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So fucking tired of this bullshit every day

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Not tc-related

But read if you want

Cw ? - loss

Sometimes I’ll find poignant captions online that sound like they were supposed to be written about my mum. I lost her two years ago and it never gets any easier. I will never see or hug my best friend ever again.

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“My mum was the only guardian I ever needed. There was no action, word, or experience that could rob me of the refuge she provided me.”

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I wish I could’ve written that. Feels like the prologue to some post-apocalyptic novel, talking about a peaceful and harmonious time, so long ago, and so different from the dismal current day that it feels like a myth

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Maybe that’s why I’m so stuck. I was lucky enough to experience something almost too good to be true, and now I’m stuck in a reality - that I created - where that feels impossible to recreate. Maybe I took the power of harmony for granted because when my mum was here, I never lacked it. I only ever relied, never learned

#tc blog #tc #tcc #tcc blog

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I love how this meme was made with the idea of h8ing teachers but I feel like it fits much better in a community of deranged teenagers screaming crying ripping their hair out because they’re actually OBSESSED with their teachers

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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Having impeccable taste in men means you’ll never catch them spying on your Instagram, or get a random email asking how you’re doing these days, because they’re too stable and smart and sensible to go down that path; the same thing that draws me to him

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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“I wonder how his day was”

“I wonder what he taught in class today”

“I wonder what made him chuckle today”

Every single day without fail

And I will never get an answer.

Will never hear his voice again and somehow it gets impossibly more painful every day

Someone very very close to me, a literal fucking angel amongst humans, died 2 years ago - and this pain is comparable.

Infatuation is so unimaginably destructive

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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You ever miss someone so much that it physically hurts?

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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3 years. 3 years ago I made the fatal mistake of looking at him for a second too long and thinking “shit… do I …. Care?? About this man??”

And just like that, I signed myself up for a permanent state of desperate longing and heartbreak. Too fucking easy

Imagine being fucked for three years straight. It’s not as pleasant as it might sound to some of you animals

Jokes aside I am so disappointed in myself and the only person I want to admit that to is him. I worked so hard to make sure he only ever saw my successes, so why do I dream of disappointing him by unloading all of this on him?

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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I dreamt about him for the first time in a while.

Christ I miss that man with every fibre of my being

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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I avoided what would have been short-lived shame, so that I could live a lifetime of regret and longing. What a stupid girl

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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I trusted that time would heal, and it never did. And I think that’s how it will always be. Like I’m stuck at the end of a book and just slowly living through those blank, empty pages at the back. There was somebody important in my life and I just watched as they slipped through the net of time. And now I will never sit in the same room as them ever again

I should have taken the risk of humiliation because this is so much worse

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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I’ve forgotten the sound of his voice and I miss him more than ever and I’m too desperate to try and put it poetically anymore

I wish I could see him

I wonder if he has any idea how much of a gap he has left in my heart

I think I will miss him until the day I die

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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#tc #tc blog #tcc #male tc #tcc blog

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I think I’ve reached a point now where I can say this has fucked my brain and ruined my life in a way that can’t be undone

I realise I’ll never get what I want but it looks like I’ll never stop wanting it regardless

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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The pain is starting to get unbearable 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻💯💯💯💯💯💯

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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He is still the person I think of when I see images like these

It is agonisingly nonsensical because I’ve never had the chance to really know him. But something in my mind pleads for us to walk alone together, aimless. No matter where, I’d be safe

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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Mf got away with my broken heart in his back pocket and he’s probably forgotten I exist

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher

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The chaos of life is so loud right now and I still think about him every day

#tc blog #tc #male tc #tcc #tcc blog #teacher crush #tc community #tc crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher