bluesoakedbpd

[bluesoakedbpd]

types of breakdowns (a personal compendium):

the standard, classic, timeless DUDE HOLY FUCK EVERYTHING SUCKS AND I WISH I WAS DEAD 

time to self harm not as a cry for help or some shit but because i fucking deserve to be in pain

everything is making too much noise and  i’m crying and people are yelling and it just makes it worse

breathe in my direction and youre dead to me

bro. bro listen. nothing i experience is meaningful in any way on the cosmic scale. bro, were all going to die and well be reduced to the nothingness that we clawed our way out of. bro? bro?

only one (1) thing has gone wrong but im crying anyway

time to cut off all my friends and remake my personality because the one i have is horrible and i cant keep disappointing people

flashback til i puke! a new hit single

irrational anger & violence

listen im well aware that someone needs to be responding to this situation in some way but youve got the wrong guy. possibly the correct fleshsuit, but the wrong guy

hhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH

feel free to add more

[bluesoakedbpd]

don’t let anyone tell you that your life would be better without medication

don’t let people insinuate that a life without medication is ideal

don’t let people tell you that medications are only for “crazy” people

don’t let people tell you that you can do things without medications when medications are what make it possible for you to do those things

don’t let people tell you that you’re not “healthy” because you take medications

don’t let people insinuate that you are “giving up” by taking medications

don’t let people suggest that your goal should be to completely “recover” and get off your medications

don’t let people say that you’re “not being yourself” because you take meds

don’t let people say that you’ll “be yourself” if you go off your medications

don’t let people insinuate that you are bad for taking medications

You can make your own decisions about your health. Discussions about medications should be between you and your doctor, who I promise is more knowledgeable about this than the average person who is med-shaming.

[bluesoakedbpd]

sometimes i’m so mentally tired that i don’t even want to think about suicide or self-harm, i just want to lay down and wait for death tbh

[bluesoakedbpd]

lets play a game of: did i really do this or did i just think about doing it so hard that i constructed a false memory of it

[bluesoakedbpd]

Someone: Wow you're so easy to talk to! I feel like our personalities fit so well together!

Me: thanks i made this one special just for you

[bluesoakedbpd]

Actually tumblr all my content is sensitive I have a lot of feelings

[bluesoakedbpd]

me: pls talk to me pls !!pls pls!!!

me: *can't hold a conversation*

me: *has nothing interesting to say*

me: *is bad at replying*

me: pls :) talkto me

[bluesoakedbpd]

me: i want to be alone forever, i don’t want ANYONE to contact me, to touch me, to dare even mention my name

also me, at the exact same time: it’s been four minutes since anyone has messaged me and i hate feeling this alone, someone please hold me

[bluesoakedbpd]

[bluesoakedbpd]

someone: *is nice to me*

me: “are you flirting with me? bc i love u now”

#gimme a sec to scream into the void

[bluesoakedbpd]

#sigh #fp

[bluesoakedbpd]

someone: *is nice to me*

me: *starts fantasizing about our future together*

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #people keep being nice to me rn cause i keep crying at school #and i keep getting really attached to them and its ugh

[bluesoakedbpd]

so who else gets irrationally afraid and embarrassed about their interests being known to people in real life

[bluesoakedbpd]

[bluesoakedbpd]

listen,,,,,,, recovery,,,,, won’t, make you neurotypical,,,

[bluesoakedbpd]

thinking about what i was like in high school: god i was such a dramatic little shit

thinking about what i'm like now: god i am such a dramatic little shit

[bluesoakedbpd]

You don’t have to be grateful that it isn’t worse.

#important