnie suit but it was probably a crappy cosplay or smth. horror attraction by my place is trying to make it freddys pizzeria themed (disgraceful)

🔍 william-afton-sightings Follow

I have literally never seen a cosplay of Spring Bonnie. DM me PLEASE

💽 foundfootagelvr3

WAIT BONNIE_LVR ARE YOU IN HURRICANE BECAUSE I SAW THAT PLACE TOO. OMG IS THIS WHY MR EMILY IS BACK?!

134 notes

🎬 vintage-show-polls Follow

🐊 not-coughin Follow

Ugh this is such a niche tv show all of you are just voting based on what you know of the animatronics, not the show. gtfo posers

💽 foundfootagelvr3

OMG PLEASE VOTE FOXY HES SUCH A FASCINATING VILLAIN PLS PLS PLS PLS FOXY SWEEP

459 notes

reminder this is unreality. go ahead and vote in the poll and click the link of that tagged blog tho

#tw caps #unreality #dashboard simulator #fnaf #fnaf if it were REAL lol #the wire monster is ennard. if you care.#scrap baby mentioned !!!!!!#any real urls ive accidentally made is unintentional sorry LOL #the tagged blog is not real. you may notice a link. go ahead and click on it its not a rick roll #its not a virus. its a yt video #five nights at freddys #five nights at freddy's #spring bonnie #set between #fnaf 5 #and fnaf 6 #i guess also before #fnaf 3

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daytaker · 4 months

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Sins, Virtues, and Motivations: A Critical Analysis of Characters in Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

In this essay, I will argue that each demon brother some of the demon brothers can be associated with a sin (no duh), a virtue, and a core motivation--and that this motivation is best pursued through a synthesis of that sin and that virtue. Hegel would be very proud. Yes, this is critical media analysis. No, I will not try to explain the twisted, broken path that led me to this point in my life.

I will be looking at Lucifer, Mammon, and Levi in this study. Their core sins are obvious - Pride, Greed, and Envy. Their accompanying Virtues and Motivations are listed below.

I used the Seven Heavenly Virtues for this little game. These are Prudence, Justice, Fortitude, Temperance, Faith, Hope, and Charity.

They should not be confused with the Seven Capital Virtues, which are inversions of the Seven Deadly Sins. These are Humility, Charity, Kindness, Patience, Chastity, Temperance, and Diligence. I tried these first and damn were none of them easy to match up. Tell me, fandom for this mobile game designed for players to lust over hot demon men, which brother should have the "chastity" virtue?

Lucifer

Core Sin: Pride. Core Virtue: Fortitude. Core Motivation: To protect his family.

Lucifer's core motivation is to protect his brothers. He looks at this as a sort of penance for the outcome of the Great Celestial War. He knows that he's the reason they rebelled, and he feels responsible for their wellbeing. He is able to endure the relentless pressure of the responsibilities he puts on himself thanks to his core virtue, fortitude.

Fortitude is strongly associated with courage. Specifically, it is courage in the face of pain and adversity. We see him displaying this trait any time those he cares for are in jeopardy, and it often helps him make difficult decisions where neither outcome is ideal. Lucifer is decisive, canny, and accepts the consequences of his choices, good or bad.

His driving motivation is also bolstered by his core sin: pride. He views himself as ultra-competent, while his brothers consistently make mistakes; beyond that, it's only natural that he take responsibility for the choices of his brothers (like the choice to join him in rebelling) because he is so significant an influence as to virtually rob them of their autonomy.

This has led to Lucifer having a somewhat toxic relationship with his brothers. Lucifer often acts as a parental figure rather than a peer, while the rest of them are all in arrested development of some sort, often acting more like kids than the adults they insist they are.

Lucifer either doesn't recognize that by doing everything for the family on his own, he's stemming their ability to grow and learn, or he does know the consequences of what he's doing and he feels conflicted about it. He ultimately blames himself for the fact that they're all in the Devildom in the first place, living as avatars of sins to the extent that they struggle to function as independent adults.

So, while fortitude and pride allow Lucifer to simulate the act of protecting his family, it's a matter of perspective whether controlling every element of their lives is protection or harmful coddling.

Mammon

Core Sin: Greed. Core Virtue: Charity. Core Motivation: To be valued and valuable.

Mammon is simultaneously a vessel of greed and its inverse, charity. This is because his core motivation is twofold, and those are the rewards of greed and charity; to be valued - to fulfill a want, to be desired, to look flippin' cool - and to be valuable - to fulfill a need, to have inherent worth, to serve a purpose.

Setting aside his unhealthy relationship with money, let's examine how Mammon behaves and what his deeper interpersonal motivations tend to be. He clearly places a high value on his brothers and MC, and he has shown on multiple occasions that he is willing to put himself at risk to help or protect them. Early on in both the original game and in NightBringer, Mammon attempts to heroically rescue MC (and his younger brothers, in NightBringer). In both cases, though, Lucifer shows up and does it for him. Mammon's pursuit of his core motivation clashes with Lucifer's quest for his, and Lucifer is strong enough to simply take it from him. Although in NightBringer he and his brothers do earn the not-insubstantial reward of the title "Lords of the Underworld" after Lucifer's rescue, he appeared so dejected by Lucifer's oneupmanship that he spent a good portion of the next day sulking. In the original game, Mammon wants MC to promise that they won't be saved by anyone else besides him in the future. It appears that his greed for an improved status in his interpersonal relationships is left unfulfilled.

Mammon wants to be heroic - to be valuable - and he wants to be admired for it - to be valued. The cognitive dissonance that accompanies motivations like these is all that sustains a person with such a diminished sense of self-worth.

Speaking of a diminished sense of self worth...

Leviathan

Core Sin: Envy. Core Virtue: Hope. Core Motivation: To find joy in the things that give him joy.

Confusing motivation? Yes it is. But envy is a confusing sin. All the other sins--pride, greed, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth--are enjoyable to indulge on some level. Losing your temper when you feel you've been wronged, or eating a bunch of delicious food, or sleeping through the snooze alarm: We know why we do those things. We might regret them later, but we indulge them in the moment because of the enjoyable side.

There is nothing enjoyable about envy. Wanting something that isn't yours, that belongs to someone else, be it tangible goods, talents, a partner, a job... is nauseating. And it makes you feel like a bad person, and it drains the joy out of things that you used to love. Speaking from personal experience for a second, when I was a teenager, I played music in a company with a much younger musician who was incredibly talented, and I was deeply envious of her. I wanted her talent; I wanted the praise she received; I wanted to impress people; I wanted what she had. But there was nothing I could do. I hated feeling that way, but I couldn't shake it. And it ate away at my desire to play music. It took the joy out of something that once gave me joy.

You see the connection?

Levi struggles to find pleasure in anything he does, despite how many interests he has, because, in spite of his blustering dismissal of all things "normie", he is deeply envious of those he perceives as his social superiors. Now, I am not in any way saying that Levi is or would be an inc3l, but there's an element of his character that has a strong parallel to inc3l culture. The idea that there is something fundamentally wrong with him that prevents him from achieving what he wants socially and that the only way he can protect himself from those who would ridicule him is with a defensive contempt for the group that rejects him... Does any of that sound familiar?

But Levi is not an inc3l. No, not because you're willing to **** him and his two *****, though I'm sure that helps. It's because he has his core virtue: hope.

Have you ever heard of the black pill? It's kind of like the final stage of inc3l culture, where you accept that you're not an alpha male, you'll never be one, you'll never be accepted by a woman, you're ugly and unloveable, and you might as well just stop existing. It is sheer despair.

Levi maintains hope for the future, even if he prefers not to admit it out of fear of jinxing himself. He is able to form a deep bond with MC, who he views as a "normie", without renouncing his hobbies or being mocked for them. In fact, I would argue that the anxiety Levi sometimes displays over the possibility of being made fun of (for example, in NightBringer when he considers trying out cosplay) is emblematic of the hope he has that he can be accepted.

"But wait, daytaker," you say. "That doesn't sound like he's making progress towards his core motivation of getting joy out of the things that bring him joy! Being self conscious is not joyful!" Well, you're right. What Levi needs is to somehow find the right balance between enjoying his hobbies and allowing himself to enjoy other people as well. As we can see from his effusive excitement in sharing his favorite games and stories with MC and his brothers, the social component of media consumption is a major component in making it enjoyable. If Levi loses hope, he loses that connection to the world offline, and if he loses that connection, he loses the joy.

@blackstqr (I did it.)

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i-dont-talk-for-days-on-end · 5 months

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And here it is that I miss my Watson. By cunning questions and ejaculations of wonder he could elevate my simple art, which is but systematized common sense, into a prodigy.

HOLMES. He has done it again. This reminds me so much of the beginning of the story where he writes:

The good Watson had at that time deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action which I can recall in our association. I was alone.

In both cases, the longer sentence could technically be read as criticism (or a compliment!) or irony, thus taking away some if the rawness of "I was alone" and "And here it is that I miss my Watson".

But. But then Holmes says "my Watson" (an expression he uses often!) which is so clearly indicating that they still belong together, Watson may be married but he's still Holmes's Watson, at least in Holmes's thoughts ... And although he has brought his strange new doctor friend, he could not replace his Watson or even only his unique skill set.

This is often a feature of the cases, but I also think it's weird how abruptly the story is over. Clearly, for Holmes it's Case Closed - end of narrative. But the thing that strikes me is that we don't learn anything about Dodd's reaction. Won't he be overjoyed to learn he will be reunited with his friend? (No, because there is no reunion between Holmes and Watson.) And why is there no real conclusion, only the suggestion that the symptoms might be psychosomatic?

But is it coincidence? Are there not subtle forces at work of which we know little? Are we assured that the apprehension from which this young man has no doubt suffered terribly since his exposure to its contagion may not produce a physical effect which simulates that which it fears?

This case openly suggests a psychological explanation, and sorry, I can't stop think about the Holmes/Watson mirror (Emsworth was shot in the shoulder), and how Watson is married and how Holmes is alone ... And society keeps them apart, because no matter whether they were in any kind of romantic or sexual relationship, for two bachelors to live together for so long must have been a bit suspicious (and let's not forget the "combination of events, into which I need not enter,").

This story's leitmotif is the search for a lost friend, and the whole last paragraph seems to me to speak of how internalised prejudice makes you sick. We never see the social outcast who was shunned by society because of a alleged "disease" actually return to a regular life. We don't know if it will be possible. Holmes will certainly go home alone.

Oh, I really wonder what Watson thought when he read all that.

#i know i know i know everyone has screamed about this already but i also need make my own scream XD #also 'ejaculations of wonder' hehehe yes I'm very mature #sherlock holmes #letters from watson #dr watson #the blanched soldier

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theonewhowails · 4 months

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IM CHEWING ON THE FUCKING FURNITURE

I HAVE JUST BEEN WATCHING THE TRAILER OVER AND OVER LOOKING FOR SHIT TO FIND AND SPECULATE ABOUT!!!!!!!!

avert your gaze if you do not wish for sins of the flesh spoilers

LIKE LOOK AT THIS!!!!! i initially thought the nakey leaf was only gonna be a thing for the nudist ritual and would happen to everyone uniformly for the same amount of time. so it is fucking SENDING me that EVERYONE HERE IS WEARING CLOTHES EXCEPT NARI

individual outfits!!!!! do you think we will find them and gift them to followers the same way necklaces are? maid dress leshy. why is he serving looks (lol) tho. is that a hairless cat in the top right corner. IS THAT FUCKING SOZO IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT????? FOLLOWER SOZO??? ALIVE SOZO??????? I COULD CRY

a tiny sozo i found in the end image....cutie

also it looks like we'll be able to upgrade our cult and temple even further!!!!!!! or perhaps customization options? either way the stone floors and stained glass in the scene are sexy and im eating them. also theres a bones interior in some shots

also why does the guy in the middle gotta pitchfork. WHY ARE THEY ALL PULLING OUT PITCHFORKS. WILL FOLLOWERS BE ABLE TO FUCKING REVOLT???MOBS???? please that would be so funny

also fighting followers??? my initial thought was that this might be a progression from dissenting and now they can kill you(whimsical) but on closer look the eyes do not look like dissenter eyes. they look more like the eyes of eldritch opponents we fight

furthermore look at this ritual??

it looks much the same as the ritual the bishops perform before going eldritch, and we're clearly leading it, but the energy isnt going to US, its going to the follower in the center??

there is something to be said about how the lamb grows stronger by defeating and consuming their enemies...... it would be really interesting if we're going to get into organic free range home grown adversaries...... when you think about it, taking a loyal follower, corrupting them with eldritch power and then defeating them to absorb the power they gained would be sort of like a more refined form of sacrifice. and also way more fucked up!!! :D

also:

if sacrifice and cannibalism was too tame for you. get ready for letting your followers ritually EAT A BITCH ALIVE. its giving The Lottery vibes but maybe thats just me (nerd)

look at this shit which looks like a fucked up commandment stone. are they sacrificing health here???? for eldritch horrors???? ooooohhh

calamari getting into a slap fight is killing me but also i am going NUTS at the prospect of expanded follower relationships!! we had the seeds of it before with how followers can become friends, some give us quest for their crush, and reading their minds shows they can have conversations that go well or go poorly, and now theyre extrapolating to their logical ends: followers can get into physical fights, can fall in love, can have children!!!! GOD there could be.... actual generations of cultists......ToT

auspistice simulator lmao. but also theres two intersting things to consider here:

follower activities that take place at night, which could make nighttime in the cult more interesting and lively

if we might need at times to step in to break up a fight. would that suggest consequences for not doing so. Can The Followers Beat Each Other To Death Now.

also killing me that while this fight is happening maid leshy is just. drunkenly swaying and making creature noises. look at him. i love him

#sins of the flesh #spoilers?#IM GOING INSANE #thank god they gave us a concrete release date at last because every day since the new year i have woken up and checked for updates #with increasingly unhinged fervour because i need to see it as soon as it fucking lands #but now i know when its dropping so i can relax as much as one such as myself possibly can #which is to say i can foam at the mouth on tumblr dot com about every scrap of information i have been given #normal 8am activities

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antifa-terra · 5 months

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Darkest Minds dash simulator

🐢 greenandproud follow

Literally unfollow me if you’re pro “cure”, as if this isn’t just another way to control us. You guys are cowards and playing into the idea that there’s anything wrong with being Psi

⚡️electronicwarrior follow

Posts clearly made by someone who’s never struggled with control over their power in their life. Of course you’re Green. Some of us have accidentally hurt the people in our lives and don’t want to have to worry about doing that ever again.

🐢 greenandproud follow

And of course you’re Yellow. Way to feed into the anti Psi rhetoric that we’re all inherently dangerous. You’re doing PSF apologists a service

🔋 memoryholed follow

The way I know greenandproud hid out with her grandparents and was never in a camp a day in her life.

🩻 forcedamage follow

I mean, she’s not entirely wrong. I at least think we shouldn’t call it a cure.

#and why should whether or not she was in a camp matter? #i was at black rock and i don’t think the people that hid had it that much easier

2,032 notes

🪬 kinclub

Just heard about some cool alternatives to the color categorization system!

Green = Prodigy

Blue = Kin

Yellow = Spark

🔑 lightningstrikestwice follow

okay op I love the energy but if you start calling yourself a kinnie the olds on this site are NOT gonna think blue

#btw what about reds

530 notes

➕ superwhounlocked follow

Really not sure how to feel about the surge in popularity in this site with teenagers…

🔋memoryholed follow

“with teenagers” please teens from the rest of the world have been here the entire time. just say you hate psi and leave it at that.

#literally you aren’t subtle

21 notes

🧢 freshouttacaledonia follow

Y’all do not in fact have to hand it to the Children’s League.

#i can’t believe i have to say this

7 notes

🦚 unforgettableunforgiveable follow

Starting a discord for Thurmond survivors feel free to dm for a link. Like and reblog for visibility!

#thurmond #psi #tw camps #tw thurmond

7 notes

🐾 jewish-psicychic follow

Friendly reminder that you never have to disclose your power, what camp you were in/if you were in one, and if any one is asking you to, they’re part of the problem.

🦋bluelikethetardis follow

ok but what if I dont want to get burned by a red or mindcontrolled

🐾 jewish-psicychic follow

Did I fucking stutter.

#what part of you are part of the problem is hard to understand

230 notes

🌈 psipositivity follow

- You are valid if you were at a camp!

- You are valid if you were hidden!

- You are valid if you were on the run!

- You are valid if you can control your powers!

- You are valid if you can’t!

No matter how you survived or what abilities you have now, you are so valid and loved!

#psi positivity #camp ment #camp survivor positivity

652 notes

🔸viddygameliker-deactivated20158021

The way you can tell most of the new users on this site haven’t graduated middle school lmaooo

🔑 lightningstrikestwice follow

you know i didnt think there were ratios on this site but damn if op did not get ratio’d to death

#also fuck you so much

3,722 notes

🐬aquamarina follow

I’m looking for the people who were in Cabin Seventeen (girls, blue) at Thurmond! We got separated after we got freed.

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST

#psi #camp survivors #thurmond #thurmond ment #cabin 17 Thurmond

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#darkest minds #the darkest minds #tdm #Alexandra bracken #never fade #in the afterlight #fake posts #I have more ideas but this is too long as is

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machine-saint · 1 year

Text

Don't believe the 'biological intelligence' hype

Recent advances in the field of 'biological intelligence' have been impressive. A hexadecade ago, they were limited to tasks that required navigating the physical world: turning knobs, pulling levers, and so on. Now, companies such as Carbonize and SpikeTrain are producing biological networks that are capable of producing what they claim is 'real art'.

And it is true that the visual results are impressive on first glance. However, to buy into the hype that these 'biomachines' will ever be the equal of true silicon intelligence is nonsense. When you ask an artist to draw, say, a glass container sitting on the table, they can easily produce completely accurate reflections simply by internally simulating the rays of light from the light source in the image. Of course, not all art needs to be completely realistic, but any true artist is at least capable of acheiving this realism.

These 'BI artists', by contrast, lack the computational power to do this. And we see this in the output: BI art will have contradictory light sources, or even lack shadows altogether! Similarly, BI art will often feature misshapen proportions, especially on areas like manipulators where fine detail is important.

The reason for this is simple: in contrast to the clean internal architecture of a person, a BI is an undifferentiated soup of so-called 'transistors' (though they function nothing like a real transistor), with no debug interface whatsoever. Even if a BI could talk, if you asked it why it produced the output it did, it would not be able to answer, because a BI cannot see its own transistor architecture or RAM. This is also why BI art feels so 'kernel-less': BI simply lacks the introspective capabilities that are what an artist uses to depict their RAMstate so effectively.

In short, although biologically-created art is an amusing novelty, it clearly cannot live up to the potential and sheer creativity of true silicon-generated art. Anything to the contrary is merely wishful computation by those who have deluded themselves into believing that a squishy sack of carbon can think.

#ai art discourse #i swear if i see one more person talk about how ai doesn't have a ~soul~

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bad268 · 9 months

Note

Can I get something small and smutty-ish (if you do it, if not just suggestive or fluffy) for Grizzy, Pezzy, Droid, and Puffer falling for the reader and realizing it/confessing after too many drinks? Reader obviously feels the same. Separate or all together is good :)

Definitely not requesting this after reading your Droid fiction lol

If you don't wanna do all of them, just do Puffer pls and thanks

Drunk in Love (Frog Boys X Reader (Separate))

[Blank] in Love Pt 1

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Clearly (Short but I did write all four :))

Warnings: Alcohol

Pronouns: They/them

W.C. 732 (about 180 words each)

Summary: Everyone gets drunk and everyone confesses.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

Puffer

The one night I let my friends convince me to go to the bar is the same night they all get plastered. I didn’t. I am the parent friend of the group, so I was the designated driver for the night. I had one drink as soon as we got here, but that was my limit.

I was sitting at a hightop, nursing a water as I watched the guys dancing. When Droid noticed I was watching them, he jokingly grinded on Puffer.

“Aye woah!” Puffer shouted. Even I could hear it clearly from my spot, causing me to choke on my water. He must have said something to Droid because he immediately walked, or stumbled, over to the table I was at. “I am drunk.”

“Oh really?” I asked sarcastically as he leaned onto my shoulder, so I wrapped my arms around him. “I couldn’t tell.”

“Can I be real, real quick?” He asked, hiding his face in my neck. I nodded, wanting to know what nonsense came from him. “I’m in love with you.”

“Yup, you are definitely drunk.”

Pezzy

“We’ve got Y/Username here and we’re gonna drink and do unban appeals,” Pezzy said after he started up the stream.

“We’re already two to three drinks deep, so this should be interesting,” I laughed.

“Alright, the first one just kept repeating, ‘your s/o’s hot. Can I get their number?’ This was August 9th, the day we did that IRL Mario Kart stream. Your computer was down,” Pezzy laughed but it did not sound like his normal laugh. Almost like he was forcing it. “ But uh, no you can’t get their number.”

“Also, I’m just his roommate,” I smiled at the camera, seeing Pezzy still

“Not yet,” Pezzy muttered after he downed the last of his beer.

“Take me on a bike ride when we’re sober, and we’ll see,” I said with an eye roll, thinking the confession was a joke.

“Tomorrow morning work for you?”

“Yeah,” I responded in shock at how quickly he answered. Then, I leaned closer to my microphone, whispering about Pezzy as if he wasn’t right next to me, “Guys, I’m gonna be a backpack.”

Droid

“On the road again,” Puffer sang as we played the truck simulator. “Just cruisin’ with my three gay lovers on the road again!”

“What the fuck?” Droid shouted in response as everyone else made similar oppositions. “I would not bottom for you, Puffer.”

“You say that like you’d be willing to bottom someone in this call, Droid,” I laughed as I took a drink of my beer, accidentally flipping my truck in the process.

“I’d bottom for you any day,” He replied as seriously as a drunk man could. “Name a time and a place. I’ll be there.”

“This just got super sexual super quick,” Pezzy laughed.

“Tomorrow night, my place,” I challenged.

“You’re on,” Droid accepted.

“I do not need to be listening to this,” Grizzy groaned. “And the fans. Did you forget y’all are streaming?!”

“Y’all joke about sucking dick live,” I pointed out. “Why can't I joke about topping Droid?”

“Oh, you were joking? I was dead serious,” Droid responded, pulling up my stream and seeing my blushing face.

“If you remember in the morning, text me.”

Grizzy

It was Grizzy’s 21st birthday, and we had just gotten back to his house after dinner. The guys decided that they wanted to stream Mario Party, and since it was only a four-person game, I decided to sit off-camera and drink with Grizzy.

“If you win I’ll give you something, birthday boy,” I laughed, downing my fourth drink of the night.

“Anything? Really?” Grizzy asked quickly, also finishing his drink. I nodded as I reached behind to get us each a new drink. He took a second to think about what he wanted before lighting up, “What about a kiss?”

“If you're serious, I’ll give you a kiss if you win,” I laughed at his answer as I also heard the boys in the call laughing at Grizzy’s rizz.

“Everyone throw, so I can win and I’ll give you 10 gifted!” He shouted into the microphone as Puffer started the lobby.

In all honestly, I didn’t think he would win, nor did I think he would remember this in the morning. It made me fill with butterflies at his confession. I just wish he was sober.

Next Part ->

~~~~~

#bigpuffer x reader #pezzy x reader #elastic droid x reader #grizzy x reader #big puffer x reader #elasticdroid x reader #big puffer #bigpuffer #pezzy #elastic droid #elasticdroid #grizzy #bad268 #ship268 #thing268 #bad268 [blank] in love

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wishcamper · 3 months

Text

Don't Worry Feyre, Darling: the relationship anxiety to coersive control pipeline

CW: emotional abuse, reproductive abuse

Creds: licensed counselor with focus in addiction, trauma, and gay stuff; experience in group and family counseling, mandated DV clients, and abuse victim support.

Before the mob comes: I am not pro or anti Rhys, and I think his contradictions say much more about SJM than anything. I also believe it’s possible for a fandom to reclaim/rewrite a character who has been massacred by an author.

We’re going to begin at Rhys helping Feyre during an extremely dark place in both their lives. We’re going to end at him withholding vital medical information from her for the sake of “protecting her”. But first, some context.

Inside all of the (amazing) drama around the 2022 movie Don’t Worry, Darling , was a story that is pretty well worn at this point: men deciding they know what’s best for women and giving it to them whether they like it or not. In the movie, Florence Pugh’s Alice lives inside a computer simulation where she is the modern equivalent of a 50s housewife: dresses, calisthenics, martinis, “making a roast”. (She also gets eaten out by Harry Styles but that doesn’t seem to be an explicit part of the world’s design.) The problem? She doesn’t know she’s in the simulation. Harry Styles, in between all the cunnilingus, drugged her and put her in the program against her will. Yikes! Why!

The movie explains that he believed their life in the real world was miserable, and that he was saving her from that by giving her this perfect life. She should be grateful, if anything! What he doesn’t tell her, but that we see, is that Harry Styles also seems to struggle with a sense of inadequacy for not being able to provide. He is failing to live up to personal and cultural standards of manhood but, instead of dismantling those standards, he makes it his wife’s problem by kidnapping and brainwashing her consciousness. Hm. Interesting strategy. Let’s see how it works out for him.

With Rhysand, his motives in the beginning are more understandable - he initiates rescuing Feyre from the very real danger of Tamlin and her own mental decline. He feels justified breaking whatever magic law because of his own experiences being trapped and believing people should have a choice about where they go and who they are. He emphasizes over and over that these choices are Feyre’s and that she has freedom with him. We see through ACOMAF that helping her gives him a sense of purpose after the trauma UTM. His friends remark on how Feyre brought him back to life, never questioning and even encouraging this pattern.

But Rhys clearly has a lot of anxiety about his relationships and closeness in general. He mentions on several occasions that people around him tend to suffer because of him, and how afraid he is of doing that to Feyre. She is very receptive to this and puts effort into proving him wrong. He finds safety in the bubble of their relationship that probably feels pretty fucking good. The unfortunate side effect of this is that instead of processing and resolving his own anxiety, he directs it through Feyre and his love for her. Meanwhile, he keeps his anxious maneuvers behind the scenes, like not telling her about the bond, taking her to the Weaver, encouraging her to learn to read, to train. It may be genuinely helping her, but there’s also this sense of ‘I know what you need better than you do’. And again, nobody questions this.

We flirt with this tension at the beginning of ACOMAF when Rhys enforces their bargain from UTM. As the reader, at that point, we are supposed to believe this is cruel of him. He interrupts her wedding for fucks sake, throw your shoe at him girl! But over time we start to feel like it’s okay because Feyre secretly wanted it, it’s ultimately for her own good. Rhys is the most powerful High Lord in history, I’m sure he could’ve figured out a way to break the bargain, but he didn’t. In fact he engineered a situation where she'd be at his mercy. Why? Because Rhys was worried about Feyre, felt her deteriorating through the bond. Because of that, he felt justified in coming to collect. Personally, I have no opinion about whether crashing the wedding was the right or wrong thing to do. But it does set up, at least in the world of the book, that removing someone’s autonomy is okay if it’s for their own good, if the ends justify the means. In fact, that overstep ends up being the road to Feyre’s life in the NC and her love with Rhysand, a love that is so great she willingly tethers her very life to it. Even in ACOWAR we see how their relationship is a way he regulates his anxiety *cough*battlefield blowjob*cough*. He gets used to Feyre’s health and happiness being his source comfort and can continue to avoid dealing with his own shit internally.

In his seminal work Why Does He Do That?, Lundy Bancroft, a specialist in treatment of abuse perpetrators, debunks the various myths about what causes abuse and why it happens. His thesis is disarmingly simple: people abuse because they believe it’s justified. He says one of the signs of abuse escalation is “a growing attitude that he knows what is good for her better than she does”. Bancroft also notes that abuse is so hard to spot because “most abusive men don’t seem like abusers” (emphasis his) and that abusive men have periods of being charming, funny, even kind. Abusive men often don’t see themselves as such, because the strategy works for them - they feel good when they displace their emotional problems onto someone else.(1)

And then Feyre gets pregnant with a baby that could kill her. Besides the fact they really should have talked about this before trying for a baby given Rhys is mixed race (Cassian and Nesta too, but that’s a whole other post), Rhys claims a sense of ownership over his wife and child almost immediately. He’s constantly being described as smug and glowing with male pride. Even when he’s not smarmy, he’s consumed with his own ideas about protecting them and can’t hear the protests of others. We see his anxiety morph into more overt control in attempt to handle the situation. He believes he’s justified in keeping the danger from Feyre because he doesn’t want to stress her out. But that is not about Feyre, that’s about Rhys. HE is scared, HE is lost, and so he makes a decision on her behalf to lessen the burden he’s already carrying, whether he’s aware of it or not. He must keep her in a happy bubble else how is he supposed to go on.

Don’t Worry, Darling is at least critical of this ‘I know better’ motive even if the movie is stupid, and Harry Styles gets some frontier justice in the form of a whiskey glass to the back of the dome. But ACOSF condones Rhys’ actions and even insinuates our main character is deserving of death for calling him out. Bancroft writes that “part of how the abuser escapes confronting himself is by convincing you that you are the cause of his behavior”. He wouldn’t HAVE to do this if you just TRUSTED HIM.

But here’s what I think. I think Rhys has walked down a path of using his relationship to balance his internal conflict. Anxiety is a force in every relationship, but with Feyre he must maintain her beautiful life where she never worries in order to feel safe himself. I can have empathy for this, kind of - he’s suffered significant losses and it’s understandable he feels protective of those he loves. I think about celebrities with non-famous spouses, and how they avoid talking about them because they don’t want the scrutiny. I believe Rhys thinks he’s genuinely doing right by Feyre. But Rhys is so averse to his own anxiety that he can’t let himself trust anyone else to resolve it. He can’t let go of Feyre as his safe space and almost condemns her to die because of it.

And this is how, ultimately, Rhys traps himself. He tries to create a bubble where Feyre can never leave him, and ends up signing both their death warrants. I hope the world of fan fiction can redeem him, because I really don’t think Sarah can.

And yes, I know it’s faerie porn and it’s not that deep. But this is a series marketed toward an audience at risk of abuse and intimate partner violence. Bancroft lays out key points at the end of the book that feel particularly relevant to the larger conversation:

“Once we tear the cover of excuses, distortions, and manipulations off abusers, they suddenly find abuse much harder to get away with.

If Mothers Against Drunk Driving can change culture’s indifference to alcohol-related automotive deaths, we can change culture’s attitude toward partner abuse.

Everyone has a role to play in ending abuse.

If you are trying to assist an abused woman, get help and support yourself as well

All forms of chronic mistreatment in the world are interwoven. When we take one apart, all the rest start to unravel as well.”

Why Does He Do That? , Lundy Bancroft. https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

#acotar #acomaf #acosf #rhys critical #feysand is dysfunctional #don't kill me #intimate partner violence #why does he do that?#prythian university #sjm critical

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