babaeng-iyakin

[babaeng-iyakin]

‘’I loved you before I knew you’’

- Everything,everything.

[babaeng-iyakin]

nhmml

[babaeng-iyakin]

she never changed. she’s still the same girl you met, an outgoing and carefree girl who always had her eyes glued between the pages on one of her favorite books. she’s still the girl who loves the ocean and going to places far from the city she grew up in. she’s still the girl that writes way too often about everything she can think of and loves listening to her favorite bands when she’s alone in her room. she’s still that girl who loved you. and you fell in love with.

but i know that she seems so much like a stranger to you now. she became angry. she became reckless. she turned herself into a tragedy. she felt so empty and it can be the reason why no one ever settled down with her, for nobody wants something that is already empty. but she never blamed you. she never felt regretful for loving you so much. even though you left.

the only problem was that, loving you turned her so afraid. of trying again. of falling in love again.

and so, she hid that girl you once knew. she hid that girl you loved. she did it to protect herself. to protect the few pieces she has for her sanity left. she hid her fragile heart that still longs for you from the cruel universe she’s in. she embraced the person she became and somehow, time has helped her get used to emptiness.

but behind that smile and tired eyes, she is still the same girl. she never left. and oh god, she still cares so much. she just have to act she won’t ever be. anymore.

— she loved too much. and that killed her.

[babaeng-iyakin]

don’t carry that hurt into 2019 or it’s going be another toxic year.

[babaeng-iyakin]

Someone once said to me, “I hope the pain eases soon.” It struck me as the purest blessing that had ever been offered over my head - I hope the pain eases soon. It’s so gentle, so kind, so hopeful. So to everyone who’s hurting: I see how hard you’re trying, and I hope your pain will ease soon.

[babaeng-iyakin]

i love you. i always have, and always will be.

[babaeng-iyakin]

I will always be here for you even if you’re now happy with her. I would still listen and be your friend.

#unsent

[babaeng-iyakin]

I don’t know why we can’t hurt someone we love by leaving them or disappointing them while they can so easily

[babaeng-iyakin]

Hindi naman kasi talaga okay, kaya lang natin sinasabi ‘yun kasi gusto natin maging okay talaga. Gusto natin maging okay na.

[babaeng-iyakin]

did you even love me? or did you just love me because you know that i would accept your flaws and i would love you in your bad days and believe in you when no one else does? did you love me for me or because i was convenient for you?

#did you even love me #unsent

[babaeng-iyakin]

I Died In 2010 and Was Replaced By Someone With Absolutely No Motivation and Complete Emotional Unavailability, a conspiracy thread

[babaeng-iyakin]

and i know life is not fair because it sucks that you already moved on while i am still stuck in my own misery.

[babaeng-iyakin]

[babaeng-iyakin]

“You told me that what we had was good so why did you leave?”

—things i will never send

#unsent #k

[babaeng-iyakin]

i have so many questions to ask but i know it would be pointless to question you about the past. i accepted that some truths will remain blurry in between the lines, that there will always be two sides of the story and maybe even three. but one thing was consistent, both of you told me to never trust anybody so easily. and you taught me that. both of you. so thank you, next.

#unsent #personal #thank you next

[babaeng-iyakin]

nothing good happens after 3 am

[babaeng-iyakin]

hardest thing to learn during recovery is….. some of your misery is your own fault. you have to actively choose to stop wallowing in your own pain & start to recover. that means stop being self deprecating, start taking care of yourself, start eating healthy, start taking your hygiene seriously, even if it’s hard. & it is hard! but you must.