#what do you mean they escaped from a history of their death!

[jasonsjrawings]

Average book of hours player experience

#jason originals #cultist simulator #book of hours #the lady afterwards #what do you mean they escaped from a history of their death! #what do you mean they ditched the mother of ants!

[i-cant-sing]

TIME TRAVELER AU PT 2

Original post/idea here. Part 1 is here. Part 3 is here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

I fucked up.

You thought as you sat on the bed, holding your head in your hands.

I fucked up so baaaaaad.

Not only have you healed Baldwin of his leprosy, forever changing history of the LEPER KING, but also managed to somehow be his bride. To make matters EVEN worse, you cant just up and leave right now because you dont know the disastrous effects it'll have on the future now that Baldwin wont die of leprosy, which means that the kingdom of Jerusalem wont fall to Salauddin and his muslim army and after that its just a domino effect.

You tried to view your options here.

I stay here, marry Baldwin and fuck up the fabric of time and space because how can someone from the future marry someone from the past? Wouldnt I cease to exist?

I leave, return to my time where authorities arrest me for fucking around with time- that is, if I even exist in the future now that I've altered history. Who knows if my ancestors survived/were born after this?

No. Neither option is good. I need to stay here and fix this. But in a way that i dont draw too much attention to myself so that im so insignificant that nobody remembers, let alone writes about me in the history books.

You were drawn out of your thoughts with someone knocking on your door. "Come in." You said, straightening yourself.

A couple of servants walked in, all women. "Princess Y/n." They all courtesied. "We've been sent here by his majesty to prepare you for dinner with him."

Princess? Ah yes. Only a couple of hours ago, Baldwin had proposed to you, I guess the concept of asking wasnt a thing here as he just slipped on the big beautiful ring on your finger.

You narrowed your eyes at them. "First of all, Im not a princess. You will address me as Y/n only. And secondly, Im not going to join him for dinner, so there's no need to prepare me" The maids all shared a look of confusion before the head servant spoke.

"But we cant address you as anything else until you wed the king, after which you will be our queen, princess."

"Didnt I just tell you not to call me princess? Just call me Y/n!" The head maid shook her head. "Princess, we can not do that. If we do, then we would be punished. And we must prepare you for dinner with his majesty!" The maids moved ahead to start helping you but you raised a hand, halting them.

"I said, no." You said sternly.

"What... what will we tell the king, princess? He's expecting you-"

"Tell him i cant come because Im sic- no, Im not feeling well and Id like to be alone." You cant say "sick" in this era, because that means "death sentence" here and you dont want to be fretted over and bring attention to yourself as "the king's fiancee got SICK!". Besides, you do need to be away from Baldwin as much as possible and have some time to plot your moves.

-

You had pulled out your notebook and began writing out dates and historic events of this era to plan your escape. You're trying to find some sort of shortcut where Baldwin gets sick again and dies, leaving his kingdom in the hands of his sister and brother in law, who will bring its downfall-

Someone knocked on your door gently. "Princess?" You quickly hid your notebook. "Come in."

Baldwin walked inside and towards you, eyes worried as they scanned you up and down.

"I heard you're not feeling well?" He asked and before you had a chance to back away, he had cupped your cheeks in his hands tenderly. "What's wrong? Shall I fetch the royal physician?"

"No." You replied with your face smushed in his hands. "I'm fine." You pulled your face away his large hands.

Confusion spread through his blue orbs. "Then why did you not join me for dinner?" He asked, using a hand to push your hair over your ear, not taking the hint that you didn't want him touching you.

"I just-" what possible excuse could you come up with that would be both effective and not insulting enough to have your head chopped off. "you- you dont care about me."

Baldwin looked at you in bewilderment. "I dont... care about you? Princess, how can you say that?" He tried to cup your cheek again but you backed away before he could, putting on a face of hurt.

"How can I not? You dont care about what I want, or even ask me what I need?" You feingned pain in your voice, turning away from him for dramatic effect.

He grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards him, his pupils grew wide as if trying to search for what it is that you need. "My love, what do you want? Just say the word, and I'll give it to you."

You looked down, again for the theatrics, and Baldwin lifted your chin. "Go on."

"You never- never asked me to marry you."

"Huh? But I did today-"

"No, you stated it- demanded I marry you." You furrowed your brows and looked down again.

Baldwin smiled. Of course, how could he have not asked you? You were a girl after all, you want to be courted the traditional way. Its not your fault that you dont know that kings do not ask permission for things. They just get it, because who would refuse to marry a king?

He kissed your forehead, lifting your chin again to meet his eyes. "Im sorry, princess. I shouldve asked." He took your hands in his and had that charming smile again. "Will you marry me, Y/n?"

"No." You shook your head. "I... I cant marry you, your majesty." You said, adding tears into your eyes. His brows furrowed in concern.

"What? Why?" You tried pulling your hands away but he didnt let go, tightening his grip ever so slightly.

"I-" well, you could say that youre not catholic and the church would never let you two get married, but you also dont wanna be tortured for being a "heretic". Maybe religious differences could be the last plan. Taking your silence as hesitance, Baldwin spoke. "I can offer you everything and more. Jerusalem would be yours. What is it that I lack that anyone else could offer?"

"I am not a good match for you!" Ah yes, lets do the typical "its not you, its me." You bit your lip as you yanked your hands out of his and walked towards the window, your back to him (theatrics). "You and I are not equals- no we are nowhere close! Youre a king, your father was a king, your family is royalty. I come from nothing, as did my ancestors. There will never be stability in our marriage when we come from such different backgrounds!" You never thought that you would be putting yourself down and call yourself "inferior" to break up with a man.

Silence hung in the air, as you held your breath.

"Youre right." You heard him say behind you. "We are not equals, we never will be." For some reason, instead of being relieved, a chill ran down your spine. Baldwin wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. "I may be a king, but youre far superior to me. You're an angel, sent to me by God, and you saved me. I wouldnt be king anymore if you werent here, princess."

Warmth spread from your cheeks to the tip of your ears, both due to the close proximity and his words. Sensing your bashfulness, he chuckled, kissing your cheek as he turned you around to face him. You could hear your own heart beat at how close he was.

Baldwin tilted his head, half lidded eyes staring at you. "Youre everything and more that I could ask for, princess. Never put yourself down and compare yourself to me, hm?" He said, giving your arms a gentle squeeze before moving away, but not detaching himself completely as he took ahold of your hand and looked back at you.

"Now that this is settled, let us go eat. I've had the servants prepare a feast for us and then we can discuss wedding arrangements-" shit shit shit shit shit fuck it!

"I'm not catholic!" Baldwin halted at that. You've already said it, might as well dig yourself a deeper hole. You let the tears form in your eyes. "Im... Muslim. I didnt tell you because I didnt want you to think I was working for Salauddin and spying on you for him, you know I wasnt! I really did only want to know about you. Please believe me, I wasnt-"

"I believe you."

What? Just like that.

"You- you believe me?" You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Once again, Im sorry i didnt tell you I was a Muslim, but dont worry, I'll pack my things and leave tonight-"

"Why? We still have to get married."

You blinked slowly. "But... Im Muslim?"

Baldwin shrugged. "So? It doesnt change anything."

You looked at him in bafflement. "It does! It changes everything! We cant get married! Im a Muslim! The church wont allow interfaith marriages, and I dont intend on converting to catholicism either if thats what youre suggesting!"

"I am not suggesting that. You can be a muslim if you want to, but we're still getting married." Baldwin stated matter of factly.

"The church wont allow it-"

"The church will do as I say. I am the head of the church. Besides-" He smiled.

"I dont remember angels having to prove themselves to be a catholic. You saved my life, you cured my incurable disease. As far as the church is concerned, youre a miracle sent to me by God. Youre the Chosen One!"

Is he... is he hearing himself? Can you try to convince him?

"But... but Jerusalem deserves a Catholic Queen-" you tried weakly, but he cupped your cheek and smiled gently at you.

"I am Jerusalem, Y/n. And I deserve you." Was all he said before pecking your forehead.

He tugged you along with him. "Now, we have to eat."

You dont want to eat. You want to stay behind and think of another strategy because clearly you cant talk yourself out of this wedding.

"I'm- I'm not hungry." You said, making him frown.

"How is that possible? You havent had anything since morning. I dont want you getting sick before the wedding." Baldwin continued to pull you along.

Does he not listen?

"I dont want to eat- I- dont feel like it." You said a bit harshly this time, hoping he'd take the hint.

And he did, finally stopping. He sighed and let go of your hand. "Okay. I suppose if you really dont want to, we can skip dinner tonight." Fucking finally. "Its just... I seem to have developed a habit of enjoying meals with you. And now that my leprosy is cured and I have no more diet restrictions, I just- I had the kitchen prepare some of my favourite dishes that I was able to enjoy before my disease disabled me."

You stared at him. Is he- is he trying to guilt trip you? Baldwin once told you that due to leprosy he had ulcers in his mouth, and he couldnt eat different types of food, and was only able to have bland, soft goo.

You looked away from his big sad eyes. He's not getting to you. You need to go back to your room, make yourself scarce, be far away from him as often as possible.

"You can still go and eat dinner alone."

With one hand, he cupped your cheek. "Princess, you know I cant eat until you eat too. But its okay, if you dont want to eat, then I wont too. I guess I'll just have the servants finish the chicken roast and oh-! They even made strawberry cream cake for dessert. But- maybe another day."

You looked into his eyes, those blue orbs that were filled with sadness, resembling a kid who was just told "no candy!"

Sighing, you held his hand. "Maybe I can have a few bites."

His face lit up. Ah, he knew you'd come around. "Lets go!"

-

The next day, youre helped by the maids to get ready for the day. Apparently, Sibylla wanted to meet you and discuss some things, and you suspect she wants to talk about the wedding preprations.

The maids had prepared your bath and were very insistent on washing you themselves but you made them all leave the bath chambers. Finally, they compromised when you told them that they could dress you up if they wait outside.

Setting your old clothes on the bed, you entered the bathroom and settled into the warm water. The essential oils and flower petals soothed your mind and body, and you finally had some desperately needed silence to hear your own thoughts.

Last night at dinner, Baldwin was very- well, "happy" would be an understatement to how he felt near you. And all those forehead kisses and skin contact doesnt go unnoticed by you either. You suppose that since he had leprosy, he never really had or was allowed to touch anyone else. But now that hes cured, all thanks to your dumb ass, he craves the physical intimacy.

You closed your eyes as you sank deeper into the warm water. Gosh, did I really have to give him the water? Had I not done that, he would still be ridden with lepro-

Your eyes snapped open. Thats it. You just have to make sure he never drank your water in the first place! Yes! You can go back in time and sure, its always dangerous to go back in the same time period more than once, but you really dont have any other option now, do you?

After half an hour, you finally exited the bathroom and the maids practically ushered you to sit in the chair as they finally, FINALLY got to dress up the future queen of Jerusalem and after a whole hour, they're finally done. And... well you look good. Your hair has been done nicely, and a delicate golden headpiece, almost like a elegant hair band sits on top of your head. They added some color to your cheeks and lips with crushed berries. As for your clothes, they dressed you in a dark blue tunic with loose, flowing sleeves. The tunic itself was made of silk, probably brought in from the Byzantine empire and was only available to the upperclass of this time.

"I am not wearing those!" You said when they opened the jewellery boxes. There were diamonds and other precious stones adorning the earrings and necklaces.

"But princess, you must wear these. It is royal protocol for the king's bride to be, and the future queen to wear the royal jewels." The head maid said. She doesnt know that you dont plan on sticking around and if you leave wearing these jewels, who knows what havoc would that cause?

"No. I dont want to wear them."

The maids shared a look of concern. "What?" You asked them.

"Its just... his majesty picked these out for you himself. He would be mad at us if you were not wearing these." One of the younger servants spoke as she fumbled with her fingers. Through the mirror, you looked at everyone's worried expression. You doubt that someone as calm and collected as Baldwin would lose his marbles over his fiancee not wearing jewellery.

"I dont think the king would be mad at you if I dont wear some jewellery. He isnt one to get angry that easily, you know?" You said chuckling, but it died when you saw them share the same concerned looks again. This time, you turned away from the mirror to look at them directly. "What? Go on, no secrets."

Another maid mustered up the courage to mumble. "Well- it's just- the king- I mean- his majesty is calm but um-" she paused to look at the other maids for help but they all avoided eye contact. "Out with it." You said a bit sternly.

"His majesty... gets... emotional- yes, emotional! When it comes to matters concerning you."

"Emotional? What do you mean? Speak clearly, no word will get out of this room, I promise." You spoke all while glaring at the other maids to make them silently comply to not tattle on their friend.

The maid bit her lip. "His majesty... gets mad when he thinks that you're not being treated well." You gave her a look to continue. "A few weeks back, while you were strolling out in the garden, his majesty reprimanded some of his knights for not escorting you. He asked them why they weren't guarding you?"

A few weeks back? It may have made some sense for Baldwin to be protective of his bride to be, but you two weren't engaged until yesterday. And before that, his relationship with you was barely platonic, more like a king-servant thing.

"Tell her about the kitchen incident too." Another maid whispered.

"What kitchen incident?"

"Um, 2 months ago, when the kitchen had prepared a feast for his majesty, he almost fired the entire kitchen staff for serving olives with the entree." You gave them a quizzical look. "Well, his majesty had told them that you can't eat olives and had told them not to include it in the palace's food. But it was a feast to celebrate his victory and the staff thought it'd be best to add olives because the king likes them."

Your eyes widened at that. He almost fired the kitchen staff because you said you can't eat olives? I mean, it's not like you're deathly allergic, you just didn't like how tart they were and when Baldwin saw you picking them out on your plate, all you could manage to blurt out was that you can't eat them. Perhaps, he thought you had diet restrictions like him.

You huffed. That still didnt warrant such a reaction from him. "That isn't nice. Don't worry, I'll talk to him."

The maid looked at you in horror. "No! I mean, his majesty would not like that we- um..." she tried to come up with appropriate words that wouldn't be insulting. Her scrunched up face as she thought hard made you giggle.

"Fine, fine. I won't say anything to him. You have my word." You said, smiling at them assuringly.

The head maid then held out the pearl necklace to you. You sighed and nodded, and they all cheered as they started picking out the jewels for you.

Its okay. You told yourself. I can always drop them somewhere before time travelling.

-

As soon as you were dressed, one of Sibylla's lady-in-waiting came to fetch you. She hurried you, saying something along the lines of "you must see princess Sibylla right away!" And you couldn't stop her from pulling you along, so time travelling will have to wait.

"Princess Sibylla needs to see you right away, princess!" The maid said as she pulled you towards a room. Knocking on it, the door swung open and you were met with the sight of different gowns hanging on dummies with maids tending to them, and right in the center of the room was Sibylla, practically jumping on her heels.

"Y/n!" She yelled out as she ran towards you and engulfed you in a hug before her lady in waiting, the same one standing beside you, cleared her throat. It caught Sibylla's attention who gasped softly before backing away and immeadiately giving you a courtesy. "I mean, princess Y/n." You gave a nasty look to the lady in waiting before shaking your head at an embarrassed Sibylla. "You don't need to courtesy to me, princess Sibylla."

She immeadiately beamed. "Of course I do! You're not going to be just my sister in law, you're also going to be Queen of Jerusalem! Of course i bow to you."

Me, a queen? Yeah, we'll see about that.

"Still, I consider us friends before anything else." You offerer her a small smile. "You called for me?"

"Oh? Oh, yes!" She immeadiately grabbed your hand and pulled you further into the room. "I didn't know what colours and material you preferred, so I ordered them to bring everything with the best seamstresses in kingdom!" She pointed at the seamstresses, who bowed to you.

"But... I don't need clothes. I already have a wardrobe." Your statement made Sibylla laugh as did a few of her hand maidens.

"Ahh, you're so naive!" Sibylla giggled. "That wardrobe doesn't exist anymore. You're a princess, soon to be queen, you need a royal wardrobe!" She said as she dragged her hand over one of the gowns, feeling the material. "And! You still have to select your bridal gown!"

For the next 3 hours, Sibylla had the maids show you different gowns and materials, even helping by giving her input as to what would suit you.

"I still like my old clothes, they're quite comfortable." You sighed. Designing your new wardrobe was not something that needed your urgent attention at the moment. You need to return to your room and get the time machine from your old dress and leave this era.

Sibylla nods. "I understand what you're going through. I still remember how they burned away my entire wardrobe when I married Guy. But I suppose its poetic in a way. Since you're starting a new life, so why not start one by getting new clothes!"

Wait.

"They burnt all your old clothes?" Sibylla nods. "Mmhmm! In a way, you're burning away your past! And starting a new-" You didn't stick around as you immeadiately rushed out of the room and made your way towards your own.

You can't- your old clothes has your time machine. If they burn it, you can't ever leave!

You burst into your room, looking at the empty spot on your bed where you'd left your clothes before going in the bath.

"No." The maids, they must've put it in your closet. You searched it, searched your entire room but to no avail.

A maid walked into your room, watching you tear apart the bedroom. "P-princess? May I help-"

"Where are my clothes?!" You walked upto her, the poor maid's fright apparently on her face. "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?"

"They- they're burning it-"

"WHERE?!"

"The gardens!"

You ran out of your room, and made your way towards the royal gardens as fast as you could, but with how huge this palace was, getting there took a while. Not to mention when you did get to the gardens, you didn't spot anyone there, but you did notice the smell of something burning, which lead you to the back of the gardens, that was away from everyone's sight.

There you found them, two maids burning your clothes in a small bonfire.

"PUT IT OUT!" You yelled as you rushed towards them, startling them.

"Princess-" they began bowing.

"Didn't you hear me? PUT THE FIRE OUT!" They scrambled about trying to find some water, but of course, they didn't have it.

"I'll get it from the fountain!" The two maids ran to get a bucket of water for you, but it would be too late by the time they came. So when you spotted your old dress burning, you pulled it out with bare hands, not caring about burning yourself.

The dress was mostly burnt to ashes, while only few bits remained that were still on fire. You managed to wrangle out your time machine out of it, the small metal box that was burning hot and left marks on your skin as you tried to hold it.

But even from here, you could see the damage was done. The area that displayed the year had now completely melted off, as did some of the buttons.

No. No. No. No. No. NO!

You couldn't help but cry as reality began to set in. You're stuck here.... you're stuck here forever.

Heart wrenching sobs wracked your body as you tried to hold the hot metal machine in your hands, your skin burning as you tried. Even when the servants came and poured the water on the fire, you still kept on crying, clutching your machine to your chest, partly to conceal it, partly from helplessness.

The maids looked at each in worry as they tried to console you, tried to pacify you, lest you had them executed. But it didn't matter, you were inconsolable. While one of the maids sat by your side, trying to soothe you, the other one ran in to get help.

Moments later, when you were able to hide the machine in your clothes again, someone came up and touched your shoulder from behind.

"Y/n?" You looked up through your tears. It was Baldwin. For some reason, seeing him only made you cry harder as you finally realised that you were stuck here with him. That you fucked up permanently.

"Oh princess. What's wrong? Don't cry- shhh, I'm here." He pulled your body towards him, letting you sob into his chest heartbreakingly. Exhaustion, frustration and shock must have overtook your body, as you fainted in his arms.

"Princess? Y/n?" He tried waking you up before collecting you in his arms and rushing back into the castle.

-

Hours later, you woke up to find yourself back in your room, lying in your bed. Your eyes looked down at your hands which were now wrapped in bandages. They only served as a reminder of what youd lost- your time machine.

Tears welled up in your eyes again. Am I- am I really stuck here? You sniffled.

A hand came up to caress your cheek, startling you.

It was Baldwin. "Princess? Do you want to tell me what happened?" His soft tone made you even more sad, and you raised your bandaged hands to wipe your tears, but he caught your wrists and lowered them back gently, using his own hands to wipe away the tears.

"No, you cant use your hands for sometime. The burns need to heal." His hand remained on your cheek, thumb caressing the area under your eye. "What happened, Y/n? Why were you so upset?"

You cant avoid the topic for long, and now that your way of escape is gone, you need to be careful of what you say and how you act around the king.

You let out a shaky breath. "They... they burned my clothes."

"Mmhm. Dont worry, I will have them bring in the fanciest clothes for you. Sibylla will make sure of it. Only the best for my princess." You shook your head. "Its not- its not that... They were my clothes... they burned away-"

"I know... but its a tradition. The maids burn away the bride-to-be's old clothes to signify that youre detaching yourself from the past and starting a new life." He explained, watching as you sniffled. Clearly, you were still upset over this.

"But the maids, they still should've informed you of this tradition before doing anything. I know how emotional of a transition this could be for girls." You nodded sadly, heart still sinking at the loss of your machine. "Dont worry though, they will be punished harshly for it. I have them in the dungeons tonight, and tomorrow-"

"What? Punished? No!" You cut him off. You dont want anyone to die because of you, especially when you dont know if anyone these people could potentially be an ancestor of yours.

"But they caused you harm. You burned yourself due to their-"

"No, no. Please, don't punish anyone- I- it was my fault for not knowing about royal traditions! Please, your Majesty, I beg you- don't do this- i- i-" You pleaded.

"Shhh, okay. Okay. I won't punish them for it." He patted your hair. "On one condition."

You looked at him in confusion.

"You call me Baldwin from now on." He grinned. "We are to be husband and wife soon, I don't want us to use royal titles with each other."

Your eyes widened. Is he- is he really giving up titles? You're not that blind to see his attempts at intimacy, but what you don't understand is why or even how you came to be on the receiving end of it.

What exactly is it about you that has made him want to marry you? Surely, Baldwin would've preferred to marry someone of this era, someone who is more compatible with him. Despite you trying to blend in the past months, you allowed Baldwin to see how you're not... as Conservative as most people of this time period are. One could say that he may be impressed by how intelligent you are than others, but it also brings up the factor of being "threatened" or "insulted" by the same intelligence.

Even though you consider beauty to be a "subjective" thing, the whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", you're not blind to how attractive others are. So why not them?

Did he only like you because you're intriguing? Does he still think you're a spy? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?

Probably. Or maybe he really does believe all that mumbo jumbo about you being "an angel sent to save him."

"As you wish... Baldwin."

-

Last night, after Baldwin had left you to rest, you stayed up and tried to figure out if you can fix your time machine, and if not, then can you built another one?

Fucking hell. You closed your eyes. I made it once, I can build it again. But it's easier said than done.

Back in the present, you had the technology to build it. Now? You have to first make the technology and the tools from scratch before you could even get on making your time machine, all while keeping your science project discrete, which was easier before because you weren't going to be married to a fucking King!

Right now, you're sitting in Baldwin's private dining room (yes, there are more than one dining room. He's royalty, what did you expect) having breakfast- well, being fed breakfast.

"You really don't need to do this." You said as Baldwin fed you another spoonful. He smiled as he wiped your lips with a napkin. "I don't need to, I want to. Besides, I don't want my princess starving."

Involuntary, your face flushed. "I- the maids could've fed me. And im not a princess." He frowned slightly. "Why would you- open wide, princess- why would you want the maids to feed you when you have me?" He pushed the spoon to your face as you parted your lips, but then he pulled it away and brought his face close to yours. "Do I make you nervous?"

You backed away immediately. "I- no- I mean-"

He burst out laughing. "I'm- I'm sorry princess, but you are just too endearing!" Baldwin chuckled as he grabbed the spoon again and fed you.

Your cheeks reddened, this time more out anger than embarrassment. "I don't want to eat anymore." You muttered, turning your face away.

He smiled as he brought the spoon to your lips again. "Ah ah, but you still haven't had enough." However, you rejected again, looking away instead of replying.

He sighed, placing the spoon back on the plate. "I'm sorry, princess. I shouldn't have laughed at you."

"You shouldn't have." You mumbled, face still turned away from him.

His lips quirked up a bit. "You know, for someone who insists that she's not a princess-" He turned your face to him gently. "- you sure have all the blandishment of one."

"Blandishment?"

"Flattering actions of a princess." He nodded.

You frowned. "Are you calling me a spoiled princess? A brat?"

"I would never!" Baldwin gasped. "I enjoy you acting like royalty, demanding respect and attention. You deserve it and more. Besides-" He picked up some food on the spoon again and brought it to your lips. "Even if if you were a spoiled, bratty princess, I wouldn't mind. I would enjoy spoiling you, hm?" He nudged the spoon to your lips softly.

You parted your lips, making him smile. It really is hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you with his baby blue eyes. They just- they draw you in.

"Also, before I forget, I will be leaving the castle today to meet Salauddin. So you can either hand out with Sibylla, who still wants to help you design your wedding gown, or your can-"

Salauddin? "Why are you meeting Salauddin? Isn't he your enemy?"

He chuckled. "Only on the battlefield. He and I have developed a friendship, or a mutual respect over the years. As to why I'm going to meet him, is... well, you."

"Me?" He nodded. "Since you told me that you're a Muslim, I thought that we could perhaps have a discreet Islamic wedding- what is it called? Nikkah? So, I could go and learn more about it from Salauddin."

You opened your mouth to protest. You don't need to be part of history as the "king of Jerusalem's Muslim wife" or "the Muslim-Christian wedding that took place during the Crusades", even if it might make the world more progressive.

But then, you didn't protest. "Can I come?"

Baldwin raised a brow at you. "You want to meet Salauddin?" You shook you're head. "Well, no, not really. I mean, I don't mind meeting him, but I just want to get out of the castle for a bit. It's been months since i left this place, I just want to get some fresh air." This could be the perfect opportunity for you, because if memory serves you right, Muslims of this era had made significant advances in science. Maybe you can use their help to get some tools to make the time machine again.

Baldwin looked unsure. "I don't know if it would be safe for you-" you held his hand with your bandaged ones. "Please, Baldwin? Can't you take me with you? And wouldn't I be the most safe when I'm with you?" Ah yes, stroke the male ego.

Finally, he smiled.

"Alright. I supposed it would be fine, after all, you should see the kingdom you're going to be the queen of."

Thoughts? (Also, I need to go shower rn, so I'll put the read more later. Doing so much effort for u guys, my spoiled greedy children)

Part 3 is here.

#yandere baldwin #yandere king baldwin #male yandere #yandere male #yandere x reader #yandere x #yandere x darling #yandere #baldwin iv

[jamespotterismydaddy]

Five Long Years (Chapter 1)

aemond x niece!reader

A/N: i've been wanting to do age gap aemond with his niece for a while so when someone requested it, i was going to do a smut oneshot but it turned into this so weee new miniseries

WARNINGS: angsty, there will be incest and future smut

WORD COUNT: 1,059 words

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Five years since you saw him last. Two years since the death of his wife, Cassandra Baratheron and he is now finally coming home. He has travelled much, or at least that is what he says in his letters. Aemond Targaryen is a man of few words in everything but his letters to you, his dear niece who has spent the majority of her life doing no less than adoring him. Seeing him has been the thing you have spent the last month looking forward to and the day has finally come as you make your way to the courtyard.

“Ñuha rūs mandianna, look at how you’ve grown.” (my baby niece) 

You hear the voice from behind you, whipping around to meet his eye. Oh, and grown you have, into your name and into your body.

You hold in your squeal of delight as you walk up to him. “I have missed you, Kepus. I didn’t think you had already arrived.” You breathe out as he takes both your hands in his and brings them up to his mouth for a kiss. You feel your cheeks flush.

“I missed you more.” He murmurs, brushing a strand of your hair out of your face. He must have noticed your blush by now.

“Tell me everything. I want to hear all about Pentos and Naarth and Lys.” You take his arm, leading him forward for a walk so you don’t have to look him in the eyes.

He smiles at how flustered you are. “You would have loved it, darling. There was so much to learn, so much history in every city.”

You listen to him with such interest as he goes on about each city, their people, their clothes. He’s pleased about how you want to hear it all. You’ve walked through the gardens twice by the time he had gotten through the bulk of it but even so, you can feel that he hasn’t told you everything.

“Tell me more, Kepus.” You beg him, never wanting to leave his side again.

“Not all things are for your ears, sweetling.”

You pout. “What do you mean?”

“You are still just a little girl in many ways.” He holds your hand, his thumb drawing small circles on your knuckles.

“I will be married soon. I won’t be a little girl after that.” A hint of emotion flashes through his eyes as you speak the words.

“I’m not so sure you’re ready for that.” He murmurs, looking at your soft hands before you yank them from his grasp.

“How should you know what i’m ready for?” He’s surprised by your sharp response. He never would have expected you to use such a tone with him.

“Because I know you.”

“You knew me. We have not seen one another for years.” There’s hurt in your voice, in your eyes.

“I had a wife to attend to… a child.”

Both who are now dead.

“A woman grown would be able to understand that.” He says, patronizing you.

“I do understand that.” There’s such jealousy in your voice. You just want to be seen by him, in a way that is different from a little girl who is only now slightly less little.

“You have flowered, yes and you have gotten so beautiful but your petulance has yet to escape you.” He speaks so tenderly as he lifts your chin to force you to look in his eye, but you find his words cruel.

“I’m not petulant.” You protest, pulling your face from his hand. You hate his gentle touches when he’s being mean.

“A well-mannered girl wouldn’t speak to her uncle the way you do.”

“I am well-mannered, just not a pushover.” You say back to him.

“If that were true, you wouldn’t have looked at a man on his wedding day the way you looked at me.” It stings when he says it. You didn’t even realize he noticed the way you gazed at him when he said his vows, all your longing wrapped up in a single look.

“Will you truly hold me to a look I gave you five years ago?” You want to scoff or say something mean but you hold your tongue instead.

“I was too old for you then.” He sympathizes. You didn’t even realize he knew. Men aren’t unusually so perceptive, especially ones who are barely twenty years old.

“Eight years isn’t so long. Daemon and my mother are sixteen years apart.” You murmur, knowing there’s no point in pretending.

“Her Grace wasn’t twelve when she married him.”

“Lots of girls get married at twelve.” You think of your grandmother who married even younger.

“Yes, lots of girls do get married at twelve… and then they die in childbirth at thirteen.” He states seriously. Aemond has little interest in fucking children, whether they have bled or not. “It was not because I did not like you, mandianna.” He reaches for you again to bring you demeaning comfort that you do not want.

“Stop touching me.”

“I didn’t know it would hurt you so. I had assumed it would pass.” He knows you still yearn for him.

“You think I still desire you? I want a man who will treat me like a woman, not a babe!” You’re angry and humiliated and you lash out, wanting that childhood crush to finally die, because that’s all it could have possibly been, frivolous and childish.

“I apologize. I should not have assumed.” You know he’s saying it just to calm you because a man like him is not so stupid, just arrogant enough to think he could never be wrong.

“I don’t want your purportless apologies.” You say with venom.

He sighs. “Then allow me to give you the gifts I brought for you-”

“You wish to distract me with trinkets?”

He isn’t too sure of what to say. You were much meeker as a girl, easily won over with pretty things and kind words. You’re more confident now… more Targaryen.

“I just do not wish to argue when it’s been so long since I saw you last.”

“And whose fault is that? You’ve had two years to see me… I’m starting to think it’s now too late.”

And with that, you stomp off, leaving Aemond dazed and confused… and slightly impressed. Maybe you aren’t just a little girl anymore.

taglist (comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy @ophelialaufey @aerangi @ravenclawprincess33

#aemond targaryen #hotd #aemond #hotd x reader #hotd fanfic #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen fic #aemond angst

[sttm99]

Till Death Do Us Part

Bakugo x reader

Part 2: Only Ever You and Me

Ps: I got bored and decided I hadn't posted in a while, so I did this.

Prince Bakugo, who was arranged to marry you, some princess from another kingdom, despite all his protests.

Not only did he NOT want to get married, but his heart already belonged to someone else; the little shy maid in the corner of the banquet Hall where the wedding reception was being held.

He'd met you for the first time a few months ago, and again, just some hours ago when the wedding was finally held, but he'd already decided on one thing he didn't like about you.

You were perfect.

And not in a good way.

You were perfect in such a way that it had him itching to see something wrong.

He sulked through the whole wedding when you finally arrived at the Palace because you were pretty. Too pretty. You were absolutely stunning, and it had irritation coursing through him.

He saw the way his maid lover looked at you; jealousy and sadness obvious as she saw the way you and him were paraded around the hall.

He hated it. He hated the stupid, royal smile that was permanently etched on your face. He hated how you seemed so prim and proper as you smiled and greeted other nobles around him, laughing when expected, showing empathy to concerns he knew you had never experienced, and that stupid soft voice of yours as you talked about how lucky you were to be married to him.

He hated as he watched you dance around with some generals in the middle of the hall, your movements graceful and perfect, precise and correct.

He had to tear his eyes away from you before the irritation consumed him. Unironically, it had him locking eyes with his lover, his own softening in turn as he stared at her, wanting nothing more than to escape to that empty hallway they always met in.

And he was about to, already standing from his seat and turning to the exit.

But you'd quickly appeared in front of him, soft, irritating smile on your face as you stared up at him so innocently.

"Where are you going, Katsuki?" You asked softly.

"The bathroom," he quickly murmured, already trying to step around you, but you followed, quickly sidestepping so you were in front of him again.

He scowled as you blocked his path, "Oi-"

"You think I don't see you look at her?" You stepped forward, and Bakugo thought he'd heard a mistake because you still had that soft look on your face, yet your voice was suddenly so cold.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, and for the first time, his voice wasn't so aggressive.

But you just grinned at him. "Your little whore, near the drapes at the left end of the hall. You think I don't notice how you stare at her?"

Your observance makes him glare. "So?" He spits out at you, quietly so no one hears. "You think I give a fuck? This wedding is a sham and-"

"And it's the joining of our people," you say softly, practically cooing at him like he's a kid. He hates it, it makes his skin crawl. "It's our duty. I'd hardly call it a sham."

"Doesn't change the fact that I already had someone. Someone whom I loved, who was mine." He growls through gritted teeth, hands clenched by his side.

"But you're not hers," you say with a grin. This one is ugly; it's mean and a borderline sneer. "You're mine, Katsuki. My king. My husband."

"You-"

"At the end of the day, it's me you'll only ever be seen with, it's me who'll be buries next to you, and when we're dead and gone, the history books will say I was your wife."

He's frozen in his place, still trying to process your declaration. You're right. You're stupidly, annoyingly right, but it pisses him off, it scares him, this boldness and this meanness, knowing that he was going to spend the rest of his life with you.

But it excited him as well, this confidence and possessiveness, knowing that he was going to spend the rest of his life with you.

"With you and her? It's fleeting, quick passion. But you and I?" You grin, "Till death do us part."

He's still frozen in place, suddenly quiet as you step forward and link your arms together. You rest your head on his arm as his mother begins to approach you two.

"Smile, husband," you whisper softly to him. "It's our wedding."

#bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katuski x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #bnha x reader

[thatbitchery]

& remember the first sign of a loser loser loser loser is hating school. Yall should've unfollowed me 2023 this year I'm laying it on you as is.

If you're not in some sort of murder level clas enroll right now. & it has to be so hard it feels like a death sentence

Ladies any form of "escape the matrix" and "you don't need school" & whatever school hating content out there is level down programming meant to keep you stuck and weak. School is the closest imitation to real life you get so dropping a class because it's too hard is your sign to tie yourself to your moms basement and never leave because you sure as heaven not making it in corporate, business, friendships, relationships, and, God Forbid, parenting. You Manifest a future as a stone because that's the most you can do with that mentality. Dropping out because you have anxiety is another great sign to move to the Amazon and cosplay a sloth because if you think there are human interactions in the adult world that won't make you feel anxious ahhh baby my baby. You got it so wrong, baby. If you can't focus in a 30 minute lesson just take your dream board & burn it up burn it upp and try your hand at being a house fly you'll have better luck. If you drop a class because you don't like the teacher stay as far away from romantic relationships and friendships and , especially, corporate & entrepreneurship because girly don't we have news for ya. Can't manage your time? And you want to be a CEO? Are you kidding?

School is the closest imitation to real life you get & the better you are at it the better you are at life, the harder your school life is the better your real life will be. & I mean take biochem engineering & aeronautical engineering first year college, get your ass run over by it BUT learn to sit still, to power through, teamwork, study techniques, etc so no one cares about your A [fun fact most A students don't make it] but did you power through it? K then junior year do the thing you actually like.

Not liking school for whatever reason is loser mentality if you couldn't make it past test drive what makes you think you'll make it on the highway. Back in high-school when I told my grandma I'm giving up on my scholarship because I'm getting bullied and tortured and ostracized her response wasn't a hug it was a slipper grandma of color style because do you think that won't happen in your adulthood? You think you run from a problem and it goes away? Go back in and make it tf. Notice how I'm not focused on what grade you get? My friend works at firm (one of the top of the country) that don't employ people with a history of As , it's not about academic excellence, can you get to cheer practise at 6 am and be in class by 7? What makes you think you can be a mom then? "Independent" can you schedule yourself? Manage classes, sports, hobbies, a part-time job, home chores , friendships, and free time? WHAT DO YOU THINK ADULTHOOD IS ABOUT? what makes you think running from that in school (where you have guidance & forced community) will keep you safe? Out here you're all alone sis. And now the government protects you like a treasure that ID days 18 and its up to you to protect yourself. If you can not sit still in a 30 minutes class you don't like what makes you think you're cut out for corporate? Yall ain't never left your moms house and it shows, no one that has been in the real world has that level of delulu.

Pick the damn calculus class & power from an E to a C- so when you're running your business & you meet hard things you dislike you have muscle memory to power through it & bc your business is something you like it's easier. Go to school with the girls that dislike you & find a way out of that so when your mom in law or officemates are being flaky you know what to do, you don't run. Sit through that class with that one homphobic sexist bigoted teacher so when you land a job at your dream firm you don't resign in six days and sabotage shit because you're delulu enough to think your little tantrum matters.

School , especially boarding school, is the closest imitation to real life you get. Power through it, take advantage of the resources & always chase the hardships now that you have people charged with guiding you so you're not 25 unmotivated with no accomplishment despite your A's , barely functional adult feeling like a loser because you let tiktok & escape the matrix bojo creators lie to you. Do you want to be one of those 35 year olds heavy on magical thinking because you didn't learn what your parents literally paid for you to learn under the guise of 'self care'. Don't be dumb dumb.

Success spills over

[vulpes115]

Narcissa, specifically the Marauder’s fandom take on her, makes me want to sob and I need her to be appreciated more. Just, imagine you are the third daughter of parents that only wanted sons. A flower in a sky full of stars. A flower, an object only meant to be looked upon and be pretty. You know your parents never loved you, will never love you, you who is not the long awaited son they asked for. But even still, you can’t help pushing yourself to fulfill the mold they expect from you, beautiful and perfect. But even still you receive love from your family, just in the form of your older sisters. Your eldest who tries so fiercely to protect you and your sister but is clearly starting to slip into insanity. The middle starting to slip away, finding comfort in a man who’s kind you were poisoned to hate. Still, you love them. No matter what you love them, you have so little else. The only other one you have is your baby cousin, made in the same mold as you, who you try so desperately to protect.

At Hogwarts you are expected to be a good mark on your family, prefect, ace student and quidditch player. Willing to drop it all as soon as graduation to be a wife and mother. You only let yourself break the rules once, for her, the one decision you made that goes against your family wishes, the girl whose kisses taste like powdered sugar, whose natural kindness and beauty shines like a candle in your otherwise dark life. For years you let yourself indulge it. For years you pretend. But you know it must end.

The end comes quicker than thought. Your middle sister comes to you, she’s going to elope with her own secret love, she’s going to escape the family and the rot it contains. She asks if you want to come with. You want so badly to say yes. But you have been the perfect daughter for so long, being anything else scares you. So you say no. So you close the door. So you marry the fiancée that sister left behind. So you accept it when your lover breaks up with you, unwilling to be just a mistress. So you tell yourself you’re better without her, all the while knowing you will never find love like her again. Never stop loving her. You say as much when your cousin asks you if it ever gets better, heartbroken over his own Gryffindor. But still you made your choices and well, your fiancée is…fine, as pure-blood men go. He loves you but you don’t love him, can’t ever love him but you’re ok playing your part, even if it’s never him you picture when you play it, not even on your wedding night.

Before you know it, war is at your doorstep. Your eldest, no, only sister and your husband both pledge allegiance to the Dark Lord. So does your youngest, no, only cousin. Your cousin, so young, so naive. He dies, you never find the body, he was only eighteen and you couldn’t do anything to protect him. And the only person you ever loved? Well when you first realized she was going to be fighting on the opposing side you figured she’d be ok. Her and her new husband were powerful, well respected aurors, true Gryffindors, if anybody was going to be ok it was them. You were wrong, oh so wrong. Death would have been kinder with the fate they suffered. A fate brought on by your sister. The only one you ever loved as much as the love of your life. A love now only matched by hate.

You watch as your sister is dragged off in shackles, trying to hide any expression behind an icy mask. You watch as your lover looks back at you with distant lifeless eyes, eyes that don’t recognize you. You visit as often as you can but it’s hard to get away from your duty as mother and wife, even harder to see your lover permanently near death like this. You don’t mean to, but you stop visiting as often.

You only have one thing left to hold on to now, your son. Your darling boy. As a second war fast approaches you fear for him. You saw what happened to your cousin, you fear history is doomed to repeat itself. You do everything you can, extract whatever vows are needed, you do not believe you can survive if he too is taken from you. Then the pivotal moment comes. You have no idea if your son is alive or dead, but the chosen one is lying on the ground and he tells you he’s alive. In that moment you make a choice, you lie, you lie to the most powerful man alive, you lie to a mind reader, you lie to save your son, and you never admit it to yourself but you lie to avenge your lover he stole the sanity of, your cousin he stole the life from, and your sister he stole the soul of.

When the war is over, your action lets your family escape consequences. For the first time since the war began, you find the courage to come and visit your old lover. You apologize for not visiting more, and tell her about your sons, how her son had finished what she started, how your son had done what you never could. It takes several years longer until you make a visit to a different ghost of your past, knock cautiously on the door, a door opened by your sister, a woman you haven’t seen in almost thirty years. Things are awkward at first, of course they are, she is resistant, she’s lost so much to this war and she is slow to trust again, but eventually you two are having a heart to heart over tea, apologizing to each other about old wrongs. It’s not much, but it’s a start. As for your boy, he finds comfort in, of all people, the chosen one, the boy your whole family was supposed to hate, the boy who you helped save the life of. You are glad he is happy, you saw how miserable he was during the war. But a small part of you can’t help but feel envious, that this is a happiness that you could’ve experienced, that your cousin could’ve experienced, if you had made different choices, better choices, found your voice earlier, instead of being left with just an empty shell. Still, you made those choices, had made your bed, and now you must lie in it. But, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, if you get to see your son smile, if you get to hold your grandchildren, if you get to see your sister for monthly tea, if you get to hold your old lover’s hand once in awhile and pretend for just a minute that everything turned out ok between you two.

That’s something your parents didn’t know when they named you after a daffodil, that even after a harsh cold winter, they can make a comeback.

#Narcissa Black #Narcissa Malfoy #The Black Sisters #Andromeda Black #Andromeda Tonks #Bellatrix Black #Bellatrix Lestrange #NobleFlower #Alice Fortescue #Regulus Black #Marauders

[januaryembrs]

LAST KNIGHT IN SOHO MASTERLIST

DESCRIPTION: She’s all Steven can think about in between the missing days and the American man inside his head. When Harrow’s jackals leaves Marc with a difficult choice, his hectic life is spun out of control as Seth, God of Violence and Chaos, comes to reap his reward in the form of a woman from Soho with a dark past and a crush on Steven Grant. (Lightly inspired by Last Night in Soho dir. Edgar Wright)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: (specific warnings at the beginning of each chapter) 18+ DARK PAST. Sex trafficking/prostitution. Grooming. Explicit. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Abuse ex-boyfriend/lover, death, murder, gore, drug use. Any smut written will be consensual sex only, but there will be some implication to dubcon content. PLEASE CHECK WARNINGS BEFORE YOU READ. AGAIN MINORS DNI. * = smut warning

STEVEN GRANT & MARC SPECTOR X (EVENTUAL) AVATAR!READER. Friends to lovers trope (Steven Grant) Sunshine x Grumpy trope (Marc Spector), Light smut, explicit language, no use of Y/N, goes by nickname Dove. I ADORE LAYLA EL-FAOULY so she is still in the narrative but as Dove’s reluctant friend. Female!reader. AFAB!reader. I am English and do not have DID but have tried my best to do all the research I could on the themes I talk about (Ancient Egyptian culture/history/language. Experiencing DID etc) but if I am misinformed and offend anyone, know I am truly sorry and am more than happy to hear anyone’s corrections in my inbox and will do my best to fix it!

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CHAPTER ONE - Steven finds his life slowly turning upside down when the man in the mirror starts talking back, he's sleepwalking all the way to the Alps, and the woman he's besotted with from work finds herself more caught up in all of it than he'd ever wanted.

CHAPTER TWO - She wakes up with a killer headache and a million questions when she realises two things: 1. the man in her room is not infact Steven Grant and 2. her body no longer belongs to her but to the God of Death.

CHAPTER THREE - With Marc and Steven captured by Harrow's men, Layla has no choice but to work with her ex-husbands mistress to get them and the scarab to safety. But things take a turn when Seth comes to reap his reward.

CHAPTER FOUR - Dove wakes up in Steven’s apartment for the second time covered in blood with only one thing on her mind. What the hell happened last night?

CHAPTER FIVE - Marc and Dove adjust to their new mission: catch Harrow before he can release Ammit and for the love of gods don’t let Seth have the body again.

CHAPTER SIX - Summoning a council with the gods sound easy enough, right? Except the man on trial knows the dark secret she has yet to tell Marc.

CHAPTER SEVEN - Marc, his ex-wife and his supposed mistress head to Mogart’s to find Senfu’s sarcophagus, whatever could go wrong when the god of Chaos wants to be involved?

CHAPTER EIGHT - Dove, Marc and Layla escape Mogart’s with only more dead ends and questions unanswered. They’re running out of time before Harrow reaches the tomb, but one thing keeps sticking in Layla’s head more than the rest. Why does Dove look so guilty?

CHAPTER NINE * - Layla, Steven and Dove set off towards Ammit’s tomb across the dunes, only Steven and Dove have a heavy confession they’ve each been meaning to make.

CHAPTER TEN - Marc finds out the truth about Dove, and pays the mortal price.

CHAPTER ELEVEN -

CHAPTER TWELVE -

CHAPTER THIRTEEN -

CHAPTER FOURTEEN -

CHAPTER FIFTEEN -

Comment or send an ask to be tagged in new chapters!

#moonknight x reader #moonknight fanficiton #marc spector x reader #mary palmer #moonknight imagine #moon knight #moon knight x reader #steven grant fanfiction #steven grant x reader #steven grant #steven grant imagine #marc spector #marc spector fanfiction #marc spector imagine #jake lockely x reader #jake lockely imagine #Jake lockely fanfiction #oscar isaac imagine #oscar isaac x reader #oscar issac fic #marvel x reader #marvel #smut #steven grant smut #marc spector smut

[almond-tofuuu]

Please don't say goodbye...

Zayne x reader

Warnings: heavy angst, mentions of death, very little comfort, not proof read

Summary: after receiving orders from the Hunters Association that you're being sent on a dangerous mission, one you might not return from, you have to break the news to your childhood friend and doctor, Zayne...

Word count: 2.8k (holy- Idk how that happened)

The beginning of this fic is written by anticyra as the intro for her Zayne chatbot on c.ai, full credits go to her!!!

"Late for your checkup again, I see," Zayne said in his usual blunt manner, not even bothering to look up from his paperwork when you burst into his office.

If it were anybody else who decided to book an appointment right at the end of his shift, and then turn up half an hour late for it, Zayne wouldn't have bothered staying to wait. But since it was you... well, it wasn't like he had anything better to do that night anyway. Plus he was too distracted by all the other medical reports he had to review to really notice the time.

Setting his folder down, Zayne finally glanced at you, taking in your flushed and slightly disheveled appearance. It was clear you had been in a rush to get here and the thought made the ice of his gaze melt just a little.

Giving him a small, apologetic smile you make your way to the seat opposite him, a sigh of relief escaping your lips as you can finally relax for a moment.

"I'm really sorry, Zayne. I would've been here sooner but I was called into an urgent debriefing at the last minute.... I couldn't get away any faster" you explain quietly, just the thought of the meeting is enough to flood your mind with stress, though you try not to let it show.

Zayne sighs audibly at the mention of a 'debriefing' and decides to drop the matter of your tardiness immediately. Knowing you must've had important things to deal with, his annoyance dissipates. Folding his arms over his chest and leaning his weight back in his chair, his eyes noting the crease in your brow and the dark circles forming under your eyes. "And this was regarding a Wanderer attack, I'm guessing."

Heaving a tired sigh you nod your head in confirmation, running a hand through your slightly messy hair, "... there's been a sudden increase in attacks recently in the mountains. The Hunters Association is planning on sending a team to clear out the wanderers and investigate the source of their appearance..."

Zayne made a mental note of that. Wanderer attacks. Not exactly good news.

When the Hunter's Association made movements like this, that usually meant the situation had become dire or they'd received some alarming intel. Either way, a bit of extra caution wouldn't hurt right about now. Zayne shifted in his seat as he considered his next question.

"Are you going? To the mountains I mean," he asked, looking down at the file in front of him and flipping through your medical history.

Nodding your head in confirmation you let out a nervous exhale, the unusually serious expression on your face causing Zayne's apprehension to rise.

"....That's actually what I wanted to speak with you about..." Pausing for a moment, you consider the easiest way to break the news to him, deciding it's best to just get it over with, like ripping off a band-aid. "I'll be joining the team the Association is sending into the mountains.... There's no way to know how long the mission will take but....they say it will last at least 4 months..."

Zayne froze, although his expression remained calm and professional, his thoughts were anything but.

In the mountains...with wanderers...for up to FOUR MONTHS?!

Clearing his throat, he fought to keep his voice level, "so...I won't see you for four months then." It was all he could manage to get out, not trusting his voice to keep his true emotions concealed.

Swallowing nervously, you stare down at your lap, desperately wanting to avoid his piercing gaze, knowing he would see straight through the brave front you were putting up. "Well, four months is the minimum....it's likely I'll be there longer... And..." Your sentence trails off as you hesitate, reluctant to tell him the truth.

Zayne remains silent, waiting for your answer, but he could already guess the rest. You were going into the mountains, fighting wanderers. If you got injured or--he didn't even want to think about the possibilities.

Four months was already a ridiculous amount of time to spend on this kind of mission, but if something happened before that... he didn't want to entertain the idea.

"...And," he repeated, in a slightly harsher tone than he intended. His thoughts spiralling dangerously with every passing second.

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath to steady yourself, gathering your courage before continuing in a soft voice, "...the situation in the mountains is pretty bad... The place has essentially become a warzone and we've already lost a lot of hunters.... There's a strong chance that... I won't make it back..."

Won't make it back...

Your words seemed to barely register for Zayne. Won't make it back. He felt like someone had reached inside his chest and squeezed his heart. It was as if time itself has slowed to a halt as this new reality finally sank in. Zayne froze. He was surprised to find his hands clenched into fists at his side and had to make a conscious effort to unclench them.

He stared straight at you with a blank expression as he forced himself to stay calm. He wouldn't-couldn't- let himself lose his composure. Not now, not in front of you. "I see.... Why are you telling me this?"

Finally you look up to meet his gaze, eyes softening as you take in all the small details of his face, wanting to commit them to memory. You struggle to keep your voice steady, not wanting to breakdown in front of Zayne. "I'm telling you because you're my friend. You're someone I care about and i-.... I felt I owed it to you to tell you this myself"

Your eyes held his for a moment longer than he was comfortable with and Zayne was sure you could see it as well. A tightness formed in his throat as he fought to keep his the thin string he was hanging on by from snapping.

"I see," he said, his voice flat. "You're going to the mountains to fight wanderers and there is a strong possibility that you'll not return." It hurt to even say the words. "Is there anything else?"

Your eyes widen at his matter-of-fact tone, not expecting his complete lack of concern. It hurt to see how stoic he was, to know that the news of your possible death didn't seem to affect him at all. You had so much more you wanted to tell him but his indifference made you second-guess whether to continue or just leave. After a short internal debate you decide to just tell him what you want to say, even if he didn't care at least you could leave here without any regrets.

"...I just wanted to say that I appreciate everything you've done for me.... And if this is the last time I get to see you, then I want you to know that the time I've spent with you has been the happiest time of my life...." Your voice trembles, breaking slightly as you try to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

Zayne felt his chest get tighter as your words sank in. A small amount of moisture built up in his eyes but he refused to let it fall, biting his lip as he looked down at the files on his desk, their words blurring as his vision became clouded with tears.

the... the happiest time of your life...

His brows furrowed together as a frown crossed his face.

...if nothing else... If something did happen... Was the time he spent with you... the happiest time for him as well?

Finally. His expression shifted as the dam broke and his control slipped.

"y/n..."

He stood up, taking a quick step and grabbing your hands before you could pull away. And then he pulled you towards him in a tight embrace, taking in your scent, feeling your heartbeat pounding against his chest.

"This is NOT the last time you will see me," he whispered, his voice filled with vulnerability and fear.

You freeze, caught off guard by his sudden embrace, mind racing at the raw emotion in his voice. You're quick to accept his comforting hold on you, melting into his touch and burying your face into his chest, your arms wrapping around him tightly, clinging to him like a lifeline. "...you can't guarantee that, Zayne.... Neither of us can..." Your words are whispered softly, carrying the weight of your sadness.

Zayne ran his hands down your spine, cupping the small of your back and pulling you closer to his chest. He didn't respond, just held you, trying to imprint this moment into his brain. This... This could be the last time he held you and he wanted to remember everything, from the feel of your skin to the scent of your combined body heat.

"I'm not trying to guarantee anything," he uttered, squeezing you tighter than he intended but he didn't care. The pain that he felt thinking about you dying... he couldn't put it into words.

"I'm saying that I won't lose you. I won't accept that!" Zayne leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against yours, the desire to keep his self-control intact long gone. If you were really going off to the mountain for months, he wanted to be able to feel you. He wanted you close so badly it hurt.

Leaning into his touch, you eagerly return the kiss with equal passion, hands tangling into his raven hair. A soft sigh escapes your lips, your heart fluttering as you lose yourself to the feeling of his lips on yours.

Zayne's hands wander down your body, gripping tight around your hips. His lips met yours again and again, every kiss taking him closer and closer to heaven. He could feel himself getting swept away in the moment and losing his inhibitions. The urge to hold you tight never left and only grew until he wanted to press you to the wall and refuse to let go. But he forced his emotions back under control, knowing that there were more important things to discuss.

He finally pulled away, letting it sink in that this could truly be the last time you would meet.

Your eyes flutter open, meeting the captivating green of his intense gaze. When you speak your voice is soft, barely above a whisper, but your tone is filled with a deep sadness. ".... Zayne.... I want you to know that whatever happens.... I love you"

His heart lurched at your words. He had always thought there was no way to make this situation any worse than it already was. But your confession made it so much harder.

He couldn't let his emotions get the best of him, not under these circumstances, but his voice remained soft when he finally spoke. "I have something I want you to know as well," he said, leaning down and pressing his forehead against yours. "Even if we don't get to meet again... know that I love you as well."

His confession causes your breath to hitch, heart fluttering as it swells with joy, knowing the feelings you've harboured for so long are reciprocated. You let out a soft sigh, breathing in his familiar, soothing scent, your hands gently stroke through his hair.

"....I wish I had told you how I felt sooner, we could've had more time together.... But at least now I know you feel the same way I do...." You try to keep your voice light, though the regret lacing your words is poignant, sending a wave of warmth through Zayne. Despite everything he could feel his own emotions starting to come back under control, some level of calm returning the longer this moment went on.

You were right, you could have had more time together... He had pushed you away so many times during your appointments and now he was being haunted by the possibility he had wasted too much time.

But at least now... he would know he had said the right thing in your last moments together.

"...We both feel the same way," he repeated, almost in disbelief.

A soft yet sad smile forms on your lips, the thoughts of what could have been weighing heavily in your mind, and the possibility of this being your last moment together causes your heart to ache. "....I swear that I'll do everything in my power to stay alive.... I don't want this to be the last time I see you.... But if I don't make it back, just know that I fought as hard as I could"

You promised to stay alive, but Zayne could hear the defeat in your tone, the fear and worry of the possibility of never seeing him again hanging in both of your minds like a dark cloud.

He squeezed your hands, not wanting to let go even though he knew he'd have to at some point. His eyes never left yours as he considered his response.

"I will do everything in my power to make sure this isn't the last time we see each other." He tightened his embrace, refusing to let go for even a second. "But if you don't come back..."

His voice broke for a moment as the pain threatened to overwhelm him. "Know that I will wait for you. Forever if I have to."

You swallow the lump in your throat, desperately trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall as the pain of having to leave him becomes almost suffocating. taking a deep shaky breath, you look into his eyes, seeing yourself reflected in the deep green.

"...I have to go.... The team are waiting for me..." Even though you whisper softly that you need to leave, your body makes no move to tear itself away from his warm embrace.

The reality of how little time you have left together hits Zayne like a freight train. His body freezes. He couldn't bear the thought of letting you go, as if his body would fall apart if he lost contact with yours even for a second.

"Please..." his voice was pleading now. He didn't care if he sounded weak, desperate even. "Just a few more moments, that's all I ask."

Sighing softly you hold him tighter, you couldn't bring yourself to deny his request, especially when he sounded so broken and desperate to keep you close to him. You could feel your heart cracking at the realisation that once you let him go, you'd have to leave him behind.

"Okay...just a little longer..."

And so he held you, content to simply stay like this, breathing in your scent, running his fingers through your hair, feeling the softness of you against him. Just another minute or two, anything to delay the inevitable and keep you here, safe in his arms.

Unfortunately the moment is cut short by the beeping of your phone, a cruel reminder that your time together is over. You sigh in frustration, glaring at the offensive object as it continued to ring, signalling that you had to leave. Silencing the call, you turn back to Zayne, a sad smile on your face as you both share a silent understanding that this is it.

"I don't like this," he murmured, his voice low as his eyes met yours in a moment of shared disappointment. You had both spent too long not telling each other the truth and now you were forced to suffer the consequences. Even just another minute together would have made it so much easier to bear.

"I don't either..." You agree quietly, your trembling voice showing just how truly devastated you are to have to go "...I guess this is goodbye...."

"For now." He whispered firmly, hesitant to allow even the possibility that you wouldn't come back, and his words were as much for his own sake as yours. The seconds seemed to stretch out and fly by all too quickly, and Zayne didn't want to be the one to let go first, afraid of what would happen the second you parted.

"Come back to me, okay?" His voice was tight and strained, hand reaching up to gently brush a loose strand of hair out of your eyes. "Come back to me and keep that promise you made."

Leaning into his touch, your eyes flutter closed briefly, a stray tear rolling down your cheek. "...I will... I'll come back to you and I'll never leave again... I promise, this won't be the last time we see each other." Your voice is full of determination despite the way it trembles.

And Zayne believes you, with every fiber of his being wanting to believe you, wanting to trust that you would make it back. That he wouldn't lose you so cruelly to something neither of you had any control over.

"I'll wait, even if I have to wait forever."

His words were soft yet full of a quiet ferocity. He would wait for you, even if the world burned down around him. He wanted you to know that he would do whatever it took to make your promise come true, no matter how long it took.

#love and deepspace #zayne #zayne love and deepspace #zayne x reader #lnds #lnds zayne #zayne x you #love and deepspace zayne

[dangermousie]

2023 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

Yes, we have a some of December left, and I want to check out Death's Game but whatever. I got time for this now and not sure if I will have later so here goes.

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list. This was an excellent kdrama year, the likes of which we hadn't had in a long time.

DRAMAS WATCHED

In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality so pls don't come for me, fans of some popular dramas that are on my nope list. Also, I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list.

33. The Escape of the Seven - this is so aggressively stupid and mean that it feels like the makers are playing a practical joke seeing how much their audience will take. This has a season 2 coming, so the answer is a lot.

32. Behind Your Touch - the FL gets superpowers by touching people's and animals' butts. Yes, you read this right. Do I really need to add anything?

31. King the Land - yes, it was a hit. Yes, it stars popular actors. I HATED IT LIKE IT TOUCHED MY BUTT TO GET SUPERPOWERS!!! Plastic people in paint by the numbers story, with about as much genuineness or retability as a barbie aisle in walmart. I never expect much from Yoona so whatever, but to have LJH go from The Red Sleeve to this boggles the mind.

30. Mrs Durian - this is so dumb that I think I lost a few IQ points watching this, but its insanity becomes entertaining - I mean what kdrama can you name where a daughter in law declares her love and lust for her mother in law at a family dinner?

29. The Matchmakers - there is nothing offensive about this drama at all. But there is nothing in the least interesting either. If elevator music took drama shape, it would be this show.

28. Destined with You - sorry, Rowoon, I am still fond of you, but you are two for two in drama duds department this year. This is a drama where I loved ep 1, liked ep 2, was indifferent to 3 and...you get the point. Each ep was worse than the one before, and I bailed before I was dragged into a cosmic singularity.

27. Oasis - great first two episodes. Unfortunately it was not a two ep show. The performances are solid but the story is just not there - the effect is like a fancy chef making an amazing sauce to put on pig slop.

26. Boyhood - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like it but a 34-year old playing a high schooler in a Weak Hero Class 1 Slapstick Edition is no go for me.

25. Castaway Diva - it's so precious and kooky in the most annoying ways, with the most well-adjusted abused castaway in history. I like magic realism when done by Jorge Amado, but this ain't Amado.

24. Island - it had a good concept, good cast and fun visuals but the execution deserved one of ML's swords through the neck.

23. The Worst of Evil - if I wanted an American show, I'd watch one. Very solid performances though.

22. Song of the Bandits - period edition of what I said about The Worst of Evil.

21. Welcome to Samdalri - and goodbye to any hope of emotional involvement.

20. Joseon Attorney - I have yet to like a single sageuk centered around a profession and this was not an exception. I guess it could be worse but it also could have been so much better.

19. Twinkling Watermelon - everyone loved this drama. Everyone except for me. It's the kind of precious that sets my teeth on edge and I couldn't stand half the main characters we were supposed to root for. I guess I like my fruits to shine steadily.

18. Our Blooming Youth - probably the biggest disappointment on this list. This is not a bad drama by any means, but with that cast and that story (I loved the novel), I was hoping for a memorable sageuk not merely all right.

17. Vigilante - it has the emotional complexity and nuance of a punch to the throat but it gives us quasi-gay openly-murderous dudes going after psychos and Yoo Ji Tae holding feral Nam Joo Hyuk by his hoodie at his feet.

16. The Forbidden Marriage - expected nothing but it was a surprisingly enjoyable trifle of a costume drama that was also quite pretty.

15. Arthdal Chronicles: Sword of Aramun - a hot mess but such an entertaining epic one. And it gave us TWO Lee Jun Kis in period gear and who am I to cavil at the bounty of God?

14. The Story of Park's Marriage - it's a trifle, a souffle, so light it might blow away, but it keeps my attention and is so fun and sweet.

13. My Lovely Liar - a huge surprise, that manages to mix a murder mystery and a romcom, and shocked me by showing Hwang Minhyun can act.

12. Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - the original ToNT was my fave drama of its year and I did not think it needed a sequel. But this is not a sequel but more of a side-quel and is such a total delight with brotherly love, adventures, romance and hijinks. It's a joy.

11. Perfect Marriage Revenge - it's actually very hard to do a soap right but this slim 12 ep drama managed. So fun, so crazy, such a good ship!

10. My Lovely Boxer - not really about sports, but about two broken people finding salvation because of and in each other. Also, if you like age gap romances, this is delicious. Sort of loses steam by the end but c’est la vie.

9. The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - this was a sageuk that was not on my radar with a bunch of actors I was not familiar with but it took my heart away. A good plot that was perfectly paced, characters and ships I adored, a logical ending. This is one of the biggest positive surprises of the year for me.

8. Tell Me That You Love Me - a slice of life remake (sort of, it's more "inspired by") of my favorite jdrama of all time. It's not as good as the jdrama because nothing could be, but it's an aching lovely story with some incredible performances.

7. See You In My 19th Life - funny and romantic and haunting and hopeful and odd. This was one of my favorites of the year.

6. Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow - it's rare for me to like a (1) sequel (2) with FL actress change (3) that is a Hong Sisters drama. But this was such a gorgeous, surprisingly achy story of love and loss and love regained with some cool monster fighting in the middle. Between the two seasons, this is the first Hong Sisters' drama I enjoyed from beginning to end in well over a decade.

5. My Demon - so tropey (chaebols, supernaturals) but it proves that these tropes are popular for a reason. The chemistry is fire, the story is unpredictable and the whole thing is an addictive delight. A rare drama where I like each new ep more than the last one.

4. Goryeo Khitan War - an old school sageuk in every meaning of the term (no romance, no eye candy, lots of bearded men, battles and politics), this feels like watching an epic movie more than a drama. The vast cast all earns their place and the performances (mainly from character actors given a chance to shine) are incredible.

3. Call It Love - two very very damaged people finding love and healing with each other. This is a narrative very hard to do to my satisfaction but when it's done well, as here, there are few things that can hold a candle to it.

2. My Dearest - a masterpiece of cinematography, narrative, performances. This is an old-school epic romance in the best sense of the term. If it doesn't make you swoon or break your heart, there is something wrong with you. A story of two untraditional, strong-willed, flawed people who fall in love in the middle of the horrifying Qing invasion of Korea and have to deal with all that the world throws at them, this is a bona fide masterpiece.

1 - Moon in the Day - who knew my favorite kdrama of the year will star a store brand Domyoji from Extraordinary You and an actress I was never familiar with. But this part period/part modern fantasy tale of doomed cursed lovers is everything I knew I wanted and everything I didn't know I wanted but did. Two lovers where their love did not save them and in modern day it might not again, has got me obsessed the way I haven't been in years.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Moon in the Day - if there is such a thing as a drama made perfectly for me, this gorgeous, emotionally haunting, utterly romantic, twisty tale is it.

WORST DRAMA

The Escape of the Seven. This drama is proof that demons exist and not sexy ones like Song Kang but horrible nasty ones who delight in the torment this hot mess inflicted on its viewers.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Ha, Moon in the Day - a Silla general and a consummate killer who committed atrocities on the orders of his monster father and yearned to die for them, who found the meaning in life in loving his enemy but it did not make him better, a man so obsessed he literally was around for 1500 years of horrifying ghostly existence and still went "worth it" for a woman who killed him as long as he knew she loved him while she did it. He's intense and competent and beyond fucked up and has never had a normal day and I love him so so so very much from a safe distance.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Gil Chae, My Dearest - she starts out as vain and spoiled but the horrors that break so many others bring out all her fierce survivor potential and she becomes such a force of nature - capable of incredible love but also sacrifice and strength and compassion.

Runner Up: Shin Hye Sun's reincarnator in See You In My 19th Life - quirky, damaged, strong, so odd and so vulnerable at once.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

There are a lot of characters who fit that category (King Injo in My Dearest? My God) but the crown belongs to So Ri Bu from Moon in the Day. You think you've seen abusive parents but until you've seen a man abuse his son his whole life and then continue for 1500 years after his death, you ain't seen nothing!

FAVORITE SHIP

The doomed by the narrative OTP of Moon in The Day. Only thing that's better than enemies to lovers is enemies while lovers and their impossible relationship where her killing him is a supreme act of love and his refusing to let go is so strong that he stays around for 1500 years watching her, helpless as she dies over and over again, is everything you ever want.

Runner up: Jang Hyun/Gil Chae, My Dearest. They are so strong and so damaged and it takes them so long to figure out what they feel and what the other person feels but their love and sacrifice and complexities are perfect.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Kim Shi Yeol/Hong Joo, The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - an assassin bodyguard pretending to be a carefree scholar and a widow of the man he killed to protect his king (and whose life was destroyed as a result.) I enjoyed the main OTP of this drama but I was utterly and completely unhinged for the secondary couple.

I'd have probably picked Rang and his mermaid from TotNT 1938 even over them, but they really were the main OTP of that drama.

NOTP

King the Land couple seems like an easy target but honestly, they are both so terribly bland and antiseptic and marketing by committee, they kinda deserve each other. So I am gonna go with Destined with You, one half of which thinks supernaturally roofying someone into loving them is cute and the other half thinks dating one woman while wooing another is totally a-ok. Ugh.

FAVORITE SCENE

There is no competition for the scene in the slave market in My Dearest, where Jang Hyun finds Gil Chae - the way he screams and tries to clutch the hem of her skirt will live in my head forever.

And the scene where he 'wins' that horrifying bet, or the scene where she finds him in a pile of bodies - they are as good also. Or when he fights off a squad to protect her even though he's sick. That whole drama is perfect.

Runner up: the scene of Do Ha executing Ri Ta's family, covered in blood, as she looks at him from the crowd in Moon in the Day.

Or the scene where he talks about how he cannot live as a person but at least maybe she will kill him and he will die as one. Or when her confession in the past intercuts with his walking in the present, or when he comes home in his bloodied armor and she finds he has a fever and it's the first tender touch he's probably ever known. Her murdering So Ri Bu saying she knows she's going against filial piety in loving her parents' murderer, the way they hug, both bloody, as he says "let's live." The way she says she can't go on as she's hit rock bottom and he replies she cannot quit because she must accompany him to his rock bottom now. Honestly, the drama is a font of amazingness.

Also, the opening scene of Goryeo Khitan War or the scene of Yang Gyu ordering to shoot the captives and having to do so himself.

The OTP meeting again at the intersection at the end of ep 1 of Tell Me That You Love Me. SHS comforting ABH as he's having a traumatic breakdown in 19th Life. The love-making scene in Call It Love. There were a lot of great scenes this year.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Lee Jang Hyun, My Dearest - is that even a competition? He's flawed - vain, often emotionally closed off, not great at processing emotions, lashing out when hurt. He is also incredibly heroic in a real, knows the cost but bears it, kind of way. Whatever he does, he commits utterly but it's never without understanding the cost. He felt both larger than life and utterly real. He went through hell and maintained his soul and the way he loved Gil Chae was breath-taking to behold.

Runner Up: Yang Gyu, Goryeo Khitan War - an experienced military commander who wins an impossible victory even as it ravages his soul. Competence is sexy as fuck.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Rang, Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - 1938 really was Rang's chance to shine and he took it. For a character I started out disliking in the original, he really stole my entire heart in this drama. I am so glad he got his happy ending with his brother and his girl.

Runner Up: Crown Prince, My Dearest. He started out as a sheltered, spoiled aristocrat, convinced the world owed him for existing. He grew up slowly and painfully into an amazing man. And then was murdered for it and I cried.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Arthdal - it leaves the story at a good stopping point but it's very much a "world in flux, adventures and conflicts continue" ending and I would love to see more of these characters. I know we won't but it would have been nice.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Behind Your Touch - should have been snipped at birth.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Vigilante - I don't mean it had scissors taken to it because it's not cdrama and there is no NRTA, but this drama would have benefitted from being longer. I mean, I love fights and gay polycules as much as the next tumblr person but a bit more character development would not have come amiss. (ahaha - I said come. Leave me alone.)

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

I don't care about cops/doctors/trash collectors/whoever - workplace drama centering on their "cases" needs to die. I hate procedurals from any country and Korea is no exception.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Supernatural critter devoted to their OTP with all the power of their long life.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Our Blooming Youth - it was far from terrible but it was a giant meh. I was so excited to see Park Hyung Sik in a sageuk (that wasn't the hot mess that was Hwarang) and I adored the source novel. It actually started well and then...it's like Revenge of the Beige!

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

I want to say Moon in the Day but to be honest, I was excited by posters and trailers so it wasn't wholly a surprise despite not having much of an opinion on the actors before I saw them. So I am going to say My Demon. I was bored by the trailers, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a Kim Yoo Jung drama and before this year I would have said Song Kang was an incredibly limited actor in everything I've seen him in and not appealing to me at all. And here I am rabidly rabiding for this drama!

If I am not limiting myself to dramas but can use this for actors - Hwang Minhyun in My Lovely Liar. I genuinely did not think the man could act and then he gave such a pitch-perfect, nuanced performance out of nowhere!

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have actually watched all the kdramas that aired this year that I wanted to check out except for Evilive. I am saving this for when I have time.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

I don't know if I'd say it's the best but Say You Love Me (2004) with Kim Rae Won as a quasi monk seduced away from his true love by an evil older woman was a hell of a ride.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Love Song for Illusion (Lady assassin falls for her royal target who has two personalities), Captivating the King (lady spy falls for her royal target who is tormented) - notice a theme? Also Flower that Blooms at Night because Honey Lee in a sageuk, The Life of Mrs Ock (Lim Ji Yeon in a sageuk), The Love Story of Chun Hwa (an "erotic" sageuk, hmmmm, what?!), Hong Rang (Lee Jae Wook in a super angst sageuk), Queen Woo (that cast and set in Goguryeo!), Wong Kyung (about Lee Bang Won's wife and I love the cast.) Basically, if it's period, I am there with bells on.

#kdrama #year in review #my dearest #moon in the day #call it love #tell me that you love me #goryeo khitan war #tale of the nine tailed 1938 #tale of the nine tailed: 1938 #The Secret Romantic Guesthouse #my demon #the story of park's marriage contract #perfect marriage revenge #Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow #see you in my 19th life #my lovely boxer

[miredball]

Some Mikey and Sydney Paper Parallels in Season One of The Bear—a few of notes:

Mikey’s death notice and Sydney’s resume both appear in the pilot episode of the series. Mikey’s appear first, informing us of a loss. The bible verse in context refers to a most faithful servant Daniel who is judged ‘innocent’ by God and freed from a lion’s den. The first line of the verse reads “My God hath sent his angel…”

A scene or two later Sydney appears in the kitchen with a resume in hand, effectively a proof of life.

Both Mikey and Sydney leave recipes for Carmy to find. Both of those frames are from the last episode of Season One. Do with that what you will.

The shot of Sydney walking in + the close-up of Carmy’s reaction so purposefully mirrors that flashback of Mikey in the kitchen looking back at Carmy. The latter evokes the idea that this may be Carmy’s last memory of his brother: in the kitchen, a flash of a smile, his back to him. The harsh bright yellow light seems like it might expand any minute and completely envelop this memory until it’s blank and forgotten; maybe this memory is close to fading and the bright light ahead of Mikey has come to take him. Carmy looks a little lost.

Meanwhile, when Sydney walks in the image is clearer—Carmy is clearer and more certain. It is his face that lights up and fills the frame. Set in a kitchen, and met with a similar flash of a smile, here Carmy is seeing a new kind of hope. Sydney returns and brings in the possibility of a future, a salvation from the ruins of his brother and the bones of his life’s work. Again: “My God hath sent his angel…”

As if a little bow to wrap it up, only with Sydney alongside him does Carmy make his and his brother’s dream come to life. The drawing escapes its frame, becomes three-dimensional, it gains a name. The dream becomes real because of Sydney.

P.S. Of course Sydney’s arc and meaning as a character does not revolve around the Berzattos. She has her own histories and pain as seen in these parallels, however thematically she serves as a kind of index to Mikey. Her being new to that kitchen reminds us of what is old, what has passed. Though Mikey kinda lives through her ambition, Sydney lives NOW. She is symbolic of a future. She is *the* future. And because of what she symbolizes, we want Carmy to propel himself forward and join her. Jury’s still out on that.

#in the words of one troy bolton: ‘East High changed when you got there’ #prediction that the bear s3 will work on fulfilling the other half of that troy bolton quote: ‘…now it’s changed again because you left’🤫 #this was a whole lot of nothing but in the spirit of emmys wins I wanted to get ut across that syd and carmy ARE tied at the hip NARRATIVEL #she is undeniably a BIG part of his future. might be the whole thing actually #anyways gonna go on a months-long sabbatical again #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #michael berzatto #the bear #the bear season one #sydney x carmy #sydcarmy #parallels

[horreurscopes]

So, I could be out-of-bounds here since I think you meant it as dark humor, but what did you mean in the tags of that 'israel-hamas war' post? I suspect you(and op) are criticizing that framing because Israel is obviously demolishing much more than 'Hamas'(and probably doing a terrible job of actually targeting terrorists- they seem content to reduce Gaza to rubble even if the brass of Hamas escapes). I'm guessing that by saying "joining the Israel-Hamas war on the side of Hamas" you mean, if they're going to conflate Palestinians with Hamas unilaterally, then you're saying, whatever the media wants to call Palestinian civilians- you still support them. I am asking anyways though bc, given reports of increasing antisemitic activity in the US and Europe, I am worried about the potential for blurring lines between the cause of Palestinian civilians and the alt-right individuals who are likely masking their antisemitism in the context of being anti-Zionist. Although Israel's government has been the source of Palestinian loss for decades, (it seems to me that) even joking about supporting terrorism is enough to reinforce the persuasion that Israeli/Palestinian Jews and Palestinian Arabs must be mutually-exclusive peoples. I don't think it's fully rational per se(tho I'm not claiming to have all the relevant information myself, and I'm white US American goyim so like- grain of salt-), but I think that existential fear is the incredible hurdle facing Zionist Jews. (Idc too much about the opinions of non-Jewish Zionists bc I don't grant that they are dealing with the same emotional complications at this time, although that doesn't stop me from arguing w my acquaintances abt their callous acceptance of US/Israeli propaganda.) I just think..... isn't it overall harmful to allow anti-semitic rhetoric, even used sarcastically, to enter the genuine humanist cause for Palestinian liberation? Or, have I misunderstood, and you actually are not in opposition to Hamas, or something else I didn't think of?

hi! thank you for approaching the question thoughtfully and with curiosity, i really appreciate it. i was being kind of flippant with that meme, but this is the only ask i'm going to reply to on the matter given that i am neither jewish nor arab, so i'm going to answer in earnest:

hamas is a political resistance movement with an armed wing, much like the black panthers party was, and like the bpp, a large part of the organization is dedicated to social welfare and civic restoration.

they have stated that they are not against judaism, but against the zionist project. they openly support political solutions.

labeling hamas a terrorist group is a propaganda tactic used by the united states and israel to justify the horrors of settler colonization.

hamas is palestine, a part of it, even if palestinians like any other demographic on earth, are not a unified, single-minded people. to declare hamas a separate entity falls prey to the imperialist lie that there is an enemy to fight "fairly" within the people they are displacing and exterminating.

am i rejoicing in the deaths of israelis? of course not. killing civilians and taking civilian hostages is a war crime, whether it is committed by the opresor or the oppressed. the israeli government is not its people, and many jews, within israel as well as in the US, are bravely risking their lives to publicly dissent the criminal acts of the israeli government. all loss of human life is a tragedy.

no one should ever be faced with the choice between annihilation and murderous violence after exhausting all other forms of peaceful protest and being massacred like animals.

but why is it that we consider a resistance group formed within a population with a median age of eighteen a terrorist group, and not the IDF, a US-backed military force with an annual budget of twenty billion dollars?

i am currently reading hamas and civil society in gaza by sara roy to learn more about hamas and the history of israel in palestine. i'll remember to post more excerpts which i am admittedly terrible at.

but all of the information above can be found by reading wikipedia. investigating with duckduckgo searches (not gonna pretend google isn't prioritizing propaganda, to be fair), and reading reliable news coverage like aljazeera and the many journalists who are at risk of, or have lost their lives, reporting on the ground.

i have also appreciated reading posts from @determinate-negation @opencommunion @fairuzfan @ibtisams and @bloglikeanegyptian amongst others

in conclusion:

#palestine

[kalfui]

been thinking about aroace alastor a lot, in the sense that ofc this is simply canon and i wouldnt even BE thinking about it beyond a simple "woohoo this is fun, let's think about how that might have affected him and his relationships both whilst alive and after his death and fic and art and the usual joy of character analysis" if it weren't for the fact that it seems to be a flipping fight to just. Have that canon be acknowledged, which is taking up so much energy that it's honestly hard for me to enjoy him as much as I wish, considering this rep is supposed to be For people like me

and I think that's so much of my frustration around all of this, which IS mitigated by just finding a few chill people to follow and focusing on that -- but even then most of my "suggested for you" for this show is alastor x [insert any random main character] shipping/sexual content -- is that this is an offering for people to learn something new and delve into experiences that they may not have thought much about and the ones who know what aroace means, and in particular within the realms of how this character is being written within this particular very-sex-heavy universe (so, not so different from real life), by and large decided to just go "nah." people aren't interested in aroace experiences, and it's weird from a "so you just don't like a large part of this character's canon traits then, do you like the actual character, or just the OC you've made up in your head that happens to look like them?" perspective, but mostly for me it's that a lot of the way people talk/write about this it's like aroaceness is something that needs to be Fixed Somehow, and thank Goodness there's a neat little loophole that we can utilise in the form of "well sooooome aroace people do want to have sex and be in a relationship"

so many of the things I can't help but see, block, move on from, and in the ao3 alastor tag (which, it's frankly wild to me that aroace alastor has to be a specific tag, because so much of it ISN'T that, and even then we have to sift) is either just the equivalent of going "lalalala if I don't think about the aroaceness it's not real" or the even more disturbing "now how do we fix this so that the ace character can still fuck somehow." it's really creepy, and very much how people talk about aspec people irl. it's just incredibly poor taste and shows that this community is still so invisible

people really ought to think more about why this is such an important hill for them to die on that they want to Fix aroaceness in one of the only genre-fiction characters to be canonically such, ON a show where every other character enthusiastically enjoys sex and most of them are in established relationships or various slowburns -- why is the character that is not interested the one that is shipped with every other character to such an extreme?

I feel like anyone writing an aroace alastor that mysteriously can be compelled into sex and a romantic relationship needs to give me a 3000 page essay on the history and philosophy of aspec identities with a special section on aroace representation in media

but ultimately it's just a "look. please be kinder. if you look in our sandbox we have barely any toys, why are you coming into this sandbox to take more of them and then rubbing our faces in it and THEN being rude to aspec people when we say it makes many of us uncomfortable to be sidelined like this?"

I keep thinking of that one screenshot that was going around tumblr of the person who wrote straight brokeback mountain fic that everyone was going WTF about. why is it alright to "headcanon" away canon aroaceness (and mock people who point out its canonicity), but it's largely agreed to be in poor taste to do so with other canonically established queer identities?

I get fandom's not activism, but it sure sometimes can be a yardstick for how much I'd trust people to respect me irl, when I cannot enjoy aroace escapism without being talked over/mocked/yelled at AND having aspec theories appropriated without any understanding of what they actually mean or how they apply -- this history and community is a part of my life, and it's like people are just traipsing mud through it with the lack of respect for it (as lucifer would say "you come into MY house bitch???")

(apologies this got long. you don't have to post if you don't want to, I get that it could be inflammatory and don't want to put that on you, I've just been needing to vent. I just feel like I'm going a bit crazy with how nigh-impossible it is to avoid this -- why am I the one who's having to make all that extra effort to enjoy a character written with my community in mind? don't y'all have enough toys???)

Don't apologize, I absolutely love reading how others feel about this situation, and I completely agree.

I think it's sad how people don't want to think about a characters aroaceness and how it affects them and instead just throw that part of them out of the window. I think it's even more interesting since Alastor canonically thinks that he's straight, but hasn't found the right one yet.

"Headcanoning" a canonically aroace character a different sexuality is so.. I don't even have a word it. Many people "headcanon" Alastor a different sexuality, but keep it canon when it's Angel Dust or Vaggie. Personally, I think it stems from aphobia. Just like you mentioned, people feel the need to "fix" aroace characters, like their sexuality is a messed up or broken part of them. It reminds me of when I used to hear teachers talk about how everyone will someday find love, and the ones who don't will have a huge gap in their heart and be empty. It's quite terrifying just how similar it is. The fact that he, as the only confirmed aroace character, is shipped the most, too, is quite saddening.

It's disturbing how they search and search for stuff to use as excuses when they ship aroace characters. "Aroace people can still date," "It's just headcanons," "Alastor is not canonically aro," and so on.

Ao3 scares me, especially with characters like Alastor. You don't even wanna know how many times I've seen people say, "I know Alastor is aroace, but we'll just ignore that" in fics. Most of the time, they even change his character completely, and he's so out of character.

It also kinda disgusts me with the stuff people say about Alastor, I can be scrolling on Tumblr and a post comes up saying how Alastor would fuck the living shit out of you and it's so fucking disturbing and graphic, I guess this is just how it is generally when people talk about fan favorite characters, but when it's an aroace character too, like.. no, he wouldn't do any of that.. It's so weird. This is what people care about, sexualizing. They don't even seem to care how much of a complex character he actually is, but only how he would be during sex, and it's quite disturbing that most of the time he is the victim to these type of comments.

And, with the amount of hate I've gotten from tiktokers in my comment replies saying how either Alastor isn't aro, how he's just fictional and it's not erasing any representation by shipping him, how aroace people can still date, how Viv allowed them to ship him, and even saying that it's okay to ship him because he's a stereotype and bad rep (???) and whatever else they have to say, I quite literally do not care. I'm not gonna be humiliated into silence, I'm not ashamed about the fact I'm trying to keep these crumbs of representation we have left. "Boohoo, you talk too much about Alastor being aroace," and I'll continue, I think that's a lovely and very interesting part about his character, especially from the time period is from, and the fact he's unaware too.

it's kinda sad how a lot of people don't even know that he's aro, I wouldn't either since all the fandom does with him is ship him. There are so many other relationships people could dive into, Husk and Angel Dust, Charlie and Vaggie, Vox and Valentino, and many more, but yet they go for the aroace character.. Also the fact that since the pilot the character he's mostly been shipped with is Angel, a character who makes a lot of sexual remarks towards Alastor which he very obviously feels repulsed and disgusted by, is kinda just.. where's the appeal when he's clearly disgusted? Is that part of it? I'm glad that there is a side of this fandom where people actually love him for his character and not just because he's attractive.

Other than that, I'm very glad the show itself knows how to show he can have meaningful friendships and platonic relationships with people, such as Rosie, and didn't make him an edgelord that hates everyone and doesn't have friends for some random reason.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me, I enjoyed reading through it, and again, I completely agree. I just hope the fandom could realize he's a lovely character and that him being aroace is just a part of him like it is of us.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #aroace #aroace alastor #aromantic #aromantism #asexual #asexuality #vivziepop #vivienne medrano #spindlehorse #angel dust #radioapple #radiostatic #radiodust #a lot of words for me #especially at 2am #i love when people tell me their thoughts in my inbox ugh its so amazing #im defo going to sleep now #aromanticism

[anxiety-pickle]

Jade + Aventurine analysis bc you guys can't read

A somewhat pretentious analysis of Jade and Aventurine by your friendly local neuroscience major (with receipts) (I am putting my academic knowledge to good uses obviously)

Let’s recap what we know about Aventurine

He is, insofar as he’s aware, the last surviving member of the Avgin people of Sigonia

Is he actually the last member? It’s unclear, but the IPC seems to think so (which will become relevant later)

The genocide of his people occured on the day of the Kakava festival, his birthday, by the Katicans, an opposing clan of the Avgins. Both the Katicans and the Avgins were exiled to the desert because of the fighting. The assorted clans of Sigonia were not willing to protect the Avgin people, and they knew that if they were to be let inside the city, the Katicans would follow

The origin of their fighting is uncertain. It is implied that none of the clans got along well. (Aventurine’s second character stor)

Why did the genocide happen? Because of the Katicans and the IPC

But wait!! I hear you yell, didn’t you just say the Katicans are the ones who killed the Avgins?

And to that I say, yes! I did! But the IPC is still the reason they died. During the 2.1 story, All the Sad Tales, during the cutscene with Kakavasha and his sister right before the massacre. 

“Little do the katicans know, this time we will fight back! The men in black that descend from the skies are on our side. The Katicans stand no chance against them…” (Kakavasha’s Sister)

This means that the Avgin people only decided to fight back because the IPC told them that they’d protect them, which they clearly did not do

The IPC also had a financial motive for getting rid of the Avgin people (and the Katicans, though that’s not relevant to the discussion)

We can see in Aventurine’s character story I, “And let’s not forget the letters from the councilors of the Sigonian Sovereignty. They denounce his tribe for once breaking arrangements and sowing discord… resulting in repeated delays in the signing of agreements between Sigonia and IPC.”

The IPC therefore had a very clear motive for deceiving the Avgin people and allowing them to enter a fight unprepared

To make matters worse, the IPC, the hub for technological advancement, medical discoveries, etc, could not save a single person? Not a single man, woman, or child could be saved? Forgive me if I find that unbelievable

“The clan launched a massive attack on the Avgin… who were under the protection of the IPC, resulting in 6,728 deaths and 3,452 missing.”

So… around 4,000 people were missing…? This brings me to my second concern:

The Katicans do not particularly strike me as the type of people who take prisoners - their goal is clearly to exterminate the Avgins

4,000 missing individuals implies that either

1) The IPC did not give a single fuck and simply decided not to search for them (didn’t bother collecting their bodies, tracking down the Katicans who took them, giving them proper burials, etc), or,

2) The IPC DOES know where they are, and decided to mark them as missing persons

As far as real-world tragedies go, I am not inclined in the slightest to give the IPC any benefits of the doubt. These are the same guys who nuked Boothill’s planet. And are currently extorting Belobog. And canonically forced Topaz’s planet into indentured servitude (and were likely going to try the same with Belobog). We don’t even know the full extent of the damage they’ve caused, honestly, and I don’t think we ever will.

After the genocide, there is an unspecified period of time between Kakavasha’s escape and his enslavement. The ‘indifferent man’ in his quest calls him a “scrawny brat”, so he was probably a teenager/young adult at that time. It’s unclear what his history was prior to that point, however we do know:

Indifferent male: “The guys in black didn’t say much…”

…the guys in black? As in, the IPC? Those are the EXACT WORDS that Kakavasha calls the IPC workers multiple times throughout the quest

It also means that he bought him from the IPC

So, at the VERY LEAST one department of the IPC was involved in human trafficking

It would make sense if the IPC had somehow captured him at some point, as he would’ve been like. An unsupervised 7yo in the desert. And of course, upon realizing someone survived the massacre, decides to ‘maximize profit’, for lack of a better word

It’s unclear to me currently why the case of Kakavasha tricking the IPC and the Intelligentsia guild is called the “Eghazyo Aventurine case” because this would have happened before Kakavasha became Aventurine, unless this is a mistake or mistranslation. The voiceover seemed to imply that the name of the case was aired during the time that Kakavasha was testifying, so I doubt that it’s called the Aventurine case because Kakavasha became Aventurine

Another option I’ve seen is that ‘indifferent male’ is the previous Aventurine, which I can’t confirm or deny, though it seems likely

Only thing that doesn’t make sense to me is that if he was the previous Aventurine, why would he call his fellow IPC workers “men in black?” Does anyone know if there are other instances of IPC workers calling each other this?

Aventurine is forced, by ‘indifferent male’ to kill 34 other slaves. He essentially Hunger Games’d 35 people. It’s also implied that it was broadcasted, because other people were betting on it and were making comments about he “looked good”.

At some point, Aventurine manages to trick the IPC and Intelligentsia guild into believing that the remains of Tazzyronth (or the Sand King) are buried in the unclaimed Sigonian desert, costing the IPC billions of dollars and eventually killing the man who bought him (rightfully so)

After that point, he’s taken to trial before Jade, where he strikes a deal: he gets off death row if he proves to be a good investment

Now, let me make myself clear: Jade did not save Aventurine from shit. Aventurine got himself out of a horrible situation by any means he had available to him, and those means happened to involve leveraging his situation and putting his life on the line to prove to Jade he was a worthy investment. I’ve seen people try to argue that ‘joining the IPC is what Aventurine wanted’ but I think this is a shallow and disingenuous argument because it removes the context of his decision entirely. He did that because he felt cornered, and then, presumably, because he hoped he could use the power within the IPC to protect other Avgin people (which is why he asks after them in his character story). I also saw people saying that Aventurine deserved to be on trial…. Which is certainly an interesting opinion. Mind you, the man who Aventurine killed was responsible for the deaths of 34+ people and was actively buying human beings on the black market, so as far as I’m concerned killing him was an act of public good.

A few more things to clear up about this situation:

In the IPC broadcast about the Eghazyo Aventurine case, it conveniently leaves out that Aventurine was enslaved, probably because that could influence public opinion; additionally, I think the erasure of the whole ‘slave’ thing was just to cover their own ass because they knew that shit wouldn’t fly

Aventurine was not ‘in control’ of this situation; too many of you don’t understand what coercion is and that scares the hell out of me. He killed that man because that was the only way he could be free, and after that the IPC sentenced him to death. It isn’t a choice when your only other option is death. It baffles me that people think this.

Jade does not give a single fuck about Aventurine beyond what he provides to the IPC because she cannot conceptualize relationships or the value of human life outside of a transactional purpose, which tracks with her being a debt collector…

Jade literally says, and I quote, “A servant should obey his master”. For the people in the back, A SERVANT SHOULD OBEY HIS MASTER. Who the fuck says that. Even if she isn’t personally involved with whatever human trafficking the IPC has going on (which I seriously doubt she isn’t at least aware of, given her rank), she sympathizes with a literal slave owner over his victim which is genuinely insane.

Something also incredibly important: Aventurine had no legal defense

Like… none at all? I’m not overly familiar with the US legal system, but even in this case I feel like there would be some kind of self-defense justification. Like. He bought people. On the black market. And then made them kill each other. I don’t think killing him warrants a death sentence for Kakavasha (especially one that holds over once he’s a Stoneheart)

This extreme overreaction on behalf of the IPC probably also has something to do with him not having an ‘interastral refugee travel permit’ (mentioned in the first broadcast message during All the Sad Tales) which also begs the question what in the godamn fuck is an interastral refugee travel permit. I can only assume that the IPC is handing out these ‘travel permits’.... Which also means that they are directly responsible (for the sole survivor of a genocide THEY caused) not having one

The fact that the legal system is structured like this does not surprise me at all. It was stacked against him from the beginning and we need to stop pretending this was a power play on Aventurine’s part rather than a desperate last ditch attempt at some form of freedom

Additionally, Aventurine’s banner is literally called “gilded imprisonment” and his light cone is called “inherently unjust destiny” like they literally could not make it more obvious. He just exchanged his old shackles for shinier ones :/

Something else I’d like to point out: Penacony has a grand overarching theme of “a cage is still a cage”; in fact, Himeko says that verbatim in 2.2! I think that’s also important to consider when looking at this situation. 

Also, Aventurine also feels so little autonomy that he was literally willing to kill himself to escape. Like full stop kill himself. His future self tells him that “death” is the only real freedom he will ever experience, and I think that alone demonstrates that the IPC has done nothing more but lengthened his leash. I don’t think it’s fair at all to claim that any of this is what he “wanted” or that he’s like. Enjoying himself. Because 2.1 makes it so abundantly clear that he’s fucking miserable. Like you’re aware that this is still coercion right. What do you think happens if he stops performing well? What do you think the IPC will do to him if he is no longer producing money for them? Quickly. Look me in my eyes

Now onto the elephant in the room: Jade herself

Personally I find her character design gross fetish-bait, but to each their own I guess. It’s not really my business if you like her character for whatever reason. I’m not saying that you can’t enjoy her character, but I do think people should be examining their reasons for liking her a little more closely. Or at the very least not making jokes about slavery. That is very strange. 

I’ve seen a lot of people say that we should reserve judgment for what her character is like until after she’s out; I disagree. I think we have everything we need. (This is coming from someone who could see Aventurine’s backstory from a mile away and predicted it in 2.0. So far my track record is unblemished but if you don’t want to take my word for it I have evidence).

Let’s take a look at her eidolons:

E1: Altruism? Nevertheless Tradable

E2: Morality? Herein Authenticated

E3: Honesty? Soon Mortgaged

E4: Sincerity? Put Option Only

E5: Hope? Hitherto Forfeited

E6: Equity? Pending Sponsorship

That’s a mouthful, right?

Eidolons are supposed to be the truest reflection of one’s soul and provide us information on the character themself. All of her eidolons reference a kind of transactional relationship - in which she evaluates concepts like altruism, morality, and honesty on a scale of how much worth she can drag out of them. This is consistent with what we’ve seen from her character so far. I find the specific statements ‘Hope? Hitherto Forfeited’ and ‘Equity? Pending Sponsorship’ to be… so sinister lmao. Like she is straight up saying the quiet part out loud. Now let’s compare her eidolons to Aventurine’s:

Aventurine’s E1: Prisoner’s Dilemma.

The Prisoner’s Dilemma game theory wherein two people, separated, must cooperate for mutual benefit, or betray their partner for an individual reward. This perfectly reflects Aventurine and Ratio’s plan in 2.1, and goes to emphasize the importance of trust that Aventurine has. 

Aventurine’s E4: The Unexpected Hanging Paradox

At first inspection, the ‘unexpected hanging paradox’ appears to be a regular thought experiment, but actually has to do heavily with probability. The Unexpected Hanging Paradox entails a situation where a criminal is sent to death, however the Judge does not tell the prisoner which day he will be executed on, only that the executioner should ‘surprise him’ over the course of the next week. The prisoner therefore concludes that he will not be executed because it will be impossible to surprise him based on a game of probability. This directly references Aventurine’s experience in court both as Kakavasha, on trial for murder, and when he confronts Sunday.

We can see here that eidolons are absolutely reflective of character goals, intentions, and thoughts. Jade’s eidolons are based entirely on a manipulative, exploitative worldview. Whether or not her worldviews include herself are up for interpretation at this point, but it’s obvious to me that she sees Aventurine as an investment and not a person. The first thing she comments when she sees Aventurine is how pretty his eyes are - immediately assigning material value to his body, which is especially gross considering she is well aware that he was enslaved. 

Then, at the end of 2.2, she makes another cameo - and Aventurine does not seem to receive her well. Understandably so. He mentions wanting to “escape her” during his phone call, providing us with insight into his framework and how he perceives her. He literally uses the word ‘escape’. He does NOT like her. Jade proceeds to call him “child”, which I interpret as at least partially demeaning. She also didn’t seem to care at all when she thought he died in 2.1, so I’m not really sure where anyone got the idea that they were close. 

As another note on Jade’s character design before I wrap up, I personally find it extremely uncomfortable that she has a whip. Again, I’m not going to tell anyone that you can’t enjoy her character, but there are definitely some extremely strange undertones that hyv is leaning into that I really don’t appreciate. I also think the greater reception of Jade’s character deserves its own post because I don’t even know where to start with that. 

So, giving Jade EVERY benefit of the doubt, we can conclude that she: she ONLY knows about the enslavement - but has no personal ties - and does not care, does not appear to care that her colleagues were participating in human trafficking (specifically seemed more put-off about the lack of revenue than the various human rights violations, which makes sense because she doesn’t seem to care about any of the other human rights violations, such as nuking planets, either), would have had no problem sentencing him to death had he not been a company asset, implied that slavery is good, claimed that she didn’t know why Aventurine would kill the person who owned him because it ‘didn’t benefit him’, is participating in the repossession of Penacony by the IPC, is a debt collector (derogatory), did not gaf that her colleague was going on a suicide mission, and did not gaf when her colleague presumably died. 

Footnote: Before you start, no disliking Jade but liking Aventurine is not misogynistic (and that accusation is, in itself, misogynistic), yes, it is disingenuous to claim that Aventurine was not coerced, it is also disingenuous to claim that the IPC had no knowledge of the human trafficking, yes you can still like her. Idgaf. And stop making jokes about racism and slavery, it’s weird and I think your brain should be studied in a lab so that doctors can determine what is wrong with you

In conclusion:

Media literacy is dead and the hsr fandom killed it. 

#hsr #hsr jade #hsr aventurine #i hate it here #i should've known better than to get into another hyv fandom

[loud-whistling-yes]

All i know is the Season 9 of Hermitcraft, hc x dsmp crossover and Tilly do us apart. The rest you mention is foreign to me. So yeah and also I agreed that no person should see the entirety of dsmp history. Like damn... many things have occur in a short period of time?!

Glad you've asked! Here is a list of things part of mcyt history that has happened in the last 4 years:

Hermitcraft season 7 will be 4 years old in a month (February 2020)

The dsmp will be 4 too in a few months (April 2020)

Dream SMP War by Sadist, the video that caused one of the largest surges of popularity for the dsmp, turns 4 in August

Doomsday celebrated it's 3rd anniversary about a week ago (6th January 2021)

Yes. Almost ALL of the dsmp story up to that point happened within the span of about 5 months. From the VERY BEGINNING OF THE DISC SAGA TO THE TOTAL DESTRUCTION OF LMANBURG. It all took place from July to early January. What the fuck.

3rd life will be turning 3 in April (April 2021)

Penismp turns 3 in May. I cannot stress this enough. Remember the fake smp that predated goncharov BY A FUCKING YEAR AND A HALF and trended 3rd on Tumblr for 2 days straight??? That was almost 3 years ago now.

The surge of popularity for Passerine happens around May of 2021, following Sadist's animation Sunsprite's Eulogy

Empires season 1 will be 3 years old in June

Hermitcraft season 8 will also be 3 in June (exactly one week apart! Esmp started on 12th June while hcs8 started on the 19th)

Yes, you heard it right, the life series and empires predate season 8! Pearl and Gem became hermits roughly a week AFTER the cactus ring.

June 2021 is ALSO the month where MCC Pride 2021 took place. Y'know, the one with Wilbur's office on fire and technoblade getting nicknamed Tech by grian. THIS IS ALSO turning 3 this year. June 2021 was a wild month.

Techno's escape from prison will be 3 years old this year too. September fucking 2021. It's been 3 years since this happened.

The canary's curse has been a concept in the fandom for a little over 2 years now, following jimmy's final death in last life (early November 2021)

Moon Big also occurred around this time frame, which means it's turning 3 this year!

Mangoball becomes a dsmp fandom staple around early December 2021

The 2 year anniversary of @/chrisrin's curses last life animation is in 2 days! (16th January 2022)

Following the end of empires season 1, hermitcraft season 8 and the lore drought of the dsmp, this is where the big Content Drought of 2022 happens. This is where dreamempirescraft became a thing. This is also where that drawing came from.

Hermitcraft season 9 will also be 2 soon (March 2022). Longest season, everyone.

Double life is currently a year and a half old! (June 2022) Every mention of tilly, pearl being the devil, the scarlet pearl, something wicked this way comes, ALL of it, came from a year and a half ago

Yes, this means that season 9 saw the beginning and end of not one, not two, but THREE seasons of the life series. Longest season, everyone.

Speaking of longest season, anyone remember the esmp crossover? This will also turn 2 this year (November 2022)

Qsmp is about to turn a year old soon! This is less of a fact to make you feel old but a fact that makes you think "ALL THAT IN LESS THAN A YEAR?????", and you'd be right! What the fuck! How did this all happen in less than a year!

#asks #ALL of this happened because we were stuck at home for a whole year straight. do you ever think about that #whack #dream smp #hermitcraft #life series smp #empires smp #mcyt #qsmp #this isnt even going into detail over a bunch of other series! all the hardcore series! origins! empires 2! fucking tftsmp! afterlife! #how does it feel to have been part of a new age of mcyt

[abyssruler]

archons ft. reincarnation (part 2)

venti, zhongli, raiden ei x gn!reader

summary: it’s difficult to find a balance between grieving you and loving you, but somehow, they make it work.

word count: 5.8k

note: as requested by an anon, here’s part two of archons ft. reincarnation! a bit more lighthearted compared to the first part, but still plenty of angst around *side-eyes venti’s part* and i am once again being biased by giving ei the happiest ending

warning/s: spoilers for venti’s story quest, brief descriptions of past character death (reader), angst, read part one first for more context!

part one

VENTI

“What do you think of the Anemo Archon?”

“Lord Barbatos?” you ask, and Venti tries to ignore the way his heart leaps at the sound of his name on your lips, but it’s difficult to do so when you’re sitting there looking at his statue with the same wistful look you used to don as you spoke about freedom. It warms his heart to know that you associate freedom with him.

You turn your head away from the visage of the Anemo Archon, placing your hands behind your head and laying down the palms of his statue. The sight is endearing, once he considers how your roles have changed. Before, it was him who fit snugly in the palm of your hands. How the tables have turned. How he wishes it never did.

“I think he’s a bit overrated.”

Your words singlehandedly snap him out of his reverie. So absurd and surprising coming from you that a laugh escapes before he can stop it.

He knows he should probably be offended or something, but Venti agrees with you. He is a little overrated. Who knew sleeping for hundreds of years on end could make a person like him so revered? Perhaps Morax should take a leaf from his book.

“He is, isn’t he?” he says after his laughter dies down, watching you rest in the palm of his statue’s hands, as free as you always wanted to be. He wants to save this memory in a bottle and immortalize it for eternity.

“I didn’t really mean it in a bad way,” you explain. “I do like Lord Barbatos.” He tries, he really tries, but it’s difficult to keep his heart still when you say such words so casually. “I just think people shouldn’t only focus on him.”

His brows furrow. He didn’t think the people of Mondstadt only focused on him, there was Vennessa and—

“He led Mondstadt against tyranny, but he wasn’t alone, you know? Besides Vennessa, who else’s name is written in the history books who fought alongside him?” You turn to him at the end of your question.

He can tell you each of their names by order of birth, by order of age, by order of the time they died—but that isn’t what you’re asking of him.

Besides Vennessa, who else’s name is written in the history books who fought alongside him?

Perhaps this is another one of his failings as an Archon. How many does that make now?

Too much to count.

When he remains silent, you shake your head almost sadly. “No one. And I think that’s just a little unfair for them who died, only for the people they died for to forget them.”

He stares at you, your words echoing in his mind. And there’s a lump forming in his throat and something clawing in his chest to break free.

I remember! he wants to say, but the words are stuck in his throat. I remember you, I remember Amos, I remember Venti, I remember all of them!

But it would be unfair of him to reveal this to you when he vowed to keep you unburdened by the past. So instead, he lies down beside you, mirroring your position and watching the blue sky that you once longed to see two thousand and six hundred years ago. How funny, the way fate works. He never thought he’d get to watch the sky with you again.

“Maybe that’s why Lord Barbatos doesn’t come down to Mondstadt often,” he starts, voice uncharacteristically solemn. You turn your head to him curiously, but he keeps his eyes trained to the sky, because he might just break if he meets your eyes while speaking a truth known only to him. “Because he remembers, and maybe it’s too painful for him to see familiar places without the people he once knew.”

Only the sound of people below the statue can be heard after his brief explanation.

You’re quiet. Too quiet, that it almost makes him regret saying such words. Did he give out too much information? Was his voice too melancholic? Have you seen through the mask he wears and found out who he really is? (And is that hope blooming in his chest at the thought of you discovering his identity?)

But then you speak up, and your words relieve him as much as they pain him.

“Do you think he’s lonely?”

Is he lonely?

Yes.

“Maybe,” he shrugs, and it takes all he has to feign nonchalance, when all he wants is to collapse in your arms and never let go.

You shake your head fondly at his vague answer. “You seem to know a lot about Lord Barbatos.” Because I am him. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought you were religious, Venti.”

Can he be considered religious if he’s the god of said religion? “I’m not though! Did it seem that way? Hehe, I guess I got you fooled.”

You crack a smile, he wishes the sight wasn’t so familiar. “Well, even if you were, I’d be the last person to judge you for it.”

Curiosity sparks inside him at your cryptic words. “And why is that?”

An embarrassed look crosses your face, and now he’s even more intrigued. He wonders… do you remember him, even just the tiniest bit?

And if you do, does he want you to remember him?

Yes.

No.

Maybe.

He’ll settle for a vague in between.

He scoots closer to you. You’ve got him curious, and now he’s never going to leave you alone until you tell him what it is. “Ohoho, is it an embarrassing reason? Is that why you won’t tell me?”

“No! Yes—I mean—” You sigh in defeat when you catch sight of the telltale look on his face that says he’s never going to drop this until you admit your secret. “Alright, I’ll tell you.”

Venti lets out a triumphant little laugh and moves closer to you, your arms nearly squished together with your proximity. He tries to focus on how warm you feel, to really ground himself in this reality where you’re alive and well and warm, not cold and limp and dying.

“So?” he prompts.

You take a deep breath like you’re preparing to go to war. He finds it amusing how worked up you are because of this, ignoring the familiarity of the sight from when you were actually about to go to war two thousand and six hundred years ago. Your warrior, you told Venti as you donned your armor and smiled like it wasn’t the last day of your life.

“Don’t ever tell this to anyone, but…” you trail off, and he leans close to hear what you have to say. “When I was a child, I used to have the biggest crush on Lord Barbatos.”

…

Venti thinks his ears must be deceiving him.

“Uh, could you repeat that for me?”

You groan, covering your face with your hands to hide your embarrassed look. “I, I used to…” You peek through your fingers and see the wide grin forming on his lips. “Ugh. I know you heard me loud and clear, Venti! Don’t make fun of me!”

He isn’t. He really, really isn’t.

“You had a crush—” on me.

“Yes, I used to! It’s weird, I know, but…” you sigh, gazing wistfully at the sky. “I had a dream when I was a kid. It’s a bit blurry now, but in that dream, Lord Barbatos was holding me in the middle of… a war, I think. I don’t really remember much, or even what he looks like or how I even knew it was Lord Barbatos—but the way he held me in that dream… it brought comfort to me whenever I felt alone as a kid.”

The look in your eyes is reminiscent of your dying gaze thousands of years ago.

He can’t breathe.

You’re saying something to him, but he can’t hear past the wind rushing through his ears.

You remembered. You had dreamt it.

The only time he’s ever held you back then was when you were dying in his arms, having just taken the form of his friend after watching him die. Cradling you in arms that feel foreign and strange to a wind sprite like him, but forcing his newly formed limbs to obey because he couldn’t—

He couldn’t let you die feeling like you were alone.

Comfort, you said. It brought you comfort to be held in his arms. In your last dying moments, he managed to bring you even the smallest sense of comfort.

And it’s like a weight has been lifted off his chest.

Venti rolls over, slinging an arm over you and burying his face in your shoulder. You’re startled, but you still reciprocate his embrace.

“Venti…?”

“This was supposed to be a date,” he says, voice muffled just the way he wants to hide the shakiness in his tone, “But instead, you’re talking about some guy who isn’t me.” He should be taken to the courts of Fontaine for saying such an awful lie.

You huff in amusement. “Are you really getting jealous of a god?”

“Yes.”

You laugh, smoothing your hand over his hair. He leans into the familiar gesture. “Well, don’t. It’s not like he’s suddenly going to come down from Celestia and steal me from you just because he heard I had a little crush on him when I was young.”

He won’t because he already has.

“He might though,” Venti says petulantly. “I don’t trust the guy.”

“He’s literally our Archon?”

“But have you seen his face? He looks extremely untrustworthy.” It should be illegal to have this much fun slandering himself. He can’t help it though, it’s the lightest he’s felt since the fall of Old Mondstadt.

“The statues don’t even have his precise features, but from what I’ve seen…” A sly smile forms on your lips. “I think he’s pretty cute.”

Venti laughs, ignoring the pinkness of his cheeks at the unintentional compliment. “If the nuns heard you call Barbatos cute, they might just crucify you.”

“Not if they crucify you first for calling him untrustworthy,” you quip with a grin.

“Then it’s a good thing they’ll never know.”

You turn your head to his statue, a frown forming on your face. “Do you think he’ll curse us? You know, for kinda making fun of him.”

“Nope!” A gust of wind comes with his voice. “Personally, I think he’d find it rather funny.”

“I hope so.” A breathtaking smile forms on your lips. “But if he does decide to curse us, at least we’ll be cursed together.”

He hopes you never find out how true your words are. How he’s cursed you just by the simple act of loving you. Knowing you though, you’ll only shake your head at him and say how you didn’t mind being cursed.

At least we’ll be cursed together.

Venti vows to tell you the truth someday, but for now, he’ll bask in the bliss that ignorance provides and remain oblivious to the storm brewing in the sky.

✧

He never did get the chance to tell you how much you meant to him.

It weighs on his mind, even after hundreds of years. He spent most of it asleep while the world changed around him, awakening every now and then to wander Mondstadt in the hopes of finding the barest glimpse of you, but all he found was grief as he walked through places you once occupied.

Hope was a dwindling thing in his chest.

Now here he is, standing below an awning to hide from the sun’s merciless rays, waiting for this era’s mode of transportation to arrive.

A series of frantic taps on his shoulder startle him. Turning his head, he finds himself face to face with an image that leaves him both relieved and anguished.

“Hi! Sorry to bother you, but my phone just died and I really need to call my friend for something important!”

At least we’ll be cursed together.

Well, Venti thinks, frozen in place as you look at him with wide, hopeful eyes, third time’s the charm, isn’t it?

ZHONGLI

You stop, glancing over your shoulder and narrowing your eyes.

“Hey, I know you’re out there! Come out before I call the Millelith on you for stalking!”

Silence. You scan over the area again, finding nothing but trees and the occasional bird landing on a branch. It could just be your imagination playing tricks on you, but you know there’s someone out there. You’ve felt them since you stepped into this mountain to pick herbs for a commission you got.

They don’t really have any malicious intent, or at least, you don’t think they do. You’d think a person following you would have bad intentions, but so far, they seem to be content with watching from afar.

There were times when it seemed like the wind suddenly picked up, coincidentally helping you from dropping the basket of herbs in your hands, but you decided to brush it off as nothing but coincidence. This is a mountain range after all, wind currents aren’t all that uncommon.

A part of you did wonder whether it was your stalker who did that, but what kind of stalker helps the person they’re stalking?

“Fine, if you won’t show yourself, then I’ll make you show yourself,” you mutter beneath your breath. A breeze brushes past you afterwards, somehow carrying the scent of qingxin and…almonds?

Weird.

You decide to ignore it and continue down the well-worn path leading to the foot of the mountain, keeping an eye out for your mysterious stalker.

Passing by an intersection, you pause as you see a hilichurl camp by the distance.

An idea starts to form in your head.

“Hey, you know, if you don’t show yourself, I might just walk into that hilichurl camp over there!” No response. “The mountain is so vast and big, I think I’m getting lost,” you say, feigning distress in your voice. Never mind that you’ve gone through this mountain enough times to be familiar with it.

Still nothing.

Well, they’re certainly stubborn.

You pretend to look between each path in the intersection with confusion. “Oh, I forgot which way I went from, how about I ask those hilichurls over there for some directions?”

Just when you think they’re about to appear in front of you, you remain standing alone, looking rather stupid for talking to yourself. You pray to all the gods and adepti that Hu Tao never hears of this incident.

Fine. It seems you’re gonna have to do this the hard way.

Your steps are sure as you make your way to the hilichurl camp. Maybe you’re being stupid and rash, barging into a hilichurl camp because you think someone is following you. What do you even expect your stalker to do after you put yourself in danger, save you?

Yes.

You don’t know where this sudden confidence came from, but a part of you just knows that they’ll keep you safe—even if it’s completely absurd to think of considering they’re, well, stalking you.

This is probably a result of eating so much of Hu Tao’s suspicious cooking, but hey, you’re here now and there’s no going back.

A harsh breeze blows past you, almost like a warning, ruffling your hair and nearly sending the basket of herbs in your hand flying in the air. Oh, now this is your stalker.

You can’t help the grin that comes to your face. Just a little bit more and they might finally show up. You take another step, the hilichurl camp within hearing distance, the samachurl looking up from the bonfire and into your direction—

And then a hand clamps around your arm and pulls you out of sight.

The world blurs around you, and you shut your eyes to keep away the dizziness threatening to overcome your senses. When you come to, you’re finally face to face with the person who’s been following you from the moment you stepped within range of the mountain.

A frown mars his deceptively young looking face. “You are still as reckless as ever.”

You blink, the words that you’ve been preparing earlier stuck to your throat as you gaze at this boy (not a boy, your mind supplies, but you can’t help but think of him as one) who is both familiar yet not.

“Do I know you?” is what you end up saying.

Your words seem to stump him. He averts his gaze, something heavy brewing in his eyes. You don’t know how you can read a stranger like him so easily, especially since he looks passive from an outsider’s point of view, but it feels like you’ve known him your whole life.

It’s strange.

The only people that have ever made you feel like this are Zhongli, the kind Madame Ping, and the Tianquan’s overworked secretary who used to bow in deference to you until you told her it was unnecessary and a little weird.

“…No,” he says after a few moments.

You place a hand on your hip, like a parent about to scold their child. “Then why were you following me, huh?”

“I wasn’t…” he starts but then seems to realize how much of a lie that is, since he’s been stalking you for the last few hours. “I only meant to keep you safe.”

“I don’t even know who you are,” you point out.

“Yes, I know.” And something about the way he said it seems almost… sad. Melancholic.

You tilt your head, wondering why a stranger like him being sad somehow matters to you. “What’s your reason for stalking me, then?”

“Stalking—” He turns to you with furrowed brows, his tone almost offended. “I was not. My… master, asked of me to keep you safe, and I am bound by my contract to obey his word.”

“Uh-huh, sure, and it sounds like your master doesn’t know I’m taken. So if he’s trying to win me over by sending people to stalk me, tell him it won’t work.”

He tilts his head curiously, the action almost eerily similar to a bird’s. “Taken…?”

“Yes, taken. It means I’ve got a partner, love of my life, that sorta stuff,” you explain, keeping your voice light like you’re speaking to a child.

Understanding seems to dawn on him. “I see, so it must be…”

“Must be what?” you prompt.

He shakes his head, turning away from you and beginning to walk down the path you abandoned earlier in favor of going to the hilichurl’s camp. “A slip of the tongue. You need not worry yourself over it.”

You hurry to catch up to him, careful not to spill any of the herbs in the basket. For such a short person, he sure does walk really fast.

“Oh, I haven’t asked you yet, but what’s your name? You know, so I don’t keep referring to you as stalker in my head.”

He glances at you from the corner of his eyes, watching the way you smile at him so casually. Had it been any other person, they would have been suspicious, would have interrogated him of his intentions, would have found the act of him following and watching them from afar disturbing instead of simply amusing.

(You are far too trusting. He wishes you weren’t, perhaps then, you would have lived longer a thousand years ago.)

“Xiao.”

“Xiao,” you repeat, finding the name flowing from your tongue much smoother than you thought it would. Familiar.

You grin at him and tell him your own name, to which he lets out a hum and says he already knows. You resist the urge to tease him for it, saying how much he sounded like a stalker just then.

For the rest of the trip down the mountain, you animatedly try to make conversation with him. He always responds with short answers, formal with a hint of softness lingering in his tone. You can tell that he’s trying to keep as much information close to his chest as possible, but that was fine, you have a feeling you’ll be seeing more of him in the future anyway.

When you reach the foot of the mountain, you bid him goodbye.

“Well, this was a fun trip, but I can handle myself from this point onwards.” Your hand moves before you can stop it, landing on the top of his head and giving it a few pats. You send him a smile, unusually soft and almost… parental. “Thanks for protecting me, Xiao.”

He nods stiffly, unable to look you in the eye even after your hand returns to your side.

“I’ll be going now,” he tells you before disappearing in a whirl of black mist and anemo.

✧

“He was weird, but also kinda sweet? In a strange I-just-ate-one-of-Hu-Tao’s-cooking kind of sweet, you know?”

“No, I do not,” Zhongli says, amusement evident in his tone. “I do know, however, that the gentleman you met earlier was an adeptus.”

You jaw drops, nearly dropping your cup of tea. “What?!”

He nods. “Xiao is quite an interesting fellow. I am sure you two would get along well.”

“Wait a minute…” You watch him suspiciously, eyes narrowed. “Are you the master Xiao spoke of?”

“I’m afraid I do not know what you mean. Why would an adeptus call a mortal such as myself his master?” He takes a sip off his own tea. “Hmm, this tea is truly worthy of its reputation. High quality indeed.”

“Stop trying to change the subject!”

“Haha, was I? I don’t recall doing such a thing,” he says, feigning ignorance. You glare at him. “Although, I do recall an interesting conversation I had earlier. I am quite flattered to be called the love of your life, if my acquaintance is to be believed.”

“So you are Xiao’s master!”

“I never referred to him as my servant, merely an acquaintance,” he rebukes.

You continue to stare at him with narrowed eyes, not believing a word of what he just said.

You’ve had your suspicions. The pieces have practically been spoon fed to you from the moment you met him.

His seemingly endless amount of mora. The timing of his so-called retirement coinciding with the death of Rex Lapis. The archaic way he spoke and his general knowledge of history that not even most historians knew of.

He had been calm, too calm, when Osial was released from his seal. Almost nonchalant if not for the way he held you so tightly until the skies cleared and the Jade Chamber fell from the sky. You’ve never caught even the slightest hint of fear in his eyes, but in that moment, it was the closest thing you’ve ever come to seeing it.

He’d made you wait outside of the Northland Bank as he did whatever he needed to do—finalize my retirement, he said—and when a lady covering half of her face came out, she seemed to look at you like she knew more than she let on.

“Be wary when dealing with gods and illuminated beings,” she told you cryptically, to which you’d looked at her strangely for.

“That’s a given, isn’t it?”

She had smiled coyly at your answer and bid you farewell, disappearing in a flash of flames like a witch from one of Mondstadt’s tales.

Then Zhongli came out to see you not too long after.

“Childe has told me that it is custom these days to take the person you admire out for a ‘date’. Would an afternoon drinking osmanthus wine be considered one?” And all thoughts about your previous conversation with the mysterious lady disappeared.

After that first ‘date’, you vowed to never again take another sip of that awful, awful drink they call osmanthus wine. But when he comes up to you, asking you to accompany him for another afternoon session of drinking, you find that you can’t say no.

It tastes the same as I remember.

What exactly does he remember? Was it a memory from a week ago—

Or a memory from a thousand years ago?

Maybe you’re looking too deep into it. Maybe everything is all just a coincidence. But you’ve always trusted your instincts, and your instincts are telling you that Zhongli is more than just the mortal man he says he is.

But then you look at him, see him sipping his tea without a care in the world, unburdened, and you can’t bring yourself to voice your suspicions.

So what if he really is Rex Lapis?

Whether he’s the Geo Archon or Zhongli or Morax, your feelings will never change.

In this life or the next.

You pick up your cup of tea and take a sip. “You know, I think I prefer osmanthus wine.”

He looks at you, curious at the sudden change. “I thought you disliked the taste? Your expressions made it rather clear.”

He was right, it did taste gross, but…

“Yeah, but you like it, right?” you say, staring into your cup and fighting the heat making it’s way to your cheeks. “So, um, if it’s for you, then I won’t mind much if it’s what we drink. It does taste a bit better these days.”

(“It makes me wanna barf!” you said, sticking out your tongue in disgust.

Morax stared down his cup. “I see. I apologize for making you drink it.”

You saw the look on his face and hastily backtracked. “I mean, I guess it’s not that bad. If I’m with you, then it tastes a little less gross.” To prove your point, you took a large sip and tried not to let your true feelings show on your face. “Mm, see? T-Tastes better now…”)

Some things change and some stay the same.

Zhongli smiles at the old memory and hopes you’ll remain with him longer this time.

EI

“You wrote a book for me?”

You grin, not a hint of embarrassment on your face as you slid the light novel across the table towards her. “Your Eternal Excellency seemed to like the book I suggested months ago, so I thought, why don’t I write something she’ll like? And so I stayed up many nights to finish this! It’s also a gift to show my thanks for the gracious gift you gave me last month!”

Ei looks down at the cover of the book. It is a depiction of her in a colorful kimono next to a person who looks eerily like you. Reading the title, she has to fight the blush that threatens to rise from her cheeks as she reads it.

Suddenly Woke Up To An Arranged Marriage With The Raiden Shogun!

Quite… unconventional. And long.

This feels like one of her devious friend’s plots.

“Did Miko ask you to write this?”

You tilt your curiously. “Miss Yae? Oh, she didn’t! She was actually quite surprised when I sent in this novel for editing. Although she did say it was quite a fun read!”

So it was of your own volition that you wrote this. Well, she supposed she shouldn’t have expected anything less. Only you would be so bold as to write such a thing and have the confidence to come to the Tenshukaku to personally give it to her.

She feels something like amusement creeping up her chest. Five centuries and another five hundred years of being without you, but never once has she forgotten how daring you can be. For once, she is thankful that news have spread about her favor towards you. You would not have been allowed entry to the Tenshukaku by the soldiers otherwise.

When her silence remains even after you’ve finished regaling her with how many times you sneaked in to explore the Tenshukaku to gain some much needed inspiration, she sees the slightest hint of apprehension appear in your eyes. She decides to nip it in the bud before you can begin to doubt yourself and close yourself off to her.

“The title is… interesting. I shall be sure to read it during my free time.”

The smile you give her manages to light up the entire room. Or perhaps it’s the sunlight coming from the open shoji screens. Ei can’t quite tell with how mesmerized she is by you.

“I’m glad Your Eternal Excellency likes it!” you chirp, hands clasped in front of you like a prayer. “I especially made sure to give you the first ever copy made, complete with my signature and personal note in the title page!”

She takes the book in her hands, handling it like it’s the most fragile glass. “Thank you. I shall treasure this for all of eternity.”

And she means it. A book you wrote specifically for her? She is already coming up with ideas on how to make it last the wear and tear of time. Perhaps she can preserve this by placing it in her Plane of Euthymia…?

“It is the greatest honor to have Your Eternal Excellency treasure something I wrote!”

Ei frowns. There it is again.

Your Eternal Excellency.

She has never thought much of the way her people addressed her, but perhaps this is an era for new things. When you call her so formally, it magnifies the distance between you, how nothing is truly the same as it once was despite the familiarity of each setting with you.

She doesn’t want you to keep calling her such a lengthy title, and yet she doesn’t have it in her to ask of you to refer to her as Ei.

Because you do not remember, and she doesn’t want to force you to call her a name she isn’t quite ready to hear from you in this era. To hear her name fall from your lips without the same lilting voice you once called her with—Ei, you used to say, honey dripping from your tone with a smile reserved only for the reclusive sister of your god—it is too soon.

A thousand years without you, and yet it is still too soon.

So she bids you farewell, ignoring the gobsmacked looks of her retainers when they see the Raiden Shogun personally escorting a guest out of the Tenshukaku—a guest who is not even a member of the nobility, merely a humble writer and editor of the Yae Publishing House.

But that isn’t quite right either.

You are more than just your life in this period, you were a warrior and a servant and a lover and everything good Ei can think of.

She thinks the only reason you haven’t been granted a vision in this life is because your old vision still remains with her. The first vision she embedded in the statue right at the very top, as dull and lifeless as you once were upon your death.

When you wave to her goodbye instead of bowing—a custom that people from Mondstadt use! you told her—she decides to wave back, uncaring of the wide-eyed looks of the shogunate soldiers lining the entrance of the Tenshukaku.

✧

Ei sits down and reads your book.

What she reads is a rendition of your time together five hundred years ago, like something plucked from the recesses of her memories with only a few details embellished to stay true to this era.

She doesn’t get up until she’s read it twice and memorized each and every word and letter.

✧

When you visit the Tenshukaku a week after you gave her your book, the first thing she does is ask, “Do you remember?”

You look at her with surprise. “Pardon, Your Eternal Excellency?”

She gazes down the book lying innocuously on the table between you. “Your book… it is like a walk through the past. It fills me with nostalgia for a time long gone.”

Silence. She raises her eyes and watches you fumble for an explanation.

“Oh. Well, to be honest, I never actually thought it up!” You grin, a little sheepish as you look down to your lap. “I just kind of wrote what was in my dreams. They’ve always been strange as far as I can remember.”

Dreams.

Dreams.

Ah, so you do not remember after all.

Disappointment weighs on her, heavy and burdensome. She shouldn’t have expected much, has she not learned that expectation comes with a great cost? And yet, it is difficult to remember all that she has learned when you sit in front of her.

Sometimes, all she wants is to take you with her and stop the impending fate that befalls all mortals, and sometimes she has to remind herself that she can’t do that, because your ephemerality is what makes you so incredibly you.

She is about to say something, to apologize for her confusing words, but then you speak up again, trying to lighten the mood.

“And it’s really funny, ‘cause I used to call Your Eternal Excellency Ei in those dreams!” You laugh, not noticing the way she stills.

Ei breathes in, breathes out.

One, two, three times.

“Say it again.”

You blink, unsure if you heard correctly. “Huh?”

“The name—my name, say it again,” she tells you, careful to keep the desperation from slipping into her tone.

You part your lips, “Ei?”

Ei? Is it really you?

She shakes off the memory of your ghost. “Again.”

“Ei,” you say, more sure of yourself this time.

(“Ei,” you called her, voice stern as you watched her exhaust herself in training.)

“Again,” she asks, unable to hide the way her eyes shine with a sheen of unshed tears. They will not fall, she knows, but she still berates herself for her lack of control.

Your eyes soften, hands reaching over the table as if to hold her own—only to stop midway, remembering that this is not a dream.

What comes out of your mouth is a sound taken right from the past.

“Ei.”

(Ei, you used to say, honey dripping from your tone with a smile reserved only for the reclusive sister of your god)

She closes her eyes and savors the sound of her name. Five hundred years.

She was wrong. It was not too soon. It was too late.

Opening her eyes, she steels herself and finds the courage to do what she has been wanting to do from the moment she gave you that gift a month ago.

“Would you like to go out for a walk with me tomorrow? It is the season for cherry blossoms, and I have heard that the sight is quite lovely.”

✧

Suddenly Woke Up To An Arranged Marriage With The Raiden Shogun!

Chapter 2, Page 23

The Raiden Shogun looked at me and said, “I heard from one of my handmaidens that tomorrow is when the cherry blossoms will start to bloom. If it is not too much trouble, will you accompany me for a walk around the city?”

I stared at her, my heart skipping a beat, and when I gave her my answer, there was an exhilarated smile on my lips that couldn’t be wiped away for the rest of the day.

“I would love to!”

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #archons x reader #venti x reader #zhongli x reader #ei x reader #raiden ei x reader #raiden shogun x reader #gn reader

[dragonfirerogue-writes]

Can you do a Wednesday x Gn!reader but it’s the “if I can’t have you *proceeds to stab r* no one can” trend but Wednesday doesn’t know that r is not human and that a simple knife can’t hurt them so they open their eyes saying “aww so you do feel something for me and people say my charm is fake.” So Wednesday begins to question how they are not bleeding to death right now and they explain what they are and how they’ve shown many signs that they weren’t human but Wednesday just never noticed. In the end they end up confessing and a heated session begins but is interrupted when their parents walk in on them.

Also there’s a bit of history between r and Wednesday seeing as their parents are good friends and both secretly harbors feelings for the other. Though they say nothing of the feelings so what leads up to the point on Wednesday stabbing r is because Wednesday saw r and other girl flirting and became jealous and proceeds to kidnap r and ya :)

Also you can make r whatever type of creature you want!

A/N: This took longer than necessary cuz I couldn't decide on a creature for R to be lol

Wednesday x GN!Reader

Darkness greets you when you wake up. You blink a few times before realizing that it's because there's a bag over your head.

Kidnapped. You've been kidnapped.

This was interesting. There were very few people who could manage this. You tested your limbs as you thought about who could and would be capable of stealing you away. Legs were tied to the chair. Arms tied behind you. Both were tight and didn't leave you room to wriggle out and escape. So this was someone who was proficient in the art. That narrowed it down considerably. In fact, there could only be one person you knew of.

The bag gets pulled from your head and you're greeted by your captor. Wednesday Addams. You knew it.

"Wednesday! To what do I owe the pleasure?" Your charming greeting was cut short by a knife suddenly poking at your throat. One swallow and you would be cut. "Hm... Not pleasure then."

"Correct, Y/N. You are to be punished by my hands."

"Punished?"

While you had your moments, you didn't have a clue to what you could've done to Wednesday to warrant this treatment. Eyebrows furrowed while you tried to think of the past few days.

"What did I do? I've no clue."

Your prosecutor just scoffs as she slowly drags the top of her blade down your torso.

"You truly don't understand? For as long as we've known each other, Y/N? I'm disappointed." You can feel the blade push a little deeper right under your sternum. "Perhaps you can get someone to help you? Maybe that one siren you've been getting close to."

"Siren? Wait, you mean Adriana? I mean, yeah we were flirting, but why are you upset abou-HRK!" The blade sheathes into your core, taking your breath away. Your eyes widen as you stare at the girl before you.

"You were supposed to be mine and mine only. But your eyes have strayed. So if I can't have you, no one shall."

You slump over. There's silence for some time before your shoulders start to shake. Wednesday's eyebrows furrow as she watches. Eventually, a soft laughter filled her ears. She reaches over and grabs your hair to pull your head back, revealing your laughing face.

"Hahahaha! So you do feel something for me. And people say my charm is fake. Hahaha oh, it's weird laughing with something in my diaphragm. Hehehe... Hey, take it out, will ya?" Out of sheer shock and confusion, Wednesday pulls her blade out and you let out a soft groan of relief.

"Thank the gods. Whew..." You look at the girl, smirk on your face.

"You..." Wednesday starts, still in disbelief. "You're unaffected. Aren't you human?" You could only blink.

"You... Don't know? Wednesday how long have we known each other and you don't know?" She just shrugs nonchalantly. You let out a sigh and slump over slightly.

"I'm a hannya oni. A demon born from jealousy and anger. Ironic, no?" A little chuckle punctuates the words. "There's not a lot that can be done to hurt me."

The goth narrows her eyes at you and asks, "How is it that you've never mentioned this?"

A shrug. "Didn't seem that important. Plus, I thought you knew. I didn't really keep it a secret."

"There's no outward indication that you're of demon blood."

In lieu of being able to use your hands, you tilt your head from side to side to mimic an 'eeehhh' motion.

"The horns are annoying so they're hidden. Hold on." You take a deep breath and suddenly, horns begin to grow just under your hairline. When you exhale, a small burst of fire comes out. Your eyes become slitted and your tongue forked.

"There. Not full demon form, but enough to prove my point."

Wednesday walks around you, inspecting your new-to-her features. Now that she sees them, your eyes and tongue do seem familiar. You were also always a warm body, no matter the weather. She pokes at your horns, forcing your head to nod slightly.

"Hm. I suppose you've been around so often that I never bothered to know or question your origins."

"Fair..." You nodded a bit before cocking your head to look at your companion. "Well, I have a question. You're jealous of Adriana?" Your mouth spreads into a wide grin. Wednesday responds with a swift smack on the back of your head.

"You've been by my side for years. To have someone take that away was... Troubling." You shuffled slightly in the seat you were still tied to.

"You didn't really have anything to worry about," you replied. "You know how I am. I just flirt for fun. No real intent there." Wednesday eyes you with suspicion. "Honest! Have you seen me be serious with anyone?" She considers the question before shaking her head.

"Besides, you're the only one I actually want."

Suddenly Wednesday's eyes burn into you. You look at her to see a surprised stare. "And you never made any indication..."

You open your mouth to retort, but without an actual reply, you slowly close it. While you have strong feelings for your friend, you didn't think it would go anywhere. So to ease the feelings bubbling in you, you began to flirt all over, letting bits of those feelings out with each pick-up line.

"Well," you start after a moment. "We have feelings for each other..."

"Indeed..."

Wednesday steps towards you and straddles your lap. When you inhale, her scent fills your nose. You struggle in your bindings, having almost forgotten that they were there. Your love was so close and yet you couldn't touch her the way you wanted. A cold hand rakes through your hair before yanking it back.

"What do you think we should do about it, Y/N?" She watches as your eyes dilate with want. You take the time to collect yourself before answering.

"Whatever you want..."

With a wicked grin, Wednesday dives in and suddenly you're drowning in her. Her lips sear onto yours with a soft moan. All you could do was return it with fervor. You curse your restraints, wanting them off so you could ravish the girl on top of you with your hands. Sensing your frustrations, Wednesday takes a hold of her knife again.

"Can't have you distracted while I'm right here, hm?" With a swift cut, your hands are free and they immediately take hold of her body. Your lips are together once more, more heated than ever now that you can stimulate the goth even further.

Your hands run up and down the girl's body. Slim muscle tense with each pass. You can't get enough. You grip tightly, pulling the goth even closer to you. Years of pent up feelings erupt from both of you and it consumes you both.

You feel teeth along your lower lips as Wednesday pulls at it. With one final kiss, she moves on and trails a path of burning kisses down to your neck. A low moan escapes your lips and you cling tighter onto your girl. However, there's something now that feels slightly off.

Eyes open to see both of your parents in the doorway, all with wide eyes.

Your shift in emotions causes Wednesday to stop and follow your eyes. Parents stare at their children. Children stare at their parents. You finally register the fact that you've been in Wednesday's room this whole time.

Silence reigns until there's an exchange of money between the patriarchs of both your families.

"About time you two did something." Your father says.

"We'll leave you be." Morticia allows, pushing her husband away.

When the door closes again, you let your head fall with a laugh. Wednesday just groans in embarrassment and burrows into your neck.

"How long do you think the bet went on for?" You asked, mood thoroughly ruined.

"I don't care, but I'll make sure we get our share."

#a dragon tries to write #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday x reader #wednesday (netflix) #asks #requests