blujayonthewing

[blujayonthewing]

the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

[blujayonthewing]

vexed and haunted by this wallpaper that looks like someone took a floral pattern and then an unrelated fish pattern and accidentally overlapped them

#extremely good

[blujayonthewing]

hmmm

[blujayonthewing]

I should be allowed to just say “I adore you” and “I love you” and “I want to keep you in my life for as long as possible” to my friends whenever I want without it being overbearing. I’m thinking it lovingly at people. I’m beaming my overwhelming affection into my friends via undetectable radio waves

[blujayonthewing]

like literally how are you supposed to compliment people’s nudes. i end up saying shit like “glorious” and “marvelous” and “contender for one of the natural wonders of the world”

#is that not how you do it

[blujayonthewing]

what do you meaaaaaaan this is baby sturgeons youre lying to me.... you just Shrunk him

[blujayonthewing]

New favorite delightful freak discovered

[blujayonthewing]

Honestly MAJOR missed opportunity for Karlach to have some kind of permanent 'buff' that deals minor fire damage to anyone who touches her in melee. Like obviously it'd be strong for fighting beasts, because every time they hit her with claws/fangs they take damage, but just from a STORY-TELLING ASPECT?

How heartbreaking would it be when you're trying to cast Cure Wounds on her? In order to heal her, you have to hurt yourself and she KNOWS IT. You go to cast Longstrider on the party and you hesitate as you reach Karlach. Yeah, it's only a few points of damage, it's not that big a deal, but does she REALLY need it? Is it worth it?

You linger, hesitate. You realize you don't want to touch her. You realize that's what EVERYONE thinks when they see her. You realize she KNOWS You're hesitating, staring at her sheepishly as you try to think of whether or not it's worth the pain just to help her.

You learn to support her from a distance. Healing Word. It's not as effective, but you don't need to get hurt for her sake. And so she learns to get used to receiving help from a distance. Just words of encouragement. It's all anyone wants to give her. Maybe it's all she'll ever get.

Aid? Bardic Inspiration? You don't need to touch her to give it to her. You can keep her at a distance and not get burned. And you're still helping her.

It's just... cold.

#aauuughh... #you're so right op

[blujayonthewing]

crying laughing at the reveal that the party used to routinely rob senshi

[blujayonthewing]

I actually can't believe they didn't add ability to pet horses and dogs to tears of the kingdom

#'you can build a monster truck' I wanna PET! my HORSE!! I want to KISS HER NOSE #SCOUNDRELS. VILLAINS

[blujayonthewing]

#if anyone ever misspelled jay OR jessica I'd honestly just be impressed #how did you manage that

[blujayonthewing]

i think a loving thing u can do for yourself before a solo trip is to have a line item in ur budget, as critical and untouchable as Plane Tickets and Lodging, called Stupid. this money cannot be used for anything other than bailing u out of stupid situations

[blujayonthewing]

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

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As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

[blujayonthewing]

i can feel something moving in my eye. can you see it?

[blujayonthewing]

#blast fishing #although I don't have shock arrows yet in this playthrough which is my preferred method of 'fuck all them fish'ing

[blujayonthewing]

#OH I see.

[blujayonthewing]

#[steeples fingers] I'm only counting two I think #I am really close friends now with three brothers who also went to high school with me #but I wasn't friends with any of them when we were IN high school (and I'm not even sure if I knew chris existed at the time? older than me) #justin is one of the two who counts (and the other was in the wedding party 🥰) but actually we also weren't really close in high school #same friend group but that was it #about me #husband