Für screenreader unter dem cut
leg deinen arm nochmal um mich,
lass mich nochmal deinen atem
spüren
auf meiner haut
und sag meinen namen
so sanft, so nervös,
so voller sorge,
als würde gleich der boden unter meinen
Füßen bersten und nur du weißt es.
fang mich, wenn er birst und halt mich
fest so fest, das in mir alles platzt
und nur die hülle bleibt,
für dich zum füllen, zum behalten,
denn mehr will ich nicht als endlich endlich
endlich dir gehören so ganz und gar
vollkommen
der deine.
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Der ADAC war heute da und trotzdem.
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sunrise
standing by the darkness looming behind the open french doors,
balcony a no man’s land shrouded in gossamer,
he draws on his cigarette, the ember a ship passing in the night.
smoke gathers between his lips, spills in a lazy trail up and away.
on the bed, by the far wall, the most gorgeous man in the world looks
at him, sheets shying away from his long legs, the strength of his stomach.
his chest is still wet with sweat, hair a dark thing on the pillows,
eyes clear and sharp as always, seeing all he wants to hide from view.
he flicks the half smoked cigarette over the railing, watches it bounce
sparks on the tiles below, a miniature explosion his heart mimics when he
turns around and finds himself drawn in by those eyes.
the sheets rasp against his naked body when he crawls over them like a dog
back to the side of its master, back to bending his back for both their
pleasure, back to the throes, back to the gasps and grunts and moans of two
animals caught in the skin of men, caught in the traps of their own making.
caught in each others’ sharp sharp teeth.
hey, he says later, another cigarette between his teeth, darkness beyond less
dark and sheets a mess on the floor.
the pillows are swallowed by both their hair, tangled, fused, one and the same.
the most gorgeous man in the world looks at him and waits for more.
hey, wanna run away together, he asks, grinning, making it half a joke while his
heart threatens to choke him, veiny hands on his throat.
the most gorgeous man in the world blinks his dark eyes, twitches his big hands
against the sheets and touches his hip with two fingers.
the cigarette burns a hole in the carpet and he shatters like a cup against
the two points of heat on his skin, spills viscera and blood and secrets,
so many secrets, more secrets than cells inside of him,
washing them both in filthy, murky red, as the horizon lights itself on fire.
i can’t, says the most gorgeous man in the world, teeth perfect rows of pearls
that he would dive to the deepest depth for, drown himself for.
i know, he answers, laughing the pain into submission, into a corner, pointing
fingers at himself and laughing at the clown, tripping over his own shoes.
outside the sky bursts into colour in a breath-taking display no one
sees - the whole world avoiding the sight for a split second, so that everything
has changed once they look again. everything has changed and it all stays the same: smoke and darkness for them and the rest for the others.
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sunrise
standing by the darkness looming behind the open french doors,
balcony a no man’s land shrouded in gossamer,
he draws on his cigarette, the ember a ship passing in the night.
smoke gathers between his lips, spills in a lazy trail up and away.
on the bed, by the far wall, the most gorgeous man in the world looks
at him, sheets shying away from his long legs, the strength of his stomach.
his chest is still wet with sweat, hair a dark thing on the pillows,
eyes clear and sharp as always, seeing all he wants to hide from view.
he flicks the half smoked cigarette over the railing, watches it bounce
sparks on the tiles below, a miniature explosion his heart mimics when he
turns around and finds himself drawn in by those eyes.
the sheets rasp against his naked body when he crawls over them like a dog
back to the side of its master, back to bending his back for both their
pleasure, back to the throes, back to the gasps and grunts and moans of two
animals caught in the skin of men, caught in the traps of their own making.
caught in each others’ sharp sharp teeth.
hey, he says later, another cigarette between his teeth, darkness beyond less
dark and sheets a mess on the floor.
the pillows are swallowed by both their hair, tangled, fused, one and the same.
the most gorgeous man in the world looks at him and waits for more.
hey, wanna run away together, he asks, grinning, making it half a joke while his
heart threatens to choke him, veiny hands on his throat.
the most gorgeous man in the world blinks his dark eyes, twitches his big hands
against the sheets and touches his hip with two fingers.
the cigarette burns a hole in the carpet and he shatters like a cup against
the two points of heat on his skin, spills viscera and blood and secrets,
so many secrets, more secrets than cells inside of him,
washing them both in filthy, murky red, as the horizon lights itself on fire.
i can’t, says the most gorgeous man in the world, teeth perfect rows of pearls
that he would dive to the deepest depth for, drown himself for.
i know, he answers, laughing the pain into submission, into a corner, pointing
fingers at himself and laughing at the clown, tripping over his own shoes.
outside the sky bursts into colour in a breath-taking display no one
sees - the whole world avoiding the sight for a split second, so that everything
has changed once they look again. everything has changed and it all stays the same: smoke and darkness for them and the rest for the others.
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[photo ID: zwei screenshots einer notes app; weiße schrift auf dunklem hintergrund. der erste screenshot zeigt den titel eines gedichts, der zweite das gedicht selber. ein transkript folgt unter dem cut.
Endzeitstimmung und Dosenbier
Wir stehen mit zwei Meter
Abstand in der einfahrt und du
Zuckst die Schultern.
Sagst dir geht’s ganz gut.
Bisschen Langeweile.
Ich nicke, mein Bier ist warm und
Zu hopfig, und mir geht’s richtig
Dreckig.
Dein arm um meine Schultern
Wäre schon willkommen und
Bisschen Leute hier, was grillen.
Aber ich sage nur Langeweile, ja.
Kein Netflix, sonst auch eher nichts.
Ich lese viel. Du nickst.
Hast mit Fensterbankgärtnern angefangen.
Hab ich auf insta gesehen, aber ich
schweige.
Vielleicht geht’s im Sommer schon wieder.
Dann gehen wir schwimmen.
Ich nicke nur.
/end ID]
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[id: Screenshot of a notes app, white text on dark background; the text reads:
It is all snow in the end.
Tears and sweat are water, are oceans,
And oceans birth clouds
And clouds are snow.
Rain sometimes, but winter seems endless
Here, so snow.
If you fill the ocean with blood,
Would the snow be red from the first
Flake?
Would we need more carnage to make
It red by day and black by night?
Would we need tears to wash it clean?
Two owls call, there is a bear in the woods,
And the fire has settled into the ash, glowing.
The snow is red with it, alive with it.
Alive, alive, alive.
Sweat and tears and blood, an ocean.
The waves break on the shore and it snows. /End id]
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