you-cant-fuck-megaman

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

holy shit tumblr is becoming genuinely unusable. maybe it's time to look at one of those other newfangled social sites.

i have tried to write three posts and each time there's been an error. i have tried to post this particular post twice. third time's the charm???

#meta #inapplicable

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

What's your opinion on Megaman?

#sgt-shivers #ask #meta #inapplicable

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

Honestly I feel like an even more valid excuse for not being able to fuck some of the robots are they either programmed to be children (*cough* mega man and roll) or look like children (ice, Heat, maybe bright idk) and you’d be called a pedo

Taking off the character voice and putting on the real talk voice for a bit: I don't really want to joke about that, sorry. This is a shitpost blog. I make knob gags. Knob gags are funny. Pedophilia is serious shit.

I'm sure there are skilled and professional writers that could make funny jokes about pedophilia. But I'm a hobbyist, and handling sensitive matters carelessly isn't a great idea. So I think it'd be more responsible of me to simply not touch that territory.

I don't know what I'm going to do if/once I hit the Battle Network subseries, but that's for another day.

#ask #anti-socialexperiment #real talk #meta

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

okay, i'm gonna be real. nitro man puts me in a bit of a precarious situation here.

as a stunt man and, more relevantly, a thrillseeker, nitro man is perhaps the most likely out of the entire cast of classic megaman to be fuckable simply by virtue of wanting to be given a ride. HOWEVER this is also simultaneously the reason why he should NOT be fucked in the first place.

as a thrillseeker, he's not content with normalcy. as time goes on, the established becomes droll and it's the nature to escalate. longer jumps, higher jumps, lower ramps, etc. anything anyone does with him will eventually become boring. passé. fucking? great at first. then next week he becomes bored. then he wants to use your body as a ramp. then he wants you to come along with him while you both launch through a hoop that's on fire and doing 69 at the same time with an extra 4 bananas in the tailpipe so it becomes a 73.

don't do that. any relationship where you have to escalate for your partner's satisfaction is not a relationship where you should be in. just the fact that someone is willing to do something intimate with you should in and of itself be special. explore what you can do, but know what you can't do, and don't compromise on what you won't do. never push past areas you're comfortable with, even for a partner's entertainment.

wow, that was surprisingly serious. alternative take: don't fuck a motorbike ezgg

#megaman #mega man #mm10 #nitro man #nitroman

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

What if you can?

you can't

#ask #inapplicable #megaman #mega man #nuclearwater5000

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

#megaman #mega man #sheep man #sheepman #mm10

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

discount franco-brit

eat a feck, yank

#inapplicable

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

Yay you're back!! Since October of last year your blog has been my #1 way to prime my friend for the Megaman franchise.

i'm always happy to see more people get introduced to megaman, and if my shitposts are a gateway for that then that only gives me more motivation to share more

there's a lot to talk about with the megaman story/timeline/franchise, and i've wondered if it'd be good to go into detail about 'em. a cursory youtube search reveals that there's already a couple megaman youtubers that've already been covering the 𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓹 𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓮 in-depth, though, so i've shied away from it in favor of blatant shitposting.

not that i'm looking for an audience (reminder that this blog is written primarily for the entertainment of exactly three people), but i'd wondered if it'd be necessary to have another source on top of the existing sources. but if folks are interested, well, i certainly wouldn't mind more rambling!

#umm-bra #ask #megaman #mega man #inapplicable #meta

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

THIS BLOG IS BACK

yeah, i just forgot my password and got too lazy to dig it up for the better part of

three months? four?

i could say that IRL's been busy (which it has) or that my job's been picking up (which it has), but writing shitposts doesn't take that long so i really have nobody but myself to blame

oops!

#commanderclausy #ask #inapplicable

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

top 5 reasons you can’t fuck toad man- number one

number 2 through 5: that does not mean "a frog that fucks"

#megaman #toad man #toadman #mega man #mm4 #a-bit-blue #ask

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

So your argument as to why you couldn’t fuck Chill Man was that he uses Twitter. Does he still use Twitter, or did he move to Bluesky now that Twitter is X?

realistically speaking, he'd probably use whatever the trendy social media service of choice at the time is.

at the risk of dissecting the joke and killing the frog, the impetus behind that punchline was because

(sauce)

chill man is a photoblogger and a social activist combined. he takes pictures and then posts them on the internet to spread awareness of things happening around the world. bit of an e-boy, that one. he'd probably be a bit of a trendchaser, chasing viral challenges on whatever app is the current buzz for maximum exposure.

twitter just was what popped on my mind at the time due to someone else's question from earlier. so, you could replace it with reddit or 9gag or whichever social media site of choice you think is the lamest.

but i'll admit i'd probably leave the theoretical alternative punchline of choice in the hands of the reader. i'm an old man and not entirely aware of what the kids nowadays use for social engagement. this is actually the first i've heard of bluesky, i was under the impression mastodon was the big twitter replacement.

#megaman #mega man #chill man #chilledman #mm10 #kunaiman #ask #worldbuilding #meta

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

Okay so is the ‘fuck’ in ‘unfuckable’ about conventional human sex or generally deriving pleasure off of someone from physical touch. Cause I dunno about you buuut I think most of them can have their wires rearranged for some very positive effects yk yk

well

this isn't the strangest basis for a wily scheme to reprogram 8 robots and take over the world

but it's pretty high up there

#megaman #dr. wily #wily #captain-bottles #ask #inapplicable

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

okay so maybe we the viewers of this blog, myself included, can't fuck the robot masters (not that I'd want to anyway, I'm ace and sex-repulsed) but I am morbidly curious, could the robot masters fuck each other

i'm going to be real i've already got my hands full trying to keep one (1) sentient thinking species from trying to fuck the robots and some of those special weapons may logically be my weakness

so

i'm just going to put out a broad generalization and say that the robot masters can do whatever they damn well please, with potential retraction pending depending on if some clever dick decides to dick about cleverly

i've got my fucking eyes on some of y'all. my stop sign is at the ready. you are not immune to propaganda and my indoctrination tool of choice is a red octagon.

#megaman #inapplicable #ask #kung-fu-cutbug

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

You cannot fuck Tiesel Bonne. He does not know what sex is.

every day i wake up i thank bob capcom, george capcom, james videogames, and mr. clean for the foresight to look at their proposed family surname and add an extra n to it

#megaman legends #rockman dash #tiesel bonne #mega man legends #tiesel #ask #avocadosfromfigaro

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

finally remembered my password

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

you actually can fuck tundra man though. most peggable robot ive ever seen. there are no counterarguments.

there may not be counterarguments, but there is counterevidence to state the contrary: tundra man already performs for bears on the regular.

#tundra man #tundraman #megaman #rockman #mega man #smorzinc #ask

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

Are You Anti-Robophilia?

i'm anti that word

robo- is a czech prefix! -philia is a greek suffix! you can't just mish-mash languages into whatever protologism suits your fuckery of choice! the etymologically-correct paraphilia would be mechanophilia if you want to bang machines, since it's derived from the greek mekhane and thus would fit with the greek suffix!!! ARGH GRGH RARGH FUCK PENIS DICK

i fucking hate macaronic language. i HATE it!!! asexual is similarly derived from the greek a- (without) and latin -sexus (banana) and i've been pissed off ever since. yeah there's something else i can fucking do without, lemme FUCKING tell you!

you goddamn ancient scholars more interested in fucking each other than giving us a proper goddamn lexicon! now we have to fucking MAKE UP words! what am i supposed to be, the next shakespeare? i'm a fucking boinkaloink riggamadoo now, FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

#inapplicable #bio metal404 #ask