avijohann

[avijohann]

Bloom at Night 🌷

[avijohann]

Are you normal, or do you still get caught off guard when you open the wiki page for a character whose fate you know perfectly well, and start tearing up because it's written in past tense?

#WAUGH

[avijohann]

it’s a good day to Appreciate Johann

#Hes so dreamy

[avijohann]

i hate johavi

[avijohann]

reading the source code of a videogame and playing it perfectly in my head

[avijohann]

oh you expected more rain world or cult of the lamb content?? the only fanart ive been posting on this account?? wrong. the adventure zone.

[avijohann]

The Wordless One

Lucas doesn’t know why Johann’s memory is affected differently. He swears.

wc: 2,027

The Birds in this fic are: ████ & ███ (Twins), ██ (Lover), ████ (Protector), Lucas Miller (Lonely Journal-Keeper), ████ (Peacemaker)

day 7 of @johann-appreciation-week! thank you to @avijohann for the amazing art. I can’t believe it’s the final day! I’m so glad I could participate this year. can’t wait for the next :’)

I don’t know what happened, I swear.

Please, trust me when I say I really don’t know what happened. There are a million reasons that I cannot possibly calculate that can explain why Johann is having such an adverse reaction to Fisher’s erasure when the others aren’t. There are a million reasons why he hasn’t spoken a single word since I found him lying next to ████ after the erasure. There’s a million reasons I can’t find him a home like I have with the others. There’s… there’s…

Oh, I don’t know. I hate it just as much as anyone else would that I don’t know why this is happening to him. I wish it wasn’t. Johann was never the loudest person, his voice never filled the room incessantly like ████’s did, but it is so fucking weird that he doesn’t say a single thing anymore. Not even when I prod and poke at him, or when I bother him with all the little arguments I used to bug him with. Landing procedures, retrieval missions, how to file paperwork, how to brew the best coffee, who should clean our desks, worst musical composers across the planes we’ve visited nothing nothing nothing gets him to talk.

It’s hard enough, having ██ on the loose while also having to take care of Johann. It’s a suffocating rock and hard place to be between. Of course it had to be those two. They’re the inseparable pairs that I have separated. Have to continue to separate, because I know ██ is going to figure out that I haven’t placed Johann anywhere and he’s going to come crawling back to me. A highly annoying block in my road to saving the world.

Would it… would it be easier to leave Johann off somewhere? Even if he can’t speak, he— he can still walk. He eats when I tell him to. He’s not as dexterous as he used to be, he moves slow and he’s tripped enough times on his Robe that I’ve had to hide it away, but… it’s still survivable. And— and he’ll be off my hands! ██ will find him, but he doesn’t have access to Fisher. He couldn’t fix whatever’s happening to Johann… but he would take care of him. Better than I can do.

It’s… unnervingly cruel. Looking at him as I write this down, I don’t know how well this can go. Johann is barely moving, his ears flop down more than a half-elf’s normally should, and though I’ve found no evidence of a fever, he keeps holding his hand up to his forehead. I don’t know if I can be sure someone else doesn’t get to him before ██. Maybe I can attach some tracking device to Johann, something to keep tabs on him, make sure he doesn’t get hurt.

Yeah… yeah, yeah. That sounds good. I’ll get to working on that right away.

—

I couldn't do it. 

How could I have done it? I tried, I did, and I hate that I even tried it. I didn’t even leave Johann for a whole five hours before I rushed back to pick him up. Nothing happened to him. Some people looked at him weird, some guy got in his face when Johann stared at him for too long, but he didn’t get hurt. It was me, I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of his little point in my tracker, I couldn’t stop worrying about what would happen to him, I—

I couldn’t stop thinking about how I could fix him.

It’s not— It is wrong. It’s wrong it’s wrong it’s wrong I know exactly what I’m doing. I know why I’m fretting about him when I’m not fretting about ████, ██████, even ██████, my own mother. It’s not that I’m not worried about them, I have visited my mom, I have visited ████, but I can’t just visit Johann. Especially if ██ gets to him.

I need to figure out if I can fix Johann. I can’t leave a project of mine, failed.

I’m not— I’m not saying that Johann’s a project, no, no no. He’s not an experiment, that’s not what this is. I just want to right the single fixable wrong in this mess I’ve made. I don’t want to prove anything else. That’s not what this is. I won’t let myself turn it into that, I promise.

…Right now, Johann is attempting to clean my desk. I don’t know why, I swear. I didn’t tell him to. I didn’t— I didn’t tell him, I don’t know why that has his attention, I don’t know. Hold on.

—

Nothing’s working.

Not a single fucking thing is working.

I have run multiple tests on Johann, as much as I can with these limited amounts of resources, and there is nothing physically wrong with him. He can make noises— I found out he can say his name when prompted, but absolutely nothing else— he’s eating well, his sleep schedule is actually better than it was when he was normal. His balance is still a little off, and he keeps picking at his fingers, but otherwise he’s in perfect health.

I thought I had fixed it all when I realized it couldn’t have been physical. When I started trying to jog Johann’s memory, the ones I was so sure I hadn’t touched. I made him repeat his name, over and over and over, using it to communicate. He’s still monotonous, as he usually was, but he’s starting to use tone again and that’s all I can hope for when it comes to speaking. So I tried something else. Something that should have been easier.

I gave Johann his violin. I watched as he held it in a way I would never have expected him to. Limp in his hands, his grip awkward and strained, I couldn’t even get him to hold it in the proper position. It got to a point I couldn’t leave it in his arms in good faith. I took it from his hands carefully, and he stared at me with empty eyes.

I tried again. Multiple times throughout multiple days. I brought out his other instruments. Johann acted even more clueless around them, looking over them so clumsily and inquisitively that he almost snapped the strings of his lyre. If he can’t figure out his music, the thing he dedicated his entire life to, what he loved more than leading our mission (he barely even wanted to be called Captain, he much preferred being called Maestro despite the entire ███ hating that their star astronaut wanted to be called that stupid unique title), then… fuck, what’s left of him?

I… I don’t know what happened, I swear. I don’t know where to go from here. I can’t just stop, but if it’s impossible to figure out…

I need a drink.

—

██ knows.

I knew I should have put up that ward earlier. I didn’t know he would use my own creations against me— I need to adjust the mechanism of the fusebox, so a soul can only be taken in and not voluntarily joined. What a flaw in my blueprints, I should’ve accounted for the undead using it against—

That doesn’t matter right now, Lucas, holy shit! ██ knows.

I saw him, in that shitty prototype body, somehow my detection didn’t go off and he was kneeling hovering right in front of Johann, who only stared blankly at the strange robot in front of him. I heard ██ plead, his voice staticky from my terrible audio system I made on the fly, trying to communicate with Johann, and quickly realizing he wasn’t understanding. Wasn’t even responding.

Avi only realized I was there when Johann got up from his bed and ran to hide behind me.

I tried to subdue him, I swear. I grabbed the metal pipe on the nearby desk and swung it hard on the robot I had spent so long making to keep him there. So I could talk to him. But no, he’s the one who blew his own fuse to eject himself from the body. He’s the one who attacked me. I don’t think he wanted to kill me. I don’t think he’s like that. But, I mean, he got so so so close until…

Until Johann swung at him with my pipe.

It didn’t hit. Of course it didn’t, a lich isn’t affected by blunt attacks like that. But it made ██ stop moving and get off of me. He stared at Johann, and though he had no eyes to speak of, I just… I just know what they would’ve looked like. Confused. Scared. Pained.

I should’ve captured him. I should’ve gotten him trapped, hurt, anything, but I was too late. He reached to try and take Johann’s hand, but when Johann backed up behind me again, he didn’t waste a second. He must’ve seen me reaching for my device because he left without a single word.

██ knows, and that leaves me a dead man walking.

—

I… lie. A lot.

Even when nobody's watching. Even when nobody’s hearing. Even when nobody’s reading.

It’s a habit I’ve gained even before joining the ███. I lied more than I should have even during the mission. I got a lot better, but near the end, when we landed in this world and I saw the horrible damage we were doing with our own creations…

Well, I picked it up again.

I’ve been lying to myself. And by extension, I’ve been lying to Johann. I realized this when I chided Johann for staring at the new bard Seeker’s violin and trying to grab it. I said I didn’t know what got into him as I apologized to the Seeker. 

I thought maybe if I lied to myself, I would forget. Like the memory of my own horrible mishap would melt into Fisher’s galaxy eventually. It never did. And reading back on my old notes, I recognize how insanely stupid I sound. It’s embarrassing, really, how I thought that was convincing. I even added “I swear” to every single lie I told. What loser does that?

…How was I supposed to know, though? How was I supposed to sort through the dozens of papers on our shared desk? How was I supposed to know that, mixed in with my journals of our mission, Johann had stored all his musical compositions? Every single one, even the ones from back home, because even when we initially thought it was just two months, he couldn’t bear the thought of going to a whole new planar system without his music. “They are me, and I am them,” he told me once. I laughed in his face when he said that.

But he was right. Somehow, in some way, every composition held pieces of him. Johann spread his entire existence throughout his compositions. And when we shared our desk, the late nights doused in black coffee and brainstorming, our life’s work were intertwined. They were cluttered on our desk. Desperately needing some reorganizing.

And I threw it all in Fisher the Voidfish’s tank, hurried and rushed, because I could hear my mom coming down the hall when I only had the main journal in.

Now look at him. Johann is… empty. He helps around the Bureau, leading people to the Voidfish. He sits near the Voidfish all the time now. At first, it would sing to him, prod at his location in its tank, begging for the food he could lovingly create for it back during the mission. But eventually, it gave up, once it noticed it was going nowhere. Johann looked at it with tired eyes all the same, the awe that once filled him when looking at its beautiful structure all but gone.

And… now it’s gone. All because of me. But I have the Bureau now. A whole organization to myself, dedicated to finding our Relics. When I have them all, my plan will finally be put into place, and the world will be safe. Then, the chase will be over. I can gather everyone back, ██ included, and we could be together. Johann will get his memories back. It’ll all be okay.

I can fix everything. I swear by it.

#:) #He swears #Fics #Johann appreciation week #Johann

[avijohann]

The Wordless One

My final entry for @johann-appreciation-week

Thank you @crystallizedkingdoms for giving me an excuse to participate. Read their accompanying fic here:

#taz balance #taz johann #Johann #johann appreciation week #My art

[avijohann]

The Peacemaker

My entry for today's @@johann-appreciation-week.

@crystallizedkingdoms 's entry is SO COOL you guys. It comes in three parts, which you can read here:

#Taz balance #My art #Taz johann #Johann #johann appreciation week

[avijohann]

The Peacemaker, pt. 1/3

The first meeting. A serenade.

wc: 412, 11 panels

The Birds in this fic: Irrelevant.

day 6 of @johann-appreciation-week! thank you to @avijohann for the art. unlike the first two days, all three parts will be posted today and count as one fic. i have no clue how im gonna put this in ao3.

[avijohann]

The Peacemaker pt. 2/3

The first offer. With saudade.

wc: 448, 14 panels

The Birds in this fic: They don’t understand you. Not like I do.

day 6 of @johann-appreciation-week. thank you @avijohann for the art. oh my god I am very sorry for the triple tagging today LMAO

[avijohann]

The Peacemaker pt. 3/3

The final performance. An aubade.

wc: 509, 17

The Birds in this fic are: Stay. Please. With me.

day 6 of @johann-appreciation-week. thank you to @avijohann for the art. finally, at the end. apologies for the spam hakdjalajsk

[avijohann]

The Lonely Journal Keeper

This one is my favorite :)

My entry for @johann-appreciation-week. Read the accompanying entry by @crystallizedkingdoms here:

#Taz balance #Taz johann #Johann #My art #Johann appreciation week

[avijohann]

The Lonely Journal-Keeper

Johann has to put away his fear of being forgotten to do what’s best for the world. He thinks he can do it. He thinks it will make it easier. But it does not.

wc: 2,262

The Birds in this fic: Sloane & Ash (Twins), Ren (Lover), Kravitz (Protector), Avi (Peacemaker), Brian (Wordless One)

day 5 of @johann-appreciation-week! you can also read this on ao3. and thank you to @avijohann for the art!

Johann clutches his chronicled scrolls tight.

There is a pit in his stomach as he rereads the music on these scrolls he penned during their travels under Fisher’s light. He goes over them, over and over and over again, making sure every single story embedded in his music is correct and that his redaction is thorough. His regular journals, notably less packed and loved as his musical compositions, are scattered around his body on the floor. Johann knows that whatever is written and redacted in those journals is correct in their details. It is his music that needs to be checked.

It’s his music that he needs to be forgotten most thoroughly.

He had been recruited into the Starblaster’s mission precisely because his music holds stories in such a way that most writing cannot compete with. The compositions, all deeply interwoven with each other, hold a century of memories that could only be contained through a master’s song. It is all here; every snarky comment Sloane and Kravitz hurled at each other; every bet Ash won when they arm wrestled with Brian; every dish Ren made; hell, even every kiss Avi gave Johann. All of it is scratched onto time-sick parchment that Johann has held so dear to his heart, hoping one day, it will be heard in a time of peace.

And Johann’s the one destroying it.

Why? Why him? The day before he settled with this decision, he watched the single sun dip below the horizon and wondered, Why do I have to do this? He knows his answer, he sees it in the reports of what their horrid weapons of destruction have done to this world. Yet, he still asks. He still carves into his heart for a satisfying answer. Why me alone?

Johann shuts down this questioning when he reaches the later parts of his compositions. Not the time. I’ve already made up my mind, he asserts himself. It would be a lie to say that he has internalized it. In fact, his heart is pounding in his chest with every note he scans and each bar he passes through as he nears the end he set. 

It doesn’t help that Fisher is… there. Well, of course it is there. It has to be. When all is said and done, and everything Johann has worked on has disappeared, it will all be thanks to Fisher. That’s the only way this will work. There is no other plan. But when Johann looks up at it and stares at its long, glittering tentacles that swirl with the galaxy in its giant bell, Johann is left with a strange mix of awe and fear.

It wasn’t always like that. Johann tasked himself as the primary caregiver of Fisher when they took it from its dying planet. He cared for it, feeding it scraps of his unrelated songs and watching the smile on the crew’s faces when Fisher would eventually send the song back out. He cleaned its tank and watched it play with little toys Johann found throughout their worlds. He would even play his music in front of its tank to allow it to enjoy the performance without eating, and in turn it danced with him. He loved Fisher, loved that they shared the same language: music unfiltered.

But then that cycle, Fisher eating a little love song Johann wrote, and not letting it out…

Johann cringes underneath the twinkling light of Fisher even now. Those days of feeding it his music are over now, when it became evident that, for whatever reason, it simply would not release anything again. When he realized it at the time, it planted a single small seed that dug its roots into Johann’s mind so deep that it only grew over time: What would happen to me if it took all of my music?

To be erased, scrubbed from every person and every plane except for the undead, felt like a fate worse than death.

And here you are fucking doing it to your friends’s whole lives not just their work you’re erasing their lives you’re ruining them you’re sick you’re fucking horrific you—

Johann hisses and scrapes up his whole life into his arms. His thoughts clamour together in his brain, some tiny scrap of a conscious bringing up every single thing he loved in hopes to stop it. Sloane, Kravitz, Ash, Ren, Brian, Avi (Johann bites so hard into his lip when he thinks of him), all their journey and the relationships they’ve forged… all in his arms. All in his creation.

Fisher’s light casts a shadow behind Johann as he looks up at the tank’s open top. Well, he attempts to stop every other thought outside of his head, it’s now or never. 

The tank is not huge. There are some steps that were added in the early cycles when Fisher had started to grow too big, but it isn’t as towering as it would later be. Just some steps, then a simple drop. It’s so easy, Johann realizes.  How can this be so easy? How did we allow this to be unchecked? There should be a puzzle, a trap, an alarm, something, anything to stop me, please stop me…

Johann throws himself onto the steps. His foot finds the very first one and he has to drag the other one onto the next. Parchment paper and journal leather are all bunched up in his arms and he holds them so tight. There aren’t many steps, it really isn’t a staircase. It’s a glorified step stool. Yet, Johann’s body drags, and it aches with each movement. A hundred years of memories hang on Johann’s shoulders and by the time he has made it high enough to the rim of the tank, exhaustion seeps into his body. 

Against his better judgment, Johann peers into the tank water from above. Fisher’s vast swirling galaxies glitter brighter than the view from outside the tank. It’s gorgeous, Johann remarks. So vast, so beautiful, so inviting. If Johann slips, if somehow it could make him disappear—

Oh, what’s the use? Something must be done. Lives must be saved.

Johann drops his life into Fisher’s tank. He watches as they float at the top of the water and suck up the water and start blotting the ink. Fisher, curious as ever, reaches up towards the parchment and journals. It’s hungry, he notices right away. It reaches up so quickly and so desperately. A giant meal composed of masterpieces after years of being deprived of his music. It pulls some scrolls down to its galactic mouth and, knowingly or unknowingly Johann can’t quite tell, devours their memories.

No going back, Johann realizes. I’m alone. I’m forgotten.

The descent down those steps is short. Johann does not throw himself down nor does he trip or collapse into his knees in front of Fisher. He stands in front of the tank and watches as his dear friend tears into their lives. Every parchment it eats, it doesn’t spit back out. There is pain in Johann’s chest as he stares at the feast he has provided, but he cannot bear to look away. What right does he have to look away from his own actions? Johann is many things, but he is not a coward.

It is quiet. Johann’s not sure what he expected; screams, wailing, glass breaking, anything that indicated his crew is really undergoing such a horrific experience. But this room is pretty soundproof, Ash made sure of that when they were improving the interior of the Starblaster. A good place you can practice without waking up the whole plane, they would laugh in his face. Now, Johann cannot hear their laughter or their screams from within this room. He’s not sure if that is for the better or for worse.

They should all be distracted. He made sure they were all busy before doing this. Sloane and Ren were triangulating Ash’s whereabouts after their sudden disappearance. Kravitz and Brian were playing some card game that he knew could keep their attention for long enough. Avi was working on some new metalworking project— some hobby he picked up over the century of their journey— though he refused to let Johann know what he was making. Johann can only hope it is something big enough to keep his attention for long enough.

Johann only has so much time.

Minutes pass by. He counts the measures of time through the bubbling in the tank and the splashes of the water as Fisher grabs more parchment. It gorges on the information, not with tooth or claw or anything you would expect from a monster capable of such destruction. Its tentacles are soft and gentle, its mouth indistinguishable. It eats like it has all the time in the world. It might as well have just that. Johann holds his breath and counts the time.

What were his friends doing? Johann wonders about it, but he dares not break this moment of solitude. He cannot bear to witness it in front of him. His mind fills in the gaps, cruel and creative as it has been all his life. 

Maybe Sloane, the one who has supported you in your darkest moments, is crying out for her twin’s name as it slips from her lips. Ren, who always watched you perform your music, would reach for her rod and forget what she was doing in the middle of the action. Kravitz and Brian, close friends who taught you the most wonderful lessons on magic and music, drop their cards as they reach for their head, clawing at memories that are just out of your reach. Avi—

Johann gets lost in the time he knows he’s losing. His eyes fixate on those stars and nebulae and his thoughts wander once again and think about falling inside of it. So lost he doesn’t hear the footsteps or the gentle humming approaching his room. He takes too long to notice the jiggling of the doorknob behind him, and fuck, he turns around and—

Avi stands at the doorway with wide eyes and a clenched fist.

Johann has tears in his eyes and he does not know when they got there. He watches as Avi’s eyes zero in on the parchment and journals in Fisher’s grasp, then immediately gloss over with a glassy film. No, no, why now, why in front of me? Johann realizes with terror. “Avi, fuck, no… You shouldn’t have seen this, shit, no! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I…”

Avi stands dazed, blinking hard and fast. He walks past the doorway and the door swings mostly closed, but it is still cracked open. He looks around the room, but his eyes struggle to focus on anything. It’s starting to static out, Johann thinks. It makes him shiver. “What are you… Johann, why am I…?” Avi tries to ask, but his words fall short. His words are being ripped away. Right in front of him.

Johann hurries over to Avi. His breathing is hard and fast. His hands reach to grip Avi’s arms so tight, and Avi clenches his closed fist even harder. “Come on, baby,” Johann whimpers, “you’re going to be okay. Please, Avi, it’ll just be for a little bit. Not even a year. I’m going to fix everything, okay? This world won’t hurt anymore. And you’ll be happy, I-I have such a nice place for you in the meantime. You’ll be so happy there. It’s the nice place in the north we’ve always dreamed of. And when I’m ready, I’ll make you remember. You’ll remember. I promise.”

As Johann stumbles over his words and whispers his promises, he watches Avi get more and more frantic. He brings him towards the wall of the room and pushes him against it for support. Immediately, Avi tenses. “No, no,” he says. His voice is breathy and terrified. He shakes his head and presses his body against the wall. Hard. “Where am I? Get off of me.”

“Sit down, baby, please. You’re going to hurt yourself,” Johann pleads. He feels Avi’s knees buckle beneath them and grips his arms even tighter. He helps Avi slide down the wall. Avi sits down, and Johann kneels in front of him. “There. There. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. I love you, Avi.” All the while, Avi stares at Johann and a few tears fall down his face. He brings his fist close to his chest. Like he didn’t trust Johann.

A pause. Heavy breathing. Then, a question.

“Who are you?”

Johann keens. Everything he has ever feared to happen, much less witness, is happening in his arms. His cry is piercing, filling the staticked-out halls of the Starblaster. “I love you, Avi!” he screams to no one. “I love all of you. I’m going to fix it! It’ll all be over soon, I promise, I, I—” Johann’s cries try to stabilize into deep breaths, but it all collapses when he looks back at Avi’s terrified, wide eyes. He throws himself over Avi’s body and devolves, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry—”

And then it all goes quiet.

—

(Avi’s clenched fist loosens when he finally slumps over. Johann’s fingers shakily open Avi’s hand up.

A metal ring engraved with intricate details rests in his palm. A rune with four equilateral triangles, two pairs stacked on top of each other, facing each other and touching point-to-point is carved on the head. It is beautiful.

Johann closes his eyes, clutches it to his chest, and weeps.)

#Haven't read yet but its okay im sure its gonna be very happy one #johann appreciation week #Johann #Johavi #Fics

[avijohann]

The Protector

My entry for @johann-appreciation-week day 4 i was too tired to upload yesterday.

I really like @crystallizedkingdoms's entry for this, please read it:

#taz balance #taz johann #johann appreciation week #my art

[avijohann]

The Protector

Despite his crew’s convictions, Johann is perfectly capable of being the protector, and not the protected all the time. Such a shame it took a near-death experience and hearing loss to realize that, but we’ve all been there.

wc: 1,764

The Birds in this fic: Carey and Scales (Twins), Killian (Lover), Antonia (Lonely Journal-Keeper), Rowan (Peacemaker), Hurley (Wordless One)

day 4 of @johann-appreciation-week! yayyy!! you can also read this on ao3. and thank you to @avijohann for the art! (I think I forgot to say that the past couple posts… oops)

Silver blood splatters on Johann’s face. The strange, dog-like creature writhes by his feet as the cloud of dagger slits its shadowy body into ribbons of blue and black. He makes sure every dagger cuts deep.

There’s a distant howl behind him. A haunting chorus grows, and he knows now it’s time to fucking leave. He pulls the Light of Creation closer to his body and squints through the darkness. Through the thick darkness of the forest hell the Light has taken them through, he can see the tree line now. The ship is just beyond the forest. He just needs to keep running, and he will be safe.

—

“Can all of you stop assigning me ship duty when the world is even slightly dangerous? You guys know I am just as capable as you, right?”

Johann’s six friends all shifted in their spots and eyed each other. He watched as they avoided his gaze and toyed with their respective weapons. It was Rowan who decided to speak up, with his ever-friendly voice that said, “We know that, Johann. Of course we do. But I think you can make an exception when this world is teeming with shadow demons?”

Johann crossed his arms and glared at the six of them. “Yeah, and then when the next plane has evil robots, you’ll want me to sit out too, yeah? And when the next plane has too-rough terrain? And when the next plane has rainy weather,” he said. He saw Scales and Killian rolling their eyes, but he didn’t find it in him to care. “Then I’ll just be stuck on ship duty forever. And I’m not even the pilot! Hurley is!”

—

Johann kicks the creature’s limp body to the side and weighs his options. He could just run. He’s good at that. In every world over the past two decades, all those that have perished, he’s gotten good at running from them. He even has the Light with him. Every protocol they have says he must run without looking back. And really, why shouldn’t he? This world is a fucking mess. Getting to some safety would be best.

But then he hears it. A piercing scream behind him that sends shivers down his spine. Johann turns around and sees nobody behind him and his blood boils. Didn’t fucking listen to me, he seethes. For once he tries to get them to safety, abandoning his ship duty to do so, and for what? To be the one to get the Light of Creation and still not have them listen to him? All they did was lecture him when he got there about how dangerous it was that he came with no one at the Starblaster.

If they just listened to me, if they just followed me, if they just let me take the reins to protect them—

Another scream. Sounds of a fight breaking out, of metal and flesh and teeth clashing together, fill the air. If they keep making noise, they’ll be dead for sure. These creatures have impossibly good hearing, so good it made up for their lack of eyes. Every noise they make will agitate the fight even more. If Johann runs away now, all of his friends would die in this world. They weren’t even halfway through the year.

Johann grips the Light tighter and rushes back towards his friends.

—

Antonia adjusted the quiver on back and sighed. “Johann, I don’t understand. Wouldn’t you want to be safer here? You said at the very beginning of this mission how unnecessary it was that we were bringing all our weapons here. Now you want to throw yourself to the wolves,” she said. She leaned on the rails of the Starblaster and her long purple hair blew in the wind.

Johann bit his lip hard. He looked out onto the grassy plains that Hurley landed the Starblaster on, how its silver grass shone so bright in both the day and the night. Just beyond was the tree line, a perfectly straight line of a forest that got so dark it was practically perpetually nighttime inside. “I didn’t exactly know how often these worlds would suck, you know,” he said. Bitterness laid heavy on his tongue when he spoke, and he knew Antonia could pick up on it.

“Then answer my question.”

“Because it feels like you aren’t taking me seriously,” Johann growled. “Yeah, sure, I complained about a bunch of fighters on a research expedition over two decades ago. That means I never want to fight ever and should always stick to the ship, right? That I need all of you to protect me like I’m delicate? I can protect you guys, too!”

“I…” Antonia tries to argue, but the words die on her lips. “I understand. It’s not fair to you. But… we all have our supplies packed. We’ve got a game plan. Just, um, let us get the Light this time? And I promise, for real I promise, that we can all talk about this for the rest of the year. I’ll vouch for you pretty hard! I used to go on hunts with a bard back home. She was pretty fun.”

Yeah. Fun. Johann didn’t respond. He stared into the dark wall the tree line created with an intense glare. He hoped his eyes didn’t land on his crew, who were gathered below in another spar session that he was not invited to.

—

Hey.

The shambling wisps of darkness and smoke jerk away from Antonia’s body and tilt its head around the area. Johann watches from a silvery shrub, cupping his mouth to amplify his whispers. The beast drags its pseudoclaws against the dirt and searches frantically for the source of the speaking, its eyeless face shifting and scrunching up in frustration when it can’t find the noise. Not that it will ever find it. Johann is making sure of that.

I don’t know if you understand common or not, but I’ll have you know that your lot has been kind of fucking awful to my friends lately. 

A growl almost breaks Johann’s connection. The shadowy monster snaps its teeth in the air, its noises getting progressively louder as it paces around the silver battlefield. Though it is alone, any loud noises could trigger a whole new pack to join in on the fight. He can hear Scales and Carey groaning together, and it momentarily catches the creature’s attention instead of his whispers. Shit. He can’t let that thing hear his friends, not when they’re still alive and on the ground.

Don’t you fucking dare make this harder for me—

Darkness swirls faster. The monster whirls around closer to Johann, and just when he thinks he’s been caught, he hears a scream a few steps away from him. “I can’t— no! Carey!” Killian’s voice cries out. Her voice sounds strange, strained and garbled in a way that Johann almost doesn’t recognize her. He pulls the Light of Creation close to his chest and damn near starts hugging it.

Yeah, okay, no use in this shit. Fuck off!

Johann stands up with the Light in his arms and let the full brunt of the spell snap. Blinding pain pierces through the creature’s head. Johann holds his breath and keeps his box stead. As soon as it rears his head back, its dark mouth open in excruciating pain, Johann immediately casts the Silence spell he had readied, his violin bow an impromptu wand. The monster moves to scream, a feat so taxing its body fizzles and shreds at the limbs, but not a single howl is heard. Even when it writhes and scratches at the forest floor, no pack comes rushing in to save it, and the fear kicks in. It turns and runs away Johann, blending into the darkness from whence it came. Johann can’t hear its screams when it steps out of the spell’s radius and thank fuck for that.

Johann scrambles out of the shrubbery he’s hidden in and runs towards his friends. They are scattered around, hard to see in the dark environment, but they are not too far away that he can’t see them all. He runs to the one closest to him and stares down at Killian’s body. Claw marks slash across her body and spill blood, but that’s not the concerning place where blood is spilling. Blood dribbled from her ears in a spotty stream, but it’s enough to make Johann wince.

Killian is doubled over in pain, but when she recognizes Johann in front of her, she lets out what Johann assumes is a sigh of relief. When she can’t hear her own sigh, her fingers fly up to her ears, and her eyes widen in panic. Johann’s hand frantically waves in front of her to stop her from panicking. He places a finger to his lips, then makes a sweeping gesture to illustrate the spell’s radius. Killian still looks incredibly pained, but hey, she doesn’t look so terrified anymore.

Johann motions up. Can you stand? is the question he asks.

Killian tries, trying to get herself up. Johann offers his free hand, but she initially ignores it. Her hands hover, but refuse to grab on. She loses a little balance, and without warning, Johann takes her hand and yanks her up. Just take it, holy shit. When Killian is stable on her feet (if we can even consider her state stable), she looks down at Johann with an exhausted and even slightly embarrassed look on her face. Understandable.

Johann moves to go help the others, but Killian slaps her hand on his shoulder before he can. She struggles to look him in the eye, but when she does, she pulls a weak smile. Thank you, Killian mouths. For coming. To keep us safe.

Johann takes her hand and nods. Listen next time, assholes, is all he mouths. She laughs, and he just knows if the spell wasn't up, her laugh would be loud and comforting. 

Then, he leads Killian over to the Fangbattle siblings. He watches as she fusses over them in silence, how they slowly help each other up. Johann only breaks his gaze when he goes over towards Hurley, Rowan, and Antonia, who seem worse off, but still alive. That’s all Johann can ask for.

The rush back home is disjointed and painful, but Johann saved them. He saved them. The Starblaster would have another full crew for the rest of the year. And when the crew thanks him and celebrates their near death experience, Johann smiles, knowing they are safe.

#I think this one is my favorite so far #johann appreciation week #Johann #Fics

[avijohann]

The Lover

Day three for @johann-appreciation-week

Please read @crystallizedkingdoms accompanying entry its so 🥺🥺🥺:

#Taz balance #Taz johann #Johann appreciation week #My art