affiesque

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look at him..... the love of my life

#the spirealm #ruan nanzhu #so beautiful

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+ bonus:

The Spirealm 致命游戏 (2024) | Ep. 33

#the spirealm #this scene knocked the wind out of me for real #i mean there are literal stars in his eyes #i cannot

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#xin yunlai #look at him #sigh

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#zheng yecheng #what a beauty

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 奇蹟 | Kiseki: Dear to Me (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ai Di/Chen Yi (Kiseki: Dear to Me) Characters: Chen Yi (Kiseki: Dear to Me), Ai Di (Kiseki: Dear to Me) Additional Tags: flashbacks again!, söfte domesticity, twisting the knife because i can, i just like writing small mundane slices of life Summary:

Chen Yi and Ai Di continue to explore their early days together. A small coda to What If I Myself am a Terrible Thing?

#kiseki: dear to me #ellie you are killing it #and killing me #thank u times a thousand

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 奇蹟 | Kiseki: Dear to Me (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ai Di/Chen Yi (Kiseki: Dear to Me), Ai Di & Chen Yi (Kiseki: Dear to Me) Characters: Ai Di (Kiseki: Dear to Me), Chen Yi (Kiseki: Dear to Me), Original Characters Additional Tags: Drug Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Child Abandonment, it’s flashback time baybeeeeee, the fic i did not intend to write but that careened off the rails and left me for dead in a ditch Summary:

After prison, Ai Di grapples with being alone, and faces unpleasant memories.

(A spiritual successor to Matryoshka.)

‘Lovely weather,’ said the driver who picked him up.

‘Yes,’ said Ai Di, noncommittally.

‘It makes you glad to be alive,’ said the driver.

‘If you say so,’ said Ai Di.

#kiseki: dear to me #yesssssss #everyone please please read this #so sad #yet so lovely too #you’re very welcome ellie 🖤

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The boys living their lives, making me miss them. May feels so far away...

#natlouis #look at them #sigh

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Thanks for tagging me @thinkonce-acttwice 🥰

Last song: golden hour by JVKE

Favorite Color: black

Latest Movie/TV show: yet another rewatch of Desire Catcher (no big surprise there lol)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: sweet + savory

Relationship Status: single, but keeping an open mind

Last Thing I Googled: the definition of integrated information theory

Current Obsession: timeguessr

tagging: @friendlycoffeefiend and anyone else who’s seeing this (absolutely no pressure 🖤)

I was tagged by @tragic-cosmic-magic! Thank you so much friend❤️

Last Song: It will come back by Hozier! (Highly underrated imo. Real broken cowboy vibes to it)

Favorite Color: Red and black!

Last Movie/TV Show: The Good Wife! Highly recommend it, julianna margulies is an acting treasure and Alan Cumming is just *chef's kiss*

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: My indian-ness says savory AND spicy.

Relationship Status: single like a lone, forlorn pringle

Last Thing I Googled: The spelling of Julianna margulies' name lol. Still not sure i got it right

Current Obsession: Loki and Good Omens!

Tagging:@70snasagay, @drew-dopamine and any other moots who would like to! No pressure!

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All it ever does is rain, Christophe Jacrot

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Get attacked!! ✨🌈SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈 ✨

🖤

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ai di and his collars for @vegaseatsass

#ai di #look at him #ahhhhh

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#ai di #i love him

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hi there @coffeelovesdramasalatte - nice to meet you too 😄 welcome to the world’s tiniest fandom lol - i’m beyond excited that you love this show too! definitely feel free to stop by and yell about it anytime 🖤

I've been going down that rabbit hole of mystery/thriller type dramas with heavy bromance (read: queer subplot) and uhhh why aren't people talking about this drama??

In terms of plot, I'd compare it to Under the Skin, where you have a police captain paired with an expert in their field (in this case: hypnotism).

At the start there's tension whereupon they don't want to work together (like in Beyond Evil) and both of them spend half the show not trusting each other and always suspicious (aka like BE). But then they start to become soft for one another and- well you'll have to watch to find out 😉

There's no love interest for either of them during the entirety of the show (like with A League of Nobleman) and the show makes their relationship very much the focus instead.

They bond over fighting, first with each other and united against others (like with The Merciless) and there's a cat and mouse sequence (reminiscent to Strangers From Hell) where we're unsure whether we've been duped too!

Also the visuals are beautiful! As in the characters themselves (look at these two) but also the cinematography - you can tell this show was shot with love.

Anyway, as long as you're able to ignore a few plot holes, and prepare your heart for some gory/intense crime scenes, then check out Desire Catcher on Viki! (I'm currently dealing with the fic bug and wanting to write fic for these two beautiful humans 👀).

Talking about this with @affiesque has been fun (check out their list of highlights 🥰!)

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List 5 things that make you happy, then send this to the last 10 people who have liked or reblogged something from you.

Passing this to you since I'm curious now ^^ You're such a sweet and happy person ❤️

thanks @thinkonce-acttwice 🖤 ngl, some days finding that happiness is a struggle - but i know the alternative is a road i don’t want to go down anymore, so i try my best ✨

my list:

1. the smell of the beach on my skin in summer

2. experiencing a state of flow when i’m writing

3. rainy city nights

4. hearing a song for the first time and falling so in love with it that it stays on repeat for days

5. wandering around a used bookstore

#been trying to be more kind lately #to myself and others #life is so short and fragile #gotta grab those little bits of joy wherever you can

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Finding myself drawing Foodie lesbians for comfort

#she loves to cook and she loves to eat #this is gorgeous

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Thank you to the lovely @thinkonce-acttwice for the tag - this was fun 🥰

Tagging whoever sees this and wants a nice little distraction 🖤 (link)

#ok so #i look super gay here lol 😂 #so i guess it ended up pretty accurate #😅

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god, i'm just over here having EMOTIONS about ai di when we see him fresh out of prison and how so much of how we see him before and after that is all about this aposematic presentation in all of his bright colors and vicious temper and unbridled threats. and when we take all of that away, he's just...a kid. a kid who grew up too fast and who never knew kindness and just tried to bury his loneliness under layers and layers of violence and anger.

look at him!! look at him!!!! every time we see him in the context of prison scenes, he looks like hell. he's pale and tiny and he can't maintain his bravado. when he's on the phone with chen yi, his eyes are all swollen and the dark circles underneath them are like bruises. there's no heart or bite to his rejection; he's just going through the motions like a shadow of himself. and here, he's trying to be so fucking neutral, so cold and apathetic and like they both don't know he's spent four years trying to rip his own heart out of his body to forget the only person he's ever truly loved and who could (does!) love him in return.

and a moment i always miss is that when chen yi brings him back to the shop and ai di gets out of the car, xiao jie is beaming brightly to welcome him home, and ai di cannot meet his eyes. he sort of flicks his gaze around the other gang members and focuses on a spot beyond them, and he glances at xiao jie, but he can't sustain eye contact -- almost like he's ashamed. the only person he can actually look at is chen yi, and he has this wistful look for half a second before his mouth twists in that determined, dissatisfied way he always gets. (he does it when he's checking chen yi's injuries in episode 12, too -- a sort of bitter resignation about doing what needs to be done.)

they're greeting him like he's still ai di, but he doesn't feel like ai di, because prison stripped him of all his defenses and he's trying to shield himself with the insufficient tatters of his dignity. he's been humbled and broken and now chen yi's brought him to be displayed in front of everybody without letting him re-collect himself in the way he needs to present himself. he doesn't want to be perceived as what he is -- a scared, lonely, miserable kid who just went through something truly horrific.

really, it's one of chen yi's worst mistakes. he does deserve answers, and he does know that ai di will run from honesty. it makes sense that he'd take the approach of cornering him first. but there's cornering him, and there's cornering him when he's in such a raw, vulnerable state, and it just compounded so many existing problems. ai di doesn't want to be faced with his own vulnerability, let alone have someone else see it, let alone have that paraded in front of half of yiyun meng.

it hurts, man. they're talking at each other, past each other, around each other -- but never to. years and years of unhealed hurts and misinterpreted conversations and just a fundamental terror of being true to themselves and their own needs and wants. and there's something so agonizingly poetic about chen yi seeing him honestly and clearly, in the light of day, at the prison gates, because he has seen ai di build up his armor over years and watched the same kid who was so close to him when they were young drift apart. he's still there, but inaccessible. and he's still inaccessible at the prison, too -- in too much pain to allow himself the risk of taking on more -- but this is the closest thing to the ai di he knew. no bullshit, no smoke and mirrors, no flashy tricks to warn off enemies. he is just a person, fragile and human and fallible, and for all the gimmicks he keeps trying to employ to shove chen yi away, he is at the most honest point he could possibly be.

#kiseki: dear to me #ouch ouch ouch #ai di really is just a kid #they’re all just kids #they didn’t ask for any of this #damn