adeptus-nonsense

[adeptus-nonsense]

Cybernetics & Magic

In a world where Cybernetic enhancements and magic are not a tale of fiction anymore this story takes us to a place where humans are widely regarded with fear, respect and a sense of awe.

For in the year of 9685 humankind are traveling among the stars and what could only be described as wild dreams have turned out to be true. In the vast array of galaxies spread in our universe countless species thrive and learnt what it meant to be a traveller. Civilisations thrived under strict regulations and if they were deemed a to big of a threat they were wiped out not by the intergalactic community but by themself. Atleast that’s what we were told.

Intergalactic politics are a complicated matter. deciphering languages, putting meaning in the noises spoken is no laughing matter. Simple miss communications have started wars devastating countless worlds in multiple galaxies to put it short. Species which ”talk” via hormones or what we would call telepathy exist, species who talk by gestures, body language subtle as a heartbeat exist in the vast universe. Species who thrived on death world as well as paradise worlds. But what sets them apart from eachother? the use of technology or lack of technology. Species who are fundamentally weaker relied on technology to thrive we see this in humans, choosing to alter their bodies via both biological and mechanical means, what we would call moraly questionable they deem neccesary. While on the other hand technological enhancements are looked down upon by the more biological fortunate.

part 1: the introduction. ( i have a severe case of writers block and i am fairly certain my sleep paralysis demon has evolved into shrek and i am very frightended please help)

#humans are space oddities #space stories

[adeptus-nonsense]

One time i was on a shroom trip in the forest and i saw lorax and he said the trees hunger for your knees.

i’m still haunted by those words

#shroooooms

[adeptus-nonsense]

just wanna add attention to this one

i feel like most human beings are like a jank line of code.

like someday we work amazingly well with no issues whatsoever.

but once that weekly updates comes in.

we’re all like that coconut j.peg from tf2

#humans are weird

[adeptus-nonsense]

writing prompt

Magic is real but so is cybernetic enhancements in space. Now i’m not talking about space magic like the force, or cyborgs like star wars, or robocop.

I’m talking Harry Potter combined with Cyberpunk. Magic is very real, but so is just getting chromed the hell out.

Just me?

#humans are space orcs #writing promt #cool stuff

[adeptus-nonsense]

The humans

Humans are a weird one to talk about. They are a predator specie that at one side want to hug, pet and domesticate every animal they see and have at the very least tamed most species in their home planet. While on the other side can be an absolute plauge to everything alive, they’ve hunted and exterminated yet, cared and fostered species of all sorts and shapes.

They live on what they call a paradise world that is in fact a death world. While they have made some terraforming efforts it isn’t to make the world more habitable for them but every other specie they live along with. Vasts forest’s and sea’s cover the majority of the planet.

Some would say they are a warmongering specie only leaving ash, debris and radiation behind them and they would be right. Humans are a master of violence yet they’re also masters of philosophy. Since the early days millenia ago when they barely knew what a planet was humans prospered in the art of thinking. Great humans like the human Aristotles who’se arts are revered to this age are very interesting.

I know the stories of humans being all sides of extremes and each of their philosophy being different. Truly remarkable how a specie that seems so bent on destroying itself is capable of such beautiful acts of poetry.

#humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities

[adeptus-nonsense]

Year 4560. Contact war.

current year 4578. Interview of klokian heavy mechanized frontline support unit 681th divison.

specie: kloakian. Name: Rak’zaer crasl.

I remember the first war we had with the humans clear as day. I think the whole galaxy does. While war isn’t something new to us since the galactic council are well, what they say peace keepers but they work more to keep the status quo between all the species which is a constant struggle of making sure the more malevolant empires dont do anything rash. It’s a constant struggle between border frictions, rebellions and sometimes civil war. safe to say galactic scale politics are a complete mess and sometimes well…let’s just say things can get disturbing.

the first contact war is a great example and one we all learnt from dearly. When the graktukian empire discovered that one of their holy worlds as they call it had been colonized they were not happy at all. Standard procedure would be to contact this new specie and inform them that they had to leave the planet. What we were not aware off was that the empire had taken matter into their own hands and eradicated the settlement using a specialised deconstruction lance, breaking the humans and their buildings down into their molecular structure.

We later heard that they had captured some what they call heretics and after vigorious interrogation they found out that they were a specie called ”homo sapien” or ”human”. With the Grantukian empire being very influential both politically and militairily they somehow managed to get the council to overlook this breach of galactic law due to the humans ”defiling their holy world”. Still think it’s valorkian Dungbeetle behavior.

Especially when they decided to declare a fullblown war with the new ’human’ specie. A war that cost them a bit over sixty planets before a truce were declared. The humans only lost ten, six of which were captured planets they took from the Graktuka.

I was on about three planets the humans invaded, but the planets they were defending? There’s a reason why i have prosthetic leg arm, and three prosthetic organs.

Human space technology is rather primitive by our standards, they’re slow dont have shields and instead rely on thick hull instead off energy based kinetic impact shields. So how did they defeat Top of the line Graktukian destroyer fleets? You see Graktukian ships are not in anyway weak. But most of the ships fleets they they have are categorized as a striker fleet, fast manouverable, small and very dangerous if they got up close because they would drop EMP class K bombs. Their tactic was to get up close shields up and get into middle of the fleet, drop the bombs and move away to get into position to fire their lance weaponry from afar.

what they didn’t expect were that a human railguns completely ignored shields. While their hull wasn’t thin it did not hold up when what was essentially a volley of needle shaped projectiles going close to light speed pierced their hull nearly cutting their ships in half.

I’ve read their reports of that first engagement and the amount of energy generated by the human ships were that of a red giant sun. How they managed to get the literal power of the sun into their primitive ships without causing a black hole is still baffling to me. Their space technology is rather primitive but their energy generation is on a whole other level compared to ours. We guess that those ships have to be simple so that the Miniature star they have onboard dont implode on itself due to overuse. Given their reputation i would assume they learnt that the hard way. And the radiation their miniature star generators acted as a natural form of isolation for energy meaning they were EMP immune unless you managed to get directly in said ship.

When we found out that they essentially destroyed an entire Graktukian striker fleet, the Graktukian high nobolity realized that they needed help. I know there was some very foul play involved to get the council onboard with this but noone has any evidence. Mostly because they were declared heretics and died under a number of incidents. This went on and on. with some big victories for us destroying their main dreadnought fleets utilizing classified weapons managed to siege high value planets.

At this point we were not aware that humans were a predator specie, when we made it onto the planet via translocation beacons because planetfall by conventional means were deemed impossible due to the quite honestly unhealthy amount of surface to air weaponry, which put most fortress worlds seem like a agricultural world.

Even via translocation the initial forces were ambushed and only by sheer coincidence did they manage to set up a very rudimentary ground only when the kinetic shield generators were set up. Even then we lost over 20 000 militairy personell in just 3 weeks. We managed to overwhelm their defences by saturated orbital bombardment. Even then, they managed to ambush and raid numerous of our operation bases.

I deployed on the 4th week on the planet. In all my cycles of service i have never witnessed such chaos, supply lines cut off, ammunitions sabotagued. Once the shield generator broke down and the Shield gen mechanic tried to fix it but we had to request another one because the damn thing was sabotaged, never seen a mechanic that angry and baffled before.

about 8 years of us going back and forwards between occupying system and taking it back both sides were exhausted from war, in total about 300 billion casulties were documented.

It was a bloody war, and i am glad we managed to negotiate a cease fire. fragile as it was. I dont know how i feel about fighting for what effectively was a mistake that the humans had no way of knowing of. I’m just saying alot of things were off about that war and i’m not sure if we were on the rightside in that war. Maybe i’m just growing to be more critical of it all.

interview concluded

#humans are space orcs #long reads #this is a sequal to my humans are poets as well as warmonger post #hope you enjoy(ed) reading this :)

[adeptus-nonsense]

humans are poets as well as warmongers

Humans nowadays are well known far and wide in this galaxy. Mostly because they are some of the most chaotic, Stupid or bold "daredevils" around (think i used that word correctly).

While i do recall my first meeting with the humans very V E R Y badly since i served in the contact wars when the Graktuka a well known theocratic empire and very influential and politically strong contender in the galaxy stumbled across human colonies. They saw this as an hostile action since the planet they were settling were a holy world, That however is a story for another time.

Just know that the Graktuka empire shrunk by a significant margin to the point where they asked for militairy support. The humans had apparently developed a kind of magnetic accelerated firing plattform piercing through multiple layers of hull completely ignoring shields. Given that Graktuka empire relied on shields since most of the galactic arsenal is plasma based but their hull wasn't weak at all. Unconventional weapons had to be used to even dent their armour. Realising that the humans ships were massive but rather primitive and slow a ground based invasion was seen to be the optimal way off going.

If you were there you would know why humanity is as feared as they are. Masters of the what did they call it? Art of war? Yeah something like that. Fields of bombs buried into the ground detonating with a light step. Weapons dedicated to injure soldiers just enough to save them but not kill them in order to make the invader spend more resources on saving said soldier.

Even our bases of operations with shields were not safe, let me tell you if you think regular humans can cause damage to stuff by touching things dont even get near trained saboteurs with your stuff. They break things in a ways that seems like a simple malfunction and will work after a simple repair. When the shield generator first broke down i thought i could fix it in a matter of minutes, I still havent fixed it to this day and i have taken that thing apart thousands of times without finding the fault.

safe to say we lost that war and this is just one one planet. This was the short part. Just be glad that they pack bond with just about anything. Saw a human carry a cleaning unit and named it "Ronald the Roomba" And that is apparently our ships mascot. But this is things we all are aware of. Let me tell you of their poetic side

This is not something most of us see as common knowledge about humans, but their cultural aspect besides war is for a lack of better words beautiful. This thing they call music.

for all their wars they know how brutal they are and write songs about everything they did wrong and how they wished how they could change it. But that is not all, according to human Jakob music portrays emotions and ones feelings in a way that regular communication doesn't and you dont even need to understand the words to understand the emotion said piece is carrying. Which i know to be true, it's almost therapeutic

I think My log of it will be a better way to describe since it is honestly hard to describe [alltough be careful their music is quite loud for most prey species]

Year 4574 human sector 456854 log 1 of service leave. I am currently here on a passion project of mine. While the war has ended 6 years ago off now the tensions do still exist. Me and some comrades in service are taking some time off and going to what humans call a bar and apparently there is a human performing. I have no idea of how this is gonna go. All i know is humans are incredibly chaotic especially when intoxicated. Still i should probably record this for the culture scientists at social scientific hub.

Log 2

*murmur and loud talking in the background at the bar*

"for clarifications sake, my name is Groakslo, i am here with my two comrades Kyukla and Telosa. We are currently at the bar only to see that humans are actively drinking poison, i was quite shocked to hear this and asked if it isn't dangerous and the bartender said and i quote "nah we gucci" note to self find out what gucci is."

Log 3

"the humans were beginning to get rowdy and even slight outbursts of violence did occur but nothing the surprisingly loud bartender couldn't handle by a very concerning threat, followed by him saying that the band is preparing so settle down. Telosa and i looked at each other very confused but still awaited this "band"

Log 4

"the band arrived and started to set up weird things, long instruments with metal strings, of varying thickness, i asked the a human who were close by what they were and he said instruments. I asked what they were used for and he said to play music. I was getting nowhere and decided to see for myself what they were gonna do."

Log 5 (i decided to be quiet for this one)

"welcome folks and aliens of all sorts shapes and kinds! Thank you for coming to this bar for our first debut our name is The Lines In between, and for those who dont know human music, we'll slowly lean you into it with this first on and it is namned Memories beneath the stars" [3 hours of music recorded]

Final log (yes i know i could voice record but i want to write while the memory is fresh i'm bad with words)

I never knew that humans could make such songs. Telosa and Kyukla was particurlarly affected. The song was as the name suggest the memories we made sneaking out to watch the stars as younglings, reminiscing about the times when the stars were the most unknown, adventure filled and beautiful place to be in. But also about the connections they've lost over the years, the good times wiped away like a water slowly polishing a stone into sand. It was odd, beautiful calm, sad all at once.

The voices i heard when i fought humans in war can not even be compared to that of the singer in that band, what is most perplexing is that the once borderline rioting bar was completely quiet when the band was performing, almost as if in a trance completely captured by the singers voice, smooth, rough, raspy but controlled in a way i thought impossible. A song about 4 human minutes somehow managed to capture the full emotional spektrum of not only humans but multiple species in that bar.

Humans truly are an astounding species. Truly a species that are on all of the extremes, stupidity, ingenuity, violence, poetry and many many more. For now i'll sign off and hope you at the social cultural exchange fellas have a field day with the music file attached to this.

Grokslo, highly decorated former geothermical shield generator militairy specialist.

#humans are space oddities #humans are space australians #humans are space fae #humans are space orcs #this is my firsy real post and more to come :)

[adeptus-nonsense]

saving this for later, got a hell of an idea for this one

Call on Me

Everyone has a "meeting the Humans for the first time" story.

Everyone.

I don't know what it is about them, but they are memorable. They have this... ability to be so odd and yet so intriguing. I think it must have something to do with that planet they come from. I've seen it, but you'll never catch me down on its surface. Even if I could breathe their atmosphere, I'd worry my stuff would just burst into flame. I know it's stilly, but I'd still worry.

My Human story?? Mine is years old at this point, but it still sticks in my memories.

I was working in - I guess the humans would call it Border Patrol - a few years ago in a star system. It wasn't my home system, I just worked here. It was a pretty boring job. Ships would Flash or Flip in, we'd scan them, ask for their destination, they'd pay us their tariffs if they needed to, and they'd be on their way. Sometimes people would attempt to smuggle contraband in, though most of the time that didn't happen.

I can neither confirm nor deny that once or twice we accepted a little "bonus" to be somewhat... lax in our contraband scans. But, you know how it is. Everyone has bills to pay.

Anyway, This one time, we received report that a ship had Flipped in. By now, other members of the Coalition had bought the human made Flip drives, so it wasn't guaranteed that a ship that Flipped was human, but it was still more likely than not. As we completed our initial scan, we were able to verify it was indeed a Human ship, a freighter that was named Honeysuckle.

This ship was odd though. Most of the time when a ship would Flip or Flash in, we'd ping them, they'd reply and we'd scan. Then. if we needed to, we'd intercept.

This ship was completely silent.

No lights, no engines, no comms. We hit them with everything we could think of - even the emergency frequencies - and there was nothing. We called the main station in-system for advice, and they said for us to come up along side and if able, to board, and see what was wrong.

We approached, slowly and carefully; we knew all about how Human ships are well armed and... are quick to defend themselves. The whole time we approached, we were signaling on all frequencies asking if they needed help. Once we were close, we even tried flashing our maneuvering jets to see if they had a complete communications failure.

Nothing.

We circled around the ship once or twice, searching for damage and found nothing. This close we were able to do some deep scanning, and our ship reported that there were many life signs onboard, and that most of them were concentrated in a large hold towards the middle. The command deck and living spaces were empty. Almost as an afterthought, the ship reported that Honeysuckle was vibrating slightly.

I looked up from the report at the camera the ship AI uses. "What does that mean?"

"Unknown. Their reactor does not seem to be operating in overload, though it is currently outputting a high amount of energy."

I stared out at the image of the ship, floating in the midnight blue, wondering.

I clacked my wing covers together once, a gesture of resignation. "We've been ordered to board. Do you see any reason why we shouldn't?"

"We will have to connect directly. We do not have suits with maneuvering jets, and we do not have a docking umbilical. The humans have a Coalition standard airlock though, we are able to connect."

My antenna twitched. "Very well. Proceed to connect directly. I will lead the party onboard the ship."

A short while later, me and two others suited up and went to our airlock. We were just wearing regular suits; we didn't have any armored suits, and we carried no weapons. Remember, we were glorified inspectors. I watched out the small airlock window as the human ship grew closer. With a puff of reaction gas and a heavy thunk we were attached.

Immediately, we noticed the sound.

The human ship wasn't just vibrating, it was playing music. In the vacuum of space, we couldn't hear anything, but as soon as our ship made physical contact with theirs, the vibrations transferred to us, and our ship at once began to play a strange repetitive song. We hadn't turned on our translators, so we couldn't understand it, but it had a strong, regular beat and lots of repeating phrases. I looked at my colleagues and they gestured confusion.

"Ship, what's going on?"

"Unknown. Honeysuckle's vibrations are apparently in the form of a song."

"Is it on purpose?"

"Unknown."

"Is it safe?"

"...Unknown."

I buzzed my wings - like a sigh - and sealed my suit. I couldn't breath their atmosphere anyway, and I had a... feeling that something was wrong.

Our airlock cycled normally, but theirs would not obey our commands to open. However, being humans, theirs did have manual override levers and wheels, so after a few minutes of struggle, we were able to open theirs. Our ship took on the puff of their breathing gasses and safely vented them to space.

We stepped into their ship and before we could close the airlock from the inside, we started to hear the music louder. I snapped my translator on, and the song was translated.

Call on meeeeeeeeee/ Call on me Call on meeeeeeeeee/ Call on me Call on meeeeeeeeee/ Call on me

I listened for a few seconds, but that seemed to be it. I closed the airlock and opened the internal door.

The music was deafening.

Even through our suits, it was loud enough to make my wings vibrate. I can't imagine how loud it was in the ship with all their thick air.

Everything on board was vibrating.

We did a quick tour of the small ship and found nobody. We confirmed from the scans that the Command Deck was empty, the living quarters were empty, seemingly the whole ship was empty.

Finally, we made it down to the cargo hold that our ship had said was the location for everyone. It felt impossible, but the music here was even louder.

I looked back at my colleagues, and they were clearly frightened. This whole thing seemed so unusual and odd and neither of them had met humans before. I'll be honest, I was terrified. I only knew the stories.

Humans were incredible warriors.

Humans were banned from fully a dozen stations.

Human weapons would reduce most Coalition species to a pile of viscera.

Humans could take over the whole galaxy, but found that boring, so they didn't.

Humans make friends with anything.

Humans will take incredible risks, especially if it means helping one of their friends.

I had figured that half of the rumors were fakes put out by the humans, and half were fakes put out by their enemies. Which were which though, I had no idea.

I pressed the toggle to open the door.

My senses were assaulted. It's the only way I can describe it. Besides the music, there were flashing lights, some kind of vapor in the room and the people.

So many people.

More than I had ever thought would be on a ship this size were in the room.

All dancing.

They seemed to be completely lost in the music. I've never seen anything like it before or since. The three of us stood in the doorway, completely in shock.

Everyone danced around us, oblivious. I keyed my external speaker, and said "Hello?" but I don't think anyone heard me. I dialed the volume louder.

"Hello?"

Finally, one of the humans heard that and turned to me, and was so startled they screamed and jumped back. This startled us and we jumped back as well. The scream caused everything to come to a halt. The music stopped, the lights came up, and a voice called out over a speaker system, "It everyone all right? What's wrong?"

I stepped forward, their small binocular eyes pointing directly at me. "Um. Welcome to Coalition System 4589. You didn't respond to any hails or scans, so we were dispatched to check on you. Is..." I looked around again to the dozens of humans staring at me, most of them damp from their odd active cooling system. "Is everyone all right?"

A tall human with closely cropped hair seemingly materialized next to me. Even covered in their... cooling fluid, with her hair damp, she had an air of authority to her. "I'm Captain Lina Franklin. Everything is fine here, it's just-" She turned to look at the crew and turned back to me. "-It's 'Dance Party Wednesday'."

Even through the clear bubble of my suit, I must have made quite the expression. She was familiar enough with our body language - or her ship told her - and she seemed to fall over herself to explain things.

"We have some themed days in the week to help relieve boredom. We do the Dance Party once a month, and the last two times, we had to postpone it because of engine issues, or problems with the ship. This was our first one we were able to do and we must have... gotten carried away. We're fine, thanks for checking in on us. We'll get cleaned up and signal the Coalition Station our destination and purpose."

The spell broken, everyone started to shuffle towards us and make their way back to their stations. The lights in the room were bright and sterile, and the vapor slowly dissipated. Soon the only evidence of what was going on were the lights in the ceiling, now dark, and a rather large speaker system in one corner.

I turned to the captain. "Sorry for interrupting your celebration."

She smiled with her mouth closed. "It's all right. We'll get cleaned up and get on our way." She stopped at looked at the three of us. "It's too bad, really."

"What is?"

"That there are so few Coalition sapient species that breathe the same atmosphere as us. People rarely get to see what we're like. When we're on Coalition stations, we're always in our suits. You got to see us as we are."

We said our goodbyes, and headed back to our ship. As we disconnected, their ship came back to life, and they took off towards their destination, and I sat in my chair, wondering if I really was missing out by not being able to know the humans better.

[adeptus-nonsense]

you’re lm tumblr what did you expect, people wanna slurp you through a straw and i wanna throw you into the ceiling to see how long you’ll stick

"descended into madness" um actually i climbed here? yeah it was a pretty steep journey. yeah the air's pretty thin up here. i think im getting altitude sickness. pretty dizzy actually

[adeptus-nonsense]

hey OP What the hell is the game?????

Ran across a ‘humans are weird/space orcs/humans in space’ post the other day talking about how humans make up games if they’re stuck somewhere with nothing to do and it just got me thinking about that one game and how aliens would be so baffled

As in THE game, you all know the one (for those reading this I’m so sorry to make you lose ‘the game’ again, if it’s any consolation I have now lost ‘the game’ making this post myself) and just how baffling that is from a non human perspective can you imagine it-

this is for fun? And it’s not even a game game? It’s just saying you lost the game/mentioning ‘the game’ and humans will get irrationally annoyed/upset/angry about it like-

Brian: hey Lee, guess who just lost the game?

Lee: what gam- OH YOU ASSHOLE I HAD A STREAK OF FOUR YEARS GOING!!!

Every alien in the room: ??????

[adeptus-nonsense]

i feel like most human beings are like a jank line of code.

like someday we work amazingly well with no issues whatsoever.

but once that weekly updates comes in.

we’re all like that coconut j.peg from tf2

#i’m awake and unable to sleep help #is this a thing? #humans are weird

[adeptus-nonsense]

gonna make god regret making me today, wish me luck or i will use my insufferable personality against you.

violence

#vio

[adeptus-nonsense]

ever think vader met someone with a chokin kink and whenever vader force choked Said person they just went ”harder metal daddy”?

I know darth vader telekinetically choking out a subordinate is supposed to emphasize how he is a scary and cruel and powerful Villain but all I can think is. if I had the power to asphyxiate people with my mind I would spend all of my energy CONSTANTLY resisting the temptation to make people around me shut the fcuk up.

[adeptus-nonsense]

Shark dragons. Please consider this idea, I created a tumblr just to ask you this

MAN YOU SURE DID HUH…… OH BOY how about

bonus sharks…………

[adeptus-nonsense]

Anyone else here because

[adeptus-nonsense]

Feck Yeah, the Astra militarum needs more people

Reblog if you are bisexual, pansexual, or asexual, if you support bisexuals, pansexuals, and asexuals, or

There’s no third, funny option, just the first two because it’s good to just support people because they deserve support.

[adeptus-nonsense]

I have never seen a woman poop.

However i have seen a woman kick the shit out of a man before so watch your ass

#dumb shit #dumb brain things #violence