thedanoriddler

[thedanoriddler]

Want to write either breeding-kink!Eddie or dad!Eddie but idk I’m not sure if I’m just projecting or if that’s something people would be into lol

#anyway #paul dano #the riddler #edward nashton #the batman #danonation #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader #edward nashton imagine #the riddler imagine

[thedanoriddler]

Bringing this back a year later to say Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you’re all doing well - I personally am not as I got fired (for literally no reason other than they didn’t like me being autistic) just three days before Christmas, so I am sadly not in the most festive of moods any longer. Even so, I hope you are all well ❤️

🎄 Christmas | Edward Nashton x Reader 🎄

Warnings: talk of Christmas (but not in a religious way), a little bit of smutty-ness but it’s not explicitly detailed, just very silly fluff in general

Christmas is… not exactly Eddie’s favourite holiday

Growing up in an orphanage, he didn’t get the magical experience most children have of waiting for Santa, of opening presents, of a delicious and filling dinner - but the worst thing was not having loved ones to spend the holidays with

Usually the kids got like one present each and it was the same crappy gift everyone else got. Dinner was usually cold and undercooked, and there wasn’t enough for everyone to be full afterwards - it was usual to still be very hungry afterwards

Even once he’d grown up and left the orphanage, he was alone and so it was miserable to hear everyone at work talk about how fun Christmas was, who they’d spent it with, what they’d gotten, etc.

And then he meets you.

You meet through work, and he likes you a lot but he’s so shy that he doesn’t think much will happen - because how could you like him back? No one ever has. So he keeps quiet and only speaks to you when you, being friendly, talk to him

There’s a secret Santa that year; he’s surprised when, instead of the usual boring box of chocolates or pair of socks, he receives a big brand new book of riddles and puzzles. He’s still stunned when you approach him, beaming, and ask “so, do you like it?”

“You got him a book?” One of your co-workers snort before Eddie can speak, “The fuck kind of shitty gift is that?” You flush bright red, embarrassed, but Eddie manages to raise his head, to stand tall, and say, “I love the book - thank you!” And suddenly you’re smiling all over again, pleased and thrilled, while your co-worker just huffs and walks away

It’s the fact you’ve taken the time to actually get him something he likes - it’s the first time anyone has bothered to buy him anything he actually will enjoy, and he treasures it so much. It’s just a book, true, but it’s the first real Christmas present he’s ever gotten

A few days before Christmas, you find a pristinely wrapped gift on your desk at work - you don’t stop smiling for weeks after when you realise it’s from Eddie

By the time next Christmas comes around, you guys are dating - he’s still in disbelief quite frankly that someone like you wants to date him, but he’s so happy, the happiest he’s ever been in his miserable life

You’re in disbelief when you discover that Eddie doesn’t even bother decorating his apartment for Christmas, like the man has never once put up a Christmas tree or string of lights; with his permission, you help him buy a tree and decorate the place. You don’t put too many decorations up, it’s only a small place, but he can’t deny that it’s pretty when the lights on the tree are lit up and twinkling

The best part is when you put mistletoe up and explain to him, grinning the entire time, that people kiss underneath it. He definitely doesn’t complain about that tradition, let’s be honest

You’re aghast when you hear that he doesn’t have anyone to spend the holidays with, because no one should be alone - and you know that it sucks horribly when literally everyone else around is happy and spending time with loved ones while you’re not. You can’t let Eddie spend Christmas on his own, despite his insistence that it’s fine, he’s used to it, he doesn’t mind - you decide right there and then that you’re spending the holidays together.

Just before you arrive to stay for the holidays, he cleans that apartment obsessively because he doesn’t want you to think he lives in a shithole (even though it is, no matter how much he cleans it, because it’s the poorer side of Gotham)

It’s the first time you spend the night at his, by the way, which is a huge step for both of you

You two don’t even do anything that special; you spend most of the time sitting on his couch watching crappy tv and movies, but you’re both happy because you’re cuddled up together, and that’s all that matters

Eddie insists you sleep in his bed and he takes the couch because he wants you to be as comfortable as possible; you keep disagreeing, saying you’re happy to take the couch and you don’t want to put him out of his bed. Neither of you can agree on it.

That’s how you end up in bed together, practically curling into one another as you sleep - and he thinks that he’s never been so happy in his life as now, with you (he has it so bad for you you have no idea)

I’m not saying that you two sleep together in a way that involves very little actual sleeping but… 👀 that cuddling very quickly turns into kissing and touching, and soon you’re quite eagerly moving together under the covers… neither of you are going to complain, let’s be honest

Neither of you are brilliant at cooking but you make an effort on Christmas Day to have some kind of dinner together; you end up ordering food because somehow everything ends up burnt and inedible 😭 it’s still nice though, you still get to sit together and have wine as you eat, so it’s wonderful

Despite both of you insisting the other didn’t need to buy gifts… you both did anyway. Nothing too expensive, but you’re more than grateful that he bought you anything and he’s still stunned because he’s not used to being given gifts by anyone

For the first time in his whole life, Eddie enjoys Christmas - and it becomes something he looks forward to every year now that you’re in his life

If you celebrate, Merry Christmas - if not, have a happy holidays! 🎄

#edward nashton imagine #edward nashton #the riddler #the riddler x reader #edward nashton x reader #the batman #paul dano

[thedanoriddler]

If you see my husband in jail don’t message me, I already know, he killed the mayor, killed a DA and tried to flood Gotham 🤦🏻‍♀️

#paul dano #the riddler #edward nashton #the batman #danonation #I’m not funny

[thedanoriddler]

He’s everything

#I’m so sorry #the riddler #paul dano #edward nashton #the batman #danonation #barbie #barbie ai

[thedanoriddler]

🎄 Christmas | Edward Nashton x Reader 🎄

Warnings: talk of Christmas (but not in a religious way), a little bit of smutty-ness but it’s not explicitly detailed, just very silly fluff in general

Christmas is… not exactly Eddie’s favourite holiday

Growing up in an orphanage, he didn’t get the magical experience most children have of waiting for Santa, of opening presents, of a delicious and filling dinner - but the worst thing was not having loved ones to spend the holidays with

Usually the kids got like one present each and it was the same crappy gift everyone else got. Dinner was usually cold and undercooked, and there wasn’t enough for everyone to be full afterwards - it was usual to still be very hungry afterwards

Even once he’d grown up and left the orphanage, he was alone and so it was miserable to hear everyone at work talk about how fun Christmas was, who they’d spent it with, what they’d gotten, etc.

And then he meets you.

You meet through work, and he likes you a lot but he’s so shy that he doesn’t think much will happen - because how could you like him back? No one ever has. So he keeps quiet and only speaks to you when you, being friendly, talk to him

There’s a secret Santa that year; he’s surprised when, instead of the usual boring box of chocolates or pair of socks, he receives a big brand new book of riddles and puzzles. He’s still stunned when you approach him, beaming, and ask “so, do you like it?”

“You got him a book?” One of your co-workers snort before Eddie can speak, “The fuck kind of shitty gift is that?” You flush bright red, embarrassed, but Eddie manages to raise his head, to stand tall, and say, “I love the book - thank you!” And suddenly you’re smiling all over again, pleased and thrilled, while your co-worker just huffs and walks away

It’s the fact you’ve taken the time to actually get him something he likes - it’s the first time anyone has bothered to buy him anything he actually will enjoy, and he treasures it so much. It’s just a book, true, but it’s the first real Christmas present he’s ever gotten

A few days before Christmas, you find a pristinely wrapped gift on your desk at work - you don’t stop smiling for weeks after when you realise it’s from Eddie

By the time next Christmas comes around, you guys are dating - he’s still in disbelief quite frankly that someone like you wants to date him, but he’s so happy, the happiest he’s ever been in his miserable life

You’re in disbelief when you discover that Eddie doesn’t even bother decorating his apartment for Christmas, like the man has never once put up a Christmas tree or string of lights; with his permission, you help him buy a tree and decorate the place. You don’t put too many decorations up, it’s only a small place, but he can’t deny that it’s pretty when the lights on the tree are lit up and twinkling

The best part is when you put mistletoe up and explain to him, grinning the entire time, that people kiss underneath it. He definitely doesn’t complain about that tradition, let’s be honest

You’re aghast when you hear that he doesn’t have anyone to spend the holidays with, because no one should be alone - and you know that it sucks horribly when literally everyone else around is happy and spending time with loved ones while you’re not. You can’t let Eddie spend Christmas on his own, despite his insistence that it’s fine, he’s used to it, he doesn’t mind - you decide right there and then that you’re spending the holidays together.

Just before you arrive to stay for the holidays, he cleans that apartment obsessively because he doesn’t want you to think he lives in a shithole (even though it is, no matter how much he cleans it, because it’s the poorer side of Gotham)

It’s the first time you spend the night at his, by the way, which is a huge step for both of you

You two don’t even do anything that special; you spend most of the time sitting on his couch watching crappy tv and movies, but you’re both happy because you’re cuddled up together, and that’s all that matters

Eddie insists you sleep in his bed and he takes the couch because he wants you to be as comfortable as possible; you keep disagreeing, saying you’re happy to take the couch and you don’t want to put him out of his bed. Neither of you can agree on it.

That’s how you end up in bed together, practically curling into one another as you sleep - and he thinks that he’s never been so happy in his life as now, with you (he has it so bad for you you have no idea)

I’m not saying that you two sleep together in a way that involves very little actual sleeping but… 👀 that cuddling very quickly turns into kissing and touching, and soon you’re quite eagerly moving together under the covers… neither of you are going to complain, let’s be honest

Neither of you are brilliant at cooking but you make an effort on Christmas Day to have some kind of dinner together; you end up ordering food because somehow everything ends up burnt and inedible 😭 it’s still nice though, you still get to sit together and have wine as you eat, so it’s wonderful

Despite both of you insisting the other didn’t need to buy gifts… you both did anyway. Nothing too expensive, but you’re more than grateful that he bought you anything and he’s still stunned because he’s not used to being given gifts by anyone

For the first time in his whole life, Eddie enjoys Christmas - and it becomes something he looks forward to every year now that you’re in his life

If you celebrate, Merry Christmas - if not, have a happy holidays! 🎄

#paul dano #the riddler #edward nashton #the batman #danonation #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader #the riddler imagine #paul dano x reader

[thedanoriddler]

ASDFGHJKL CUTE SKRUNKLY MAN

#paul dano #the riddler #edward nashton #the batman #danonation #the riddler: year one

[thedanoriddler]

Paul Dano giving us autistic!riddler in issue 1 of his Riddler: Year One comic, we love to see it

#paul dano #the riddler #edward nashton #the batman #the riddler: year one

[thedanoriddler]

your riddler x autistic reader headcanons were truly amazing. it genuinely made me tear up when you said eddie would listen to the reader's info dump and genuinely be happy about it. i always feel like no one cared/cares about my special interests so seeing my comfort character care about that is just so lovely. thank you💚💚💚

I’ve taken a while to respond because of my last week of work (yay for being a teacher assistant, am I right? 💀) but this ask has stayed with me all week and I’ve been so touched that it’s taken me a while to process it.

As an autistic person, I know exactly what you mean: my family aren’t exactly ableist, as such, they do try their best especially now that I have an official diagnosis, but they definitely still get annoyed by me infodumping about things I’m into, whether it’s a film, book, game etc. For years I’ve heard “we don’t care” “don’t talk about _____ at this family gathering/social event” “you need to grow up and get in the real world” etc., and it hurts every time even though I’m used to it by now. Like even this year, for example, I went with my mum and sister to a Titanic Exhibition in London, because one of my special interests became the Titanic sinking (I can’t explain why, it just happened for some reason 😭) and I kept trying to tell them things about the ship’s history and sinking on the way there, but they were like “shut up, we’re literally about to learn about it, don’t ruin it for us” which sucked hard. It makes me scared to be excited about stuff unless I’m online and talking to other fans of things I enjoy.

Which is why when I was writing the Eddie x autistic!reader post, I was definitely using my own experiences as an autistic person and what I would like in a partner while also trying to stay true to how Eddie would be - and because he’s the kind to be literally obsessive with everything and anything to do with his partner, it made sense to me that he’d 100% be all about listening to them talk about their special interest(s). He could listen to you talk for literal hours, and even more so if it’s something you clearly love and are passionate about.

I’m really glad that you enjoyed the headcanons, like it genuinely makes me happy that I’ve made at least one other person happy with one of my posts 💚 we all deserve to have Eddie listening to us info dump with a huge smile

#anon #🥹 #edward nashton #the riddler #the batman #paul dano #danonation

[thedanoriddler]

♾️ Edward Nashton x autistic!reader - Headcanons ♾️

Hey all, it’s your local autistic gremlin here with a reminder to NOT support Autism Speaks, they are a hate group. Please also use the infinity symbol instead of the puzzle piece, don’t “light it up blue” because that’s an AS bullshit slogan, and I personally am not a fan of the term “Aspergers” 💚

Anyway, yes, let me say again that I’m actually autistic, so this post is very personal to me! I also headcanon Eddie as autistic so there’s probably elements of that here too but I haven’t said outright he’s autistic in these headcanons just because I know others may not agree. Obviously autism is a SPECTRUM (it’s literally called Autism Spectrum Disorder), so the ways in which I’m autistic aren’t going to be the same for everyone but I’ve tried to be as inclusive as possible.

Warnings: mentions of ableism, mentions of meltdowns, mentions of the r slur but it’s not used in its entirety (is literally just called “the r slur”), mentions of sensory overload, general Riddler Riddleness

Anyway, on with the headcanons!

Eddie has honestly never once thought you’re odd and weird - he’s pretty much the only one in your life

Some of it is just common sense to him; he too doesn’t understand other people, having a routine is sensible, and why shouldn’t you just say what you mean instead of lying or pretending?

People think that you’re stupid or slow, but he knows that it’s the total opposite - you’re one of the smartest people he’s met, even if that intelligence isn’t the typical kind of intelligence

Being out and about in busy spaces is quite frankly a fucking nightmare; it’s too noisy, there’s too many sounds and too many voices and too many different sensations happening all at the same time - you can’t cope with it, you usually need headphones or something to at least block the noise

But you can’t wear headphones while you’re on a date with Eddie, especially not when it’s your first date and you really like him, really want him to like you as much as you do him

You manage pretty well, it’s dinner at a restaurant and quite nice, but then a huge party of people come in and they’re too loud, their booming voices mingling with the scraping of chairs and the music and the other voices-

You put your hands over your ears before you can stop yourself, closing your eyes and wanting to curl up away from it all. Eddie is concerned as he looks at you, immediately getting out of his chair and coming to be at your side like a gentleman

“Are you okay?” He whispers worriedly, but you don’t say anything because you can’t, your head is swimming and pounding and too heavy as it tries to process everything going on around you. He’s smart enough to put the pieces together though, and once he realises what’s the matter he immediately asks the waiter for the bill, pays, and gently guides you outside where it’s a bit quieter.

“I’m sorry,” you mutter miserably once you find your voice again. “I’ve ruined things.” He’s surprised and shakes his head, assuring you that no, it’s not your fault at all, nothing is ruined because he’s had a wonderful evening with a wonderful person, and nothing could ruin that at all

Once he finds out you’re autistic, you bet he throws himself into researching ASD and how best to help people on the spectrum because he will do quite literally ANYTHING for you

When you’re seriously dating, he’s more than happy to be by your side and do whatever he can to make sure you’re comfortable, no matter where or when. If you’re out on the busy streets of Gotham, he holds your hand and helps you find a calmer route where there aren’t as many people to push against you. When you’re upset because your routine is disrupted, and things are new and scary, he’s more than happy to be there by your side and guide you all the ways.

If you’re not touch averse, he gives you as many hugs and cuddles as you want, learning very quickly how tight is “too tight” and what pressure feels nice. You feel so safe because you know he’d never crush you, he cares far too much about you to even accidentally squeeze too hard

If you’re not that fond of being touched, he’s admittedly a little put out because he’s clingy as fuck and wants to be able to touch you. But he knows touch can be too much for you, that it could contribute to a sensory overload, so he holds himself back and will only touch you if you ask first because the last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable (we stan a respectful king)

Eddie is so fascinated by all of your different fidgets and things you use to stim, he even (with your permission ofc) tries out some of them and starts to understand why the help because they’re really awesome

He never judges you when you stim, by the way; he never judged you before you explained why you stimmed, what the reason for it was, but it’s especially so after.

Eddie smiling whenever you get excited and start rocking/flapping your hands/bouncing because he thinks you’re so cute when you’re happy and you being happy makes him happy 🥹

If someone called you a mean name (or the r slur), you just know Eddie would go all Riddler on their asses. It makes him furious, he literally sees red, when someone mocks you in any way, whether it’s your way of speaking or a behaviour you have etc. The fact people would make fun of you for being autistic - for being you - is so ridiculous to him, and he can’t stand it.

Just know that if anyone laid a hand on you to provoke you or push you over the edge, the Riddler is definitely keeping tabs on them 👀

Eddie listens to you talk about your special interest(s) all day - and I do mean all day - with the literal biggest smile on his face. He can see how much you love whatever you’re talking about, and seeing you happy makes him happy too. He knows that when you infodump, it’s because you feel comfortable enough to share it with him, that it’s your way of showing how much you like him, and he feels honoured that you feel close enough to him to share all about it, that you feel that he’s worthy of being privy to your special interest.

The first few times you infodump, you turn red and apologise for talking too much because in the past people have complained about it: “I’m sorry, I know you don’t care” - but he immediately stops you, because “no no no, please continue! It’s interesting!”

Eddie loves riddles but you don’t always love them - sometimes they’re too complicated or you take it a bit too literally, and you’re scared he’ll think you’re stupid if you don’t understand them. He really doesn’t think you’re stupid though, not in the slightest - you show time and time again how smart you are, and he likes getting to explain riddles to you anyway.

If you’re a picky eater and don’t like certain textures, he makes sure to only buy and make food that you definitely will eat - he doesn’t push you to try new foods, doesn’t complain that you eat the same thing most of the time, because as long as you’re eating and healthy, that’s what matters.

When you have meltdowns, regardless of what the trigger is or where you are, Eddie drops everything to be at your side; he keeps calm as he speaks to you, his words clear, and doesn’t rush you to answer him or do anything - he lets you have the time and space you need to regulate yourself while also letting you know that he’s there if you need anything.

In general, he understands the importance of speaking clearly and calmly, how important it is to you that he say what he means and that he doesn’t make you feel overwhelmed or rushed. He encourages you to communicate however you can, whether that’s verbally or not, and takes the time to hear you even when you’re not using your voice. He learns your body language, learns how to tell from your posture or your gestures when you’re stressed and needing to go somewhere quiet.

Eddie understands that you’re not a child, by the way, and he doesn’t treat you like one, nor does he treat you like you’re incapable of anything. He respects that you’re self-sufficient, that you are more than capable of making decisions, and he’s encouraging when you do try out new things. You are very much a human being and deserve to be treated like one.

Just in general Eddie is such a supportive and wonderful partner 💚

Like what I post? I’m poor and I have a Ko-Fi 💚

#the riddler #edward nashton #paul dano #the batman #danonation #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader #the riddler imagine #paul dano x reader #autism #imagines

[thedanoriddler]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #paul dano #zoe kazan

[thedanoriddler]

🟢 Edward Nashton x Sick!Reader Headcanons ⚫️

Hey all, ya girl here has had fucking tonsillitis (or some other throat infection, my doctor just said my throat was SUPER infected) since Tuesday, and also too much time on her hands 😷🤧 figured I might as well put my sickness to good use for everyone!

Warnings: As title implies, being unwell: sickness mentioned is a flu/cold/throat/chest kind of illness, not p*ke. It’s literally just me using my illness and writing Eddie taking care of me/a reader who’s as ill as I’ve been. Literally is just soft fluffy comfort shit.

It starts as a sore throat and sniffle, you think it’s probably just a cold on its way, but then it actually just gets worse and worse

The second you so much as sniffle one morning, Eddie is right by your side because he’s hyper tuned to every little movement and sound you make - you can’t hide anything from him

“I’m fine, Eddie, really, it’s nothing-” “Nooo, no, (Y/N), you’re sick! Lie down, just lie down and I’ll be right back with some tea!”

You literally don’t have a choice, that man insists that you rest and he doesn’t take no for an answer

“It’s probably just a cold,” you mumble as you start to fall asleep, Eddie covering you with a blanket. “I’ll feel better after a nap…”

Yeah, no, you really don’t

You wake up after napping and can’t swallow anything without wanting to gag or cry - it just hurts too much. Eddie worries so much over you as he tries to get you to drink some more tea, but it doesn’t help. You can’t even swallow painkillers because your throat is so swollen

After some debate, you let Eddie look down your throat with a torch because he insists - his eyes widen and he tells you that there’s red and white patches, that you should probably go to a doctor. You’re stubborn though and tell him you’ll feel better after more sleep.

That night is absolutely miserable for both of you because you can’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time without waking up in pain, and nothing Eddie does seems to help: you’re just in so much pain and you’re running a fever, alternating between having the sweats and having chills

Poor Eddie just wants to help so bad but he feels kind of useless because all he can do is let you curl up with him as you whimper and cry out in pain

You try showering or bathing in the morning but you’re burning up and can barely move, he has to help you get to the bathroom and help you get cleaned up because you can’t stand straight

When Eddie tries to make you some food, you turn all of it down - you can’t even swallow water or ice cream without it burning, without it feeling like knives in your throat, and you have literally zero appetite now anyway

Getting a doctor’s appointment quickly in Gotham is pretty much impossible, the healthcare is severely underfunded in most parts of the city and you’d be more likely to shit gold than find a decent doctor on short notice - but Eddie has his ways; somehow he manages to get a doctor to see you that evening, and he listens to everything the doctor says so he can help you get better

You get prescribed a course of antibiotics (penicillin) and Eddie is so diligent about making sure you start them immediately: he writes down the times you take a dose, makes sure you have all your doses, spaces them out so that you have a chance to eat between doses but can still take the pills on an empty stomach like you’re supposed to… he just wants to help you so bad, all he wants is for you to get better ASAP because he hates seeing you sick and in pain

He knows he could catch whatever you’ve got but he doesn’t care: when you ask him to cuddle you, he’s all too eager. You spend most of the week as you recover with his arms around you, his head on your chin, your head on his chest, his voice low and vibrating in your ear as he mumbles and tells you his favourite riddles

It doesn’t matter that your brain is too fogged and tired to understand riddles right now, hearing him recite them is enough to bring a small smile to your face because it’s just so… him.

You wear one of Eddie’s hoodies or jumpers when you’re feeling shivery and feel so comforted by it because it smells like him 💚

The two of you put some boring daytime television shit on and fall asleep to it together, curled up on the couch with a blanket 🥹

He helps you get to bed early after a dose of antibiotics, pulling the duvet over you as you doze off and pressing a kiss against your hot forehead; he stays by your side all night, barely sleeping himself, watching you and brushing your hair from your face as you sleep

The relief on his face when, the day after you start taking the medicine, you tell him your appetite is back and you’re feeling a little bit better is honestly so goddamn pure, his face lights up and he’s just so damn happy that you’re already doing better

Eddie does his research on what foods and drinks are good for sore throats and fevers because of course he does, and he is all too happy to cook and make things for you to eat

He also goes out and buys a shit ton of sore throat sweets in your favourite flavour, like boxes and boxes of them, it’s really so endearing

Let’s be honest, being sick really fucking sucks - but it sucks a little less when you’ve got Eddie there with you, giving you cuddles and looking after you 💚

#the riddler #edward nashton #paul dano #the batman #danonation #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader #the riddler imagine #paul dano x reader

[thedanoriddler]

Random thought but can you imagine Eddie’s reaction to his significant other being in the arts, like an actor or singer or dancer or whatever, and them being sad when they get passed over for a role that ends up going to someone less talented/who only got cast based on looks?

#why no this oddly specific scenario is not about something in my day to day life ha ha hee 🤡 #the riddler #edward nashton #paul dano #the batman #danonation #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader #the riddler imagine

[thedanoriddler]

SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP

#aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #the riddler #edward nashton #paul dano #the batman #danonation #the riddler: year one #dc

[thedanoriddler]

I’m so sorry, y’all, guess who’s fucking sick again because they work two jobs with children under the age of 6 🤡 I wish I was joking but sadly not.

I’m working on your requests when I can but honestly I’m struggling to stay awake in between bouts of choking on whatever is in my throat, and also struggling to breathe between a nose that’s decided to alternate between blocked and runny, and I feel pretty shit so… the only positive is that it’s not coming up as COVID.

Anyway, bear with me, I’m hoping to post some things this week if I can!

[thedanoriddler]

Is this a place where we talk about chubby Paul? Possibly migrating into chubby Eddie? Bc oh BOY

YES YES OH GOD YES IT CERTAINLY IS 🥹😭

[thedanoriddler]

Hi omg I love ur work🥺🥺 I was wondering if u could do Edward nashton meeting his old crush from the orphanage while he is riddler accidentally? Like they both wanna kill this guy and he realises who she is 🥺🥺💕💕 thank u

Oh my god, I love this idea! I’m afraid I got a little carried away and it ended up becoming a full on fic at this point but… hopefully you’ll enjoy!

Warnings for fluff, the first parts are literally the cutest thing I’ve written 💚 also for talk of death and murder but this is Eddie/Riddler we’re talking about so 😂 I apologise in advance for any OOC nonsense, it’s been a long few weeks for me 😭

Also, there aren’t any gender terms so I suppose this is a gender neutral reader but I’ll admit that while writing it, I was imagining myself (a woman) 😅 I imagine the reader later on in the story is a little like Selina Kyle because… well, you’ll see. Hopefully it’ll make sense in the story! But the reader doesn’t have a particular gender in this story so… yep! All genders can enjoy! ❤️

********

After the death of your parents, you were of course sent to the Gotham Orphanage. It was difficult enough losing both of your parents, let alone being forced to now live in what was quite possibly the most underfunded, dirty, cold orphanage in the world. To add, the adults in charge were unsympathetic, not caring that you were grieving your lost family, and the other kids were largely no better from what you could tell. You immediately hated it there, and you wished more than ever that you could go back to how things were before - you and your parents, happy and together.

There was soon one bright spot though.

You had seen the shy boy with glasses a few times around the orphanage, usually reading or working on some kind of puzzle; he didn’t appear to have any friends, and you’d even overheard some of the other kids make fun of him, but because they were older and bigger, you hadn’t been able to step in. He seemed so unlike the other children at the orphanage, you thought, and you wondered if it might be worth speaking to him - even if you only had one friend, it was bound to be less lonely than having none. It took a few weeks before you had the right opportunity to talk to him away from anyone else and also after settling into your new “home”, but eventually the right moment came.

It had been a chilly autumn day, and you saw him sitting outside under a tree away from the other children playing - you didn’t really want to play with any of the other kids, so you decided you’d speak to the shy boy, maybe ask what he was doing. You noticed that he looked surprised when you sat down opposite him, glancing around as if expecting you to be sitting with someone else, as if you were only sitting near him as a coincidence.

“Hi,” you greeted, somewhat awkwardly. “I’m (Y/N).”

The boy blinked and didn’t speak for a long moment, and you briefly wondered if he even could speak - perhaps he was mute or something. Just as you were debating apologising for disturbing him and leaving, you heard a quiet voice.

“I’m… I’m Edward.”

“Edward.” You repeated it, determined to remember it. “Umm… What are you reading, Edward?”

He looked down at his book and back, still perplexed that you were talking to him - it was obvious he was mostly ignored. “Oh, I’m not reading… Well, I suppose I am, but… It’s a riddle book actually.”

“Riddles? Like… Like a problem you solve?”

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling slightly to himself. “Sort of. They can be misleading or puzzling, and you have to be smart to solve them - that’s why I like them.”

“Huh. Can you try one on me?” You ask, your interest piqued.

“Oh.” He looked surprised by your question but still flipped open his book and searched for one hurriedly. “These are super easy ones, but… The less of me you have, the more one is worth; treat me with care as I will you, and both of us will share our time on earth. What am I?”

You wrinkled your nose up as your thought, which made him smile even more to himself; it took nearly a whole minute to consider what he’d said before you figured it out. “Is it… a friend?”

“Yes!” His eyes lit up behind his glasses, and you realised absentmindedly that he had green eyes. “Yes, it is a friend! You’re the only person who’s figured it out when I’ve asked them!”

For the first time since your parents had died, you felt yourself smile, almost wryly. “So… Are you asking me to be your friend?”

His mouth opened and closed very quickly. “I… umm… I…” It was clear that he was worried he’d offended you somehow. “I didn’t mean to… I mean, if- if you don’t want to be then… then that’s okay…”

You looked at this shy but intelligent boy in front of you, at his huge glasses and the way his cheeks had gone pink, and knew immediately what your answer would be. “Yes.”

“Y- Yes?” His eyes were even wider than ever, voice no louder than a disbelieving whisper.

You smiled and moved closer to him. “Yes, I want to be friends.”

****

Edward Nashton was not only your friend - he was your best friend, and you were his.

The two of you spent most of your time together, usually finding an empty room or quiet area of the orphanage to be alone in away from the other children, and you were practically inseparable. You did a lot of puzzles - not just riddles but also jigsaws, word problems, sudoku, even card games - together, and when you weren’t playing those, you’d sit and talk for hours. You’d never had a friend like Eddie, not even when your parents had been alive, and being around him made dealing with their loss so much easier.

It didn’t take long for you to trust Eddie or feel at ease with him, and you told him everything; you told him about your parents, about where you used to live, your old school, about how they died. He listened intently to everything, and you knew that he never forgot anything you told him - he was so smart, much smarter than a lot of the other kids in the city, and you knew he could memorise things easily, especially when it came to you.

You learnt that Eddie had lived at the orphanage ever since he could remember, that he could barely remember his own parents - and the small scraps that he did remember about his parents weren’t nearly as wonderful as what you knew about yours. You were understanding yet horrified when he recounted that he could remember his father hurting him and calling him “stupid”, and you told Edward that he was the smartest person you’d ever met - and it was the truth.

Neither of you were particularly liked by the other kids at the orphanage - mostly Edward was targeted by your peers, although you found that you also got teased and made fun of for standing up for him, for hanging around with him. You wouldn’t have had it any other way - Edward was your best friend, and that was that. You mostly ignored the others, knowing they weren’t worth your time.

But Edward got it much worse than you; he’d been there longer, and his intense love of puzzles and riddles singled him out. You saw the bruises on your friend from being pushed over, the way the frames of his glasses repeatedly got snapped, and even on one occasion you’d been the one who found him after the others had forced his head down a toilet. It made you so angry, so full of rage, that people could treat him like this - and that the orphanage staff did nothing to stop this. In fact, the staff didn’t even attempt to hide their dislike of Edward, ignoring the bullying even when it happened in front of them and even encouraging it at times.

You wanted nothing more than to hurt the people who hurt your best friend.

“They’re just jealous,” you told him firmly as you finished taping his glasses frame back together - thankfully, the lenses were intact still. “They’re all jealous because they know you’re ten times smarter than they ever will be, Eddie. You’re going to go on to do great things, you’re going to change this city, and they’re afraid of that - afraid of how powerful you’ll be.”

He sniffed, putting his glasses back on his face before looking at you with a hopeful stare. “You think so?”

You nodded emphatically. “I know so.”

He smiled weakly, allowing you to smooth down the collar of his shirt and help fix his hair; after a moment, he looked at you in an almost bashful way. “You… You called me Eddie.”

“Huh. I guess I did.” You met his eyes. “Is that okay? Can I call you that?”

“Absolutely,” Eddie breathed, and the way he looked at you made you feel somewhat funny inside. “I… I like you calling me that.”

“Good.” You beamed at him happily before taking his arm. “Come on, we’ve got time until the dinner bell - enough time for you to help me finish that crossword.”

****

It was official: Eddie had a crush on you, his best friend.

As you both hit adolescence, he started to realise it more and more; he had always liked you, obviously, as you were his best friend - but this was different. For a while, he’d passed off the intensity of it as just really caring about you because of your friendship, because neither of you had anyone else - you were the only good thing in his life. But as you both started to grow out of childhood, it became more and more obvious that what he was feeling wasn’t platonic at all.

It wasn’t platonic to feel a warm tingle whenever you touched his arm, he realized, nor that he had thoughts of wanting to embrace you, of holding your hand as you walked everywhere together. He noticed more and more that he was staring at your mouth and wondering what it would be like to kiss you, what you’d taste like, and even how you might react if he just kissed you randomly. Oh, and it definitely was not platonic to have dreams about you, especially not dreams that left his heart pounding and body tense.

Eddie had it bad for you, but he was scared of you finding out - scared not only that you’d reject him, but also that it would ruin your friendship completely and he’d then have no one anymore. He imagined scenarios of your possible reactions to finding out he had a crush on you, but he knew you’d never like him back, not like that - of course you wouldn’t, he thought miserably, because you were so amazing, so incredible, that why would you like him in that way?

He tucked away memories of certain moments in his mind, knowing that reliving them in his thoughts was the closest he’d ever get to actually being in a relationship with you; your beautiful eyes lighting up at the sight of him, a hand on his arm or shoulder, your laugh, the way you called him ‘Eddie’ so affectionately, how you stood up to those who bullied the two of you. It kept him going on even the worst days, and despite knowing he couldn’t tell you of his feelings, that it would most likely never happen, he was still so happy to just spend every day with you.

And then you were gone.

One day some distant relatives of yours came; they’d been overseas for the last several years and hadn’t realised your parents had died, that you’d been living in this rundown orphanage that no one in the city cared enough about to fix. You were overjoyed, not really to see them as you’d not really met them before but more so because it meant you’d get to leave this awful place, and once the staff of the orphanage were able to establish that they were indeed your relatives, you were going home with them.

It all happened very quickly; you were hurriedly made to pack your bag with the few belongings you had and rushed onwards without a backwards glance. As you approached the main door of the orphanage, however, you realised something.

“I need to say goodbye to Eddie,” You said, but when you attempted to turn around, one of the staff grabbed you by the arm and marched you forwards. “Wait, no, please, just let me say goodbye to him-!”

But none of them would listen, not even your relatives; you begged them for just five minutes so you could find your best friend, so you could give him a phone number or even an address to write to, but they refused - they wanted to get out of Gotham as soon as possible.

“He’s my best friend,” You pleaded desperately, on the verge of tears. “Please, I can’t leave without saying goodbye!”

But they merely told you that you’d make other friends in your new home, that soon enough you wouldn’t even remember this old friend of yours, and he’d probably forget you too. You cried hard as you were driven away, vowing to yourself that you’d find Eddie someday, you’d find a way to let him know where you were, that you’d see each other again one day.

Eddie had watched you disappear from the window of the boys’ room, and he’d cried; he cried because the staff hadn’t allowed him to come and say goodbye, because they’d locked him in this room so he couldn’t get out, but mostly because his heart was broken. His only friend - his best friend - was gone without so much as a goodbye, and he had no idea where you’d gone.

Why didn’t you say goodbye?, he thought, hurt by this fact: he cared so much about you, and he had hoped that you cared about him too, even if it was only as a friend. It was like you didn’t care about him, that it was all a lie - and it was like a knife to the gut.

As the days turned to weeks, and then to months and years, he waited for any sign that you cared about him, for a letter or some kind of communication. But nothing ever came. It was like you’d forgotten all about him.

He never forgot you though - never.

****

After your relatives died many years later, you used the money they had left you to return to Gotham; it was even more awful than you remembered due to the crime rate skyrocketing, and it was clear that the streets were run by criminals - and no one did a thing about it.

You went back to the orphanage, hoping to find some information on your old best friend - to find out what happened to him, to track him down - but it was abandoned save for a few dropheads hiding out there. There were no records left, no hints as to your old friend’s current whereabouts, and you found yourself crying when you got back to your new apartment in Gotham because you had no idea how you’d find him, no idea if he was even still in the city or where he might have gone.

Gotham was a big city - even if he was still there, your chances at finding him were slim. He had no social media that you could find, no records… you wondered if he was even alive anymore. You remembered how every winter, at least one of the babies had died in the orphanage, and the older kids soon became dropheads… what if that had happened to your Eddie? You couldn’t bear the thought of it.

You were so angry - so ridiculously, undeniably angry - at what that place had done to you and Eddie, what might have happened to him after you had been taken away. And as you spent longer and longer back in Gotham, this anger began to rise: you were realizing more than ever that the people who ran this city were corrupt, that they were in fact the same people responsible for the miserable childhood you and your best friend had endured. Just as during your childhood, no one did anything to help in this city - everyone just let it happen. The closest anyone had to justice was a damn masked vigilante running around dressed like a bat, and that wasn’t really helping much in terms of changing the overall corruption of the city.

Someone needed to do something - and if that had to be you, then so be it.

****

No one knew who the Riddler was - exactly how he wanted it.

Edward Nashton had built this persona carefully, had spent months plotting and planning things before they were put into motion. He had made sure everything was perfect: the coat one of his favourite shades of dark green, the mask hid everything but his eyes, it was comfortable and not too loose whilst allowing him to wear his glasses. There was no chance of leaving any of his DNA behind; his gloves were thick but didn’t leave fibres behind, he knew how to meticulously wrap his head in clingwrap before donning his mask so that there was no chance of hairs being left behind. Every inch of him was covered, even his mouth, and it would be impossible for the GCPD or anyone else to link The Riddler back to Edward Nashton, a forensic accountant. No one would suspect him, no one would know until he chose to reveal it.

But for now he had things that needed doing; the first step of his great plan was to murder the mayor, Don Mitchell Jr, on Halloween night. The death of the city mayor would change everything, and he almost couldn’t wait - but he had to, for he had something he needed to do first.

The director of the old Gotham Orphanage where he’d grown up was in his late fifties now, living comfortably on the outskirts of the city. Edward had done his research: the man had no family and lived alone - he was almost too easy a target. He was not a high profile figure, not like the mayor or the others who would form a part of his plan to bring to truth to the light - it was a personal matter, something he had to do for himself.

The director had been the one who punished him, who never stopped the bullying and abuse inflicted by the other children and staff - but worst of all, he was the one who had signed the documents that took his best friend away, the one who sneered as he refused to give any information or allow him to write a letter.

Perhaps it was selfish - he was doing this purely for himself and not for the city - but he didn’t care. No one could blame him for wanting to kill this man, and no one would miss him.

It was easy to sneak into the old director’s small apartment on the outside of the city; the man had left a window open before going out for dinner, and Edward had to try not to smirk under his mask as he used the fire escape to climb up and slip inside. Now all he had to do was wait.

The plan was simple: he would wait for the ex-director to return, hidden away behind the bedroom door, and then strike when the moment was right. He knew where exactly to strike the skull, how to stage it to look like he’d just fallen and never gotten up. No one would investigate further than what was immediately obvious - the GCPD weren’t clever enough for that, and wouldn’t want to put the work in for someone so meaningless.

As he entered the bedroom to wait, however, it became immediately clear that he wasn’t alone.

He deflected the blow that came his way easily despite his surprise, reaching for the bludgeon he had on his belt; the figure who had attacked him was reeling back, planning their next attack, and he noticed that they were smaller, their face covered by a balaclava, dressed completely in black. He hadn’t planned for an additional person - this was certainly not his target, and the fact they were masked made it obvious that they, like him, certainly weren’t supposed to be there either.

The figure launched again, and Edward grabbed them by the arm; they were either sloppy in their fighting or taken just as aback as he was by his appearance. He hadn’t been planning on killing a second person tonight, but if he had to then he would - it would be sloppy not to. The stranger huffed, trying to break free, and he pulled them closer so that he could manoeuvre them with both of his hands. The eyes behind the mask flashed and-

And he felt his breath catch. He knew those eyes: he’d thought about them every day and night since he was a child.

It couldn’t be.

He let go, and the stranger moved away, panting harshly. “Jesus Christ, what the fuck, dude???”

The voice was familiar - not quite the same, it was slightly older but he recognised the tone, the accent, the way this person spoke. He had never forgotten your voice - he had never forgotten anything about you, even years later.

“Listen, I’m here for someone in particular, I don’t want to hurt anyone else, so if you could just-”

“(Y/N)?” His voice was soft and muffled by the mask.

You stopped speaking, surprised that this person knew your name; you hadn’t really met anyone upon returning to Gotham, keeping to yourself, and even so, you’d thought your mask would provide you anonymity. “Do I know you?”

Now that you weren’t actively fighting this person, you got a good look at them; it was a man, judging by the stature and voice, and he was dressed in a green trench coat with a white question mark painted on the left side. The mask covered their whole face, but you realised now that they were wearing a pair of glasses.

With a jolt, you remembered that Eddie had worn glasses like that. But it couldn’t be him, it couldn’t possibly…

You hesitated for a moment before reaching up and removing your mask; the eyes behind the glasses widened in recognition, and you realised those eyes were green - just like his, the exact same shade.

“Eddie?” You murmured, heart pounding.

For a moment, the masked figure didn’t say anything - and then, slowly, he removed his glasses before reaching up and pulling his mask off.

He had grown up, just as you had, but you knew: this was Eddie, your Eddie. Even though he’d wrapped his head in something, even though his face was older than that of the teenage boy you’d loved, even though it had been years, you knew it was him.

“I…” You felt your throat close up. “Eddie.”

“(Y/N)…” He looked thunderstruck at the sight of you as he replaced the glasses onto his face. “I… Hi.”

Before you could stop yourself, you were throwing your arms around him whilst trying to hold your tears back. “Fuck, Eddie, I’ve been trying to find you! I thought…” You sniffed. “I missed you.”

He was surprised by this, but you felt a tentative hand on your back as he relaxed slightly. “I missed you too.”

You pulled away to look at him, a flurry of emotions running through you; you couldn’t believe it, that after all this time, after all the pain and heart ache of being separated from him, you’d found him when you weren’t even expecting it. Now you were looking at him properly, you could see that this was without a doubt your best friend - there was no mistaking it.

“What are you doing here?” You questioned, head still spinning. “And… why are you dressed like that?”

Eddie opened his mouth and closed it again, not certain on how to answer. “Oh. I’m… well… this is what I do,” He said carefully. “I was… waiting for someone.”

“Oh.”

“And why are you here? And dressed like that?” He asked, rather perplexed.

You hesitated for the second time that evening, not sure of how much to tell him - you didn’t think he would go to the police or turn you in, but you were completely sure of how he’d react to the truth. But then, you thought as you looked at how he was dressed, perhaps he understood more than you thought. “For the same reason as you, I think; I’m here for him.”

You could tell by the way his eyes lit up with understanding that you were right. “We’re both after the same person - to make him pay.”

There were a lot of things the two of you needed to discuss - you hadn’t seen each other for roughly a decade and a half, after all - but you were both aware of where you were, and that you didn’t have time to have that conversation here. Instead, you toyed with your mask before sending the man in front of you a meaningful look.

“How about,” You began slowly. “We work together and take care of this guy, and then maybe we can catch up later?”

Eddie considered this for a moment before slowly nodding and preparing to put his own mask back on. “I think that’s a good plan.”

As it turned out, it was so much easier to do with two.

****

Crap ending be crap lol

May write a follow up to this where they talk and he confesses his feelings, who knows? 😉

#the riddler #edward nashton #paul dano #the batman #danonation #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader #the riddler imagine #asks #paul dano x reader

[thedanoriddler]

I, umm, got a bit carried away with one of the requests and I’m hoping to have it posted soon but it’s like… a full on fic now so… like a good few thousand words long so… yep.

#will delete this later just warning you all 😭