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Tseng is doing his best. Don't question him.

Crisis Core is a very, uh... special game.

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still thinking of sane!seph in a universe threatened by Meteor/insanemultiverse!Seph and the funny part is that if he’s also an astronomy nerd then he just goes outside and is just like fuck is this then?

Sephiroth: "NGL this is kinda fucked but lemme get the telescope out and --"

Genesis: "BUNKER!!! NOW!!!!"

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #crisis core #genesis rhapsodos #sephiroth #loling #Beautiful art btw

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AGSZC Adopt an Emotional Support Cat for Sephiroth

From the @strayheartless archives <3

Thanks @heraldofcrow and @altocat for the grammar help!

---------------------------------

It doesn’t go as planned.

They go to the shelter to try to find a kitten, but Sephiroth finds something even better: a feral momma cat with a single living kitten because all her other babies died. He and she stare at each other for a solid 15 minutes through the bars, until AGZC find them.

Genesis: THERE you are. Sephiroth, the adoptable kittens are this way.

Sephiroth: This one.

Zack: Oh, sorry bud, this one says the kitten is too young to leave his mother.

Sephiroth: No, this cat. The kitten can come too. *has not broken eye contact yet*

Angeal: Sweetheart, this says she’s feral and not up for adoption, and neither is her kitten. Come on, let’s go look at the ones that are available, ok?

Sephiroth: This one.

Cloud: *Looks at Seph. Looks at the cat. Looks at the kitten. Looks at Seph.* This one.

Angeal, Genesis, and Zack can all be stubborn, but they are faced with the immovable object that is Sephiroth with a fixation and the unstoppable force that is Cloud protecting someone. They convince the shelter staff they can take care of both the mother and the baby. Yes, even though she’s feral. Yes, they know they can’t be separated. Yes, they will handle medicating the feral cat.

—

Momma cat immediately adopts Sephiroth as a second kitten. Then Cloud as her third. The first kitten grows up and is weaned and becomes Zack’s dog-cat. He’s friendly and cuddly and likes to play fetch, and his momma likes him, but knows he’s going to be ok on his own. Not her other kittens though. They clearly still need her.

She comes and yowls at Genesis and Angeal when Seph and Cloud need something she can't get them. She yowls at Genesis to go hunting with her to provide for the babies, and at Angeal to figure out what's wrong when they won't eat the nice mice she brings them.

She accepts Zack as a puppy, disciplines him, and comforts him when needed, but her attention belongs to her tall baby and her baby birb first.

Her new sons are idiots, but they’re HER idiots.

Sephiroth calls her “Mother Cat”. Cloud calls her “Cat”. Genesis insists she needs a REAL name (it’s only decent), and writes down "Serafina" on the vet papers. Sephiroth falls in love with him all over again.

If either Sephiroth or Cloud starts hyperventilating, she comes and sits on her boy and purrs until he calms down. If they ignore important things like feeding time or petting-the-cat time, she starts kneading her paws. If they still ignore her, she brings out the claws. She’s not shy about making sure they take care of her and then themselves.

She nips Zack when one of her boys is overstimulated and he's too loud.

She hisses nonstop at the vacuum and stands between it and her babies until they take her to another apartment, at which point she bathes them until they (and she) calm down.

Serafina: YOWL.

Angeal: Hi Serafina. Is one of them being an idiot?

Serafina: YOWL. *walks to the dining table*

Sephiroth: *hunched over a pile of manuscripts, hair a mess, muttering*

Serafina: YOWL.

Angeal: Seph, honey, have you been up all night again?

Sephiroth: …it’s…morning? Wh- *voice cracks* -at day?

Angeal: Wednesday.

Sephiroth: Oh *cough* just one night then.

Angeal: And you haven’t had water since…? Actually, don’t answer that. Clean up your papers, you need to eat, hydrate, and sleep. No, no arguing. Serafina is worried, you need to reassure her.

Sephiroth: Oh! Of course.

—--

Serafina: YOWL.

Genesis: Yes, my Lady Serafina?

Serafina: YOWL. *leads him to the front door, where Cloud is swaying and trying to put on his boots*

Genesis: Cloud Strife, when was the last time you ate?

Cloud: h-Huh? Gen? When did you get here? 

Genesis: Eat. When.

Cloud: ummmmm…breakfast?

Genesis: Yesterday?

Cloud: ……maybe?

Genesis: Sit down before you fall down. You know mako enhancements require more calories. No, stay there and I’ll get you a shake and a bar. Yes, I know you have work. You won’t be any use passed out or dead. Now thank your second mother for saving your life. *stomps off huffily*

#I'm dying #Salt you killed me #Hhhh #I'm gonna die

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Criminal Salty: Week 2

The goulash is cold out here. As the weather turns to ice, so do Salty's fingers on the keyboard.

Still cut off from all private conversation, including comments on people's posts about how they're going through it and need encouragement, Salty soldiers on.

Two tickets have been sent, two automated replies saying "please send a link to the affected post" have been received, multiple replies to those emails have been returned. No human contact, though to be fair, Salty is... 🧂...nevermind.

Salty cares about y'all and sends internet hugs to those who need/want them, especially the folks having a hard time right now, and going into the holidays. You brighten my day and I love having y'all around.

^Zack being uncharacteristically tender during a Sephikitty shutdown, secretly wanting to play to fix it because playing fixes his problems, but setting that aside for Sephikitty's need for a gentle hug. Turns out Sephikitty's about to offer to spar and Zack's going to go nuts for it. ❤️

Special thanks to the homies who added me on discord (salternateunreality), send asks (several folks, but especially @snowbanshee ❤️), and read and interact with my stuff!

@altocat if you see this, I tagged you yesterday in a post about Cokitty that may have gotten lost in the post-storm I made from catching up on 2 days of Tumblr. Cokitty often channels his inner Sephikitty. I'll link it here after I post this, just a sec...

Update: link!

@rottenpumpkin13 ❤️🍊❤️

#!!!

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miniroth after the end of First Soldier gonna be like

Why must you subject me to such depression (keep it up lolol).

Miniroth completely solitary and afraid to open up to anyone ever again. He just sits by himself and doesn't talk to people. Completely isolated. Avoidant.

I like to think that during his early time in the Wutai War Sephiroth suffers from some form of depression/selective mutism. He's just kind of quietly shell shocked. He doesn't speak. He doesn't trust anyone. He doesn't want to connect. He just lives in his own little world, unhappy and alone.

Until Genesis marches up to him one day, Angeal in tow, and DEMANDS that Sephiroth engage with them. And refuses to leave Sephiroth alone until he does.

#ff7 #asks #ffvii #sephcanons #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #crisis core #genesis rhapsodos #angeal hewley #First soldier #ffvii first soldier

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he's fiiiiine

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reblog for sample size !!

#Salty you are white and cream colored #mostly white with cream patches

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Helpfulroth Casually Diagnosing and Enlightening People

I love Helpfulroth so much. So, so much.

Sephiroth is a casual life-ruiner. He would say "oh is your autism acting up today?" To someone who didn't know they had autism. And he genuinely just wants to help. Angeal and Zack walk behind him, apologizing and directing people to the free services detailed on page 7 of this brochure. Genesis sits back and laughs. Cloud is a bandit; he leaves leaflets and journals under people's pillows, and Sephiroth gets in trouble for it, but doesn't tell Cloud because he thinks it's a great idea.

President Shinra gets annoyed that suddenly more people are taking advantage of the Shinra benefits packages. He counted on people staying ignorant, but Helpfulroth is getting people to go see their doctors and request accommodations left and right.

Sephikitty: *walks up to a random third who is stimming and can't make eye contact* Hello, Abbot. 

Abbot: h-hi? 

Sephikitty: If you need toys for stimming or other accommodations, please let me know. 

Abbot, internally: WTF IS STIMMING?!

Sephikitty: *proud of himself*

—------

He also does this with LGBTQIA stuff.

Sephikitty: Ah, Bergman, I see you also noticed Hewley’s fantastic body since he’s been shirtless during training today. I’m afraid I must inform you that he is in a happily committed relationship.

Bergman: I DON’T THINK HEWLEY IS HOT. ONLY GIRLS ARE HOT TO GUYS.

Sephikitty: Oh! Zack told me about this. I believe it is Denial and either Bisexuality or Pansexuality, though I’m unsure of the exact definitions. Ah, I remember when I thought that heterosexuality was the only option. But it turns out you can be sexually attracted to any gender! Very interesting. Well, best of luck with your preferred romantic pursuits. *walks off, very pleased he got to share his new knowledge*

Bergman: *horrified bicurious sputtering*

—-------

And some illnesses, thanks to his enhanced senses.

Sephikitty: Hello, Childress. How is your diabetes?

Childress: …my what? Sir?

Sephikitty: Your diabetes? You’ve had it since I met you? Your blood sugar is often spiking and dipping.

Childress: I don’t…I’m not diagnosed with…is this why I can’t drink soda???

Sephikitty: Probably! Would you care for some almonds? I will find you some almonds. *trots off*

Childress: *existential crisis*

#yesss helpfulroth

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reblog for sample size !!

#crow you are 100% a black cat

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reblog for sample size !!

#I'm feeling sealpoint for some reason

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Sephiroth is given regressive hypnotherapy to help get over his issues

It actually makes things way worse. Because now Sephiroth is having violent flashbacks, confused and disoriented, asking over and over if he can please be put back into his cell. He doesn't want to engage, terrified of being touched or ordered to do something that provokes pain. No matter how many times he's assured this is a safe place, he's completely terrified out of his wits, all his calm composure suddenly melting away. He asks where Gast is. When can this stop? Can it stop if he's good? Where's his cell?

where's his mommy

Genesis and Angeal (who were admittedly listening outside regardless of doctor-patient confidentiality) barge in and immediately snap him out of it. Sephiroth doesn't seem terribly fazed afterwards, back to being cool-headed and stoic again, seemingly unaffected. But Angeal and Genesis make sure to escort him out of there themselves, blaming lackluster Shinra care for doing something so risky without taking the necessary baby steps. They don't completely understand the distressing things Sephiroth was referring to. But they know it's not good and it only reopened some old wounds.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #crisis core #sephiroth #genesis rhapsodos #angeal hewley

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I can't get over how they look and sound similar(in the Japanese Dub).

Huh. I'll have to check the top one out!

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #young sephiroth

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He's so soft in Crisis Core before all the stabbing happens. So I don't blame you. He subverts player expectations going in. None of us expected Sephiroth to actually be kind of a chill and passive sort of guy, much less one who actively had loved ones he cared about. It's a bittersweet kind of comfort, even knowing how it ends.

I can’t believe (sane) Sephiroth, the future stabby mass murderer is a genuine comfort character for me but it’s Crisis Core’s fault, I guess.

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AGSZC Deep Cleaning the Biohazard that is Zack’s Apartment

From the @strayheartless vault <3

—

Zack: It’s not a biohazard, that would mean nothing’s living there, and look, my pets are fine! *opens a drawer with a new litter of mice in it*

Genesis: AAAAAAA! Ahem. I mean to say: Zachariah McKinley Fair, a biohazard means it is unsafe for humans, and often involves dangerous non-human organisms. SUCH AS WILD MICE.

Zack: They’re not wild, they’re my fri-

Genesis: Zachariah. If you finish that word, I will firaga them immediately.

Zack: NO! *Hides the mice with his body*

—-

After Genesis’ 5th childish scream, Angeal’s 3rd round of dry-heaving, and Sephiroth and Cloud being found twitching near the entrance, Zack concedes that maybe he has some work to do.

—

Cloud decides to body-double for Zack by riding him like a backpack.

Zack: Maybe this sock is salvageable!

Koala Cloud: Nope, put it in the bag.

Zack: But I wanna- 

Cloud: IN THE BAG, FAIR.

—

Sephiroth is in full-coverage PPE to protect his hair and senses, and is excavating the fridge with gloves. 

Zack: But my pasta is in that tub of whipped cream! 

Angeal, working at the sink and dry-heaving: I MADE THAT FOR YOU LAST MONTH.

—

They have to set up a rotating schedule of visiting Zack's apartment so he's motivated to clean everything at least weekly, but Zack is really grateful.

He never means for it to get this bad, it’s just…he makes friends with the critters! And, well, sometimes he forgets things. And…and sometimes he just gets overwhelmed. He looks at the pile of dishes and knows he can’t do them all today, so he doesn’t do any.

Or he tries. He starts by picking up the dishes in his bedroom, but trips over a shirt along the way. He sets the dishes down to take the shirt to the laundry, but his eyes catch on the dusty blinds, so obviously he has to clean them, but then he looks up and it’s 3 hours later and he’s dismantled the whole window dressing and is cleaning the grooves with a q-tip and everything is worse than when he started.

Zack breaks down trying to explain it, and Genesis is the first to tell him he understands. Genesis and Angeal sandwich him between themselves while Sephiroth puts a hand on Zack’s shoulder and Cloud starts worming his way into Zack’s arms.

—

Zack cleans for each of them all the time, but for some reason, he can’t understand why they’d help him too.

It surprises him when Angeal comes over and just. Does all his dishes. Or when Genesis comes over and "purifies this hellhole of a bathroom" (gives it a decent clean and fills it with good soaps/battery operated candles/fresh towels). Or when Cloud obsessively sorts and folds his laundry, or when Sephiroth puts everything through the wash when he's working from home one day.

Zack doesn't GET that he's done the exact same things for them, like the time he scoured Angeal's pots for half a day, or polished every metallic surface in Sephiroth's apartment, or dusted Genesis' place so thoroughly it gleamed, or put fresh sheets on Cloud's bed, bundled him up, and did all his laundry while he was dissociating.

He doesn't realize the insurmountable task of addressing The Chair is easy for Angeal (it all goes in the wash. It's all dirty enough.), but the same man finds throwing out socks with holes hard (but acceptable when Zack does it for him).

Zack forgets that he folded all of Gen's towels into swans when Gen’s parents were coming into town and is blown away when Gen leaves a simply folded towel on the rack.

He thinks the work he puts into adding color to Sephiroth’s spartan apartment is nothing, not realizing Sephiroth’s heart is warmed by each and every little splash Zack sneaks in.

Zack doesn’t realize that Cloud would rather do all of Zack’s mopping than address the sensory hell that is washing monster gunk off his own boots, which Zack does for him often.

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19, 24, and 17 for asks 😈

Thank youuuu!! 😈

—

17. Fairy lights or LED lights?

Fairy lights all the way! I am always stuffing them everywhere, especially in my room. I love soft blue, purple, gold, or red stars. It depends on the season!

19. Most important thing in your life?

Ooo that’s a heavy one! I suppose it’s my…overall identity. Who I choose to be, what I believe about life, and how I connect with others! I really value being alive in general, so the choices I make about what to put my faith in and where I end up in the end is very important to me. That particular journey in life!

24. What’s something you do to de-stress?

I often do the same thing—put on some peaceful nature sounds, usually with water or rustling grass, open my window to let either night air or gentle sunlight in, get cozy with a blanket, add some soft music, and then find some way to imagine the beloved characters in cute, wholesome situations. It helps to read fan-fiction or sweet headcanons on people’s blogs. Sometimes I just look at soft gifs and pictures…that’s especially comforting. Other times, it’s all angst though 😈

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Seph getting taunted and his bottom side slips out

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

lmao So do you mean template Sane Sephiroth? Because that's him by default.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #crisis core #sephiroth #this is the raunchiest I will get