#why do i torture myself for them

[severedegg]

the sillies ever <33

#my art #wh #welcome home #wally darling #howdy pillar #eddie dear #barnaby b beagle #mewmew <3333 #i love welcome home #im annoyed though cause im tryna balance drawing fanart and doing this really fucking detailed commission that im torturing myself with #welcome home fanart #also dont ask why 5000 apples its for comedic effect lmao #i imagine they take them all to poppy n they help bake them into things and experiment lol #her getting all frazzled that theres so many boxes of apples outside her door tehe <3

[hejee]

(WIP) the voice in my head is telling me to add more plants so maybe i should

#solavellan #lavellan #solas #work in progress bc im an ass i wanna add so much more details but i have no idea if i can color them all lmao #why am i doing this? i have no idea really #but it does give me serotonin so yeah ig that’s a good reason to torture myself even further #modern au bc i can’t find a good medieval looking greenhouse on google to get references at so

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[absurdumsid]

So horrorpills has guide sans... How about angel with Juniper?

i think this is the actual final design for these guys now

Angel! and Keeper! Sans belong to me !

side note i dont mind my characters being shipped with others', do whatever u want lol <- person who shipped HP with Mori the moment he was introduced

#underangel #angel sans #keepertale #keeper sans #undertale au #sans au #sid art #sid ocs #sid answers #looking for a font for them was so difficult because it had to be similar enough to blend together #why do i torture myself with this

[spirits-art-blog]

Some more monster Vash au, starring Knives! He only has a couple differences compared to Vash's full monster form, that being his black markings, his smoother feathers, and a different tail shape. He also has a little more control over himself when fully transformed, that manifesting as him having less of an aggressive prey drive, although he is still very much a big monster mentally.

#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #trigun au #millions knives #knives saverem #vash the stampede #vash saverem #monster vash au #i really do like torturing myself by giving them TEN wings #idk why i always choose the most exhausting designs to draw #i do love their monster faces tho #just silly goofy guys that wanna bite you

[shostakobitchh]

I've been spending a lot of time writing this Severitus horror oneshot and have realized that it's going to be... quite massive, but I'm loving the direction it's headed in. I thought I'd share someone of my favorite little moments so far, without spoiling too much.

#sam speaks #severitus #oneshot #I don't even know what to tag this #its fucking scary dude #literally spooked myself before #had all the lights off and its raining and im home alone #and I was like NOPE gotta take a break #why do I love torturing them

[4arconinoma]

bitches i haven1t drawn yet compilation

#i was suposed to draw way more of them but i got tired sorryu #madcom #madness combat #my art #dr hofnarr #jebediah christoff #how do i tag torture #mag agent torture #sure why not #im trying to let myself draw more simple like this though (as in grunts) human drawings are kind of exhausting sometimes #''simple'' its fucking rendered i wasnt even meant to render these but i couldnt stop myself. thats why im too tired to make more -_- #its still easier on me though

[skitskatdacat63]

I meant to write more for a pt 2 lore post earlier but didn't end up doing so, so pls take these AU sketches(Mark & Jense and then some assorted sketchies)

#i should never have drawn them as catboys bcs now they appear as catboys in mind half the time 😭😭 #its only on paper but i drew more catboy sketches of them than whats included here 😭 #seb reminds me of my cat where hes being all nice and cuddly and then will bite you out of nowhere #seb in his frilly nightgown is very important to me!!! #i meant to draw both of them in nightgowns but brain wasnt worked too well tonight #so thats why these are mostly half finished #the bottom seb is too remind myself i have a regular art style 😭😭😭 #mark in this au is so funny to me. bro is tortured by having to be with seb like practically every waking moment #he basically is a offically provided live-in bestie 😭😭 #*based on real life thing. i think its funny how you can be royalty yourself + #but bcs youre not part of the imperial family you can still be reduced to the job of having to dress the emperor 😭 #^ so thats mark in this au #seb promoted him to an important role when he became emperor but still makes mark do his old duties 🤭🤭 #jense is in charge of all the horses and transport and things. thus: ye olde horse girl #im sorry but in historical AUs all f1 drivers are legally obligated to be horse girls. its literally canon #so sorry for the catboy sketch. it will happen again. #but ig i dont wanna go too deep into lore stuff in these tags cause yeah. another post in the works!! #i think about it and have talked about it a lot. but its hard to like contain all of it to bullet points and such #my brain is not built for writing fic i think so idk of youll ever get that from me. but lore yes i will deliver #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #jenson button #mark webber #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art. #formula 1 #boy king au

[the-acid-pear]

I hate vagueposting in fandom give me a direct link and a list of reasons why I'd be as upset as you

#luly talks #like i saw someone complain about mischaracterization like brother. please link me bc im not even finding content myself #also i saw them fandom being obvs dayshift go that's too crude!! over characterization and now im like insanely curious #bc. like. have. have we played the same games? #have you seen the words that leave the mouth of those men. #like what DID you fucking see that's too crude??? #like if we're complaining about mischaracterization then the goal should be to stick to canon and they're fucking. #bad sentence ender they're havign sex but they're just fucking nuts. #in fact the fandom cuts a lot of slack from these ppl A #JACK ESPECIALLY the things this guy has said not only in 1 but also in 3 #flipside dave voice i know we're child murderers and all but that's messed up. that's all im saying #ngl i was trying to find the original picture to quote it accurately but instead i found me and blood comparing randy to purps #when i was doing his bad route #i miss randy I'd go torture him again today #WAIT I FORGOT HE ATE CAR KEYS WHY DID HE DO THAT. #i need to go back to that man he's. #do dissectable #top 10 guys I'd cannibalize and then catch an illness from #sorry i got super off topic

[bitegore]

god i really forgot that every business management professor specifically is the most unpleasant human being alive for no good reason. i have two business classes with like econ and accounting professors respectively and those look fine and then oh my god if i have to go back to this class with this professor i think i might actually kill myself

#red rambles #she's not. *mean*. she is. um. fucking. i think condescendiing is the word #she made us do a kahoot in class on questions we didn't know explicitly because she knew we didn't know them. i hate kahoots #she went through the syllabus like we were children which. fine whatever every professor does that it's why i hate the first class #but she also kept going off topic to give us life advice. never give me life advice ill fucking kill you #im really not sure what else was my fucking problem but i genuinely felt like i was being psychologically tortured #also i have done one of the several assignments for the class already and they're babyshit but its going to be one of my most #busywork heavy classes and she wants us doing discussion questions every fucking week #and i have to download yet another fucking app for her class #and i need it for my degree plan but oh my GOD. i need to get the fuck out of it #im gonna try and find a different session of the class taught by a different professor and switch in #do you know how much i have to hate a class if im willing to eat two entire finished homework assignments to get out of it #eta. i take it with this professor or i take it with a different professor i know and already know i cant stand #who is also going to work us like dogs unlike this prof who is going to apparently treat us like we are 14 years old #i guess its not college if i'm not being forced to experience psychological torment for an hour and a half every couple days lol #ill just have to like eat something before that class and do my best to fortify myself before i go in and turn evil

[mustlovesteve]

I’ve read some excellent one-shots but… Are there any longer Steddie fics where Steve doesn’t tell Eddie about the Russian torture trauma and agrees to be tied up but gets triggered by that?

#Steddie #torture mention #I couldn’t write this myself because I don’t do smut and I don't understand BDSM/bondage lmao but like #I had some specific Ideas #Steve not wanting to be difficult or whatever so he just goes along with it #can he hide his panicking? does he make an excuse to run off afterwards? #either way he’d be avoiding Eddie for a while. this wouldn't get resolved that night. #and Eddie might approach Robin about it because it turns out Steve is excellent at hasty exits #Robin would know because Steve would tell her and she’s the only person who would truly Get It #so she would be evasive too. it's not her place to say much. #god and what a difficult conversation for them if it's taken days to talk about it at all oof #as for why steve wouldn’t say anything during #I could imagine him getting really stuck in his head where #it becomes less about not disappointing Eddie and more about ‘there was nothing I could say that would make it stop’ #and then he feels stupid afterwards because that wasn’t the case here at all #BUT ALSO. were they dating? or were they just fooling around? either way has its own horrible angst potential.

[widevibratobitch]

.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡 #and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡 #like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

[lesbianlenas]

i have been trying to kill this boss in ds2 for 3 days i was going to finish the game in time for when i go back to school but now i don’t think i will 😔 i should prob be able to defeat him tomorrow maybe bc i got armor that’s supposed to make it easier but idk if i will still have enough time to finish the rest….i still have 4 chapters left in the walkthrough now so i think i am doomed to have the last bit hanging over me until my next break 😩 (i cant play dark souls during law school or else i will lose the will to live entirely fun games ONLY)

#michelle speaks #i am so mad bc the walkthrough told me to kill this one guy and did not specify to only do it #if you were planning to do ng+ after u finish and i am obvs not going to do that #so i killed this guy who was the only one who sold some materials i really would have liked to have had for this boss fight #and u can’t buy them anywhere else 😑 walkthrough why would u assume i would put myself thru the torture of not just playing the game again #but doing it in even harder mode like 😭😭😭 i’m not going to do that!!!!!!

[samsrowena]

decided my next spn rewatch is just going to be all the buckleming episodes because i simply need to figure out what the fuck was going on in their strange little heads

#i love torturing myself apparently #though to be honest. they actually wrote a lot of the episodes i like lol which is ultimately why i want to study them #because as we all know. they also wrote many of the worst eps in the show. the duality of shitty cw writers i guess #anyway i will probably turn this into a fully fledged writer's watch after i'm done with buckleming #in no particular order. though i will more than likely do yockey next just as a palate cleanser aldhkgfldls #spn.txt #bucklemingnatural

[ceoandslutler]

ciel-romantic asexual!sebastian and aromantic sebastian-sexual!ciel would be the greatest sebaciel tragedy of all time

#nsft implied #i just wanna say that this is no way an 'aces and aros are bad/tragic' post #i am on the ace spectrum myself #angst fic?! #have them be oblivious and think the other is playing hard to get #sex neutral asexual sebastian ftw! #ftw autocorrected to ftm and that's cool too #ciel initiating sex everytime and saying 'why do you never start anything with me?' and sebastian just blinking and saying 'do u luv me' #sebaciel culture is hating sebastian enough to put him thru this torture but loving him enough to let him be with ciel #sebaciel #kuroshitsuji #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #ciel x sebastian #sebastian x ciel #syshitposts

[ilomiart]

I just couldn't resist trying out the art style of one of Eve's music videos, they're too cool and inspiring

#art #digital art #artists on tumblr #illustration #I love Eve's music and videos holy cow they're masterpieces #the hand almost drove me crazy #why do I torture myself with them