caffienateddisaster

[caffienateddisaster]

Hi hello I have not decided where I am with recovery and relapse right now, hence the inactivity, but I will keep y’all updated

[caffienateddisaster]

do you go to therapy?

no i just imagine what a therapist would say in my head whenever im feeling fucked up

[caffienateddisaster]

Absolutely devastated that the lemon meringue no cow bar I brought to get me through an 8 hour shift tastes repulsive. Anyone have any recommendations that are better?

#notpro4n4 #eating problems #disordered eating thoughts #4na tw #ana vent #eating diary #ed but not sheeran #tw ed vent #edbllr #ana foods #tw ed relapse #tw eating issues #i want to be weightless

[caffienateddisaster]

Sometimes when I’m in the mood to consume ED media I’ll watch the survival show Alone bc they talk about weight loss/burning calories/starvation SO much

#notpro4n4 #disordered eating thoughts #eating problems #4na tw #ana vent #eating diary #ed but not sheeran #tw ed vent #edbllr #ana foods #4na meme #tw ed relapse #tw eating issues #i want to be weightless

[caffienateddisaster]

neurotypicals always say like "oh don't play dumb you know what im talking about/what you did/etc" you misunderstand. i have no idea about anything ever. please explain actually

[caffienateddisaster]

maybe im not meant to be okay

[caffienateddisaster]

every morning i wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made

[caffienateddisaster]

My family went out to dinner and I actually ate and finished a whole ass fucking restaurant meal because I was feeling really good and like I deserved it and then my stepmom spent the whole car ride home telling me about I’m spoiled and entitled and she resents the money and time and effort spent on the exciting things I have coming up in my life and now I’m pacing around in my room waiting for her to come yell at me some more and I wish I hadn’t fucking ate anything at all.

#4na tw #ana vent #notpro4n4 #eating problems #disordered eating thoughts #eating diary #ed but not sheeran #tw ed vent #edbllr #ana foods #tw ed relapse #i want to be weightless #tw eating issues

[caffienateddisaster]

I saw this on Reddit earlier and felt it to my very core

#notpro4n4 #eating problems #disordered eating thoughts #4na tw #ana vent #eating diary #ed but not sheeran #tw ed vent #edbllr #ana foods #4na meme #tw ed relapse #ana problems

[caffienateddisaster]

No matter what, I was not about to make the little girl I babysit feel bad for eating pizza. I took the two smallest pieces, and when she wasn’t looking, dabbed off the grease and threw the crusts in the trash. Do I feel like trash? For sure. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I hope this wonderful little girl never feels the kind of things that I feel.

#eating problems #notpro4n4 #disordered eating thoughts #4na tw #ana vent #eating diary #tw ed vent #ed but not sheeran #4na meme #edbllr #ana foods #tw ed relapse

[caffienateddisaster]

YALL this sounds exactly like having an ED

#eating problems #notpro4n4 #disordered eating thoughts #ana vent #4na tw #tw ed vent #ed but not sheeran #eating diary #4na meme #edbllr #ana foods #tw ed relapse

[caffienateddisaster]

[caffienateddisaster]

girls just wanna have fun (hide away in their bedrooms with piles of books until further notice)

[caffienateddisaster]

Omg I do this all the time

Have yall dreamed about you eating and wake up panicking thinking you ate that irl???

Or just me

Like today I had a dream I ate 2 Hot Dogs with bbq sauce and Mayo

[caffienateddisaster]

[caffienateddisaster]

[caffienateddisaster]

Seasoning calories don’t count. For real, you don’t want to be in exposure therapy in a few years because you’re too scared of Nutmeg.

#eating problems #notpro4n4 #disordered eating thoughts #4na tw #ana vent #tw ed vent #eating diary #ed but not sheeran #edbllr #ana foods #tw ed relapse