tomdayaconfessions

[tomdayaconfessions]

dog piling is gonna happen no matter what. you know the difference? People make fun of Tom’s height and lips. Zendaya is forced to endure racism. Mostly at the hands of Tom fans who are still convinced he’s meant to be with a white British girl. Again. The shit they will receive isnt at all the same. But you guys will continue to baby him and fall on the sword for him bc people make fun of his height. But not at all Z due to the racism she’ll be up against. So saying shit like you’re worried about what will happen to Tom if they break up is so dumb. He’ll be ok. I promise you

No absolutely, I get your point, we can’t compare the hate when there is underlying or overt racism involved. We may agree to disagree here, but the part of the fandom I’ve mainly been engaging in, they are more than aware of the added dimension of racism. I’ve yet to come across anyone in the Tomdaya tumblr space who would as you say baby him and not stand up for Z (other than probably some of the anons they receive). Twitter and Instagram are a completely different ball game where I would see more of the fans you mention (e.g. Tom fans that want him with a British white girl etc). But thanks for engaging, it’s a valid point because at the end of the day he’s white and he’s a man, that’s a level of privilege Z will never have.

#tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

It’s so interesting the way Tom fans will always say “if they break up Tom is gonna get shit on” as if every tomdaya blog on this site didn’t turn into a Tom fan page once Z was spotted out with Jacob. As if Z wasn’t completely raked over the coals. Blogs on here were so nasty to her. I’m tired of y’all infantilizing Tom. As if he wasn’t the messy one when everything popped off, and as if he didn’t have soldiers defending him and Olivia and bashing Z being out with Jacob. But sure y’all can keep rewriting history.

Hey, so I'm gonna respond from my perspective (albeit I pretty much dipped around that time so I don't know overall what was going on here) - when July 17th happened, there was a lot of hate for Tom going around (mainly on twitter), there's no denying that. Similarly when Z and JE started being linked together, again there was a lot of hate - when you've only got bits and pieces of information and people are trying to connect the dots, it's not always a pretty picture they start pulling together and so people where accusing both of them of really horrible things.

Like I don't disagree with you here on the treatment Z had, but we also can't completely erase the fact that Tom also went through shit that Summer. I think the “if they break up Tom is gonna get shit on” bit is probably because the Olivia pics dropped first and that spread far and wide so a lot of people remember that (and mind up until then Tom had pretty much only been linked with Z) so a lot of people assumed there was something more unpleasant going on. The JE/Z relationship only really blew up after the Feb-20 pictures, at that point the T/O situation was effectively ancient history so although some of the reactions to Z were very unpleasant, there wasn't that much wider pile on from locals. I think that's probably the difference, the dog piling for Tom seemed to expand outside of fandom spaces (and therefore more visible overall) whilst for Z it was mainly confined in fandom spaces. Again, that's not to detract from some of the nasty things being said about both of them.

So I think there's probably a distinction here between the fandom reaction (which you may be right about, again I wasn't really here so can't comment) and the wider reaction from locals (that I remember pretty clearly), and please correct me if I'm wrong, I think when anons mention the potential dog piling if they break up, it's in context of the general public reaction.

#tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

i feel like if the car pics didn't happened, they would've laid low until the press tour. tom wouldn't have posted the dune and cfda (maybe not even the bday post or not a pic like this with a caption like this at least). they would've acted chill during the press tour but probably not as chill with the touching and free talk about their couple habits (cooking together, having movie nights etc).

but after the press tour, i feel like they would've progressively go public here and there by going out just the two of them and being more free with the pda and stuff because they wouldn't have the stress of dealing with annoying interviewers since they barely had any press all 2022

Yeah, I think they wouldn't have probably acknowledged anything on social media (as you say the Dune/CFDA posts in particular). It does make me laugh tho trying to picture them forcibly having to restrain themselves during the press tour having now bared witness to the press tour we got. But I don't think the press tour would have been that big of a factor in any case because they would have just had any questions blacklisted like they had done.

I think though given how they're moving now and particularly the way they are taking the relationship into consideration with respect to their free time, like no way would they be able to keep the likes of what we witnessed in NYC/Boston/Bootipest under wraps particularly as they're on a completely different level of fame right now. So yeah, probably not acknowledging it directly, but definitely not hiding it? (Until Z decides to drop a 'I text my boyfriend' on us dasjkjfhjdsf)

#tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

they're not posting anything from their vacay they're not the ones to show off on social media

but i can see her posting a pic from there for his bday, but we'll have to zoom in in the background to figure out they're on a beach or something lol

We can dream anon, we can dream! It's not like they haven't ever posted holiday pics, but I can understand in the current climate and their general taking a step back from social media.

Here's hoping for that birthday pic (and preferably we get his and hers versions this year...)

#tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

[lot's of words, sorry. and excuse my inperfect English]

Every 1-2 months, the breakup topic is being brought up by someone. And every time, many fans and blogs complain: "It's 2023 already! Have you not got tired yet? They are happy and moved on. Stop discussing that!".

I just wanna say that I understand you and it's okay if you're not interested in it at all, but firstly — we are not anties; secondly — why not discuss this (or absolutely anything else) when it's dry af? and it doesn't matter if you're an OG fan or a new fan.

And thirdly (most important), that topic has been discussed many times, is being discussed now and will continue to be discussed in the future because it was HUGE and LOUD and CONTROVERSIAL thing in the fandom and we've never solved this "mystery" and we do not know what, why and when exactly happend. And we'll never know. Yeah, we can make assumptions or we can trust "insiders" with their "tea" but it's still kinda big unanswered question that will always be at the back of fans' heads. Cos, among other things, if you don't know specifically why it happened the first time, you're a little worried about why and when it might happen again. So let it be

And in the end, a little advice to fans who ARE interested in the breakup topic to this day. Don't look for the answers in the past, look for them in the present. They would not have gotten back together if they had not deliberately decided to fix all the things that had ruined their relationship in 1.0. So, if you want to understand what caused the split back then, look at what they've changed in their rs in 2.0. What are the differences? And you'll find some huge changes and some small details as well.

Hi anon! Appreciate the long ask - it is so cyclical. To the end of time, this topic will come up again and again (and as you said, we're literally in the middle of a drought so people are bored). Until one of them writes a tell all memoir (never gonna happen), fans will be debating this, and even then so, the debate will still continue.

I understand not everyone likes this topic and that's completely your choice on what content you wish to consume, but it's not going to change the fact that there will always be a discussion every 3-5 business days.

I like your point about looking at the differences between 1.0 and 2.0 for context clues although would like to caveat that the biggest observable change (secret vs public) was essentially something out of their control. (I do wonder just how public/private they would have been in 2.0 had they not been outed - no damage control possibly, but also no outright confirmation of anything?)

#tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

Yeah all of these things about JE were rumors and we dont know how true they were. What is true is that there was some overlap between Z and his ex gf (she was still wearing his clothes when Jacob was in Greece and she unfollowed Z when the first pic of Jacob in Greece appeared). And Joey did like some posts about men cheating right after they broke up. So it's not a reach to assume he isn't the best partner overall

Now I don't think their relationship was toxic as some might think (because the rumors about him ignoring her during the relationship and not paying when they were eating out were just rumors). But it wasn't the best either that's for sure

Yeah, I don't think the relationship was necessarily toxic overall. I remember some of the comments people were making during that time and the less said the better. For me, it seems like Z's Hot Girl Summer turned into a Hot Girl Winter/Spring which then fizzled out during lockdown when it was apparent that there was no substance underneath the surface of the relationship. I think the main thing is that new people, new experiences, can often result in personal growth, discovery and maturity - I hope she got whatever she needed out of that relationship during that time, and that it ended before it became toxic because we know as with countless numbers of us, lockdown was tough for Z.

#tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

Okay so I’m seeing a lot of talk on here and Twitter about them maybe posting a later gram from their vacay. I wanna believe but been burnt too many times at this point 😭

Listen, I'm a graduate of the Tomdaya clown university. This is my GRWM every morning:

#tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

Omgg this is the type of people in this fandom that is unbearable. There's no correlation between talking about the breakup and being an anti

It's like everything is black or white with them and they can't even be critical about anything. We can't talk about anything if it's not extremely positive. I bet anon is new because for people like me who have been there for a while and witnessed everything live, It's not an issue to talk about the past. We know damn well they're happy now and it's the best thing, but it doesn't mean we can have questions and discussions about what they went through to end up here now. We're all here to talk about celeb gossip, the good and the bad, There's no need to be pressed about it 😴(and I really don't understand the fuss about this blog because I don't even see you posts disrespectful asks or asks questioning their relationship in a negative way)

Hi anon! Like you said, we're literally all here for the celeb gossip, good or bad. I understand some people may just not like reading about the time period around the break up and that's perfectly fine. A lot of us are open to discussion though, so I don't think it's at all helpful to paint anyone who may like to (respectfully) discuss things which you don't like or agree with as an anti. (But that's a whole other can of worms, because it seems like the term anti has been diluted so much at this point that 99% of the TZ blogs out there would fall under that category ztdhztdztdzd)

#ask #tomdaya

[tomdayaconfessions]

Since their rebounds were brought up, a lot of (maybe rumors) were created when Daya was with Jacob, about how he treats her. How he’s rude sometimes, always on his phone, I think one sighting in a restaurant was about him kind of shouting at her and many more. Now I don’t know if it’s true, but she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that and we know Tom treats her like the queen she is 💜👑

(Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but a lot of the tea was just rumours (like the restaurant, the credit card thing etc). I think there is that one video of them on the subway but again we don't know what was going on other than it seems JE is telling Z that someones recording them whilst she's trying to show him something on her phone/camera. Like on the surface that seems like a normal kind of reaction? JE also seems to have a bit of a history of jumping (I use this word very broadly) from relationship to relationship and I think there's some tea from his relationship with Joey King, so who knows, the rumours/tea maybe true, maybe not. On Tom, from what we can see and what Z herself has said, she's excellent and he makes her the happiest.)

#tom holland #zendaya #tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

for someone who has been there since 2018, what was your reaction on july 2nd and your thoughts on the way they're handling their relationship right now ?

ive been following them since 2017 and i feel a bit nostalgic about the little community that we had back then because things were sooo funny since we rarely get fed, the slightest thing would cause so much discussion it was ridiculous but in a fun way do you know what i mean ?

my mutuals from back then grew out of their tomdaya phase and stopped being as invested after July 17th, but on july 2nd i saw most of them come back from the dead and losing their minds it was so comforting to watch lmaooo then they dipped again, but i stayed 😅 the new people who jumped on the ship only after nwh don't realize how absolutely crazy it is to see them act like that right now. who would've thought

Hi anon! I honestly can’t remember what it was back in 2018 that got me interested, maybe it was seeing the LSB clip being reposted somewhere, but I’ve been following them as a couple ever since albeit I kind of dipped after September 2019. That July 17th was straight up traumatic, waking up to those pictures was like oh my gaaaahhhdd - I’m sure you’d agree 😅 [I'm not too proud to admit them two *almost* gaslight me into questioning all of 1.0...]

So Yh, I dipped for a while, only randomly checked in to see what these two were up to but like the social media silence was so telling. You best believe when 2nd July 2021 came around, literally the first thing I did was come was back to this hellsite and I’ve been back ever since mostly lurking. I can deffo relate to the nostalgia but similarly there is a bit of that still here - like I know we're in a bit of a drought at the moment (which is nothing like 1.0 droughts), but the chaos on the timeline when things do happen is still pretty entertaining (the Oakland/SF trip being the most recent). Yeah I do miss some of the old moots but I guess this is the cyclical nature of fandom. The present community though I've got to say are absolutely hilarious and it is very much vibes which I appreciate now I'm a bit older.

On the last point, it still baffles me the way they move these days because I still find myself looking at things through the 1.0 lenses. Like a simple hand hold, or the 'I text my boyfriend', I'm just gobsmacked every time I see it - like 1.0 would never. At the same time, (getting all parasocial here) just really happy for these two people and that there is a 2.0. The outing may have been forced on them but they're reestablishing their boundaries and what they're comfortable with, and most importantly they're moving as a unit.

#ask #tomdaya

[tomdayaconfessions]

It's some type of antis therapy group?why all ask about break up,it's was almost 3 years ago. Nothing else to discuss?lol

Hi anon, like mentioned in the previous ask, it’s a point in their history and there’s a lot of new TZ fans who have genuine interest or questions from that time. On the flip side, for those who have been here longer, it’s interesting because to some respect it came out of left field and was a bit unexpected. Where we have little bits of information here and there, some people like to try and connect the dots with their own assumptions and theories because at the end of the day none of us know what went down.

So personally I don’t see the correlation between people sharing what they think happened during a certain point in time and them being an anti? It’s a part of their history so there’s always going to be discourse. Now why all the asks about the break up, well someone mentioned it first which opens up the discussion etc. If the break up is a topic you’re not interested in then by all means send in an ask on another topic - I’d be happy to post as long as we stick to being respectful.

#Tom holland #zendaya #tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

I do think regarding the Jacob and z pap pics. That Tom must have done or said something that really pissed her off because she completely ignored him on ig for like 7 months when he did like some pics of hers and even tagged her in a throwback from homecoming which she ignored. In her mind she was probably like i didn’t react like this with those Olivia pics. Which were much sooner after the break up than Jacob and z.

(Z’s not one to unfollow so they’re social media habits back then were definitely telling. I’m reminded of that quote from Tom on how he’s (I’m paraphrasing) always first to apologise or try to clear the air. I think most fans would agree with you, because their interactions where pretty much dead until the Emmy nom and we all know what happened after that…)

#tom holland #zendaya #tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

I've yet to see any asks that was being negative towards their relationship in any way lol, we're just discussing things as they are. The breakup is part of their history so it's normal people will discuss it one way or another

Idk what anon is talking about lol

Thanks anon. There is deffo a lot of chatter around the break up which as you said is part of the history and everyone literally has their own view or theory over what went down.

I would want everyone to feel comfortable to engage as long as they’re not being rude or disrespectful about others which includes some of the anti style asks other blogs get re: wishing they’d break up etc. We’re not here for that.

Also from being around the fandom I get the feel that there are a lot of people out there that have genuine questions or would want to share their thoughts but maybe scared they’d come across as an anti when they aren’t? (This isn’t a dig at other blogs as I know there’s been a steady influx of anti’s who just send abusive messages on anon so they don’t have the luxury of being able to give anons the benefit of the doubt.)

#Ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

hmmm it's not because z didn't unfollow anyone that she wasn't mad. she was def hurt (you don't have your whole family at your house while you stay in pajamas 24/7 if you're doing great). it's just that tom is impulsive and doesn't think that much about his social media moves and how it might look from an outsider pov (a -free- spirit through and through 😅)

and it might not only be the fact that they went public, but more the fact that they were still going strong when maybe he thought that it was only a summer fling. the pictures made the fact that she moved on even more real

(Yup, I’m vibing with you on this. I never actually thought about it as per your last paragraph but can honestly see it - like they both knew the other was on the inevitable rebound, but seeing the rebound still going on after months 🤔)

#tom holland #zendaya #tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

his reaction to the Feb2020 pictures doesn't necessarily mean that he actively wanted to go public and asked her to do that imo. he probably wasn't as "radical" as z, but it's not like he wasn't grown enough to make his own decisions. basically, she had the idea first, convinced him it was the best way to navigate their earlier professional - personal life, and that's what they decided. z isn't the one forcing him holding him hostage or something

annnnd at the same time, it doesn't mean he wasn't hurt, which is valid from his pov. because all the things they never dared to do in public because of their agreement (which was extremely frustrating knowing now how touchy feely their are in reality), he was seeing that all over his social media feed. it's not always easy to know your ex has moved on, but actually seeing it in 4K... and maybe he had the feeling that the hiding made sense for them but maybe it didn't meant sense for Z and jacob because their relationship was THAT deep (it wasn't) they thought the pros of being public counterbalanced the cons. and maybe in that sense he felt like their relationship wasn't as important as he thought it was.

the two theories aren't mutually exclusive to me, he didn't want to go public but it still hurt to see her doing it with someone else

(Thanks anon, I think you’ve put your points more succinctly than I did mine haha. The end was where I was trying to get to - I feel like they where both hurt by the respective pictures dropping and re: Tom, I don’t think he was angry because he wanted to go public but more so the hurt of seeing that with someone else, particularly as we know he literally wears his heart on his sleeve. And yes, these two are such cling-ons with each other, I have no idea how they denied themselves all the Tetris style handholding for literal years…)

#tom holland #zendaya #tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

Ain't no way an anti didn't create this blog lol

You made me giggle anon! Rest assured, I adore them both equally and have been on this crazy ride with you all since like 2018. As long as people are being respectful, just thought it maybe fun to have a little corner in this fandom where we can talk about things a bit more openly like our unpopular opinions or any thoughts or theories people want to share about TZ or the fandom.

It seems from asks so far, there’s still a fair bit of interest in the 2019 breakup which has inevitably generated asks around if it ever happened again. Not sure if it’s because there’s so many new people in the fandom (post Jul-21) or it’s genuinely just a point of interest because of the limited information we have which has just left everyone to draw their own conclusions. Again, as long as people are respectful then happy to hear and share different POVs on this fandom. ✌️

#tom holland #zendaya #tomdaya #ask

[tomdayaconfessions]

tom is punching up if we talk about physical appearance but for the rest, we don't actually know their personality irl

the vibes i get from them is that yes, she's prettier than him (she's more gorgeous than most people let's be honest) but they seem like great partners and from what we've seen, tom is treating her right. she's lucky and he's lucky, period, no need to constantly shade him

(Thanks for sharing anon - going forwards I won’t post any superficial asks around looks because as you say it just ends up shading one person or the other, genuine discourse is fine though. Ultimately everyone has their own personal preference so to each their own, but least we can all agree that TZ are lucky to have each other. They’re both conventionally attractive and from what we can see they seem to adore each other, don’t think there’s much else to say really.)

#tom holland #zendaya #tomdaya #ask