#which is also just a wonderful number

[vasheden]

DREAM HOUSE DREAM HOUSE

#bless the new wards. I never would have gotten a chance otherwise. #look at the view from my yard! #I'm bout to be incredibly broke making the cutest little forest cabin of my dreams #ffxiv #it's malboro lb 29-29 #which is also just a wonderful number

[synthshenanigans]

The Soul Eclectic has finally hit one mil on Spotify!!!!!

#if it was the amount of plays in total it would be way higher lol #i wonder whos fault that'll be/j #Also! the bidding is very close to 3mil!!!! #which is insane #as for any other number updates uhhhh #on youtube The Bidding is a bit close to 2mil. RoE is close to 1mil [tho they've been like that for awhile] #CJ is about to hit 32k & his channel is almost at 11mil views. which is crazy cos that's like bigger than some countries #like dude basically all of Switzerland would've have seen his channel #well not like literally but he has more views than Switzerlands population. or like any country under 10mil #idk i just looked up country populations aight #crazy either way tho #chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #i feel bad for Heart cos like. TSE & TME are both past 1.5 million #THA is only at 600k :{ #cant believe some of y'all are heartphobic smh/j

[corpsentry]

at the asian american studies sponsored movie screening i run out of my seat to press a button for the presenter and you look away, not in shame, but in anger

go make your own movie.

One where you’re the star

and everything’s my fault

the way you want it to be. I know, it’s easy

to let someone else hold this grief

and sit in the bathtub,

all dressed up to go to the party.

Maybe in this movie it’s your party

and I the party crasher,

holding cymbals and a baseball bat, et cetera.

But we don’t stop getting older when we’re angry

and you’re only twenty,

can’t listen to lullabies at night,

can’t sleep without a blanket

over your head like you’re scared

of your own shadow. God, go

write your own movie.

You could do it,

you’re still

pretty. Angry? Me too.

The bathtub’s overflowing,

the bathroom’s flooding

with whatever you couldn’t say

to the poet with their palms glued shut

in a cheap simulacrum of prayer.

Didn’t you say you were tired? Angry? Me too.

Upset? Unhappy? Me too. Hungry? Lonely? Me too. Me too.

Standing barefoot in the grass

I remembered the month of bad weather.

How I parted the fog with broken hands each night,

looking for your voice.

Oh, I will not forgive you.

Not like this.

With your fingers splayed

against the brute February sky,

lips cracked open like windows,

waiting, like you always are, for me to say the first word.

#my writing #my words #there are many reasons i like tumblr. for example the number of people who keep getting older is very impressive #but also it is nice because unlike my goddamn poetry account (self inflicted damage) half my friends irl do not follow me here #so i can put this poem down. it’s not public grief here it’s anonymous grief! woo #anyway i have just survived possibly the most brutal four weeks of my life and this is including getting dumped a week #before the dance concert in which my ex and i were in more than half the items together. this is including that #but i am OUT #and this poem was written while i was still in but i am O U T #lord being hurt and hurt and being mature and brave and smart makes your HR voice get really good #not by choice #for survival purposes #i am wondering if i should get this laptop. as my water bottle exploded and destroyed my old laptop #i think i will do it #yes. i think so #it is time to start taking care of myself. and so on #so here’s this poem. i wanted to share it because it’s raw and unedited and it has some lines that i think are neat #if it makes you feel some stuff that would make me very happy

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A drawing of @mieczmaszyna 's character Izzy. In the words of its creator, Izzy is a humanoid robot with a white chassis, oval head, black headset, square green glasses, claws, and a tail resembling a cable plug. Ai wears a cowboy hat, vest decorated by a star and bottle cap, pants with tassels, spurred boots, and a red bandanna. He's viewed from the side, kicking up one leg and holding both arms out in front of itself to shoot finger guns, looking excited and rather jaunty. The background is a dull yellow-green, muddied by the warm reddish tone of the drawing, and in paler green are the words "BANG BANG!!" by ais arms. End ID]

robot cowboy!!!

#peridots-art #bots #others' ocs #izzy #mieczmaszyna #gotta admit doing all the shading here was. very fun. insert medic hoo noise #i don't know if people usually read these but @ the intended recipient of this post! if you are!! #i remember first liking your art a year ago (actually only about a week off now lol) when it crossed my dash for the first (/only) time #and then found it again whilst enjoying the funky robot dudes (yesm/p03) and their respective games and I fell in Love with your style #i also was always enthused by the number of my fixations that you also liked! fnv! insc! ultkll! tf2 and hylics which i've never played! #and then there's hk which has been my most prominent special interest for close to two years so. safe to say that was. AWESOME to see #ALSO ALSO!! i think we may be like. mutuals-in-law*2?? #by which i mean one of my two closest friends on this site (holly) is mutuals with a cool artist (sodapop) #who i learned by accident that you've sent asks to before. either way it's cool :] #reserving the caption 'robot cowboys my beloved' for the future cause there are too many! victor and p03 and my own guy atoya and now this? #it is a wonderful problem. anyway i'm also looking at P3RI and realizing how many traits they and izzy share by accident lol #think. that should be all the tags (see: incoherent rambling). really like your stuff and have been meaning to draw something for you for #a while just got nervous 👍

[front-facing-pokemon]

#shedinja #now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokémon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever #y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think #you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is #so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago #and i didn't realize i did‚ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months #i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago #by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up #while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Files……… PLease #and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for #if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear #i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur #spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next #also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there #because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE #you might be asking me… why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there #you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here

[steakout-05]

autistic coded men who have orange cats my beloved

#star trek tng #star trek #star trek data #garfield #garfield jon #jon arbuckle #jetpack joyride #professor brains #jetpack joyride 2 #this is my type. weird silly or otherwise quirky guys who have orange cats #brains being autistic is more just a headcanon i have rather than deliberate coding #but he's been shown to have a few autism-like behaviours and traits across the shorts and jetpack joyride 2 #it's kinda stereotypical but he's more of a logical simple thinker and he finds strings of numbers to be easier to remember than names #which i find to be interesting! he just has different thinking patterns from what i've seen in neurotypicals. and it's like. #it's the autism radar. i can always tell when a fictional character seems to be Not Neurotypical because holy shit they act like me- #-or another autistic person i know! #also all these characters are like. different facets of autism and i think that's so interesting #on the left we have highly logical direct and ''idk what to do with my face or my hands help'' sherlock spin autism #and then there's slightly unhinged dorky possible ADHD combo and complete lack of social skills autism #and finally there's the evil autism #and i love all three of them <3 #i just realised they're also all sitting in big comfy chairs! #jon's armchair looks so comfy though. like i really wanna sit in there #it's probably slightly dirty and most definitely scratched up by garfield but my god that's what make it more homely and comfy #i wonder how many armchairs jon has gotten over the years. i should count all the instances of him having a differently coloured armchair #anyway yeah. autistic cat dads my beloved <3

[i-really-like-phrogs]

And here we have… yet another Aziraphale! He is most certainly my favorite fellow, positively tickety-boo.

#I’ve tried a new brush and I just adore it! It is called PSKI Pencil for anyone wondering. #I doodled this little number while finishing up season One for the first time #(Yes- I did watch the seasons out of order) #I do like the first season but I feel like it had a tendency to drag #To be fair- it had a lot more going on. #Still- The pacing in season two felt way more natural #And it also felt like everything from the acting to the visuals all settled into their roles- which really gave the show its own identity #Both seasons are very good- but season one set the groundwork for something truly spectacular #good omens #aziraphale #azirafell #aziraphel #Good Omens Season 2 #my art #And yes-yes I’ll draw crowley too… someday.

[phantomrose96]

So I know this isn't anything that like actually needs an apology but it'll make me feel a bit better to say it. Oof whoops this ABoT chapter is super late. Timing kinda sucks since I wanted to have some updates out while s3 was airing but

Been kinda mega busy and stressed since October with the whole condo buying thing which rolled right into immediate day 0 plumbing and boiler issues I had to get fixed and general moving hassle and financial commitment stress and I kinda just fried myself hard. Plus then acclimating to a new place without my familiar street or familiar grocery store or familiar room or any of that. Like there's no "just go home and take your mind off it" to this cuz home is the "it". So I'm just kinda enduring until I can calm the hell down.

And anyway I definitely have progress on ch47, like 7000-ish words of it, but it's the kind of like "there is writing there" and hasn't exactly hit the "there is substance there" that I want ABoT chapters to be. Like this in particular is a chapter I want to be good, not just be done. So it's taking time to get my brain somewhere that can do that.

#anyway #i mean just in case anyone was like wondering if its discontinued to anything #its still going i just can't make it Good quite yet #(plus i need to get furniture cuz as it stands the place is really quite empty and bare except for like my room and the kitchen) #(also the bank had my address wrong so they havent been able to send me any of the mortgage information which was technically due already) #(ive been in contact with them but it's a whole thing) #(plus im still not quite finished with all the utility switching. i still need to get water in my name) #(and the boiler issue fucked up my gas bill so now ive got a crazy high gas bill i just need to... pay) #(i have actually started seeing a therapist but thats a whole other Thing now figuring out insurance and deductables and using my HSA #account and just... it's a lot) #(oh also my homeowner's insurance policy number doesn't actually work for getting me into the online portal. and the geico guy said he was #looking into it but I havent heard anything in a while) #(its a lot im just gonna melt for a while i guess) #(plus all the upfront stress has made it really hard to associate the new place as 'home' instead of 'place of great many plumbing evils') #(i sat on like 4 million couches this week and the only one i really really like probably doesn't quite fit in my living room) #(the downstairs neighbors tv is too loud and i need to talk to her about it in a way which isn't 'hey im holding on by a thread and this #one small inconvenience is the thing which is making me turn into ash') #(oh thats right i have to go pay my january HOA dues...) #(oh also I need to file for the owner-occupied tax exemption thing now that its 2023) #anyway......... ill be normal eventually. im just not normal right now. #chrissy speaks

[grumpy-nyks]

The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Davor edition

I-I think Ms. Verner doesn't like him...😳

Davor "Dove" Kovač 🐝 RO: Becca Warrick

Personality: cautious // aloof // pessimistic // flirtatious (only towards Becca ...and Reese??) Traits: head // independent // resistance // believer Past affinity: math Primary ability: extrasensory awareness Past susceptibility: forward. 'it’s better to push forward. don’t look back on the past when you have new places to be and things to achieve.' <<< his motto

🕊️ Fernweh: Davor lived a happy life there and didn't think about leaving in the future. Maybe for some trips, but he knew it would always be his place, his safe place... 'It was a mistake to come back here.' - that was his first thought when he tried to fall asleep on the first night in Fernweh. The nightmares came back as he thought they would. He wants to leave as soon as possible because he feels that it is not safe for Becca to be here.

🕊️ Gramps Dan: That was his gramps who taught Davor how to play the guitar. As a young child, Davor always admired him and believed he was the most intelligent person in the world. After the death of his parents and how his grandfather treated him, he was devastated and angry. He wanted answers soo badly but didn't get any. He lived loathing his grandfather ever since. The news of his passing stirred up a lot of negative emotions that Davor had previously managed to suppress. At the beginning of the story he couldn't care less about his grandfather, but because of his journal he started to believe him. Things that his granfather lived through made Davor even more angry at this messy town …but he's willing to forgive his gramps…

🐝 Becca Warrick: It was a ...funny story that brought both of them together and they look after each other ever since. He considers Becca as his precious (not in a negative-possessive way) treasure, he literally can't let anything bad happen to her. That was also she who came up with the nickname 'Dove'... (and she's literally the only person who calls him that, others wouldn't dare...). He had feelings for her for quite some time but didn't act on it... until now. Although he didn't express it, he felt very nervous about Becca being in the town where he grew up. He was curious (but also scared) about what she could think of this town. He felt like he was revealing more of himself to her…. and he forgot about any worries pretty fast, because the town started being weird as fu--.

🕊️ Reese Verner: Back then Davor was quite cheerful and enjoyed competing with Reese regularly. They teased each other a lot. Davor always thought that Reese had a crush on him, was it true tho? donut know, but he certainly had. ...why does he appear in his nightmares? Maybe the crush stage never disappeared...? Seeing him again was a nice experience, sure... but ignoring the circumstances, he is still unsure if it was worth it and is struggling with his thoughts… Would it be worth it to return to Fernweh just to see him... again? welp, good thing he doesn't have to think about it much, am I right?

🕊️ Sofia Dorran: The two of them maybe did not have a strong relationship, but he knew Sofia is the ideal person for engaging in intelligent conversations. He enjoyed spending time with her, solving the puzzles that gramps created for them both. Davor wasn't a fan of fantasy books, but she managed to change his mind about them. Davor knows that Sofia did take good care of his grandfather, but he still doesn't quite know if he's grateful for that or wished she spent her time more... valuably... He was tempted to ask Sofia to borrow that book she found in his grandfather's bedroom, but he thought better of it. It's better to leave Fernweh… Even so, his curiosity wasn't properly fed.

🕊️ James Corvin: Maybe not brothers by blood, but definitely brothers by choice. Davor treated him as if he was the brother he always wanted to have. Back then Davor always placed a high value on his family… until now. At the time, Davor tended to be more impulsive and James was usually the one who kept him from getting into trouble (which often involved Reese). It was really hard, for both of them, to see each other after so long. Their first interaction was pretty awkward... I would even say that most of their interactions were . James noticed how Davor changed the question is: for the better or worse? I don't even know. Everyone can sense, that things around them are different now, and they aren't as close as before. Will it change?

🕊️ Alek Corvin: …To say that Alek wasn't a fan of Davor would be an understatement. Was it because James spent most of his time focusing only on Davor trying to get him out of trouble? Did Alek observe any possessiveness from Davor towards James? Or maybe simply because of the bond between those two, which was truly something that others would envy and desire? Davor never considered it, especially when he left Fernweh permanently. :)) As you can imagine, Alek doesn't seem very happy about Davor's return… But he took an interest in his new friend, Becca, which did not go unnoticed by Davor and he isn't really happy about it.

🕊️ The Waitress: Oh boy, it seems that Davor has taken up a new hobby, which is glaring harshly at the waitress. He finds her mistrustful and he smells trouble. Had they met when he was younger, there may have been a slim chance of them getting along.

🕊️ Waffles!: So um… Davor has a little issue with dogs and because of that his relationship with Waffles isn't as wonderful as I wish it would be... However, I believe that with time and help from Becca, they will eventually become friends.

#actually about his scar i have this whole headcanon... featuring some...umm.. doggos and Becca... 👀 especially how they met #(Davor was always team cats but after that incident even more xD) #also ouch that naming scene it hurt me so much! but i get it ;; aaaa! Davor why are you being so problematic Waffles is wonderful!!! #it was really interesting for me to messing with Davor in nightmares and showing him Reese!! the feelings the emotions aaaa #also yeeaah Davor thought several times if it would be a good idea to come back to Re-- *cough* Fernweh... and then Becca happened... #generally speaking Davor has a keen interest in Slavic mythologies and culture particularly those from western and southern regions of- #-Europe. I imagine that his father has roots in these regions and he took great pride in his heritage. Often taking about it to Davor #...and since Sofia's a smart girl she lent Davor a fantasy book written by Slavic author who took a great inspiration from Slavic myths👼😊 #yes it was enough to change Davor's mind about fantasy books XD he never really read one before he just assumed it's BORING! #and now I'm sure he will throw questions at Sofia about this book she found even more since he's staying at Fernweh... I can imagine how- #-they both are staying up late studying it and comparing their notes... it would remind Davor about the time they were kids- #-it seems that his Gramps gave them both the last puzzle to solve... will they succeed? #and ooohh that will be a hard time for James and Davor... that rejection at the end of book one wont help them im sure XD #about Davor's 'possesivenes' over James... Davor was needy that's true but he would never think about 'stealing' James from Alek or- #-'claiming' James belongs to him. I hope im not crossing a line here but in my headcanon Alek was TOTALLY jealous over their friendship #and Alek THOUGHT that Davor was receiving more attention from James 👀 #//which obv isn't true because James would never allow it. Alek is always a number one in James' heart// #in mine too I love A!!!! 💖 they're a BABY #but i must say that Davor didn't really think about Alek's feelings back then. he wasn't aware how Alek could feel- that's not an excuse #super curious about book two and how his relationships with every single one of them will develop!!! #fernweh saga #oc: davor kovac #no i totally did NOT change his surname..

[s0fter-sin]

Thinking you shouldn't have to pay for Watcher content is you being entitled, actually.

did i ever say i shouldn’t have to pay for it? no, i said it’s disappointing that i would now have to after years of it being free. it would be easier to take if they were completely changing and upgrading their shows or established that the stream wouldn’t just have their current shows and maybe discontinued ones, that it would be different from their youtube channel and worth the sudden charge, but it’s hard not to feel like they’re throwing their audience under the bus

#from what weve seen the shows will still have the same number of episodes so we arent even getting more of the same content #just nebulous ‘better’ content which could mean anything and also nothing when the shows have gradually started to feel overproduced #it is my and anyone elses right to be disappointed by this #and its a personal choice #if you think its worth the money or if youre in a place where you can afford another service then thats wonderful and i hope you enjoy it #but that doesnt make it any less tone deaf to say we as a company need more money when people cant afford to eat #plenty of creators have successfully crowdfunded their own shows without putting all of it behind a paywall #critical role immediately comes to mind #they have literal thousands of hours of content for free and when it came time to ask for money people showed up for them #the answer didnt have to be put everything on a streaming service when there were plenty of other options #its also just a bad business decision but i dont have the expertise to talk about that #tldr people are allowed to feel however they want about this #also acting like its somehow more ‘authentic’ to get money from your audience #instead of advertisers and sponsors who can actually afford it is sus as hell im just saying #mailbox #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim

[ink-asunder]

Having demand avoidance in a medical setting is literally hell. Like, patient autonomy is already absolute ass. It's only made worse when doctors CONSISTENTLY tell you what to do and act like you HAVE to do it instead of consulting with you first like normal fucking people.

#also “”“”medical necessity“”“” is NOT an excuse here. #ive been to plenty of doctors that thoroughly discuss a range/timeline of treatment and explain it IN DETAIL before saying “thats what i- #-recommend“ instead of just going ”okay were gonna do this. im gonna explain the prep to you a mile a minute and if you have any follow up- #-questions im just gonna repeat part of my spiel with no clarification. and if i cant answer your questions too bad :)“ #not to mention how many doctors just force you to do things that WILL NEVER WORK #like one therapist tried forcing me to do emdr when i was only IN HER TOWN for the summer and i had no internet access when i was at college #im pretty sure emdr takes several weeks to work and i did not have that kind of time available to me. i couldnt just drop out bc of ptsd. #also the number of times ive had to decline an ESI is stupid. I've already had 2! they didn't work! i had a bad reaction to the meds! #why am i being forced to do it again? #also back surgery. i cant do that because i am a white trash rural kid and our home (which we built ourselves) CANNOT be accessible enough #for spinal surgery recovery. but i went to the surgeon and he was like “thats valid! and also surgery literally wouldnt help you so idk why- #-they sent you here.“ : l It's cool to be right all the time lol #its like. no wonder i developed medical demand avoidance after so much traumatizing and malpracticy bullshit in my life #demand avoidance #medical demand avoidance #chronic illness burnout #chronic illness #chronic pain #medical tw #ptsd #disability #medical neglect #medical trauma #vent #this might be too personal. if i do delete it ill have it rb'd on my boar-deer-whitetrashbutterfly blog first #idk i just havent really been able to find anyone else talking about this specific effect of being chronically ill/disabled.

[fansids]

Quick question to literally anyone more knowledgeable than me: Chef Zhu specifies that though his past life was a yaoguai, he is not, and calls himself a person instead.

I noticed this in the Spider Queen special as well where Chef Zhu says "He's literally a demon!" in reference to Red Son. Xiaotian also calls Red Son a demon a bit after that. Which all seemed hypocritical to me at the moment, but this separation comes up multiple times in season 4.

So is Chef Zhu not a yaoguai? He's not eating people or causing general havoc, but still. Is this something specific to the show or are there like actual characteristics that he portrays that would separate him in that regard?

Would this mean that since Red Son stopped being a villain then he stops being a yaoguai as well?

#lmk s4 spoilers #monkie kid spoilers #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk is also set in the futureish so I wonder if this is just a language thing due to the larger number of yaoguaish ppl walking around #like yaoguai specifies one who like eats ppl and/or portrays generally violent brutish beahvior #which I guess would allow for Red Son & pa to be called that

[vickyvicarious]

As I was talking about the Demeter today, I decided to make a graph for anyone else who has been having trouble visualizing just how bad these attacks are.

Not only is the time between attacks getting shorter each time, but the number of crew available to actually sail the ship is getting drastically smaller.

There's also a second graph under the cut with spoilers for the entire journey, if anyone's interested:

(The ship doesn't wash ashore for several more days, so I just set the captain's death the day after his last entry. It's definitely possible he stayed alive a day or two more, though, and just stayed lashed to the wheel and didn't write anything else.)

#dracula daily #i'm not actually good at excel or anything so i just used a free template online #which is why i couldn't get the crew to be listed in actual 1-9 numbers sorry #it would only put 5 data points on the vertical and i got tired of trying to change it #dracula meta #i suppose #my meta #also. when you factor in which of these days had bad weather it kinda makes you wonder whether ol drac was planning at all #almost seems like whenever he could stand it abovedecks (after a certain point) he went up for a snack #or maybe it was because the bad weather bothered him and he needed more energy i dunno

[topaztimes]

Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that

#Giving time... #Still more time... #Wouldn't want to plague any previews #Maybe another filler. Just for some fun #Is this enough? #It certainly is now #Alright start: #I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight #'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state / #/of constant self-loathing #I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea #What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not / #/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed #I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore #I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done #I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though #I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I / #/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward #I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme #Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way #God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs #It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my / #/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days #Literally what am I doing this for #And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with / #/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life #Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me #Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus #I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore #It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until

[carpisuns]

I’ve clocked 120 hours of totk play time in three weeks girl help

I haven’t even done much side stuff!! Just the main quests! google says you’re supposed to be able to do main quest in like 60 hours but I took twice as long 🫠 the curse of being…just not good at video games but still very invested…lol

#I also have 125 hours of botw #which I played immediately before this #it probably took me 100 hours to finish those main quests but I was doing more side stuff along the way #for totk I was really trying to focus on the main storyline and STILL it took me this long #good grief #miracle I even made it through the final boss lol #I can’t believe I’ve played 245 hours of zelda in the past two months #numerical proof that I do not have a life HDSKDK #I wonder if these numbers are increased or decreased by the fact that my sister and I play together #she does most of the shrines and I do most of the dungeons and bosses #and we kind of take turns with side sfuff/exploration #but I’ve definitely played more than her #anyway #I still have so much of totk left. and I’ve barely touched the botw DLC #these games are just. Huge #And totk is even more massive #I have so many lightroots to get lol

[novelconcepts]

i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

#i'm finishing it if it kills me #i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever #if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement #and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written #which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos. #but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum. #this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering. #happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship? #(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.) #but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you #not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish #and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened. #so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it. #kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature. #so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work) #anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping #to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy #and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished #come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers. #(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)