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daisynik7 · 9 months

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hi, nikki :) congrats on 2k, my love 💕you deserve it and more! i’m just sending in a lil something for the milestone event: (i bet you look good on the dancefloor) by arctic monkeys — fluff/smut for reiner braun! thank you so much in advance, lovely! 🎀

I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor

Pairing: Reiner Braun x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~4.7k

cw: modern-day au, college au, drinking (everyone is 21+), fluff, smut – PIV sex (missionary), cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, pet names (sweetheart, baby)

Summary: You, a college senior who’s lived a mostly vanilla lifestyle the past four years, meet the alluring and mysterious Reiner at your friend’s birthday party. He’s different from you in many ways, but something about him captivates you like no other. When he invites you to an underground concert, you take a chance with him, craving for a taste of something different.

Author’s Notes: @pinkmirth Mira, my love! Thank you for participating in the y2k karaoke party! I appreciate you so so much and I hope I did your hubby justice with this one! I went a little over the word count that I originally thought I would, but I just couldn’t help it! I got too caught up in the setup, LOL, sorry! Special shoutout to @mobolanz for always posting amazing Reiner content that kept me motivated to finish this hehe.

Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are ALWAYS appreciated! Thank you for reading! MDNI banner by @/cafekitsune. Header image from Pinterest (although I’m fairly certain it’s from the manhwa 19 Days).

It’s Annie’s 22nd birthday today; instead of going out to a club or bar, she decides she’d rather have a kickback with her closest friends, eating pizza and drinking cheap alcohol. Armin and Eren offer to host at their place, which is a twenty-minute walk from the university. As an RA for one of the freshman dorms on campus, it’s nice to get out every once in a while in the city that you so rarely have a chance to explore, even if it is just at someone else’s house. When you arrive, you recognize all of the people already there, other students you either personally know or have seen in passing. You greet Annie with a hug, handing her a small gift bag with a bottle of her favorite liquor. “Thank you!” she exclaims. “I’m so glad you were able to make it.”

“Me too! Though, I’ve got my work phone on me in case there are any emergencies,” you reply, pointing to the crossbody bag hanging on your shoulder.

“Always so responsible. Such a good girl,” she teases, pinching your cheek.

In your four years as a college student, you haven’t done anything outside of your comfort zone. You waited until you were officially legal to drink, and even now, you barely do it. Studies and extracurriculars always took priority over your social life, and while you have a solid group of friends, you haven’t done anything remotely wild. It’s not because you don’t have the desire to, there’s just never been a good opportunity.

You spend the next half hour chatting with a few of the partygoers, sharing stories on certain professors, gossiping about other students, all while nursing a White Claw, sipping it slowly. It seems all of Annie’s friends are already here, so you don’t except anyone else to arrive. So, it surprises you when there’s a loud pounding on the door. Everyone glances towards it, curious at who it is. Annie answers, revealing two well-built men. One of them is incredibly tall that he has to duck down to enter through the doorway. The other is slightly shorter, though still impressive, with broad shoulders and a muscular physique. He has short blond hair, a trimmed goatee, sharp jawline, and an intimidating gaze. Something about his appearance is striking, and you’re immediately intrigued.

You watch as they embrace the birthday girl, who punches them playfully in the shoulders. “Long time, no see, punks.”

“Sorry, Annie,” the taller one apologizes. “Classes have been a colossal pain lately.”

“And I’ve been busy at the shop,” the other adds. His voice is exactly what you imagine it would be like: gruff, husky. Sexy. Your interest piques even more, and you can’t remember the last time you felt this way about anyone, especially a complete stranger. When he removes his black leather jacket, your eyes widen at the reveal of his biceps, toned and sculpted like a marble statue. He’s wearing a fitted white tank with dark jeans, a chain hanging on the loop of his waistband with a small set of keys dangling. As if he couldn’t get any more attractive, here he is, flaunting his ripped body. You continue to watch him as he hangs his jacket on the coat rack by the door, inspecting the room while talking to Annie. “So, are these all college friends of yours?”

“Yup. You’re the only delinquents here,” she jokes, passing each of them a beer.

“Shut up,” he laughs, twisting the cap off to take a swig. “Whose house is this anyways?”

She points to Armin and Eren, who sit on the couch, talking animatedly. “It’s theirs. They were nice enough to offer.”

“Cool. I guess I should go mingle, then. Unless you think these people will be scared of me.”

“Some of them could use some scaring, if you know what I mean,” she replies with a smirk.

The two strangers make their way towards the hosts, shaking their hands to introduce themselves. You take this chance to approach your friend in the kitchen. “Annie, how do you know them?”

“Bertolt and Reiner? Oh, they’re childhood friends of mine. We all grew up together in Marley.”

“Oh,” you nod. “Cool.”

She raises a brow at you. “Why? Are you interested?”

“No! I was just curious! I’ve never seen them around before.” Your voice is squeaky, and you’ve clearly given yourself away.

She snickers, nudging you in the arm. “I can introduce you if you want. They’re a lot nicer than they look.”

“No, I wouldn’t want to bother them – ”

“Reiner!” Annie calls out to the blond, and heat instantly surrounds your face. Too late to turn back, you stand up straight, watching the attractive man return to the kitchen, finished with his beer. “What’s up?”

“I want you to meet my friend.” Annie beckons you forward, stating your name. You smile at him, holding your arm out.

He flashes a charming grin at you, enough to send a flutter in your belly. “I’m Reiner. Nice to meet you.” He shakes your hand, gripping you firmly.

“I’m going to go socialize. You two get along, okay?” Annie departs quickly, leaving you and Reiner to get acquainted.

“I heard that you’ve known Annie since she was a kid,” you start, attempting small talk. “What was she like back then?”

He leans on the refrigerator door, folding his arms across his chest, displaying his large chest. “She was a little shit, just like she is now,” he laughs. “She’s probably tamer since college though. We used to get into a bunch of fights together.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She can really kick some ass if she wanted to.” He licks his lips before asking, “How do you know her?”

You try not to get distracted by the dirty thoughts swimming in your head right now, more and more attracted to him by the second. “We met in a class back in sophomore year, and we’ve been friends ever since. She’s really fun to be around.”

“And how about you?” His eyes bore into yours, and there’s an intensity in his gaze that you’re drawn by. “Are you fun to be around?”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. “Probably not. I’m pretty vanilla.”

“Vanilla is good.”

“Vanilla is safe,” you argue.

“It’s also sweet, creamy, and delicious.”

You giggle, already so smitten by him. “Are you telling me that I’m sweet, creamy, and delicious?”

“I guess I’ll have to find that out myself.” There’s a twinkle in his eyes as he speaks to you, and this could be wishful thinking, but a spark ignites between you. For the first time in your uneventful college life, you’re flirting with the outsides of your comfort zone, slowly gravitating towards this mysterious and alluring stranger. And it’s exciting.

You continue your conversation, exchanging little flirtations here and there, learning more about him. The friend he arrived with, Bertolt, currently goes to school in Marley, where they both live. Reiner is a mechanic at a car shop in his hometown of Liberio. He’s never attended college and doesn’t plan to, already set to inherit the shop when the owner retires. On the weekends, he enjoys riding his motorbike around town and going out to underground concerts. You reveal to him how different your weekends are compared to his, considering you usually stay in.

“Have you ever been to an underground concert?” The two of you have moved into Annie’s room now, where it’s quieter and away from the rest of the party. It was your idea; you weren’t thinking about how it would look, asking him to move into a more intimate setting. He keeps a safe distance from you at the edge of the bed, the door ajar so that you can barely hear the chatter outside.

“No, never,” you reply. “I used to listen to some alternative rock back in the day.”

“Really?” He seems surprised as he takes a sip out of his water cup. “Who?”

You hum, trying to remember. You name a few, then end with, “Oh! And the Arctic Monkeys!”

When he starts singing the chorus to one of their songs, your face lights up, recognizing the familiar tune. “Yes! I love that one!” you beam, nodding along with him.

There’s that endearing twinkle again, scooting closer to you. “You’re so cute.”

His comment catches you off guard, and just when you thought you were keeping your cool, your whole body starts to heat up, completely flustered at the sudden compliment. “What?”

“I said you’re so cute,” he repeats, unfazed. As if he didn’t just rock your world.

You swallow loudly. “Thank you. You’re really…handsome.”

He bursts out laughing, maintaining his gaze on you. “Handsome. The last time I heard that was from my mom when I was a kid.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to say?!”

“Hey, I’ll take it. I’m more than happy with that.” He leans forward and you’re gravitating towards him, gradually closing the gap between you. You’re inches from his face, so close to kissing, when your phone rings loudly in your purse on the nightstand. It startles the both of you, taking you a second to realize that it’s your work phone, indicating some sort of RA emergency.

One of your residents is begging to be let in after losing their keys somewhere. You tell them you’re on your way, giving Reiner a guilty glance. When you’re finished with the call, you explain the situation. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

“I’ll give you a ride,” he offers, standing up.

“I drove here, so I’m fine. But thank you.”

“Then I’ll walk you to your car.” You don’t have the heart to reject him once more, so you agree, delivering quick goodbyes to your friends and to Annie, who eyes you curiously as Reiner follows you out. He walks beside you with his hands in his pockets, not speaking. When you’re at the door, he utters your name. “I’d really like to see you again.” He looks nervous, all the confidence he exuded earlier reduced into a shy expression.

You smile at him, chest swelling. “I’d really like to see you too.”

“Next weekend, there’s a concert I think you’d enjoy. It’s in Marley, but I can totally come here to pick you up and – ”

Before he starts rambling, you interrupt him politely. “I don’t mind driving to you. It’s not that far.” You give him your phone; he enters his number as a new contact. You give him a quick call so that he has yours. It’s like you’re teenagers, awkwardly exchanging info, all giddy and timid. “Text me the details, okay?”

“Yeah, I will.” He waits until you’re in the car, waving at you one last time before he shuts the door carefully. You glance at him through the rear-view mirror, grinning as he watches you drive off, already wishing it was next weekend.

~~~

Saturday finally arrives, the day you’ve been eagerly anticipating since the night you met Reiner. It’s unusual for you to be so enamored with someone you’ve only known for a week, worst of all, met once. You’ve been messaging non-stop since, even upgraded to a phone call last night that almost went until morning. And now, you’re pulling into a guest parking spot outside his apartment complex with an overnight bag hidden away in your trunk, just in case.

You head up a flight of stairs, searching for his number on the row of doors until you find the correct one, knocking twice, heartbeat already quickening. He answers promptly, dressed in a fitted black t-shirt that accentuates his ripped build. You swallow the saliva gathering in your mouth to greet him casually, hoping he doesn’t notice you practically drooling for him. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he mimics, smiling at you. “You ready to go?”

You nod, surprised when he dangles two helmets, presenting one of them to you. “Are we taking your bike?”

“Yeah. That’s the only way I get around. Is that okay with you?”

You hesitate before responding, “Sure.”

He gives you a reassuring look. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me. I promise.”

You learn soon enough that Reiner is a man of his word. With your arms around his waist, latched firmly to his abs, all you feel is exhilaration. He cruises through the streets of Marley, the night sky illuminated by the blur of city lights as you pass through downtown. The two of you don’t speak, the whoosh of wind rushing past your ears too deafening to hear anything but that and the engine. When he’s at a stop, he turns around to check on you, giving you a thumbs up, which you return enthusiastically. It also helps that he smells amazing: the subtle cologne on his clothes, the clean scent of his skin. Everything about him is attractive, and you can’t help but be drawn to him even more than you already were.

He parks his bike in an alley next to a venue with a big marquee, spelling the name “Lakua”. Below it shows that a band called “The Warriors” are playing tonight. You hop off first, unbuckling your helmet and passing it to him. He knocks a specific rhythm on a nearby door, and suddenly, a girl with wavy, black hair answers, grabbing them from his hands. “Thanks Pieck,” he says.

“Sure. Who’s you’re friend?” She examines you, smiling.

He states your name, adding, “I met her at Annie’s party last week.”

“I see,” she muses. “Well, have fun tonight.” With that, she winks at you, then shuts the door.

“We can go through the front,” he tells you, leading the way out of the alley and underneath the bright sign you saw earlier. There’s a bearded bouncer with wire-rimmed glasses at the front who acknowledges Reiner with a nod. “Evening, Reiner. IDs please.”

As you retrieve your licenses, Reiner slips him a wad of cash for admittance. “Hey Zeke. Did you hear them warm up?”

“Yep.” He juts his chin towards you. “Porco and Marcel are in top form tonight. Your pretty friend here is in for a real treat.”

“Great, we’re going in now,” Reiner responds quickly, wrapping his arm around you to steer you through the door. There’s a bar on one side, stocked with the typical shelves of liquor and four bartenders serving those that crowd around them. On the opposite end is a stage, set up with instruments, speakers, and lights. There’s a horde gathered near the front, waiting for the main act to start.

Reiner’s breath is warm on your ear when he says, “Follow me.” He holds your hand delicately, expertly maneuvering through the throng of concertgoers. He leads you past a curtained door towards the back, towards a closed room, knocking the same rhythm from earlier. It’s Pieck who answers, opening the door to usher you inside. “Hello again.”

On the couch are two men who resemble each other. Another with light brown hair stands in front of the mirror, fixing his hair. When you and Reiner enter, they all look, happily yelling, “Reiner!”

He introduces you to the brothers, Porco and Marcel, the two who are seated. They both play guitar and do vocals, Porco being the lead. Colt, who gives you a friendly wave, is their drummer. Pieck, the bassist, formally introduces herself. Together, they are The Warriors.

“We mostly do covers,” Marcel explains. “But we have some stuff in the works.”

“We tried to get Reiner to join, but he’s as tone-deaf as they come,” Porco teases, poking him in the arm.

Reiner chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s true. I’m pretty awful.”

“But he’s really good at other things. I’m sure you know that already,” Marcel comments, smirking.

Pieck shoves the guitarist’s arm. “Don’t be gross.” She redirects her attention to you. “Anyways, I hope you enjoy the show. Reiner’s been bugging us all week with requests. I have a hunch that you have something to do with it.”

You smile at him, noticing a faint blush on his cheeks. “Requests?”

“You’ll see,” he replies, grinning.

When it’s time for the band to perform, you make your way back to the dancefloor, more packed than it was when you first arrived. You manage to squeeze your way towards the front, Reiner huddled close behind you. Normally, you’d be claustrophobic, surrounded by all these hot, sweaty strangers. Reiner places his hands on your shoulders, leaning in to say, “I’m right here, okay? It might get a little rowdy, so if you want to leave, just tell me.”

You crane your neck to face him; he’s extremely close to you, enough that your noses are almost touching. It’s tempting to shift just the slightest bit forward and kiss him, but you resist the urge, already thrilled to be with him like this.

The crowd hollers as The Warriors strut across the stage, waving. At the mic, Porco yells, “Y’all ready to have fun tonight?!”

Louder applause erupts, and once Marcel starts a familiar guitar riff, it’s chaos in the best way possible. Soon, the bassline hits, then the drums, and your entire body thumps with each beat. It’s a song you recognize, and you’re impressed at how accurate they sound to the original while maintaining their own unique style. Marcel harmonizes perfectly with his brother, and together, their charisma on stage hypes everyone up. You bop your head to the melody, grinning ear-to-ear at how fun this is, the energy that surrounds you contagious. Reiner sways with you, grazing your back. You reach for his hand, brushing it with yours, turning to face him. “They’re so good!” you yell.

The two of you continue to enjoy the concert, dancing in whichever way the rest of the crowd is moving. You notice halfway through the setlist that many of the songs they’re playing are from artists you listed for him the night you met. The realization really hits you when the iconic intro from the Arctic Monkeys song Reiner hummed for you starts, and you turn completely around with the biggest smile on your face. He beams at you, equally as thrilled, dancing erratically with your fingers entwined together, mouthing the lyrics at each other, completely in sync.

~~~

It's past midnight by the time you make it back to Reiner’s place. Your skin is sticky from sweat, eardrums heavy from the concert, and you really don’t want to go home. You’re unsure if Reiner feels the same way until he unlocks his front door, suggesting, “Do you want to sleep over?” He asks it casually, though there is a hint of hesitation.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I have enough stuff you can use. You can borrow my clothes.”

You’re completely aware of the bag tucked away in your car right now, but the idea of wearing his clothes is too enticing, so you don’t mention it.

While you shower in his bathroom, your curiosity gets the best of you. You inspect all the products he uses, sniffing the pleasant scent before lathering it on yourself, satisfied with smelling exactly like him. You brush your teeth in front of the foggy mirror, wrapped in a towel, wondering how tonight is going to end. Should you make the first move? Should you make any move at all? Even with the vibes totally there, you’re still uncertain if he reciprocates your feelings. There’s this titillating tension hanging in the air, but you’re too nervous to cut it, afraid of rejection, of misunderstanding. Maybe this is the furthest the two of you will go, so you take advantage of this moment, hugging yourself in his t-shirt and boxers he lent you, inhaling his essence until it’s ingrained in your memory.

After you’re done, you walk out of the bathroom. He sits at the edge of the bed, scrolling through his phone. When he sees you, his eyes widen, scanning you up and down. “Wow.” It escapes out of his mouth abruptly, and he stammers, “Um, sorry. I’m…I’m going to shower now.” He gets up, avoiding your gaze, locking himself inside.

Maybe this isn’t the furthest the two of you will go.

~~~

You sit up in the bed, resting against the headboard, waiting for him. After a few minutes, he walks out, waist wrapped in a towel, chest bared and dewy with water. He glances at you, looking away to search his drawer for a new shirt. The tension is palpable, even more so now than ever before.

You clear your throat, wanting to break this unbearable silence. “Thank you again for letting me stay here.”

“Of course,” he mumbles, sliding a shirt over his head. He bends down to retrieve a pair of boxers on the lower shelf, slipping it underneath his towel. Dressed, he returns to the bathroom to hang his towel on the rack. You watch him carefully, so many thoughts racing in your head, the words on the tip of your tongue. He stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, staring at the carpet beneath his feet. “I’ll be on the couch if you need anything,” he murmurs, heading towards the door.

“Reiner, wait.”

He faces you, eager. “Yes?”

“Sleep here with me.” You pat the space next to you. “Don’t make me lonely tonight.”

He swallows thickly, taking long strides to get to you quick, crawling beside you. “Are you sure?”

You nod, reaching out to touch his cheek. “Absolutely sure.”

Fingers laced around the nape of his neck, you pull him in for a kiss, his plush lips surrounding yours seamlessly. He kisses you with fervor, slipping into your mouth, tongue swirling around yours. You yank on his collar, stretching the fabric, imploring him to strip his top off, which his does in a fluid motion. Caged between his biceps, you lay beneath him, caressing his face while you smother him in your kisses. When you break free to catch your breath, he nuzzles his nose to yours, whispering, “I’ve been waiting all night to do this. All week, actually.”

“Yeah?” you coo, trailing down his neck, flushed with excitement. “So have I.”

“You’re so fucking sexy in my clothes,” he huffs, hooking the elastic of your boxers with his finger. “You’re not wearing any panties, are you?”

You shake your head, and he smirks, sliding down the bed to position himself between your legs, tugging at your bottoms. You lift your hips up, wriggling out as he removes them off you, tossing it behind him. He stares at your pussy, throbbing and aching for his touch. Grabbing you behind the knees, he spreads you open, exposing your cunt. He doesn’t dawdle any longer, diving in to spread his tongue on your clit. You throw your head back into the pillows, staring at the ceiling, vision blurry from pleasure as he eats you out, determined to have his thirst quenched. He swallows every ounce of you, running his tongue along your slit and flicking it on your bud. And when your orgasm is so close to the peak, he puckers around you, sucking on your clit until it’s raw and swollen. You climax, squirming and whining, clenching the bedsheets, twisting it in your fists.

“Fuck,” he muffles, lapping at your cum as it spills out of your cunt. “Getting so messy for me.” His finger teases your entrance while he continues to flick his tongue on your sensitive bud. “Can you give me one more?” he coos, peering up at you with adoration, placing a wet smooch on the inside of your thigh. “Pretty please, sweetheart?”

You have no choice but to oblige, sinking into the cushions once more, twitching with ecstasy as he strokes your pussy with your clit in his mouth. There’s nothing on your brain except for Reiner and all the different positions he can fuck you in. You come a second time with two of his digits inside you, pussy covered in spit and arousal. He chuckles, scattering kisses along your body until he’s face-to-face with you, rubbing his nose to yours affectionately. His stiff cock protrudes from his boxers, and you reach down to palm it, kissing his lips, glossy with your slick.

He moans, rutting into your hand. “You’re a fucking dream, you know that?”

You smile, pressing your forehead to his. “I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

He stretches his arm towards the nightstand, searching the top drawer to retrieve condoms and a bottle of lube. “Think you can take me?” he smirks, shoving his underwear down his legs, erection sprung against his chiseled abs. He’s bigger than you fantasized; your pussy throbs, yearning to be filled by his impressive cock. You nod dumbly, salivating for him. He scoots closer, removing his boxers, stroking himself rapidly, licking his lips. “I knew you would taste good. Sweet, creamy. Delicious.”

You giggle, remembering what he said to you a week ago. Spreading your thighs open, you caress your clit between your fingers, watching him pump his cock in his fist. “Fuck,” you moan, growing impatient. “Fuck me, Reiner. Hurry.”

Ripping the wrapper with his teeth, he rolls the condom on his cock, coating it with a generous amount of lube. “Okay, beautiful. I’ll give you what you want. I’ll give it to you so good.” He guides himself inside you, stretching your pussy until he bottoms out. “Fuck,” he drawls, nestling in comfortably. “So fucking hot.”

You drape your arms over his shoulders, holding him limply, already spent from your previous orgasms, still so horny for him. He fucks you, legs coiled around his torso, gripping your waist, dragging your body towards him with each thrust. Saliva dribbles out the sides of your mouth, eyes half-closed in a dumb expression, blissfully fucked. He takes pleasure in seeing you unravel like this, clutching you tighter, increasing the pace. “Oh fuck, you’re amazing.” He holds you close, bucking his hips frantically, staring wildly at you beneath him. “I knew it the moment we met, then tonight at the concert. Knew you were special.”

You whimper his name, squeezing him tighter. “Reiner, right there, right there!”

“Yeah? Feels good?” he purrs, circling your clit with his thumb. “Then come on my cock, baby. Show me how much you love it.” He presses his groin to your pussy, burying himself deep inside you, ceasing his thrusts to focus on your approaching orgasm. Frothy spit drips from his mouth directly onto your bud, smearing it with his fingers. You convulse around him, ecstasy coursing through your body, electrifying every nerve all the way down to your toes. His name pours out of you in moans, skin sweltering against the sheets, dewy with sweat. You’re a sticky mess for him, overstimulated from your three consecutive orgasms. And yet, you’re desperate for more.

“Don’t stop,” you whine, reaching out to him weakly. “You’re amazing, Reiner.”

He takes your hand, holding it to his lips, kissing your fingertips lightly. “You take it so good. My beautiful, gorgeous girl.”

You orgasm twice more in this position until he’s nearing his own. His jaw is clenched, brows furrowed tight, ready to lose it. “Tell me where you want it.”

You blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “On me. Come on me, Rei. All over my clit and pussy.”

He groans, pulling out quickly to snap the condom off, pumping his cock in his fist. Within seconds, he’s nutting on you, shooting his seed onto your bud, watching it trickle down to your sopping cunt. “Fuck,” he moans, dick rigid in his grasp. He taps the tip on your drenched clit, relishing the lewd squelch it makes. “So fucking creamy for me.” There’s a wicked glint in his eyes, fixated on how his cum glazes your loins, and excitement bubbles in your core again, realizing that he has no intention of ending it here.

“Like what you see?” you goad him, dipping your fingers in his mess, stuffing it into your cunt. “I told you not to stop, didn’t I? So what are you waiting for?”

He leans over you, kissing you passionately, grinding his dick between your pussy lips. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ve got all the time in the world now.”

#reiner braun #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun smut #reiner braun x you #reiner braun x y/n #reiner x reader #reiner smut #reiner x you #reiner x y/n #aot reiner #aot smut #attack on titan smut #y2k karaoke party #milestone event

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bloodynereid · 7 months

Text

Forgotten Snows

pairing: cate dunlap x fem! reader

tw: mentions of andre, running away, swearing, kissing... that's literally it probably wow

description: cate decides to run away from her supe life, only to find a welcoming new home and maybe something more?

a/n: this low-key feels very rom-com-like lol. also sry for not getting to requests, this idea got stuck in my head and would not leaveee so i obv had to write it. hope you enjoy and lmk ur thoughts <3 ALSO WE NEED MORE CATE FICS PLS

Cate quickly readjusted her gloves and blew a few strands of blonde hair out of her face. The strong ocean wind beat relentlessly against her exposed cheeks and she cuddled closer into her thick white knit sweater. The cold of the metal railing bit into her arms, making Cate smile. She actually did it. She finally left.

After exposing The Woods and God U for what it was, Cate had made the executive decision to run away. She had caused so much hurt even when all she ever wanted to do was help people. The only person she told was Jordan. Her best friend who had clearly understood what she needed to do. Cate didn’t even tell Andre, fearing that he would somehow convince her to stay.

She didn’t know if she even loved him all that much anymore. Sure, she will always hold him dear to her heart but after everything… So she had scrounged up all the money she had been saving up, somehow coming up with a substantial amount to allow her to buy a little house in a remote island of Canada. It was located near the waterfront (only a 20 minute walk!) and overall the population of the island was about 200 people. Perfect.

Cate had even managed to find a job. Granted it didn’t pay as much as she would have been paid if she became a career supe but it would let her live comfortably for as long as she wanted. The job consisted of being a book editor for a random little online publishing house, which meant she could work remotely and totally online.

The remainder of her money was spent purchasing charter plane and ship tickets as well as a new, much warmer, wardrobe. She was basically moving into the Arctic Circle, which meant that her usual cardigans and shirts weren’t going to cut it.

Snow crunched under her sturdy boots as Cate hauled up her heavy suitcase along the gravel paths. A few hours ago she had finally arrived in the port of the island that she would now call home. Somehow she had been able to catch a car that was making its way in the general direction of her new house. Unfortunately for her, that same car dropped her off quite a few kilometers from her destination, but she couldn’t blame the elderly couple who looked like they were eager to finally get home.

Her supe stamina was the only thing that seemed to sustain her as she traveled the paths, constantly looking down at the map she had downloaded into her photos. Cate knew that her Google Maps probably would not work at all until she got closer to her new house. She didn’t expect there to be any signal on this island, except near specific houses or the three tiny towns.

The sun was starting to set by the time she had arrived at the path leading directly to her door. The lights inside the house were off but the porch light was on and smoke was coming out from the chimney. Furrowing her eyebrows, Cate turned to look at the house that sat a few paces away from her own and was surprised to see that a woman, about her age, was shoveling snow.

The woman had her headphones in but the gentle hum of her voice echoed through the expanse. She must be her new neighbor.

Cate smiled slightly before starting up her trek again. Finally seeing her destination had given the tired blonde a boost of energy. The clear path leading to her porch allowed Cate to pull her suitcase up more easily and after depositing it next to the door, she turned to look at the woman. Gravel poked into the soles of her boots as Cate made her way to her. Picking up a gloved hand she lightly tapped the woman’s right shoulder.

Soft folk music echoed through your old headphones. Shoveling snow was monotonous but necessary work. Especially with the newest addition to the island coming today. Cate Dunlap. Unfortunately estate agents weren’t really a thing on an island that sat in the midst of the Arctic Circle. So you had been the one to list everything online and figure a way to sift through all possible applications, which ended up being pretty scarce.

The second home, which your parents used to use as a guest house/office, had been listed for almost a year now. The only three applications you had gotten were from people who either seemed like escaped convicts or generally creepy men. Something that would not do if you were going to be living a few seconds away from them. But then a month ago a saving grace of an application arrived in your email.

Cate Dunlap, 21, single and was willing to move in as soon as possible. The letter that was attached as well as the recommendation made the decision for you. So here you were, after prepping everything inside the house - making sure it was warm enough and stocked up for the week, waiting for Cate to arrive.

What you didn’t seem to realize was that your old headphones were still pretty soundproof. The feeling of a hand against your thick work coat made a loud shriek come out of your mouth before you swiveled around, clutching your chest with one hand and pulling your headphones down with the other.

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry. I thought you-” Oh my God. Cate Dunlap was stunning. Her blonde hair was tucked under a black beanie and a white fisherman’s sweater peaked out from under her thick sage green coat.

“No, no I should be the one apologizing. I was literally expecting you, we just don’t get a bunch of people around here like… ever.”

“You were the one who did all this?” Cate asked as she gestured towards the house.

“Yup, I also stocked up food for like the next week or so.” Her mouth dropped in an incredulous expression.

“You really did not have to do that.”

“Of course I did! I sold you the house plus you deserve a warm-ish welcome to our wonderful little island.” You both let out a small chuckle and Cate continues to brilliantly smile at you.

“Wait, you were the seller? I didn’t realize that you would-”

“Also be living here? Yeah. Your new house was actually part of my family’s property since we built these two places. I’m just living here alone now, and I really don’t need all that space. So…”

“Woah, that’s so cool. It’s nice to actually have a local to help though, I haven’t lived in a place like this well ever.”

“I’ll be here if you ever need anything, and by anything I mean anything. Here, why don’t we get your stuff inside and I can get some tea ready?” You asked as you started to put your shovel away.

“Oh God yes, that sounds incredible right now.”

You pulled out a series of keys from your jacket pocket and swiftly got Cate’s house key out from the bunch. After giving the door a few firm pushes it flew open and the warm air started whooshing out.

“Here quickly, we don’t want the house to get cold.” You both laughed and Cate pushed her suitcase through the threshold. You pushed the door closed behind her and turned towards the blonde who was spinning around and marvelling at the surroundings.

Cate was completely taken aback by the house, she didn’t expect it to be so home-like already. Movie posters lined the entry of the house, stuff she had actually watched. The floor was hard-wood, which looked insanely expensive. Pulling her suitcase behind her, Cate took peeks at the different rooms that filled the house.

There was a living room which was covered in books, a desk and had stunning paintings covering the remaining walls, this was also where the fireplace was set. A bathroom with a full bath and shower, completely covered in what looked like hand painted tiles. The kitchen was similarly decorated but this time with bright blue tiles and had full appliances plus a huge pantry. Finally there was a bedroom at the end of the house, it was simple and much less decorated but looked cosy. The bed was covered in a variety of furs and there was an antique closet and vanity set. A space heater was also placed on one side of the room.

“So what do you think?” Came a questioning call from the threshold of the bedroom, spinning around she was met with the slightly nervous expression of her neighbor, even if her eyes shined with kindness.

“Oh my God it’s fucking incredible. Did you decorate it all by yourself? I didn’t even realize- wait, I’m so sorry. This was so rude of me but I never asked your name.”

“I’m Y/N L/N, at your service.” Y/N said as she gave Cate a mock bow, making both of them laugh. “And yup I had some extra time after my parents died and well renovating was a great distraction.” You added in a slightly more somber tone, with a wistful look in your eyes.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” Cate started to say as a sad look appeared in her eyes.

“No, don't be sorry. I- they both had cancer, which fucking sucks but I continue to do their work. I miss them you know? They didn’t deserve to leave the world so soon.”

“My parents are both absolute assholes but I understand where you’re coming from. My uh boyfriend… also died, he killed himself”

“Shit, that fucking sucks. I’m so sorry. Ok well let’s get some joy back in here. This is turning into a deeply angsty moment when we should be celebrating you coming here… so why don’t go unpack and I’ll get some tea on.”

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. Now shoo before I make you.” Cate shuddered slightly in pleasure as Y/N turned around and made her way to the kitchen. God, she thought you were absolutely drop dead gorgeous. How the hell was she going to be able to function with you looking like that?

The next few weeks were spent in pure bliss for you and Cate. You spent nights at each other’s houses, binging movies on respective laptops or just curling up on the couch reading books. Life had slowed down a bit more for you than Cate job-wise because summer season was coming to an end. That meant shorter days, less tourists and much colder nights.

“So you never actually told me what you do?” Cate had asked one night as you were tucked under the array of furs on your bed as wind and snow howled outside the window.

“Oh I’m a conservationist mostly but I also work at the National Park, giving tours and making sure the habitats of the animals are undisturbed. Other than that I also write a bit.”

“Ooo what do you write, I could get you a deal with my company.” Cate said as she twirled around in the bed to look at you as you threw your head back and a ringing laugh filled the room.

“I don’t think so. My stuff is absolute shit. It’s mostly short stories.”

“Oh come on, it’s not.” Cate said as she softly smacked your shoulder. “And you have to show me one of your short stories sometime.”

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

“No way.” That little playful argument was concluded when Cate pounced on you and started tickling you.

The first time that your relationship was tested (and very much strengthened) was on a random Tuesday. You had somehow managed to rope Cate into helping you with fixing up your little snowmobile. You sighed loudly and threw down the tools before moving your oil covered hands to smooth over your face, which was definitely a mistake. Now instead of just being frustrated you were also covered in engine oil.

“Shit, that looks…” You sent Cate a glare which had her raising her arms in defeat but still letting a small snicker out of her mouth. “Sorry! What exactly do you need help with?”

“There’s a damn bolt I can’t reach, I swear I need to get some kind of stand for this thing-” You cut yourself off as you watched Cate easily pick up the vehicle and turn to look at you. That was when she realized what she had just done.

“Okay, okay, so before you freak out-”

“How the fuck did you do that? Wait, are you one of those superheroes?” You asked quickly, it felt like the words were just flying right out of your mouth.

“I- uh fuck, yeah I am. Look, if you want to stop being my friend I’m totally fine with that. I’ll even move out-” Cate started to stutter out, panic encased her features making your face soften.

“Woah, woah, woah. Catey I think you’re fucking great. Who cares if you have a little extra something that most normal people don’t. Actually I think it’s pretty fucking cool okay? Don’t you dare leave.” You exclaimed with a passionate tone in your voice as you stepped closer and closer to Cate. You grabbed her hands and looked deeply into her eyes.

“I- I don’t want to leave either.”

“You bet your ass you don’t.” Cate let out a snort and smiled brightly at you. There was something in her eyes that made you take the next move. A move that you had been wanting to make ever since you first saw her.

Carefully moving your face towards hers, you watched to see if Cate was going to pull away, but she didn’t. No, instead she surged forward and grabbed your face with her soft gloves, kissing the very soul out of you.

It didn’t feel exactly like fireworks, it was so much better. It felt almost like experiencing the Northern Lights. An array of beautiful colors and sensations flew behind your closed eyes. It also felt like all your nights cuddled up in bed, sharing a hot chocolate that would sear your tongues with each sip. Cate felt like home.

whooo that was fun to write. i love her sm - anyways hope you all enjoyed it !!! if there are any inaccuracies, i literally tried to do a bunch of random research but i probably missed some stuff sry so just lmk.

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sleepingdeath-light · 1 year

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TOH WITH A IMMORTAL READER!

Okay so this wasn’t a specific request or anything so I’m just going to answer here with how I think each character would cope with having an immortal significant other. This got very long as I included basically everyone that’s on my masterlist… oops!

Also, to reiterate, these are just my thoughts so they’re very biased towards how I interpret the characters — and your relationship with the characters can be romantic or queer-platonic or similar depending on your preference!

Thoughts below the cut!

Adrian Graye-Vernworth

doesn’t even remotely believe you at first and will probably assume you’re joking. but once he does recognise your honesty then he’ll probably have something of a breakdown for a while and step back from your relationship — equal parts jealous of the life you’ve lived and horrified at the idea of just being a blip on the radar of your infinite life. it’s 50/50 whether this is a dealbreaker for him and he’ll either slowly inch back into your relationship or just break up with you because of the stress.

Alador Blight

alador is mostly neutral to your immortality when it comes to your relationship. like he’ll call on you for a second opinion when he’s working on something and will draw on your experience to further help his fellow witches — but he doesn’t really think about it any beyond that. though he does sometimes worry about you and how you’ll cope when he’s gone (because he knows that losing you would break him).

Amity Blight

when you tell her it’s quite the shock to the system and she doesn’t really know what to say or how to react. she’ll freeze up and you can see her thinking as she considers her response before she finally squeezes your hands and thanks you for telling her. she’d want to stay with you and wouldn’t want to break up, but she’d definitely have a few crises over the fact that you’ve lived so long before her and you will live so long after — but she also finds a small bit of comfort in the idea that she’ll never have to live without you.

Belos / Philip Wittebane

he’s been alive for far longer than he ever should have been because of his mission, so the idea of immortal entities isn’t difficult for him to believe. so upon finding out about your condition, he’s amazed but not necessarily startled by it — asking you about your origins and if there are more beings like you out there. if he truly cares about you, he’ll stick by you for as long as he’s able to keep his form stable — but if he doesn’t then he’ll just use you to find a way to complete his goal and lengthen his life further.

Boscha

boscha is someone else who wouldn’t believe you when you told her — going from genuine disbelief to shaky doubt to outright terrified denial and then through the stages of grief as she comes to terms with your condition. as sad as it sounds, this would probably end up being a deal breaker and would end your relationship as she would struggle too much with your past and future to be with you beyond that.

Camila Noceda

she doesn’t believe you at first, thinking that you’re just older than her as she’s seen some strange things but immortality is just so far beyond that. it takes her some time to come to terms with this but you do end up bonding over the losses you’ve experienced throughout your lives — you, your various lovers and friends, and her, luz’s father. she insists on learning your native language and teaching you hers so that you have an experience to remember her by.

Collector

having an immortal significant other would be the best case scenario for collector given his own life span. they wouldn’t have to worry about losing you prematurely and you’d be able to understand the issues he’s faced throughout their long life — whilst also having all the time in the world to grow with him and together as a couple. so they would be hopeful to have a spouse with this trait.

Darius Deamonne

this wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for darius but he would have a serious, long conversation about where you both stand and how your experiences would impact your relationship. he wouldn’t necessarily ask about your past relationships but he would be curious about older ages of magic on the isles and how other realms function — and especially how that can help the rebellion against belos.

Eberwolf

they’re pretty chill about the whole thing, honestly — like it rarely ever comes up in conversation so there’s no real impact on your relationship. you two just continue vibing together and spending the time you have wisely (by having fun) without the stresses such a realisation often bring. really they’re the best person you could have told — they only bring it up once or maybe twice and it’s only to make fun of you (lovingly, of course).

Eda Clawthorne

your immortality means that you have more knowledge of the world before belos and, thus, wild magic and magic as a whole. this means that eda will be looking to you to learn more about the owl beast, the history of those like her and if you ever came to know others with similar curses. she’d also insist on you teaching her about the people you loved and she’ll happily talk about raine (she’s far from the jealous type, but she is something of a gossip). she doesn’t care about making scrapbooks or taking pictures and prefers living in the moment with you and your family — living in the ‘doing’ world rather than focusing on capturing every little thing. you’ll look back on this with king and fleetingly wish you had more pictures, but the memory of her laugh and smile is tangible enough that neither of you feel like you’re missing out on too much.

Edric Blight

he will probably have something of an existential crisis about his own mortality when you tell him and would insist on finding a way to make himself live as long as you do. he starts comparing himself to the people you loved and lost and you’ll end up having to talk him into getting some help for it. your relationship will be permanently changed by this, but you will grow and heal with time — it’s just such a shock for him that he takes a bit of a mental health wobble whilst he comes to terms with it.

Emira Blight

em tends to bottle up her feelings a lot and will initially come off as very accepting and calm about the whole thing — but make no mistake this poor woman is one mislabelled jar of seasoning away from a breakdown. she’s now very aware of her own mortality and that she’s one of the probably dozens you’ve loved and lost and she’s absolutely terrified of being forgotten and lost to the sands of time. she’ll insist on keeping thorough, reliable records of your time together and by the time she’s old and you’re young you’ll be spending your last days together looking over them and laughing and crying and holding each other — finally ready to say goodbye.

Gus Porter

he will bombard you with questions about your life nonstop. did you ever live in the human realm? how has it changed? how has the boiling isles changed? there’s so much he wants to know and he has all the time in the world to listen to you talk — and he will note down everything you say and look at you with complete interest. so yeah he’ll still love you just as much as before, he’s just very nosy and eager to learn.

Hunter Wittebane

hunter is someone that would likely have a few hang-ups regarding true- and pseudo- immortality given his status as a clone/grimwalker. he’d have to do a lot of thinking regarding your relationship once he found out and a lot of serious conversations would be had about his natural lifespan compared to yours. in the end you would stay together and he’d be with you for a significant period of it (a few hundred years given him being similar to palismen) with him insisting that you don’t bring him back once he’s gone.

Lilith Clawthorne

she’d be absolutely entranced by your condition and would start fangirling over everything you must have experienced. you’ll end up getting interviewed and documented in every way possible as she asks about your history in and beyond the isles. though she might spend a bit more time on the deadwardian period than anything else (she’s biased, okay!).

Luz Noceda

luz would be amazed with you and would be eager to learn your story — as well as just about everything about you. she wants to learn your native language and hear about the cultures and people you knew throughout the years, especially if it involves some form of magic. she does, however, insist on making lots of memories with you and recording them so you never forget her.

Mattholomule

another one that doesn’t believe you but in mattholomule’s case he never ends up believing you. in his mind you’re just making a weird joke and there comes a point where you just stop trying to correct him and just live your life out with him — watching him grow old and grey whilst you remain the same. it’s on his death bed when he finally realises, but the life you shared was full of laughter and love so neither of you find it in yourselves to complain.

Odalia Blight

she is the type to use your status to her advantage which means that your relationship dynamic would inevitably shift. like she’d still care about you and be as affectionate as before, but she insists on showing you off and presenting herself as the wife of an immortal being in order to put herself above her fellow witches. you can tell her to knock it off. it will not work.

Raine Whispers

raine is heartbroken for you when they realise just how much you’ve lost throughout your life and they insist on memorialising your lost loved ones however they can. they help you write ballads for deceased lovers and learn to play songs from your home (even if their pronunciation is very shaky) because they care so deeply about you. they don’t talk about their concerns often, but they do ask that you remember them — and they leave you plenty of songs behind to do so.

Steve

as he’s quite possibly the most chilled out person in the boiling isles, steve doesn’t really care about the fact that you’re immortal. like when you tell him he’ll ask you a few questions about yourself and your past, but otherwise your relationship will stay the same and he’ll keep on keeping on. might expect the occasional cool story from your past, though, when you’ve both been drinking some apple blood.

Terra Snapdragon

she will most likely treat this as an opportunity to gain more power through your relationship. like she does care for you as you are her spouse at the end of the day, but she’s also incredibly power-hungry and having a partner who is immortal and has more experience than basically every other living entity is the ideal opportunity for her to get what she wants. so she definitely wouldn’t leave you, but the dynamic between the two of you would definitely change.

Viney

this wouldn’t be the end of your relationship but it would change a lot. viney insists on the two of you continuing to live in the moment together, focusing on making lasting memories doing things that you both love so that you never forget her. that means frequent fun dates, time spent teaching as a team, helping everyone you can and just spending time together doing what you love and having as much fun as you can whilst doing so.

Willow Park

willow is shocked by the revelation of your immortality but she doesn’t make too much of a big deal of it. like she will sit down with you and discuss anything you want to talk about, but generally your relationship remains unchanged. the only change is that she starts writing letters for you and hiding them — wanting to leave something behind for you once she’s gone.

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watchmegetobsessed · 2 years

Text

OUR PAST SELF

A/N: its been foereverrrr since i last wrote for my fac family and im also celebrating 13k followers! im so thankful for all of you, i hope to bring you many more stories!!

PAIRING: husband!dad!Harry X Reader

SUMMARY: Reminiscing about what your past self would say if they saw you married with four kids.

WORD COUNT: 985

MORE FROM THE ANOTHER ONE UNIVERSE | SUPPORT ME!

“Babe!”

“What?”

“You have to see this! Come down!”

For a split second you consider ignoring your husband’s request that came from downstairs. You literally just settled down on the bed, opening your book you haven’t gotten to read all week. Chores are done, the twins are at Anne’s and Ellie peacefully playing in her room. You were supposed to have twenty minutes to yourself, maybe thirty if you’re lucky, but now it seems like you’ll have zero.

But then you think of the excitement you heard in Harry’s voice and you know you won’t be able to just sit and not think about what he got so worked up about.

“Coming!” you call out, placing the book back onto the nightstand where it will probably remain untouched for a couple more days.

Walking down the stairs you hear Harry’s song Satellite playing in the living room and it has you wondering what he is about to show you. But as you come around the corner the music cuts off and you find him with Leo in his arms. That little rascal is all smiles, showing all of his total of four teeth. He is the most adorable tiny gentleman with his curls and extra chubby cheeks. All your kids had cheeks that screamed to be pinched and kissed, but it seems like Leo got more of that gene.

“What’s going on here?” you ask, a smile already tugging on your lips.

“Come on, sit down. You need to see what Leo just learned!” Harry gestures towards the couch and you make yourself comfortable, watching him set the toddler down in the middle of the room. The coffee table has been pushed to the side, giving enough room to have a little dance party.

Leo watches his daddy with bright eyes as he grabs the TV remote and he starts the music again. Satellite starts playing and Leo giggles in excitement. Harry sits beside you, watching him proudly as he takes your hand in his, giving it a squeeze.

“Look, watch him now!” he points at Leo.

The song comes to the part where Harry usually does his iconic arm thrusts, the one that makes all his fans go crazy, because it gives an amazing view of his toned arms. But this time he is not the one dancing, instead, Leo is wiggling his arms that distantly resembles what Harry usually does on stage. It’s absolutely, ridiculously, whole-heartedly adorable, adding his giggles and how he bounces, your heart is bursting in your chest.

“Oh my God!” you squeak, grabbing Harry’s bicep as you lean into him, watching your son dance around to his daddy’s music.

“It’s so freaking cute, right?” Harry enthuses. Jumping to his feet he sweeps Leo back into his arms and starts dancing around, making him laugh even louder and there’s nothing sweeter than a baby’s laugh.

You watch them finish their performance and then they join you on the couch, Leo climbing over to you, settling on your lap. You brush his hair out of his forehead and kiss the crown of his head.

“Can you believe he’ll be one year old next month?” you sigh, snuggling to Harry’s side.

“Crazy, huh?”

“Mind-blowing,” you admit with a chuckle.

“You remember how it went when I told you I wanted another one?” he grins, poking Leo’s tummy playfully.

“Hey, you said you wouldn’t hold it against me!” you protest.

“I’m not, it’s just sweet how hesitant you were and now…”

“Now I couldn’t even imagine life without him,” you finish his thought, kissing Leo’s cheek.

“We’ve made some really awesome babies, huh?” he smirks, clearly so full of himself.

“Well, I did most of the work,” you purse your lips at him, not letting his head grow any bigger.

“You did,” he nods, smiling. “My awesome wife gave birth to four babies. That’s still so insane.”

“Crazy,” you hum, squeezing Leo to your chest gently. “What do you think our younger self would say if they saw us?”

“Like how young?”

“I don’t know. Maybe fourteen. What would fourteen years old Harry say if you told him you have a wife and four kids?”

“He would highfive me, because it means I’ve had sex at least four times,” he answers without missing a beat and you smack his chest as his laugh rumbles through it.

“You’re such a pig!” you tell him off, but then add: “And it’s just three times, because we have twins.”

“Damn, you’re right,” he chuckles. “But jokes aside… He would be shocked and… relieved.”

“Relieved?” you raise your eyebrows.

“I was afraid I might end up alone when I was younger,” he shrugs. “Marriage felt so distant and unattainable. But then came you,” he adds smiling and leaning closer he steals a quick kiss. “What about you?”

“She would be over the moon if she saw how hot my husband is,” you grin at him. “And she would probably ask what it looks like down there after four kids.”

Harry’s laugh roars through the room and Leo starts laughing too.

“I can assure her that you look stunning down there.”

“Oh shut up,” you poke your elbow into his side.

“What? I love your pu–”

“I swear to God if you say that word in front of our son, I’m divorcing you,” you warn him, but can’t stay serious when you look at his toothy grin.

“Oh, you wouldn’t leave the man who gave you the cutest babies,” he scoops Leo from your lap and walks back to the middle of the room. “Come on, Buddy. Let’s give mum a show,”

He turns the music back on and you watch them dance around and you could stay like this forever. You’re so loved and you have even more love to give to your family.

Yeah, your past self would be proud of you if she saw you.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #dadrry #dad!harry #the another one universe

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thesapphireprincess · 10 months

Text

Software Engineer 👩🏾‍💻

I recently learned that you can become a Software engineer without a degree. I found a free Introduction to software engineering course on YouTube. It was created by a computer science professor and he goes over everything that a beginner needs to know and what is learned in a full semester. I also found these free Harvard courses and after you complete them you can purchase a verified certificate. The certificate will look so good an a resume and it will show that you know the material.

💌 Being a Software Engineer isn’t the only option for a high paying job without a degree. This is just the one I am choosing.

There are so many resources online but after this I will most likely enroll into a software engineering boot camp since this is what most people do. I found that there are a lot of software engineers who do not have a degree but are still making a ton of money because the work is so valuable. I learned that you can get almost any 6 figure high paying job without a degree except in the medical field. This job will not be replaced by AI which is a relief.

The starting salary for an entry level position is around 70-80k in the United States as of June 2023. Even 60k would be great but there are people making 100-250k a year as a software engineer. The people who work at the big companies make even more than that.

This is a great way to set up your financial future. Imagine being able to save $1000-$2000 a month. Imagine where you’ll be at in 10 years. You can even use this as a starting base to set your life up financially. You’ll be able to afford to live anywhere in the world especially if you get a remote job. Places like San Diego, New York, London or Hawaii. You can afford the cost of living. You can afford to live in any of the major cities and have a really comfortable life. You will have lots of money that you’ll be able to multiply. You’ll actually be able to save up for a house and have actual money to invest. So many opportunities will be available to you. You can live below your means in the best way possible.

Personally I’ve always wanted to live by the beach in a city. By this time next year I’ll be living in a new city with a great high paying job. My current job will look amazing on my resume because I work side by side with engineers and technicians on a daily basis at a reputable company so I can totally jazz up my resume to sound really good. Which totally counts as ✨experience✨. I’ve been working here for a couple of years now which will look even better because it shows longevity.

I definitely plan on moving to San Diego or Hawaii next year when my lease is up. I will update y’all in a week on my progress.

#level up #self improvement #software engineering

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writemywaytoyourheart · 2 years

Text

Aim For The Heart | FINAL Chapter 35: Agapanthus

Pairing: hitman!jungkook x female reader

Genre: romance, drama, angst

WC: 20k

Warnings for this chapter: strong language, amnesia, panic attacks, mentions of past betrayal, pining, heartbreak, mentions of unhealthy coping, lots of tears, ANGST, brief mention of blood, anxiety, lots of feels okay.

Here we go babies...

summary; Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn’t sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn’t his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger.

One year and five months later...

"Are y-you guys ready for s-s-summer??"

The class of tiny humans erupts into cheers, melting your heart.

They gather their backpacks and form a line, laughing and talking with their classmates. Then you lead them out of the room and down the hall towards the front.

Like always, you wave to each and every child until the last one is picked up, then you turn and head back inside to clean up your room and make sure you don't leave anything over the summer.

After submitting the last of the paperwork, you hear your phone ringing.

"Hello?"

"Heyyy, you ready to party??"

You laugh at Jimin's excitement, "M-More than ready!"

"Good, because I'm parked out front."

You giggle and grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder, "Coming!"

Then you hang up and head for the door, leaving it unlocked so the custodian can come in and clean while you're not here.

You glance down the hall where Mr. Baek's classroom used to be.

It's been so nice teaching without him breathing down your neck and insulting you every chance he gets.

One of the other teachers told you that someone had called anonymously the summer before school started the year you were in the hospital and told them he was abusive to staff and quite possibly the children, so after they looked into it and got enough evidence, he was fired.

They had been looking into it when you were in a coma, and months later when you were able to return, he wasn't there.

Whoever it was, you'll be eternally grateful for them calling in.

Stepping out of the front doors and feeling the sun beaming down on your face, you smile.

This summer is going to be the best one yet, you can feel it.

Last summer you still had to be extremely careful because of the coma you had come out of the Christmas before.

This year you're going to do all the things you couldn't.

The honk of a car horn makes you squint in the direction of a red car and smile when you see Jimin leaning out of the front seat and waving, "Come on! We've got dramas to start binging!"

You run clumsily down the steps and to the car, opening the passenger door and climbing in.

"Hi!"

"Hellooo," Jimin sings as he pulls into the street, "Did you have the best last day ever?"

"Mhm!" You jump up and down in your seat, "It w-was awesome."

"Glad to hear it!"

You and Jimin talk about work for both of you today as he drives to your place.

You keep blabbing on and on as you climb the steps and go into your apartment, the familiarity of it bringing you a wave of comfort.

"Mmmmm," You plop down onto the couch and wiggle around excitedly, "I c-can't wait to sleep innnnnnn!"

Jimin laughs and sits next to you, "You can sleep in all you want after we have a good drama binge," he grabs the remote and turns on the TV.

"Wait! L-let me get sn-snacks!" You jump up and run to the kitchen, but you stop abruptly and grab the counter to stop your momentum, "I also n-need to be comfy!"

You turn and scurry to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

A few minutes later, Jimin laughs when you run into the kitchen, a huge t-shirt going down to your knees the only thing you've got on.

A moment after going to the kitchen, you hurry to the living room, taking tiny but quick steps as you clutch two tubs of ice cream under your arms and two huge spoons in your fists.

Jimin reaches out for his ice cream, and you hand it to him before climbing onto the couch and curling up in a blanket, your legs quickly going out of sight.

You dig into the ice cream, "Go ah-head," you say, staring at the TV.

"P-Pumpkiiiiin," you whine, holding your arms out for the cat to come to you.

The orange fluff ball quickly runs over to the couch you're lying on and hops up, curling into your bosom as you smile, petting her fur gently.

"I l-love you, baby," you whisper, scratching under her chin, "You've g-gotten so big."

You're scrolling on your phone and petting Pumpkin when Jimin's face pops up on your screen as it rings.

"H-Hello?" You answer right away.

"Hey, ____."

You frown, "You s-s-sound upset, what's wrong?"

He sighs and gets right to the point, "I got a call from Mina today."

Your heart seizes up in your chest with a horrible pain.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to tell you. But I knew you'd find out eventually and I knew it would be better coming from me."

You gulp, "W-what did she say?"

"Well, they were going to do a retrial for her case."

You say nothing, so he continues.

"The lawyers wanted her to do it, but she refused. They told her they thought they could lessen her sentence if they had more proof that she was mentally unstable at the time."

When Jimin doesn't hear a response, he sighs sadly, "I'm so sorry, ____."

You clear your throat, "It's f-fine, I'm fine."

"Do you want me to come over?" He asks gently.

You shake your head, even though he can't see you, "No, I k-kinda wanna be alone r-right now."

"Alright, will you let me know if you need me?"

"Mhm."

You say goodbye and hang up, then you look at Pumpkin who is staring at you with huge curious green eyes.

You try to smile back at her but end up dropping your head into your hands so that she doesn't see you cry.

She seems to sense it anyway, because she nudges you with her head until she's able to climb into your lap and start nuzzling at your chin.

"Thank y-you, Pumpkin," you cry softly, grabbing her into a hug and holding her against your chest, "I l-love you," you whisper.

After crying quietly for a few minutes, you thought you'd be alright, but your chest is starting to hurt really bad.

You set the cat down and put a hand to your chest, trying to breathe in and out slowly.

The panic attack is already setting in though, making itself at home.

A short sob escapes your lips as you force yourself to keep breathing slowly.

Suddenly, the room feels almost like it's caving in, the walls creeping closer and closer as your breath escapes you.

Before it can get any worse, you jump up from the couch and try to run to your room.

But you had left your bag near the end of the couch, and your foot caught on it in your blind panic, sending you tumbling to the floor.

You keep grabbing at your chest, begging the air to go in so you can breathe.

Knowing there's only one thing that will make it better, you start crawling towards your room, trying not to think about the walls of the hallway closing in on you faster and faster.

Finally making it to the room, you crawl hurriedly over to your bedside table and grab your inhaler, taking a few puffs of it until you can get a shuddering breath in.

Then you open the drawer on the table and reach your hand inside, feeling around for a moment before your eyes widen in horror.

You stand up shakily and look in the drawer.

It isn't there.

Why isn't it there?

Where is it?

You pick up the tiny paper swan from the drawer and place it carefully on your nightstand even as you're panicking. You don't want to lose that too. A sob rips from your chest as you dig around in the drawer frantically, but still come up with nothing.

You run over to your closet and start tearing through the clothes, looking through all of the pockets as you continue to cry your heart out.

When you can't find it anywhere in there, you crumple to the floor and curl your knees in, sobbing hysterically.

A knock on the front door goes unheard by you.

You keep crying loudly until you see Jimin run into your room.

"____! What happened?" He kneels next to you but doesn't touch you.

"M-m-m-my p-p-p-ic-pic-"

He knows exactly what you're talking about.

Before you can even get the words out, he's jumping up and running out of the room. A moment later he comes back in with a tiny piece of folded up paper, "Here it is, ____, here it is," he pushes it into your hand, "It was in your bag, ____. You put it in there earlier, remember?"

You clutch the paper to your chest, the sobs turning to small whimpers as you unfold it and look at the picture drawn there.

"Oh," you say in a tiny voice, "I th-thought I l-l-lost it."

Jimin shakes his head, "You're never going to lose it, okay? It means a lot to you, and you always take care of it. You're never going to lose it."

You nod shakily, keeping your eyes on the pencil drawing.

Jimin gulps and sits down on his bottom.

It's quiet for a bit as the two of you just sit there.

After a little bit, Jimin scoots closer, "May I see?" He asks kindly.

You nod and tilt the picture towards him.

He looks at the little sketch that always calms your anxiety; it's of a tiny dandelion surrounded by a field of bigger dandelions looming over it as the small flower appears to be trying to reach for the sun.

He hums softly, "It's beautiful."

You nod and turn it over to show him the other side, a little black cat curled on a pillow.

"Those drawings are really good," Jimin looks at you, "Where did you get this? I forgot."

You shrug, "I d-don't remember."

He nods sadly, looking at you for another minute in disappointment before he sighs and looks away.

Sometimes he wishes he could just scream it all out loud until it all comes back to you.

It takes a few days for you to get back to your old chipper self, but you eventually do.

Jimin knows the whole Mina thing has been weighing you down for over a year. If he could, he wouldn't tell you anything about it. But you always ask him to fill you in and he doesn't want to lie to you. Besides, someone else will tell you if he doesn't.

It was so much worse because you didn't remember anything about it.

You woke up and asked him about where Mina was when she never came to visit you.

He had to be the one to tell you that your best friend turned herself in for assisting in an attempted murder.

Your murder.

The last thing you remembered was Mina leaving on a business trip. Other than that, you had bits and pieces of memories of Jimin coming back and the two of you growing closer.

Nothing more.

You had no idea that she had wanted you dead.

Jimin worked with you though, for a long time, making sure you got to your therapy appointments and that you would be able to sleep at night.

It took the full year and a half since you woke up to get you where you are now, and he'll be damned if he doesn't make sure you don't go down that hole again.

He's never seen someone as resilient as you, in all his years.

"Hey, d-do you want to g-g-get ice cream?" You ask, looking over at him from behind your giant octopus stuffie.

Jimin chuckles and nods, "Sure, are we taking the giant octopus?"

You make a face at him, "No, and h-his name is C-Cookie!"

"My bad, sorry Cookie."

You make the octopus wave one of its big tentacles at your best friend and respond in a silly voice, "It's ok-kay, I f-forgive you~"

Jimin laughs loudly, "Thanks, I appreciate that."

You set Cookie down on the bed and put the small blanket over him, patting his head gently before leaving with Jimin to go to your favorite ice cream stand.

You're sitting in the grass, eating your ice cream as you watch a few birds fly by.

"Hey, ____?"

You look at Jimin, "Hm?"

He swallows his bite of ice cream before continuing, "You're still into like...art shows and stuff, right?"

You nod, "Oh d-definitely!"

"Awesome."

You look at him curiously, "W-Why do you ask?"

"Oh no reason," he lies on the grass and closes his eyes after setting his ice cream down, "I may or may not have planned a day in Busan for us to go to one of your favorite artist's shows."

You put your ice cream down and crawl over to him, shaking him a little, "This isn't a j-joke, right? Th-this is real, right? Is it K-Kim Junsoo?"

Jimin keeps his eyes closed but he nods, a small smile on his face.

Jumping up from the ground, you squeal in excitement, "No w-way!!! Jimin, I l-love you!!"

He laughs as he watches you spin around, not able to contain your joy, "Well, I certainly hope you do."

"Oh, w-when is it? When is it, J-Jimin?"

"It's this Friday."

"AHHHHHHHH!" You jump up and down, your sundress bouncing around as you do, "And w-we get to spend th-the whole day in B-Busan??"

He nods, a huge smile plastered on his face.

"I n-never been to Busan!" You squeal in excitement.

Jimin's smile falters for a moment, but he gathers himself before you see.

____________________

The rest of the week flies by as you wait for Friday to finally come.

The night before, you beg Jimin to have a sleepover so you two can plan out tomorrow and talk about it.

"Are you all packed?" Jimin asks with a smile as he sees you putting together your favorite bag with all your essentials for a full day outing.

You nod in satisfaction, your hands on your hips as you look at the bag proudly.

"I'm r-ready!"

"Do you have your little picture?" Jimin makes sure, and you nod.

"Mhm! I put it in th-the pocket of the sk-skirt I'm wearing tomorrow."

"Alright, we'll double check before we leave tomorrow, sound good?"

You nod.

Before bed, the two of you watch some of the drama you're in the middle of, then Jimin sleeps on the couch as you go into your room.

The next morning is a flurry of excitement as you get dressed and brush your hair (after Jimin reminded you to.)

"H-How do I l-look?" You ask, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

Jimin sees that you're wearing a short black skirt and a huge yellow and white striped shirt with a cute strawberry near your heart. The shirt is so large it goes down far enough so that only a small bit of the skirt can be seen.

"Cute!" He assures you, giving you a thumbs up, "Definitely artsy."

You giggle and thank him as you pull on your chunky sneakers, "You r-ready?"

"Indeed I am," Jimin hands you your bag when you stand up, "Double check your pocket?"

You put your hand in your pocket and pull out the sketch, then you give him a thumbs up and put it back.

Jimin calls a taxi to take you to the train station, so that he doesn't have to worry about leaving his car in the lot all day.

An hour later, you're sitting on the train, trying to keep yourself still because you're just so excited you can't handle it.

Jimin ends up pulling out his booklet where he writes things down when he's working on an article, "Wanna play tic-tac-toe?"

When the train pulls into Busan, you and Jimin make your way around the station to the front where he waves to a taxi.

"To the convention center please."

The taxi driver takes the two of you there, then promptly leaves.

You run up to the doors of the convention center and you're about to go inside when Jimin calls to you, "____, wait."

Stopping and looking to where Jimin points, you see a flyer on the door talking about the art show.

But it says Sunday.

"Darn it," Jimin mutters, "How could I have messed up the days this bad?"

You shake your head, "It's f-fine! I've done th-that so many times!"

Jimin smiles sadly, "Thanks, but what are we supposed to do now?"

You think for a moment, "Should w-we head home and c-come back?"

Jimin shakes his head, "We shouldn't waste a trip to Busan, we just got here."

He looks around and sighs, trying to think of what you guys might be able to do today to at least make it worthwhile before heading home and waiting for Sunday.

"Do you," he scratches his neck, "Do you just want to spend the weekend here?"

You look at him in surprise and he shrugs, "I just don't think it's worth it to ride the train four times just because I messed up the dates. We might as well make it a weekend getaway, ya know? We can head back on Monday morning."

A smile spreads on your face and you nod, "That s-sounds like f-f-fun! We should!"

He sighs in relief, "Awesome, then let's see if we can find a hotel, shall we?"

The two of you agree that you'll have plenty of time to look around the city on Sunday before the art show, and both of you would rather spend most of the weekend in a more rural area.

After a bit of digging, Jimin finds a small hotel that seems to be out of the way, tucked in a more secluded place. He decides to rent a car so that you won't have to rely on a taxi the whole time.

When you get there, Jimin books two rooms right next to each other and you're led upstairs by a kind old woman that shows you the rooms, then heads back downstairs.

One look around the small room and you're already in love with it; it's so beautiful and homey, and there's a gorgeous view outside your window. You can't imagine why there aren't swarms of people wanting to stay here. Apparently, Jimin found a hidden gem.

After familiarizing yourselves with the hotel, you and Jimin drive to a few local stores to get some clothes for the weekend. A good excuse to get more clothes since you didn't pack anything expecting to stay overnight.

A few hours later, everything is nicely set up for your stay.

But now you're starving.

"I'm starving," Jimin moans, lying on your bed.

You laugh as you fiddle with the piece of paper in your pocket, "M-Me too, you r-read my mind."

"Should we see what we can find to eat around here? There isn't much for miles."

You stand up, "I th-think we co-could find something delicious, let's g-go!"

Jimin was right.

There isn't too much around here, which is probably why not many people come to that hotel, preferring to stay nearby places that they won't need to take a car to.

But after driving for a little while in the car Jimin rented for the weekend, you see a small building up ahead, only a few cars parked at it.

"Is th-that a restaurant?" You ask.

Jimin squints at it, "I think so...? Should we check it out?"

You nod, dying of hunger and not wanting to take the chance of passing by somewhere that has food, "It m-might be another h-h-hidden gem, let's try it."

Jimin parks the car and gets out, you following closely behind him as he climbs the steps and opens the small creaky door. A bell clangs when he opens it.

When he steps inside, he sees small tables around the floor of a big room, cushions around each table. A few people are at different tables, talking and eating. He turns to you, "It's definitely a restaurant."

A very old woman hobbles around the corner at the sound of the bell above the door ringing.

"Ohh, well hello there dears! Just two of you today?"

Jimin nods, "Yes, please."

You follow him as he follows her to a smaller table in a corner of the room, clearly meant for only two people.

You thank her and take a seat on a cushion, Jimin sitting on the cushion across the table from you.

"I'll be back with some water," she says kindly before walking away.

You glance around the room at the people eating and chatting, "It's so c-cozy in here," you say quietly to your best friend, who nods, "I agree, and the food smells freaking heavenly."

Nodding in agreement, you try to sneak a peek at what the table closest to you is eating.

"I w-want what they have," you whisper, trying not to laugh.

Jimin glances over, "I'm up to try anything, that looks phenomenal. I think we might've actually stumbled upon a hidden gem for the second time today!"

You clap your hands quietly, "S-See? If you hadn't m-mixed up the dates, w-we never would've gotten to come here! Everything h-h-happens for a reason!"

The old woman comes back with two glasses and a pitcher of water, setting it on the table, "There you are, de-"

You and Jimin look at her in surprise when she stops mid-sentence and just stares at you.

"A-Are you alright?" You ask gently, and she seems to snap out of it as she nods.

"Yes, sorry..." She looks at Jimin, then back at you, "What can I get for you?"

A few more people come into the restaurant while you wait patiently for your order and you busy yourself with people watching, you and Jimin being nosy as ever.

A young man with bleach blonde hair comes out of the kitchen with a few plates of food and brings it to a table where the people all thank him heartily.

"Thank you, Beomgyu!" One of the younger girls calls, making the young man blush.

You turn and giggle with Jimin about how she must have a crush on him, then someone is setting a few dishes on your table.

You look up to see a girl with long light brown hair smiling as she gives you the food.

"Oh, thank you!" Jimin helps make sure the water is moved so there's room for the plates to go.

"My pleasure, is there anything else I can get for you two while I'm here?"

You both shake your heads, "No, th-thank you!"

She bows, "Oh, and there's one more side dish that will be out in just a minute."

"I need you to bring this side dish to the small table in the corner," The waitress hands it to the young man that just finished drying his hands after washing what felt like hundreds of dishes.

"Why me? Why not him?" He jerks his thumb towards the tall dark-haired man bent over several dishes as he tries his best to make them look pretty.

"He's busy," she laughs, "And I have more tables to attend, the rush is starting."

He sighs and shakes his head, "Fine."

Maneuvering around her, he makes his way out of the small kitchen as he grips the side dish, being sure not to run into Beomgyu or halmeoni as they make their rounds.

He glances around the room before his eyes land on the small table in the corner.

And the two people sitting there.

Freezing in the middle of the room, he feels his heart shoot to his throat.

You laugh at something Jimin said, your whole body reacting as you clap your hands and start coughing.

Jimin shakes his head and scolds you about being careful not to choke.

Before either of them can look up, he turns and bolts back to the kitchen.

"Jungkook, why didn't you give them the side dish?" She sighs and takes it from him, "Here, I'll do it."

Taehyung looks up to see his best friend standing there, completely frozen in shock.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

When he doesn't get an answer, he walks over and touches his shoulder, "Kook? You in there?"

Jungkook's whole body quivers slightly as he stares at the sink that has a few dishes in it.

Then he turns and goes into the backroom.

Taehyung frowns, then grabs the waitress gently when she comes back in, "Yeona, what happened?"

She shrugs, "I'm not sure, I just asked him to bring a table a side dish and he came back with it and looked all freaked out."

Tae's brows furrow, "What table was it?"

"The small one in the corner."

Taehyung nods, "Alright, keep working. I'll take care of this," he pats her gently on the hip before leaving the kitchen.

When he steps into the eating area, he sees you immediately, sitting there and talking to Jimin with a huge smile.

"Oh, fucking hell."

Tae barges into the backroom to see Jungkook curled up in the corner, his knees to his chest as he tries to breathe, his chest rising and falling sporadically.

"Jungkook."

"I- I think I'm h-hallucinating, hyung," Jungkook chokes out, his eyes brimming with tears, "I sw-swear I didn't dr-drink-"

Taehyung crouches next to him and puts a gentle hand on his knee, but the younger one still doesn't look at him.

"I-" Jungkook chokes out a pained laugh, "I thought I saw her."

He presses a hand to his mouth to stop the sob that's threatening to come out, his eyes squeezing shut as a few tears fall.

"Jungkook-"

"She was right there," Jungkook whispers hoarsely, "Sh-she was more vivid than she's ever been. I- I know I see her sometimes b-but not like that. Not that clear."

Tae nods, "I know."

Jungkook points a shaky finger towards the door, "Please go l-look at the small table in the c-corner, and tell me she isn't there."

Tae looks down.

"I can't do that, Jungkook."

Jungkook covers his face with his hands, his entire body starting to shake more than it already was.

"Don't- don't say that."

"Kook-"

He shakes his head, his dark hair swinging gently, "I don't want you to say anything."

"I know," Tae sighs, "Just let me figure out what's going on-"

"Nothing's going on," Jungkook snaps, "Nothing. It isn't her, both of us just didn't sleep last night. It's someone that looks like her, that's all. I have stuff to do."

The elder sighs when Jungkook stands up harshly and wipes his eyes before leaving the backroom.

"This food is literally so good," Jimin moans, stuffing another bite into his mouth and pretending to cry.

You nod, "M-My favorite is the- oh!"

The girl that called to Beomgyu earlier steps back in surprise when she sees what she did.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

You laugh and pick up the cup that she knocked over and onto your clothes, drenching you.

"It's a-alright!" You assure her.

She keeps apologizing but you shake your head and adamantly tell her not to worry about it. Then you tell Jimin you're going to look for a towel to clean up the mess so the servers don't need to worry about it.

Moving through the tables, you make your way to where you saw the staff going in and out.

The kind old woman steps out just as you're coming over, carrying a few plates of food.

"Oh, how can I help you, sweetie? Is there something wrong with the food?"

You shake your head, "No, n-not at all! I was j-just hoping I could g-g-get a towel, I accidentally sp-spilled something."

She laughs gently and nods behind her, "You are more than welcome to go into the kitchen, one of my servers will help you."

You thank her as she continues into the eating area, then you walk over to the kitchen she gestured to.

Walking around the corner, you run right smack into a hard chest and stumble back.

"Oh! I'm s-so sorry!" You bow to the young man you just ran into.

When a moment goes by and he doesn't answer, you look up slowly to see him staring at you, his eyes as big as saucers.

You look down to see that he was holding a bowl of cold noodles, the broth now soaking his shirt as a result of your clumsiness.

"Oh m-my gosh," your hands fly to your mouth, "I'm so sorry, I- I- I didn't mean to-"

You grab a cloth that was hanging on a hook next to you and start trying to mop up the mess on his shirt.

When it proves futile, you glance up to see him gulp, still frozen as he stares at your hands.

"I-" you kneel down and start cleaning up the broth that fell on the floor, "I'm s-such a clutz, I'm sorry."

When you stand up again and see him still staring at you, you start getting fidgety.

Why won't he stop staring at you?

It makes it worse that he's extremely handsome; his dark hair falling into one of his eyes, piercings going up both of his ears, and his huge dark eyes boring into yours.

You clear your throat and look down, forcing yourself not to stare at the tattoos covering one of his arms, his sleeves pushed up to show they go up farther than his elbow.

Then you notice the bracelets on his wrist and your brow furrows before he seems to snap out of it and puts his hand behind his back, hiding the bracelets before you get to look at them for too long.

"I-..."

You take a step back, feeling terrible for ruining his clothes and the food he was bringing to a customer.

Just then, another tall man comes from behind him.

"JK-"

He stops when he sees you.

You feel your bottom lip start to tremble, feeling like a burden now that you've disrupted their work so much after making a mess.

The second young man grabs the shoulder of the one you bumped into and shoves him back into the kitchen, "Go clean yourself up," he says to him lowly before turning back to you.

He smiles at you kindly and you feel tears prick in your eyes for some reason unknown to you.

"Sorry about him, he's out of it today."

You shake your head, "It w-was my fault, I bumped i-into him..."

He takes a step closer, "It isn't your fault. Can I help you with something?"

Eyes falling to the floor, you mumble to him that you needed a towel to clean a mess you made.

The kind young man tells you to go back to your table and he'll get one for you.

A few minutes later, he comes over with a towel and makes quick work of cleaning the water up.

Eyes locked on his wrist, you stare at the purple and blue bracelet there as he wipes up the mess.

You see Jimin's jaw clench and eyes widen when he first sees him, then you see the waiter shake his head a little at your best friend before leaving.

What the heck is going on?

Jimin urges you to finish eating and you do, but you can't help glancing in the direction of the kitchen every once in a while.

You don't see either of the young men with dark hair again, only the old woman, the young woman, and the boy with the bleached hair.

Jimin pays for the meal and ushers you towards the front, not letting you do or say anything else as you make your way out.

But just before you walk out, you turn your head to see the waiter that wiped up your table going back to the kitchen after bringing out some food.

He makes eye contact with you briefly, a sad smile on his face before he disappears around a corner.

_________________________

Pulling into the dirt lot in front of the hotel, Jimin sighs as he parks the car.

"Well, that place was delicious after all."

You stay quiet, staring out the front window.

"What's wrong?" He asks after a minute.

Coming out of your trance, you grab Jimin's wrist and bring it over to yours and hold them next to each other.

The purple and blue bracelet on Jimin's wrist that matches yours is the same one that both of those workers wore.

"W-Why did I m-make this with purple?" Your voice is so quiet he almost doesn't hear you, but he does.

Jimin gulps, "I guess you just liked the color-"

You shake your head, "Your f-favorite color is bl-blue, mine is yellow. W-Why would I make our fr-friendship bracelet with purple and n-not yellow?"

Your eyes move to the yellow and black bracelet on your wrist, your mind flashing back to the worker you bumped into.

Did he have the same one?

That would be impossible, you made this yourself...

Why did you make this for yourself?

Confusion clouds your brain.

No.

The one that cleaned the water definitely had the same purple and blue bracelet on. You're not crazy.

"Those w-workers had the s-same bracelets as us...A-Are you sure I m-made these?" You ask softly.

Jimin clears his throat and pulls his wrist back gently, "I'm not sure, ____. It was over a year ago when you gave it to me, maybe you picked them up somewhere."

You swallow thickly and nod, "You're pr-probably right."

You head inside, saying a quick hello to the old woman at the front desk before making your way to the rooms.

"G-Goodnight, Jimin," you say before going into your room and shutting the door.

Crawling into the bed, you don't even bother changing out of your clothes, you just pull the covers up to your chin and hold the sketch of the little dandelion up to look at before falling asleep.

________________________________________________

"Jungkook..."

Tae's elbows rest on his knees as he looks at his best friend's face.

When he doesn't get a response, he whispers, "I'm sorry. I don't know anything more than you do. I was just as shocked to see her today."

Jungkook just keeps looking out the window, his face void of any emotions.

It's a perfect mask for what's happening on the inside.

But not perfect enough to fool his closest friend.

"Talk to me, Jungkook-"

"I did everything I was told to," Jungkook seethes, "I left because I was told to, I stayed away because I was told to, I tried to live my life because I was told to. For her sake."

Tae swallows thickly when he sees Jungkook's eyes water.

"Why does the universe hate me so fucking much?" Jungkook chokes out, "Why would it put her right in front of me when it knows I'd do anything to be with her?"

"I know it hurts-"

"You know?" Jungkook's gaze turns hard as he looks at Tae, "You know? You don't know anything."

"Kook-"

"No, you don't fucking get it, do you?"

Taehyung shuts his mouth before shaking his head slowly.

"How do you think you know what it's like to see her again? To see her right in front of me, looking at me without a single ounce of recognition?" Jungkook's voice gets caught in his throat, "I tried everything I could to help with the pain since I left because I was told to move on for her sake, but nothing worked. Not a single fucking thing," He gestures out his tattooed arm and Tae knows exactly what he's talking about.

The pain in his heart never ceased, no matter how much physical pain he put himself through to distract his mind and heart, "Because I don't want to fucking move on, I'm selfish and I want what I want. I want her. And then she's in front of me, and this time I'm not just seeing things. And all I can do is stand there like a fucking idiot because if I let my walls down, I wouldn't have been able to control myself."

The elder gulps and looks down.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be," Jungkook looks back out the window, "You've got Yeona, how could you possibly know enough to say sorry?"

Tae's jaw clenches and he stands up, "You're the one that told me to accept Yeona, that told me not to give up on something that I cared about."

Jungkook ignores him, staring at the grass blowing in the summer breeze.

"She was my friend too," Tae says hoarsely, "And I know that doesn't mean fucking shit compared to what she was to you. I'm sorry I was careless with my words just now, okay? I have no fucking idea how much it hurts for you right now. I don't know how to help you."

Jungkook gulps, but still doesn't look at him.

"Don't shut me out, okay? I only ever wanted the best for both of you."

The younger just blinks, not acknowledging that he heard him.

"Jungkook-"

"Just leave me alone."

Tae bites his tongue before he can say anything else, then he leaves, the door shutting behind him.

Jungkook finally looks away from the window, his hand slipping into the pocket of his lucky jacket and pulling out a torn and bloodied letter along with a few band-aids.

The memory of you giving him the band-aids when he helped you clean your classroom the first time comes flooding into his brain.

“I i-insist. I have p-plenty, and you n-never know when y-you’ll need a b-bandage.”

He gulps.

The bleeding ache in his heart is going to need a hell of a lot more than a band-aid.

A few tears slip down his cheeks before he wipes them away and looks at the letter from you that Dae tore to pieces.

He can only make out some of the words, but he read it so many times before the incident that it's burned into his brain anyway.

"Fuck," Jungkook wipes at his eyes in frustration.

It was a freak coincidence.

He's never going to see you again after today.

For your sake, he needs to pull himself together.

For your sake he needs to bottle it up to make sure you live the life you always deserved, the reason he left anyway.

For your sake.

“P-Promise me, y-you won’t fall in love w-with me.”

Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat as he messes with the bracelets on his wrist, whispering in his mind the words he promised to say every day, no matter what, the promise he refuses to break, to this day.

I love you, ____.

__________________________________

The next day, you still can't get those questions out of your head.

Jimin notices that you're distracted during breakfast and while the two of you go to the beach and look out at the water.

"What's on your mind?" He finally asks, knowing it has something to do with yesterday.

"I j-just want answers," you say quietly, staring at the sea.

Jimin clears his throat, "Are you sure you didn't just buy them at a stand somewhere?"

You shake your head, "N-No, it's the bracelet design I m-made when I was l-little."

He wants to tell you, he wants to tell you everything.

Honestly, he's been looking for those two ever since they disappeared from the hospital.

He knows they meant the best and that you were already struggling. He knows that Jungkook didn't want to drag you back into the hell you escaped from after losing your memories.

But he also knows that you're meant to be together, there's no denying that.

Searching high and low for almost a year and a half and he always came up with nothing. And now the two of you run into them in Busan? Over a year later? Only because he happened to be lucky enough to get tickets because of a cancellation, and then to mix up the dates and come early and then stay at that specific hotel and eat at that specific restaurant?

No one will convince him it isn't meant to be.

But right now, is the best plan of action telling you everything? Or is the best plan of action letting you fall in love with Jungkook again naturally?

Did Jungkook find someone else in all this time?

Maybe he's not even interested in pursuing you, as unbelievable as that seems.

But he needs to make sure.

He can't just tell you that that worker was the one you were so hopelessly in love with, the one you wanted to be with forever, the one that put you above himself in everything.

Because what if Jungkook doesn't feel the same anymore?

As your best friend, he can't put that story into your head just for it to be ripped away from you because he found someone else.

He needs to be one hundred percent positive and make sure everyone else is on board.

What good is a wingman if he lets the love of your life get away?

As your wingman, he needs answers.

And those will only come from one place.

"I j-just want to go b-back and make sure I'm not crazy," you pout.

Jimin gulps, then he nods, "Okay, we should go back."

You look at him, eyes bright, "Really?"

"Of course, besides, the food was out of this world."

________________________________________

Yeona smiles at Jungkook as she hands him a few dishes that need to be cleaned, "Think you can handle more?"

He just nods and takes them, dunking them into the water and scrubbing furiously.

She frowns and walks over to Tae, who is busy plating food.

"I'm worried about him," she whispers.

Taehyung finishes up the plates he was doing, sends them out with Beomgyu, then takes her elbow gently and leads her to the back.

"Did something happen?" She asks, worry creasing her brow, "Please don't keep stuff from me, especially when it's about you two. You know he's like a little brother to me."

Tae bites his lip, "I know."

"So, what's going on?"

"The table you served the other day, the one with the girl and guy in the corner..."

She looks thoughtful, "Oh, the one with the sweet girl that had the cute stutter?"

He nods, looking away.

"What about them?" Yeona asks softly, touching his arm.

Taehyung sighs, then he leans against the closed door.

"Do you remember when we first met?"

She laughs, "Of course, I wasn't sure if you'd return my bike that day."

Tae smiles sadly, "Do you remember why I needed that bike?"

She thinks for a moment, then she nods, "You said you needed it because a friend needed help, right?"

He nods, "Yeah. Well, that girl was the friend."

"Ah," She looks a little confused, "Then...if she was your friend, how come she acted like she didn't know anyone here?"

"Because she doesn't remember us," Tae whispers brokenly, "She lost her memories a little bit before Jungkook and I came back here."

Yeona looks deep in thought as she tries to understand.

"Is she the one..."

Before she even needs to say it, he nods, "She's the one he's in love with."

Yeona puts a hand over her mouth, tears filling her eyes.

"But she doesn't remember him at all?"

Taehyung shakes his head, "No."

Yeona turns away for a moment, wiping her eyes.

"I feel terrible for trying to have him bring that side dish over," she whispers tearfully, "I can't believe he had to go through that."

"It wasn't your fault," he says gently, taking her arms and pulling her into a hug, "You didn't know."

"That doesn't make it any better," she sniffles, "Poor Kook...I can't imagine the pain he must be in right now."

Tae holds her against him, trying to gather his strength, "He's in more pain than I can ever explain."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll tell you everything, just not today."

She looks up at him, "Does this have to do with you being an ex-hitman?"

He gulps and nods.

Yeona stuffs her face back into his chest, "Ok, I'll wait for you to be ready."

________________________________

Jimin pulls up next to a small blue car sitting outside of the restaurant a little after one in the afternoon.

"So, what are you planning on doing?" He asks curiously, looking over to see you fiddling with your fingers.

"Oh," you wave your hand dismissively, "I'm j-just gonna look at th-their bracelets, maybe ask th-them where they got them fr-from."

Jimin nods, "Sounds like a solid plan. And I will enjoy the heavenly food."

You laugh, your nerves quieting down as he chuckles.

You're not sure why you were so nervous anyway, you just want to know where they got them and if you had just forgotten about buying them from somewhere. It's probably just a silly coincidence and you made up the memory of having designed them when you were little.

The little bell clangs above the door as Jimin steps in and holds it open for you.

The same old woman from last night hobbles around the corner and smiles brightly at the two of you.

"Well, what a nice surprise! It's always wonderful to see returning faces."

"We couldn't stop thinking about your food," Jimin tells her sweetly, "I don't think I'll ever be able to eat anywhere else and be satisfied."

She laughs delightedly and thanks him, making small talk with him as she leads you two to the same table as the night before.

"Thank y-y-you," you smile at her and she smiles back, but there's an almost sad look in her eyes that confuses you. She covers it with a bigger smile and says she'll be back with water.

Jimin looks around, taking in the simple decorations, "It's so homey, I can't get over it. We're gonna need to make trips to Busan more often just to come here."

You nod in agreement, but you're a little distracted thinking about why she looked at you like that. It almost looked as though she had found a puppy she lost years ago.

It made your heart ache and you aren't sure why.

"You okay?"

You snap out of it and look at Jimin before nodding, "Yeah, j-just didn't get m-much sleep last night."

"Ah, wanna take a nap after lunch?"

You're about to answer him when the boy from last night with bleach-blonde hair comes over with cups and a pitcher, "Good afternoon, here's some water for you folks."

Jimin thanks him as he gives him a cup, then turns to hand one to you.

He freezes for a moment, his eyes widening for a split second before he seems to come to his senses and hands you the cup.

You thank him and he bows before leaving.

"J-Jimin."

"Hm?" Your best friend looks at you from over his cup of water that he's currently gulping.

"Do th-they seem like they're a-a-acting weird to you?"

He sets the cup down and sighs in satisfaction before shaking his head as he wipes his lips, "No, why?"

"Oh...m-maybe I'm more t-tired than I thought."

Jimin watches you carefully for a moment, then the old woman comes back over to take your order.

A few tables have people eating at them, but not as many as last night. It must be a quiet time for business around this hour.

Both of you are fidgety, but neither of you notice the other one glancing around nervously.

"Um, I think I need to use the restroom," Jimin says, standing up, "Too much water," he laughs a bit awkwardly.

You just nod, "...o-okay."

The dark-blonde stands there for a moment, then he bites his lip and moves away to look for the restroom.

Turning the corner where it has a sign for the restroom, Jimin glances back to see you looking at your phone.

The oversized floppy brown turtleneck you're in is practically swallowing you whole, the short black jumper dress over top of it bringing the outfit together perfectly. He smiles, knowing you would be delighted to hear how cute the outfit turned out, since you weren't so sure this morning.

He makes a mental note to tell you after he's done with what he needs to do.

Turning to look for the way to the kitchen, he bumps into someone.

"Oh, pardon me."

The girl smiles at him kindly, "Can I help you with something?"

He nods, "Yes, actually. Is Taehyung working today?"

She seems a little surprised that he seems to know one of the workers, but she recovers quickly and nods, "Yes he is- wait a minute.. oh, you were here last night!"

He nods, "Yeah, my friend and I came back to try more dishes."

"Oh, wonderful!"

Jimin scratches his neck, "Um, would I be able to speak with him?"

"Tae?"

"Mhm."

"I'll go and see if he's got a minute, I'll be right back."

"Thank you."

______________________

You thank Beomgyu when he brings over the food, noting that he's acting normal this time around.

Maybe you really did just imagine things earlier.

You look around for Jimin, wondering why it's taking him so long in the bathroom.

"Jimin?"

The blonde turns to see Taehyung walking over, a look of concern on his face.

"Hi, Tae."

"Hey," Taehyung swallows the lump in his throat, "What's going on? I didn't think we'd see you guys again after last night."

Jimin purses his lips, "We're staying in Busan for the weekend. I had no idea you guys worked here."

"You couldn't have known," Tae says softly, "I guess the world works in mysterious ways."

"You can say that again," Jimin sighs, "I need to ask you something, and I need you to answer me honestly, don't sugarcoat a single thing. Do you understand?"

Taehyung nods, a serious look on his face.

"I've been looking for you two since you left."

He sees the younger gulp at that but doesn't say anything.

"I know you meant to stay hidden, and I understand. I have no doubt that you only did what you knew was best at the time. But now that we've all run into each other again, I need to know..."

Jimin bites his lip nervously as Tae watches him carefully.

"Is Jungkook seeing someone else?"

Taehyung immediately shakes his head, "No."

"Has he seen anyone else?"

Another head shake, "Not a single soul."

"Nothing? No one? He hasn't even considered seeing another girl?"

Tae looks behind him, then he moves closer so that only Jimin can hear him, "I know it's been a long time. But Jungkook hasn't even so much as glanced at another girl. To distract himself he just started working out a lot and getting tattoos and shit to feel the adrenaline."

Jimin frowns.

"Yeah, I know it wasn't the best coping mechanism. They look radical as fuck though, you should see them."

Jimin is about to say something when Tae cuts him off, "Every single tattoo he has is meaningful to him."

"Oh, I'm sure they are," Jimin assures him, "I wasn't judging-"

"I didn't think you were, I just meant," Tae moves closer and whispers, "The kid tattooed his body with reminders of her. You don't have to worry about him seeing anyone else."

Jimin gives him a smile, "Sounds like a simp."

"He's always been a simp for her," Tae pretends to gag.

"Well, what are we supposed to do?" Jimin asks after they compose themselves.

"I don't know," Tae leans against the wall, "I was up all night thinking about it. Now that I know you two are staying at least for a few days, it makes things easier...I think."

Jimin has been gone for at least fifteen or twenty minutes and the food is getting cold.

You sigh and stand up, moving around the tables and walking over to where a sign points to the restroom. After walking around the corner and seeing the bathroom door open and the light off, you frown.

What the heck?

Where did he go?

You walk further down the hall and end up at a back door made of glass. Outside, there are a few big trash cans and some pieces of scrap metal.

Right before you turn around to head back, you see a flash of black out by the dumpsters. You stop and look out again to see the young man from last night.

The one you spilt cold broth all over.

There’s a black cat with a red collar circling his feet, its tail brushing against his legs.

Your cheeks burn a little as you watch him throw a few trash bags into the dumpster, his sleeve tattoo on full display. Even from here you can see a few bracelets adorning the wrist of the tattooed arm.

Aha.

You knew you weren't just seeing things.

But you'll need to get a better look to confirm they're the same as yours.

You're about to make yourself walk back and look for Jimin when you see him pull down the top of his unbuttoned button-down shirt so that only his shoulders are visible. He runs his hands through his hair and fans himself with his hands as he looks at the sky, facing away from you.

Gulping, you try not to stare at the tattoo on his left shoulder that's not hidden by the muscle shirt he's got on under the button-down.

It's a lotus flower.

Pretty...

clangclangclang!

"Ah!"

You trip over a piece of metal that was sitting on the steps after the door swings open suddenly.

You hadn't realized you were leaning against it.

Barely catching yourself before you faceplant, your arms swing in the air as you stumble.

Looking up, you gulp when you see the young man staring at you, his eyes wide. The cat is gone, having took off like a bullet at the ruckus you made.

He's already pulled up his shirt and closed it, having done so when he heard someone coming.

He didn't know it was you though.

Jungkook feels his breath get caught in his throat when he sees you looking up at him through a mess of hair.

Why does the universe hate him so fucking much?

You fix your hair clumsily and flash him one of your best smiles, hoping he doesn't yell at you for being out here.

"S-Sorry, I was looking f-for my friend and got a b-bit lost."

He doesn't say anything.

Why did he have to have that one split second of hope, to think that you might have remembered him and come to find him?

Your look of complete and utter calmness and unrecognition stabs him in the heart.

The universe is so fucking cruel.

"I hope I d-didn't break anything," You say as you turn to see the piece of metal lying on the ground, "I didn't s-see it there-"

"Are you hurt?"

You turn back to him, a smile finding its way to your face at the sound of his voice.

Shaking your head, you look at him with those huge eyes he could never resist, "Nuh uh, I'm f-fine."

Thank goodness.

He bites his lip as his fists clench.

He needs Tae or someone, anyone, to come out here and save him before he fucks everything up.

You fiddle with your fingers, looking down.

"Fucking hell."

"Hm?"

Jungkook startles when you look up at him and he realizes he just cursed out loud.

"Nothing, sorry."

You smile at him again and he swears to God his heart has never hurt more than this.

He's been through hell and back countless times his entire life, but nothing has hurt like this, not even close.

Why can't he just escape pain for once?

Taking a step closer, you frown when he takes a step back.

"So-sorry," you mumble, stepping away again.

Jungkook gulps, tears welling up in his eyes as he stares at you, silently begging you to just remember him. To please not freak out if he embraces you right now because he can't fucking control himself.

He lets out a shaky breath and turns away to start walking in a random direction.

Anywhere that isn't near you.

He can't do it.

He can't control himself, and he is not about to touch you when you think of him as nothing more than a stranger. He'd never forgive himself if he scared you like that.

So, he needs to get away.

"W-Wait!"

Jungkook freezes, a huge lump forming in his throat that he's pretty sure is his actual heart leaving his body.

Please, don't make this harder for me.

"I d-don't mean to bother y-you, but I was w-wondering if I could ask y-y-you a question?"

Jungkook's jaw clenches as he mentally tells himself to keep fucking breathing.

He finally turns around to face you again, but his eyes stay locked on the ground.

For a split second, they land on your chunky white tennis shoes.

They're still tied the way he did it, so you could slip them on and off, he'd swear those were the same knots he made so long ago-

"A-are you okay?" Your small voice reaches his ears, and he nods numbly after a minute.

"What did you want to ask me?" His voice is hoarse, and you wonder for a brief moment if he needs a drink of water or something.

"Um, it's a s-silly question, but c-could I see your bra-bracelets?"

You watch as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and gnaws on it gently.

"Why?" He eventually asks.

You gulp, not expecting him to question you. You thought maybe he'd just let you have a look and be done.

"I just- I th-thought I remembered-"

His head shoots up and the look he gives you takes your breath away; the pain in his eyes making your heart hurt.

"You reme-" he cuts himself off when he sees the confused look on your face.

Of course she didn't remember.

Idiot.

Jungkook takes a step back, needing to be farther from you so he can think clearly.

He's gotta get out of here before he does something stupid.

All his instincts are screaming at him to hold you and never let you go again.

But he can't.

For your sake.

"I- uh...j-just thought we m-might've gotten them at the s-same place," you whisper, very unsure of yourself now.

Jungkook holds his arm out and you stare at it for a moment, stunned.

Then you snap out of it and move closer, inspecting the three bracelets there.

Hm.

You pull up the floppy sleeve of your sweater and hold up your wrist to place it next to his, not missing the beautiful ink decorating his arm and contrasting against your bare one.

His bracelets...

They aren't just similar to yours...

They're exactly the same.

He has the yellow and black bracelet, the purple and blue bracelet, and even the silver bracelet with the exact same two charms as yours: the crescent moon and the angel wing.

You slowly look up and see him staring at you, his eyes a little shiny but his face emotionless.

A nervous laugh slips out of your mouth as your gaze falls back to your wrists, "They're th-the same."

It's quiet for a moment, then you hear him whisper, "I guess we have similar taste in jewelry."

You nod but continue staring at both of your wrists.

Then your eye catches the image of two of your favorite flowers tattooed on his arm.

Dandelion and Agapanthus...

Wow, you must have the same taste in flowers too.

Not being able to control yourself, you let your gaze wander over more of the tattoos and see a few words just below the inside of his elbow.

Live for what you love.

Your eyes slowly trace up his arm and to his dark ones that still bore into you.

It feels like he's reading your very soul.

"Who a-are you?" You whisper, not even aware of the words coming out of your mouth until there's no taking them back.

He pulls his arm back and you see him gulp, eyes never leaving yours.

"No one," his voice is barely above a whisper as it shakes slightly.

"____?"

You and Jungkook flinch at the sound of someone calling your name.

You turn and see Jimin standing on the little concrete steps, holding the door open and looking at you in surprise.

The other waiter from last night is standing behind him, a soft smile on his face as he looks back and forth between you and the young man behind you.

You turn and bow to the dark-haired stranger, "S-sorry for bothering y-you, I'll be go-going now."

He doesn't say anything as you hurry over to the steps and climb them clumsily, grabbing Jimin's hand when he reaches for you so you don't fall.

You smile and bow to the other worker and he gives you a tiny bow back, the gentle smile never leaving his face.

Jimin leads you back down the hallway. You only turn once to see the tall man going through the back door.

"What happened?" Tae asks gently as he approaches Jungkook, who is still standing in the same spot, looking a bit sickly.

"She just came out of nowhere," Jungkook chokes out, his eyes finally leaving the ground and traveling up to his best friend's smile, "Why are you smiling?"

Taehyung sighs, "Why do you think I'm smiling, Kook? They're staying in Busan for the weekend, it's fate-"

"It's not fate," Jungkook snaps, fixing his sleeves and clearing his throat before walking around Tae, "Don't pull that bullshit on me."

"Hey, now wait a fucking second," Tae grabs Jungkook's arm, ready to start an argument.

But Jungkook beats him to it; the bottle coming uncapped and the agony inside exploding.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do?!" Jungkook shouts, his voice breaking, "For over a goddamn year you told me to move on! You told me to move on for her sake!! Now you're telling me it's all clear?!"

He gets up in Tae's face, "You suddenly decide it's okay for me to love her? Now that she shows up and still doesn't remember a single fucking thing about my existence?! When she looks at me and sees nothing but a blank slate? Now it's safe for me to love her?!"

Taehyung closes his eyes, letting Jungkook scream at him all he wants.

He deserves it.

"I hate you for making me leave! I hate you for telling me not to be selfish and move on so that she can move on and live her life!! I hate that I can't fucking hate your stupid ass because you did it so I wouldn't be arrested, and you were right!! Is that what you want to hear?! You were right!! I never deserved her-"

"I never said that-"

"YOU THOUGHT IT!!" Jungkook screams, tears building up in his eyes, "WE ALL FUCKING KNEW IT!!"

Tae feels tears well up in his own eyes as he opens them to look at his best friend.

He shakes his head, "I didn't, I've never thought that."

Jungkook's jaw clenches and he almost looks like he's about to hit Tae in the face.

But the glass door opens and Yeona calls out to them before he can throw a punch.

"What's going on??" She hurries down the steps and shoves her way between them, keeping them each at an arm's length away. She turns to Jungkook, "Kook, what on earth happened? Why are you crying?"

He steps back and wipes at his eyes, confused when he feels that they're wet.

Didn't realize he was crying...

When he doesn't answer her, she looks at Tae, "What happened?" She asks fiercely, "And don't you dare say nothing, Kim Taehyung."

He sighs and looks over at Jungkook, who is shutting down.

"The customers can hear you guys screaming out here," Yeona scolds, looking at them both, "Would you care to explain why?"

Tae's face pales, "Did they hear what was said?"

Yeona shakes her head, "No, thank goodness. Just a bunch of shouting. Now, tell me what happened or I'll make sure halmeoni scolds both of you."

Taehyung glances at the youngest again before pinching the bridge of his nose, "____ came back here and spoke to him."

"Don't say her name," Jungkook growls.

Yeona looks back and forth between them, "I'm guessing this is the girl," she says softly.

When neither of them says anything, she turns to Jungkook, "Did Tae push it too far? Did he say something insensitive?"

Jungkook hesitates for a moment, then he shakes his head.

"Are you sure?" She presses gently.

He knows she always scolds Tae for being mean and he's grateful that she keeps him in line, but he just wants this whole thing to be done. So he nods, "I'm sure."

Yeona glances at Tae suspiciously, who holds up both hands in defense.

"I'm gonna step away, I expect no one to throw a punch."

She steps away, then she sighs when no one moves.

"Thank you. Now, Tae you have dishes you need to prepare. Jungkook, would you like to take your break?"

He nods and walks away before she can say anything else.

Yeona turns back to Tae, who looks after the youngest helplessly, "You need to let him calm down."

He nods dejectedly, "I know."

"Would you like to help me in the kitchen?"

Tae nods again, letting her take his hand and lead him inside.

_________________________

"Why doesn't he want to try to get close to her again?" Yeona asks quietly as she and Tae make the food side by side.

"It's not that he doesn't want to," Tae sighs, "It's that he's been convincing himself for almost a year and a half that she's better off without him. He won't admit it, but he's scared to drag her into his life again because he thinks she was happier before she met him."

Yeona frowns, "But they were in love, weren't they?"

He nods, "More than I've ever seen between two people. I don't know how to describe it...they never actually made it official because of all the bullshit happening. They didn't date like normal people do."

She just listens quietly as he tries his best to explain.

"It was different, you could almost feel it. The way they looked at each other when the other wasn't looking. They always wanted nothing more than the other to be happy and safe. It was almost tangible when you walked into the room, but it was never awkward. I fucking hate couples, they're gross, but with these two; it was almost like the room was physically brighter when they were together..."

Yeona smiles softly as she gazes at him, "I've never heard love described that way from someone on the outside looking in."

Taehyung chuckles sadly, "I've never described it that way being the one on the outside looking in."

"If he loves her as much as he does, how is he able to keep himself from her?" Yeona asks as she pours seasonings into a big pot.

"That's exactly it. He loves her so much that he lets himself hurt just to make sure she's happy, yet he still calls himself selfish," Tae plates up some food, "He really thinks she was happier before she met him."

Yeona stays silent as they finish up the last few orders in the small rush.

_______________________

Jungkook looks up from his bed when he hears a knock on the door.

"Come in," he says, knowing who it is already.

The door cracks open and he sees Yeona slip in.

She frowns when she sees him sitting on his bed, his eyes rimmed with red.

"Jungkook..."

He won't look at her, just stares at the wall.

"Can I sit?"

He gives her a quick nod.

She sits on the edge of his bed and joins him in staring at the wall.

After a brief silence, she sighs.

"You know you're like the little brother I never had, right?"

Jungkook nods but continues to stay silent.

"Do you mind if we get deep for a minute?"

He hesitates, then he shrugs and mumbles, "I guess not."

"Alright," she turns to face him, "You were the one that made sure Tae and I could be together. He kept pushing me away again and again, until finally he let me in. And we both have you to thank for that."

Jungkook shakes his head, "You two are meant to be together, you would've ended up together anyway."

"And yet, how many years would we have wasted if his best friend didn't urge him to face me?"

He gulps, starting to understand her point.

"Taehyung only briefly spoke about her to me all this time, and although I know a little more now, I still don't know everything."

She looks back at the wall he's staring at.

"Would you tell me about her?"

"I- I don't know..." Jungkook whispers uncertainly, he's never even told Tae in detail all about what he sees in you, too scared to be vulnerable.

Because look at where being vulnerable has gotten him.

"Let's start easy, what's her favorite color?"

Jungkook feels a painful jab in his heart but he forces the word out anyway, "Yellow."

"Aw, cute...and what kind of stuff does she like to eat?"

"She loves sweet things... but there's a tteokbokki stand in Seoul that was always her favorite, and she would-" He cuts himself off when he realizes he's going off.

"And she would what?"

"Never mind," Jungkook puts a hand to his head, "None of this matters anymore, it's not like it's useful to me."

Yeona frowns, "Why are you refusing to let her get close to you again?"

"Tae probably already told you, his big fucking mouth-"

"I want to hear it from you."

Jungkook sighs in irritation, she really is like an older sister, nagging at him all the time.

"Because she's better off without me, okay?" He snaps.

"What makes you say that? Clearly she's taken an interest in you even though she doesn't remember-"

"Yeona. The first time I saw her, I was figuring out the best way to fucking kill her."

She looks at him in surprise.

"She was my hit," Jungkook mumbles, "And she was the most innocent human I ever met."

She stays quiet, sensing that he's finally opening up as he gets this faraway look in his eye.

"She always had this light in her eyes, no matter what happened. The light never dimmed, it was like she saw the world through the eyes of a kid. She saw beauty in the world that leaves us after we grow up, the magic that we all stop believing in."

He drops his head in his hands, "Then it was gone. There was no light left, nothing. I did that to her..."

"Jungkook-"

"I did, I took that light away from her. And now she has it back," his voice breaks, "And if she gets dragged into my life again, she'll lose it forever."

Yeona stays quiet.

"She was and is happier without knowing me."

"Why can't you let her decide that, though?" Yeona whispers, "Why do you get to make that decision for her? Why should Tae get what he wants and you need to suffer? Yes, things happened that hurt all of you guys, but it's over now, isn't it?"

Jungkook gnaws on his lip.

"You're done with the hits, no?"

He nods, "Yes."

"So you haven't done a single hit since the last guy...Dae?"

Jungkook's jaw clenches at the sound of his name, but nods to confirm her question.

"And the hits were more or less the center of it all...am I wrong?"

He shakes his head a little.

"So, everyone needs to keep healing, it's going to take a lot of time...but, if she loved you as much as I'm sensing she did; don't you think she'd like to heal with you instead of alone?"

Jungkook gulps, "I wish it was that simple. But if she doesn't remember me, how is that going to work? I'm not going to lie to her and pretend like we didn't meet until now if we get closer. Nothing good has ever come from lying to her. I'm not going to do that."

"Good, because that would be the worst idea ever."

"So, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

She shrugs, "Well for starters, let Tae back in. He's the one that knows you two better than I ever will. And he said something about her friend...Jimin? He said that Jimin wants to find a way to get you two back together."

Jungkook feels his chest tighten, "It's not going to happen unless we tell her everything. And I am not throwing her back into those memories, I'm not going to do that to her for my own selfishness, not when she's finally happy again."

He stands up and walks to the door, "I'm going to the shops, halmeoni told me we needed some things earlier."

The door shuts behind him harshly and she sighs, hoping that he will at least take her words into consideration.

_____________________________________

Jungkook grabs a few bushels of the vegetables halmeoni asked him to get, walking around the little stands where people are shouting different prices and what they have to offer.

"Can I get five please?" He asks the little old man at the stand with cabbages.

He pays the man, grabbing the bag and thanking him before moving on.

At least halmeoni made him bring the cart this time. Usually, he insists he can carry everything, not wanting to lug around this silly thing. But there's definitely more to carry this time than usual.

Jungkook walks over to the peach stand, glancing over them.

The memory of you laughing and joking in his old apartment as the two of you make peach-filled mochi floods his brain.

The peaches in front of him blur and he bites his lip harshly.

Get it together, Jungkook.

You don't get to be selfish anymore.

"What can I get for you, sweetie?"

He clears his throat and is about to answer, when another voice speaks up and he realizes the vendor wasn't even talking to him.

"C-Can I please get t-two?"

The sound of your stutter squeezes his heart painfully as he turns to the side to see you standing there, eyes wide as you look at the plump fruit.

The lady at the stand nods and bags up two peaches, telling you the price as she hands them to you.

"Thank y-you," you dig into your wallet and pull out some money to hand to her, then you frown when you realize you don't have enough.

"Um, o-one second," Rifling through your change purse, you bite your lip, then you hand the peaches back to her, "I d-don't have enough c-cash-"

You and the peach lady look to the side in surprise when someone holds out a few bills.

"Will this cover it? I'd like to get four myself please."

The lady nods and smiles, winking at you before taking the money in his outstretched hand and bagging up four peaches for him.

"How is your halmeoni, Jungkook?" The old woman asks kindly.

You just stare at him, shocked that you've run into him again for the second time today.

Jungkook...

That's a beautiful name...

"She's doing alright, thank you," Jungkook says politely, but you can hear a slight strain in his voice.

He bows and turns to move on.

You can't help but follow him to the next stand, missing the way his body stiffens at the close proximity.

"Your n-name is b-beautiful," you say, coming up to his side as he forces himself to look at the radishes.

"Thank you," he mumbles.

"D-Don't you want to know m-my name?" You ask.

Your name has been etched into my brain for two years, ____.

"Jungk-kook," You try it out when he doesn't answer, smiling brightly.

His throat closes up and he needs to stop for a moment, his hand gripping the handle of the cart until his knuckles turn white.

How can someone saying his name physically hurt like this?

It isn't just someone, though.

It's you.

Suddenly he can't breathe.

Jungkook grabs at his chest, his breath becoming shallow as his eyes water.

"A-are you okay?"

Your voice is faint in the background as the world turns fuzzy.

The next thing he knows, he's kneeling on the ground, clutching at his bleeding heart and gasping for air.

"Hey, are y-you okay??"

When he feels you touch his arm gently, he flinches away, not letting himself see the hurt in your eyes.

"Please stop," his voice breaks painfully as he stands up and grabs the cart, "I can't take it anymore- just stop."

You watch sadly as he leaves, pushing through people in a hurry to get away.

________________________________

"____? What happened?"

"I- I ran into the b-boy from the restaurant," You whisper.

Jimin's eyes widen, "Oh? Well, what did he say?"

"He t-told me to stop," You say sadly, "I d-didn't realize I'd made him unco-comfortable."

He frowns, knowing that Jungkook hadn't meant it in that way at all, but not sure how to tell you.

"I got p-peaches though," you say with a tearful chuckle, holding up the bag.

Jimin smiles softly, "I bet they're delicious."

You and Jimin grab a few more things before heading back to the hotel.

Up in your room, you and Jimin eat some of the peaches as you talk.

"So, what makes you so interested in him?" Jimin asks as he lays on your bed while you lounge in the comfy chair by your window, "Is it because he's hot?"

Your cheeks heat up instantly, "Jimin..."

"What?" He laughs, "Am I wrong? Those tats are pretty sexy-"

"S-stop!" You throw the pillow you were hugging at his head, making him laugh harder.

"In all seriousness though," he says after he's finished chuckling, "Why him?"

"I d-don't know," You mumble, picking at a piece of thread on your jumper, "I just f-feel drawn to him for s-some reason...I guess...I d-don't know, it's silly-"

"It isn't silly," Jimin says gently, sitting up and looking at you, "Some souls are connected, I fully believe that."

"What d-do you mean by that?"

He swallows the lump in his throat, "I don't know, maybe you knew him in another life," he whispers, watching you closely.

You look down sadly before shaking your head, "Or I'm j-just being a w-w-weirdo."

Jimin flops back onto the bed, deciding to change the subject, "Are you ready for the art show tomorrow?"

Your eyes light up and you nod, "Mhm! I c-can't believe I actually get to s-see Kim Junsoo's w-work in person!"

Jimin smiles, "I wonder if he'll be there..."

Jumping off the chair, you point at him, "D-don't put that idea in m-my head! I would d-die."

He laughs, "Well, it is his show. Hey, did you hear about how he's going to be showcasing some other artists' work?"

You shake your head, "I didn't, wh-who else's work is g-going to be there?"

"I'm not sure, there was an article I read about it last night that said he wanted to include a few unknown artists' work as well because he remembers the days when no one knew who he was. He said he wanted to give them the chance that he never got early on."

"That's s-so awesome," You flop down onto the bed next to him, "M-maybe we'll get some n-new artists to love!"

"That would be great," Jimin smiles at you.

______________________________________

The next morning, Jimin knocks on your door and lets you know he's up and getting ready for the day and you call back to him that you're going to take a shower.

You get in the shower and wash away all the sweat from last night. You're not sure why you were hot all night long, but it was a pretty icky feeling.

"Ha," You sigh in satisfaction at the feeling of the water washing all the grime away.

After your shower, you look through some of the clothes you bought on Friday. They had so many cute things that it was hard not to buy everything.

Hmm, you want the outfit to be just right today...

Finally, you decide on the sheer white long-sleeved shirt that's sleeves are slightly puffed. Over that, you put on a pale pink dress with ruffles on the bottom of the skirt and ruffled two-inch sleeves; the rest of the dress is covered in strawberries and bunnies. Pulling on some white stockings, you look into the mirror and smile in satisfaction.

Perfect.

After pulling on your shoes, you meet Jimin in the hallway.

"You look great!" He exclaims and you blush.

"Thank you."

He nods, "Definitely the right choice. What do you want to do until the show starts? It isn't starting until five tonight."

You nod, "I w-was trying to think of th-things last night. Sh-should we just g-go and look around the city?"

Jimin nods, "Sounds good to me! Let's go."

The drive to the city isn't too awfully long. You and Jimin walk around and look at the shops, grab a bite to eat, and then keep walking.

It really is beautiful here.

"Where are you going so early? I thought the show didn't start until five."

Jungkook looks up from tying his shoes to see Tae leaning against the doorframe.

"I just felt like getting out," Jungkook says quietly, "I'm too cooped up in here; it always feels stuffy when we're closed."

Taehyung nods, "I agree. Halmeoni said she and Beomgyu will be there. Yeona and I will meet you at the show later too, that's still the plan right?"

The younger nods as he finishes tying his shoes, "If that's what you guys are still wanting to do it's fine with me."

Tae sighs quietly, then steps in front of the door when Jungkook tries to leave.

"Wait."

Jungkook looks at Tae, not a single emotion showing on his face, "What?"

"I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen."

"For what to happen?" Jungkook asks.

"This, all of this. I just wanted to protect you, I didn't want you to hurt anymore. But, I fucked up and I'm sorry."

Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, then he looks at Tae, his face softening, "I know you didn't mean to hurt me, that's why I got so angry, because I knew deep down that it was me who did the hurting. You really only told me once to move on for her sake, I was the one that drilled it into myself for so long. And I know you only said that in a panic to try and help."

Tae purses his lips, not saying anything. He still feels responsible.

"What were you supposed to do, Tae?" Jungkook asks quietly, "You were the one that saved me from being locked up the rest of my life. You didn't make her lose her memories. I guess fate just doesn't like me very much."

Taehyung gulps as Jungkook pats him on the shoulder, "At least I get to walk around outside, eat normal food, watch my best friend fall in love, feel the sun, and see that she's happy. Knowing she's doing well is what matters to me the most, even if seeing her is killing me. If it wasn't for you, I'd miss all of this. Thank you, I mean it."

Tae nods, a lump stuck in his throat as Jungkook moves past him to leave.

__________________________

It's a few hours until the show and you and Jimin are walking around the park.

You climbed the jungle gym a few times and slid down the slide a lot, now you're trying to convince Jimin to play hide n' seek with you.

"What if you wander off and get lost?" Jimin cries.

"We h-have phones!" You guffaw, holding it up to prove your point.

"Oh yeah..." Jimin thinks for a moment, then he nods, "You know what, ok. Let's do it. You hide first and I'll find you."

You take turns counting and hiding, laughing your heads off when you find each other. Then you tell him the boundaries for the game are bigger now because it's too easy. He agrees but only because you promise to call him if you make a wrong turn.

He sits on the swings, covers his eyes and starts to count.

"One...two...three..."

You take off for the trees that you've been eyeing for a while, trying to contain your giggles as you run as quickly as you can.

There's a path through the trees that you run down, looking back to see Jimin still sitting on the swing. He's too far to hear though.

You keep running down the path, turning your head every once in a while to make sure you can still see him.

When your lungs are finally starting to burn, you glance back once more to see the Jimin speck moving.

He's done counting already???

You squeal and turn back to the front to keep running, but you end up crashing into someone instead.

Flying backwards from the impact, you land on your bottom with a grunt of pain.

Looking up to apologize, you see Jungkook stumbling a bit before catching himself.

"Oh."

He looks up at the sound of your voice.

You see something flash across his face, but you can't tell what emotion it is.

Jumping up from the ground, you grab his hand and pull him behind the big tree you were heading towards in the first place.

Startled by your action, Jungkook doesn't even resist as you yank him with you, making him crouch and putting a finger up to your lips.

"J-Jimin is looking for me," You whisper, eyes wide as you look at him, "Be q-quiet."

He nods, then his brows furrow before he leans closer to whisper, "Why don't you want him to find you?"

"It's a g-game," You giggle.

"Ah," He nibbles on his bottom lip, forcing himself not to focus on how fucked up the universe is for this.

What are the fucking chances?

"W-what is that?"

Jungkook snaps back to the present and sees you pointing at his chest. He looks down to see that the chain with his mother's ring on it has come out from under his shirt.

"Shit," He tucks it back in, "It's nothing."

"That n-nothing is beautiful," You whisper.

Jungkook closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths.

Don't fucking cry, you fucking wuss.

"She m-must be spe-special to you," you say quietly, looking at him carefully.

Jungkook opens his eyes and looks at you, his gaze drifting over your face and for the first time since seeing you here, actually takes you in.

He's not been letting himself look too closely, out of fear of fucking up.

But he can't resist anymore, he just can't.

He's too weak.

And for the first time in forever, that doesn't bother him.

"She is," He whispers.

You smile at him, then you look around the tree trunk and put a hand over your mouth, eyes wide.

Jimin has come farther onto the path, looking around carefully.

Jungkook gulps as he just watches you, his heart breaking a little more every second, until it feels like a glass that's shattered to pieces. Too broken to be put together again.

I love you...

_________

Jimin ends up finding you because you couldn't keep your giggles under control.

But when you turn back to thank Jungkook for not exposing your hiding place, he's gone.

You look around sadly, not seeing him anywhere.

He was so quiet, he slipped away too quickly.

Part of you thinks you might have hallucinated the whole encounter because Jimin didn't even see him. But then you see the leaves that Jungkook was crouching on all crunched up and you know he was actually here.

Hm.

___________________

Walking up to the convention center, you feel your heart starting to beat faster and faster.

"I bet he's inside those doors-"

"Jimin, st-stop!" You cry, hands cupping your cheeks as the excitement starts to take hold, "You're n-not helping!"

"Sorry," He chuckles, "Just remember, he's a man in his sixties that makes beautiful art, just a human like you and me."

You give him a long side glance, "He m-might be a human, but he's n-n-not like you and me."

Jimin guffaws and grabs the door, opening it and holding it for you to walk through.

"Fair enough."

You step inside and immediately see a bunch of people milling about, soft music playing over the speakers as people dressed in white and black uniforms walk around with trays carrying tall glasses of bubbling liquid.

You and Jimin stand there in shock for a second, your jaws on the floor as you take it all in.

"Well," Jimin eventually gulps, "At least we aren't underdressed."

You nod numbly, still in awe of how beautiful it all is and you haven't even seen the art yet.

"How d-do they know who b-b-bought tickets?" You ask, then a second later, a man dressed in a burgundy outfit that looks like the ones the servers are wearing waves to you.

Oh, he'd been standing there at a small podium looking thingy the whole time, you just didn't see him.

"Good evening," He says politely, "May I have your tickets please?"

Jimin takes them out of his pocket and hands them to the man that bows after putting them in a little booklet you can't see very well, "Have a splendid time."

"We will," You say, smiling brightly before grabbing Jimin's hand and pulling him into the crowd.

A lot of people usually make you nervous, but the excitement is overpowering that right now.

"How c-can there be so m-many people?" You turn around in a circle, looking at the fancy dresses and suits, happy that you went with this outfit. It isn't as glamorous as some of these dresses, but it's definitely you.

Chandeliers hang from the high ceiling of the spacious hall.

"Where d-do you think the art is?" You ask jumping up and down.

"I saw a sign that said it would be on the second and third floors, but they aren't opening it to the guests until five."

"Ohhhh," you look around until you see a staircase leading up and next to it is an escalator, one side going up and one down. There are a few security guards standing at the bottom and top, no doubt making sure no one tries to get up there early.

"This is way more than I expected," Jimin says in an almost dreamlike state as he looks around.

You nod, "M-Me too."

"I wonder if they have food?" Jimin muses, trying to see around people.

You laugh, "I th-think they do! I s-saw someone with some ch-cheese."

"Cheese?! Ok, I need to find that food table."

You and Jimin walk around for a while, looking at a few pieces of art that aren't a part of the show everyone's here for, but they're beautiful just the same.

While looking at the different decorations, you stumble upon the food tables. Fruits, cheeses, crackers, and other little finger foods galore.

You and Jimin gather as much as you can on the tiny plates, then you go to a corner where you can eat in peace.

A few judging looks are thrown your way as the two of you sit on the floor out of the way and eat. Neither of you really care though, it's not like you're in their walkway.

After eating the snacks you got, Jimin throws away the plates and walks back to you, "It's still about fifteen minutes until they open the second and third floors to guests, and even then, it's just walking around when you want, we don't need to rush or anything. Are you good while I go to the restroom?"

You nod and he pats your shoulder before walking away.

It didn't take him long, but when he comes out again, he runs into a few familiar faces from high school.

A text buzzes your phone and you grab it, opening it to see a message from Jimin.

Jimin: I got nabbed by some old friends. They literally won't stop talking, I'll be over there as soon as I can, sorry.

You laugh and text him not to worry because you're fine and that you're just gonna walk around the hall and look at the art you didn't see yet.

As you're walking around, trying not to get into people's way, you see everyone start moving in a certain direction.

Looking at your phone, you realize it's five o'clock.

bzzzzzt.

Jimin: Hey, where should I meet you? They opened the upstairs and I finally got away.

You reply quickly, telling him to meet you at the top of the escalators.

A few minutes later, you're met with Jimin's smiling face as he waves at you, "There you are!"

Walking around the art gallery of one of your favorite artists is so surreal; it almost feels like you're walking on clouds as you look at all the gorgeous pieces he created throughout his life.

After a while, you and Jimin decide to play a game and split up. You each have to find a piece of art on the second floor and the third floor that you think best describes the other person on the outside and on the inside.

You find one on the second floor almost immediately after leaving Jimin.

It's a giant painting of the seashore, so realistic you feel almost as though you can smell the ocean breeze and feel the water spraying your face gently.

There's just something about it that reminds you of him.

You make a mental note of where it is so you can bring Jimin back to it and show him, then you make your way around, glancing briefly and knowing that you can come back with Jimin and look at the art closer.

Deciding to go to the third floor, you pass Jimin on the escalators, trying not to laugh as he makes a silly face at you.

You see a lot more statues on this floor, inspecting them carefully and trying to see if any of them give you Jimin vibes.

Nothing yet.

You turn a corner and see a line of gorgeous paintings, your mouth dropping open as you walk in and see an older man looking at one of the paintings. He's the only other person in the room.

Keeping a distance so he doesn't feel uncomfortable, you look at the painting he's in front of. It's one of your favorites, always has been.

The painting is of a bathtub, bubbles forming at the top of the water and covering most of the body of the woman inside, her hands pressed to her face and her hair in a knotty bun on the top of her head.

The white tub is lined with gold, and if you look close enough, the woman has a streak of gold leaving her eye from behind her hands, the shiny tear going all the way to her chin.

You always wondered if she was crying tears of joy or sadness. Nothing else in the picture gives you the answer, leaving you to figure it out yourself.

"This one was always my favorite," The old man whispers, startling you.

A smile spreads on your face after the initial surprise and you turn to him, "Really? M-Me too!"

You see a smile of his own light up his face before he turns to look at you.

He looks kind of familiar...you probably saw him around the city earlier.

"What's your favorite part about this one?" He asks.

"Mm, it's g-g-gorgeous, but I th-think my favorite part is th-that I can relate to it no m-matter what I'm feeling."

"How so?"

"I c-could never figure out if sh-she was crying because she w-was happy or sad..." You muse, looking at the image closely, "When I'm s-sad or happy, I f-feel like this p-picture is relatable and I c-can connect with h-her. I feel n-not so alone," You whisper.

He nods and looks back at the painting, his eyes a little watery before he blinks rapidly.

"Do you like to paint?"

You nod, "W-When I can, b-b-but I mostly draw because I always have c-colored pencils."

His smile grows a little more, "What kind of stuff do you like to draw?"

You hold up a finger and then reach into your bag, pulling out a few pieces of paper and handing them to him proudly, "I l-l-like to draw cute things m-mostly, just things I l-love."

He takes the pictures and looks at them, seeing childish drawings of bunnies, flowers, and candy.

"These are beautiful," He says genuinely with a kind smile, "I can see the love you have for these things through your work."

Feeling a bit choked up at his words, you thank him quietly as he hands you the drawings back.

"Don't ever give up on the things you love, okay?"

You nod, keeping the pictures pressed to your chest.

"It appears as though I'm being summoned. I hope you enjoy the rest of the gallery," he says before bowing and walking over to a group of important looking people that waved to him.

That's when it hits you.

You turn and hear one of the men call him 'Mr. Kim' and your heart stops in your chest.

Oh my gosh...

Your legs suddenly turn to jelly and you stuff the pictures into your purse before all but running from the room, avoiding his eye as you hurry past him.

Did you literally just meet one of your favorite artists of all time?

Just by chance?

You need to tell Jimin.

Trying to find your way back to the escalators, you start getting anxious because of the amount of people coming your way. Suddenly everyone decided to come to the third floor apparently.

You try your best to get through them, but it gets harder and harder and you can't see over them.

Now you're getting panicky.

A man that jostles you roughly is what breaks the last bit of control you had not to freak out.

You push past people, not wanting to hurt anyone but needing to get out of this throng.

When you finally get out of the most crowded part, you look around frantically for a sign to the restroom. Seeing one almost immediately, you make a B-line for it.

Against your best efforts, tears start to stream down your face and your chest gets painfully tight. A few people give you weird looks, but you ignore them as you finally get to the third-floor restroom.

Inside the door, there's a fancy lounge area and two more doors, one for men on the left and one for women on the right.

Since there's no one in this area, you hurry over to a couch and sit down, sobbing into your hands for a minute before scrambling through your bag and pulling out the drawing.

You take a deep breath and focus on the little dandelion.

"Give me anything, everything you can. I can carry it."

Your brows furrow when the voice echoes through your mind.

Not knowing why it made your heart ache so bad, you put a hand on your head as you try to figure out where this memory is suddenly coming from.

Just then, you hear a door creak and you turn to see the men's bathroom door is open and a young man is stepping out.

Jungkook...?

He freezes when he sees you, then you see a concerned look flit across his face and he walks over to you.

"Hey," he says softly, "Can I sit?"

You nod as you wipe your tears, a bit embarrassed that he's seen you like this.

Jungkook sits next to you on the couch, a gentleness about him.

"Are you okay?"

You nod, "J-Just a little o-overwhelmed."

"Ah," he nods in understanding, "It is pretty crazy out there."

You tuck the small picture into your pocket and sigh gently before turning to him, "You l-like art?"

He gulps and nods, a sad look in his eyes as he gazes at you, "I love art."

"Me t-too," you sniffle and wipe your nose.

It's quiet for a minute, then Jungkook looks back at you, "How are you feeling?"

Just being next to you is killing him.

But he can't run, not now. Not when you need someone to be here with you.

Not when you need him.

"I'm o-okay," Your voice is a little shaky as you turn to smile at him, "How a-are you?"

Jungkook chuckles lightly, "I'm doing fine, thank you."

God, how he wishes he could just pull you into his arms and never let you go. His heart feels like someone just impaled it with a million tiny thorns as he watches you wipe your nose with the back of your hand and then use your thumbs to wipe at your eyes.

He was supposed to be the one to dry your tears, he was supposed to be the one that was always there and making sure that the only tears that slid down your cheeks were ones of pure joy.

How could everything have gotten so utterly fucked up?

How is he going to be able to let you leave him for the second time?

"W-where is she?"

Jungkook startles at the sound of your teary voice, then he notices you looking at something and looks down to see that he's holding his mother's ring between his fingers, stroking it mindlessly.

"Oh," He doesn't say anything else.

You just watch him quietly, waiting to see if he'll tell you.

"She..." Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, "She's finally living the life she deserves...I hope."

You nod, watching as he hides it in his shirt again.

"I'm s-sorry," You whisper.

Jungkook can't tear his eyes away from the white carpet, "Me too."

"You m-must have really loved her..."

He nods.

I do.

It's silent again for a couple minutes, both of you just stuck in your own minds. His presence alone calms your nerves immensely.

Then, there's a voice over the speaker, announcing that the rooms with the new artists' work will be opening in just a few minutes.

"I sh-should probably find my fr-friend," You say as you stand up, Jungkook following suit, "Thank y-you for talking to m-me."

"Thanks for letting me keep you company," Jungkook says gently, giving you what seems like a sad smile, "I think I'm gonna head out soon."

"We'll prob-probably run into each other a-again," You laugh lightly as Jungkook nods, "Probably. See you later."

You bid him goodbye and leave, texting Jimin that you'll meet him at the rooms where the new artists' work will be shown.

Jungkook watches the door swing shut behind you before he lets himself sink back down onto the couch, his head falling into his hands and his chest aching so deeply that he briefly wonders if his heart might actually stop beating.

"Hey, are you alright?"

You nod to Jimin and give him a small smile, assuring him that you'll fill him in later.

"I didn't think we'd run into you here."

You turn to see the other young man that works at the restaurant with Jungkook, a huge smile on his handsome face. The sweet waitress is next to him, also smiling brightly as she waves.

"Oh, hi!" Jimin exclaims, "What a small world."

"Were you guys here to see the new artists' gallery?" Taehyung asks.

"Well, technically we came to see Kim Junsoo's work, we didn't know about the new artists until the other day, but we're definitely going to check them out."

The young man smiles kindly at you even though you hadn't been the one speaking, "I think you'll love it."

You smile back, a small ache in your heart once more that you again can't pinpoint.

"Well, we'll see you guys around," He gives you one more smile before walking away with the girl that slips her hand into his.

Taehyung looks back at you when you aren't looking.

Come on, ____. I know we're in there somewhere.

_______________

"Wow, look at this," Jimin points to a statue that looks like it could be a million different things depending on the angle you're looking at it from.

"C-cool," You muse, walking around it and inspecting it carefully.

Your heart has been hurting ever since you were in that lounge area, no matter what you do to try and make it feel better, it won't.

Walking around and looking at all the pieces, you and Jimin whisper about what you think the artists were going for or what might have inspired them.

After a while, you get to a section that veers off a bit from the others, big and small paintings lining the white walls.

Just walking into this area makes your body feel all warm and tingly.

The first painting you see is one of a lotus flower, floating in the water. A closer look shows the reflection of a small boy holding a woman's hand.

At first glance, one wouldn't even notice it.

Gosh, it's beautiful.

Tears spring to your eyes for some reason unknown to you.

The next painting looks like a butterfly inside a cocoon, so lifelike and pretty.

You turn to see Jimin looking at a painting of a girl standing on the edge of a cliff.

Walking over for a better look, your brows furrow in confusion.

The girl's hair is flowing in the wind, and you can tell her arms are crossed in front of her as she hugs herself.

It's gorgeous, but what confuses you are her clothes.

She's wearing a short white skirt and a baby blue sweater.

You have that exact outfit...

Even her socks and shoes look like yours...

"She looks like you," Jimin says quietly, turning to look at you, "Hey, she's even got your hair."

You swallow and nod, then you turn slowly and your breath gets stuck in your throat.

The next painting your eyes land on is a girl lying in a bed, her hair covering most of her face as she sleeps soundly on a white pillow. It looks like it's through the eyes of the person lying next to her.

Jimin steps up next to you, "Is it just me, or does that also look like you?"

You turn again and see one of a girl wearing a flower crown, looking up to the sky as her arms are stretched above her head. It's only the back of her, so you can't see her face.

But she's wearing another outfit that you could swear is in your closet and her hair looks just like yours.

Huh?

Jimin points at another painting, "Ok, you can't tell me that isn't you."

You breathe out shakily as you come closer to the one he's pointing at.

The girl is on her knees, a pillow under them as she holds a needle and string in her fingers, seemingly trying to thread the needle.

The view is from above, so you can't fully see her face, but you can see enough of it.

Your heartbeat picks up as you force your legs to keep walking, eyes scanning the paintings.

The same girl is in every single one.

She's hiding behind a purple teddy bear you could swear looks just like Bonbon, she's running in a field of purple flowers, she's holding a giant cotton candy duck that covers her face, she's sitting between the viewer's legs as they run a brush through her hair. And she's always wearing clothes that you know you own.

In all of them, it looks like the painter is capturing how in love they are.

What is going on?

Jimin watches as you start hurrying from one piece of art to the next, until you stop in front of one.

"Holy shit," Jimin breathes when his eyes land on what you're staring at.

The girl is sitting in the cart of a Ferris wheel, lights of the fair behind her as she looks up at the person behind the painting.

The lights shining in her eyes look like a million stars in the night sky.

Her face is clear as day.

It's you.

You take a faltering step back.

There's no denying anymore that the girl in the paintings is you.

You're so confused.

Breath becoming short and quick, you take another step back.

You don't know what's going on.

How could you be this artist's inspiration if you've never met them before?

These things never happened to you...did they?

You turn to leave so that you can clear your head, but you're met with the last painting in the small hall that takes the last of your breath away.

Jimin stands frozen, staring at the painting that you're standing in front of.

A tiny dandelion, trying its best to reach the sun despite the larger dandelions looming above it and attempting to cover its humble beauty.

"What the fuck," Jimin whispers, scanning the painting that perfectly matches the drawing in your pocket, the only difference being the size and the fact that it has color.

You can't tear your eyes away from the image, an overwhelming feeling of grief striking your heart.

Suddenly, you're at a small dining table, looking at the tiny picture and talking about how beautiful it is. The face of a handsome boy smiling shyly at you appears as he takes it and walks over to his nightstand to put it in the drawer there.

The one you'll open later and take the picture from, tucking it into your pocket so that he doesn't see.

Being yanked back to the present, you stumble back, a hand pressed to your mouth as the whole summer before you fell into a coma comes crashing into your brain like a fast-forwarded movie.

"____!" Jimin cries as he jumps forward to catch you as you trip over your own feet trying to back away from the painting.

He's a second too late as you land on your bottom, whole body shaking violently as tears stream down your face.

The last memory you had of him, lying in a pool of his own blood, causes a broken sob to leave you as you clamp your hands on your mouth tightly.

Jungkook.

"We lost him..."

Another sob leaves your throat as more people start to come into the hall, looking at the crying girl on the floor in confusion.

That's when it hits you.

He isn't dead...

...he isn't...dead?

Jimin flinches when you scramble to your feet, tears pouring down your cheeks as you take off running down the hall.

"Jungkook!" You run into the crowd of people, catching the attention of a certain young man that was about to enter the hall you were just in.

"____?" Tae whispers in disbelief as he sees you sobbing and pushing through a crowd, screaming his best friend's name.

"P-Please move!" You cry, shoving past people and not looking back once as you head for the restroom.

Slamming into the lounge area, you look around frantically but don't see him anywhere.

Did he leave already?

You turn and run out, now making your way to the escalators.

"Jungkook!"

Finally getting through the mass of people, you run for the stairs next to the escalators and grab the railing to keep your balance as you practically fly down them.

"Jeon Jungkook!!"

Jungkook is about to walk through the front doors when he hears someone screaming his name at the top of their lungs.

He turns to see you running across the giant hall, tears streaming down your face as your hair falls in tangles around your face.

"____?" His voice seems miles away as he takes a step towards you.

A sob tears itself from you as you reach your arms out for him.

Before he can even think, his feet are moving and he's meeting you halfway, catching you when you throw yourself into his arms.

"J-Jungkook," You cry hysterically as you stuff your face into his shoulder, crying your heart out, his name falling from your lips over and over again.

His hand cups the back of your head as he tries to understand what's going on, tears streaming down his face unashamedly as he holds you tightly.

Do you really...remember him?

"I th-thought you d-died," You whimper, squeezing him.

"I'm right here," Jungkook's voice shakes uncontrollably, "I'm alive, I'm okay."

"You d-died, you died in m-my arms," Tears continue to pour down your soft cheeks.

"I'm right here, sweetpea," Jungkook whispers, petting your hair, concentrating on the feeling of you in his arms, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

This is real.

It's not another dream.

You're here in his arms and you know him.

This is real.

Neither of you care about the stunned onlookers staring at you two in confusion.

Running across the hall and stopping a small distance away, Taehyung and Jimin freeze when they're met with the sight of you and Jungkook wrapped in each other's arms.

"Holy fucking shit," Tae rasps, "She remembered."

You feel Jungkook pull you impossibly closer, "I missed you so fucking much, ____,” his voice breaks as the tears fall endlessly down his face.

"I missed you t-too," You whisper into his neck.

Jungkook gulps and forces himself to keep breathing even as his brain and heart race.

You finally pull away just enough to see his face.

Laughing tearfully, you gently wipe his wet cheeks, "Y-You're alive," you whisper, salty tears still flowing even as a huge smile breaks out on your face, "You're a-actually alive."

He nods as you brush under his eyes, "I'm alive," he says quietly.

Jungkook lowers you to the ground so he can cup your face with his trembling hands, "I love you, ____." It takes everything he has not to break down into uncontrollable sobs.

Your heart thunders in your chest as he leans down to slot his mouth against yours, the soft touch of his lips bringing fresh tears to your eyes after not feeling him for over a year.

Jungkook's heart aches deeply in his chest, but this time, for the first time in so long, it's a good ache.

It feels like he's drowning in you, and he doesn't want to come up for air. He's not going to let go of you again. He won't lose you, never again.

"I l-love you too," You whisper when he finally pulls away to get a breath, your eyes staring into his, like you're reading his soul.

It feels as though you're watching all of the agony he went through all this time.

"I'm s-so sorry I forgot," you choke out, "I'm sorry I d-didn't remember you."

Jungkook shakes his head and smiles at you so softly it breaks your heart, "You came back to me, that's all that matters now."

"I'm n-never leaving again," You promise, lifting your hand and linking your pinky with his.

After he wraps his pinky around yours and seals the deal, he pulls you into another kiss.

Taehyung quickly brushes under his eyes before anyone can catch the few tears that escape as he fights a smile.

I knew you'd come back, ____.

__________________________________________

4 months later...

"Come on, hurry up, slowpoke."

You grumble at Jungkook's words as you climb the rocks going up the cliff.

"Y-you did this l-last time," you huff and puff grumpily as Jungkook laughs, "There's a p-path and you a-always make me cli-climb this."

Jungkook reaches down and takes your hand, pulling you up the last few feet, "This is more exciting though, don't you think?"

You can't help the smile that spreads on your face as he winks at you.

Looking around, you sigh happily, not so irritated now that you're at the top and get to look at the gorgeous view.

"H-Has it really b-been so long?" You muse, walking over to the edge and looking out over the water, remembering the day Jungkook took you here for the first time. It's still hard to believe he was planning on killing you here.

Jungkook smiles at the sight of your hair blowing in the wind, just like it was back then.

Feeling his arms wrap around your waist, you let yourself relax into him as you watch the sunset; gold and pink clouds splattered across the sky.

Jungkook tucks his face into the juncture between your neck and shoulder, "Love you, sweetpea," he mumbles before leaving a sweet kiss there. You smile and rub his hands that rest on your hips, "L-Love you too, s-silly."

He inhales deeply, breathing in your sweet scent and sighing happily.

"Do you think Pumpkin and Yin are behaving?"

You laugh quietly, "They l-love Tae, Yeona too. I'm s-sure they're being good."

Feeling his tickly breath against your neck, you giggle.

Jungkook smiles and kisses your neck once more before pulling away.

You pout and turn to him, "W-why did stop?"

He visibly gulps and you look at him in concern, "H-Hey, are you okay?"

Nodding, he puts a hand in his pocket as he gulps again.

You're about to ask him what's wrong when the words get stuck in your throat as he kneels on the ground and gently takes your hand.

You can feel his hand shaking slightly.

"J-Jungkook..."

He pulls his other hand from his pocket, and you see a small black box.

Your heart races as he looks up at you.

"____...I-"

It's your turn to gulp as he pulls himself together enough to say what he's been wanting to say for so long.

"My entire life, I was always searching for a way to be whole. I could never even imagine loving myself, let alone another person," Tears brim in his eyes as he squeezes your hand gently, "I never thought the person I would fall so deeply in love with would be you. And through loving you, I grew to learn how to love myself too."

You resist the urge to wipe the tears from your eyes.

"I thought loving someone meant growing up, but that isn't what happened with you. I became a kid again and I've gotten to love you with no conditions, no strings attached, no worries to hurry and grow up. I can love you with everything I have and not worry that either of us will ever need something more."

Breathing out shakily, Jungkook opens the little box and you see the ring he's kept with him for so long, your heart pounding frantically.

"All I want, all I need in this world is you, ____."

You cover your mouth with your hand so you can muffle the cries threatening to come out.

"It took long enough for us to get here, and I don't want to waste any more time. I want to always be with you, spend every waking moment making you smile, drying your tears, and battling whatever fears come your way. I want to give you the life you deserve."

A soft cry falls from your lips as you nod excitedly at the silent question in his pleading eyes.

He slips the ring on your finger carefully as his hands shake, a tear slipping from his eye when he sees that it fits perfectly.

Jungkook stands up and pulls you into a gentle kiss, then he pulls back and smiles softly, "I want to live for what I love."

Remember, only give this precious gift to the person you fall in love with. It has magical powers and you will be together forever if you give it to them! Don't laugh and just believe me, okay?

You'll be okay, Koo.

Tag list; @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @teresaisla @ggukkieland @scuzmunkie @jaebeomsblackgf @sugaslittlekookies @moon-asia @bangtannie7 @yoonchrisgull @njkbangtan @dlwrlmajaykay @higashikatasgf @sweetonkookieandtae @voidswan-recs @sadxaries @shadowmoon21 @jinfused @taehyungiev13 @gaeguuliii @kimnamjoonluvbot @jungkooook @mutterseelenalleinn @surilirani @patpus @yukiehyukie @crypticsabbat @ohyeahjk @steffiiirose @the-falling-star @telepathytae @erenkook-blog @rosiekoo @neverthefirstchoice @bubbless-world @yeow6n @purpleunicorn051 @canarystwin

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awkwardgtace · 1 year

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A Change Of Pace

So Originally I wasn't gonna do Kaijune cause I'm super busy for like the rest of the month. But an amazing friend asked me and I was like hmmm is there anything short I could do and wellllll here we are!

(for the record i do have kaiju ash planned for gt july :D )

A Change Of Pace

Daily life had grown monotonous. Wake up, go to work, go home, go to sleep. Repeat. You almost hoped for a change. It wasn’t likely to happen, but at least you weren’t alone. You lived in an apartment with a wall of windows facing the docks. A close friend, Chris, had been with you for years. It was nice to rarely come home to an empty apartment.

Tonight was one of those rare nights. The lights were off as you walked in. That meant they weren’t home. You could have used their warm smile today. Work had been stressful and they were always comforting.

Without their presence you walked through the dark room slowly. You grabbed the remote, turning on the TV so they would know you were there, then collapsed on the couch. Keeping your eyes closed you listened to the pointless commercials as you tried to relax. No matter how tired you were, it was always hard to sleep in the apartment when you knew you were alone.

“There was an accident at the docks today. So far no casualties were reported, but all the staff for the companies using it have been kept to clear up the mess.”

Well that told you where Chris was. A late night at work on the docks. It would probably mean you were alone all night. A siren blared from the place they must be. You curled up trying not to think about how late their night would go… or how silent the apartment would feel without them.

Rhythmic thumping sounded from the direction of the docks. A sound you could almost equate to footsteps. It had to be the fatigue hitting you. The thumping was too loud to be someone’s steps. Plus you lived on the top floor. You moved to lie on your side, curling into a tight ball. The sounds continued. A siren blaring, followed by a thump.

The noise only grew louder. Cars screeching from speeding turns. A crash and police sirens. Of course the night you were alone the noise would be the worst. The silence in your apartment was painful, even the muffled words of the news casters were no help. You bit back a groan as another screeching car drove by your old building.

Chris chose this place. They wanted you to be able to see them if they worked late. It wasn’t possible to do from here. It was too high and the nights too dark. The idea at least helped calm you on the nights you felt the worst without them. More thumps, faster than the siren took to blare again. It was closer to someone running. Probably some weird piece of equipment used at the docks.

The noise of the night continued. Cars speeding. Horns honking. Screeches from a rushed turn. Police sirens. The dock sirens. Thump, thump, thump, thump. The strangely rhythmic thumps were easing your tired body. The empty words of the news. A commercial for some product you would never need or want. Then a change that jolted you out of your trance. A new set of blaring alarms, one in your building the other from the TV.

“This is an emergency alert. Something has been spotted near the docks. It is hard to describe. Towering taller than most buildings. The steps have been felt throughout the city. A number of people have already begun to evacuate. Please, to avoid panic, remain in your homes. Do not turn on any lights and make sure to-”

The broadcast cut out. You opened your eyes to face the cloth back of your couch. The blaring alarms continued. The cars screeched. The thumps that were too close to footsteps sped up again. You couldn’t believe this was real. Any move you made to escape would be more likely to have you meet this thing. It had to be close if it cut the broadcast to your apartment.

A strange light entered your apartment. It terrified you. Despite your better judgment you rolled onto your feet. Nearby you could see a glowing eye near the window to your room, the place you would normally be. The pupil wasn’t visible to you yet. It was strange that in this whole time you hadn’t realized the thumping was growing closer. Although nothing in your place would give you a sign of that when you’re curled up in a ball on the couch.

The entire world shifted as that eye moved. The being’s light coated the room. A bright neon shade of green. You couldn’t bring yourself to move a muscle as the reptilian pupil dilated. It swept back and forth over your apartment. At this point your only hope was staying still would hide you. The pupil appeared to focus on you before sweeping the room again. A twitch towards you before it was gone. You released the breath you were holding, maybe you were safe.

The relief died as a clawed hand crashed through the glass. A scream left your throat as you started to run. There was glass everywhere, but the hand pulled back. You were shaking as the hand hovered outside your wall of windows. You watched the being shake their hand, the wind from it forcing you to back away. That reminded you that moving was an option.

You stumbled back, slowly gaining the strength to run. The hand stopped shaking and you turned on your heel. You could hear the crash as the hand moved again. You managed to start running, but it was too late. The clawed fingers surrounded you on each side. At least you hoped they were fingers. Fingers could mean it might understand words, it might not hurt you.

Despite that faint hope you kept running. The claws moved closer until the palm slammed into your back. You stumbled a few steps more. The clawed fingers curled around you, trapping you in a cage. They grew closer and closer until you were pressed against the palm of this creature. You struggled against the overwhelming strength.

The hand you were in started to move. You screamed, desperate to get free. The being ignored them if they heard any. If it acted like this cause it saw you, what did it do to Chris? They were working at the dock… They should still be there.

You were pulled out of your apartment. In the cold night air your struggles stopped. You knew how high your building was, you weren’t hoping to die. The light from the being’s eyes washed over you. It blinded you, making it impossible to see their face before they pressed you to their chest. The beat beneath was panicked, at least if the being was human. You almost felt bad for them.

That bit of pity disappeared almost immediately. The massive being started to walk away, taking you from your monotonous life. As much as you’d begun to hate it, you didn’t want to be taken from the only person that cared about you. The only person you cared about. Tears fell from your eyes as the entire world blew past you.

From the spot they held you, it was easy enough to see the destruction the creature caused. Footsteps of craters that made roads unusable. Crushed cars, cracked rooftops, but not a single building that had significant damage. In fact your apartment might be the only one that was in danger. As you neared the docks, the lack of damage changed.

The ships were crushed. The actual piers were ruined. People were crowded away from where the craters of footsteps were left. The hand pressing you against them shifted until your view was blocked. You wouldn’t be able to see Chris... Your friend... Your family.

The crash of their weight hitting the water terrified you. Their hold was gentle. It didn’t match the destruction each step left behind. You had no idea what would come next. The water was all you heard besides their heart. The pounding next to you started to relax. Calming enough to sound like a normal person’s heart.

As much as you hated it, the warmth and beating of their heart calmed you. It made your eyelids start to droop. It sort of reminded you of the times Chris helped you calm down. Letting you listen to their heartbeat until you fell asleep. Whenever you were at their worst, the anxiety a pain too immense. You hoped they’d be ok. That they would survive the visit of this creature.

The next thing you knew clawed fingers were pressing you against a rough palm again. You were pulled through the air and set down on an open palm. All you could do is stare up at the creature who took you. Eyes glowing with a neon green and looking at you with… concern. Now you could sort of make out their face; it was sort of familiar. That familiarity couldn’t be real.

“You ok?” they asked. Their voice was monstrous. A growl on top of a growl. Except you recognized the hint of a human voice in it. You had been positive that you’d never hear it again.

“I-is it really you, Chris?” you whispered. A nod of the massive head. They had a coating of scales instead of skin. Reptilian eyes staring down with a light that was far less harsh than before. Almost warm. “How… what’s going on? Why didn’t you tell me instead of grabbing me?”

“Heard talking. Hurt me. Hurt you. Had to act.” Chris’s words sounded wrong. As though it was a struggle to make the words come out. “Words… hard. Can’t… make…”

“It’s hard to talk?” They nodded. “But you heard someone talking?” Another nod. “And they were going to hurt us both?” Another nod. “But-but why?

A growl came from them instead of words. A loud thumping came from behind them. You tried to look around, they moved you in the direction you tilted your head. Chris had a tail now, a long tail that stretched dozens of feet behind them. That thumping might have been most of what you heard the night before.

“Is it… because of what did this to you?” you asked. They moved you back to their eyes and nodded. A stiff, strong nod. The wind from the movement pushed you back on their hand just a bit. “Then… then you can’t go back to normal?”

“Don’t… know,” they said. There was a sound of pain in their voice. You were all they had. They were all you had. Your lives were tied together.

“What happens next?” A bit of fear was stuck in your heart. Whoever wanted them dead wanted you dead. It had to be some big company that wanted it. You couldn’t go back to your monotonous daily life. Did you even want that? Especially without them? What if they didn’t want you to stay? What if… what if they were going to just put you somewhere and hope for the best? You’d be a burden on them now.

“Stay together?”

The growl on top of a growl sounded terrified. You could say no. They’d try to find a way to save you. It was clear that would happen. Even like this, when you’d be something they had to take care of, they wanted you to be there. You nodded. That was all they needed to pull you close into a hug. Their heart pounded deafeningly below their chest of scaled skin.

Together the two of you would survive this strange change of pace. Together you could face the world.

#gt #giant/tiny #giant tiny #g/t #g/t writing #gt writing #gianttiny #gt community #g/t community #kaijune #short self insert thing i thought of yesterday #please enjoy my random brain ramblings <3

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dont-be-late-to-the-dance · 6 months

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sneak peek at my Luis being sent to Rockfort AU!!

(note: I have never played the original CODE:Veronica, only the Darkside Chronicles retelling. I've seen discourse over how the characterization of the twins was changed, so FYI that DSC is the only version of the twins I'm familiar with.)

It's been a week since Luis was personally plucked from the rest of the inmates by Alfred. Alfred had noticed in the records that Luis was only 21 and supposedly a disloyal Umbrella scientist, and thought that there must have been a mistake and Luis was simply the son of another inmate. While child prodigies were a dime a dozen at Umbrella, they were nonexistent at Rockfort. It made sense; the grooming and brainwashing were effective enough that the only scientists who would want to betray Umbrella were the ones who were hired as adults. Adults, and Luis. He was scooped up off the streets and enrolled into an Umbrella boarding school when he was only 12, but evidently the brainwashing didn't seem to work.

Alfred was thrilled to hear that the information actually was correct. Something Luis found terrifying. Since then, he was kept separate from the other prisoners and treated better. He had a small bedroom to himself and was brought food. But he couldn't take any comfort in it, because Alfred also comes in just to talk to him everyday. Luis was no stranger to using his looks and silver tongue to get what he wants, but his attempt to charm Alfred had only irritated the man.

“Well, as you already know, I am Dr. Luis Serra Navarro. But no need for all of that. Someone like you, of course, can just call me Luis.”

“Someone like me?”

“Someone beautiful,” Did Luis want to flirt with Alfred? Hell no. He'd spent less than five minutes with him and his skin was already crawling. But turning up the charm on this guy seemed to be the only way he even had a chance to make it off this island alive. He needed a good angle though, not just generic romantic lines. He glanced around the room, until his eyes settled on a portrait of Alexia. Perfect, go for the sibling rivalry. “There's so much chatter about how beautiful your sister was, but nothing about you. A real shame, you're quite good looking yourself.”

“It isn't a shame! It's the way it should be. Alexia is perfect. She was the only one able to restore honor to our family. I exist to lurk in the shadows behind her, serving her however I can.”

He doesn't know what the hell Alfred wants from him. Sometimes he wishes Alfred would just hurry up and torture and/or kill him because it would probably be more unpleasant than having to politely interact with the man everyday.

“Admiring the view, Luis?”

The words startle Luis. Alfred was such a creep. Luis had just been looking out the window, at the almost castle like building in the distance, trying to escape his shit show of a life by daydreaming, just like he did as a little kid. He hadn't even heard Alfred come into the room.

“Yes, I am. That building over there… Reminds me of home.”

“I've gone through your records, and never could find exactly where you're from. It seems you've been holding out on me. You lived in a castle?”

“Yes,” Luis sure as shit isn't going to correct the assumption. From the way Alfred dressed, the things he talked about, the way the house was decorated… Luis had picked up that Alfred values bloodlines and nobility. Luis hates all that stuff, but he can pretend, play whatever part that will keep him alive. “I'm from a very small, very remote village in Spain. I was technically of noble birth, but…”

Luis is playing with fire here, but he has no choice but to continue. Besides, Alfred Ashford himself is fire. Any interaction could get him burned, whether he's lying or not. “In a small place like that, people have small minds, you know? Even nobles. When I took an interest in biology and considered going away to study, my family was outraged. They said if I left, I wouldn't be welcome back. I still chose to leave.”

“Do you have anything to prove your bloodline?”

“Well, I did. A ring. But of course when Umbrella arrested me, they took everything.”

“On that note, what did you do to get sent here?”

Luis wonders if it's a trick question. He wouldn't be surprised if the records given to Alfred were vague, simply stating that he had attempted to sabotage a project, but no details. But he also wouldn't be surprised if Alfred knew every detail, and wanted to test his honesty for some reason Luis isn't insane enough to comprehend. He decides to keep playing with fire and lie.

”I made some mistakes. I was starting to get a little homesick, wondered if leaving was truly worth it. With my mind so distracted, I started making mistakes in my work. I certainly deserved to be reprimanded for it, perhaps even fired, but someone started a rumor it was all on purpose, that I was intentionally sabotaging my own work! I tried to tell them it was all accidents, but no one believed me!”

There's a grain of truth. Luis had tried to tell them it was unintentional, and they didn't believe him. Of course, the reason they didn't believe it was because he was obviously full of shit and just desperately grasping at straws. It was an undeniable fact that Luis had intentionally sabotaged the Nemesis Project.

“Of course they didn't! Ever since my idiot of a father disgraced our family and let Spencer take charge of the company, it's been falling apart! But don't you worry, Luis. It's only a matter of time before my sister will right his wrongs, and retake the company. She'll recognize your value and assign you to something worthy of you.”

Then Alfred just leaves. Leaving behind so much for Luis to unpack. Luis should probably feel relieved, maybe even proud, that Alfred so readily bought all of his bullshit, but he definitely isn't. Luis knows a bit about Umbrella's history. Enough to know that Alexia Ashford, Alfred's sister, was dead. Not just dead, long dead. She died before Luis had even left Valdelobos. While there were rumors about Alfred's mental state, Luis had believed they were exaggerated. Not anymore.

Luis gets a rough awakening the next morning. A couple guards yank him out of bed. Then he's brought to a bathroom. It's surreal. They take his tracking collar off. He's told to shower and make himself look as presentable as possible. There's nice soaps and shampoos, even a razor so he can finally shave for the first time in weeks. There's also an outfit for him to put on after. It's… Surprisingly not horrible. Hell, it's something he might have willingly picked out himself.

But once he comes out of the bathroom, the guards tie his hands behind his back. Then they blindfold him. Alfred must have seen right through Luis's lies, and he was in for some cruel and unusual punishment related to it. Or maybe it would be a more basic punishment, but with something flashy to make it more unique. Like getting dressed up like a noble, only to be sent to the guillotine like hundreds of Rockfort inmates had before. He's brought to Alfred, who dismisses the guards before pressing something hard into his back to push him forward.

“Don't think that you can try anything just because the guards are gone. I have a rifle with me.”

They walk for quite a while, the end of the rifle at Luis's back the entire time. Finally Alfred stops, and takes the blindfold off of Luis. They're at the castle Luis had been looking at.

“Welcome to Rockfort's private residence. I had it built in preparation for when my dear Alexia comes back to me. Commoners aren't fit to be anywhere near her. You're a very privileged man, Luis. The only living soul, besides myself of course, to experience the privilege of walking through this palace. I intended to wait until her return to start inviting nobles to gather here, but since you happened to fall right into my lap, I decided it was necessary to hasten things.”

Some phrasing sticks out to Luis. The only living soul.

“But don't think you're in the clear and your life being spared is a guarantee,” And there it is. The catch Luis knew was coming. Alfred walks behind Luis as he speaks, and Luis feels a new collar slip on to him. He unties Luis's hands. “Your blood means that your presence isn't enough to contaminate this residence, but you still must prove you're worthy of Alexia's presence. Should you turn out to be a disappointment, I'll have no choice but to kill you. Until you prove yourself, you'll have to wear this. If you attempt to leave, for whatever foolish reason, I'll be alerted. But truly, I hope it doesn't have to come to that. I know chasing you would be fun, but I would love to have such a rare present to present to my dear Alexia.”

#yall should uhhh send asks about this au if you want i love it 👉👈#but it might take me a hundred years to have more of it ready to publish so like. I'll talk abt it in asks in the meantime #(the dynamic is just really difficult to write bc it's such a fine line making Alfred be a creepy weirdo but not in a romantic/sex way.#i REALLY DON'T WANT it to come acrose like im shipping them okay but there's moments that could seem like it)#there's leon stuff in the au eventually but won't put any tags for him on this #luis serra navarro #luis serra #alfred ashford #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil #re4 #darkside chronicles #need to decide on a tag for the AU ugh

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karlyboyyy · 1 year

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It's Been Three Days

Summary: What I'd like to imagine took place in the days following the events of episode 10 - lots of Kazuki sadness, Rei trying his best, hugs and tears, and talking about feelings. Because we haven't really seen much bonding between the two of them in the show! Fic tags: KazuRei, Angst/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Comfort Wordcount: 5.5k Also on AO3! << It's my first ever post on there :D

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It’s such an odd thing to realize just how quickly you get accustomed to the orchestra of background noises that fill your home on a daily basis. The video game jingle that plays on a loop and gradually speeds up when the player is nearing the end of the race. The soft *ka-tak ka-tak ka-tak* of a kitchen knife chopping vegetables on a wooden cutting board. The rhythmic humming of the washer and dryer, constantly running to keep up with the laundry that seemingly never ends. The half-broken toy that plays that awfully annoying song from that popular children’s television series and doesn’t have an off button. The sweet laughter of a young girl who loves spending the day with her papas...

It’s been three days. Three days since that bittersweet family outing and that final ride on the Ferris wheel. Three days without that familiar orchestra of noises. And man, is that silence deafening.

Rei assumed he’d be able to adjust to the quiet atmosphere pretty easily. “I’m used to this, after all”, he thought, having lived in lonely solitude for years before Kazuki came barreling into his life. But even after Kazuki made himself at home in Rei’s apartment, the two of them hardly spent any actual time together, unless it was related to their work. Kazuki would sometimes attempt to start a conversation as he cooked dinner while Rei played his video games in the living room. But he was lucky if he got more than a few words and the occasional “hm” out of Rei, who would normally have his headset on and couldn’t be bothered to pay much attention to his surroundings. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. The two of them got along well enough to consider each other friends, and they each trusted one another completely. In their line of work, trusting your partner was essential. So, they were work partners and roommates. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course, that all changed after Kazuki brought Miri home…

The morning after that ride on the Ferris wheel, Rei woke up before Kazuki. This was odd because Rei could count on one hand the number of times he’s been awake before Kazuki. But that day, he didn’t think too deeply about it. He knew that Kazuki was hurting and figured that leaving him alone to work through his emotions was probably the best thing to do. Besides, Rei had no idea how to comfort Kazuki in this situation and feared that he’d only make things worse if he did or said the wrong thing. So he made himself a bowl of cereal, sat down in front of the tv, and turned on some random program, leaving Kazuki to sleep in a little later.

The show Rei had landed on happened to be one he was familiar with, having watched it with Miri every Saturday morning. “Heh. I should record this for her to watch later.” As he grabbed the remote to set up the recording, the reality of the situation came crashing back toward him like a tidal wave. How could he forget so easily? Miri was gone. Knots began to form in Rei’s stomach and he could feel the onset of a migraine. After deciding to turn off the tv, he tossed the remote onto the couch cushion farthest away from him, pushed his barely eaten bowl of cereal toward the middle of the table, and abruptly plopped his whole body down onto the couch. Lying there, staring at the blank tv screen, he thought to himself, “this… sucks,” before drifting back to sleep. When he awoke several hours later, he noticed that no lights had been turned on, no food was cooking, no laundry was being done… there was nothing but silence. Kazuki hadn’t left his room.

The next morning was pretty much the same. Rei awoke to a quiet house, and the door leading to Kazuki’s bedroom remained closed. “Is he actually in his room, or did he go somewhere without telling me?” Rei wondered. “But if that’s the case, he would’ve left a note like last time… right?” Rei checked the front entry area and saw that Kazuki’s shoes and coat were still there in the exact same spot they’d been left the day before last. “Still home…” Once again, Rei made a bowl of cereal for himself but decided to eat at the dining table this time, hoping to avoid a repeat of the tv incident from the day before. After finishing his meal, he booted up his game console but quickly removed the Morio Kart disc that was inside and replaced it with one of his old shooter games. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn’t played these types of games since Miri started living with them, fearing that the blood and violence would be too much for her to witness. “But I guess Miri did have actual first-hand experience with not one, but two gun fights. Hell, she probably would’ve thought this game looked fun. Maybe I should’ve played it with her…”

Around lunch time, the silence in the room was broken by the sound of Kazuki’s bedroom door finally being opened. Rei whipped his head around so quickly he could have sworn he felt something in his neck pop. But it wasn’t quick enough, as Kazuki had already shut himself in the bathroom. Rei felt like a creep as he stared at the door handle, waiting for it to turn and for Kazuki to emerge from the bathroom. When he finally did, Rei’s voice cracked as he called out, “H-hey. You hungry? I can order a pizza.” Kazuki paused for a moment, but didn’t look up, his gaze locked downward. “No thanks. I’m good.” Before Rei could say anything back, Kazuki was already back in his bedroom closing the door behind him. Rei spent the rest of the afternoon and evening alone. One would think that having a day alone to yourself in a quiet home would be relaxing, especially when your daily routine was typically consumed by chaos. But that was a far cry from this reality. For Rei, the silence weighed on him like he was being pulled further and further under water. It was suffocating, to say the least. He also began to feel incredibly anxious, because he knew that he wanted to comfort Kazuki in some way, but had no idea how to go about it. “I feel totally worthless…”

It was now day three, and Rei had had enough. “I can’t go back to how things were before… I just can’t.” He decided to try his hand at tackling some of the chores around the house. He thought that it would be really pathetic of him to expect Kazuki to continue taking care of everything for him now that Miri was gone. Sure, he’d always done so in the past, but things were different now. Rei realized that Kazuki was only ever truly happy when he had a family to take care of. But now that there was no longer a “family” here, Rei knew deep down that there was a very good possibility of Kazuki leaving. Would it be next month? Next week? Tomorrow? The uncertainty frightened Rei, but he refused to become the same useless mess he’d once been. Well… he had enough determination in this very moment to at least do a load of freaking laundry. Baby steps were better than no steps, right?

So Rei started off his cleaning crusade by sorting through the pile of clothes on his bedroom floor and picking up any stray articles from the living room on his way to the washer. After tossing everything in and latching the door shut, he stood there for a moment staring at all the buttons and knobs. “Why are there so many??” Kazuki had, on several occasions, shown Rei how to operate the machine, pointing out the various features and wash cycles, and showing him exactly how to measure out the soap. But did Rei remember any of that? Absolutely not. But he figured he couldn’t screw it up too much as long as he stuck with the “regular” cycle and only used a little bit of soap. Once everything was set, he hesitantly reached for the Start button and gently pressed it in. The machine came alive with that familiar sloshing sound that he’d so desperately missed these last few days. He relaxed his shoulders, let out a sigh of relief, and smiled to himself. “Nice.”

Suddenly, the soft clack of a door being opened echoed from down the hall. Rei peeked his head around the corner to see if he could catch a glimpse of Kazuki. But alas, he had just missed him yet again. Rei then heard the shower turning on and thought that he really would be a creep if he were to stare at the bathroom door waiting for Kazuki to come back out, like he did yesterday. So instead, he headed toward the living room to start picking up all of his garbage.

**********

Kazuki felt numb.

It’s been three days, and yet that feeling refused to subside. Kazuki struggled to pinpoint exactly what emotion he was feeling about this whole situation. Was he mad? Maybe a little. But when it came down to it, he knew that both Kyu-chan and Misaki were right. Allowing a five-year-old child live with two hitmen was dangerous, and he couldn’t come up with a valid justification to argue otherwise. At least, not one that wouldn’t make him sound like a selfish asshole. Was he sad? Sure. But again, he knew that Miri was safer this way. So how could he truly be sad about the fact that she was safe? He couldn’t. In fact, if he were being rational about the whole thing, he thought he should actually feel quite relieved. “Yeah right… I’m too greedy for that,” he thought. So he wasn’t mad, or sad, or relieved. He was just… numb.

Kazuki knew that it was pathetic of him to hole up inside his bedroom, but he couldn’t help himself. Coming home that night to the sight of toys strewn across the living room floor, child-sized dishes piled in the sink, the basket of pink flowery clothes that needed to be washed… all of it was just so overwhelming. Kazuki couldn’t bring himself to look at any of it, so he ended up going straight to bed that night. Over the next couple of days, he only came out to use the toilet or to grab a quick snack so that he wouldn’t make himself sick. But otherwise, he stayed in bed staring off into space. He felt sort of bad for ignoring Rei, but he knew that Rei struggled with expressing his empathy. Because of that, Kazuki was afraid that he’d end up snapping at Rei for no real reason or accidentally saying something hurtful that he didn’t really mean, knowing damn well that Rei wouldn’t know how to react and would most likely take it personally. So in order to avoid that tension all together, Kazuki chose to avoid Rei for the time being. “I hope he’s at least eating something other than cereal…”

By day three, Kazuki was starting to get sore from lying in bed for so long. “I should probably shower.” On his way to the bathroom, Kazuki could have sworn he heard the washer running. “But there’s no way… I’m not even sure Rei knows how to use the damn thing, even though I’ve shown him a million times.” Kazuki let out a soft chuckle as he turned the knob in the shower all the way to the right. There was a brief squeaking noise before the water started raining down from the shower head, and steam began to gradually build up in the enclosed space. Kazuki started to undress, removing the wrinkled clothes that he’d been wearing for three days straight. He glanced at the reflection of his naked body in the mirror, flinching at the sight. It was obvious that he hadn’t eaten a proper meal nor had he gotten any decent sleep in these last few days. He had dark circles under his puffy eyes, his hair was a greasy mess, and his face looked pale and ashen like a ghost. He was honestly quite grossed out by the state he was in, and felt sort of relieved that Rei hadn’t seen him earlier. After stepping into the shower and under the hot water, Kazuki felt his muscles immediately relax. He stood there unmoving for god knows how long, just letting the water pour over the top of his head and down his face.

Out of nowhere, Kazuki heard what sounded like a gentle knock, followed by silence. He wasn’t sure if he was hearing things or not, so he waited for a moment to see if another knock would come. Instead, he heard the *click* of the door being opened. “…Kazuki? Are you okay? You’ve been in here for a while…” Rei was so quiet that Kazuki could barely hear him over the running water. He pulled back the shower curtain slightly and poked his head out, ready to teasingly chastise Rei for coming into the bathroom while someone was in the shower. But the sight before him almost sent him into a fit of laughter. Rei had his head peeking around the door into the bathroom, but his eyes were tightly shut, scrunching his face. Kazuki thought it was actually quite adorable. “Yeah. I’ll be out in just a few minutes, alright?” he said, with a slight smile on his face that Rei couldn’t see. “Ah, okay then,” Rei said, as he quickly shut the door. Pffft! Kazuki didn’t realize in that moment, but that numb feeling was finally starting to ease, if ever so slightly.

**********

Kazuki walked out of the bathroom to find Rei vacuuming. Rei. Vacuuming. WHAT?! Kazuki was so stunned he nearly dropped the towel that he was rubbing his hair with. He stood there in awe, taking a look around the entire room. Not only was Rei vacuuming, but it looked like he did the dishes and picked up around house as well. “Ha! Maybe I really did hear the washer running this morning!” Rei hadn’t heard the bathroom door open, so when he finally noticed Kazuki standing next to the couch staring at him, he flinched and scrambled to find the power button on the vacuum. “H-hey! You’re out! You hungry? I’ve made something to eat if you’d like some.” Although he still spoke in his low, nearly monotone voice, Rei appeared to be a bit more flustered than Kazuki had ever remembered seeing him before. “Oh yeah? What’d’ya make?” Kazuki was impressed. Rei cleaned and cooked?? “Um… it’s just porridge. I found an easy recipe online. You haven’t eaten these past few days, so I thought maybe your stomach was upset. I figured porridge would be easiest to eat.” Rei felt a little embarrassed to be offering his measly porridge to a guy who practically lives in the kitchen. And let’s be honest, Kazuki doesn’t exactly hold any punches when it comes to critiquing food, so Rei’s worry was justified. Kazuki could tell Rei was nervous, and again had to hold back his laughter. “Why is he being so cute right now? It’s hilarious, but I can’t tease him too much or else he’d probably curl up in a ball and shut down.” Kazuki pulled out a chair at the dining table, sat down, and looked up at Rei with a grin. “I’d love some. Please and thank you!”

And so the two of them sat at the table, quietly eating the porridge that Rei made. Rei cleared his throat, having already decided that he’d had enough of the eerie silence that had been suffocating him over the past three days. “Hey… do you wanna hang out today? Like, together? We don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to. It’s just been really… boring.” Although Rei was definitely trying his best to communicate more with Kazuki, he wasn’t exactly ready to say that he felt lonely and anxious by himself. So he decided to play it off as boredom. Kazuki glanced up at Rei, and to his surprise, Rei was looking right back at him, their eyes locked together. “…Sure. Is there something in particular you wanna do?” Rei hesitated for a moment. Honestly, he wasn’t expecting Kazuki to say yes, and hadn’t really thought this far ahead. “Um… well, we can watch some movies. I guess? Oh but first, we should dry your hair. It’s still wet, and you’ll catch a cold. I’ll dry it for you, if you want.”

“Okay… who the hell is this person and what have they done with Rei?! It’s like the onigiri incident all over again…”

“Ah-haha, it’s okay. It’ll dry on its own. And it’s warm enough in here that I won’t get sick.” Kazuki was truly beside himself. He knew that Rei had started to step up more to take care of Miri. But he couldn’t think of any time before when Rei had offered to take care of him.

“Dude, just let me dry it. I used to do it all the time for Mi- uh… I mean. Well it’s not like you haven’t done the same for me before, so just shut up and let me do it, okay?” Rei scratched his head, annoyed with himself for almost bringing up Miri. He told himself just this morning that he would avoid saying her name in front of Kazuki at all costs, not wanting to upset him. But Kazuki wasn’t upset and could see how frustrated Rei looked. “Okay then. You can dry my hair.”

Rei sat on the couch, his legs far enough apart for Kazuki to sit on the floor between his feet. Kazuki held his knees close to his chest, his chin resting on top of them. The loud whirring of the hair dryer filled the air around them, as Rei ran his fingers through Kazuki’s soft hair. “Fluffy…” Rei absolutely kept that thought to himself, and could feel his cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“I can’t even remember the last time someone’s dried my hair. Maybe when Yuzuko and I first started dating?” Kazuki thought back on the memories of all those years ago and smiled. “But man, this does feel nice. And he’s being so gentle, it almost tickles. And this warmth… I could fall asleep.” A few moments later, the loud whirring ceased and Kazuki jolted in place, having truly almost fallen asleep. “All done,” Rei said in a soft voice. “Aw man, already? That was so relaxing!” Although Kazuki was only teasing, the words were true, nonetheless. “Um… I can brush your hair now, if you’d like? I don’t mind.” Although his words were nonchalant, Rei looked almost excited. And who was Kazuki to say no to that? “Okay.” Rei got up to find a hairbrush and returned in a flash to continue playing with Kazuki’s hair.

After a while, Kazuki was the first to break the silence. “Ya know, I really thought the three of us would be together forever.” He let out a soft chuckle before continuing. “How silly is that?” Rei paused for a moment, surprised by the topic of conversation. He didn’t think Kazuki was ready to talk about this yet. Before Kazuki could notice that his hands had stopped moving, Rei started running the brush through Kazuki’s hair once more.

“Like, I actually thought, ‘Hey! This is my second chance! I can build a life with these two, and we can be a real family. We can be happy.’ Why did I get my hopes up? I should’ve known this would all end eventually. I mean come on. Look at us. Two hitmen raising a child together? That’s some shit straight out of a manga. It could never actually work in the long run.” Kazuki closed his eyes and held his hand over his face, gently rubbing the furrowed skin between his eyebrows.

Rei was thankful that he was sitting behind Kazuki, and that Kazuki was unable to see his face in that moment. Because he could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and could only imagine what sort of twisted expression his face was in.

“Hey, Kazuki?”

“Hm?”

“Are you… going to leave?”

“Leave? What do ya mean? Where’m I going?” Kazuki realized he sounded slightly exasperated and hoped that Rei didn’t pick up on it.

“I know… I know that you want a family. And now that Miri… now that it’s just the two of us, we aren’t really a family anymore, are we? So are you going to leave now?”

Kazuki could hear the slight hitch in Rei’s voice, and quickly turned around to face him. Rei’s eyebrows were contorted and his cheeks were flushed red. And his bottom lip trembled.

Kazuki panicked. “What?? What are you talking about? Why would I leave?”

“Because it’s not safe for you either! The organization… they’ve already made it very clear.”

“But that was just about Miri, right? It was about our work getting sloppy, yeah? But she’s safe with Misaki now. And we’ll just go back to how things used to be.” As much as it pained him to admit, Kazuki knew that the words coming out of his mouth were true.

“No! It wasn’t just about Miri… it’s more than that.” Rei paused and closed his eyes for a moment, attempting to level his breathing. He then looked directly at Kazuki with glistening eyes and spoke more softly. “Don’t you get it? I’m a Suwa. I’m expected to continue the Suwa family line, and to take over the family business. But I…” Rei closed his eyes again and shook his head. “I don’t want to! I don’t want to…” Rei could feel the hot tears welling up in his eyes and failed to keep them from breaking through.

“Then what do you want?” Kazuki said in a soft, low voice. He could tell that Rei was terrified and could feel the adrenaline coursing through his own veins, causing his hands to shake. The only word he could think of to describe this feeling was protective. It was almost as if he was prepared to single-handedly take down anyone and everyone who had caused the man in front of him to break down in tears. Because anyone who was able to cause this normally emotionless man this much pain… deserved to suffer.

“I just… I just want our family back. But I know that’s not possible right now, and it may never be possible again, no matter how much I miss Miri. And god, I miss her so much… But above all, I want her to be safe. So I know that she needs to stay with Misaki. And I also know that you’d be safer, too, if you left… if you got as far away from me as possible. But Kazuki… I can’t. I can’t lose you, too.” By now, Rei was no longer able to hold back the flood of tears rolling down his cheeks, and his breaths were coming in short, shallow bursts.

In the blink of an eye, Kazuki had gotten up, positioned himself next to Rei on the couch, and pulled him into his arms, holding him close to his chest. Kazuki’s left hand cradled the back of Rei’s head, while his right hand gently stroked the space between his shoulder blades.

“Rei. Listen to me. I’m not leaving you. I will never leave you. You hear me? We ARE a family. Even if it’s just you and me. We can still be a family. Alright? So stop crying. Please, stop crying.” Kazuki tried with all his might to comfort Rei, but could feel that he himself was on the verge of breaking down.

“But… you deserve a real family, Kazuki. You deserve to be with someone you love. You deserve to be a papa. Because you’re such a good papa…” Rei buried his face in the crook of Kazuki’s neck, attempting to stifle the constant sniffling. He desperately grasped at Kazuki’s shirt, pulling it back so much that it was nearly choking Kazuki. But Kazuki didn’t say anything nor did he stop Rei.

“Rei, you deserve those things, too. You also deserve to be with someone you love. You deserve happiness.”

“But I AM with someone…!” Rei let the sentence trail off, surprised by the words that he’d nearly blurted out, and paused to catch his breath. “I was happy with our family. And I’m happy with you. I’d never known that feeling before, until I met you. And having Miri with us… made it so much more obvious. So I know I’m being selfish by asking you to stay with me. But I don’t want to give up any more of my happiness. I don’t want to go back to how things were before. I can’t go back. So Kazuki, please… I’ll try harder, I promise. I’ll clean more and I’ll learn how to cook and I won’t complain as much. And I’ll protect you. I’ll do anything to protect you. So please…” At this point Rei was sobbing so much that he began to ramble and his words were somewhat difficult to understand. But Kazuki continued to hold Rei in a tight embrace, gently stroking his hair to try and calm him down.

“Hey shhhh, I already said I’m staying, didn’t I? So try to calm down, okay? I’m not going anywhere. And hey, you did so good today with the chores! I was so impressed. And your porridge was delicious. Make it for me again sometime, will ya?”

Rei nodded, his face still pressed against Kazuki’s collar bone. “Yeah, okay.”

Kazuki slowly pulled away from Rei, holding both of his hands in his own between the two of them. “Have you calmed down a bit?” Rei nodded without saying anything. The tears finally stopped, but his face looked a mess. Kazuki reached his right hand up to gently rub Rei’s cheek. “Good. Ya know, I must say… you’ve been acting awfully cute today. I’m not used to it,” Kazuki said, letting out a small sigh of relief mixed with a faint laugh.

“Shut up!” Although he had meant to sound forceful with his words, Rei instead sounded like a whiny teenage girl, which made him feel even more embarrassed and caused a fresh wave of blood to rush back up to his cheeks. He then realized that his face probably looked absolutely ridiculous after his meltdown and attempted to wipe his eyes and turn his head away so that he was no longer facing Kazuki.

But Kazuki only found this to be even more endearing, and immediately guided Rei’s face back to where he could see it more clearly. He then positioned his hand so that he cupped Rei’s chin in his palm, with his cheeks squished between Kazuki’s thumb and four fingers. “Heheh fish lips.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the sight and at the fact that Rei was even letting him mess with his face like this in the first place. Truly, he was not used to this side of Rei. But he was enjoying himself.

Kazuki’s laughter eventually trailed off, but he kept Rei’s face cupped in his hand, lightly squeezing his cheeks. Then the expression on his face softened as he continued to stare at Rei’s puckered mouth. After what was probably only thirty seconds, but felt like hours, Kazuki locked eyes with Rei. “Hw-hwat?” Rei stuttered, unable to enunciate due to the squished cheeks. He wondered how long Kazuki was going to hold his face like this and why he just kept staring. If he was being honest, he was starting to feel a bit uneasy. Rei had never really had anyone look at his face for this long or this closely before. He felt almost naked.

“Rei. Have you ever kissed anyone?” Kazuki maintained eye contact after asking the question, so he was able to see the exact moment the pupils in Rei’s deep blue eyes constricted to half their size.

“HUH??! What kind of question is that??” Rei flailed, yanking his face away and batting Kazuki’s hand down. “Seriously, what the hell??”, he thought to himself.

“Aww, come on. I’m just curious! You’re acting so adorable today, and I wondered if anyone else has ever seen you like this.” Kazuki already knew that Rei had probably never been in a real relationship before, so the words he spoke were only a joke. Still, he found himself slightly annoyed at the thought of someone else experiencing this side of Rei, but decided to keep that thought to himself.

“Why should I even tell you?” Rei continued to swat Kazuki away, but Kazuki was relentless.

“Hehe so I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”

“Ugh! Why do you even care??”

Quicker than Rei could stop him, Kazuki grabbed Rei’s face again, this time sandwiched between both of his hands. “Because. I do care. I care about you. And if we’re going to be a family, I want to know everything about you.”

Rei stopped resisting, and just stared back at Kazuki. “He looks so serious now…”

Kazuki’s gaze lowered slightly, and Rei realized just where he was looking. His mouth. Rei then noticed that Kazuki was slowly leaning closer toward him. “He’s not… ACTUALLY going to kiss me, is he?!” Rei didn’t know how to react, so all he could think to do was close his eyes and brace for impact.

Kazuki paused in his tracks and smiled to himself. Rei had his eyes tightly shut, reminding him of earlier that day in the bathroom. “He’s so funny.” Kazuki continued leaning in, closing his eyes and gently kissing Rei on the forehead.

Rei’s eyes shot open in surprise. A forehead kiss was NOT what he was anticipating, and he felt a little ashamed for expecting something different. But that feeling of shame melted away the moment he met Kazuki’s gaze once more and saw the slight shade of pink on the apples of his cheeks as he smiled a goofy grin. Rei couldn’t help but smile back and let out a soft, breathy laugh.

Kazuki carefully pulled his hands away from Rei’s face and stretched out his arms, taking a deep breath and letting out a loud sigh. “Haaaaahhh! So. Should we watch a movie now? Was there one you wanted to watch?” Kazuki leaned back into the couch, but not before pulling Rei to his side and wrapping his arm around him, his hand on Rei’s bicep. In this position, Rei was able to rest his head on Kazuki’s chest just under his arm, but he wasn’t sure where to put his hands. One arm was stuck behind Kazuki against the back cushion, so he didn’t really have a choice there. But the other was left out in front, hovering over Kazuki’s lower stomach. Rei hesitated for a moment, but finally thought, “Screw it,” and set his arm down so that it lay across Kazuki’s waist. After receiving no complaint from Kazuki about where his hand fell, Rei tightened his grip on Kazuki’s side ever so slightly and nestled even further into place. “He’s warm,” he thought. “This is nice…”

“Any movie is fine. Whatever you wanna watch.” Rei honestly didn’t care about the movie. He was just happy to be spending time with Kazuki. Happy to be pulled out of the suffocating silence.

“Hey, Rei?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry for avoiding you these last couple of days. It was nothing against you. So I hope you didn’t get too lonely.”

“…I was lonely. But it’s okay. I understood what you were feeling.”

“I might get like that again… I mean, I’m feeling a little better now. But it comes in waves. Ya know?”

“Yeah… I get it.”

“Then will you cuddle with me to make me feel better?” Kazuki said playfully.

“Yes.”

Kazuki only said that to tease Rei, so he wasn’t expecting him to respond so quickly or so matter-of-factly. But he found that Rei’s response made him insanely giddy. Kazuki tightened his hold on Rei, pulling him in even closer. “Good. That makes me happy.”

“…” Rei didn’t know how to respond, but knew that he, too, felt happy in that moment.

It’s been three days. And there was no telling how many more it would take before things finally started to feel normal again. Or maybe things would never feel normal again. Maybe there was a hell storm coming their way that they weren’t at all prepared for. These were all possibilities that they had to consider. But as they sat there embracing each other’s warmth, Kazuki and Rei both knew that they’d be okay, as long as they were together. If one was suffering, the other would be there to help pick up the pieces. If one was happy, the other would be there to celebrate in their joy. After all, isn’t that just what a family is?

#I did it guys #I wrote an actual fic! Woo!#kazurei #kazuki x rei #kurusu kazuki #suwa rei #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #buddy daddies #buddy daddies fanfic #ao3 fanfic #angst with comfort #emotional hurt/comfort #I hope I'm using these fic tags correctly lmaooo

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