acowardinmordor

[acowardinmordor]

An amendment: my aromantic self was counting any fic where Stobin know each other as poly. I’m correct by the way, but it did skew my assessment from the definition many associate.

“The actual reason people write so much poly fic with Steve is because his name is SHair-ington”

-my brain, two minutes ago, suddenly screaming at me, apropos of fuckin nothin

[acowardinmordor]

“The actual reason people write so much poly fic with Steve is because his name is SHair-ington”

-my brain, two minutes ago, suddenly screaming at me, apropos of fuckin nothin

#my life #Ironically: #the (weak) edible wore off an hour ago

[acowardinmordor]

ph, Patricia van de Camp & Marc Heesterbeek, - collaboration

Heavenly Body Series

#for reasons relevant to this blog

[acowardinmordor]

This is about the way that Eddie would hear, constantly, about how gay men do that, and he's always thought that was bs, and then he spends a year not sure if did exactly that. About the way that he'd probably not even look for another hookup. About how he'd want to apologize, but how does a person even start. And. About how he'd feel sick and scared when the kids eventually mention Steve Harrington, and how Steve always protects them.

Post S2, at some random party, Steve and Eddie hook up, not full naked sex, but undeniably gay activity. And they’re teenagers and they were both a little intoxicated, so they didn’t stop for a conversation on the topic. In the aftermath, Eddie isn’t sure if Steve actually started it, or if Eddie was too turned on by his crush, and imagined it.

Aftermath is the right word. This is a Steve who hasn’t met Robin yet. He’s grown since S1, but in the morning, seeing a hickey on his neck from a guy, he spirals in a bad way. Tries to convince himself he didn’t want it, then spirals harder because he absolutely did want it.

Eddie likes to pretend he’s a cynic, but he’s a romantic and an optimist, and when he approaches Steve after school the next week - carefully, hidden, no one knows they’re talking at all because Eddie knows this is a dangerous place to be like them - he doesn’t get as far as asking if Steve maybe wants to come hang out. Steve is still spiraling, and Eddie is undeniable proof that he should be spiraling.

Steve says a lot of stuff in the next few minutes. All of it is true and all of it’s a lie. There’s one thing that sticks with Eddie and festers. Steve says that he didn’t want it, didn’t want Eddie to kiss him, to touch him. Says he didn’t want to touch Eddie but he had to. Sure, a lot of that is the same as every other closeted guy would say. The part that makes it stick in Eddie’s gut, churning and painful, is that no matter how hard he tries, Eddie can’t be sure if Steve was leaning in, or if he was imagining what he wanted to see

[acowardinmordor]

Post S2, at some random party, Steve and Eddie hook up, not full naked sex, but undeniably gay activity. And they’re teenagers and they were both a little intoxicated, so they didn’t stop for a conversation on the topic. In the aftermath, Eddie isn’t sure if Steve actually started it, or if Eddie was too turned on by his crush, and imagined it.

Aftermath is the right word. This is a Steve who hasn’t met Robin yet. He’s grown since S1, but in the morning, seeing a hickey on his neck from a guy, he spirals in a bad way. Tries to convince himself he didn’t want it, then spirals harder because he absolutely did want it.

Eddie likes to pretend he’s a cynic, but he’s a romantic and an optimist, and when he approaches Steve after school the next week - carefully, hidden, no one knows they’re talking at all because Eddie knows this is a dangerous place to be like them - he doesn’t get as far as asking if Steve maybe wants to come hang out. Steve is still spiraling, and Eddie is undeniable proof that he should be spiraling.

Steve says a lot of stuff in the next few minutes. All of it is true and all of it’s a lie. There’s one thing that sticks with Eddie and festers. Steve says that he didn’t want it, didn’t want Eddie to kiss him, to touch him. Says he didn’t want to touch Eddie but he had to. Sure, a lot of that is the same as every other closeted guy would say. The part that makes it stick in Eddie’s gut, churning and painful, is that no matter how hard he tries, Eddie can’t be sure if Steve was leaning in, or if he was imagining what he wanted to see

#steddie angst #meanwhile Steve slowly comes to grips with it #thanks to Robin #who knows he hooked up with Eddie #but doesn’t know about the conversation after #Steve isn’t hiding it from her #he doesn’t know how much it fucked Eddie up

[acowardinmordor]

Custom suffering for Steve time:

Knocked a girl up, gets told by his parents she got rid of it, he finds out later that his parents told her to gtfo and never speak to Steve again. So, post High school at some point, he finds out that the little bit of guilt he's carried around for messing up the condom and getting her pregnant turns into a lot a bit of guilt because he wasn't there for her, and he missed years of his kid's life.

#angst #steve harrington #I'd argue for this being a 'they were both 14/15 and stupid' #type situration #and if you want to go with sudden baby acquisition #don't kill off the girl #just let her hit her breaking point #her family won't help anymore #and she figures she'll give the deadbeat dad a chance to step up #before she puts the kid up for adoption #and yes #it extra fucks him up #if she's assumed he's a piece of shit this whole time

[acowardinmordor]

Around lunch today I thought I’d be home early and could write.

It’s 8 hours later, and I’m headed home.

Fucking capitalism

#if it was just oversight #I’d type on my phone #but if I CAN help the team #so we all go home sooner #then I do

[acowardinmordor]

Get with the sharing.

Round Two

Palm Oil has been forbidden. Details on that below.

Small context: Since this website is pretty American/Western, the foods are all things that are relatively common or popular for that group. That way stuff that isn't culturally present doesn't skew things.

As before: This is to eliminate the food from human diets, not Thanos-snapping the thing out of the universe.

Palm Oil has been eliminated. This is unsurprising since many don't seem to know what it is. It's a semi solid oil at room temp which means its in approximately 70% of makeup, and in a bazillion prepackaged foods. Yes, there are some replacements, but there is a reason that this semi solid, neutral tasting high temp oil is so freaking common.

Lots of packaged bread, almost every thing of instant noodles, plus: margarine, chocolate, ice cream, crackers, cookies, pizza dough, and a bunch of other things. It's also a great way to fry things. Think you've never had it? you probably have. Here's other names it goes by on labels:

Vegetable Oil, Vegetable Fat, Palm Kernel, Palm Kernel Oil, Palm Fruit Oil, Palmate, Palmitate, Palmolein, Glyceryl, Stearate, Stearic Acid, Elaeis Guineensis, Palmitic Acid, Palm Stearine, Palmitoyl Oxostearamide, Palmitoyl Tetrapeptide-3, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Kernelate, Sodium Palm Kernelate, Sodium Lauryl Lactylate/Sulphate, Hyrated Palm Glycerides, Etyl Palmitate, Octyl Palmitate, Palmityl Alcohol

However! As many, many people pointed out, Palm oil farming drives deforestation. It's done in large monocultures and, while it can be done sustainably, most of what gets used isn't.

#food poll

[acowardinmordor]

I'm not going to explain any of the thought behind it yet, just want your answer on what you want to lose first. I'll post a new poll without the loser until only One Remains.

(note: eliminate means that humans don't include them in our diets, not that we suddenly pluck it from existence)

And do the sharing thing please. This isn't scientific or anything close to it, just my own curiosity, but still, I want to know what we keep the longest, bc I have a guess.

[acowardinmordor]

There should be a fanfic writing game called the showrunners challenge where someone writes a story and partway through someone else can play things like "actor leaves after 4000 more words" or "topic now too politically sensitive due to unforeseen world events" or "lost rights to that reference"

#I love this in theory #but its basically my day job #so id be good at it #but #ughhhhh #also should include: #'producer thinks we need a love triangle' #C Suite demands a twist be added #'the competing show just did that: you need a new conclusion'

[acowardinmordor]

I miss free time.

[acowardinmordor]

Me, reading this just now: 'oh heck, this is right up my alley, I almost feel like I wrote i--- oh.'

the cruel urge to write a time loop au where steve finally realizes that the only way to defeat vecna, whilst keeping eddie alive, is to completely rewrite the timeline and he has to see it playing out differently, invisible and unmoving, forced to watch as he dies instead of barb.

but it works. vecna is dead and eddie is alive... but he keeps looking to the side, expecting someone to be there. he doesn't know why he dreams of a boy in a yellow sweater. he doesn't know why he's grieving. he can't remember and, when he asks el to make sure he's not cursed, she offers him reassurances.

bc eddie isn't cursed. he's dreaming, that's all. the boy in the yellow sweater doesn't exist.

not anymore.

#also I had a thought #bc Im reading the last steve harrington #Steve starts seeing blips of something else when he fades #these aren't the kids he saved #Eddie never got that scar #Robin shouldn't know that story about him #they arent the ones that he saved #but they are his people #and as time passes and he watches less of the world he helped #and sees more of a world where Steve saved them at the end #died in the final fight #and eventually the grief of that world #where they knew him and loved him and lost him #grows strong enough to pull him close enough he can see them #then close enough that El notices #and Steve doesn't want to lose sight of the ones he gave up everything for #but he's watching these mirrors of his people suffering #so when El comes looking #Steve lets himself be found #and steps into a world where he wasn't just dead #he was *mourned*

[acowardinmordor]

I was writing a longer version in the uber, but my phone ate it, so instead:

Post-Canon-Version-S4, things get bad, and before they even get to a final fight, Steve dies protecting Robin, and it breaks her. Something, something, Robin wakes up in 1983. Spends a day chasing Steve around Hawkins trying to get him to listen, but this isnt her Steve yet. He doesn't listen, but she isnt going to abandon him. Catches up as he goes back into the Byers place. Follows him.

And he told her everything, but it wasn't enough to make her untouchable. She ends up getting pulled into the Upside Down right before the Demogorgon goes.

And the story is about Robin, who thinks she's lost Steve again, thinks she's gonna die as a weird gangly sophomore never to be found in the upside down. And it is about Steve, who does not know who the random girl was, but she followed him around all day, and said a whole bunch of things that she couldn't have known, but didn't say any of it in a way that someone else would understand, and she knew him, even though he didn't know her.

Nancy lost her best friend to the Upside Down, and in another timeline, her boyfriend tries to help her hold onto normalcy. Instead, Steve lost his soulmate-to-be, and they both saw Robin vanish.

It isn't easy, it isn't quick, but Robin knows how to communicate, and Steve doesn't understand why, but he knows she's alive, knows he absolutely needs her. They find a way.

#platonic stobin forever #it was better in the longer version #but can't be bothered to rewrite in full

[acowardinmordor]

Robin trying to trip Steve, trying to make it so he trips into Eddies arms, but all it does is show them how poor Eddies reaction times are

#Steve’s reactions are fast enough to save himself…. #sometimes #he didn’t brain himself on the counter #he did knock an entire case of beer off the counter #he didn’t break his wrist #he did pants his crush #he didn’t go through the sliding glass door #he did break through the screen #Eddie never once catches Steve during an intentional ploy #he does catch him - bridal style - when Steve legit falls off a ladder #Steve is heart eyed #until noticing that Eddie broke his arm doing it

[acowardinmordor]

I see that yall are enjoying this. I have no plot or story. Just a mood. Just Eddie staring out a rainy window despondent that this guy he likes so much isn't actually an option bc Eddie is too much for him.

And Steve completely oblivious to Eddie's internal conflict bc Steve has faced death and ripped monsters apart with his bare hands and been tortured, and yeah, he's not outwardly all dark and rough edges, but of the two of them?

Eddie is the one that's Too Sweet.

Hozier’s Too Sweet inspired Steddie where Eddie graduated on time, meets Steve a few years later after spending time on the road as a musician. Considers himself this hard ass bastard of a man and he’s not wrong but he still has a marshmallow core. Meets Steve who goes on early morning jogs and stopped smoking or drinking and is borderline vegetarian and after a bit of flirting over the course of a few days of whatever situation brought them together, comes the realization of who they are. And Eddie was already thinking this guy is way too clean cut kind pure sweet to be around Eddie because that’s not him.

Meanwhile Steve Harrington went through four and a half monster horror events, has weapons nearby all the time, has phone numbers to call that get him direct lines to military and alphabet soup officials, jogs because of the nightmares and ptsd, stopped smoking because of Robin, and stopped drinking because of headaches.

[acowardinmordor]

Forget unrequited love, you know what's really tragic? requited love but they're doomed by the narrative. It doesn't matter that they love each other, it doesn't matter how hard they love, they were doomed from the start.

#i love doomed love

[acowardinmordor]

Hozier’s Too Sweet inspired Steddie where Eddie graduated on time, meets Steve a few years later after spending time on the road as a musician. Considers himself this hard ass bastard of a man and he’s not wrong but he still has a marshmallow core. Meets Steve who goes on early morning jogs and stopped smoking or drinking and is borderline vegetarian and after a bit of flirting over the course of a few days of whatever situation brought them together, comes the realization of who they are. And Eddie was already thinking this guy is way too clean cut kind pure sweet to be around Eddie because that’s not him.

Meanwhile Steve Harrington went through four and a half monster horror events, has weapons nearby all the time, has phone numbers to call that get him direct lines to military and alphabet soup officials, jogs because of the nightmares and ptsd, stopped smoking because of Robin, and stopped drinking because of headaches.

#steddie #I enjoy the idea of them not meeting #until after Hawkins