#where i dont implode

[starsonmarsy]

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#imagine a world where im not autistic #and i catch on sooner #or a world where im not just a ticking time bomb #where i dont implode #and kill everything i care about with the shrapnel #or a world where i can just respond to tjings like a normal human being #oooo my mother was meannto.me and my oarents beat me as a kkd ooo #so now i cant manage my emotions and have the emotional maturity of a moody 15 year old ooo #IMAGINE A WORLD WHERE I STOO FUXKING UP #AND THEN TJIS WHOLE FUFK ASS POST AND BLOW UP ANS EPISODE IM GONNA APOLOGIZE FOR LATEE WNS FEEL WORSE #BECAUDE RHATS ALL I EVER DO ITS A FUCKING CYCKE #APOLOGIES WITH NO ACTION MEAN NOTHING LET ME FUCKINF JUST DIE ALREADY #im sick of myself. why cant i be someone else #why am i so selfisb #putting my problems on others when theyre dealing with stuff too #im sorry im sorry im sorry km sorrh im sorry im sorru im sorru im skrrh im skrru #i shouldnt exist #vent

[sodrippy]

so glad we all held out during the wga/sag strikes bc they got all their terms fully delivered and no other departments are seeing probably the biggest layoffs in the industry right now! yay!

#their reps now saying theyre fully in support of the iatse/etc negotiations coming up later this year is so funny too like #thanks. as if iatse did jackshit last time either 👍 #obviously i am still in support of the strikes its just like. so many people lost more than their livelihoods over it #and now we're facing the same and its so beyond fucked i feel like vfx and gaming are imploding right now #and sag/wga didnt even get all their terms met right? for what? #and sorry but taking a stance against enduring studio bs is all well and good but like #that statement about 'oh studios thought theyd bled us dry and we dont have the money to keep striking but we do' #who is WE exactly? bc so many writers have gone broke over this? where are their strike funds?

[ajdrawshq]

listening to octopath music and drawing and writing stuff for my octopath pmd au so The Horrors(tm) dont get me

#i am getting WAY too in depth with these character profiles but if i dont hyperfocus on it i will implode . #like. we got species (including fusions/variants) types (may differ due to species) (plus an extra type bc of mixing in octopath mechanics) #also bc they can have up to 3 types at once i calculated everyones weaknesses and resistances which is actually kinda fun w tri-typed mons #also movesets up to 9 moves including 8 from their species(es.?) and 1 from their extra type . bc octopath #and abilities which everyone can have up to 2 of bc of how the older pmd games worked #tho each start with one and gain one in a similar way to octopath which allows for more mismatching #and also making it easier to choose fitting abilities for everyone they otherwise woildnt have access to #their IQ groups (tho. i am mildly tempted to scrap that and make my own groups. no yeah thats my next task now) #held items and general/single use items theyd most likely have #and any other individual notes i have on them 👍 like therion being unable to evolve further bc part of his lineage is a 2 stage evo #ohhh i also need to note where everyone comes from. except maybe therion bc we dont know his hometown at all #thats gonna be kinda hard bc each continent has pretty much all the biomes but psmd changed that up a bit..... hm.... #and the sand continent is straight up from psmd only unlike the rest so i need to check if theres anything besides deserts there #bc i could theoretically put 2 travellers per continent and go from there.. OH wait that works hold on. im a genius #maybe i need to replay psmd again and see.. i gotta be at least partway in my current playthrough it camt be too hard #id like to mimic where everyone starts out as much as i can.. tho i cant remember if theres a livable tundra area in pmd #still gotta do those iq groups tho . that goes first #octotag

[soldier-poet-king]

Red wine is so good like. What did we do to deserve her. What would I do without her. Truly I'm...

#franposting #REST ASSURED. i had one (1) glass #and i ate A FULL MEAL first #for everyone who has been following todays meltdown. itll be fine. #i mean it's rotten work and totally not worth it #but yes i will live. alas #really tho. im just. crying cat in blanket meme. emotionally. 24/7 #everything is wrong bad and i need to be alone (or away from my family) #but also i am so lonely and isolated for in person contact #and touch. my god. i hate ppl being in my space when i didnt invite them #but also if i am not held i am going to fuckin implode #i need to be HELD. romantically. platonically..secret third thing-ly. i dont care #where is the human contact. im begging u. #that is such a horrible selfish pathetic thing to say but also #im in the worst of both worlds. i dont get mental aloneness peace bc family #but my family sucks and i dont get any phsyical comfort either #i dont WANT it from them #it makes my skin crawl a bit. tbh #i crave contact but only from some ppl. not my family. there cant be mental baggage #ughhh uggh ughhhhhhhhh i am going to BED to CRY

[rottentiger-art]

rip post THG/early CF Peeta, you would've loved I Know it's Over by The Smiths

#i know its over and it never really begun but in my heart it was so real???? #i know its over still i cling I dont know where else to go???? #if youre so funny why are you on your own tonight??? #(him being all by himself in his new house no family no friends and no girl to visit him) #its so easy to laugh its so easy to hate it takes guts to be gentle and kind???????? #omg he woudve imploded if he ever got near a The Smiths album #everlark #the smiths

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Sobbing I wanna talk abt my ship with Cortex but I'm sOOO no thoughts head empty right now he just has me like ⚫️w⚫️ 💖💖💖💖

#ROTATING HIM IN MY MIND AT BREAKNECK SPEEDS UNTIL HE GETS SICK 💖💖💖💖💖 #its not that i DONT have ideas or thoughts. i think its the opposite actually where i have so many theyre just all imploding on themselves #the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.... #im tryna drop hints that im always down to answer questions about my ship :] #ruby rambles #💜: the man of my schemes

[aeviare]

no one told me it was love on tiff hours wtf. anyway tiff is in fact one of my favorite people on the whole planet to ever exist ever <3 sweetest person. funniest. clears the vibe check with flying colors. creative and talented in so many ways. one of my favorite people to talk to and write with and bounce ideas off of!!! single handedly revived my will to write after a long stress hiatus. best ever. my world is a better place with a tiff in it and i'm so so glad to have met you and get to call you my friend :3 <3 <3 <3

unprompted cedar asks <3

{EXCUSE ME SIR SADFDFA sobbing quietly into my hands. i'm so glad to have met you too <3}

#pertinasities #❥ 🇹‌🇭‌🇪‌ 🇰‌🇪‌🇪‌🇵‌🇪‌🇷‌ 🇮‌🇸‌ 🇫‌🇦‌🇩‌🇮‌🇳‌🇬‌ 🇦‌🇼‌🇦‌🇾‌ {ooc} #it is quite possible i will implode with all the love i am getting today #where i dont even know where it came from #asdfasdf

[thelooniemoonie]

Man. I'm only now realizing I havent...updated any of my art stuff in a while huh?

#the moon speaks #i dont mean like posting art #i mean like social links. promotions. circulating my art and all that stuff. like my profile and presence #people know i make art (...right?) and it gets circulated here but i dont really have any....presence. if that makes sense #like dead in terms of an internet presence i guess. #i stopped using instagram. redbubble is deactivated #it's only here now. i guess i could revamp the ko-fi? i dunno #im very casual but im realizing now it's just dead air. #how do i explain this? im still making art. i never stopped. but in terms of online presence/fandom that's not really enough anymore is it #your art is seen and you make content but people dont know you do other stuff. people dont look at ko-fi's or commission sheets #then again i'm not an artist career-wise. im a casual. i have a career to put food on the table #so i suppose thinking of this is probably making me really selfish. im not sure what emotion this is tbh #it's more like. where do i go from here #what if i do lose my job? what if this site implodes? i dunno

[knght0wl]

megalo box s1 and s2 my beloved

#i have #im #megalo box #megalo box nomad #punching the drywall i have so much love for megalo box like im going to implode #i dont even know where to begin or how to explain i literally 🧍‍♂️ #stop watching jutitsu karbon and watch fucking megalobox for the love of god

[missmcbling]

IVE’s jang wonyoung, my girlfriend ☆彡

#twitter is imploding #glad i have yall incase it gets too crazy #even though this is just an ’’aesthetic’’ acc #where i dont actually talk #trust me its better that way #i hope yall arent my twitter mutuals #im not normal over there

[confused-and-dickless]

HUNGRY. I WANT FOOD. WHAT DO I WANT. I M TIRED. I NEED TO BE HELD.

#I HATE BEING ON PREDNISONE I HATE BEING AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND FOR SO LONG I HATE SLEEPING ALONE #I LOVE MUSIC BUT I DONT WANT TO FEEL STROBGLY RIGHT NOW BUT I DONT WANT THE SILENCE BUT I DONT WANT EMPTY NOISE BUT I CANT CRY #I AM BOTH EUPHORIC FROM HOW MUCH J LOVE MY BF AND EXTREMELY UPSET THAT IM SEPARATED FROM HIM WHILE MY PARENTS ARE TOGETHER BUT STRUGGLING #AND I KNOW HOW TO HELP THEM. THEY JUST NEED TO BE FORCED BACK ONTO THE SAME PAGE. I THINK I KNOW HOW TO HELP. BUT I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO #I WANT TO HELP. BUT I AM SCARED I'LL MAKE IT IRREVOCABLY WORSE SOMEHOW. #AND I WANT MAC N CHEESE GODDAMNIT #WHERE IS MY BOYFRIEND I NEED TO BE HELD. #ALSO I REALLY WABT TO EMBROIDER RIGHT NOW BUT IM SCARED THAT IF MY HANDS ARE SHAKY RIGHT NOW I MIGHT ACTUALLY IMPLODE #maybe ill watch one of my shows and try to embroider something simple bc this ween patch is kicking my ass #(im making it way more complicated than it needs to be bc of how simple the original design is) #((i should have made this a painted project. or made it smaller. but ill learn something from it!!)) #idk im gonna go look for a snack and see if i feel better after i eat something #i probably won't bc this dumbass medicine makes it impossible for me to feel full #itll get my weight up which is always good for me but i just hate food. i dont mind that i gain visible weight i just hate eating

[scolek]

thinkin bout how leo is somehow the voice of reason in madaleo

#dream on stupids #listen. #kohaku is a master at telling the neurodivergent majors around him to shut up #kanata will just go “no” whenever mama even speaks #and chiaki will be uxorious in this respect #kuro and madara do feed into each others worst impulses i think. but thats one where nobodys the voice of reason #leo?????? FUCKING LEO????? being like hey i dont think you should do that??????? #whats the dynamic with leo-mama-kuro. i think they would like. implode a bit. because theyre all. the energy madakuro bring to each other i #the exact inverse they bring to leo. so if he was hanging out with both of them. #they would be like LETS PUNCH EACH OTHER CATHARTICALLY and leo would be like. WHAT WOULD HE BE LIKE #ive found the kobayashi maru of enstars

[valfruits-archived]

(in the context of the like constant comparisons about whether which one was worse or more justified btwn venat & emet) the only framing (of venat's actions as terrible) that i can get behind is that it was the final nail that resulted in this entire civilization/culture being gone/lost and how thats always a tragedy. but even then the text (prior to some things ew did that im ambivalent about) presents the situation like the ancients were already on this unstoppable path to tragedy (continuously sacrificing their own dwindling numbers in attempts to fix things) and venat & her group were basically responding to that by putting their feet down and saying "you cant do this anymore" and thats very different from the situation w emet & his fellow maladjusted pathetic evil sad men. like i think its disingenuous to compare venat/her group looking at their own civilisation & saying they would oppose it because it was going down a path they thought was unconscionable vs the ascians condemning multiple other worlds/cultures/etc to extinction bc they thought it was worth it if they got theirs (this is a comparison i see a lot and its frustrating bc theyre really not the same situation at all & yet...)

#kind of a jump but i preferred the ambiguity that existed in shb about whether venat & co knew what the sundering would do #like there was things to pick apart about both options (she knew vs she didnt) & i dont haate what ew did necessarily #but i do think theres a nice parallel about like.....the ancients trying to fix what happened and ending up spiralling into #a destructive cycle perhaps (likely) without ever intending to go so far vs venat trying to stop them in her own desperate bid & #inadvertently dealing a blow that struck too hard & resulted in a fundamental shattering #-> a whole big sad debacle where everyone is lost and doesnt know what to do and it all implodes on itself #the whole thing about venat knowing both what the sundering resulted in & doing it in full knowledge is like.....hmmmm..... #idk quite how to explain it other than saying that i personally preferred when the tragedy of the ancients was that it was just that: a #sudden wild unforseen tragedy #rather than this aspect that exists in ew thats like ''this was Necessary it had to happen (for contrived fantasy reasons)'' #does any of this make any sense

[skeletalheartattack]

i was able to get twilight princess wii version working on the dolphin emulator. it was a little tricky though. certain actions like catching fish required me to map a specific button to do the wiimote wiggles the game wanted. also there were graphical issues that i had to download a mod or something to fix. but. other than that i was able to play it! so theres an option for ya

sadly the issue i always run into isn't gameplay-related, it's usually performance related, since my laptop is roughly from 2007 or so. most games i try to emulate that are within the range of gamecube-ps2 era (and anything beyond) usually run below double digit frames.

#ask #catboygirljoker #hence why id rather a physical copy than emulation in this case #ik i can probably mod my wii but. id rather not ruin my wii honestly #my old laptop was able to handle emulation really well #when i played animal crossing city folk. i modded the entire controls to an xbox controller (since its a wii game) #and i had a button used for enabling wii cursor movements (for typing and using my inventory) to the joystick #which. honestly feels better to use for typing with a controller? like you hold R1 and move the joystick around and press A #which. makes me wonder why no ones tried it for current age typing with controller(?) #i dont have any new consoles so for all ik they already do that #but yeah. ive tried playing games im absolutely itching to play from my childhood but cant due to my hardware issues #it makes me want to implode honestly #the curses of having a laptop that does. okay at most things. but playing games isnt one #especially in a field where game devs dont really care too much about the person with the laptop from two decades ago #its sad but. i cant do anything about it #i cant even play current day gmod for example. i have to resort back to gmod 12. #which is a little saddening because some old addons (like playX) dont work anymore for gmod 12 #most ive been doing in gmod 12 is just personalizing it for myself. have a stupid joke where i call it gammy's mod 2001 xp vista #had like 4 people ask me what it was #i only have CSS and HL2DM ''mounted'' atm. tf2 would be such a pain to port honestly. #primarily because gmod 12 is a sourcemod so it doesnt actively look for file directories. instead it looks in source sdk base 2007 #so you gotta copy all your files from those games there. and i dont have lots of space #anyway i really do appreciate your ask!!!! my situation is just. complicated.

[nureyev-steel-institute]

"Every family is like this" actually I don't think every single family features a parent that threatens to take you out of school and tank your educational career at the slightest hint of conflict and "disrespect"

#and just like #the whole 'were not able to functuon without you :(' aimed at me #fucking learn then #you have 20+ years of experience on me and you still cant then fucking learn #i refuse to be their emotional support and their physical support and if the whole family implodes in on itself because 1 person #leaves and never looks back than so fucjing be it i dont care #and its not a situation where theyre paying for my school and theyre withdrawing financial support #theyre just threstnening to take me out of it #i refuse. i absolutely refuse #and i will go down kicking and screaming and clawing till everyone fucking bleeds

[yael-art-den]

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#its the first time I've going to have to ask for vacations for medical reasons #the medical resons being im going to implode #i thought working on a big-ish game company was my dream work and it is just #im a fucking junior living through all of this i dont know where to rant besides crystal #and she has had enough #i think they dont have my tumblr and prob wont read my tags but if they do uhhh #hey boss I'm really tired and have had two anxiety attacks can i jave a medical leave