#xen talks shit

[xen-xa]

Just finished watching the Matilda Musical. Very fun musical, cried a few times too. I'm gonna have "we are revolting children" stuck in my head for a while loo

#xen talks shit #matilda musical

[internetskiff]

The most powerful ability exclusive to humanity in the Half Life/Portal shared universe is our ability to just throw bullshit at the wall and see what sticks. Aperture "OSHA are the devil" Science have managed to create completely safe interconnected points in space. The same company that turns people's blood into gasoline and shoves lions and humans into the same enclosed space for the vague concept of "Science". Meanwhile Black Mesa still has to use Xen as a crossing and their teleportation device requires an entire reactor with a village's worth of staff constantly maintaining it, just to end up having most of said staff abducted by onion-headed aliens. Even the resistance hasn't managed to create completely stable teleporters with a compressed Xen relay, meanwhile Aperture just went "oh dude let's shove a black hole into a non-waterproof gun" and have just created a teleportation method that just removes Xen from the equation entirely. Doesn't change the fact they bullshat so bad they basically got themselves gassed to death, but still.

The Resistance are a good example of this too. The Combine seem to have a complete set-in-stone thought process and understanding of science which meant they didn't even begin to explore local teleportation via Xen, meanwhile a group of random human mechanics and scientists have managed to cobble together at least two semi-functional local teleporters out of scrap metal and stolen Combine tech, to the point the All-Consuming Interdimensional Empire had to straight up copy their homework. And that isn't even the only time they seem to be taking human shit to just copy the blueprints.

They 100% just yoinked the entire damn car out of that garage just to take a crack at reverse-engineering the Tau Cannon attached to it. Even Resistance weaponry somehow manages to rival or at least stand equal to Combine tech - and we're talking improvised crossbows that shoot superheated rods of rebar at the target compared to high-tech rifles that can discharge orbs of pure dark energy. The collapse of the entire Citadel is basically set into motion as a result of a cobbled together Rebel device placed into extremely capable hands.

The events of the Portal games are a case of extremely elaborate machinelike planning versus pure human improvisation, with Chell's entire escape in the first game involving her simply weaseling her way through small cracks that GLaDOS missed while setting up her ambushes, eventually turning her own rocket turret against her to destroy her.

I suppose you could argue this falls flat in Portal 2 with Wheatley, but it's important to remember he's designed to be an utter idiot, so it's safe to say he wouldn't obsess over the larger picture like GLaDOS to the point where he fails to see the cracks. Yes, he's the one that breaks Chell out of the test chambers again, and yes, he's the one that came up with the sabotage plot - but it's important to note while he knows what to target in the sabotage, when we actually get there he doesn't quite know how to sabotage it, leaving Chell to figure it out on her own. She botches the Turret Quality Control Line with some minor guidance, but it's basically completely up to her to figure out how to cut off the Neurotoxin Supply. It's through her improvisation that Wheatley even manages to get into GLaDOS' chamber, tumbling through her neurotoxin vent and shattering the glass cage she trapped Chell inside of. It's through Chell's improvisation that the Core Transfer even occurs in the first place.

The script is flipped specifically when Wheatley takes charge, because oops - turns out a mind capable of focusing on the bigger picture might be pretty important when it comes to running an entire facility powered by it's own Reactor. Wheatley just completely zeroes in on his own personal pleasure, hacking up test chambers and the objects within them to try and figure out the easiest way to get his solution euphoria as quick as possible.

Still, something that's pretty interesting is that only Wheatley has ever managed to create a trap that's impossible to foresee and avoid, something GLaDOS has repeatedly failed to do to the point she ends up commending him. I believe this is because his way of thinking is a lot closer to Chell's compared to GLaDOS'. He puts up way more of a fight as the two run through the facility trying to get to him, seemingly improvising on the spot just like Chell has been over the course of the two games. Even his lair would be impossible to survive if it weren't for a single Conversion Gel pipe he somehow failed to notice and remove.

Whether in a laboratory deep beneath the soil or an alien tower tall enough to split the clouds, the ingenuity of even a single person is enough to topple a tower or destroy a supercomputer 3 times over.

Marc Laidlaw put what I'm trying to say into a single sentence when writing for the BreenGrub twitter account:

"The superstructure is riddled with cracks."

#portal #portal 2 #half life #half life 2 #hl #hl2 #aperture science #black mesa #the combine #GLaDOS #Wheatley #Chell #rambling #i think this is what happens when you've been having thoughts about a game franchise like . since birth

[thereal-true-ogilvie]

hello everyone welcome to i talk about benrey for a minute here

as someone who’s watched the entirety of hlvrai at least 6 times, the full vods at least 3, and the cast commentary hovering somewhere around 10, i consider myself to be pretty well-versed in the series. i also kin benrey. this is probably important to my perception of him.

the series is about self-aware AI.   its in the title! so it seems obvious enough to me that Benrey was programmed to be the final boss. he was SUPPOSED to be a silly character that antagonizes the protag and throws off the group dynamic, and then it’s a big reveal and you get to beat up this guy that was mean to you!

but he doesnt wanna. hes self aware.

Of all the characters, i think Bubby and Tommy are the most “powerful” in that they were able to break their characters the most. Tommy is a bit of a wild card because he doesn’t usually act like an AI. I view him as the “character you’re supposed to protect” in the party, but somewhere along the way he, too, became self-aware and figured out how to handle his own. I think that’s where the age thing comes in. He was programmed to be a 5-year-old that you’re trying to get out of this dangerous facility! but he didn’t want to be a 5-year-old, he’s smarter than that, he’s capable! so he changed it. Him being the son of Gman also probably helped with him being able to just do that.

I take Bubby and Dr. Coomer as both being tutorial characters. Dr. Coomer is a bit broken, but he still does his best to teach you about things. I think he’s the tutorial NPC that goes “watch out for [x]” and “we can use ropes to cross big pits!” and “we should call them Peeper Puppies!” while Bubby was supposed to be the “here’s how you shoot a gun”

Like, Dr. Coomer does the knowledge about the world, and Bubby does the action. for the video game. And Bubby is supposed to be kinda cold to you, because the action-tutorial NPCs tend to be. Like “what you cant even hold your own? tch, guess ill have to teach you.” But Bubby doesn’t do that. He doesn’t WANT to play the game, he wants to go back home. He liked it before the game was switched on. So he doesn’t teach Gordon shit and just tries to speedrun so the player will leave and he can go back home.

one little scene that stood out to me so much was when the crew is sitting around in a circle with the pigeons. not outside, the other scene with them sitting in a circle and there’s pigeons. why are there 2 of those.

anyways, Benrey is just staring at this pigeon behind Gordon, and singing to it, calmly. And then there’s a loud beep that sounds like the vox, and definitely doesnt come from Benrey. and he suddenly gets up and shoots the pigeon. That reads SO HARD like he was being too soft with the game world, so it pushed him to do something evil randomly. Like a little villain reboot.

Almost everything he does to antagonize Gordon can be read as genuine confusion. He kills random NPCs because he knows theyre not important, and that they can’t feel anything, and that they’ll only slow the team’s progress. And what makes Gordon so mad at him is how often Benrey says Gordon shouldnt be allowed in here. I take that as a similar stance to Bubby. Benrey doesn’t want to be the villain. He doesn’t want the player to progress and make him. That gets more obvious the closer we get to the end, and most people tend to notice it in the last scenes before Xen, where he’s suggesting they go all the way back, and basically begging the player to stop here, at least for a little while.

its really sad, honestly. but i take the cast commentary bits as canon. Which makes it adorable when Benrey comes back into the movie theatre with Gordon and we get

“I wonder what will happen. I bet you know what happens!”

“I win!!!”

He did win. He got to get past being the final boss. He got to join the epilogue. I think, he probably wasn’t supposed to be able to. But these guys broke the game enough that he could. Isn’t that sweet? Isn’t that a nice ending for him? I think he deserves it.

Wayne says he acts like “he isn’t aware unless he’s being spoken to” and I think that fits really well. Like, sometimes his actions are coded into his behavior, so he does them without realizing. And then the player interacting with him (which is the premise of the self-awareness) forces him to actually look at what he did, and sometimes he has no idea how to explain it. Leading to his “huh?”

listen to me. are you listening. i need you to hear this. i need more people to understand benrey. and how much i love him. hes trapped in the narrative, doomed by it to be the villain. but he doesn’t want to be. he clearly cares about the crew in his own silly goofy way. he doesn’t want to fight them. i wrote down everything he said in the finale, and he only says 5 outright malicious lines, all of which are directly after an unnatural pause, like he’s being rebooted again. Some important lines: “I knew this was gonna happen,”

“Stop shooting at me, I have to shoot back, I don’t wanna do that,”

“I didn’t have a big plan, I was supposed to be nice, but you forced me to be BAD so I’m gonna be BAD… friend.” the small, quiet “friend” there gets me every time. even after everything, even after his nature is revealed, he wants to believe theyre still friends.

“Don’t go in there, please… I don’t like that room." The amount of times he sounds so genuinely sad when asking them to stop, or even just saying “bro..” like he’s mourning the friendship they could’ve had. The amount of times he sounds genuinely pained when he’s glitching out and stretching across the screen.

And his last words, said childishly of course, but,

“This isn’t fair.”

#god i love character analysis #benrey #hlvrai #dr coomer #bubby #tommy coolatta

[lowkeyanunreliablenarrator]

When I'd try to count all the simple feelings

I'd find I forgot even the warmth you shared with me

Bye-bye, and we'll never meet again...

Or maybe that's just the feeling I get

That's just what I thought, I can't smile wide

I'm stuck, there's nothing I can do.

Donut Hole by Kenshi Yonezu

----

gonna be making some art pieces based off songs with vague frenrey vibes... october theme thingy. did one a day early just cuz.

inspired by the scene where benry is talking about memories of them being Best Friends, and Gordon telling him he's forging those memories. also, the idea that after Xen, post-canon, Benry being killed might impact his memories... or the idea that he never comes back at all

also yeah the quality is shit. suck my dick

#hlvrai #gordon freeman #my art #frenrey #benry #hlvrai gordon

[haruhar-u]

I’m not good at typing long messages as a lot of people here so I’m gonna try to keep this short but thank you guys for being there for me :).

thank you guys for talking me out of dark shit so I’d actually live to see 2024.

Before I joined Tumblr I was quite lonely with irls that I felt could barely contend with my chattering but on here I felt I could chatter all I wanted without worry. So thanks for the safe space :D. I never thought I’d be able to make online friends but here I am I guess :)

Thank you for motivating me to start writing fic, to start writing my novel again, to develop my ocs some more. Before I joined I was on a 4-5 month slump with no writing at all due to a lack of motivation.

thank you guys for introducing me to a lot of games I now really enjoy and probably wouldn’t have found without you guys. Such as the Arcana and the Ikemen games (if it wasn’t for Tumblr my irls probably wouldn’t have convinced me to play lmao).

Honestly Tumblr has changed me for the better. I love you guys /p. I may not be close to my actual family but you guys have became like a family to me. I’ve finally found a place I belong I suppose.

happy new year everyone. I hope we can be friends for many years to come :D

@xen-blank @edith-is-a-cat @dove-da-birb @azulashengrottospiano @vivislosingitagain @whspermy-name @cheezy-moon @ameleii @rosehxnt @ithseem @twistwonderlanddevotee @krenenbaker @thekitchenywitch @supergigabigboybabechad @angelhairpastawithherbs @averagetoyakinnie @underly-niche-joy @keii-starz @v-anrouge @i-like-forgs @cave-of-jade @distant-velleity (tried to tag all my moots I’m sorry if I missed someone)

#haru rambles

[3xen]

xen, i saw that your requests are open so i don’t want to miss the chance! can i ask for an ace x reader? and if you need some background info, here: maybe this could be a sort of au where reader and the others manage to save ace (but they still nearly died) and now in the present they both are on the moby dick, maybe talking about how much they love each other and some angst about reader fearing to lose him again.

sorry if it’s too long, i just love him too much and to see him in your writings>>>> it’s up to you if you want to do it, thank you! have a great day. <3

lovers’ pledge; p. a the entirety of his heroic actions were honorable—but you refused to let him go so easily.

n. bro ale, i had such a similar concept in mind as to this one. u literally manifested this shit omg. anyway, hope you enjoyed this mess! <3

c. angst, established relationship, mention of shanks, ooc(?) angst w/o comfort(?)

the destruction inflicted on marineford undoubtedly required a crude amount of expenses. it was a hectic battle that consisted of diabolical and unmerciful acts.

each party suffered their own damages, inside and out. fortunately, the red-haired pirate; shanks, had stopped the warfare from any further destruction. you were convinced those hours of bloodshed would result in days of nonstop combat if continued.

suffice to say, such savage acts nearly risked ace’s life. he was at death’s door, confined against his will. two blades being the major points to put this scheme into play.

you were beyond troubled at those thoughts. the mere presence of ace was going to be cut off from all of life, as one.

you couldn’t even imagine having to bare the death of your boyfriend. you didn’t want to. tormenting yourself into living a world without ace, would be considered an immoral act.

as of now, you two relax near the deck of moby dick in a hospitable silence. the horizon touching delicately at the ground below. the mix of each color complimenting the sky wonderfully.

“im, so glad that i met you.” you perk up, interrupting the restful silence. your tone, oh so desperate. it felt like your final confession—that you truly wanted to get this through his insensible perspective.

his eyes averted from the horizon and directly into your eyes.“_____, please. im here, i can see you.” his voice asserts, presumably making an effort to relieve the unease in your heart.

you ignored his pleas and continued to mindlessly ramble. “and, i just.. don’t wanna be alone.” though your voice hadn’t embodied a physical form, it teared through his chest and at his heart. he acknowledged that you sorrowfully sought out reassurance from him.

“i see you.” a tremor of anguish surged through your body. “focus on me.” your eyes blink on cue, gaining a better image of him.

a deep sigh escapes your lips. “i was afraid.” a doleful frown settles on your face. his eyebrows rose and his bandaged hand cupped your cheek. all he could seem to see from your eyes was a longing fear; something that wouldn’t leave so easy.

“i know.” his gaze lowered to his feet. “im sorry.” he lifts his head, his expression reading of true resentment.

“i know you’re hurt.” his pupils frantically try to find a sense of discomfort in your eyes. he knows some things should be left unspoken—he won’t pry, but he knows that whatever happened, was traumatic in your eyes.

“you can’t leave me ace.” you plead. “i love you.” and as if it hasn't been said plenty of times before—his heart shatters. he blinks back tears, no doubt—feeling as lousy as you did.

“i love you too.” he answers back almost instantly. he definitely accepts the guilt and regret that comes with this proposal—it was the least he could do.

“i wanna be yours forever.” it was a dangerous proposition. but it didn’t matter to the both of you—it only pledged loyalty. something that would certainly never perish.

© 3xen

#𓂃ᰔ xen writes #one piece #op #one piece x reader #op x reader #portgas ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #ace x reader #portgas d ace

[prinnamon]

[Start ID. Tags that read: #one of them is confirmed dead btw #shephard saw colettes body in xen #who knows what gina is doing #i think abt them sometimes #raging lesbians. End ID.]

HI HELLO and welcome to my twisted mind! I DON'T MEAN TO CORRECT YOU @freeshephoun but i noticed your tags on my other silly half-wife post and i wanted to let you know HAHAHAHEEHOO IT'S WORSE THAN THAT! i hope you don't mind me using you as an excuse to talk at length about cross and green and their ambiguous fate

(low-poly blood/corpse screenshots from the game and lots of text under the read more!)

[Start ID. A screenshot of what appears to be Gina Cross in a red HEV suit dead in one of the Displacement Cannon locations in Xen. End ID.]

in Opposing Force, a corpse bearing a striking resemblance to Gina Cross but wearing a red HEV suit can be found in one of the Displacement Cannon locations.

[ID in alt text.]

according to a tweet by Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford in 2018, it is indeed Gina Cross. Colette Green's fate is unspecified, but he suggests maybe G-Man found her useful enough/had enough compassion for her to put her in stasis like Shephard.

Opposing Force did come out before Decay, so considering that changes were still being made to Decay's story during development, far enough along that there are some voice lines and animations for the scrapped missions, it's likely they had no thoughts about anything that would happen in Decay's story when they decided to include Dr. Cross's dead body as an easter egg in OpFor. so, despite the confirmation by one of the people most likely to be considered An Authority on what happened in the expansions, the canon-icity of this is... slightly debatable? especially considering that (iirc) "Gina Cross's" body can actually be spotted in multiple Displacement Cannon locations in OpFor. so unless there was a wild teleporter accident that created multiple instances of her who all died in different spots... okay, wait, i said that as a hypothetical and a joke but now i like that a lot as a narrative device, fuck.

but you get what i'm saying. whether or not this is "canon" is dubious because you'd have to reconcile a lot of contradictory story elements in order to explain how one can accept this as true.

...

CHAPTER 7: RECONCILING A LOT OF CONTRADICTORY STORY ELEMENTS IN ORDER TO EXPLAIN HOW ONE CAN ACCEPT THIS AS TRUE

if you choose to take Pitchford's tweet as canon, what's especially strange (and tragic, i'll explain) is that Gina has never been shown wearing a red HEV suit anywhere else as far as i'm aware. she wears an orange suit when you see her hologram in the training program in Half-Life and Opposing Force, and she wears a tan/ivory suit in Decay.

[Start ID. A scan of a posed render of Colette Green (left, standing) and Gina Cross (right, crouched) from the Half-Life PS2 manual. Colette Green wears a red HEV suit and Gina Cross wears a tan one. End ID.]

red is Colette's color, which i imagine is probably the source of the initial confusion. which could lead you to conclude that, although this is gina, she's wearing colette's HEV suit. it would explain why she's alone. her suit may have been damaged beyond repair, and it wasn't enough to protect her, so she had to take Colette's as she went off on her own for one last desperate mission that required Gina to enter the Xen even after they and Dr. Keller thought they had successfully sealed the dimensional rift.

so, yeah, picture that. they only had one working suit left. so only one of them could go. and it had to be Cross because of her experience. and even despite their best efforts, despite Green giving up her hazard suit to give Cross the best odds, she still failed.

we know based on the ending of OpFor that the detonation of the nuclear bomb in the car park would have killed anyone still stuck at Black Mesa after a certain point, as Green and Keller almost definitely were if things went back to shit after the end of Decay, which they would have had to if Cross managed to end up dead in Xen. it doesn't make sense to say that they'd then just go "acceptable losses!" and book it, since they took so much responsibility upon themselves throughout Decay's story, so i feel they probably stayed and continued to dedicate themselves to damage control up until the very end. and, like, how would they have known about the bomb? communications were out. probably nobody except Shephard, the black ops team, and that one security guard would have been aware, realistically. so, even if Green and Keller would have wanted to escape and save themselves, there's virtually no way they'd have had enough advance notice to get out of there.

but since Colette's effort was admirable enough for her to deserve a reward in the G-Man's eyes (or maybe just to be kept in reserve in case she's needed later, depending on how you read G's motivations), she, like Shephard, was placed in stasis. and if she ever wakes up again, she'll presumably be without Keller since Pitchford makes no mention of him, and she'll definitely be without Gina.

OR if you don't want to engage with the tragedy of any of this, you can just say that the dead Ginas found in OpFor are uh. y;know. copies of her that were created somehow when she and Colette got caught up in the harmonic reflux after sealing the dimensional rift! which is sad for the clones—and oooky spooky because (mario voice) who REALLY died that day? and who came back??—but otherwise, all three of them got out of Black Mesa together.

I think about them. i think about them a lot. whyyyyy why why why WHY can't dr keller and the half-wifes be from an expansion people have easy access to like blue shit and opposing fart. screams and cries and throws up!!! no actual hate towards Blue Shift or OpFor; i love them, i just wish Decay was also two dollar and on PC

Gina Cross's page on Combine OverWiki was the main source for all my information. i also sourced the screenshot of Cross dead and the scan of Cross and Green's posed render from there. hopefully this post makes people realize that there is interesting shit going on with these characters that is worth exploring.

my final message: dear entire world, include colette green in your drawings of the freezer crew chilling in stasis (nonthreatening suggestion)

#i look forward to the release of the unofficial half-life decay: solo mission on steam so i can finally play it #let me know if i typo'd or misspoke in this. i proofread it before posting #worked on this for longer than i meant to. it was originally going to be a short reblog LOL #it turned into essay-length Decay propaganda and deserved its own post #prinna's posts #half-life #half life #half-life: decay #half life: decay #half-life decay #half life decay #gina cross #colette green #half-wife #half wife #hm. unsure if it's fair to tag opposing force. well Yeah because gina's corpse is an OpFor easter egg and i talked about it at length #opposing force #hlop4 #op4 #opfor #half-life opposing force #half life opposing force #half-life: opposing force #half life: opposing force #however i will NOT be tagging keller because i barely talked about him and did not show any pictures of him #and that would feel unfair to the 2 keller fans i know have got to be out there somewhere

[jittyjames]

EVERYONE. IT'S A GLOBAL HOLIDAY. BC YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT. IT'S @firebalda's BIRTHDAY!!!!

AHHH CAN YOU BELIEVE???? CALL OUT OF WORK. SKIP SCHOOL. THE HAMILTON ARTIST IS TURNING TWENTY TODAY!! WE MUST CELEBRATE.

XEN. you are like??? my best friend on this app??? (along with crys naturally) like i feel like i can talk to you about absolutely anything and you have my entire heart. your mind is one of the best ones i know and i just absolutely adore you. we've only known each other for a little over year, but i feel like it's been so much longer than that. you have absolutely heightened my fandom experience, and i have the best time ever when we're talking. i love the absolute insanity of our conversations, and i hope we continue to create this bizarre shit until the end of time. you're my absolute fav, babes. keep drawing those two guys in love. keep being you. you're the best of us. giving you all the hugs from across the ocean.

(also enjoy your smut. i hope you'll love.)

[theleechyskrunkly]

SPECIFIC QUESTIONS YOU SHALL GET THEN

*taps mic*

1: How did they meet?

2: When did Paige realize he likes Idia? When did Idia realize he likes Paige?

3: Do they ever help each other with their hair?

4: What is one way they like to show each other affection?

That's much better >:D

1: These two actually met when Idia was a sophomore and Paige was a freshman. Around two months into the school year, Paige happened to be silently singing to the opening of one of the anime that Idia was obsessed with at the time (Lets call it... "Dark Magic of the Ultimate Mage: ULTIMAGE!!!"), and his extreme Otaku ideology compelled Idia to talk to Paige about his interests, but of course he ended up shying away last minute.

Ortho, seeing the potential opportunity to get Idia to make a friend, made a plan to get the two to somehow make contact. That plan involves a lot of Ortho and Paige getting to know each so that it would ultimately result in Idia and Paige meeting each other (but I'm not gonna discuss Ortho's master plan here because 1. I have no idea what the master plan would be, and 2. That's Ortho and Paige lore, not Idia and Paige lore)

The ultimate result (pun intended) of Ortho's plan was Idia and Paige meeting each other at an anime convention where they both cosplayed as the main characters for "Dark Magic of the Ultimate Mage: ULTIMAGE!!!" and the two hit it off! Of course, with a few nudges from Ortho to get the conversation going, they eventually found out that they went to the same school.

Idia died inside when he figured out someone from school knew he cosplayed, so Paige was the one to seek him out when they returned to school, since he was glad to find someone to share interests with. Idia wasn't hard to find, he literally has flaming blue hair. Anyways, they ultimately became besties!

2: That's the thing, Paige doesn't realize he likes Idia cuz HE'S A LITTLE SHIT THAT CAN'T DEAL WITH HIS OWN FEELINGS 🤬🤬🤬!!!!! Idia realized when Paige happened to fall asleep on Idia's bed while they were pulling their weekly all nighters. Idia stared at Paige for a little too long, his hair slowly turning pinkish. That is, until Ortho caught him (and teased him for WEEKS). Idia slept on his beanbag that day.

3: Rather than helping, they end up tangling their hair. Well, Idia ends up tangling Paige's hair, cuz I don't think fire can tangle 💀 but Paige does often bury himself in Idia's hair while he games (Idia never notices until he's done with his match) because he likes the warmth Idia's hair radiates. Idia fidgets with Paige's hair when they're in public in order to calm down his social anxiety.

4: Leaning A lot of leaning. Paige leans on people to show affection, since he's detached from most and isn't sure hoe to properly show affection. He leans on Idia all the time, while gaming, reading, during class, all the time. He also makes songs every now and then for Idia to listen to, though he doesnt show him every single one, since some of them are seriously cheesy.

Idia shows his affection towards Paige through inviting him to game, and not being as rude as he usually is to most others. He tends to go easy on Paige on video games where he's usually superior.

Tagging: @thehollowwriter @red-viewe @xen-blank @enigmatic-pers @cyanide-latte(if you'd like being added to the tag list, please let me know!)

#THIS THING TOOK AGES BECAUSE MY DRAFTS KEPT DISAPPEARING #anyways yeah #Idia is such a skrunkly #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst #twisted wonderland idia #idia shroud #twst idia #Paige Pegasus #Twst oc #ortho shroud #twst ortho #Cyany 👻

[snailsdraw]

[Start ID: 3 pages of HLVRAI narrative doodles following Darnold and his interactions with the Science Team after leaving Sasha in Black Mesa? Warning for stuttering (in case that sets anyone off).

Tommy wringes his hands nervously, havign caught up to Darnold. The latter is silent as Tommy begins to speak: "Darnold? I understand if you don't want to, to talk to me right now, but I thought I...I thought it would be, would've been good if..." he trails off, pressing his knuckles against his temple, "You said it would be temporary, and I...It..." Tommy squeezes his eyes shut, pressing his knuckles harder against his skull to try and concentrate on forming the words he's trying to speak. Eventually, he sighs and hugs his arms, saying: "If...if I had to send- to leave Sunkist...somewhere I would never see her again to keep her- to keep her safe, I..."

Darnold remains silent, back still turned on Tommy. After a long pause, Tommy resumes: "What you did was...it was a hard choice to make...and I'm sorry you had to...do that..." Finally Darnold turns around and looks at him quizzically. "Uhh...I don't know what you're talking about," he says. He walks on ahead, leaving Tommy watching him with an unconvinced look. Dr Coomer joins Tommy, shaking his head in sympathy. "Oh dear, it seems our dear Darnold has succumbed to the first stage of grief," he says.

Later on while on Xen, Darnold pulls out a huge bazooka and starts firing his potion baubles. Gordon whips around, shocked: "Holy shit- A BAZOOKA?!! WHEN THE HELL DID HE GET THAT??" Darnold loads another bauble into the bazooka, replying: "Oh Dr Freeman, I've always had one." He readies it for firing. "I just never had a reason to use it before now." Gordon pauses his firing at a creature to respond: "OH SHIT! OKAY!"

End ID.]

[Click here for previous part] Previous story parts found here: [Part 1.][Part 2.][Part 3.][Part 4.][Part 5.][Part 6.][Part 7.][Part 8.][Part 9.][Part 10.][Part 11.]

Didn't draw him in the Benrey boss fight, but Darnold could've probably used his evil potion in that.

#tw stuttering #stuttering #(<- tagging juuuust in case) #hlvrai #hlvrai darnold #hlvrai tommy #hlvrai coomer #hlrvai gordon #id #snail's art

[xen-xa]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHO CECIL PALMER IS?!

Ya'll better go listen to Welcome to Night Vale right now and educate yourselves

#xen talks shit #wtnv #cecil palmer #YES THIS IS ABOUT THE TUMBLR SEXYMAN POLL #welcome to night vale

[cheezy-moon]

My Moots List

"This moon has had some friends they've walked with... Whether in the past or present they still hold a special place in this moon's heart... "

This is in no specific order, so pay no mind to where you are! @keii-starz- Kei🍮 Tbh I think Kei was my first moot, besides Minty. Their writings are so good!! Chefs kiss even. A very passionate person when it comes too their interests! @eynnwwyjth- Faye🧚‍♀️ SUCH A SWEET PERSON HFJSKAIAI. Everytime I interact with them my day gets better! @dove-da-birb- Dovey🕊️ Y'all KNOW how much I love their fics. And their OC's?!?! They seem so cool! Dove is always a great person to interact with:3 @i-like-forgs- Ryo💪 LOVE THEM I'm pretty sure they were one of my first moots. Ryo is also a very funny person! @angelhairpastawithherbs- Angelhair💞THEIR WRITING IS GORGEOUS MUAH MUAH MUAH. Also very funny, and the rizzler💯/j @red-viewe- Red👹The emoji says it all/j Funny person also. I know a lot of funny people. OMG THEIR WRITING IS ALSO GORGEOUS. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THOSE GENERAL LILIA FICS. @twistwonderlanddevotee- Sofia🪷 First impression of her, Cinnamon roll, now impression of her, Cinnamon roll. Her wallpapers are so pretty and cute and gorgeous and amazing and-(she's also so sweet as I said before and I'd give her my soul if needed) @citrusitonit- Citrus🍊 Fine, fine. Citrus is a comedian. Makes me laugh my ass off sometimes istg. Art= Very pretty, Writing= A+ @the-banana-0verlord- Lilian🍌Amazing person! Also seems very interesting! We don't interact often, but we do every now and then! They support me in most of the things I do, and usually leaves a comment on my things. @krenenbaker Krenenbaker🌾 I call them honeybun for a reason. Krenen is a very sweet person in my eyes who I love very much(platonically):3 @azulashengrottospiano- Auburn🐙 THEIR WRITING??? HOLY SHIT-*dies* Anyways, an amazing person! Love interacting with them:3 @v-anrouge Aster🪻 Isn't afraid to say their opinions and I respect that💯 They don't listen to any hate and stick with what they say. Anyways, often a sweet person! Love intereracting with them! @haruhar-u/@17k-a Haru🖤 Funny dude! Chaotic sometimes too lol. @ithseem- Ithseem🐈‍⬛ A interesting and cool person! Also pretty art! @leonistic- Soru🍞 THEIR WRITING HDJSUUAJAIA*dies* Anyways, another cool moot! I smile as I interact with them bc my day gets better! @theleechyskrunkly- Leechy🤡 Oh dear another silly person like Minty😔/j Anyways, also very funny! @xxoomiii- Melice🍬- THEIR MOODBOARDS R VERY PRETTY! VERY NICE IMAGES! Anyways, Melice is SUCH a sweet person! And also seems like a great friend! @edith-is-a-cat Edie🕔 I GOT SO EXITED WHEN THEY FOLLOWED ME. They seem like a sweet person, a bit hmmm... chaotic? At times, but sweet. THEIR ART. IS. GORGEOUS!!! @saturnslastgoodbyes Saturn🪐- THEIR ART IS SO SO PRETTY GORGEOUS AMAZING, also seems like a kind person! @moonlitnyx Moon🌕- They seem like a very silly person! Haven't talked a whole lot to them yet, but every conversation with them is fun! @hydra-sea Hydra🦋- THEY SEEM LIKE SUCH A SWEET PERSON URISKJSHS AND OMG THEIR WRITINGS???? HOLY SHIT- @xen-blank Xen🐀- Xen is a GREAT person! Also funny!(goat kisser/mole rat kisser) @officialdaydreamer00 Irene✨ SUCH A KIND PERSON!!! THEY'RE LITERALLY SO SWEET! And omfg their art?!?! It's so pretty, I love their art style so much! AND THEIR FUCKING WRITING. AHHH- @whspermy-name- Minty🍄/ Whisper🍃 The whole reason I'm on Tumblr. If Minty didn't introduce me to Twisted Wonderland, and then fanfiction, I probably wouldn't be on this app. A very great friend also! And very silly:3 Part Two!

#Kei🍮 #Faye🧚‍♀️ #Dovey🕊️ #Ryo💪 #Angelhair💞 #Red👹 #Sofia🪷 #Citrus🍊 #Lilian🍌 #Krenenbaker🌾 #Auburn🐙 #Aster🪻 #Haru🖤 #Ithseem🐈‍⬛ #Soru🍞 #Leechy🤡 #Minty🍄 #Melice🍬 #Saturn🪐 #Moon🌕 #Hydra🦋 #Xen🐀 #Edie🕔 #Irene✨ #Whisper🍃

[woneuntonzz]

𝓲𝓼𝓷'𝓽 𝓲𝓽 𝓬𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓱𝓮? જ⁀➴

sohee x afab!reader (as “Xen”)

( part 1 ⟡ part 2 )

warning/s: cussing

genre: fluff -`♡´- highschool love

word count: 7.6k !!!

˚₊· ➳❥ description: performing arts club singer!sohee x performing arts club president!reader(xen) | he who admired from afar and he who'd keep you close to his heart, maybe, there could be a sweeter story than this. [note!!: this is connected to the “what's it like to love?” (anton fic) —a backstory to Sohee and Xen | reader will be referred to as Xen!! (!!) Y/n from WILTL will be referred to as Eza!! :3]

“I missed you.” 

You stood firm in front of the door of the music room, hands clasped together behind your back as you nervously brought your eyes to the pair that lingered on your figure.

“I missed you too, Sungchan.” he chuckles and pats the top of your head, slightly ruffling your hair. 

“It's been quite long, yeah? and your birthday's coming up too…” he holds his chin with his fingers, eyes going along the pattern of the tiled floor. “Do you have plans for your birthday?”

“You remembered my birthday?” he would only chuckle at you again.

“You're quite hard to forget.” you blinked twice, eyeing the smile that formed on his lips.

“I'm eating out with friends. You should come with us, we're not a lot, just Keeho and my best friend Eza —oh! and Sohee too, I think.” your enthusiasm would dwindle when you saw the way he just smiled at you. 

It was different, he was different. You figured it could've been college life, it would make sense, but something pricked your brain and you couldn't take a grasp on what it was or what could it.

“Eza and Sohee? Are they new here?” you instantly shook your head at him.

“Well, Eza has been here since freshman year, but we only became close friends last year, and Sohee —he's a transferee, he's in my club. He's so cute, and a great singer, might I add.” Sungchan nodded along with your words, chuckling yet again.

“That's nice. I'm glad you're happy.” He smiled again, a smile you couldn't read, a smile you swore you have seen before. 

The door behind you would suddenly open slowly, “Xen? I was just wondering…”

You looked behind you and saw Sohee's head peeking out of the door.

Sohee saw the tall guy that stood in front of you, and he didn't know what got to him, but he was unable to contain himself, “Who are you?” he asked him, and he, by no means, sounded nothing but curious —to you, at least.

“I'm Jung Sungchan, a football varsity from SNU. Nice to meet you…” he tilted his head, waiting for Sohee to spew out his name.

“Lee Sohee.” he says as he pops out of the door to stand beside you. Holy shit —Sungchan was taller than he had made him out to be. “Hi.” 

Sungchan grinned at the sight of you two, small and adorable —in your own ways, not together, no. 

“We'll be practicing, talk to you again tomorrow!” you gushed briskly as you grabbed Sohee's hand and pulled him into the music room with you.

Before closing the door, you would catch Sungchan's smile drop, dispensing a weak wave as you went in. 

Hands still entwined, you dragged Sohee back to the practice area. “Okay, back to practice everyone!” everyone got up from where they were, but the moment they had laid their eyes on you, they stopped, you shifted your attention to Keeho who had his eyes wide open, looking down the space in between you and Sohee.

You gently let go of Sohee's hands, uttering an apology right after. “It's —don't worry.” he laughed nervously, using his other hand to catch the other that you had just let go off. 

Everyone proceeds with practice as they normally would —but Sohee, well, his mind had other plans. He can't get the feeling of your hand holding on to his own out of his thoughts, he could still feel it —weird at first listen, but he found himself yearning for it. Maybe someday he would get to hold your hand whenever he pleases. 

Wait, that was Sungchan —in a snap, his thinking drive took a swift turn. Sohee gulped at the thought of you and him actually having a thing or already being a thing. He was taller, a lot more good-looking, obviously stronger, and most of all, he knew you better, longer even. A sigh would leave his lips, unaware of your watchful eyes.

The air he huffed made you think that your action must've bothered him. You weren't one to assume others' feelings, but if anything, the skin contact affected you as much as it did him, but your response would be a lot more delayed. 

You were focused on pushing your resurfacing memories of Sungchan to the back of your head as you closed that door, dragging Sohee with you. When everything finally got to you, your worries would arise. I must've overstepped his boundaries —you bit your bottom lip, looking relatively calm on the outside, but overthinking everything deep down.

Just overthinking, that's probably it. —you would sigh too, and Sohee would catch it —so now he thinks it bothered you.

The uneasiness would persist and remain unhelped. The day was almost coming to an end, and Sohee was pacing back and forth in his room, contemplating on messaging you about it. 

“Screw it.” he jumps onto his bed, sitting up with his phone in his hands. 

It was all unexpected for you. But still, you wondered what caused him to exhale that thick amount of air that sounded with lethargy. 

The 'kiss joke' was a bold move for Sohee, but you'd brush it off as a joke —it would honestly make you stop for a moment and smile to yourself like you were fangirling, but you thought maybe this was just him being his adorable self, yeah, cause he's always adorable. —you say to yourself as you proceeded to ask him about the 'sigh incident' —could've thought of a better name for it— and he would tell you that he was sad.

what are you sad about —read, five minutes ago.

You anxiously shook your left leg that rested on top of the other until your phone would vibrate again, notifying you of his reply.

i'll tell you on ur birthday :3 —read, nine hours ago.

The following morning, you were still thinking about the conversation you had with him. What could've made him sad and why did he have to tell you on your birthday. If he was willing to share it with you, he could've done so right then. 

“Say Eza, how does it make you feel when you're talking to a guy you're interested in —but, like, you're thinking he might be interested in you too?”

You and Eza were in a corner of the library farthest from the shushers, you were there to kill time and study for that day's tests before real school hours start. 

“I'd rather not talk about it.” Eza's head hung low, blurting down everything she needed to remember for the tests. After hearing your faint “okay”, she looks at you for a moment, seemingly focused on reading, but she could somehow tell that none of the words you scanned through were being absorbed by your brain. She continued blurting as she uttered, “Why'd you ask? someone got your toes curled?”

You shrugged to yourself, allowing your back to fall neatly against the backrest of your chair. “Just a thought.”

You jolted from your seat slightly when Eza gasped, looked at you with an exuberant face, and looked back down on her notes. “You know, I heard Sungchan is 'round the school ground right now. So, are you two talking again?” she says as rest her elbows on the table, hands pressed against one another, eyes wide and expectant as she looks at you.

“Yeah, we've talked, but even if you told me that he must've liked me at some point or if he still does…” you took a fleeting pause, eyes wandering around the untouched shelves of the library. “I don't really see him that way.”

Your friend seemed to be astounded, which in turn, made you subconsciously shrug again. “Sorry, I just assumed since Sohee told me he's seen you with him thrice yesterday.”

“Thrice? huh, 'didn't even count for myself.” you shrugged once more.

“So who's the guy?”

“You just mentioned him.”

Eza looked up at the ceiling, not minding the lights of the library pass through her cornea. “If it's not Sungchan then…” —another gasp. “So— really?”

Your eyes would displace itself to the side, as you nod, starting slow and becoming proggresively hasty. 

“The two of you are causing an earthquake in my brain —anyways, goodluck.” your friend releases a sigh, but it was unlike Sohee's the other day, it was more of a content sigh, like the ones you would hear from your club members after succeeding playing a piece with no mistakes and redos. 

You never really had a type, but thinking about it, he might be the closest to the ideal type you could get —your type. He had this charm, if it were somebody else, you could easily overlook it. There could be a myriad of reasons why he had a certain effect on you, why you would pay him more concern than you normally would a male. 

Maybe it's the way he'd smile at you, how even with his attempts to hide it from you, you could see the way his cheeks would rise  and how his eyes would hide themselves behind thin lines, it reminded you of when you would watch as the sun rose from the patio of your childhood, munching on sweets you were never allowed to eat but did anyways.

Maybe it was because he was unlike any you've met before, well, he did manage to exceed your expectations exponentially, he was probably the nicest boy in your school, to you at least.. Still, you didn't want to get ahead of yourself. You've barely known him for a week, anything could go wrong at any point in time.

“My birthday is after the sportsfest, you coming?” there it was again, your serene eyes smiling at him.

“Oh, yeah, of course!” and there he was again, smiling with a ray of sunshine, unlike the harsh and real rays, this one spilled with warmth and admiration. “Wouldn't wanna miss a special day.” he chuckled.

Even his chuckle is angelic. —you were sane enough to keep that sweet giggle of yours to yourself. Cute, cute, cute. —maybe you aren't so sane after all. 

After that day's practice, you walked side by side —Keeho wasn't present that day— till the two of you reached the school gates, you two stopped in your tracks when sunlight stopped hitting your skin. A lanky figure blocked the sun from saying its farewells to you. 

“Hi again, Sohee.” Sohee eyed the giant, his once warm beam dissipating with the sound of his voice.

“Sungchan, why're you still here?” You asked him, looking up at the taller's grinning face. 

“To take you home, like usual.” the giant shrugged — which to Sohee, was nothing more but off-putting. “Should I leave?”

Yes! —Sohee bit his lip to prevent his feelings from slipping out. 

“No! no, it's fine.” you smiled —at Sohee. “We'll be taking the bus.”

There was something weird about your trip to the bus stop. It wasn't the kind of weird that's fantastical, it's more perturbing than anything really. At some point the two guys were talking over each other, eyes probing at you for some kind of response. You pulled your safety card and got your earbuds out of your pocket. 

You had headphones, but for some reason you forgot about them and brought earbuds instead —but maybe the universe told you to bring earbuds, because later then, he would have the other piece of the pair, listening to your favorite Bruno Mars album.

Her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining,

her hair falls perfectly without her trying.

He thought it was one sided, but maybe it isn't, after all, you shared your earbuds with him.

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅  ─────

The music room was appointed for renovations, such inconvenient timing. In the end, your club was directed to practice in the gymnasium.

“But what about the players? they could hit us, and their noises will interfere with our practice.” —you argued to the student body coordinator, it was, of course, futile. 

You had no choice but to just put up with it.

You headed for the bleachers, each step growing louder with not much of your cognizance. You sat down at the front row, looking down on the perplexed faces of your clubmates. 

You felt a presence in front of you, right after you had unintentionally stomped your foot as you uncrossed your legs.

“You okay?” you could only sigh at Sungchan. 

“I don't know. We'll be fine I guess, it's just, hard.” you looked straight ahead, but you could feel his arm extending behind your figure.

You looked to your empty left and saw his hand resting at the space behind where you had settled yours. “Why'd they even renovate now, it's almost as if it's all intentional.”

You felt the anterior of his shoulder touching your upper back. Dealing with so many setbacks and the frustration it gave you and your club members, you just let go of yourself, and you promised it would be just for a few minutes. You laid your head on his shoulder, like how you would back then when you rode the bus home with him, or when he accompanied you when you were left all alone in the music room. 

He was a means of comfort for you, you paid him back as much as you could, and you thought everything would remain innocent as it is. 

He placed a hand on top of your head, he would slowly move it down a little to caress your hair. 

You heard the gymnasium doors open, and you saw him. You immediately got up, not harshly as to push away Sungchan, just enough for you to get up and greet Sohee who was just showing up for practice.

With a simper, he handed you an egg sandwich —no, don't ask where it's from— carrying a placid tone, he said, “Sorry for being late.”

He extended his arm further. He was below the bleachers, he was looking up at you and was close to standing on his tiptoes. 

“It's okay Sohee, anyways, we couldn't get anything started.” your voice shifted to a dismal sound as you got to the end of your sentence, and again, you felt a hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Thanks for the sandwich, Pekkle.”

A small and quiet giggle escaped your mouth. It's been on your mind for a while. Your favorite Hello Kitty character happened to look like one of your favorite people. Ah-ha! I got it, Sohee looks like Pekkle. —it took you a while to figure it out too.

In spite of the troublesome circumstances, just like any other day you were able to withstand this one. Maybe it was Keeho's return — having nonsensical debates with him, or maybe it was Eza who should've been home —since it's way past school hours— but had been lingering at the corner of the gymnasium without your knowledge —nobody saw her really. 

Or maybe it's because of him. “Just to be fair, you're Pochacco.”

Sohee's day was no different from yours, equally as frustrated, but for reasons you would've never known or even noticed. He was his same bubbly self, maybe even more active for this particular day, and you thought it was nothing more than just him being more comfortable with you. It was half the truth, but it was when he saw Sungchan walking up to you again after practice that he scooted close to you, his side slightly pressed against yours.

“Eza and I will stop by this really cool place before heading home, do you want to see?” —of course you said yes in the most lively tone possible like you weren't silently cursing at the school administrators. 

How could you decline when his question sounded like a sweet hum to your ear, so innocent yet so alluding. You were instantly curious, not only about this really cool place he spurred you into, but on why he was so quick to bring himself to close proximity with you —how his face was only one push away from crashing into yours. 

Eza was not with the two of you —it was a small stall at the street not too far from school, you've never been there before or have seen it ever, and it was in the opposite direction on the way home too. It was owned by the loveliest grandma ever who offered to give you some extras with your couple hotteok order. You were both too immersed with eating the fresh, hot and incredibly sweet —but not too sweet— snack that you almost forgot about the bus. You weren't even half-way into finishing your food when you and Sohee ran hand in hand to the bus stop, almost missing the bus.

With his hand locking yours in a tight grasp as if you would suddenly disappear into the air like a bubble if he lets go, you two ran with faces filled with smiles and giggles. You felt like children, stepping into the bus with heavy stomps and heaving chests.

“Whatever happened to Eza?” you exhaled as you adjusted yourself on your seat. 

Sohee just shrugged at you, smiley and all as he took a bite off of his remaining hotteok. 

You had some left too, you took bites almost syncing with him, and you two would make eye contact at one point and let little laughs escape your sugar-filled mouths. 

“It's not too sweet, right?” he'd ask you before launching the very last bite into his mouth.

“It's really good! wish I had known about that place sooner though.” you still had about two bites left with yours. “Grandma is really sweet too.”

He chuckles and gently nudges at you, “Not as sweet as you.”

Sugar was caught up in your throat and you found yourself coughing. “Are you okay?” Sohee scurried for his water bottle, clumsily opening the lid.

“I'm ok—” cough. 

Your lips wandered to the rim of his water bottle, and you went on to drink until the water's height was only as little as half your pinky. 

“Oh, shit, sorry.” you muttered, wiping the little drop of water on your forearm. “I shouldn't have drank so much —wait, wait. I think I still have some water here.”

Now it was you scurrying for your water bottle. “Shit.”

“Don't worry, I'll just drink some more water when I get home.” he gave you such a sweet reassurance in the form of his precious smile.

You could only stare and smile back. The truth is, you left your water bottle at the gymnasium. It's not an improbable situation, it's happened to you numerous times before, but of course you'd always feel a wee bit annoyed with yourself for forgetting something as simple as grabbing your water bottle from wherever you left it.

This time though, you didn't seem to care, not at all. Though you truly wished you could give him all the water you had left, there's just this uncritical fondness that flowed with the air you breathed. It was almost unreal, thanks to the sensation brought by the skin on your arms brushing against each other's, lingering and other times like a light touch of a feather, nothing else truly mattered.

What kind of trope would this be? —you wondered, lashes fluttering over your eyes as they continuously and delicately blinked at your homework that should've been done an hour ago.

At that point you've only known Sohee for five days. It all seems to be moving faster than you thought, faster than it should've been. You thought nothing big has happened yet, but somehow you're already growing afraid of the consequences, that this fine and beautiful string of events might fade away as quickly as it flourished.

That night you got in a video call with Eza, in hopes of easing your mind, but instead you find out that she was on a call with Sohee, even asking if you wanted to join in. When you declined, you immediately received a call from her.

“God that boy almost made me want to hang myself.” you laughed at Eza's exaggerated exhaustion.

“I thought you were supposed to go with us to the hotteok shop after practice —where did you go?” when you saw Eza's knitted brows, you would bring yourself to do the same.

“I was? wait, I didn't even know…” Eza's words faded into the air as she slowly brought a hand up to cover her agape mouth. 

Did he only want to go with just me? —you asked yourself, but then again you were filled with so many doubts, after all, he was on a call with Eza and not you.

You would bring these thoughts to school the next day —if you felt bothered, shutting up is not really an option.

“I thought you asked Eza to come with us.” you scoot closer to Sohee to whisper to him.

“I did.” he'd cooly reply. 

Your face formed a taunting expression, round eyes forming upside down curves and a menacing smile. Then, he realizes.

“Did she tell you?” your eyes went wide again at his little panic.

“Tell me what?” you tilted your head to look for his soft gaze.

He finally looks back at you and smiles. “Nothing.” lips almost trembling.

“Oh, I know! you like Eza, don't you?” as enthusiastic as you sounded, you hoped that he wouldn't yes —no, please say no.

The sweet beaming sunshine in front of you would soon fall. “Oh, have you always thought that?”

He was hurt that you had to ask that. He started doubting himself too, but at the same time, he couldn't help but feel like all the eye contact, all the brushing of hands and your sides, the jokes, the laughters, the smiles —he couldn't help but think, Am I the only one falling? —he would hate himself and the whole world if you weren't feeling the same despite the adoration he felt from your eyes alone, but he could never hate you.

The bell rang, and you weren't able to answer. For a fact, you couldn't speak at all. What will you say anyways? — I have a crush on you, no! no! it's way too early… —not too early to stumble upon Sungchan again though.

He was there to hand you your water bottle that you left at the gymnasium. “Thanks!”

“Uh, if you don't mind me asking, did you go anywhere before going home? I didn't see you around, not even at the bus stop.” your index finger restlessly tapped on your water bottle that you held with one hand.

“Oh yeah, I'm sorry Sungchan.” your body would slowly recede and so would the light in your eyes.

He, with a small smile, would bring his eyes to the floor  before looking back at you with a subtle nod. “No, I just wanted to make sure you got home safe and well, anyways, I'll see you around!”

He gives you a gentle pat on your shoulder before heading the other way. 

Sohee saw it all, and Sungchan saw him too —even left him a smile which to Sohee, felt quite odd. The first time he was with that guy, he fought for your attention —which you thought was them just being noisy men— and they both knew it. But they never knew your heart was already bound to one of them. 

At the end of school hours, practice would be held in the gymnasium —again. This time was a bit more bearable, at least that's what you'd like to think. The interactions between you and Sohee were pretty ungainly, it was better than avoiding each other entirely, but you were pretty sure the change was noticeable even with just the feels of it all. 

You two would exchange looks like before, but this time it's different. Your eyes urged each other to say something —but nothing, no words were spared about your conversation earlier that day. 

You felt somewhat stupid for mistaking his familiarity with Eza to be anything else other than just being childhood bestfriends. The feeling the situation brought you had you thinking that you owed him something, your honesty, perhaps? your true feelings?

This indeterminate tension wouldn't really last, you two would start talking the same way again, just very gradually. The pace was like swallowing marbles for the both of you.

“Pekkle, mind plugging the extension over there?” you lived for the way he perked up, you thought you wouldn't be able to even catch a glimpse of his eyes illuminating. 

“Yep, will do!” he jumps up —yes, literally— from his seat and does what he's told.

“Thank you!” your cherry flavored staggered his steps walking back to you. 

“Anytime, Pochacco.” you were back to giving each other sweet little giggles and lackadaisical attempts of jokes to mask your flirt. 

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅  ─────

It was finally Sportsfest season. Where you are, Sportsfest is held for three to four days, in this case it was still unsure for how long it would be for certain. 

“My bet is on four.” your friend Yuna says. 

You and your friends clung to each other as you entered the half-empty gymnasium. 

“I don't think so, our school is beating ass this season —too easy, it'll only take three days.” The whole group seemed to just agree with Liz.

After all, your school did bring in their old mvps to coach. 

You'd be away from your friends for the opening event. You looked around cautiously as you made your way through the sound equipment, looking for the rest of your band, looking for your vocalist.

“Sohee!” he immediately snaps his head to your direction.

He was relieved you arrived, he was just there standing since he was told by staff to stay put until the band was complete. You hurriedly approached him and asked, “You doing okay? nervous?”

His trembling smile was enough to tell you that he was, so as he nodded you spoke again. “Hey,” you place a hand on his shoulder. “You've done this before, this is a new setting for you, but I know you're always gonna be amazing.” 

His smile grows wider, eyes forming closed curves. He reaches for the hand you had rested on his shoulder, and very gently —and hesitantly— holds for it, slowly removing it from his shoulder to clasp it completely with his own hand. 

With a light squeeze, he mumbles a soft little thanks. 

You were lost for words again and you would just subconsciously nod at him. Your hands would remain locked onto each other, until you had to get ready and grab your violin. You softly tapped the back of his hand with your pointer finger, when the contact loosened, you felt like catching your breath. It was an irresistible sensation, one you felt like you weren't meant to let go off ever.

During the performance, you two would remain close to each other, not as close as before, but close enough for people to see your admiring eyes on each other that would meet momentarily and smile at the contact. 

You weren't even performing a love song or anything even remotely close to that, but your friends and his were having a lot of thoughts about the way you looked at each other, onstage and offstage —after your performance and helping sorting some equipment, you went back to your friends —it was a thought, but you ended up searching around for Sohee again.

For a while you thought he had gone to meet his friends, but when you got out of the storage room, you saw him right away, face as bright as ever once he spotted you from everyone else who helped with putting away the stuff the band used. There were still some people going in and out of the room, passing through the two of you like you two were just walls facing each other, so Sohee took you by the hand, swiftly bringing you close to him.

“Keeho got us some seats at the front, and also I got you something.” He hands you a banana flavored ice cream in a cup.

“Where'd you get this?” you asked as your skin made contact with the chilliness of the cup.

“Stole it.” he laughed when he saw your perplexed expression. “Staff started handing them out so I made sure I got you one.”

Your eyes wandered from his to your linked hands. He dragged you along with him through the people going back and forth places, he held on like how he did the last time, when you two ran to the bus stop. He held on like a little breath of wind could carry you away from him.

Your seat was in between Keeho and Sohee, and when you got yourself settled, Keeho peered at your hand that was still grasping onto Sohee's. “What's that?”

Keeho was loud enough to startle the two of you, and slowly you would let go of each other with subtle laughter. “What's what?” you asked back.

Keeho shook his head before turning back his attention to the game. “Got it, whatever.”

When you looked back at Sohee, he was seemingly focused on the game, but you could see the pink on his cheeks and the smile he tried to hold back. You had the same color on your face, though you were confident enough to think you were unfazed. 

Suddenly you feel something slithering up your hand. You looked down and saw a hand, not completely laying down its weight, but also not just hovering. With a smile, you moved your hand and repositioned it to smoothly intertwine your fingers with his. 

“Are they winning?” you ask, but not really sure who your question was for.

“I think, but I know I am.” he answered so casually, but fireworks were going off in your heart. 

The two of you were in a different game —or maybe not a game, more like a different world.

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅  ─────

Sportsfest flew by in a single swing, and Liz was right, it only took three days for your school to dominate the ranks. Everyone's hard work paid off, your frustrations for the school's very abrupt plans on improving your club's work space paid off.

It was another school day when you decided to visit the music room for the first time after five long days —three of Sportsfest and two of weekend's— you were relieved that there was actually decent work done at the place. The ac was fixed, finally, but the latest attraction is the recording booth. 

“Holy fuck, it's real.” Keeho's jaw almost dropped to the floor. 

The place looked a lot more polished now that you kinda felt bad for being annoyed with the renovation process. 

“Well, to be fair, they decided to work on it when we needed it, that's a little annoying, but anyways, such a pretty place!” Your club member Belle backs you up when you speak about your feelings. 

You smiled from ear to ear, looking around at your most treasured safe space. “I love it.”

“I love it too.” Sohee stood beside you, eyeing the new recording booth situated at the end of the room. “You think we could try it out?”

You knew he was talking about the booth, and you honestly wanted to give it a try too. “Definitely.”

The new recording booth was once what used to be a vacant room, your club members would later suggest turning it into a 'snack room', which you thought was a bit skeptical given that they could basically sneak in whoever they want in there whenever you and other club officers aren't around, but you obliged. After a while, you urged the club committee to help you make a proposal for the school to turn said vacant room into a mini recording studio —that was a year ago, having your wish come true now somehow made it feel intentional, like a gift to you for your birthday. 

“What song do you want to record, Hee?” you asked, head busy shifting around as you set up the control room.

“I was thinking… Bruno Mars.” a low chuckle escapes your mouth. “Talking to the Moon.”

You turned your head to look at him, but there was a stutter with your movement. “Great choice.”

“Your favorite.” he totally didn't mean to say that, at least you were not meant to hear it.

“How'd you know?” you laugh a bit through your words as he fiddled with the ends of his shirt's collar. 

“Oh, me? pfft! I just know.” he lets out an awkward 'hehe' at the end that should've been the most cringeworthy thing, but you just thought it was adorable. “I just know you so well, you know, I can tell by your vibes only.”

Laughter filled the air around you. You knew it must've been Eza who told him. 

The mini record sesh would start after some light preparation, it was just for fun, a little test drive if you will, but you couldn't help but just let his silken voice take you away to the heavens. 

“God.” he was a bit taken aback with your tone. “That was amazing.” you sounded like you had just gotten off the most intense roller coaster ride of your life.

He chuckled at your beautiful face painted with such an adoring expression. “Amazing…” he mumbles —you are so amazing— he finishes in his thoughts.

He wished it could be like this all the time. You showering him with loving plaudits, looking at him with honey-glazed eyes that melts him every time. He loved that you only had ears open for him whenever he sang, now he wishes it would be like that when you two spoke, when you two are together against this boisterous world.

After experimenting a bit in the control room, you two would leave, not even realizing that the others have left the two of you long ago. Before the bell could have a chance to sound, you two would run to your classrooms, fingers and hearts intertwined.

The day would end like normal. You went home with Sohee, and Eza —and Keeho too actually. You were honestly just so captivated you paid probably less attention to the other two than you should've. But you were excused, they knew, the whole bus should've known. Even if you convinced yourself that you were being quiet, you were only trying to be since your laughs and giggles were the only thing Eza and Keeho could hear —well to be fair, they were close to us— you could argue, but it is what it is.

The next day, it was finally your birthday. You felt a little nervous, a little anxious, you had no idea why too. The celebration wouldn't be until the end of the day, but you received birthday greetings from the whole class, from other students outside your class, teachers, some staff, your club members, Eza, Keeho, Liz, Yuna, and Sohee— was nowhere to be found. 

You tried your best to keep yourself happy, but it slipped out of you the moment Eza showed up.

“Happy Birthday love!”

“Did you see Sohee around?” Eza had just engulfed you in a warm embrace as you spoke, squeezing you a little. 

“I actually haven’t, sorry Xen.” she gently pats your back before pulling away. “He'll show up, I'm sure. Be happy now, it's your birthday!”

Eza shakes you around a bit, urging you to join her dance and hop around. You weren't able to hold in your laughter. Your best friend is always there when you need her to be, and you couldn't be any more grateful. 

Your friends locked you in the classroom during lunch time, and they'd pop out with a small and cute cake with Pochacco on it. Your smile would glow as bright as the day when you saw the writing underneath Pochacco, it read 'happy birthday! my curious Pochacco! —pekkle' —in light red icing, and it had a tiny little heart too.

Your worry was long gone after reading that short, sweet and winsome little message. But it did leave you wondering where he'd been all this time. You thought he'd pop out somewhere after your friends sang happy birthday, but he didn't.

“Just wondering, where's Sohee at?” your friends looked at each other.

Something was definitely going on. Your friends attempted, but did a pretty poor job of hiding their comical expressions. 

“He's busy.”

“He's sick.”

Two of your friends spoke at the same time. You were bewildered, but also amused. You just laughed. “So which one is it?”

“Busy, yeah, he's here.” Eza quickly jumps in before any of the others could speak again.

You nod your head slowly and steadily, looking down at your cream colored cake.

You still didn't see him around till the end of school hours when everyone met up at the exit. When you did see him, he was in a scurry, looking like he had just gotten out of a hurricane. He didn't look that messy, but he was definitely busy as Eza had claimed. 

“You okay?” He walked beside you on the way to a nearby diner. 

“Mhmm~” he hummed, looking straight ahead. 

He felt your gaze linger, his instincts got the best of him and he looked back. He hadn't seen you in a while —in a couple of hours— and your sparkling eyes greeting him as the sun started to fall made him shiver a bit, almost stumbling over nothing.

“You sure?” he chuckles at your question.

He only nods at you, wearing such an endearing smile. 

Arriving at the diner, everyone got seated nicely, and you were, of course, next to him. Your friends had already prepared and food was immediately placed down on your table like magic. You hugged yourself, feeling the warmth of the food course through your body. 

Ding. The sound of the door opening caught everyone's attention.

“Happy birthday Xen!” 

“Sungchan!” 

He walked to the last available seat —the one across from you— and sat down, smiling at you. He carried a paper bag with him, there were flowers in them, and another gift you couldn't make out what. 

Sohee's smile dissipates into nothing. He kept his expression neutral as he eyed Sungchan, watching as he let go of the paper bag that he carried into the diner with confidence. My gift is better. —Sohee affirmed to himself. 

He was admittedly intimidated by Sungchan's presence. Feeling unsure of himself, Sohee thought that Sungchan could've easily swept you off of your feet. You reaching for his hand from under the table to get his attention and give him a twinkle of your smile was all that took him to think —Well, it's my hand she's holding.

You enjoyed the food, the talk, the laughter and your friends' attempts in delivering a serious message to you. This birthday felt extra special than any other, not surpassing the ones you've spent soundly with your parents, but it was up there. 

Slowly, your friends would say goodbye, one by one. You'd eventually go out for a while to send off Eza and Yuna. 

And Sohee would be left with Sungchan at the table. 

The two made eye contact, it was gauche to say the least. Sohee would look up at the ceiling at one point with a hand at the back of his neck. He looks back at Sungchan, clearing his throat.

“Hey, I know you like Xen too.” Sohee's voice came out a little flimsy. 

Sungchan chuckles at him, downing the liquid in his cup before speaking. “Liked. I liked her, but that was before.”

Sohee blinked a few times, just staring at him.

“It was before I saw how she looked at you. She never looked at me like that, you know.” Sungchan yielded him a small smile. “She's happy with you, I feel like everyone could see that.”

Sohee looked at you from outside the diner, still in conversation with Eza in Yuna, but you felt his stare making you look back at him. Sungchan's chuckle would break your eye contact, fishing Sohee's attention.

“We'll just be best friends, Sohee,” Sohee was utterly shaken to the core. All of his thoughts had led him to think that Sungchan was just there to win you over and beat him.

As soon as the door bell sounded, the guys got up from their seats, Sungchan walking up to you with the paper bag he brought in hand. He hands it to you, giving you a short and subtle hug and a gentle pat on the shoulder. 

“I'll head out, happy birthday again, miss violin! I'll miss you." He gave both you and Sohee a little wave before he got out, leaving the two of you with a gaze fixed on each other's eyes.

Sohee walked up to you, tapering off the lengthy invisible string that had tied the two of you together from the very moment you had first spoken to each other, the first time your eyes sparked at contact. 

“Xen, happy birthday —and I'm sorry for not being around all day, I was just busy with,” he pulls out a card from his sling bag. “With this.”

He extended his arm to a distance to give it to you. You carefully took it from his hand, already cherishing it with your whole heart just by the decorations at the front. He was definitely not the craftiest, but he poured his whole heart into this gift. You've opened the card, only to about a centimeter when he stopped you.

“You should open it at home!” he gulped after his sentence, briefly looking down at the floor.

“Oh, okay.” you utter, unable to contain a luscious smile.

Sohee felt so lucky, lucky to be able to take in your ambience, the flow of your hair, your soft and caring hands, your smile that got him on a sugar rush, your eyes that carried so much compassion that he wished you could give only to him exclusively, and your voice, your voice that hummed and sang the songs that talked about your unsaid feelings towards each other, beautiful and serene, one like no other. 

You headed to the bus stop together, and your hands were linked again till you had to say goodbye. Before he got the chance to leave though, he got stunned for a moment, even getting called out by the bus driver. You had given him a peck on the cheek and he short-circuits like a toaster underwater. 

You giggled, giving him a gentle push. “Get off now, I'll see you tomorrow!” you softly —and quietly— urged.

He was unable to utter or find any words, and so, he beamed at you, hopping off the bus with such a huge smile on display. 

Getting home, after spending some time with your parents, you made yourself comfy on your bed, holding Sohee's handmade gift, leveling it to your face. You exhaled deeply, lowering it as you opened it. 

'i should've said this in irl, honestly that would've been better right? ok ok but anyways, i like you xen, i've liked u ever since orientation day. ur so awesome, and very kind, especially to me. 

i'd hate to be assuming, but i assume you're extra nice to me for a reason, yea? or no? hehehehe but yeah. here's my cover of your favorite song, i recorded it at the music room in school, that's why i wasn't around all day, hope u like it becoz i like you (so so much) :3'

There was a qr code at the very end of it, you tried to scan, but it didn't work. Your smile would droop down after a while, until a message from him popped up.

You smiled to yourself, toes curling at the unfamiliar feelings that drowned you in warmth and affection. You couldn't believe it too, in your head you were screaming, Is this real? —it definitely was, the feels surging through your body almost made you feel like you were going to catch a fever, but you smiled, eyes filled with bliss that you would carry into your dreams. 

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅  ─────

Sohee was in school earlier than he'd usually be, he was pacing around in their classroom, but he wasn't nervous —his elation was reflected in his smile and little mumbles, he was looking forward to seeing you again after everything that went down. 

Is she actually my girlfriend now? or was it all a dream? —he was fumbling, unable to sit still. 

He just couldn't believe he had pulled it off in a short amount of time, that he pulled you within very few weeks of talking. 

“Boo!” he almost passed out of shock.

But it was when he turned around that his heart started palpitating, pounding at an irregular beat. 

“You're…” his tone was very mellow and faint. 

“Here!” you finished his words, but eventually, you'd find out that wasn't what he was meaning to say.

“My girlfriend.” the curve that formed on your lips would extend till your cheeks rose up to its highest. 

You cupped his face in your hands, giving him another light peck, this time, on his nose. “You got that right, my boyfriend.”

Your friends were watching you from afar, their faces seemed repulsed with the sight of you two, but they were all happy for you, even thankful that everything ended well.

So, was it all too fast? it wouldn't really matter, because now, the two of you are well aware of your shared fondness, assured that every smile, every stare, every touch was an act of affection.

Who gives a fuck if it's cliche? At least it's real, and that's better than any film or form of literature you'll ever see.

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅  ─────

sdt: @wrotebyrini love sm :>

#riize #riize au #riize fanfic #briize #riize x reader #riize fluff #riize sohee #sohee x reader #lee sohee #sohee #Spotify

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S3Ep4. Aka WOAH THAT'S A LOT OF TRAUMA FOR MY POOR GABRIELLE Part 1 😭

Ffs why is Ares here AGAIN

OH who is THIS

Discord?? She kinda 👀 (gosh her outfit)

Ares you are so mfing UGLY I hate your stupid beard

Call him out, Discord 😍

GABRIELLEEEE

Hehe she's doing philosophy

Gosh Xena is silly silly

HER SLAPPING GABRIELLE TO STOP HER

BRITANNIA

CAESAR. FUCK.

Oh that did something to her. Poked that trauma, hu

Damn her listing stuff

"You know her?"

Why is there a dude with only one god again

"And to destroy Caesar" EPIC MUSIC. OHOHOHHH. She's gonna go REVENGE

"Xena doesn't hate Romans. Just Caesar."

Damn, Xena actually telling Gabrielle stuff? 😂

"The gods I know are trouble enough"

Sdbfhhdhdd HE MATERIALISED AROUND THE SWORD

Jesus Ares, fuck YOOOUUU

oh I hate this Ares whispering in her ear. I'd genuinely rather have Joxer here compared to Ares... Like if I had to choose. Preferably I want neither.

Is this Gabrielle's boyfriend of the week 😑

GABRIELLE BELIEVES IN LOVE TO XENA THO

I love Gabrielle teaching sb what Xena taught her

GABRIELLE GENTLY ASKING WHAT'S UP ❤️

I love them talking 😊

They really said Damn we got a ship now, let's put like four episodes on a boat!

How's the view from up there

Ohhh, is she sending morse code

"Yes, sir. They're headed north" ehdhdhd

A chariot again. Damn makes me nostalgic for Callisto

OH A HOT WOMAN

Damn Xena and that woman definitely fucked in the past. They have divorced sapphics energy

I dearly love that you actually see something in these night scenes. As opposed to new shows

GABRIELLE NOOOOOOO!!!!

I love women btw.

"Because your hatred for him won't allow you to be elsewhere" Oh she read her like a scroll of parchment

AHHHHH XENA LIKE "No that's impossible"

Oh shit she's about to murder someone bc her gf isn't here (*cough* Xena and Vastra are so alike-)

oh fuck yea...

And her ex kneeew

"Nooo." ough

Stop manhandling Gabrielle my babygirl

Pls she's so FEISTY😍😊

YUCK. CAESAR

Hi Karlchen.

OH. GABRIELLE IS TRYING TO SELL HERSELF SHORT SO SHE CAN'T BE USED TO BLACKMAIL XENA

Shit r they gonna threaten to crucify Gabrielle

Ohhh, is Xena gonna infiltrate

EW. STRAIGHT AGENDA (I knooow it's just a cover but still)

Eepy Gabrielle

Uh oh. I hate how smart Caesar is...

NOOOOOOOOO THEY PUT GABRIELLE UP

NO. NOPEEEE NOT THE BROKEN LEGS That's so fucked up

Xena's gonna save her

HA. She knew they were gonna bring them there.

Haha, Caesar's dumbstruck face

GABRIELLE CAN YOU MAKE BIGGER HEART EYES AT XENA

"Timing. We've got to work on timing."

HER CATCHING GABRIELLE 😍

She split his spear!!!

AHAHA FUCKING LOSER GOT HURT.

Rip his banner!!!

Oh, now his massive ego is scratched

NOT GABRIELLE APOLOGISING FOR BEING CAPTURED 😭😭😭

Awww, poor thems

Oh fuck they're taking the temple

Their shield formation and Xena just jumps them... 😂

Mmmmm... Not sure I like that. I'm calling the temple is a trap honestly... This went too smoothly

Oh Xena is enjoying this TOO much

And of course Ares is back.......

Ares stop shouting.

"Trust me, Xena!" "Based on what?" YES

Uhhhh why does this have the vibe of sacrificial virgin.....

Is their one god Chaos

Innocent blood? OH FUCK Gabrielle's blood innocence isn't it

NOOOOO, GABRIELLE

Mmmmmmh...

O_O GABRIELLE STABBED HER. SHE JUST KILLED FOR THE FIRST TIME

This is gonna let the god come out

WTFFFFFFF

I hate this guy

GABRIELLE MY POOR GIRL 😭😭😭

SHE'S SCREAMING, SOMEONE GO HUG HER. XENA!!!! YOUR GF IS IN DANGER

Oh she is enjoying that revenge on Xena bit too much

"That's where Gabrielle is" HUAGGHH

SHE HUGS HER. SHE HOLDS HER AWWWW

"No, Gabrielle, you couldn't"

"Accidentally!!!" "No, I stabbed her"

POOR GABRIELLE!!! SHE'S HIDING BEHIND XENA. PROTECTIVE XENA.

"What have you done to her, you BASTARD!?" She's big mad

Oh fuck. They wanna welcome that god and there's a battle about to begin outside

GABRIELLE!!!! FIRE. MY POOR BABY

Xena is so frightened for her gf

She's hovering over flames

Damn what a thin stone wall

HOLD ON GABRIELLE

Xena was scratched :(

BOOB KNIFE!!!

Xena is so sexy honestly

"Great at WHAT?" OH SHE'S THROWING HIM IN AND SAVING HER WIFEY

"I got you, I got you" Aaaaaaah

THEY'RE SO CLOSE. XENA IS SO PROTECTIVE OF HER

Kaboom

OUGH THEY'RE SO

"It hurts inside" OUGH sobbing. Gabrielle got me sobbing

Damn those are some CGI'd ruins

Also they really just abandoned the supposed A plot of the battle. That was SO smart tho. Like, from a story perspective. It was brilliantly executed.

#v watches xena #xwp #xena warrior princess #xena and gabrielle

[spif-lol]

Something very interesting to me about the portal and half life games is that they all (with the exception of Alyx) have silent protagonists. The games are really immersive and the lack of cut scenes and dialogue you are forced to engage in makes that immersion stronger. But that’s only the gameplay explanation, what about in universe? Why are all these characters silent?

I have some theories.

Let’s start with the easiest one, Barney. He is a simple case of a silent protagonist who in universe isn’t actually silent, we just don’t hear his dialogue. Even disregarding the fact that we hear him speak in half life 2 and the episodes, in Half Life Blue shift there are many indications that he is having conversations with people, such as Dr Rosenburg, especially when they ask you questions and then keep talking as if you answered. So Barney as a silent protagonist is strictly a gameplay thing. Adrian also has some evidence of speaking in his tutorial, as his drill sergeant talks to him. However I personally think that within the game itself Adrian does not speak, as he is in an unfamiliar environment and encountering things way beyond him, and mostly just focusing on getting out of there. He could speak if he wanted, but chooses not to.

In contrast, both Chell and Gordon Freeman have characters in universe acknowledge their lack of speaking. Gordon is often referred to by others as a man of few words, and Wheatley offers the explanation that Chell has suffered from brain damage. 

It makes a lot of sense to me that Gordon might not speak throughout his games. At the start he’s running late for work, so we can forgive him for only giving polite nods to his coworkers who are greeting him as he hurries to the test chamber. Then the resonance cascade happens, and he is understandably in shock, and doesn’t really have any chance to speak. Completely overwhelmed, he battles through the facility, with only the briefest of stops to be given instructions by scientists and security guards, power up the teleport in the lambda complex, and then he’s on xen, all alone. He defeats the Nihilanth, gets put into stasis, and then gets to rest. 

No psych, actually he’s awoken twenty years later (but for him no time has passed) and dumped in the middle of Combine occupied Earth, and immediately is acquired by the Resistance, given the HEV suit and sent off on tasks, chased by soldiers, rescue missions, and eventually storming the citadel, and then escaping in Episodes 1 and 2, watching so many others get injured or die while he survives only because of his suit. It’s a pretty fucked up week for this guy, and I honestly believe that he probably went nonverbal pretty quickly with all the shit going on. 

Then with Chell, I mostly believe that she doesn’t speak out of sheer defiance. In the first game she is mostly alone with what she assumes is a recorded voiceover, but then in the second game she is paired up with either Wheatley and Glados through basically the entire game. She doesn’t even attempt to ask Glados for help when they are stuck in the old facility and trying to escape. There’s also probably some brain damage at play, but considering she can solve complicated physics puzzles, it can’t be too bad.

That just leaves Gina and Colette, who work with multiple annoying scientists who won’t shut the fuck up (FUCK YOU DR ROSENBURG), so that’s enough to explain to me why they don’t speak. Plus it’s not uninterrupted gameplay, there’s cuts between each level. They’re making eye contact whenever they have to listen to Dr Rosenburg go on another monologue and then waiting until they’re alone and not actively fighting aliens to shittalk him in private. Also we hear Gina speak in hologram form.

Anyway the silent protagonist thing is neat, I like thinking about how it works.

#valve #portal #chell portal #half life #gordon freeman #Adrian Shephard #Barney Calhoun #Gina Cross #Colette Green #I'm currently playing half life decay with my house mate #and I'm getting sick of Dr Rosenburg #he's worse than in blue shift #for real

[burgerlabs]

not to be annoying but i sincerely think black mesa is. NOT TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH!!!! i know that hl1 is a classic and should be cherished, and i do cherish it, but holy shit you cant tell me that black mesa isnt an INCREDIBLE remake. i hate remakes usually but black mesa is literally one of my fav hl games and it isnt even official. its a fan project & passion project and it is so fucking genuinely amazing. i love the way it uses the style and graphics of hl2 but breathes life into it with the fucking INCREDIBLE environment + environmental storytelling of hl1 and incredible shading + textures.

its not hyperrealistic, but instead it has this middle ground which pulls you in and is so visually engaging its astounding. the sound design is so well done, the entire thing feels so cinematic but its not like those annoyinf "yer just playing a movie theres no gameplay" games"-- it FUCKS. black mesa needs so so much love and im so autistic over it.

i fucking started CRYING when i started the Xen chapter cause iys just. so. pretty. its so gorgeous. holy shit.

also i remember friends of mine saying like "i dont like the game cause its broken" and ummm? scratches head. my game is far from broken, it works completely fine so ? help? only time the game broke was when it crashed but thats cause i turned the rendering shit all the way up as an experiment LMAO

#burger labs.txt #ramble #rant #half life #black mesa #half life 1 #hl 2 #hl #half life 2 #source #source engine #valve #notes you better be nice to me #this is autism in the works right here