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dokoni-mo · 3 years

Text

She Truly Was || Muzan Kibustsuji x F!Reader

Summary: Enmu helps Muzan remember you.

SFW // Fluff with small amounts of Angst

Word Count: 4626

WARNINGS: *slight Mugen Train spoilers*, slight mentions of implied sexual activity, obsessive(?) behavior, Muzan is soft for one person only, some angst, mentions of injury, mentions of blood, I also barely proofread this lol

A/N: I've had this in my head for a while and decided to write it down. This is largely just a compilation of scenarios I made in my head to fall asleep at night when I was stressing over exams and stuff, all loosely thrown together with a plot. This is my first time writing for demon slayer, so please be patient! I also am basing a lot of my info about the characters on s1 of the anime, some of the manga, and the wiki. I apologize if something isn't accurate. tldr; I just think he's neat.

Despite having lived through thousands of years with hundreds of stormy nights in the midst, Muzan Kibutsuji never learned to appreciate them.

Something about nights like those in Japan just never sat right with the demon. It wasn't that they were too dreary, not at all. Life as a demon was plenty dreary. On the other hand, it wasn't that they were to lively either. No one ever went out on stormy nights; demon or not. Perhaps it was just because the rain was another reminder of the singularity that was being a demon. The poignant pitter patter just seemed to have a way of whispering to whoever heard it, telling them the most unpleasant yet quiet truths of their lives.

After Muzan's bloody meeting with the lower moons, he had told Enmu his task Muzan had planned for the pitiful, weaker demon. Although he had doubts that Enmu could hear him over the sound of the weaker demon's screams of pain from the blood he gave, Muzan was pleasantly surprised when Enmu understood the orders the first time around. Seeing as though it would cause trouble if the lower moon started to go around bragging about his newfound power and job, Muzan decided it would be best to keep a crimson eye on the demon.

This is what led to the scene before Muzan now.

Muzan had taken Enmu back to one of his many properties scattered across Japan, this one being tucked away in a lush, quiet forest in the middle of seemingly nowhere. The lower moon had not said a word throughout the entire journey there, and still refused to say anything now. Most likely out of fear.

Although it had been a long day of wrangling the lesser worms he called pawns (or "moons" if he was generous), Muzan did not want to show any weakness towards Enmu by resting. To busy himself, Muzan decided to do the tedious work the humans have him do in the job he took to please his human wife.

That insufferable woman.

With his bowler hat placed on his desk, Muzan had taken a seat in his large, leather chair, ordering Enmu to stand at the edge of the desk and face the opposite way. And, for extra edge, he was not to say or do anything.

It had been about two hours since then. The room was filled with only the sounds of Muzan's writing and the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner.

Although he ordered it to be that way, Muzan was already sick of it.

Peering his red eyes up from the papers scrawled below him, Muzan fixated his bone-chilling gaze upon the back of Enmu's head. Muzan could see the corners of the lower moon's mouth turned upwards as he faced the wall, presenting himself with an expression of dumb content.

Freak.

Enmu was definately a curious specimen. So eager to die, yet so eager to please Muzan. The demon lord would have been confused if he were not who he was.

Perhaps it was his own boredom setting in, perhaps it was because he wanted to feed his already gargantuan ego, or perhaps it was just because he was tired, Muzan decided to speak up.

"Tell me," Muzan said, his deep, smooth voice making Enmu perk up slightly, "Why is it that are you so loyal to me?"

Enmu took this as an opportunity to finally move, but not without some caution. The lower demon only turned his neck towards Muzan, along with a tilt of his shoulder. Muzan noted the disobedience of orders, but decided to let it slide this time.

The rain must have told him to be generous that night.

"Why, Master Kibustsuji," Enmu said, a faint blush adorning his cheeks, "It is because I am so delighted to be in your presence, and have my power be of service to you."

The demon lord felt his jaw clench at this, his red eyes peering up at the lower moon from under his abyssal lashes. Although Enmu had an... odd, way of putting things, Muzan always did like it when someone stroked his ego, even if all they ever said was the same banter over and over again. He was nearly perfection, afterall.

Muzan sat quietly and pondered Enmu's response for a second, before formulating his own.

"Your power, as you put it," Muzan said, his voice firm, "What is it?"

Enmu's grin widened, "Dream Manipulation, Master. I can enter, manipulate, or control anyone's dreams however I want to. I can use it to kill from the inside, eating a person spirit first and body second. I can also put people to sleep."

Muzan wasn't necessarily impressed by this, but he wasn't disappointed either. An ordinary power, really. Nothing that could ever rival his own.

However...

Muzan's gaze flickered down to the surface of his desk. A flicker of a long lost yet not forgotten feeling bubbled deep inside of his being. A mere spark of light, really, a piece of warmth he felt from long ago, lost to the wayside by the vestiges of time.

It was something Muzan thought he would never experience again.

Dream manipulation, huh?

It might be worth a try.

Muzan looked back up to Enmu, sharpening his gaze, "Tell me, are you able to give... pleasant dreams?"

Enmu was surprised to hear this come from Muzan to say the absolute least. He took this as another opportunity to disobey orders and turn to Muzan again, this time fully and whole-heartedly. The lower moon looked right into those blood red eyes, looking for any sign of a rare flicker of humor or joking.

Muzan's gaze was serious, poised as ever.

Muzan was being for real.

Taking a pause to swallow, Enmu allowed his soft smirk to return to his gray, pale face.

"Why," the lower moon retorted, "I can, Master, yes."

Muzan eyed the lesser demon for a good second at his response.

This move was risky. It could damage his image. Yet, if he was to do this with any of his pawns, he would do it with Enmu. Enmu seemed to have no intent on harming Muzan or his image in any way; he was far too loyal for that.

Besides, if someone were to question the might of Muzan, he could just prove them wrong.

Muzan leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other and lacing his fingers together, wrapping them around his knee. His icy gaze still on Enmu, he spoke again.

"I wish to see a pleasant dream."

Muzan nearly rolled his eyes when he saw just how wide Enmu's grin had gotten and just how flushed his face got.

It was repulsive.

But, if it meant what Muzan thought it would mean...

It was worth stomaching.

After a breif moment used to compose himself, Enmu's smile faded to normal again. He pulled up the sleeves to his coat.

"I will give you a dream where you will experience the happiest days of your life over again, Master Kibutsuji," the lower moon stated, "Is this to your liking or would you prefer something else?"

"No," Muzan stated flatly, "That is fine."

Perfect, even.

Enmu smiled widely one last time, holding out his arm and pointing it at the demon lord.

"Sweet dreams, my lord." Was the last thing Muzan heard before falling into a deep, deep sleep.

"Muzan..."

Despite his blood demon art being so much weaker than his, Muzan wasn't quite ready for just how Enmu put him into a dream like that. Muzan's headache had grown ten-fold now, and he could feel that his face was scrunched.

"Muzan..."

Slowly but surely regaining his full consciousness, Muzan could first feel that he was in different clothes than what he had been wearing before. These ones were lighter, softer, and much more airy than his normal suit. Squinting open his crimson eyes, he saw that he was in what appeared to be a long, dark, flowing kimono.

The second thing Muzan could feel was that it was rather cool where he was, and that he appeared to be lying on the ground. Sifting his weight slowly, he could then feel that his head was lain upon what felt like two soft, plush pillows firmly squished together.

The third thing, however, took him a little longer to discern quite that it was. At first, he thought it was a pair of chopsticks running across his scalp over and over again. Upon, further thought, however, Muzan was further snapped back into awareness.

Those were not chopsticks.

Those were fingers.

All too familiar fingers.

"Muzan..!"

Muzan felt a stir deep down inside of him. He recognized this feeling, this touch, this warmth. It had been so, so long since he had felt like this. How long was it again? It had to be an eternity ago. An eternity wrapped within all time time in the world.

Muzan was speechless. Muzan couldn't move. Muzan was struck from deep within, and nothing in the world could ever compare to its blow.

"Muzan!"

Although the calling of the demon's lord name had been going on for some time now, he was just now able to respond.

Tilting his chin upwards towards the voice's source, Muzan nearly fell to bits right then and there. If he was someone else, he would have wept deep, earnest tears at the very sight of the being above him. For everything and nothing surrounded him as he studied the bright, radiant face above him, and nothing else seemed to exist other than that smile.

Other than her.

Her.

Oh, her, her, her.

His beloved. His sun, moon and stars. The ground beneath his feet and the air around him. His joy and love, his woes and sorrow. His fears and excitement. His warmth and his cold.

You.

You were really here.

"I was wondering if you were ever gonna wake up," you said, a faint laugh behind your voice, "You were out for so long!"

This scene was all too familiar to Muzan. He had replayed it in his head countless times, as if it were the only record left in the world.

He knew what this day was, and he knew all of your lines.

How could he ever forget?

Every moment he had ever spent with you had been a blessing.

Right now, his head was cradled in your lap, your soft, delicate fingers combing through his hair oh so gently as he had slept. It was deep into the night, and ordinarily Muzan would not be sleeping at this time. However, your touch was just so relaxing to him.

Everything about you was.

Today, you and him had spent the night wandering through the garden of your home together, chatting about anything and everything. It was only about two months into your relationship with Muzan. Muzan had first come to your home with the intention of eating everyone within the residence, but once he saw your face, watched you, saw your heart, your spirit, your you, he just couldn't.

He just...

couldn't.

You were human, yes.

But Muzan didn't care.

He was in love with you.

Muzan had yet to tell you the truth about him, however.

But that could come later.

"Muzan, are you alright?" He heard your voice echo again, snapping him out of his trance. He saw your face painted with worry, making his own features soften.

His darling angel. If only you knew just how much it pained him to see you with anything other than a smile.

Muzan reached his hand upwards, steadily maneuvering his fingers to brush your hair behind your ear and cup your warm cheek. He was shocked at how real you felt, shocked at just how similar it felt to all those years ago.

Perhaps Muzan had to give Enmu a reward.

The demon lord caressed your cheek gingerly with his cold, calloused thumb, savoring in just how warm your flesh was compared to his. For the first time in what felt like eons, Muzan felt a smile adorn his handsome features. Not one put on just to appease the humans around him, but genuine. The type of smile only you got to see.

Only you.

"I'm more than alright, my darling." He responded, his voice soft and warm, without the normal venom he gives to his subordinates. A voice reserved restrictively for you.

Finally, you let a soft grin come over your heavenly face again, making all seven of Muzan's hearts swell.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up," you said, "But it's about to be dawn soon. I don't want you to get a burn, so let's go in the house again, okay?"

Ah yes, the lie Muzan told you. He, of course, couldn't be with you in the sunlight (as much as he wanted to). So he had told you that he had a rare disorder that made him extra prone to sunburns and heatstroke.

Just something to keep you safe from the truth.

His soft smile still adorning his features, Muzan gave you a nod as he slid his head off of your lap. Since you were on your knees, you were quicker to stand than him. Brushing off your kimono quickly, you offered one of your hands to Muzan to help him stand, of which he gladly took. He had long since forgotted just how perfectly your hand fit into his, along with how radiant your kimono made you look.

Once he was back on his feet, Muzan couldn't help but to hold your arms, holding you a few feet away from him to simply admire you for a moment, his crimson eyes doing laps around your face and body.

You were perfect to him.

Every single thing about you was without flaw in his eyes. Not one curve of your body was too shallow or too wide. Not one strand of your hair was misplaced or without poise. Not one feature on your face took away from your radiant beauty. And you had not one bad bone inside of your body.

Muzan was never one to believe in angels.

However, if anyone in any part of the world were to tell him that you were one of them, straight from the heavens themselves,

He would believe them.

As soon as Muzan stepped through the door, his hand in your own, the scene before him changed in one giant, peaceful flash of white light.

Before him now was no longer the house that he had shared with you all those years ago. Now, in its place, was a beautiful, lush springtime garden, all dredged under the cover of the night. It was not devoid of light, however. There were a few lanterns afloat in the water of the stream, as well as some within the structure of the small bridge that went over top of it. Flowers adorned every nook and cranny of the space, and the occasional insect or bird would make a brief appearance.

A small slice of paradise, just for you and Muzan Kibutsuji.

Fearing that you were no longer by his side, Muzan turned his head. His fears were quickly subsided when he saw you there next to him. Your delicate hands were placed on the railing of the bridge, and your eyes were fixated on the calm water below, almost as if it were a window into the heavens above. There was a small smile plastered on your face, and the delicate lights illuminated each of your features so perfectly.

Muzan knew this night.

This was the night he told you the truth.

The truth about him, about his "condition", about where he went for days on end, about why he couldn't walk with you in the sun, about everything.

This was the one night Muzan had ever felt fear.

"Is it really true, Muzan?" You asked, your gaze still fixated on the water below, "Are you really a demon?"

Muzan felt his lips part in small surprise. Even though he had replayed this night time and time again in his mind, it felt as if this were all happening for the first time over again.

Enmu really was good at this.

Muzan wet his lips before responding, setting his gaze on your precious, beautiful face and refusing to move it, "Yes, my love. It is true. I would not lie to you about this, I..."

A pause to collect this thoughts, before he could continue, "I kept it from you to protect you, (Y/N). I did not want any harm to come to you. My darling, I... I love you. My love for you knows no bounds. You are the stars that shine at night, and you are the shining moon above. Each time I look upon you, all I can stand to think of is how deep my love for you runs. I... I need you, (Y/N). I do not wish for you to be frightened of me, my angel. I would never, not ever harm you, nor let any harm come to you."

You still weren't looking at Muzan, yet your smile had yet to falter. Muzan felt a bubble of nervousness in his gut. Although he knew your response to his words already, even thinking of this moment never failed to make his stomach churn. He hoped his words to you were enough. He doubted that he had ever said anything more truthful in his entire life.

After a long pause of silence between the two of you, you closed your eyes and widened your smile. Then, you opened your eyes again, finally turning to face your lover. You looked Muzan right in the eyes, seemingly unfazed that you were standing so dangerously close to the most powerful being alive.

You were so brave.

Your heart was so big.

Muzan felt so overwhelmed.

"Muzan," you said, your cheeks dusting a light pink.

What you said next to him, Muzan could never get out of his head, never forget. No matter how much he tried, he would never not ever forget your words in that moment.

Within that one short, simple phrase, the king of demons fell in love all over again.

"I've always known."

Another flash within his crimson eyes, and the scene had changed again. Nighttime again, of course, but this time within the confines of the bedroom you and Muzan shared. Both you and Muzan were nude, sans the blanket that covered the lower half of your forms. Muzan was on his back, one strong arm wrapped around you, the other cradling the back of his head. Your legs were intertwined with his, and your hair and hands were sprawled out on top of his lean, muscular chest.

Muzan knew this night as well.

It was his most loved night with you, but also his most dreaded.

How cruel fate was.

Stroking your back with the tips of his fingers, Muzan stared up at the ceiling above the two of you. Your body was flush against his, and as warm as ever. He wondered to himself if he was making you cold. If he was, you didn't seem to mind.

After a long period of savoring the silence between you and him, you softly snorted out a cute, soft giggle. This made Muzan angle his chin downward to look at the top of your head.

"What is it?" He questioned.

You giggled again, tilting your head up to look at him. Smiling, you turned your body to lay on top of the demon king, your breasts smushing against his own. Instinctively, Muzan laid his hands on your hips, rubbing small circles into them as he held you in place.

"I just find it funny that even though you profess to have so much stamina, you get tired after only two rounds." You explained to him, a playful mischievousness in your tone and eyes.

Muzan breathed out a smile, reaching up a clawed hand to brush your hair out of your face.

"As I recall it, you were the one complaining it was too much." He quipped back.

You snorted, "As if that ever stopped you before."

The demon let out a soft chuckle, leaning forward to give you a kiss on the forehead. Muzan couldn't remember ever laughing so genuinely before you came along. You truly were the light of his life. You filled his days with the sunlight he had long since forgotten, as well with the warmth no other demon could ever have.

He loved you.

He loved you he loved you he loved you.

And he still did.

He watched as you dropped your gaze to his chest, running your fingers along the flesh.

"Muzan..." you said, your voice more serious than before, "I've been thinking a lot lately..."

The demon king hummed, brushing more hair from your face.

"What has been on your mind, my love?" He asked.

You paused for a second before continuing on. Muzan could practically see the gears turning in your head.

"Well, I... I'm not getting any younger, you know, and I've been thinking. I... I really love you, Muzan. You're the only person I can imagine myself being with for the rest of my life. The other day, I was in town, and I saw the cutest family ever with a husband and a wife and two adorable little children, and it made me think..."

You looked up at him again, giving him a soft smile.

"What if we were to have a family of our own?"

Muzan could feel the same sense of joy, love, and pride in his chest as he did this same moment all those years ago. In this moment, he had never felt closer to you before, nor could you recall ever looking more beautiful.

He wanted nothing more than to be a family with you for the rest of eternity.

"Darling, you know what that would mean, correct?" He questioned you. He had told you long before that demons could only have offspring with other demons, for a demon baby would eat its human mother from the inside and kill her. It was gruesome, and had originally made you cringe at the thought. Muzan had thought your reaction was quite cute.

"Yes, yes, I know," you answered, "and I'd be ready for it. Even if I'm a demon, and even if I can never go out in the sun again or live normally ever again, I'd be happy knowing I got to be with you and our baby for the rest of time."

Muzan gave you a smile in return, his long, white fangs flashing in the light of the night. Leaning forward, he kissed you upon your soft, warms lips, gently pulling you closer to him.

This was one of the thousands of reasons why he loved you.

You were always so sweet, so kind and optimistic. He would admit, he did have a soft spot for you and you alone. But he didn't care. You were worth it. You were worth every single piece of money on planet earth. You were worth the sun the moon and the stars, and all the planets here and beyond. You were worth any injury, any heartache, and any trial or tribulation in the world.

The king of the demons unquestionably, unfathomably, undeniably, adored you.

Pulling gently away from the kiss, Muzan looked deep into your eyes, right past your pupils and looked right into your soul, your very being.

"I would want nothing more, my sunlight."

If Muzan could turn back the hands of time, he would have kept you here with him for the rest of everything and beyond.

For he did not know then that was the last kiss you and him would share.

Another flash, and Muzan was no longer greeted with a visage of the past. Much to his dismay, the demon was now greeted with the sight of his office, with a smiling Enmu creepily watching him from across his desk.

What a fucking freakshow.

Taking in a breath of air through his nose, Muzan sat up tall in his chair again, rubbing the bridge of his nose with this thumb and pointer finger.

You were gone again. You were again nothing up a memory, a whisper of a time from the past.

Muzan could hardly bare it.

He had felt you, held you near him.

And just as fast as you came back, you were gone again.

This was a pain almost too hard to bear.

How long was he asleep for? Muzan really didn't care how long it was.

No amount of time with you was enough.

"Did you have the pleasant dream you wished for, Master?" Enmu asked the demon king. The lesser moon was lucky Muzan was in a somewhat good mood that day.

"Yes." Muzan replied simply, closing his eyes to rub them with his thumb, "Excellent work."

Enmu's smile widened at this, his cheeks turning pink again.

"Why, thank you, Master." He responded, his excitement prevalent in his voice.

Enmu really was a special one.

After composing himself again, Muzan scooted his chair forward up to his desk, fixing his gaze back onto his work sprawled out below.

Muzan just wanted to be alone again after that. He had been alone for years now, but he wanted Enmu out of the room. Although he could have easily ordered it to be so, he again did not want to show any weakness to the lower moon.

Christ on a bike. Muzan was so fucking stubborn.

He remembered all the times you nagged him for it.

Oh, what he would give to have you nag him one last time.

After a long bout of silence, the lesser demon decided to speak up again. He turned his head over his shoulder again to Muzan, trying to sound as naieve and innocent as possible.

"Master," Enmu said, "Where is she now?"

Muzan stopped his movements and glared up at Enmu with a venomous glare. How dare he even refer to you. You were so far above him, how dare Enmu even think to invoke your name.

Though Muzan wanted to kill the other demon right on the spot, he decided against it. He still wanted to see how Enmu would do on his mission. Also, Muzan had to admit that he did feel lighter and more generous after his dream with you. And he supposed it was fair that Enmu had his questions.

Feeling nice, Muzan decided to entertain Enmu's question.

Shifting his gaze back to the papers below, Muzan replied.

"Gone." he said, "The night she asked about a family was the last night I saw her alive. The next day, a group of slayers found her and our house. They knew who she was and that she was human, but killed her anyway. All in attempt to get to me. I found her in a pool of her own blood, limp and cold. The slayers died that same night."

Enmu's smile faded at this, his face taking on a look of shock. Closing his lips into a tight line, Enmu looked away, out of a quiet unconscious respect. Everything made so much more sense to Enmu now. Why the demon king was the way he was, his hatred for slayers, his cold-hearted, murderous nature.

It all clicked into place.

"I... I am sorry for your loss, Master." He said, his voice quieter than normal, "She seemed like a lovely woman."

Muzan peered up at the back of Enmu's head. Through his thick, black lashes.

"Yes..." Muzan said.

"She truly was."

#demon slayer #kny fanfic #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba muzan #kimestsu no yaiba #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer x you #demon slayer x reader #muzan kibutsuji #muzan kibutsuji x reader

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charlesoberonn · 5 years

Text

I stand in my armor on the precipie of Hell’s Mouth. The flames, both red and white, surround me. The three other crystals are all set in their places across the other corners of the gaping abyss. I heave and push the final crystal into place.

Light erupts from its core, and bursts out in the form of three concentrated beams that travel across the vast distances and towards the other crystals. Similar beams now burst out from the rest of them and form a square with an X over the abyss.

Then all four crystals shatter, and the entire cavern is filled with light. The flames are extinguished all at once and a torrent of glowing orbs flows out of the mouth of hell and floats up into the air.

I squint my eyes as the orbs form a humanoid being in the air. Tens of meters tall, with six arms and four massive wings. The angel is adorned in an armor not dissimilar to my own, but glowing, and brand new, as opposed to my ancient set. And much larger of course.

“I am Venn-El. The Angel at the End of Time.” it bellows at me, its voice echoing through the cavern, and transmitting directly into my mind, all at once.

“Why have you awakened me?” it flies down so that its incomprehensible and massive face stares at me. “I am not to awaken until the end of all things, when I am to rebuild a new universe from the ashes of this one.”

“Um, I wanted to switch rooms.” I tell him back.

He floats still above me, silent, for a solid ten seconds. “What?”

“I lived in an inn with three other dudes. I wanted to switch rooms with Bradon because the central heating doesn’t reach my room and it’s gonna be winter soon.”

Venn-El pauses again. Then it drifts back into its original location. “What does that have to do with me?”

“I need a feather from one of your wings.”

“What? What for?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I have literally all the time in the universe.”

“You sure? It’s kinda stupid.” I take off my helmet and rub at the back of my head.

“Now you have piqued my interest mortal. You must tell me.”

“Okay...” I sigh. “You asked for it.”

“So I asked Bradon if I could switch rooms with him and he obviously said no. So I asked him what he wanted in return for the switch. He said I needed to do some chores for him, so I did them, but after that he was like “lol thanks” and then refused to switch rooms.”

“God, what a dick.” Venn-El comments. It seems comfortable leaning back into thin air, as though sitting in a chair.

“I know, right?” I lean back against a rock. “So anyway...” I continue “I eventually realized that my bro Jackmire technically owns the deed for the inn so he could force Bradon to be true to his word. And Jackmire agreed, but he’d have to get the local constable to sign the order confirming Jackmire as head of the house first. So I had to go to the police to get the constable.”

“Sounds like a beaurocratic mess. I would’ve just vaporized Bradon.”

“Trust me, if I could’ve, I would’ve.”

“Please continue.”

“Okay, so I went down to town to get the constable, but they were busy at the police station because three bandits were hiding in the nearby hillsides causing trouble and the constable was out of town chasing them. They told me they could give me temporary authority as a deputy to go look for him if I helped them with the paperwork. I’m pretty sure that was some bullshit.”

“I don’t have much concept for the way the mortal realm works but it sounds like it.”

“But I did it anyway, got my badge, and went out to the hillside to look for the constable. Only to be nearly immediately attacked by some low-level monsters and chased back to town. So I got to the local blacksmith and asked him to borrow an armor and sword.”

“This armor and sword? Pretty impressive for a small town blacksmith.”

“What? Nah. I upgraded these like 15 times since then.” I tap my Godslayer sword against my Legendary Hero’s armor. “So anyway, blacksmith agreed to just give me the sword if I pretended to be a suitor for his daughter because she’s been very lonely and he thought she needed some love.”

“Kinda manipulative, but also sweet.”

“Long story short, halfway through my fake date, I find out the girl didn’t need a suitor, she was actually gay. I later gave her the address for this other lesbian I’ll meet later, but for then I just bid her ado, and went on my way to the hillsides to look for the constable. Killing the monsters was difficult, but I got pretty good at it after a few hours.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Um, last week? Maybe two weeks. I lost the sense of time ever since my trip to the ancient past.”

“What?”

“But I’m getting ahead of myself. I made it to where the bandits were and found the constable dying. I beat the bandits (broke my sword in the process) and in his dying words, the constable told me that I had to protect the town. I told him I’m too busy and then he died.”

“Fucking hell.”

“Exactly. So that was a literally dead end. My only other hope to get the deed verified is the other signature, which was the constable’s old boss who has since retired.”

“So the adventure continues.”

“I got back to town and told the secretary in the police station that the constable is dead. She tells me I’m the new constable. That’s cool and all but I can’t verify the deed since I’m not the one who signed it. I ask where the old guy who co-signed it is and they tell me he’s retired in the Imperial Capital. I also tell the blacksmith that I broke his sword and try to return him his armor but he says I can keep it and even upgrades my stuff to be better. Which is super sweet.”

“Sounds like a solid dude.”

“So anyway, I gotta leave for the capital but I also can’t leave the town without a constable, so I gotta find a replacement. It needs to be somebody strong and reliable, and luckily for me, there was a tournament in the next town over. And I’m thinking surely somebody is gonna be there who’s good to be a constable. So I take the dead constable’s horse and some donated supplies from the locals and I ride there. It’s pretty close by so it doesn’t take too much before I reach there, and the tournament is about to start.”

“Ooh, a tournament arc!”

“Yeah. So anyway, I find the perfect match. Her name is Kroshna and she’s the champion of the village and the daughter of their constable, so she’s got all the experience necessary. I ask her to go be constable in the next town over and she says yes, but on the condition that I beat her in the tournament. So off I go signing up to the tournament so I could face and later beat a lady three times my size and years more experienced than me.”

“How did you do that?”

“Well, it wasn’t easy, but I’m getting ahead of myse-” suddenly the entire abyss begins cracking up and rumbling. It then begins to close.

“Shit.” I say. “Looks like the planetary alignment is over.”

“Fuck. But it was just getting interesting.” Venn-El says. “How did the story go? How did you beat her? What happened when you went to the capital?”

“We’ve got no time, dude. Can I please just get the feather?”

“Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.” the angel plucks a single feather out of one of its wings. Another one instantly grows in its place.

“I hope this helps you in your quest.”

“Thanks.”

“Please come back next alignment and finish the story because I’m dying to know.”

“Oh yeah, for sure, man. I’ll cya next time!”

The ground then sucks Venn-El back into the abyss in the form of orbs of light, and then closes completely, swallowing everything up in sight. I use my teleportation rock to get out of the cavern before it collapses on me. I then put the feather in my pouch and pull out a to-do list.

I cross out the feather from the list. Only 304 more steps to go.

I sigh and call for my skeleton steed. This is gonna be a long journey.

#long post #charles writes #writing

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magioftheseas · 4 years

Text

Poppy Tea Consumption

For @badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Be Careful What You Wish For taken from here.

Rating: T

Warnings: Mental instability and implications of violence.

Notes: Reincarnated!Tsukasa and Hanako-kun is too good of an idea to not attempt at least once. So I sure attempted! Tsukasa, of course, is not careful when it comes to what he wishes for at all. This could’ve been so much darker lmao but I wanted my attempt to be more subtle.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

In the old school building, on the third floor within the third stall of the girl’s bathroom, you have to knock on the door three times to contact one Hanako-san. It’s said that whoever succeeds in summoning her will have one wish granted. However, in return, she will seize a precious belonging.

In the past, there have been rumors of successful summons that have resulted in truly unfortunate events. Freedoms taken away, lost loved ones, and even complete ruination. Some girls have even gone missing as a result of contracting Hanako-san. It’s spooky stuff—but the last alleged contact happened over a decade ago. Who knows if it was still true anymore?

He really shouldn’t be up here but he can’t help but be curious. Third floor, third stall. He had to wait for three girls to leave before going in and knocking on the stall door three times.

“Hanako-san, Hanako-saaaaaaan,” he sing-songs. “Are you theeeeere?”

He waited, waited, and waited. He checked his phone. About three minutes passed. Aaaaaaaaand—

Nothing. Snorting, he even knocked again.

“Come oooon,” he whined. “That’s so booooring! Are you there or are you fake?!”

Still nothing. Sullenly, he kicked at the door. It creaked eerily, but that was it.

“So lame,” he grumbled, turning on his heel. “Guess I should just leave.”

Just as he was about to, he felt a chill down his spine, like he was being watched or reached for. He does still—and it happens. Something passes through him, causing him to shudder.

“Here I aaaaam,” a voice drones from behind, high-pitched and surreal.

Excitedly, he spun back around and practically kicked open the door. To his radiant delight, there was someone seated atop the toilet. It clearly wasn’t human—whatever it was had a faded outline and accompanying white will-o-wisps. It may have sat like a person, but...

“Hanako-san, right?!” he exclaimed. “It’s true! You’re real! You’re really real...and you’re also...in pants!”

Actually, ‘Hanako-san’ seemed to be dressed in a boy’s uniform with the hat pulled down so that the face was obscured. It was strange, he mused, tapping his lip curiously. “I didn’t know Hanako-san was a crossdresser, but okay! Stay there! Let me...take a picture!”

He already had his phone out, so it was a matter of angling the shot...making sure he got the will-o-wisps in frame... He snapped the photo, except what showed on his phone was nothing more than a sad, lonely toilet.

“Hmm...” His cheeks puffed as he inquired. “Do you think you can make yourself visible?”

“Is that really what you summoned me for?” Hanako drawls, sounding either cold or irritated. He’s used to that, so he just nods along without a care.

“Yep. My friend’s really into supernatural stuff, and she’s been giving me the cold shoulder lately. I think she’ll play with me again if I give her proof. Also, she’s in the broadcasting club, so it’ll be a cool announcement to make! Hanako-san’s real...! And now another student is at risk of going missing! Hehehe. Being spirited away by a ghost sounds fun! What happens when you spirit people away? Do you eat them? Do you flush them? Do ya, do ya, do ya?”

Hanako’s arms crossed, and the crossed tightly. Oh. Hanako was angry.

Even ghosts get angry with me, huh...

“Anyway!” he went on. “I wish for proof of your existence! That’s it! In return...you can have my pinky! Just the tip!”

Hanako’s lip curls in distaste, and he looks solemnly at his hand, wondering if maybe Hanako wants all the way to the knuckle. Maybe Hanako wants his organs instead. He supposes he can part with some of them, mainly the useless ones...except those wouldn’t have a lot of value, huh...

“You watch not only too much horror movies, but yakuza shows,” Hanako then sighed, sounding quite, quite tired. Like his homeroom teacher or even the principal. Super ancient, too. “I reject your wish.”

Huh?

“I reject it,” Hanako coldly repeated to his wide-eyed stare. “Get out.”

“Huuuuh?! Can you do that?!” But why? Why, why, why? “Why, why, why, why?”

“Enough.”

The room almost shook with the force of that order. Almost like facing down an abusive parent, he was baffled to be in this situation with a crossdressing ghost, of all things. That was strange! So strange!

“Is it a forbidden wish?” He wondered if that was it, even as he wondered-wondered about that. “But, what else am I supposed to wish for? I don’t really care about anything else. I don’t really need anything else...”

“Get out,” Hanako just coldly repeated. “Now.”

“But...” He protested childishly. “But why—?”

“YUGI!!” a voice bellowed, getting his attention. Turning, he could see just how angry and flustered his homeroom teacher was. The man only ever looked that agitated around cars. How strange. “What the hell are you doing in the girl’s bathroom?!”

“I was...” He trailed off. “I was talking to Hanako-san...”

“Honestly,” his teacher griped. “You and your outlandish stories.”

He stopped paying attention, noticing the girl peering inside. She was the calmest one there, as always.

“Sakura!” he exclaimed, rushing to her. “Hanako-san is real! Real and a crossdressing weirdo who won’t grant my wish!”

She catches him when he throws himself at her, whining into her shoulder.

“Hanako-san won’t grant my wish! And Hanako-san won’t even tell me why!”

“Tsukasa-kun,” she sighed, gripping the back of his uniform. “I told you not to cause trouble.”

“But, Sakuraaaaa!”

“That’s enough,” she snapped, stern but never cruel. “Sensei, I’m sorry for him.”

She tugs him away even as he wails.

“I don’t understand at aaaaaall!”

No one else replies. Sakura is dead quiet. But the silence left behind in that girl’s bathroom was thick enough to crush someone like an ant between fingertips.

“Eh... Honorable Seventh...” Tsuchigomori bows his head, clearly shaken and anxious. “You’re pretty angry, huh...?”

“Why would I be?” Hanako returned, eyes wide and vacant. Darker than the deepest abysses. “The living are not my concern.”

“Ah, guess not,” Tsuchigomori murmured, unconvinced. “Still... I’ll take responsibility...and leave.”

Hanako lets him depart, playing with his hat. Once alone, his expression twisted into something truly horrid.

“Even in this life... Tsukasa still...”

“You did something unnecessary again.”

“You were ignoring me,” Tsukasa accused, pouting across the snack table that Sakura set up with tea. “I thought you were mad.”

“Sorry,” Sakura’s mumble was more akin to acquiescing than apologizing. “It was not like that... I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.” Tsukasa waved his hand before reaching out and snatching a sugar cube. “I summoned Hanako-san, and it was suuuuch a disappointment.”

“No one has succeeded in summoning her in over a decade,” Sakura said. “It is not surprising.”

“No, I summoned Hanako-san,” he corrected sharply, smacking the table. “But Hanako-san took one look at me and not only refused my wish but also told me to get out! Do you think Hanako-san was in a bad mood?!”

Sakura blinks at him. She’s never been expressive and he never minded that about her.

“...right.” Her head bows again. “You said something like that earlier.”

“You didn’t pay attention!” he yelled, not angry at all. “You were drowning me out even though I summoned Hanako-san for you!”

“I did not ask you to do that,” Sakura sighed. “I...have made you anxious, yes... I did not think you would be that bothered, Tsukasa-kun.”

“I was!” His voice rises and rises. “I was even more bothered when Hanako-san rejected my wish! Am I that unbearable? I don’t understand! I even offered my pinky tips and everything! And all I wished for was proof! Shouldn’t Hanako-san have wanted the extra traction?! Instead...!”

Sakura sinks into her chair.

“You are...shouting, Tsukasa-kun...”

“I’m so agitated! I don’t understand! I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t!”

He ends up knocking over the tea, causing it to spill all over the table, the decorations, the cookies, and Sakura’s lap. She doesn’t even flinch even though it’s hot. She just stares at her stained blazer and skirt and without another word, gets up and leaves to go wash off. Tsukasa just watches her go sullenly. He laps at the tea, and it has a sour tinge.

Looking at his reflection, he perked up.

Something struck him as weird, really, incredibly weird.

“Hanako-san, Hanako-san, Hanako-san!” He knocks on the door once again. “Grant me! My wish!”

He didn’t get an answer. He pummels the door rapidly.

“I! Know! You’re! There! GRANT ME MY WISH!!!! I CAME UP WITH A NEW ONE! I want a washing machine! A really cool washing machine! And maybe a dryer! Come on! COME ON COME ON COME ON!”

“Um, Yugi-kun...”

He’s interrupted not by Hanako, but by a girl who looks quite annoyed.

“Not that I don’t...get whatever you’re doing...but this is the girl’s bathroom, you know. And Michiru-chan’s been waiting for you to leave.” She in fact looks ready to kill him. “Get out.”

Despite that, she doesn’t sound as angry as Hanako.

“I’ll wait, then!” he exclaimed. “I want Hanako-san to answer me!”

She sighed haggardly and irritably. Nothing like Sakura at all. Her friend, Michiru, is ducked behind her for safety. Tsukasa pays neither of them further mind, just skipping past and standing outside. He doesn’t bother noticing the looks of disdain he gets when the girls leave, instead striding right back inside to start knocking anew.

“Hanako-san, Hanako-san, Hanako-san, HANAKO-SAN!!!”

“Yugi, are you trying to get expelled?”

“Am I gonna get expelled?” he asks innocently. “All I was doing was trying to get Hanako-san to answer.”

Sensei sighed like how everyone else sighed at him. Sighing, sighing, sighing. So many trees must blossom and flourish with so much sighing. They should’ve overtaken the school by now with roots crushing the bricks and branches growing through the windows.

“Hanako-san’s at fault!” he claimed. “Hanako-san knows I’m there but won’t answer! Won’t even grant my wish! Isn’t that Hanako-san’s job?”

“Hanako-san...isn’t real.” Sensei spoke through sharp, gritted teeth. Have they always been sharp? Has Sensei always looked so beastly? Sometimes... Tsukasa wonders if Sensei is actually human. “Stop going into the girl’s bathroom, Yugi. I will not ask again.”

Adults like to give ultimatums and last chances all the time. Tsukasa has no problem calling their bluff because what’s the worst they can do? Hurt him? Kill him?

“If Hanako-san agrees to grant my wish, then fine.” He gave a firm nod. “I’ve already made tons though and Hanako-san doesn’t bite. I’ve asked for pictures, washing machines, candy, donuts, a katanuki stall, ice cream, and a vaulting pole! I’m not sure what else to ask for, maybe a book?”

“Stop this nonsense, Yugi,” Sensai snapped. “It’s gotten out of hand.”

“If a girl wants to use the bathroom, I let her! And I don’t get the big deal—there are stalls anyway and I don’t try to peek!” Tsukasa shot back. “Are you going to tell me it’s harassment? Is Hanako-san going to charge me with harassment?! Hanako-san’s the one not holding up the end of the bargain! You make a wish to Hanako-san and Hanako-san grants it! Why won’t Hanako-san grant my wish?!”

“Because—!” Sensei stopped, coughing into his hand. “Because Hanako-san isn’t real.”

“I saw Hanako-san! Hanako-san spoke to me! Hanako-san is moody and weird and wears a boy’s uniform! I know what I saw, you’re not going to tell me I didn’t see anything when I saw Hanako-san! And Hanako-san was the one who said that my wish was rejected! But, why?! Did I do something wrong? It can’t be because I’m a bad person—even bad people get their wishes granted all the time!”

“Y-Yugi...” Sensei tries, but Tsukasa just screams.

“WHY DOES HANAKO-SAN HATE ME?!”

Sensei doesn’t answer. It occurs to Tsukasa then that this is such a weird thing to be bothered about. But the more the thought about it, the more upset it made him.

After a while, Sensei gathers himself, and just when Tsukasa thinks that he might be comforted, Sensei puts on a stern face.

“Get your things and leave. Consider yourself suspended for a week, Yugi.”

“What?” He’s a lot quieter than usual. The words leave him feeling like his head got stuffed with cotton. “You can’t do that. You’re just a homeroom teacher.”

“And you think it’d be that hard to convince the higher ups?” Sensei asked wryly. It’s less cruel and more matter-of-fact. “You’ve made yourself a nuisance for long enough that they’ll take any reason to be rid of you. You’re lucky this is temporary.”

Tsukasa opened his mouth and shut it. He opened it again. He smiled, showing his teeth.

“But, what am I going to tell my parents?” he asked, his tone of voice sweet.

Sensei stared him down coldly.

“Nothing. You’re not going to tell them anything. Get out before it becomes two weeks, Yugi.”

Still smiling, Tsukasa does just that.

He’s not so badly behaved that he doesn’t stay at least one day at home. He spends most of it alone, drawing on whatever paper he can find even if it’s mail. He doesn’t get scolded. He’s not spoken to at all. Even when the class rep brings him things, they don’t speak to him. He’s pretty sure they don’t like him for that time with the birds and mice. He’s banned from the gardens for that reason, too.

Well, not banned per say, but he gets chased out whenever seen. One of the girls there looks like a fish whenever she gets angry. It’s cute. That’s the kind of girl he’d like but he still likes Sakura best. Sakura, after all, is his friend. That makes her more important than everyone else he interacts with.

He wonders if her dog’s celebrating his break. His entire class probably is. Maybe the entire school is. Maybe they’re all throwing a big huge part with cake and juice and everything, including streamers. Streams of all colors, none for him. They’re all laughing with relief while he’s at home.

In the meantime, Tsukasa draws tunnels. Tunnels upon tunnels that wind around his house like the pipes underground. He’s almost done by the end of the second day. His wrist is killing him too much on the third.

On the fourth night, he breaks into the school.

“And on Thursday, he’s going to break into the school,” Tsuchigomori drones. “I’m gonna catch him and have him expelled. And you won’t have to worry about him ever again.”

Hanako hummed, doing a good job of focusing on his game with the mokke.

“I knew he was going to get expelled, so I thought you wouldn’t ever hear about him,” Tsuchigomori goes to admit, having the decency to look somewhat ashamed as he rubs at his scalp and spins around his pipe. “I was surprised that he tried to summon you, Honorable Seventh.”

Hanako doesn’t say anything to that, but he does look more disappointed than usual when the mokke beat him in cards.

“You’re the one who actually asked, y’know. So, there it is. Pretty mundane and uninteresting. As if it’d be any other way.”

“...sensei.”

Tsuchigomori immediately stiffened. Hanako’s voice was just as sickly sweet as his—as the other Yugi’s.

“What’s going to happen to him after he gets expelled?”

“I’ve told you as much as I’m allowed,” was his answer. “Anything more and my existence will fizzle. You knowing this much was destined, so it’s fine. But you don’t need to know the rest.”

Hanako grinned at him.

“I see. That’s fine, then.”

“It’s fine?” The tone used was very not-fine. It wasn’t a fine tone at all.

“It’s fine. You’re dismissed.”

Climbing over the gate was easy. Picking the lock to the old school building was simple. All that remained was a hop, skip, and a jump up three flights of stairs until he ended up in front of the girl’s bathroom. He shuffled from one foot to the other before stepping inside. He hadn’t encountered a living soul since he broke in, having gotten pretty lucky. It’s not going to mean anything, like that time he won a crane game and his toy got torn to pieces.

He knocks on the third stall door three times.

“Good evening, Hanako-san,” he begins in his best cordial tone taught by Sakura. It probably sounds super lifeless, more lifeless than a fly on its back. “Radio silence this time, too? That’s fine! I brought a radio!”

He sets it and turns it on. It plays nothing but static no matter what channel he flicks it to.

“I found it in a trash heap,” he explains. “Isn’t it cool? I managed to get it to work, too! It’s so ancient, like, like, like from...a century ago! It’s super dirty and smells really funny! Isn’t it the coolest?!”

He presents it with flourish.

“And I’ll give it to you if you just grant my wish!”

He holds it up for a bit. Once three minutes of silence have passed, he throws it to the ground and stomps it to bits.

“Too noisy,” he said, and he sits down so that he can rip apart what remained with his hands. All these wires and jagged metal edges crumble so easily between his twisting fingers. “It’s so damn noisy.”

The bathroom stall is vacant even when he kicks the door open. Tsukasa just sighed, like everyone else.

“I’m so bored,” he laments. “Every day passes by, less interesting than the last. It’s only the superstitions that are different. Y’know? Like how fairies steal your things. How your time can get stolen. How mirrors can show your worst fear and trap you in hell! I like that one a lot! I’ve always wanted to know what it’d show me! I want to know!”

He pauses, sucking in his breath.

“There’s one about the grim reaper taking girls to be his wives. What do you think being married to the grim reaper is like? I bet it’s awful. I bet he’s weird and nasty and girls don’t like looking at him. That’s why he takes so many. Because none of them like him. Nobody likes him. Nobody likes death. Even the people who claim otherwise are big fat liars who are unliked by everyone, too. Because nobody likes liars, even though they lie to themselves all the time.”

He yanks out more wires.

“This world is nothing, which is why I don’t really mind giving up anything. Maybe...that’s why you don’t like me, Hanako-san. It’s fine. I would never wish for people to like me. That’s weird, creepy, and nasty. And super, super pathetic. Only losers would wish for someone else to like them. Why don’t they just change their looks and awful personality if they’re that desperate? I don’t get it. That’d be better than making a wish to some weird, crossdressing toilet ghost.”

His radio is now completely torn to pieces. It’s not even recognizable anymore. It’s worse than junk, and it had been junk when he first found it. He does look back into the empty stall, and he sighs again.

“I wish you’d just talk to me.”

And a flashlight shines on him from the door. He’s not even surprised that it’s Sensei. Sensei, who looks so tired and aggravated.

“Trespassing is illegal, Yugi.”

“Yep,” is his easy answer. “So is vandalism. I broke every potted plant I could find and painted all over the art club’s walls. Am I gonna get expelled now?”

“You aren’t giving anyone a choice now,” Sensei pointed out. “Come with me.”

Smiling, Tsukasa stood.

“Sure thing!”

He skips up to Sensei, beaming at him. Sensei only looks down with even more contempt, but just as Sensei’s long, spidery fingers wrap around his arm...

“Wait.”

It’s Hanako’s voice, but it’s Sensei who waits. Blinking owlishly, Tsukasa sees—that the other is afraid. Afraid and in disbelief.

“C...Come on,” Sensei stutters. “I’m gonna...”

“You’re going to leave,” Hanako says. “But he’s going to stay.”

“H...!”

Tsukasa looks behind him, but no one’s there. Sensei sucks in his breath and then releases his arm with a groan.

“One more chance,” he murmured. “I’ll give you the chance to clean up this mess and get the hell out, Yugi.”

“But what about everything else?” he asked, eyes wide.

“What else?!” Sensei seethed. “You lied about the pots and the walls! The only thing you actually broke was a damn lock that needed to be replaced years ago!” He shoved Tsukasa back. “Clean and then leave. I better not see you until two weeks from now. Have a night nice, Yugi.”

Just like that, he leaves. Just like that, Tsukasa’s left standing there in a state of utmost confusion. He only flinches because a new hand presses lightly against his back, and it’s cold enough to send him into shock. When he turns, it’s to face Hanako floating close by, almost completely obscured by shadow.

“You’re too much trouble for your own good,” Hanako mourns. “Do you care about yourself at all?”

“No, I don’t.” He can’t help but laugh. “I’ve never cared! Not once!”

He can’t see, but the air around them is as cold as it is strangely bitter. Like someone upset enough to will spring into winter. He’s heard about deities who could do that. He doubts Hanako is a deity. Hanako-san is just...weird.

“Do you care, Hanako-san? I can’t believe you even ordered Sensei around like that. Since when was Sensei your subordinate?” He’s vibrating with excitement and a sparkling gaze. “I always thought Sensei didn’t seem very human! Even his name is super suspicious! What other supernatural beings are among us? Do you know if there are aliens, too?!”

“There are no aliens,” Hanako said flatly. “Not that I’m aware of.”

“There’s things even Hanako-san doesn’t know?! Or are you hiding something?! Tell me, tell me, tell me!” He exclaimed it until he went breathless, and after a while, he realized. “Oh, right... I wished for you to talk to me and you’ve already...done that. Am I going to get spirited away now? Is that why you kept me from getting expelled?”

He’d miss Sakura, at least, but it’s fine.

“Whatever you take is fine,” he said. “I don’t mind.”

“I’m not taking anything.” Hanako flicked his forehead. “There’s nothing from you that I could possibly want. If I had to make any demands, it was that you stop calling me a crossdresser. I wear this because I’m actually a guy.”

“A guy...haunting the girl’s bathroom? You’re not a weirdo, you’re a pervert. Okay.” He didn’t really care. “What do you mean you don’t want anything?”

“What I mean is...” Hanako is suddenly close enough to make his head spin. The contours of Hanako’s face was fuzzy, but his eyes—his eyes were uncomfortably, almost achingly bright. “Yugi Tsukasa, there’s nothing you could ever have that I could ever want. I was not fulfilling your wish when I chose to speak to you. It was merely a whim. It meant nothing to me.”

“Nothing, huh...” The brightness of that gaze threatened to burn him alive, like ants under a microscope. He wondered—how many insects did he squash without a care? How many did he just stare down at with dullness and contempt? If those mindless drones had any feelings whatsoever, they might understand how he feels right now. But why would they? They’re ants. “Okay. I’m just gonna get expelled another way. Everyone else already likes it best when I’m not around, after all. Even Sakura.”

He pulls away so that he can start picking up the pieces of his radio and tossing them. He hums, plucking them one at a time. There was a lot of pieces, but he took his time. It didn’t matter how long it took, because no one was going to use the bathroom at this hour. Or on this day.

Sometimes the moonlight filtered through the window and caught onto the gleaming pieces of metal. He paused to admire them, stopping when he realized the sight was such a pale comparison to that of the true night sky.

“Hanako-san,” he says. “What do you think of the stars? Aren’t they pretty? I read up on constellations and stuff, too. Did you know if you went to space without a suit that aaaaaall the air would be sucked out like a vacuum? It’d be like—boom! Rapture!”

“Rupture,” Hanako corrected softly, sounding a lot like Sakura.

“Space is mostly empty, but it takes light soooo long to travel across that we never see the stars as they currently are. We only see them like, many, many, many, many years ago,” he explained. “In all that time, the star might not even be there anymore. Oh, but we’d see right away if the moon ever blew up! And then, we’d all die because it’d rain so much flaming debris and cause so many shockwaves! I wonder what that actually looks like. Raining fire would be...”

He was so caught up in his rambling that he ended up slicing his finger on one of the jagged pieces. He stops himself at the sting. He doesn’t cry, however, just staring at the injury, squinting at it before he lapped at it. Without thinking, he wipes it down on the front of his uniform, no doubt staining it with red.

He hears the intake of breath, but maybe it’s just the wind. Wasn’t the window a tiny bit open...? He does feel a cold breeze for a moment—and a deathly chill the next.

“Wah! C-Cold...!”

He tried to get up to close the window, but he’s pulled back before he can. The sudden bout of resistance in the very air was strange, it was almost as if he was being—

“Hanako-san...?”

Oh. Hanako was embracing him. Hanako was embracing him from behind, holding him so tightly that he couldn’t move.

“Waaah, cold!” he whines. “I bet it’s colder than spaaace!”

He does squirm a bit. Hanako’s like a block of ice, so it’s hard to generate any amount of warmth. Maybe this is what being spirited away is like?

But Hanako-san just said...

Hanako sighs into his ear.

“Oh, Tsukasa. You’re still the same.”

Tsukasa blinks as he’s then squeezed. Hanako just holds him. He holds him and holds him even to the point where Tsukasa’s breath turns into visible puffs of white. He shivers, and Hanako just continues to hold him. There’s no heartbeat against his back, and more shudders go down his spine.

“I’m sorry, Tsukasa,” Hanako says, and the apology doesn’t feel like it’s for him. Not at all. “I just...”

“Who...” Tsukasa can only manage one response. “W-Who are you talking to...?”

Everything pulses. It’s so freezing that his body is spasming, and he can only recognize distantly that he’s started crying.

“Ah.” Hanako, too, sounds so far away despite still being so close. “It’ll be alright, Tsukasa. It’s not like you’re going to remember this.”

Through blurring shapes and tears, he can somehow tell that Hanako’s fingers are nearing his face.

“No...!” Try as he might, he can’t escape. “No, no, no, no—! Don’t—!”

A name claws its way up his throat, scrambles up his tongue, but before he can even choke on the first syllable...

Hanako trails his fingertips down from his hairline to his forehead. It’s almost affectionate. He barely has time to register the sad smile on Hanako’s face—that face which looked...so familiar...as familiar as his own...

Who are you?

Everything falls into black.

Tsuchigomori doesn’t say anything, just keeping his head ducked subserviently. Tsukasa sleeps without a care, but it won’t be that way for long, so they have to hurry.

“Can you have him brought back to wherever he lives?” he asked, getting straight to the point. “You can, right? You wouldn’t let me down.”

“I’d have to ask Nagisa,” Tsuchigomori sighed, rubbing his head irritably with three different hands. “He’s sympathetic to the kid, maybe overly so.”

“That’s nice,” Hanako says cheekily. “I envy him, then, for having such nice teachers.”

Tsuchigomori won’t meet that probing stare, and he avoids the kid too, for that matter. What happens between that kid and Honorable Seventh isn’t his business, even if that kid’s his student. He’d been resigned to that since the day that they met and he nearly went into shock at the sight of curious amber eyes blinking up at him.

That kid had the same grin as back then, nothing like how Honorable Seventh used to be.

“I almost pulled a knife on him again,” Hanako laughs like it’s a funny joke. “How do you think he would’ve reacted?”

The way Hakujoudai vibrate give away how truly aggravated and agitated the seventh wonder was. So, Tsuchigomori elects to remain silent. He pretends not to notice the look Hanako gives to the kid now curling up as he slept.

“...take good care of him, sensei.”

It’s a soft request, spoken with emotion and meaning burrowed deep into the bones. Hanako tugs off his hat, mournfully regarding his once brother. It’s meant to be a gesture of finality, but Tsuchigomori knows without reading ahead that it was only that. A hollow gesture.

This was someone who changed the future once before, after all.

#Magi fics #bad things happen bingo #jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #bad things bingo

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tennanth · 5 years

Text

Homecoming | Peter Parker x Reader

Paring: Peter Parker x f! reader

Warning(s): fluff

Summary: Reader is enlisted in the navy, and is surprising everyone at the compound for Christmas.

A/N: Hi! Hello! This is my first post on here, so go easy on me! Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 3.7k

"Daddy! Daddy! Look! It's Uncle Steve!" Peter looked up from his phone, seeing his little girl come running up to him.

He took the comic out of her hands, smiling at the bubbly girl. "Yeah, it is." Peter looked at Aubrey with a playful stern look. "Did you find this in mine and Mommy's closet?" The six year old held a bashful look as she sheepishly smiled.

"Yeah.." Peter just smiled. He stood up, picking Aubrey up in his arms. He placed a kiss to her blonde hair that was pulled back neatly into a ponytail by Natasha.

Aubrey took the comic from her father's hands, pointing at the words above the super soldier as she tried to read the printed letters. "Cap...ca...captain?" She looked up at her father for approval.

Peter nodded his head, giving her an encouraging smile. "That's right, keep going, princess." Her brown orbs looked back down to the paper, continuing in her attempt to read.

"A...amew..ica?" Peter smiled. She still had a little trouble pronouncing her R's. Just then, none other than the Captain himself walked in.

"Captain Amewica!" The little girl spoke, proud of herself for learning the words. "Captain America? I'm right here!" Steve spoke, earning a bright smile and wide eyes from the girl in Peter's arms.

Peter let Aubrey down, allowing her to run up to her uncle and receive a strong hug. Bucky walked in a second later, Peter's second child holding his metal hand. Beckett waved at his father, giving him the best smile he could with a thumb in his mouth.

The little boy walked over to his father, who picked him up and held him in his arms. "C'mon, buddy. You gotta stop sucking on that." Peter spoke softly to the small boy, gently pulling the thumb out of his mouth.

"Did you have fun with Uncle Steve and Uncle Bucky?" Beckett nodded, a bright smile lightening his face. "What'd you do?"

"Uhm, we, we went to the pizza place, an- and then we went to the park! And we played on the swings and the jungle gym and Uncle Steve helped me climb the monkey bars!" The six year old let out a small laugh, causing Peter to grow a smile of his own.

"Well, why don't you go play with your sister, hmm? Maybe we'll get to call Mommy later and talk to her." The boy's face brightened as his father put him back on the ground. The twins ran back to their bedroom to play with their toys (and most likely convince Uncle Thor to play superhero).

Peter walked over to Steve and Bucky, holding the old comic in his hands.

"She get into 'em?" Peter nodded, looking at the two men. "Yeah. Can't blame her. I find myself looking at these from time to time, well, when I have the time." He let out a small chuckle.

Natasha walked into the room, Wanda trailing behind her. "Where'd she go?" Peter pointed to the children's room. "We were making cupcakes she was gonna help us decorate." Natasha let out a laugh as she trucked up to their room. Wanda returned to the kitchen to watch over the soon-to-be-decorated cupcakes.

Meanwhile, you were packing your suitcase. It was Christmas Eve, and you had told everyone at the compound you were going on another deployment.

You were actually packing to head back to New York to surprise everyone for Christmas. You had told Peter you were about to go on another deployment, just incase they called while you were packing and questioned it.

"Hey," You looked to the doorway, seeing Samantha leaning against the doorframe. You gave her a smile before folding the t-shirt you were holding. "You tell Tony yet?" You shook your head.

Your plan was to tell Tony and only Tony that you were coming home for Christmas to surprise everyone. You hadn't told him yet, since you know he isn't one for keeping secrets.

"Don't you think you should? I mean, your flight leaves at 10:30 tonight." You and Samantha shared a laugh before heading to the kitchen where she had prepared lunch.

"I'll tell him, when my flight lands." Samantha snorted. You picked up your own plate of bratwurst and chips and sat down at the table, Samantha close in tow.

"I'm so excited to see them again." You looked up at your roommate, taking a bite of the bratwurst after you spoke.

You had been stationed in Norfolk, Virginia for the past year, going on one very long deployment with few calls while you were out at sea. You had called Peter and the twins almost every night you'd been in the states, just in case you had to leave again for another six months.

You were ecstatic at just the thought of being able to hug all three of them. To be able to hold your children in your arms, hug them and kiss them and tell them you loved them dearly. To hug and kiss and cuddle your husband. You loved serving your country, but there was more than one downside to being away from them.

You finished up your lunch, walking back to your bedroom to finish packing. As you folded and placed a pair of jeans in your suitcase, your phone rang, showing a FaceTime call from your loving husband.

You smiled, picking up the small device and pressing accept call.

"Hi Mommy!" Your smile widened as three faces covered your screen. "Hi babies!"

Your children were delighted to see you and hear your voice, even if you had talked to them just last night.

"How are you two?" You spoke in your enthusiastic mother voice. The children both replied with 'good!', continuing on to share their day.

You learned that Aubrey had baked and decorated cupcakes with Aunt Nat and Aunt Wanda, and Beck had spent the day playing in the snow with Uncle Steve and Uncle Bucky.

"I put little snowmen and snowflakes on the cupcakes! And I made one for you too!" Your heart warmed at Aubrey's words. Your little girl ran off screen to fetch said cupcake, coming back with a chocolate cupcake in her hands.

"That's you! You're on the boat!" You smiled, thanking her and telling her how beautiful it looks.

Sooner rather than later, it became 7:30, a time you preferred your children to be going to bed. Peter, being the wonderful dad he is, told them to get ready for bed and maybe they'll get a story before bed.

The two rushed off camera to put on their pajamas and brush their teeth, leaving you and your husband to talk for a few.

"Yeah, Aubrey got into your old comic books again." Peter spoke, resulting in small laughter from the two of you. You stared at your husband's face on the screen, thinking about how you'll see him in less than 24 hours.

"I really miss you, babe. All of us here do." You smiled softly. "I know, and I miss you guys. But I'll be home before you know it, don't you worry." Peter chuckled, taking a sip of his soda from his dinner.

You checked the time on your watch, seeing it was 7:45. "Well, you should head in there so they don't get impatient." You spoke, referring to the twins. Peter nodded. "Yeah."

"Hey," Peter looked at you. "I love you, so so much. All three of you." Peter smiled, his brown eyes brightening in the dim light of yours and his bedroom. "I love you too."

You soon ended the call, returning to your packing. Silent tears fell from your eyes at the thought of finally, after almost a year and a half, you'd be able to see your family again.

~~~~~

Soon enough, 9:30 rolled around, the time for Samantha and her husband, Oliver, to drive you to the airport.

Their SUV rolled up to the terminal door, the three of you exiting the vehicle.

You pulled your suitcase and carry on out of the trunk, placing the straps of your book bag on your shoulders. Samantha and Oliver took turns giving you a hug.

"Merry Christmas," Samantha spoke in your ear, hugging you tightly. As you pulled away, you gave her a warm smile, one that said 'thank you for everything.'

"Now, go surprise your family!" You let out a laugh, adjusting your blue camouflage hat. You grabbed a hold of your suitcase handle, rolling it behind you as you walked into the airport.

Soon enough, you finally sat down in your seat on the plane, letting out a breath as you took off your hat, placing it in your lap.

"Going home for Christmas?" You looked to your right, seeing an old man sitting beside you. You gave him a kind smile, nodding. "Yeah, surprising my family." You fiddled with the brim of your hat.

"Well, thank you for your service, ma'am." You smiled even more, getting comfortable in your seat. The plane soon took off, flying into the dark abyss towards New York.

~~~~~

"Ma'am, ma'am," Your head shot up, looking around as your eyes adjusted to the light.

You looked up, seeing a flight attendant beside you. "The plane has landed." You gave her a smile before placing your hat on top of your head, removing your carry on from the over-head compartment and removing yourself from the aircraft.

Your boots padded on the floor of the terminal, weaving your way through the crowds coming and going. Soon enough, you reached the baggage claim, searching for your dark brown suitcase.

A bright red tag caught your eyes as it moved past. You picked it up, seeing the white Avengers logo on the front, with your information on the back of the tag.

You walked to the nearest Starbucks, ordering a tall apple cider and finding a place to sit. You pulled out your phone, preparing to call Tony to come pick you up.

While you searched for his contact, a different face popped up on your screen. An audio call was coming in from Peter.

"Hello?" You pressed the phone to your ear, hoping Peter couldn't hear the crowd in the background.

"M-Mommy?" Aubrey's quiet voice filled your ears, making your heart break at how sad she sounded. "Yes baby? Is everything okay?"

"N-no.." Your face softened. "What's wrong, Aubey?"

"Someone woke up crying about how Mommy isn't gonna be home for Christmas." Somehow, someway, your heart broke even more. "Aww, sweetheart,"

The next twenty minutes consisted of consoling your little girl, eventually resulting in her falling asleep while talking about school. "Okay, she's out. I'm gonna head to bed before I fall asleep talking to you." You let out a laugh at your husband.

"Okay, love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, baby."

You ended the call, silently wishing they knew you were coming home. But that's what a surprise is all about, right? Not knowing?

You finally called Tony, pressing the phone up to your ear. As the phone rang, you checked your watch, seeing it was 15 to midnight.

"Boss, you have an incoming call." Friday woke up the billionaire, alerting him of your call.

Tony picked up his phone, seeing your face cover the screen. "Hello?" He spoke, slight annoyance in his voice.

"Hey, Tony, I need you to pick me up." Tony's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "What?"

"Yeah, I'm at JFK. Come pick me up. Don't tell anyone though, it's a surprise." Tony could hear your smile through the phone, and you didn't have enough time to hear his, since you ended the call before he could respond.

Tony jumped out of bed, dressing himself in jeans and an old band t-shirt. "Friday, find the quickest route to JFK." And with that, Tony speed walked out the door the quietest he could, successfully not waking anyone up.

You stood outside the terminal doors, searching for Tony's orange Audi R8. You checked your watch again, seeing it was now almost 12:30.

Soon enough, the car pulled up next to you, a familiar face exiting the car. You smiled as you let go of your suitcase, walking towards Tony with open arms.

Tony hugged you tightly. "Welcome home, kid."

The entire way back consisted of non-stop joking and catching up, the way a pair of friends would after being separated for almost a year and a half.

"So, nobody else knows?" Tony spoke, glancing at you. You shook your head.

"Nope. No one. Not even Peter knows." You rubbed your hands together, creating some heat with your palms. Snow fell lightly outside the car, covering the snow that already covered the grass.

"They'll be really happy to see you. I know the twins have been upset the past couple days, but Peter," Tony paused.

"This has been the longest you've been without seeing each other, right?" You nodded. "Yeah."

Tony let out a sigh. "It shows. Peter has been a little sad this entire time you've been gone, but once Thanksgiving rolled around, it finally started taking a toll on him." You looked down in your lap, fidgeting your thumbs.

"He'll be the happiest to see you, I hope you know that." You smiled softly. "Yeah," You looked outside once more. "I know."

~~~~~

The compound soon came into view, a rush of excitement and happiness coursing through your veins as Tony parked the car in front.

Tony reached for your suitcase before you stopped him. "Tony, please. I'm in the navy, I can carry my own things." Tony let out a chuckle, raising his hands in surrender and took a step back.

You picked up your bag, wrapping the straps around your shoulders. You then pulled out your suitcase, pulling the handle up all the way.

You looked up at the building. No lights were on inside, signaling no one was awake. Which, was a good thing. You weren't surprising just Peter and the twins, you were surprising everyone.

You and Tony started to walk towards the door. You glanced to your left at all the parked cars, seeing the truck you shared with Peter. You smiled, let out a breath into the cold air, and walked inside.

The warmth of the compound hugged your body, warming up your cold figure. The dog tags on your neck chilled your chest, still cold from being outside.

You wiped your boots on the mat, making sure to not leave a trail of snow in the building for two reasons. One, so Tony wouldn't kill you, and two, in case anyone woke up for a glass of water and came downstairs, just to be met with a trail of boot-shaped snow-prints.

In the living room, the Christmas tree lit up the small corner of the room it was in. There were presents under the tree, most of them marked To Aubrey, From Santa, or To Beckett, From Santa.

You walked over to the tree, quietly setting down your book bag and opening it up, taking out three more presents. You set the gifts front and center, to make sure everyone saw them.

You had gotten the twins each a stuffed bear, Aubrey's wearing a navy uniform similar to the one you were wearing, and Beck's wearing a t-shirt saying 'U.S. Navy' with an anchor in the middle. You placed the bears next to their respective presents.

Inside of the boxes for each of the twins was something you had gotten when you were little, when your own father was deployed.

You had ordered the With You All The Way deployment kits about a week ago, keeping it a secret from Peter to make sure of their surprise. Inside the boxes was a teddy bear with pilot gear, dog tags, an activity book, postcards, and a dvd for them to watch. The kit helped you when you were little, so you thought it might help your own kids.

But for Peter's gift? Inside his own box was a mug that had 'Proud Navy Husband' printed on one side, a dog tag set that had 'Our Love Is Deployment Strong' engraved, and a gray t-shirt that read 'I am a proud Navy Husband,' with a sailor silhouette next to it.

You were proud of yourself for picking out these presents. You were excited to watch them open the gifts from a far, and then walk around the corner and see everyone's faces when they saw you were home for Christmas.

You stood up, picking your bag up and slinging one strap on your shoulder. You started to walk out of the room, one certain photo catching your eyes.

You picked up the frame, smiling at the memory. It was the four of you in Virginia, visiting the beach the summer before you were deployed for the first time.

You quietly set the frame down and carefully made your way up the stairs and to the guest bedroom, where you would be sleeping for the night.

You set your bag and suitcase down by the door, sitting on the bed and taking your boots and hat off. You let out a tired sigh.

Turning on the screen, your phone read 1:15am, December 25th, 2034. You looked at your wallpaper, seeing the day you left for deployment, almost a year and a half ago. You hugged the twins tightly, tears had been streaming down all three of your faces, including Peter, who took the picture.

You quickly changed out of your camouflage, putting on a pair of gray sweats and a navy blue t-shirt, with Navy written on the front in gold letters.

You got underneath the covers, making yourself comfortable for the night.

~~~~~

"Daddy! Daddy! Wake up! It's Christmas!" Peter was woken up the next morning by two little kids jumping on his bed. Peter let out a chuckle, now wide awake at his children's antics.

Aubrey jumped on her father's legs while Beck sat next to them, a large smile on his face. The (h/c) girl looked to her brother.

"Beck! Let's go see if Santa came!" The brunette nodded quickly, following his sister out of their parent's room. Peter let out a sigh as he sat up. "Don't touch any of the presents!"

Peter stood up and stretched, looking at the picture of the two of you on the nightstand. He smiled sadly, twirling his ring around his finger. He wished you were there.

He walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs to see everyone walking in, yawning, stretching, or, like Thor and the twins, excitedly sitting down in front of the tree, patiently waiting to open presents. Peter let out a chuckle, walking into the kitchen where freshly brewed coffee sat.

He took a cup of the coffee, walking back into the living room to join the others. Just as the twins started to reach for their stockings, Tony stopped them. "Wait! I have to get something!" He then ran out of the room, making his way to wake you up.

A knock on your door sounded. You had already been awake for the past half hour, dressed and ready to go for today. You could barely wait anymore to see everyone. You had put on your uniform from last night, your hair in a tight bun as the blue camo hat sat on top, your black boots laced tightly.

"Yes?" You spoke, opening the door a smidge to see Tony. "Twins are about to open presents, thought I'd let you know." Tony pointed towards the living room.

You nodded, a wide smile making it's appearance on your face. You quietly followed Tony out the door, taking a seat at the island in the kitchen, a spot where you could see everyone, but they couldn't see you. Mostly because they were focused on everything else going on around them.

Finally, it came down to the last three presents; the ones from you. "Look Daddy! He's wearing Mommy's clothes!" Aubrey showed the bear to her father. Peter held a bright smile, one you could stare at for hours on end. "Yeah, he is."

The twins took turns opening their gifts from you, Aubrey going first, and then Beckett. They both absolutely loved the teddy bears, the ones inside the box and the ones directly from you. "I'm gonna name him Jet," Beck spoke, holding the bear from WYATW.

Peter picked up his gift, opening and reading the note on top out loud. "'Peter, open this gift after the twins have opened theirs.' Well, they did. So I'm gonna open this now." A laugh erupted from the entire room, including a quiet one from you.

Peter opened the box, unwrapping the mug first. He smiled as he read the print out loud. And his smile only widened as he opened the other two gifts. He immediately put the dog tags around his neck.

Finally, Peter opened the card you had stuck at the bottom of the box, reading the print out loud. "'Peter, Merry Christmas! I hope you and the twins love your gifts, I picked them out from the Navy Exchange here in Virginia haha. I miss all three of you, and I know how much you wanted me to be home for Christmas. So please, if you would, shout 'Underoos' for me. I love you! I miss you! (y/n).'"

Peter held a questionable face as he folded the card up, looking up around the room. "Um, okay. Underoos!" There's your queue.

You walked out of the kitchen, into the sight of everyone else. Peter immediately spotted you, his mouth hanging open as tears filled his eyes. He stood up, making his way over to you.

Peter's strong arms wrapped around your body, engulfing you in a tight hug. Tears streamed down both of your faces as you reluctantly pulled away, sharing a sweet kiss that had been waited for for too long. "Mommy!"

Two pairs of arms wrapped around your legs. Your smile widened as you kneeled down, engulfing both of your babies in your arms. "I've missed you two, so so much," You spoke, tears streaming down your face as you hugged them tightly.

As you pulled away, Aubrey accidentally knocked your hat off, causing the two of you to laugh. "Oopsie, sorry Mommy," You kissed her cheek.

"It's okay, baby. I don't need to wear it right now." You stood up, placing your hat on the table. The rest of that day(and the following week) was filled with lots of love, laughter, and catching up.

And you couldn't be happier.

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mnemehoshiko · 6 years

Text

Star Wars: The Last Jedi [BULLETPOINT TRASH EDITION]

A SPOILERS AND OPINIONS ABOUND AND POOR FORMATTING CHOICES

(with bonus citing of external canon sources mainly the visual dictionary leaks)

Short version: I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE ON SO MANY LEVELS AND IASDFSDFDASFASDSFDSFDSFSSAFDSADFSDF

Long version:

I enjoyed TFA. But it was very much a safe remake movie because JJ can literally only do remakes and monster movies. I’m also still bitter over Into Darkness BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE HERE FOR SO I’M GONNA MOVE ON.

I really enjoyed Rogue One. It broke new ground etc etc but it had the freedom to do that because it wasn’t dependent on anything ultra important.

TLJ had the awkward positioning of figuring out how to move the main story forward in new and interesting ways AND not remake ESB. And I’m going to be super honest, I was 20% certain they were going to go Rey Skywalker??? Mainly because fanboys are amazingly uncreative but also because it would be a very safe way to go. Ohhhhh, of course Rey has the force. It’s because she’s of the Skywalker bloodline. ALL MAKES SENSE IN THE WORLD AGAIN.

As soon as Luke tossed that saber off the cliff, I knew that all my expectations were going to be subverted. AND IT WAS AMAZING!!!!

AND ON THE TOPIC OF LUKE, there seems to be two camps the

HELL YEAH LUKE SKYWALKER camp or the

OMG RIAN YOU RUINED STAR WARS AND LUKE ANDFS@#EWREWRWE camp, to which I’m like

so like did you watch the Original Trilogy my dudes?

No really did you watch the “OMG SHE’S PRETTY WE TOTALLY NEED TO RESCUE HER!!”

the “WELP BRB HEADING TO DAGOBAH WITH NO WARNING BECAUSE REASONS!!!!”

“NO WAIT MY FRIENDS NEED MY HELP SORRY GOTTA GO”

“BRB I JUST GOT MY WORLD VIEW TRAUMATIZED AND I NEED TO FALL IN THE ABYSS LIKE AN EXTRA (TM) BITCH”

“OH HEY I’M GONNA FIGHT MY DAD IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO TRAINING WHATSOEVER BECAUSE YOLOOOOOOOOO”

like Luke Skywalker lives on impulse

much like his father

like according to the visual dictionary, Leia was supposed to be his first student and she like said no due to like politics and family stuff

but lbr she probably looked at Luke YOLO Skywalker and was like....yeah no my dude you are a messssss

never be the first grad student

also like IF REYSKY was a thing

you’re basically saying

YES I WANT MY HERO LUKE SKYWALKER

TO DROP A KID OF A SANDY WASTELAND THAT EVEN HE BELIEVES IS NOWHERE

which like my dude, he’s from Tatooine and if he’s saying Jakku is nowhere. then like that place is like purgatory

like I STRONGLY BELIEVE if like Rey was his kid he AT LEAST would have dropped her

somewhere with reliable foster parents

and like water

LOTS OF WATER

OKAY I’M DONE RANTING ABOUT THIS

ANYWAY like I can totally believe with like Luke seeing the #darkness + probably Snoke’s influence in his head his immediate response was OMG WE GOTTA KILL IT and then went...oh wait this....is not a chill idea maybe we should talk shit out first/meditate etc

and like IMMEDIATE REGRET AFTERWARDS

honestly this is like textbook Male Skywalker bullshit 101

I HAVE DONE A THING!!! i regret everything now

THIS IS A HORRIBLE SEGUE BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY AVENGING SPACE ANGEL LEIA ORGANA!!!!!

*CRIES A LOT*

RIAN JUST LOVES LEIA AND CARRIE SO MUCH

*UGLY SOBBING*

LEIA USED THE FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

EAT IT FANBOYS!!!

FUCKING IT!!!

LIKE I KNEW BUT LIKE PURE PROOF IN FUCKING CANON

LEIA! IS! FUCKING! FORCE! SENSITIVE!!!!!

also i’m 99% certain Luke didn’t teach it her that trick so like my homegirl literally DID THAT

i just love leia so fukcing much and yes okay the cgi was kind of wonky BUT I DON’T GIVE A FUCK BECAUSE MY GENEARAL/PRINCESS JUST USED THE FORCE LIKE A BOSS THAT SHE IS

Also i just love Leia so much in this

like That Shot on Crait with her eyes over the collar is like

POETIC CINEMA

no really someone hook a girl up and give me that shot as a lock screen

Also that scene post mutiny showing up in a 3000-thread count couture bathrobe, a matching cane, and blaster? #AESTHETIC

also personal opinion but Billie Lourd in that scene wasn’t acting as much as oh god i’m in trouble face that all children go through

**MORE UGLY SOBBING*

OKAY LETS TALK ABOUT POE ONLY BECAUSE IT’S MY BLOG AND I DO WANT I WANT

*steps on step stool*

I DID NOT CARE ABOUT POE DAMERON IN TFA BECAUSE IT WAS SUPER OBVIOUS THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND ONLY GOT TO LIVE BECAUSE OSCAR ASKED JJ TO LIVE AND OSCAR ISAAC IS PRETTY BUT LIKE THAT’S ALL I GOT OUT OF THE MOVIE.

*climbs off soapbox* Poe in this film GAINED SOME DEPTH, sadly it seems to be very polarizing and I think that’s in part due to the fact that it’s pulling on backstory from the EU, primarily Shattered Empire and the Poe Dameron Comics. Shattered Empire doesn’t directly include Poe but it involves his parents, Shara Bey and Kes Dameron. His mom, Shara, went on a mission with Leia and some others for some reason I can’t remember BUT ANYWAY SHE’S A BOSS. A HERO OF THE REBELLION. Poe literally grew up around heroes. One of his squad mates in Poe Dameron is another hero from the rebellion. He has a very wide-eyed view on the concept of heroism? For him it’s daring deeds and important war-changing missions, he’s very much a soldier and not at a leader. At least not yet. You get this immediately from the fight scene with First Order and the bombing run and the aftermath of it.

Poe sees what’s in front of him which is a destroyed Star Destroyer (?), Leia sees the whole picture which is a single ship destroyed at the cost of a significant part of their fleet. Yes, there were heroes but a resistance can’t survive on dead heroes.

You see this again in his willingness to go after the high-risk plan to somehow hack the main ship to get them to stop tracking them. He’s thinking YES THIS IS THE BOLD PLAN MISSION OF MY DREAMS!!! Except it fails, and yes I completely understand that this could have been avoid with like communication but to embark on communication? You need to let go of your ego. Ego is not a BAD THING, but sometimes it can prevent us from being our best self. The best leader we can be. And Poe does learn this as you can see with Leia passing the baton of leadership to Poe on Crait. As Poe realizes that a dramatic last stand isn’t worth the loss. It’s better to run to let the rebellion live than to die in a burst of glory. Those are the hard choices a leader has to make.

OKAY MOVING ON BECAUSE I SUCK AT TRANSITIONS, LETS TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY SONS, FINN TICO

I LOVE MY SON AND HIS TRANSITION FROM BEING A MERE FIRST ORDER DEFECTOR TO A MEMBER OF THE REBELLION !!!!!!! First I loved the fact that his characterization followed naturally from TFA which TO RECAP consisted of:

realizing that the First Order is a horrible idea;

getting the fuck out via some convenient pilot dude who (supposedly) dies;

meeting a girl who STRAIGHT UP ATTACKS HIM under the hearsay of a droid

realizing she’s the BEST THING SINCE TROOPER RATIONS and attempting to flirt because running away from a organization is best done in at least a pair

getting caught up in Resistance nonsense you are 1000% Not Here for because YOU KNOW THE FIRST ORDER and you know losing odds

aforementioned Girl is taken by the First Order and you’re like WELP GUESS I GOTTA TEMPORARILY JOIN this horrible idea to save girl

Tries to save girl but gets knocked out

END OF MOVIE

TLJ PICKS UP immediately after this in which his first and only thought is FIND REY AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS NONSENSE. THIS IS NOT WORTH DYING FOR Y’ALL ARE CRAZY. Which lets be real, you’re dealing with an organization.....that can destroy an entire space system that you have personal experience with. You’ve just been attacked by the First Order, the Resistance is worse off than they were BEFORE YOU WENT TO (attempt) SAVE REY. Finn’s main priority is WELP THIS IS A LOSING CAUSE GONNA GET MY FRIEND AND BOUNCE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT HER TO DIE.

Then it hit’s him like a shock. Figuratively and literally because Rose shows up.

BEFORE I TALK ABOUT ROSE I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT PAIGE ALSO KNOWN AS i was pretty sure she was gonna die but it felt natural-ish and I also know need to buy Cobalt Squadron for like TICO SISTER FEELS. But during that bombing run you immediately got the sense of

what she was doing was already extremely risky

YOU’RE IN SHIP FULL OF BOMBS

and that her last moments were of someone incredibly important to her

and like eventually TO ALL OF US AND MEEEE

I’m going to be honest and say that this plot was probably the weakest for the audience and for me. I understood what they were trying to cover but I feel some sections got cut for the final version.

BUT BACK TO CHARACTERS, FINN!!!!

had to deal with the struggle of moving past Rey as his sole guiding focus of his story?

Also people are like OMG WHY IS HE SO WIDE EYED ON CANTO BIGHT?!?! THAT’S OOC!!!

and i’m like my dudes

he’s never been outside of the pod of stormtroopers like EVER

HE’S FROM A LIFE OF MONOCHROME AND NOW INFUSED IN A LIFE OF COLOR

Finn: OMG THIS PLACE IS AWESOME Rose: this place is trash and I’m gonna fight it

Also can I give a shout out to that section where he’s explaining the plan to Poe and like Rose is like AHEM I’M HAPPY TO HAVE A FELLOW NERD BUT ALSO I CAN TALK!!!!

Poe on the otherhand is like....ah yes...cute nerds are talking....OH WE CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP FOR FREEDOM!!! YES SOUNDS GREAT!!!

Also his interactions with DJ are essentially him seeing a potential future for himself

and like trash meta moment, unlike Kylo “I Make Poor Life Choices” Ren, he makes the decision to reject that future for himself.

Like Finn’s arc in this movie I would argue is to stop being a passive observer in the narrative and to start CLAIMING his space in the narrative that is Star Wars

like FANON!Finn is very much the Resistance automatically accepting him and him become The Dude in The Resistance

this movie ACTUALLY DID THE CHARACTER WORK for him to become a leader in the Resistance

Look I really love Finn and he finally got the character development he deservessssss

MOVING ON TO MY NEWEST DAUGHTER!!!!

ROSE!!! TICO!!! BEST DAUGHTER!! GOOD DAUGHTER!!! MY SMOL ENGINEER!!

Okay, first off. I will like forever and ever be thankful to Rian for casting Kelly Marie Tran SO JOT THAT SHIT DOWN

BUT MNEME SHE ABUSED--

finish that sentence and i will unhinge my maw to consume your filthy soul

AHEM, I mean you’re entitled to your opinions

which are wrong

SERIOUSLY THO, every time someone goes “Rose straight-up shocked a black boy till he passed out!!!!!” I’m like

okay one, he’s canonically 23 years old

like as a black woman and one with a little brother I’m very cognizant of the impact of black violence in media and the constant view of black boys as adults

but also HE’S 23

two, Rey straight up clobbered him under the hearsay of BB-8 saying that “oh that dude has my dad’s jacket” compared to Rose catching him escaping via escape pods after catching 2/3 people doing the same thing earlier that day + losing her only living family

like if this is the hill you want to die on!?!?!?!?

I JUST REALLY ROSE BECAUSE SHE’S THE ENGINEER TAKE NO SHIT DISNEY PRINCESS OF MY COLD DEAD HEART SPACE

I just she’s so quick and smart but get put into the ANTI-SOCIAL ASSHOLE BOX???

like yes she’s very good and detailed at her job

She also wants to fight everyone

like if i wrote an academia au (but Mneme you do---) she would be like the HELLO CLASS THIS IS OUR EXAM ALSO BONUS POINTS IF YOU GO ON A FIELD TRIP WITH ME ^_^

Student: Dr. Tico, that field is a protest.

Dr. Tico: I HAVE SIGNS AND HANDCUFFS!!!!

I just really loved her arc on Canto Bight and her care for the little people and also the emphasis it’s not the wide dramatic actions that make the resistance but the people that make it thrive.

“We win by saving what we love.”

Mneme that kiss was sexless--

THE GIRL JUST KNOCKED A SHIP OUT OF THE WAY OF A CANNON, GIVE THE GIRL A BREAK

She’s be more than down to climb him like a tree later.

OKAY WHILE WE’RE STILL DEALING WITH THE RESISTANCE

I UNDERSTAND WHY ADMIRAL AMILYN HOLDO DIED AND THE SHOT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT AND JUST

#POETIC CINEMA

but also *UGLY SOBBING*

so like yes I understand that this probably could have been solved via OPEN COMMUNICATION but

Poe has literally just been demoted for flyboy antics

Poe initial interaction with Admiral Holdo consists of “soooo do you understand the situation” in front of a bunch of upper level brass

like maybe if he was like HEY HOW CAN I HELP it would have been better but he literally goes

HI ADMIRAL PLEASE LET EXPLAIN YOUR JOB AFTER I JUST MANAGED TO GET A HUGE CHUNK OF THE FLEET DEMOLISHED

cue Oscar Isaac’s prettiness

so like I understand but also I DISAGREE

also when Amilyn talks to Leia when Poe is like being carted onto the transport saying “I like him!” I’m 99% certain it was implied that she was also down to bang

actually knowing what I know from Leia, Princess of Alderaan

she’s TOTALLY DOWN TO BANG

OKAY LETS FINISH UP THIS NONSENSE WITH REMAINING TWO CHARAS ALSO KNOWN AS THIS IS A BIASED REVIEW AND IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO YOU CAN LIKE STOP HERE AND GO

......

.....

....

*looks around* okay they’re gone?

*TAKES OUT MIC*

FIRST THING FIRST, I HAVE BEEN REY NO ONE SINCE FOREVER AND NOW I AM VALIDATED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD~~~~

It also follows from what Maz said in TFA, “you know they aren’t coming back.” This movie is Rey coming to terms with the failure that her parents inflicted on her, abandonment, and realizing that she doesn’t need some grand legacy to save the galaxy. Being herself is enough, and that’s so so beautiful to meeeeeeeeeeeeee. *weeps*

#POETIC CINEMA

SECOND, KYLO’S ARC WAS GEARED TOWARDS MEEEEEE!!! THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING ALL THE CHARACTER SHIT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ABOUT KYLO REN SINCE TFA THAT I THOUGHT WAS FUCKING OBVIOUS!!!!!!

Them: KYLE RON WAS TOTALLY DOWN TO KILL HAN AND UNREMORSEFUL. Me: ???? did we watch the same movie??

did you like look at the lighting in that scene???

the facial expressions??

LITERALLY EVERYTHING BEFORE THAT SCENE ABOUT BEING SEDUCED BY THE LIGHT?!!?!?

Kylo himself in TLJ: i didn’t hate him

THIS CONFLICT, THIS UNBALANCEDNESS CONTINUES THROUGH OUT THE FILM!?!? Also, I’m going to be hella honest

pre-TLJ: Renperor is such a horrible trope because Kylo Ren is a disaster human being who has no business and no interest (see Bloodline) in ruling??? LIKE YOU ARE ASSIGNING COMPETENCE TO MY SON WHERE THERE IS NONE

post-TLJ: alright, I can Work With This and I’m 99% certain he is going to be ousted because the FO is like who is this human disaster with the political savvy of a blunt post

like any credibility was lost as soon as he decided to have force tantrum when Luke showed up

and the SHOOT THAT SHIP OUT OF THE SKY!!!! moment

like my son leads wears his trash heart on his sleeve and EVERYONE KNOWS IT

honestly the fact that he managed to lie about killing Snoke is a miracle

but this CANON!renperor

this Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, which i am like laugh my ass of over, is not some triumphant Dark Fuck Prince??

He’s broken man who has thrown so so much into rejecting the light, becoming the monster that his uncle he feared he would become and realized that he done fucked up.

He tells Rey, Let the past die, kill it if you have to.

LITERALLY CANNOT LET THE PAST DIE

does copy his namesakes dramatic robe dropping so like there’s that

Also pre-TLJ: meh there’s a 50/50 chance he’s a virgin but lol it will never but touched on in canon

Post-TLJ: oh god he’s a virgin i will fight you on thissss

AND NOW BECAUSE I AM THAT PERSON REY AND KYLO’S OVERLAPPING ARCS

*SCREAMS* FORCE BOND FORCE BOND FORCE BOND

oh did i mention FORCE BOND!?!?!?!?!

Okay yes Snoke helped it along but like THAT LAST SCENE WITH THE DICE AND KYLO LOOKING UP AND SEEING REY

Snoke is dead bitches

what is it

it’s the Force

it was so good to meee

Honestly that face was peak “I’m disappointed but not surprised, I left all your shit on the porch. *SLAMS DOOR IN FACE*”

Like THE INTIMACY OF THOSE FORCE BOND SCENES

and like the evolution and like ASDFDSFSDAFDS

this was so good to me y’all

so good

no really i like never rec meta but like this *kisses fingers* http://corseque.tumblr.com/post/168629533017 good shit

THAT REGENCY TRASH PROPOSAL OF FAILURE

so good

so awful

congrats Kylo, you’ve surpassed your granddad in poor wooing skills

Like literally I can see Anakin standing next to him Force Ghost!Stylez and is just like appalled

so appalled

okay i’m done I’m going to think about star wars and start throwing all my money at the EU YET AGAIN

#tlj spoilers #reylo #finnrose #star wars #STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI #i just loved this movie a lot y'all #it was so good to me on so many levels #I AM LIVING

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tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land · 7 years

Note

Can you tell us about your Until Dawn au?

Gladly! It’s not anything spectacular, but it’s a fun idea totinker around with, anyways ^^

So it’s basically just Until Dawn with all the UD charactersreplaced with the Pokemon characters and a few changes to the storyto fit around the world of pokeani, with the character roles going asfollows:

Ash - Josh

Misty - Sam

Brock - Mike

May - Ashley/Chris (interchangeably, ‘cause in some instances I want her to be in Ashley’s position, and in others, Chris’s, for reasons I’ll get into in a bit)

Dawn - Jessica

Jessie - Emily

James - Matt

Meowth - Chris/Ashley (same thing as May)

Pikachu - technically serving both the positions of Hannah and Beth, but namely Hannah

and then the old flamethrower man dude can be like an older, rugged Officer Jenny who’s long since retired lol

Oh, I should probably mention that everyone is in their 20′s orolder at the time of this au. Also, since I came up with this aubefore I watched XY (and I never bothered with BW whoops),unfortunately those travel companions will not be there. So let’sjust say, for the convenience of the story, that they had otherarrangements and couldn’t make it

From here on out, this is gonna get super LONG, and super SPOILERYFOR UNTIL DAWN. So if you don’t know jack diddly about UD, and youdon’t want to be spoiled, I’d recommend holding off on reading thisfor now. So I’m gonna put the rest under a read more so I ain’tclogging up anyone’s dash with my dumb au

So basically, instead of a bunch of rowdy college kids staying upat a cabin to party and sex each other all day and all night, it’sgonna basically be like this:

Ash won a pokemon league and became a pokemon master (finally),and won a cabin on top of Mount Silver…? I think was the place Iwanted him at…?

ANYWAYS, he’s celebrating, all his friends are there (at leastthe ones I mentioned above), they’re all having a fun dandy time,and eventually Ash conks out from exhaustion. During this time, whoelse but Team Rocket decides to stick their noses where they don’tbelong in hopes of ‘congratulating’ Ash by means of stirringup trouble and capturing Pikachu. (they do mean well, and they areactually super happy for him, butchaknow–they’re kinda the mastersat fucking things up royally)

As they’re trying to make their epic getaway, though, thesnowstorm outside blows them way off course, and they end up droppingPikachu just before they crash into the trees. They’re all fine,Pikachu included, but Pikachu’s a far ways away from the cabin now,and has to try and make it back on his own, cause the others sure asfuck ain’t gonna find him in this weather

On the way, though, some monstrosity catches sight of him andchases him to the edge of a cliff. Pikachu ends up falling off (Withthe old Officer Jenny trying to save him and failing), but hesurvives the fall. Unfortunately, he has no way of letting the othersknow of his location, since he’s so far out and so far down intothe depths of the mountain, so he’s deemed missing by theauthorities

Fast forward a year, and suddenly Ash is inviting everyone (TeamRocket included) back up to the cabin to celebrate the memory of hismissing/probably dead best friend. Everyone is a bit unsettled goingback, but go anyways, if only just to try and help out Ash in any waythey can.

A couple problems they notice through the night, though, are 1.Their pokeballs don’t seem to work (Ash claims that cell towersrecently put up on the mountain are messing with the technology) and2. There seems to be a certain bloodthirsty killer up on the mountainwith them :o

Throughout the night, the eight are eventually split up intopairs, partly because of their own volition, and partly because ofTeam Rocket being there and causing suspicion. For instance, Dawn haslike zero sympathy for the Trio and doesn’t want anything to dowith them, so Brock takes her up to the guest cabin. Jessie and Jamesgo out on their own (either exploring or James forgot a bag orsomething, I haven’t decided). Meowth doesn’t deem it necessaryto accompany them (the trip there wore him out, he claims–inreality, he’s just fucking lazy), so he sticks around with May,Misty, and Ash.

AND THAT’S WHEN SHIT GOES DOWN

Dawn and Brock are the first to be attacked, unbeknownst to theothers, and Dawn is presumed to be dead by Brock (shes fine tho) bythe time he reaches her. He then goes on a quest to find theperson(?) who hurt his friend to bring the great fist of JUSTICE downon them. The quest leads him through an abandoned pokemon hospitalwith a very shady past (which, admittedly, I haven’t put too muchthought into), and also delves into the mysterious transformation ofpokemon who have died into a very vicious and hostile ghost-typepokemon that has only ever been spotted on the mountain (and you cansee where this is going for a certain mouse pokemon who has beenmissing for over a year)

Back at the cabin, Misty takes a bath, and Ash, May, and Meowthplay with the spooky spirit board that tells them that Pikachu’sdisappearance was no accident, but was actually planned (which makesMeowth suuuuper uncomfortable and guilty). So Ash has anunderstandable reaction to this thing that he believes the other twohave made up in some attempt to make him feel better (?), and May andMeowth eventually get knocked the fuck out by Mr. Spooky Clown Man.

May wakes up a little later and finds that Ash and Meowth are bothmissing. After some searching, she finds them in a shed outside, bothtied to a wall with a buzzsaw aimed right at them. Mr. Spooky ClownMan comes over the intercom and tells May that she can only save oneof them from being ripped in two. So she’s sobbing cause shedoesn’t want to have to make this decision, Meowth’s sobbingbecause he knows that he ain’t the one she’s gonna choose, andAsh is sobbing because LOLL WHOOPS EVEN THOUGH MAY CHOOSES TO SAVEASH, SHE ENDS UP SAVING MEOWTH BECAUSE THE BUZZSAW SAYS SO

So uh. May’s super traumatized and heartbroken about watchingone of her best friends getting killed. But. She’s also growing ateensy bit suspicious of Meowth, seeing as how she distinctly choseto save Ash instead of him, and how Jessie and Jamesare conveniently away from the area during theattack and show up conveniently after said attack.So in her mind, she comes up with this elaborate hypothetical schemethat she believes the Rockets are planning, and tries to take theinitiative in stopping said plans by keeping Meowth along with herwhile she tells Jessie and James to go find help (under the guisethat she’s keeping Meowth with her as insurance that they don’tgo ditching everyone).

Jessie and James go on a little adventure over the mountains afterdiscovering that their balloon has mysteriously been torn to shredsand all the fuel has been mysteriously emptied out. After discoveringthat the cable car house leading up to the cabin is in shambles, thetwo come across a radio tower. They manage to get a hold of somehelp, but that’s when the tower decides to suddenly keel over andtrap them in the mines, oh fun!! In the mines, Jessie is holding onfor dear life to the rail of the tower, and James tries to pull herup, but can’t reach her. He asks if she trusts him, and that hebelieves he will have a better chance at reaching her from the ledgebehind her. She hesitantly says yes, and allows him to jump, but thejump is the last bit of force needed to send the tower tumbling tothe abyss, Jessie along with it. YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW FUCKINGDISTRAUGHT JAMES IS.

Jessie’s fine tho. Turns out she got caught in the wires duringthe fall, and manages to make it to safety afterwards. Then she goeson a spectacular, fun filled adventure through the mines discovering bits and pieces asto what happened to Pikachu after he went missing, and also runninginto Rugged Ol’ Jenny.

May keeps her suspicions to herself until the very end of the Mr.Spooky Clown Man escapades, where they’re both put into anotherdeath trap, and Meowth ends up being the one with the gun. Then itall comes out, and you can imagine how pleased Meowth is to hear thatthe only reason May separated him from his friends and quite possiblygot both of his friends killed during this horrific night was becausethat she thought they devised this whole thing.

THEEENN THE TRUTH COMES OUT, AND MR.SPOOKY CLOWN MAN IS ACTUALLY ASH, WHO’S APPARENTLY LOST HIS SHITAFTER LOSING PIKACHU. SO UM. HE’S FUCKING PISSED AT TEAM ROCKET FORTAKING PIKACHU AND PROBABLY GETTING HIM KILLED. AND HE’S ALSO FUCKINGPISSED THAT HIS FRIENDS DID PRETTY MUCH NOTHING TO HELP PIKACHU.

IT’S DURING THIS TIME THAT MISTY ANDBROCK MEET UP WITH EACH OTHER, THEN MEET UP WITH THOSE THREE.

YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW FINE AND DANDYEVERYONE IS TO HEAR THAT THEY’VE JUST BEEN THROUGH THE WORST NIGHT OFTHEIR LIVES JUST FOR A STUPID PRANK THAT ASH DECIDES TO PULL ON THEMIN A SICK FORM OF REVENGE.

Anyhoo, Brock breaks the news thatDawn’s fucking dead (supposedly), he and Misty decide that Ash is notallowed to be on his two feet for the rest of the night until helparrives, and Meowth decides, ‘fuck you guys, you’re all awful, immago find my friends’

During which time, Jessie manages tomake it back to the cabin after being attacked by the Hostile GhostPokemon, and Rugged Ol’ Jenny is not far behind, quite literallycarrying Meowth back with her, cause 'nah you’re not allowed to beout on your own at this time of night—dontcha know there bemonsters?’

Annnnnnnnnnd the rest of the storybasically pans out just like how Until Dawn pans out.

SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG. I JUST NEEDEDTO PUT IN MY CHANGES IN ORDER FOR EVERYTHING TO MAKE SENSE. BUT YEAH.THAT’S MY DUMB UNTIL DAWN AU.

I partly reallllllly wanna write itout, but also—that would require writing out and reworking thebackstory of the penitentiary/mines. And also somehow incorporatinga sense of choice in the story. Which I don’t think I have the skillto do lol

I have some ideas about possibleoutcomes, such as what it’s like if a character dies, if some die butnot others, if no one dies, or the emotional and eventual impact ofsaid deaths (for example, if Brock shoots Jessie after discoveringthat she has been bitten by Hostile Ghost Pokemon, Meowth will be soovercome with shock and grief and anger that he’ll lose allsensibility and rational thought, which will eventually lead to hisown demise at the hands of a Hostile Ghost Pokemon mimicking James’svoice; versus if Brock doesn’t shoot her, and both Rockets are justsuper livid and untrusting of the twerps for the rest of the nightand Meowth has enough sense to make good decisions about suspiciousJames-sounding monstrosities), but I won’t put y'all through any moreof that lol

While I don’t plan on having this beingsuper shippy, I plan to have mentions/small discussions ofPokeshipping pining (possibly, haven’t decided whether I want thisone or not), Lustshipping, Contestshipping, Appealshipping,Rocketshipping pining, and Krazyshipping pining (lol whoops)

I also have a couple other au’s withinthe au, one of which Meowth takes the position of Beth and fallsalong with Pikachu at the beginning, and another where Pikachu iswith the group and someone completely different falls. But both ofthose au’s are very underdeveloped; this is the only one I’ve put any real thought into lol

but yeah. I think I’ve said all I cansay about this. It’s a dumb idea, but I think putting charactersthrough horrible situations is a great way to explore their psycheand toy around with what kind of decisions they might make instrenuous situations. Or at least I like to tell myself that in orderto justify myself for putting my favorite characters through absolutehell and back.

#noooooooo I totally didn't just spend three hours writing this out #that's ridiculous #who would do that #tinyAUs #guess this is gonna be a thing now #readasaur #ask #....#I swear to god i like these characters

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ca-3 · 7 years

Note

*whispers* teach me how to stop hating sakuya, this hatred seems to have come from no where. HELP ME.

oh….. well. Didn’t expect this in my inbox tonight. Youprobably came to me because EVERYONE knows I love Sakuya a lot.

I might actually know who you are cause I remember seeing apost about someone disliking Sakuya and honestly I will respect your opinion. Iprobably can’t change your mind either. It would help a bit if I knew WHY youhate him so much. But I could take some wild guesses.

So before I go on, I am gonna say if you are one of thosepeople who have psychotic hatred for a character just because they get in theway of your ship (for example KuroMahi) then I don’t know what to tell you, cause I have seen TOO MANY examplesof this and that’s when people become a lost cause.

But I am here to defend my case on Sakuya. Let’s start fromthe beginning shall we, anon?

So here’s the truth from me first. When I first startedServamp. I ACTUALLY DIDN’T CARE ABOUT SAKUYA AT ALL. Not gonna lie. (This postis how I came to like him basically.) My first impression of him was:

“Oh wow he looks liketrouble.”

“One of these things is not like the other~”

“WTHHHH He is so painfully obvious A VAMPIRE! HE’S GOT REDEYES AND FANGS. YOU CAN SEE THEM. are they….. blind? I????”

Jokes aside since I instantly figured out he was a vampire,it seemed like betrayal was inevitable. As soon as he mentioned they were all“childhood friends” I thought “oh yeah this is gonna hurt our main characterlater when he finds out.”

and the more and more I saw of him I thought “yeah he evilprobably manipulative as I can see from here” “he’s obviously here to ruineverything and sets off all the bad events that are likely to take place lateron the series.” and blah blah blah.

“He’s probably a character who is killed off very early andI probably won’t even remember him.” Despite this, as obvious as everythingwas. He still caught my attention and made me think it a lot. And I was very wrong indeed.

—————————————————————

It was thanks to learning more about his character, his pastand his relationship with Mahiru that I was able to change to my mind. Don’ttake this as a ship thing, I am being serious here.

So when we got to the battle between Sakuya and Belkia vs.Mahiru and Kuro(and etc.) it’s when we all thought “OH GREAT HERE IS IT! THEINEVITABLE BETRAYAL SCENE. BRING ON THE TEARS FROM OUR MAIN CHARACTER” *YELLSINTO THE ABYSS*

and the number one thing that he did that admittedlybothered me was despite his talk about hating liars/lies. It was pretty messedup when I learned he manipulated Mahiru’s memories. HE WAS PRETTY HYPOCRITICAL YES,

But I don’t know if you can forgive this but I could (and tobe fair Mahiru could too) because of many factors:

Sakuya did that to Mahiru’s memories because he wanted to befriends. He only wanted to be closer to him. (Sakuya likely didn’t have many friends in his childhood, and probably doesn’t know how to actually handle them.)

Manipulating Mahiru’s memories was indeed a very selfishthing for him to do. But the biggest reason I think he did this was because ofhis past (I rant about more about that here cause I need to make this part asbrief as possible)

Okay so we all know the sad story of his past right? Hissister dying for him and him being blackmailed into lying for his parents.

Sakuya has had a very very sad and lonely life. His parentsdidn’t love him and his sister(who was probably all he had) died when he wasvery young. Those six years before his “death” were most likely absolute hell.He had a tragic human life to only become a vampire for all eternity shortlyafter. Mahiru is maybe the ONLY TRUE HAPPINESS he has ever known. Consideredlying and cheating was all he’s ever known it’s EXPECTED he would pull low movelike manipulate someone’s memories and while it is still wrong that he did it.ITS NOT THE WORST THING HE COULD’VE DONE. He still let Mahiru have other peoplein his life, he made one false memory he didn’t try to completely take over andcontrol his entire life.

When Mahiru’s memory of Sakuya started to fade hedidn’t suddenly not remember 50% of his life or whatever.There wasn’t giant parts of his life just GONE. Only the small parts with Sakuya it seems. It’s more like Sakuya just inserted his existence into Mahiru’s life rather than TAKE from it.He only wanted to be a part of Mahiru’s happy life.

Like I said it’s still wrong Sakuya went about it thisway. He shouldn’t have used false memories to become closer to Mahiru and heknew this later.

Sakuya probably didn’t think he was that important toMahiru. That he would become so important even after only a year of actually knowing each other. After all he originally planned to disappear from his life once highschool was over. The worst thing for Mahiru is that once his memory of Sakuyafaded he would probably only felt like something(someone) was missing and Mahiru could’ve quickly gotten over it and go on with his life. It still not the worst thing that could’ve happened to Mahiru, its still sad and still cruel but he was still likely able to move on, but Sakuya would remember their time together, forever.

Sakuya didn’twant Mahiru to learn he was a vampire, that he was a MONSTER. He didn’t intendfor things to happen as they did. He learned Mahiru was a kind person, he knew none of thishad to happen like this Mahiru probably would have accepted him even withoutcreating false memories.

In fact, he REGRETTED lying to Mahiru so much. He wantedMahiru to order Kuro TO KILL HIM. LETS NOT FORGET THAT.

He was that sorry, he felt that undeserving that he thoughtdying was the only way to make up for everything. He attacked Misono and he attackedKuro and said all those awful things right then and there because he was hopingMahiru would hate him. HE WANTED MAHIRU TO HATE HIM, he wanted him to make the hastydecision right then and there to kill him. Sakuya didn’t want to hurt Mahiru at all. He hated that things turned out the way they did.

Sakuya’s only known lies and hurt, it was hard from him accept the fact Mahiru really cared about him.That’swhy he still proceeded to jump from the roof denying they could ever betogether again. But Mahiru made Sakuya realize he wasn’t alone anymore, that he isn’t all he has.

I rest my case. It wasn’t right for what he did, NO. not at all, but he just wanted to feel close to someone. Someone kind, and someone who would be his friend.

and if you still think it’s not right for Mahiru to forgive Sakuya, please remember a few things:

Lily ALSO manipulated Misono’s memories FOR YEARS and they got through that and all was forgiven.

Mahiru accepted Kuro even after all the things he’s done in the past. Kuro never lied to Mahiru like Sakuya did, but Kuro also NEVER said/or told Mahiru anything either, they had to go through a lot just to get where they are now remember that.

If Mahiru can forgive Kuro for all his sins and regrets THEN HE IS ALLOWED TO FORGIVE SAKUYA TOO. FIGHT ME. BOTH THESE RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT.

I just pointed out the reasons you might hate him for anon, cause… you didn’t give me anything specific…. so yeah. Here you go. This is my opinion/story.

alright I am done, cause if this crashes again on me, I will punch myself and the computer…..

#servamp #ca3 asks #rant #??#sakuya watanuki #shirota mahiru #watanuki sakuya #mahiru shirota #sakumahi #mahisaku #sleepy ash of sloth

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braindamageforbeginners · 6 years

Text

I Am the Kraken

Enormous, powerful; glow-in-the-dark; multi-armed, covered in slime, I wait upon the abyssal plains. With my venomous beak.

Okay, so that’s a little surreal and dramatic, but, come on, folks; I mentioned giant squid in the last dispatch. Everyone who knows me - even if only through vague rumors - would have seen that and said, “He’s gonna write about squid, now.” Sadly, I am nothing if not depressingly predictable. For those of you who read for specific aspects/bits/whatever of my writing, this is going to be more of a philosophical/stupid piece rather than a recounting of recent events or travels; however, I will try to include some usable information for anyone with cancer (as well as lots of useless information - you take the good with the bad), and I will include my standard self-assessment/update near the end. And, I think I have a way to put a kind of positive bent on it. All it took to bring out my inner optimist was to write about a legendary, terrifying monster from the darkest pits of hell. Who ever would have guessed?

First off; the actual inspiration for this one wasn’t the actual Architeuthis it was China Mieville’s fictional chess game in his book, “Kraken” - specifically, the piece that can move without moving. I suspect that Mr. Mieville was alluding to the fact that giant squid are ambush predators - they don’t really chase down or attack prey, they just sit motionless until something tasty comes near, and they pounce.

Which is just a roundabout way of saying that impressive, break-neck effort, speed, and combat - while all impressive and dashing - are just as effective, long-term, as patience and the odd burst of cunning. Also, having barbed suckers is considered helpful in such cases, but I digress.

Anyway, the ability to sit still for ten minutes is absolutely critical for assessing and recovering from brain damage. Assessing brain damage is already nigh-impossible because there are so many factors constantly at work in a brain that it makes it hard to notice these things, let alone figure out the source. Yeah, my memory’s been somewhat twitchy as of late, but I’m also not sleeping well, getting pumped full of really weird substances, and so on. If you’re going to be a successful neurology patient, you’re going to have to frequently stop and take stock of what’s new and not (this isn’t even a particularly insightful bit; I’ve seen PSAs about diagnosing early signs of strokes about this). And, neurotypical people, please stop screwing around with stuff just because you’re bored. I’ve had it with finally figuring out if i have some new symptom or problem, and I can’t replicate it because some idiot reorganized the place or invented something that solved the problem I had to use to demonstrate a neurocognitive flaw (true story; after surgery #2, I consistently skipped the number “4″ whenever calculating or counting things - not “14,” not “24;” it drove me nuts for a few months until I figured it out.

And that seems like pretty simple, basic, non-controversial, mansplaining - that you have to pause frequently to assess a dynamic situation in which you are but one of many contributing variables - but it’s surprisingly hard to put into practice. Humans prize effort and control; we almost fetishize it. We must always be moving and in charge of our own destiny. To hell with that. For years - decades - I was that guy who went after goals - and they pretty consistently exploded in my face. Or rather, I got horribly derailed and/or sideswiped by neurological disease and its aftereffects. My life would look radically different - I can’t say for good or bad - if, after Brain Tumor #1, I’d just hit the breaks on everything and maybe done some serious reassessment and made recovery (or just future prevention) a much greater part of my life. Instead, I just careened about like Wile E. Coyote from explosion to crushing to fall. So, now, I’m a little hesitant to pick up the Acme catalog. I realize my diseases aren’t some sort of product or result of me being ambitious and goal-oriented; but I will say that my brain is, in this metaphor, the unreliable stick of dynamite. Any plans that require it doing the right thing at the right time should be viewed with suspicion.

Well, not for me, not anymore. I am disgusted to reveal the new life-plan; the kraken path. I’m not going to do a damned thing - goal-wise, in any meaningful way - until I absolutely run out of my fat stores and have to go looking. And, even then, I’m going to try to avoid going in straight-lines; that sort of thing has caused me nothing but trouble in the past. And, y’know, if something tasty comes near, I’ll definitely snag that, but I’ll leave the whole “pursue your prey” thing to wolves and other, more charismatic critters. Now, I will accept full responsibility that this is a terrible, awful life plan - I will attach myself to a more promising one the moment I see it. This is not a good idea. This is not something I would recommend friends or loved ones try. However, it’s worth noting that one of the early things that drew me to the Warlocks and Mad Scientist were that all of them said - basically - that conventional treatments had failed, so, fuck it, go right to black magic and crazy experimental stuff. The Way of the Kraken is not about actively seeking rewards, it is in recognizing a near-hopeless situation, and staying alive until further opportunities present themselves. Yeah, it sucks, but it beats dying. It also beats me doing something irreversibly destructive or stupid in the meantime because I haven’t figured out that I developed a weird kleptomania exclusively for silver cars (oh, you laugh, but you would be positively amazed at what brain damage can do).

The other point that’s worth discussing here - the Kraken Way pay-off, as it were - is that I am realizing just how much you get just for showing up. It’s all very well and good to discuss fulfillment and joy and all that - and I’m not against it; but the unstated assumption in Maslow’s Hierarchy is that you’re alive. We all celebrate Tenzing Norgay and his sidekick, Hillary (yes, that is the correct order; not only did Norgay do more stuff; the dude could rock a pencil-thin mustache)(the very hardest of facial hair to pull off)(but I digress). We don’t pay much attention to the 300-odd folks who have died on Everest. You will get stuff, people will give you credit, favors will be given and/or granted, and things happen - amazing things (although also bad things), if you show up. The crucial clause though, is “if you show up.” Again, I’m certain that Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Elon Musk did a lot more than just show up, but that is the critical first step. The Way of the Kraken teaches us that, like the mighty Kraken, the most important part of catching fish is being alive and able to recognize fish (also, it’s important that you know which tentacle is which, an issue that, at present, isn’t always 100% obvious with me).

Another important concept for the Kraken Way, is not to fear or avoid the darkness and crushing depths. Light and airiness are more enjoyable, certainly, but squid don��t really do well in bathtubs in Key West. I’ve strayed off-topic, because I like the thought of bathtub squid, also, the bactrim makes me really dislike the sun, but, the point to all patients is this. You’re going to get lots of information very quickly that you’re going to have to digest and use very quickly (another factor working in my favor is that I do have a graduate level of knowledge about my own disease)(that might also count for nothing, we’ll see). You need to learn not to filter out any information. In fact, if you ever feel like you have enough information to make a confident decision; you should go back and double-check everything, there’s a possibility you missed something critical. My life-long philosophy - and this may or may not pay off, again, we’re placing that bet right now - is that there is no such thing as “useless” or “excess” information, there’s just “information that’s helpful now” and “information that may be helpful later.” I’ve relived several conversations with family members where they discounted or entirely disregarded information because it wasn’t convenient. I’ve done the same thing; have multiple systems to make sure that you have every possible detail or statistic available. That’s been important to me, so far. It’s not comforting or pleasant, but it has made a difference. And ask questions if you are confused; again, this seems obvious, but just do it.

I’d also like to admit why I do this whole, stupid, type-away-at-your-laptop describing obscure cancer patient problems at odd hours (apart from the fact that I don’t really do much sleeping these ways, even with the Jim Morrison-level of things I’m prescribed). I’ve mentioned these concepts before, but I’m tired, and I can’t think of another way to lead into this evening’s send-off (and you want to be here for that one, trust me). First off, I do this mostly for me. If you get seriously sick, I’d advise you to get some sort of outlet, or else you’re likely to go mad, kill the neighbors, and flee into the night. Seeing it all in print - to me - doesn’t make sense of the whole thing, but it does give me something approaching perspective. Secondly, if I don’t write this faithfully, it either becomes the basis for several recurring nightmares for me,or it just vanishes into the ether; and that - that I absolutely will not tolerate. Like, literally over my dead body. There’s just too much raw data, stories, information, and junk for someone else not to figure out a better use for it than me. A social services worker in San Francisco actually did tell me, point blank, “You have to keep notes, or a diary, or a blog of what’s happening to you; we have to have some kind of record.” The final reason I try to keep good notes and take careful note of things that work (or don’t) is so that the next poor bastard in line will not only benefit, but he’ll feel that much better in telling his story, too. That’s important. Never forget that. We are a species of story-tellers, and, while statistics and science are important to inform our decisions and advance medicine and technology, that’s rarely what we remember. That’s not what changes a society. But, what does the trick is, if enough silenced and frightened people (there may be some debate as to whether chronic illness patients count, but, screw it, I’m being charged a lot of money every month just for the privilege of being coherent and/or among the living, and I still have to use that fucking walker from time to time) get together and shout together; they can’t ignore us all forever. We’ll get there, eventually. We’ll all get access to safe, effective hospitals and disease treatment and prevention. And, the minority-superpower awarded to sick people is a good one - if we can just live long enough, our oppressors actually will become us, if they live long enough. It’s hard to defund children’s hospitals if your kid just got a new liver last week. And it’s hard to slash cancer research funding if you know your doctor just found some new polyps. It’ll take a while - a lot of us are going to die in the process, But I feel we’ll get there - a society where access to medical aid is automatically determined by need instead of wealth or who you know.

And now, the final, maudlin conclusion; Gene Roddenberry was right. We’re going to be okay, as a species. We are going to traverse the vastness of space. We’re going to do unbelievable things.

Here’s the thing; when contemplating my inner kraken and the value in merely existing; I realized that I have done - and survived - shit I could not have even imagined a year ago, let alone bet that I’d figure out. And I’ll admit it; I’ve gotten seriously lucky numerous times - perhaps far more than I’m comfortable admitting - but I’ve still somehow managed to do things I never even would have thought myself capable of. Admittedly, it’s an utterly wretched, awful way to learn this sort of thing, and I am still terrified and miserable and have no clue how this will all play out, but, at the same time, mere survival at this point in the game is kind of an impressive achievement unto itself. Now, I’ve always disliked that sort of hippie thinking about human potential and wishful thinking, but I now have a little anecdotal evidence. I’d consider myself a more-or-less standard factory model human (well, with the caveat that the engine tends to explode without warning) - the point in all of this is that I don’t consider myself especially special, which is important, because, dear reader - if I am capable of being surprised at my own untapped potential, you, no matter who you are, have vast depths within you that you can not even begin to imagine. You are - under the right conditions - capable of unbelievable, amazing, frightening things that would shock you and impress Isaac Asimov. We all are. The dark, kraken-y corollary would be that, it might take an awful set of nightmare conditions for us to successfully tap that well, but we’ll do it. All of us can do it.

ANYWAY… WEIGHT: 227 lb CONCENTRATION: Pretty good. I’m still completing the full set of tasks and challenges required to navigate the medical-industrial complex. MEMORY: Great, at the moment. I can recall a dream I had last night, most of my first-grade class, and most of the people involved in keeping me alive.. APPETITE: Excellent. ACTIVITY LEVEL: Good at the moment. I’ll go to the gym in an hour or two, but I’ve made angry phone calls to nitwits in redundant billing departments, consulted with Research Coordinator about upcoming scheduling stuff and medical information updates, etc. SLEEP QUALITY: Gods (or Kraken), I wish I slept half as well every night as I did last night. Admittedly, I didn’t sleep for very long, but the six-seven hours I got were deep and dream-filled. COORDINATION/DEXTERITY: Excellent, at the moment, Obviously, I’m not doing anything that requires too much careful coordination, but I safely sliced some avocado and fried an egg earlier. And I’m getting up and down stairs without any noticeable problems. PHYSICAL: I still have the nasty, constantly-hung-over sensation I seem to have all the time, these days (as happens when you’re getting microwaved on a regular basis). And the suture-headaches were getting worse, so Radiation Oncologist slightly upped my steroid dose (Research Coordinator still says I’m on baby aspirin levels, compared to other patients in the program). And, even though I still have a bit of a headache, it’s only noticeable when I’m really focusing on it (I’m also still on regular, high doses of Tylenol). I’m probably feeling slightly better than I was at this same time, yesterday, if I’m being honest. SIDE EFFECTS: My step-mom thinks there’s a little hair-growth in previously-denuded areas, so uh, hooray for that, I guess. I still feel like hell, but there aren’t any specific or debilitating effects, and I’m still upright and coherent (sort of). Sometimes that’s the best you can ask for.

#brain cancer #brain tumor

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