theforgottenlittleprincess
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I just had another one of my mental arguments in my head with my OB and why isn’t real me as much of a bad ass as mental me like I mean, come on this would be so much easier, heck my life would be-.. actually never mind my my life would probably be way more of a cluster fuck than it already is so scratch that but basically we were talking about my PCOS again and she was saying how she refuses to do the surgery and she was putting me on more pills and I said OK so you want to put me on a diuretic that has all of these issues and would probably make my sodium levels worse which would make my seizure medication ineffective and my seizures worse which would probably kill me just because you don’t want to take out my ovaries because you’re saying that I need the estrogen to prevent my bones from being brittle faster with is going to happen anyways when I get older unless I go on estrogen supplements which I’m already doing holistically because you already told me that my body wasn’t making enough estrogen because I’m not ovulating because my ovaries are full of cyst that you won’t take out despite how much pain I’m in, but you want to put me on a diuretic that miiight help with excess body hair as a side effect… but will cause me to urinate more, which will cause my sodium levels to go out of whack which will cause problems with my epilepsy medication which will cause me to have more seizures which will freaking kill me but you don’t wanna take out my ovaries because you think that because I am a young single woman, when I get married, I’m gonna all of a sudden change my entire life, views and want to have children and I will come back and sue you…. even though I can’t have children because my ovaries aren’t working… the ovaries that are full of cysts and are a ticking time bomb increasing my risk of cancer, weight gain, insulin resistant diabetes, heart disease not to mention the mental strain, depression and crippling pain…. Yeah… sounds like a fan 🦆ing tasting idea to me! What could possibly go wrong.😑 I hate the south…
#tumblr diary#dear tumblr#venting#sorry for being depressing#woman rights#someone help#pcos#pcosawareness#epilepsy#seriously wtf#medical issues#stop prejudice#discrimination
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My OB went back on her promise to let me get my ovaries removed... even though I have MORE cysts and they are insanely painful... She won't let me... 🦆 ling hate the south!!!
Why do I need a man to say I can do this? Why can’t a single (30 🦆ing year old) woman choose to have her ovaries removed?
Why does me not wanting to risk a FOURTH miscarriage to have biological kids with a pregnancy I know would be insanely risky to both me and the child?
Not to mention my 💩 genes like could you imagine?! I would HATE myself if my poor kid had to go through half the 💩 I have….
Shouldn't my OB put my physical and mental health ahead of her own political opinions?!
And I swear to everything if she says “You are still young and you’re single you’re going to meet a nice man and decide you do want to have kids. You’re a woman after all that happens all the time.” To me again I swear I’m going to throw something at her!
#tumblr diary#dear tumblr#venting#woman rights#seriously wtf#is this legal?#pls help#someone help#sorry for being depressing
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Tmw you work your 🍑 off for 72 straight hours, while recovering from the flu, to make $75 to pay a cc bill… only to immediately get charged $50 of NSF fees the second it hits your bank account…..
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Guess who has been crying for two days straight? THIS CHICK! Guess why? Found out her biological father who she has never met or even knew what he looked like died like 14 years ago! Why is she devastated? No idea!
It is nice I will admit knowing that he did not give up the custody battle with my mom willingly.
See, when he died he was in the middle of fighting my mom got custody of me… I always wandered why he disappeared.. and why he never came back after I turned 18… turns out he died… I feel relieved but that also makes me feel guilty.
Apparently I also have another sister and a brother I didn’t know about…
I think I’m guna send flowers to his grave.
Oooh I need therapy so bad….
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Wellness pause
When was the last time you had some water? Something to eat?
Take a moment to look away from your screen. Look out a window, relax those eye muscles.
Brushed your teeth today? Is it time to floss?
Braces folks: Do you have rubber bands in?
Do a bit of a stretch, get out of that slouched state. If you can, lift your arms above your head a bit. Give your back a good stretch. Get up, do some steps in the same spot.
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World’s best mom? Researchers from the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute observed this deep-sea octopus brooding eggs for over four years—longer than any known animal. Watch this extreme parenting in action!
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neocities guide - why you should build your own html website
do you miss the charm of the 90s/00s web where sites had actual personality instead of the same minimalistic theme? are you feeling drained by social media and the constant corporate monopoly of your data and time? do you want to be excited about the internet again?
try neocities!!
what is neocities?
neocities is a free hosting website that lets you build your own html website from scratch, with total creative control. in their own words:
"we are tired of living in an online world where people are isolated from each other on boring, generic social networks that don't let us truly express ourselves. it's time we took back our personalities from these sterilized, lifeless, monetized, data mined, monitored addiction machines and let our creativity flourish again."
why should I make my own website?
web3 has been overtaken by capitalism & conformity. websites that once were meant to be fun online social spaces now exist solely to steal your data and sell you things. it sucks!!
building a personal site is a great way to express yourself and take control of your online experience.
what would I even put on a website?
the best part about making your own site is that you can do literally whatever the hell you want! focus on a specific subject or make it a wild collection of all your interests. share your art! make a shrine for one of your interests! post a picture of every bird you see when you step outside! make a collection of your favorite blinkies! the world is your oyster !!
here are some cool example sites to inspire you:
recently updated neocities sites | it can be fun to just look through these and browse people's content!
space bar | local interstellar dive bar
creature feature | halloween & monsters
big gulp supreme
peanutbuttaz | personal site
dragodiluna
linwood | personal site
patho grove | personal site
getting started: neocities/html guide
sound interesting? here are some guides to help you get started, especially if you aren't familiar with html/css
sadgrl.online webmastery | a fantastic resource for getting started with html & web revival. also has a layout builder that you can use to start with in case starting from scratch is too intimidating
web design in 4 minutes | good for learning coding basics
w3schools | html tutorials
templaterr | demo & html for basic web elements
eggramen test pages | css page templates to get started with
sadgrl background tiles | bg tiles
rivendell background tiles | more free bg tiles
fun stuff to add to your site
want your site to be cool? here's some fun stuff that i've found
blinkies-cafe | fantastic blinkie maker! (run by @transbro & @graphics-cafe)
gificities | internet archive of 90s/00s web gifs
internet bumper stickers | web bumper stickers
momg | gif gallery
99 gif shop | 3d gifs
123 guestbook | add a guestbook for people to leave messages
cbox | add a live chat box
moon phases | track the phases of the moon
gifypet | a little clickable page pet
adopt a shroom | mushroom page pet
tamaNOTchi | virtual pet
crossword puzzle | daily crossword
imood | track your mood
neko | cute cat that chases your mouse
pollcode | custom poll maker
website hit counter | track how many visitors you have
web revival manifestos & communities
also, there's actually a pretty cool community of people out there who want to bring joy back to the web!
melonland project | web project/community celebrating individual & joyful online experiences. Also has an online forum
melonland intro to web revival | what is web revival?
melonking manifesto |
status cafe | share your current status
nightfall city | online community
onio.cafe | leave a message and enjoy the ambiance
sadgrl internet manifesto |
yesterweb internet manifesto | sadly defunct, still a great resource
reclaiming online social spaces | great manifesto on cultivating your online experience
in conclusion
i want everyone to make a neocities site because it's fun af and i love seeing everyone's weird personal sites that they made outside of the control of capitalism :)
say hi to me on neocities
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You can only reblog this today or until the next Monday, June 19th, 2028.
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“It is as if man had been suddenly appointed managing director of the biggest business of all, the business of evolution - appointed without being asked if he wanted it, and without proper warning and preparation. What is more, he can't refuse the job.
Whether he wants to or not, whether he is conscious of what he is doing or not, he is in point of fact determining the future direction of evolution on this earth.
That is his inescapable destiny, and the sooner he realises it and starts believing in it, the better for all concerned.”
Julian Huxley, "Transhumanism”
Welp… We are all 🦆 ed…
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You can only reblog this today or until the next Monday, June 19th, 2028.
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https://linktr.ee/littlestoftheones
I made a silly link tree to consolidate and it just looked fun in all honesty… I also made an OF that isn’t linked yet since I haven’t done anything with it yet… I waaaas getting mentored on reddit about how to get back into adult cam stuff and how to be successful on OF buuuuut with all the drama over something the ceo did reddit has gone all to hell in a hat basket… well… ok it already kinda was but this time someone like set the basket on freaking fire and doused it in moonshine cause it is bad… so… now I dunno what to do… I don’t want any OF that is totally nsfw and like clickbait level dirty cause that’s just not me.. I want to have fun doing this… I mean it 80% fun/keep me from loosing my 💩
10% confidence building/a little lonely 5% I’m bored (and probably high) 4.5% curious and like 0.5% half hoping for a little bit of financial independence… not holding my breath though… but… now wtf do I do T-T
#linktree#stuff i made#self promo#i don’t know what to put here#i don’t know what i’m doing#small biz#newbie#stoner#420#dear tumblr#tumblr diary#yeah idk#now what#just fml#please
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I was having one of those internal debates/rants with myself… which according to TikTok, before I deleted my account, that is a trauma symptom which is just ‘heh?!’ In and of itself… buuuut back to the original topic before I forget, I was ranting about how drastically things have changed since I was a kid and how my great grandparents, especially my Pepa, instilled in me “If they look pretty on a dress and have nice legs you say yes Ma’am. If they stand tall with their shoulders square and chin up you say yes Sir.” And how that has kinda just engrained in me since I was in preschool just an almost subconscious view of sexual fluidity and just also made me realize what a huge impact they had on me as a person… And I also can’t believe I never realized how freaking gay they were. Probably because my grandmother is the most racist homophobic one human being you will ever meet but her parents were the biggest hippie low key swingers on earth! Here is a photo of my great grandpa when he was about my age lol I believe and his “Friend” taken by my great grandmother, Mema, as well as some other photos of him also taken by Mema... if you can’t tell they are also the ones who got me into photography and modeling hahaha Mema is the one who got me my first camera and she taught me to sew. I believe these were taken in the late 1930’s to mid 40’s
#dear tumblr#tumblr diary#happy pride 🌈#pride month#old photo#vintage#memories#missing them#happy memories#r.i.p.#lgbtq#lgbtlove#bisexual#handsome
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Tmw you find out finally a delivery service has started working in hour area AND they take ebt which means you can finally have reliable access to food without having to fight and beg your controlling toxic family who uses your disabilities to force you to depend on them and therefore keep you under control… now you just have to find a way to make your very small food stamps go as far as possible… cause right now you’re almost out of food and still have about two weeks to go…
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Papa went postal on me because Mom is sick with bad allergies and I didn’t answer the first time he called… he reminded me that he is the one who pays for my phone… even though he doesn’t it’s just in his name… but… everything is in his name… so… it doesn’t matter… he basically said the only person allowed to turn off or silence my phone is him… even though my phone wasn’t off.. or silent… i was asleep.. because I hadn’t slept in over 48 hours because I hurt my back and I can barely breath or move… so I took a small dose of nyquil… and I didn’t wake up the first time my phone rang… woke up and answered the 2nd… but not the first… i was hysterical for an hour after hanging up… i cried so hard it triggered my period to start again and now I have a fever… I’m at mom’s like I was ordered… though I would have came down anyway… but shes asleep on the couch with a headache…
I hate myself so much… all I can think about is how all Mom has to do is puke once and the world comes to a screeching hault… I feel like no one cares about me though… about how much pain I’m in… it also doesn’t matter that he lives right next door and nothing is stopping him from being here… he just doesn’t want to… i feel like those Waddle Dees from Kirby.. but without the cute little pink critter coming to save me.. and… as everyone would tell ya… I’m not nearly as cute…
Ugh i’m guna stress myself into a seizure if I don’t chill….
#dear tumblr#tumblr diary#venting#self loathing#toxic family#feeling alone#im sorry#screaming crying throwing up#am i a bad person
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