an-over-educated-woman

[an-over-educated-woman]

If you see this message on your timeline, I wish you unconditional love and great success.

[an-over-educated-woman]

A Love Letter.

Hey,

It’s been a long time, and I think I finally figured out what I needed to say to you.

I miss you. Even after everything that’s happened; all the anger and petty drama and mishandlings of our friendship. I miss you and there are still days where things happen and I want to go and tell you about them. I want to see your face light up when I tell you good news, I want to hear your laugh when I relay a funny story, and I want to commiserate with you about the many ironies of working in healthcare. I want to tell you that graduate school is going great, that I’ve fallen in love and that he’s everything, and that I’m having a crisis about turning twenty-five.

 I’d like to think that you’d be proud of me. The dated illusion of you in my mind- my conceptualization of the person you were to me two years ago- is proud of me and how far I’ve come. I’ve chased my dreams and achieved a lot more than I thought was possible at first. I hope that you’re achieving a lot now too. I hope that you’re at least studying for the MCAT, cut out those toxic friends, and are dating someone who is good for you. That’s the bare minimum. During the course of our friendship you discovered that I can be hard on people when I know that they can be better. I’m still like that in a lot of ways. I still believe that letting your friends get away with shit makes both us and our friends shitty people. So yeah, I still have those standards. You are so smart, and so talented, and your good humor could reach anyone. Or at least those were some of the things I loved about you before we fell apart. So much time has passed; I could very well not know who you are anymore. But the point is that I hope you won’t waste all of your goodness by wallowing away in the same shithole neighborhood, getting taken advantage of in a job you’re too good for anyways, and allowing another year to pass by where you aren’t going after what you actually want. That’s all!

And as for the other thing- whatever we were at one point in time- I get it now. I get that you figured nothing would come of “us” and now I agree.  The whole situation was just too weird! But even so, I don’t regret it at all, even if you do. You made me feel happy in a pretty dark and confusing time in my life. I remember rushing to toss my apron away after clocking out of work because I knew you had messages waiting for me on my phone. I remember all of the belly laughs and inside jokes we shared. There was a thrill to being young and stupid and crazy about you. 

Sometimes I think about the possibility of crossing paths with you in the future- just seeing you in passing. I think that’s common for folks whose relationships ended the way ours did. It makes my heart hurt to think about the idea of finding you exactly as you were when we fell apart. I’d much rather see you happy. One day, I want to discover that you got up and took action- you went to medical school and are getting to change peoples’ lives for the better every day, just like you said you dreamed about doing. I want to discover that you’ve married a good woman, and that you get to be the dad you’ve said you’ve dreamed of being. I want so much to feel like we can be happy for each other and chalk up all the drama to what it was- people in their twenties fucking up and then moving on.

Okay! I think that’s all I wanted to say. I hope that you’re okay.

Best Wishes,

Phoebe

#a “fuck you” letter i wrote in therapy that turned into something else #sometimes your brain and heart surprise you #and finding closure comes in a way you didn't expect #this is a more personal post than i'm used to #but i felt like posting it :) #love letter #love letters 💌

[an-over-educated-woman]

You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace. ~EB

[an-over-educated-woman]

I really do want all of your dreams to come true. I love you girls in my phone

[an-over-educated-woman]

lil springtime moodboard ahead of the spring equinox :)

images via pinterest

#embracing my inner lover-era girlie-pop #spring #lover era

[an-over-educated-woman]

for me, it’s like this-

option 1- be silly

option 2- perish

[an-over-educated-woman]

i’m strange but friendly so people tell me things

[an-over-educated-woman]

“you should be at the club” i should be by the sea. i should be in the mountains. i should be awestruck and rendered speechless by the majesty of the natural world. if you even care

[an-over-educated-woman]

… 𝑚𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑 ✩✰

[an-over-educated-woman]

Art by Devin Elle Kurtz

[an-over-educated-woman]

tv casts that basically raised me (pt.7)

H2O- Just Add Water (2006-2010)

I'm an adult woman and I still come back to this show when I need an escape. Playing mermaids is something you never outgrow.

#h2o just add water #cleo sertori #phoebe tonkin #emma gilbert #claire holt #rikki chadwick #cariba heine #zane bennett #burgess abernethy #lewis mccartney #angus mclaren #bella hartley #indiana evans #will benjamin #luke mitchell #h2o #tv shows #comfort tv #Australian tv #tv casts that basically raised me

[an-over-educated-woman]

tv casts that basically raised me (pt.6)

New Girl (2011-2018)

#new girl #tv shows #jess day #jessica day #nick miller #cece parekh #schmidt #winston schmidt #coach #winston bishop #zooey deschanel #jake johnson #nick x jess #max greenfield #hannah simone #lamorne morris #damon wayans jr. #tv casts that basically raised me #this show was the foundation of my undergrad years #comfort tv

[an-over-educated-woman]

mariah.theis

[an-over-educated-woman]

writing my goals for the year into the void so that i can feel more accountability-

start a handwritten recipe book and add to it. i have always loved to cook and bake, but i've never been as comfortable as i've wanted in the kitchen. i recently discovered my late great-grandmother's handwritten cook books and fell in love. i've started my own book, and am slowly branching out into more difficult recipes.

be more intentional with loving my partner. i love them so, so much. my schedule is packed, and i never want that to get in the way of spending time with them. i've made a list of things they've talked about wanting or wanting to do, and i'm starting to check them off a little at a time.

choose a trip to save for and go on in 2025. my partner and i are considering Mexico, and a little bit of research is required now!

cut down on my unnecessary spending. i have a closet full of clothes and a wall full of books and a desk full of crafting supplies. but every once in awhile i still overspend on something i don't need. i want to be more conscious about how i spend my money and thus my time.

invest more time, love and care into my space. my partner and friends rather opened my eyes to the joy of decorating and setting up a home. their spaces are cozy and welcoming and feel so much like them, and i want that too! i'm starting with doing a big clear-out, then sealing the paintings i've done that i love and rearranging things as needed.

#new year

[an-over-educated-woman]

My cousin’s work, in Istanbul (B.P. Yenigün)

[an-over-educated-woman]

Girl photographed by Hugh Magnum c. 1909

Magnum’s photographs are notable for their informality, which was unusual for the period. I just adore the series of this girl, she’s such a beauty.

[an-over-educated-woman]