anrisimps

[anrisimps]

Jinshi's parents Maomao's parents

𝓸𝓞𝓸 𝓚𝓾𝓼𝓾𝓻𝓲𝔂𝓪 𝓷𝓸 𝓱𝓲𝓽𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓸𝓽𝓸 𝓸𝓞𝓸

[anrisimps]

they are so funny

[anrisimps]

imagine being so babygirl that 50% of the people you meet want to pat you on the head, snuggle you in their pocket, and call you a good boy. and the other 50% mistake you for a prostitute.

#an zhe #little mushroom

[anrisimps]

If you have a crush on me just come talk to me and I promise you will get over it

[anrisimps]

vampire who's married to an archaeologist voice: my love, stop trying to carbon date me

[anrisimps]

What's the trope name for when someone finds out they're the Chosen One(tm) and is like "No, thank you" and goes and does something else

[anrisimps]

As a lesbian, I find it difficult to understand attraction to men. That being said, when I see some bara-style dilfs with big soft bellies, I can't help but feel like a warrior watching a display of martial skill from a respectable rival school. I lock eyes with the master leading his students in their daily drills and give him a single nod of undying respect, and he returns the gesture. We both understand that the difference between Dilf and Milf is a single letter.

#Tumblr

[anrisimps]

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

[anrisimps]

Internet Safety

[anrisimps]

use more olive oil

[anrisimps]

wearing way too many belts all by yourself handsome?

[anrisimps]

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

#tumblr

[anrisimps]

#Turning

[anrisimps]

you can be a dickhead to me but my whimsy will always haunt your narrative

#Tumblr

[anrisimps]

Please Excuse My Desperate Anguished Screams

[anrisimps]

#the apothecary diaries

[anrisimps]

Cale: If you two can manage not to kill eachother while I'm gone.

Beacrox: Oh please, we're not children.

Cale: *leaves*

Choi Han: Eat shit and die.

Beacrox: Yes, fuck you.