theblackshirt

[theblackshirt]

everything i’ve let go of has claw marks

OH

[theblackshirt]

i do this to myself really

#Spotify

[theblackshirt]

GIRL OH

oh!!! like oh!!!!

i wanna bring the man i broke to pieces a few years ago, hug his legs while he pats my head and plays with my hair and just beg, scream, and wail telling him not to love me, and when there’s no voice left in my body, i wanna just cry

[theblackshirt]

oh!!! like oh!!!!

i wanna bring the man i broke to pieces a few years ago, hug his legs while he pats my head and plays with my hair and just beg, scream, and wail telling him not to love me, and when there’s no voice left in my body, i wanna just cry

[theblackshirt]

“Empires crumble, capitalism is not inevitable, gender is not biology, whiteness is not immutable, prisons are not inescapable, and borders are not natural law.”

— Harsha Walia, Border and Rule: Global Migration, Capitalism, and the Rise of Racist Nationalism

[theblackshirt]

Unfinished piece I'm proud of

In efforts to liberalise the Jordanian economy and politics, Jordan devised the  “Jordan first” slogan as its propaganda campaign. The government aimed to disseminate the message throughout the country's cities and regions, simplifying it to achieve national reach. The slogan encompassed promises of poverty alleviation, social system improvement, private sector investment in infrastructure, and the development of political and social life in Jordan. The government intended to adopt complete transparency in executing these plans, particularly in matters of social justice, equality, and the enforcement of the law. This initiative began in 2002 as an effort to modernise and democratise the country. The population of Jordan was made to understand it as an identity campaign as it started a new era for jordanian society. The phrase inspired a new national identity and national pride that isolated the population of Jordan from their neighbouring Arab countries. From this, a new generation was born out of a new kind nationalism within the population of jordan, it created a false sense of stability for the jordanian people as their arabic identity was being ripped away from under them, an identity that was once all the people of this region had, the tribal definition of what being arab was, the borderless and free arab identity. This initiative was built on the basis of false promises to increase people’s hopes in what’s to come. It was a clear show of soft power from the government to try to identify with people’s needs while never truly acknowledging the societal and economic issues the working class of Jordan were facing on a day to day basis like the lack of adequate public healthcare, education, and transportation. Increasing private sector influence on infrastructure meant less public spaces for citizens to have access to, though it would make the landscape of Jordan “easier on the eyes” it would not be enjoyed by taxpayers. It was an irrelevant attempt at trying to liberalise the jordanian economic and political climate while not liberalising the social aspects of jordanian life. 

The Jordan first campaign put forth a cultural revolution that equated nationalism to monarchism and the personhood of the king. Instead of actively collaborating with neighboring countries in the struggle against colonialism, Jordan opted for isolation and centered the king as the embodiment of the Jordanian identity. Consequently, an entire generation grew up associating their identity solely with the monarch, rather than participating in  the country's politics, history, and land. This campaign created distance between the population and surrounding countries, which are natural extensions of the Jordanian and Arab identity. The campaign also developed an era of self censorship, making the people fear criticizing leadership by increasing security and raising the number of special officers in students' social and political organizations at universities, making it hard for youth to participate politically to make any kind of progress. The fear of the surrounding countries also became prominent in the psychology of the population. The Isolation that manifested from this campaign weakened the Jordanian people, becoming easier to control, dictate, and make ignorant of the issues of the greater Arab region.

[theblackshirt]

edgy thought found in my journal

12/11/2022

Human life must be some kind of mistake. The truth of this will be sufficiently obvious when reminded of the fact that man is a compound of wants and needs hard to satisfy; and even when they are satisfied, all he obtains is a state of painlessness, where nothing remains to him but surrendering to boredom.

[theblackshirt]

assortment of Palestinian Stamps

[theblackshirt]

مدينتي الحمراء

جبلٌ عال معتم ومهجور قبالة الجبل المأهول بالناس والضحكات، في طريق لم يعبد شق لمساعدة أهل المدينة العارفين على أن يتجاوزوا أزمة الطرقات، لقلة المارقين فيه يعوي الخواء. من هناك كانت المدينة تعج بالأضواء المرمية كجثة بيضاء حيناً ما بين عيبال وجرزيم وحيناً كعرس مزركش يمر عبر جنازة، أما الغيوم فتقمصت لون الطرقات والشهداء ودموع الامهات الثقيلة، حمراء بلون مثلث العلم الذي ابتلع زيتوننا وسلامنا، قريبة حد الهيام، عصية حد الملام. قبل الوقت بسنين كنت تلميذاً للصمت والاغتراب، باحثاً عن ملجئ اخبئ فيه وحدتي؛ أسير أميالاً صعوداً، أبلع البرد لارمق الغيمات الحمراوات هرباً من مدينة تحترف الحلوى والقسوة، تضيء السماء والنفوس ملؤها الظلام.

يومها اشتعلت أنوار الدنيا بعيني كأقصى الفرح؛ كالبكاء. كانت طالبة في السنة الأخيرة بذات الجامعة التي تعلمتُ فيها أن امضغ عقلي جيداً وأن ارثى لكل إرث، تملك ذات اليأس من مدينتنا الحمراء الطافحة بالعيون، ولها شغف العشق.وكما العَلم ارتكنا الى الجانب المعتم في ذاك الطريق المقفر فوق الجبل، نبحثُ عن مكانٍ آمانٍ للحب.

ضحكَ قلبي. إن للدنيا دروبٌ لا يعلم كُنها إلا عينٌ عليا؛ بدويٌ قضى الطفولة راعٍ لنايات الرعاة والسهول وحجارة تحمل الأذى والمخاطر، وسهوباً لا تمل المسير، بدويٌ عرف صمت الجمال وجمال الصمت فورث عقدة في اللسان والألوان. كيف توصف عينان تحويان آلافاً من الاكوان والألوان! كيف يوصف مرور الغيم الأحمر في العيون السماوية والخد متورداً كمسيرة شموع في حديقة خريفية! كيف لمضغة من طينٍ يابس أن تدرك محرابين الاهيين يختزلان اسرار الايمان والاحلام وولادة الهوى!

[theblackshirt]

Some of my notes :’))

Dependence within the family:

Benston notes how women are dependent on men the household and their subservient position has important functions to capitalism:

- Women are a source of cheap and exploitable labour - for employers. paid less as assumed they will be partially dependent on the husband’s or family’s earnings. (the 30% quota of hiring women in jordan made so as to force employers to hire women. the reason women aren’t hired is because of career sacrifices in the name of family (maternity leaves, marriage, blah blah) which is why they are hired in less quantities than men, because men do not have these obligations).

- Women are a reserve army of labour - moved in/out of employment when needed. treated as marginal workers - often part-time.

- Women reproduce the labour force - via unpaid domestic labour - raising children and preparing a future workforce and by servicing their working husbands at no cost to capitalism.

- Women absorb frustration - Ansley notes how women absorb anger/frustration (due to socialization) that would otherwise be aimed at capitalism. they are a “buffer to revolution”. they reduce the tensions in their husbands (caused by alienation and exploitation at work).

[theblackshirt]

I look at the stitch hole stars through my blanket and pretend it were night time. I pretend I was breathing the fresh air from my balcony or out having coffee somewhere in the world where the sky was clear and the summer breeze cooled my fire. I pretend I’m with her. all alone under the blanket without the fresh air that surrounds her feels sickening. what once were stars in the night sky are clumps of gas that will never shine bright enough to light my way back to her.

#my poem #original peoms #queer #poetry #queer poetry

[theblackshirt]

as a lesbian, this tin is very important to me 

source

[theblackshirt]

recently i’ve been using works of fiction to escape the horrible realities of the world around me, there’s so many things i need to do, so many things i’m expected to be. leaving non-fiction behind has helped me with my mental health a lot. i highly recommend it for my delusional girlies out there.

#fiction #fanfic #books #book rec list #bookworm

[theblackshirt]

— fidel with a russian bear cub, 1963

[theblackshirt]

Images of the great proletarian cultural revolution in China. Young red guards read President Mao Tsetung's quote.

[theblackshirt]

“The emancipation of the workers can be effected only by the workers themselves; a socialist revolution is out of the question unless the masses become class conscious and organised, trained and educated in open class struggle against the entire bourgeoisie.”

— V.I. Lenin (1905)

[theblackshirt]

Art by: Zhang Da Zhong