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weirdopponent · 1 year

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Today she is red. Glazed in impatient strokes of mine, a gift, red like cremation, like the still-living coals.

She bows her head, a lamb, and allows me to touch her face. She shakes, but is not flinching. "I don't have to do it like this."

Grace does not say anything. Grace pushes into my hands, till they curve under her jaw. Till I can feel the shape of her skull. Till I can time the pace of blood running through her heart. She knows it was a lie - no one else will be able to love her like this, as she is, as she will be.

I break her into pieces.

I dismantle her. I smash her with my open palm until she becomes a formless crumple, blood blooming slowly with each strike. Her dark hair I hack off with safety scissors like gravestones crumbling in bad weather. Her clothes I burn in the industrial furnace - nothing I can keep, so ash it all will be.

The rest is all artifice - I do not change her skin. I open it, step inside it, wearing it, I become her. I wear a too-tight sports bra that makes my ribs ache, each breath restrained against the form, precious. And with the right shirt - it almost looks like me. The memory of her lies crumpled at my feet, an unceremonious death. It hurts like nothing else could hurt, to outlive your daughter. But that's no problem of mine.

Today I am red. My nail polish is chipping, stains the cuticles like blood. Mother looks at me like it is blood, like Grace's body lies crumpled on my feet, instead of in the lines of mine. "I am the only way she could be."

#today she is red (wip)#wip wednesday #creative writing #writers on tumblr #originals #i think this is the last bit of this one im gonna post here #its almost done actually i think i just need to tighten it up a bit and finish a few more sections #i really wanna make a website to host my finished original stuff cause like #i know i COULD use ao3 but i dont rlly wanna abuse its policies too hard #not that they do anything about it 🙄#it would just be nicer to have my own place for my own work i guess #idk how to code tho i know the basics bc like #ofc i do.#but to do what i Want to do is like. it would take a lot of time and practice #i could...... like........ pay someone?#ANYWAYS.#idk if posting here 3xw is rlly sustainable cause i write so slow #and i dont really want to publish the whole thing HERE #we;ll see #actuallu i change my mind abt the community label its really brief violence lol

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ilostyou · 1 year

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my new car is a swiftie btw. it's midnight sky colored just for me

#it's black.#but it's called midnight sky!!!!! slay for me thank you #i was looking at the papers and was like lol ha #also might name it gracie bc the model starts w a g #we;ll see

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luyo-mi · 6 months

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my pookies

#you will have to pry these two from my cold dead fingers #I just wanna squish them so much I cant you guys #my babies frfr #anyways happy early halloween #have fun trick or treating dont get kidnapped #i kinda wanna draw jack and ruggie costumes but idk if ill have time eee ill have like what a day to do them #with my attention spam that is a big no #we ll see #ace trappola #deuce spade #twisted wonderland #i never know what to add to the pants like pants are simple but i dont wantt them to be simple but idk what to add #other than a belt #sad face

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sugajimin · 1 year

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yoongi playing piano/keyboard

bonus(handmade piano from jimin)

(cr: wings tour in seoul:namuspromised, prom party/seasons greetings 2018/bts countdown/comeback show/KBS 명견만리 :@/0613data)

#yoongi #min yoongi #bts #btsgif #userbangtan #suga #btsedit #myedit #mygifs #mycomp #yeah #next comp maybe weekend #idk we ll see

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danandfuckingjonlmao · 2 months

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PASSENGER PRINCESS????? YOUNGER BROTHER ENERGY????? FFS DAN AND PHIL GET OFF PHANNIE TWITTER STOP BEING CHRONICALLY ONLINE GO TOUCH GRASS THIS IS RIDICULOUS

#i have to believe it’s from phannie twitter #bc they aren’t allowed to come on here i decreed it 😓🤬🙈#but also every time i see yall posting about them having younger sibling older sibling energy i want to k*ll you just a little bit #i don’t care if it’s true it’s weird #and now look what you’ve done #are you happy #we are living in a hell of our own creation #dnp #phan #dan and phil #d&p #danandphilgames #yeet my deet #yeet my deenp

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heuffopla · 7 months

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In a wee bit of an art block, have a distressed clown!

#She's my fav :'] I hope we' ll get to see more of her actual personality later hfhf #She's just very stressed at the moment it's okay let's give her a minute #my art #tadc pomni #Pomni #the amazing digital circus #Tadc

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quarks-pussy · 7 months

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So I know we here at Startrekfandom love that "came back wrong but from the pov of the wrong" thing and apply it to many different characters and canon situations and I am far from trying to complain about it (I'm "came out wrong" trope myself so I was always gonna obsess over it) but having recently watched a very important episode (you'll know which one) for the first time I think there's a character who hits both tropes mentioned but llike, intertwined, opposite and subverted, and whom I wanna talk about.

Julian Bashir.

From his parents' pov he's "came out wrong but we got him help and he came back better" while from his own pov it's "came out 'insufficient', was destroyed for it, came back wrong and only later slowly came to terms with his new self tho never the process (justifiably so)" and it's heartbreaking because in a way, he's right! Jules Bashir died! His parents had an intellectually disabled child and decided to eugenics him! Julian is not the person he used to be and while I do love the person he is now, that doesn't bring back who he was! Part of me wishes we could've gotten to see Jules at least once and part of me hopes we never do because my heart would shatter.

This isn't a good comparison but nonetheless one I can't help drawing: it's giving similar vibes to anti-vaxxers. "I'd rather risk having a child who is dead than one who's autistic". Obviously this doesn't map over since Julian is still autistic and the procedure his parents subjected him to specifically targeted his intellectual disability and if any folks with id wanna comment on this I definitely recommend you listen to them over me, but it's a similarity I, as an autistic who has encountered anti-vaxxers again and again, can't help but point out. "Give me a normal child or give them death."

This may have been written about already but there needs to be stories about teenage Julian (after finding out and rediscovering who he was) practicing some good ol' recognition of the self through media. I need to hear about how he would encounter a story about someone who came back wrong (I'm gonna assume there's plenty of "wrong" pov stories floating around by the 24th century) and absolutely weep. I need to see Julian mourning Jules, taking years and years to process his feelings, experiencing guilt about how he, the imposter, didn't deserve to live Jules' life.

Came back wrong from the returned's pov but it wasn't an accident. It was done to you deliberately by the people who claim to love you. And now you are here, piloting the corpse of your predecessor.

Jules Bashir is dead. Long live Julian Bashir.

#i've called julian jules before simply as a normal nickname but i don't think i ever will again. not after this #and knowing that if it had been possible i would have probably gone the way jules did. knowing that at his age i would have gone willingly.#fuck dude i am literally actually crying literal tears irl right now this is not a joke #fuck!!!!!#julian bashir #jules bashir #doctor bashir i presume #came back wrong #star trek deep space nine #HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD!! HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD AND THEY KILLED HIM!!!!#i cannot stop crying i am literally crying and like not even just a little #i cannot... poor julian how the FUCK do you ever come to terms with something like that #and like... julian remembers. he has most if not all of jules' memories and also knows he was murdered simply for not being julian #like how did he cope #(im about to go off on a tangent that will contain censored names for the sake of not clogging those tags if you dont know who i mean hmu)#like this is literally the thing that fucked up j*ran so bad he went on a murder spree isn't it #he remembers the one who came before who was killed. very different circumstances of course esp since tr*ll are expected to replace one ano #another but he remembers this person he remembers BEING this person who was young and simply enjoying life and who died a sudden death and #he remembers the experience of that death as well and how it lead to his own creation. it's not remotely similar ofc but considering that #the only time we see t*rias in alpha canon is in julian's body... i need to lie down for a moment.#and jor*n couldn't cope! he couldn't! it was far too much and the weird thing is right now in this moment i GET it y'know?? like that's #so horrific. and i haven't watched any jo*an episode besides facets yet but do you think. do you think j*dzia told julian about all this an #he nodded along and kept composure and then when he was alone he broke down crying? like julian you're doing SO well ily you're coping and #you shouldn't have to obviously but you do nonetheless!! do you think julian still has something from jules? like i've heard there's a tedd #but i mean jules prolly didn't keep a diary he was a six year old with an intellectual disability it's pretty unlikely he could write but #does julian have drawings made by jules? i'd like to think so but honestly his parents probably threw them out. like they also moved so #sorry i'm just. many thoughts head full. ive stopped crying now but who knows for how long. also i'll have to tag this with my original tag #maybe i should've picked something less silly for when i make serious posts but like what am i gonna change my url as well? don't think so #original posts fresh from quark's pussy #and thats the tag limit folks it's been fun. i had to delete two other tags but my god. anyway. thinking about jules bashir forever & cryin

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springbon-t-art · 1 year

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Merry christmas and happy new year to everyone!

Thanks for everything you all have gave to me this year, the words, the support and everything else!!! I hope you enjoy the holidays and have a wonderful time the rest of this year and i´ll see you on the next one!

Bye for now :D

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST

#merry christmas #we made it to this point so we can keep going i guess XD #i´ll take a break until 2023 so see you soon! :3 #batim #crk #crob #cookie run #me #my sona/oc/???#THE BEAN #bendy #gingerbrave #my artwork #take care of yourselves #THANK YOU!!!#<3<3<3

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amyriadfthings · 3 months

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