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onewingedxngel-moved · 3 years

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Why Sephiroth is not human, and that’s Okay

So this is PART 2 of this. But you don’t have to read it to understand this one. The first one is Sephiroth’s view of things, while this one is my own as the mun.

I’ve kept this in my drafts for a while, because... I dunno, I was nervous? But whatever, fuck it, here you go, enjoy your food (or don’t). It gets personal though, so be warned about that.

All righty, after much deliberation, I decided to write this up and actually fucking publish it, regardless of if this essay was prompted or not. Because I got something to say, and to hell with it, I’m gonna say it.

You will see, in the majority of my muses, a little something I like to call ‘monster sympathy’, which is exactly what it sounds like. Either they sympathise with monsters, or they literally ARE the monster. And do you know why?

Because, as a kid, I was always able to identify better with the monsters in the stories. Yeah, even the dangerous man-eating ones. And it’s partially why I find myself relating so much to Sephiroth.

Does this sound weird as fuck? Yes? I’m not surprised, but to hell with it, I’ll continue.

I’ve always been seen as the ‘different’ one. The so-called ‘weird’ kid. And, growing up, when I was exposed to stories involving man vs monster, I always found myself sympathising with and relating to the monster, because in the weirdest of ways... that’s kind of how I felt. I felt like the ‘other’. Seeing monsters being hated and demonized just for existing and trying to survive*, by not just the stories but much of the audience themselves (so, for example, the dragon in the story of George and the dragon), and with their point of view always being left out and glossed over: it left me upset, but also, with this weird comfort. Yeah. I know how that feels.

*Granted, Seph is not ‘just trying to survive’, but he has every reason to despise humanity, and I still find myself relating since I myself dislike humanity as a whole.

(This is what led to me writing cringe fanfictions about various movie monsters in an attempt to help others see what I was trying to get across. This includes the MUTO’s, xenomorphs, the Indominus rex, and the kaiju in Pacific Rim. But that’s another story for another day.)

Now, Sephiroth is a very relatable character for me, for a MULTITUDE of reasons: but I will focus on one today. His role as the ‘other’. His role as the ‘monster’ (there are technically many monsters in FF7, but I shall focus on Sephiroth for today).

I will cite part of my favourite paragraph from my previous post pertaining to this subject:

‘Why is that [being a monster] so terrible? Why is it somehow ‘better’ to be part of the species that exploited you, hurt you, and mistreated you? Is it because it’s ‘normal’? ‘Oh no, Sephiroth, you’re not a monster, you’re human, you’re normal, you’re one of us. No, being a monster is terrible, because then, you’re different, you’re abnormal, and that’s a horrible thing to be’.’

You know... in a way, I can relate this. Maybe I haven’t literally been called a monster, but I’ve been called ‘weird’, ‘odd’, ‘an outlier among outliers’ (all spoken in tones that imply that being any of those things is disgusting). And, hell, in some ways, I’ve been treated like a monster too. I don’t want to go into it because then we’re gonna get all personal, and I’m not comfortable doing that yet (maybe someday), but let’s just say... it was bad. But, the point is- being any of these things is in no way a negative thing. And yet, I’ve been in so many situations where people treat my individuality like it’s a bad thing, purely because they don’t understand it.

Being a monster- being different- means that some people simply aren’t going to like you. Hell, some people may even go beyond simple dislike. But that’s no reason to cave in and try to be like everyone else, to deny your uniqueness. If anything, it’s something to embrace. Yes, be fucking different, don’t you dare change yourself or deny who you are for the sake of some small-minded conformists.

This is part of why I avoid this concept of Sephiroth being human rather than a monster. Because by insisting that he’s human, it firstly implies that in order for him to deserve being treated with respect and kindness, he can’t be different from others- he has to be like everyone else, he has to be human, because being anything other than that is so terrifying and wrong. Secondly, it implies that for him to be accepted, for everything to be okay, he needs to conform. If he embraces his differences, oh no, you’re not one of us, and if you’re not one of us, then you can’t be with us.

You know, maybe I’m taking things personally. But that’s because I’ve been through some shit, and I relate to him a lot. For me, it sounds like human=normal=good, and monster=different=bad. Like it’s something to be ashamed of and denied, not embraced and accepted.

Ultimately, the way I feel about Sephiroth is this:

Why does he have to be human? Why can’t he just be accepted?

And, for a while when I was in certain bad environments, the question I would ask myself was:

Why do I have to be ‘normal’? Why can’t I just be accepted?

(Also I am certain that like 95% of his fans wouldn’t sympathise with him if he didn’t look like a conventionally attractive human being, but instead physically resembled a monster)

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sapphireblueevanesce · 3 years

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My Year in Kpop 2020

I think for most of us, 2020 started out with so much promise, with the Any Song challenge being everywhere and with the film Parasite winning an Oscar. Major kpop tours were being announced, and I, along with my friends, purchased tickets in preparation for another great year of great concerts.

Of course, almost none of the concerts turned out as we planned once the pandemic hit.

There is no wrong way to be a fan, but some of us have our preferences. Some of us collect every album, some round out entire photocard collections. Some of us collect plushies or enamel pins. Some of us make sure to buy all of the official merch. In my case, I always preferred to go to live concerts, even before becoming a kpop fan. At the risk of sounding corny, I find live music events to be transformative. Up until now, I have had to cross continents to see my kpop faves live, but this was supposed to be a banner year for US based kpop fans. So many tours were slated to come here and we were already planning logistics. I watched, warily, as the virus spread through Asia, wondering if and how Kpop would be affected. People in Seoul started to lockdown before us, and I felt bad as I watched Donghae complaining on one of his live streams from his own house where he said he hated this virus. Little did I know that all of us would come to hate the virus, with a passion.

Of course, so many more important things have been lost due to this virus. People’s lives, first and foremost, and overall health for some who contracted the virus and survived. Businesses and livelihoods were also lost. But I want to take some time to acknowledge what was lost in the realm of “less important” things, as well, especially since for so many people, kpop is a sanctuary that helps them emotionally and mentally.

But, due to this new reality, we still had a lot to be thankful for, especially for ELF.

Beyond Live

We were lucky that SM was planning to make online concerts well before this year in an effort to connect with fans located in places where full blown tours did not make financial sense for them. Due to this preparation, the virus had “good timing,” and SM was able to begin to roll out their artists’ concerts using the Beyond Live platform. You could sign up to be an “audience member” (basically part of a giant zoom call) through the Lysn app. I was lucky enough to win to be in the audience for the Super Junior Beyond Live: Beyond the Super Show. You can hear me talk about my experience on my youtube channel here (oh yeah, this year, I started a Kpop unboxing youtube channel!).

Can you see me? Lol.

Video Fan Sign Events:

I had always dreamed about attending a fan signing, but as far as I know, Super Junior had never done one in the States. When I was in Korea for Super Show 8, I considered trying to attend one. But while I was there, the ones that were going on would not have the full group in attendance. Instead, a few would be at one fansign in one place, and another few would be at another fansign in another place. It also seemed like such a gamble. You had to buy albums from participating stores to enter to win a spot at the fansign.

Now, during the pandemic, with everyone forced to get creative, a new system was created. As a multifan, I noticed this with other groups, such as Stray Kids, Ateez, and KARD. Companies were setting up video fansign events. You just had to buy albums from participating websites to enter. So many people recorded their phone calls and the calls seemed to be so fun and cute, for the most part. Some fans entered the fansigns for multiple websites and won multiple times. I saw one KARD fan who got to talk to J. Seph three times, and each time, J. Seph remembered him from the time they had seen each other in real life!

After much consideration, I entered the SMTown & Store fansign for D&E, specifically for E oppa. Like the in-person fan signs, this was also, a huge gamble. But I gambled and won! You can read about my experience talking to Eunhyuk for the Video Fan Sign Event here

SJ Returns 4

The popular V Live series, Suju Returns, came back not a moment too soon with their fourth season, SJ Returns 4. For this season, the theme was SJ returns 4 ELF, meaning that they were going to episodes based on ELF’s suggestions. The Live Together episode, the Mr. Simple Trot episode, and the talk show episode featuring Michael Jackkyu are some of the more hilarious episodes that come to mind. I also loved the D&E Returns episodes and the special fanship episodes where the members discuss the discography. SJ really feeds their fans so well.

More members on TV!

This year, every SJ member was online more, thanks to the many live streams and updates to their extremely well produced Youtube channels, but they were constantly on Korean television, as well. Yesung and Leeteuk hosted a Japanese web variety show called Idol vs Idol. Our baby variety genius Donghae, along with Shindong, hosted the show, Another Class. Shindong became fully installed as one of the Knowing Brothers, alongside Heechul. Eunhyuk hosted Eun-official, his fashion web series for Naver and became the fulltime co-host for the iconic Weekly Idol, with ZE:A’s Kwanghee.

Kyuhyun stayed winning as one of the popular New Journey to the West cast members, and through his successful episodes of the Manger Show (Omniscient Interfering View), managed to get Shingdong and D&E on the show as well. Not to mention the low key fame that manager Yongsun gained from his hardwork on the show! Heechul’s mom is ever radiant on My Ugly Duckling (My Little Old Boy). It seemed like everywhere you turned this year, there was Super Junior.

It really took your mind off the virus for a bit (and off the canceled concerts and postponed comebacks) to see them all over the place this year. It seems that for at least part if not all of 2021, we will need to continue to meet our faves on TV and on the internet. My favorite way to fan girl, which is through concerts, will need to continue to be virtually for the time being. But at least I have memories while I wait. Hopefully next year will bring changes for the better!

Read about my first year in Kpop here!

Read about my year in Kpop 2019 Part 1

Read about my year in Kpop 2019 Part 2

Read about my year in Kpop 2019 Part 3

#my year in kpop #personal #super junior

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scatterpatter · 4 years

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Some expanded thoughts on FF7R under the cut [SPOILERS]

So! Overall I freaking LOVED the remake and I can’t wait to see the rest! Midgar feels so alive and expanded, you really feel attached to everyone, it’s... muah! Honestly a lot of the points I’m gonna make are more nitpicks than anything. I won’t make any commentary on the gameplay because I watched a let’s play instead of playing by myself(im broke and cant afford a PS4 and $60 game >_>)

So the designs are GORGEOUS... no, the entire GAME is gorgeous. Midgar looks so good and detailed, there’s so much great implementation of color theory! Cloud is sooooo good looking!!! Barret and Aerith and Sephiroth are all GORGEOUS! Reno Rude Tseng and Rufus.. AAAA!!! The only slight complain I have is that- okay so Tifa looks AWESOME, but I honestly wish she wasn’t so skinny. Like she’s a melee fighter, but her waist and arms are so thin! I wish they gave her a bit more tone and muscle, but, oh well. I honestly can’t stop staring at the character models they look SO good

Plot-wise, I really like most of the changes/additions they made! Especially with Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. They’re wonderful and I love them and did I mention that I love them because they’re just so dorky!!! And good!!!

Honestly, I like that Aerith is actually written to be likeable. I know that doesn’t seem like much but a lot of games fall into the trap of telling you that you’re supposed to like the female protag(looking at you, Breath of the Wild) or tell you that she’s a strong character, but they fail to show that, so the player feels like they’re just being told to get attached. Aerith, though, is actually really likeable in this game!!! She’s cute and down-to-earth, really dorky and even snarky, easily seeing past Cloud’s tough-guy act, and she can fight! It’s just so nice to see a game that shows a strong female protag instead of just telling you.

Legit everyone is horny for Cloud and I’m so here for it

Okay so like. I love Roche. I didn’t at first but he quickly grew on me. He’s so awfully chaotic and I just- I love him. I’m mad that he was just kinda forgotten, though. Like! He could’ve shown up at the ending chase!!!

THEY REALLY WROTE HOJO TO BE AS CREEPY AS POSSIBLE HUH. Like I’m not complaining because like he’s basically the reason why everything happened, but! Ahhhh he makes me squirm he’s a creep with a gross science fetish and I wanna stab himmmmm

Okay so. President Shinra is a little bit TOO stereotypically evil? Like having a gold statue of himself and not even caring about sabotaging one of his own reactors when one little console gets destroyed??? Like it’s almost comical how evil he’s written to be. Though, I do like the scene where he calls Barret out on his ideals, that was neat!

Nowww, Heidegger Scarlet Palmer and Reeve? MUAH. Heidegger and Scarlet are written so sadistically but like in such a likeable way, especially Heidegger. God I hate them both but you just love to hate them!!! Palmer is HILARIOUS- I love how he’s written to be the spoiled kid whose parents forced the other kids to include him so he’s just there even though he doesn’t do anything. And Reeve? Well...

SO REEVE IS MY FAVORITE ATM SINCE WE DON’T HAVE VINCENT YET, AND REEVE IS JUST... <3 <3 <3 Okay so first off, his design is perfect. He doesn’t really stand out in the same way that Heidegger Scarlet and Palmer do. He just has a normal build, normal suit, normal hair slicked back- he just looks like a normal employee, totally inconspicuous... which is very fitting considering how he ends up being undercover and needs to look inconspicuous ;)

Though Reeve shows clear signs of overworking himself and being emotionally abused by his coworkers which... sucks. I mean it’s good writing but I feel so awful for him- Like you know it’s bad when someone just has to hold up a hand to get you to shut up and sit down. I like that he tries to do good things but steps down when he’s told to, that he’s empathetic but cowardly. It does a great job at setting up his character arc in future chapters <3

Okay so one thing- I thought the build-up for the plate dropping was amazing, but honestly... the plate itself falling was slightly underwhelming, to be completely honest. Like- I just didn’t feel the impact that a plate falling would have! Mainly because, you don’t see a single death which is interesting. Like you see people running from falling debris, but legit not a single death is implied. Honestly? I thought the scene would have been far more impactful if they showed:

Seventh Heaven actually being destroyed

The people topside reacting to the ground beneath them collapsing and them falling to their deaths(They only tried to evacuate Sector 7 slums! Not the topside!!!)

More people actually being implied to have been crushed(No, Im not counting Wedge). Like in the original FF7 there’s a scene where someone’s watching tv and you see the plate falling from outside the window- and there’s a reporter just doing his normal shit before he suddenly looks up and things go to static- like- thats an intense scene and I wish the remake did more stuff like that!

They do great showing people REACTING to the plate falling which is why its so appalling to me that they dont show much of the actual devastation DURING plate fall

I LOVE that Cait Sith shows up at the plate falling! It shows that Reeve actually tried to warn people(something he asked to do and was denied earlier), even if he was too late. The only problem I have is that new players who dont know who Cait Sith is will be horribly confused as to who and why he’s there???

Also, when the crew goes back to Sector 7, you don’t really... feel the impact right away. Keep in mind, an entire section of city just fell onto another section of city WITH the supports holding it up, there should have been way more rubble. Yet, the area where Seventh Heaven is just... looks like it was hit with a major earthquake. There should be way more rubble, like mountains of it. It’s weird since the opening cinematic really captures the scope of how huge Midgar is, but the plate falling just doesn’t really show the scope of how much devastation there was to losing an entire plate.

The scope of it is done a bit better when climbing up Sector 7, but I still feel like the weight and scope of destruction isn’t lived up to its full potential.

Okay so- Wedge and Biggs. ... Yeah, it takes away from the impact of their deaths to have them not die. I mean, I can’t make a total opinion on this just yet, because the other parts haven’t come out yet, but... if FF7R is gonna keep them alive, they better have a good reason for it tbh.

They might have done a little bit too much foreshadowing with Cloud and Aerith? Like I like Cloud having memory issues, it’s kept pretty vague... but him going “Mother?” with Jenova is a little bit too spoiler-y. Like yeah you gotta tease his whole thing but like- don’t give it away this soon!!!

I also don’t mind Seph showing up as much as he does. Like, in the original, you don’t even hear about him until close to the end of the Midgar arc. Obvi since the remake ONLY covers the Midgar arc so far, I totally understand bringing him in sooner. Again, having the clones existing might be a little too spoilery for the big twists later on, but I can let it slide since it’s still treated as very “wtf” and I’m sure anyone new to the story hasn’t put it together yet.

Did I mention how much I love Seph he’s so creepy and his eyes are gorgeous and he’s so intimidating by just being there

And the Whispers... I honestly didn’t like them. I kept forgetting that they existed honestly. They just feel so... detached from the plot. I don’t mind adding new content/story, but the Whispers just... didn’t feel well-implemented. They also felt really campy towards the end. Like, the fact that they could un-stab Barret and shield Avalanche from car accidents while they were escaping? They were legit like “no you can’t die even if you tried because fate” and takes away any tension of the scene because... well, they know they cant die.

That being said, the ending was interesting. I uh. It was interesting! So they actually defeat fate itself in order to change... who knows what. The future, maybe even the past??? I’ve got many thoughts on this

If the future is changed, that can be exciting since people who know the original’s plot won’t know what’s gonna happen next so like- okay!

If the past was changed... y’all know I’m talking about Zack. Was fate changed so that he could live? Keep in mind, we see Whispers surrounding Midgar before they dissipate and Zack’s like “ohey did I get all of em?”, implying that fate would have forbade Zack from ever getting to Midgar. Having the team defeat fate means... Zack may have now reached Midgar.

Is alternate reality/timeline stuff going to happen now???

Cloud’s character revolves around Zack dying. What’ll happen to Cloud now???

I feel so bad for people new to the plot who don’t know who Zack is.

Nomura... you madman.

So with the ending... Nomura and Squenix is setting something up. They’re going for something huge. I uh. I fear, honestly! Because this could very likely get WAY too ambitious and WAY too confusing(Think Dream Drop Distance’s bullshit plot), and could totally fall on its face and end up being Squenix’s biggest flop of all time. But... if this succeeds and they actually pull off whatever they’re trying to pull... holy shit. I would be floored.

I honestly am a bit afraid that the plot will be too confusing for new players. Like- no one would know whats going on with Zack unless they knew the original plot, so like while this would be a great game for FF7 fans, I’m really worried that it won’t be a good game for people new to the series.

Cloud in a dress is the greatest thing and I’m so happy they kept that scene I love him so much the entire scene is so queer <3

But overall, despite some nitpicks, it was a SUPER SOLID game and I’m soooo hype to see where they go with it! I wanna see Cait and Yuffie and Cid and Vincent!!!!!!!!!

#ff7r #I RAMBLE A LOT #ff7r spoilers

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