connorbrownbakes

[connorbrownbakes]

Baking Show Things

Introducing this year’s bakers:

Connor:

London-based Connor is this year’s youngest baker at only 19. Once fond of experimenting with potions-making, Connor discovered an even greater passion for experimenting with bakes in the Hogwarts kitchens at 15. When he isn’t baking for his family and friends, Connor enjoys gardening, muggle films, and princess tea parties with his niece and his newly adopted cat, Leia. (Note: Gardening = weed lmao)

Connor gives interview about Quidditch Week 

“I’m actually terrified of heights. So even watching quidditch from up in the stands at school was a bit horrifying, never mind being on a broomstick,” he admitted with a sheepish chuckle. “Last time I went on one was ‘cause I had this stupid crush on someone who’s really into flying, thought I’d impress them by getting lessons but ended up just eating dirt in front of ‘em,” he added on, because he was Connor and he couldn’t seem to shut up even when talking to an interviewer who was gonna put this on the wireless and into the weekly bake off magazine and people were apparently interested enough in him that they’d probably hear it. “Wow, I wish I hadn’t just told you that,” he said with a flustered chuckle. “Anyways, hopefully this bake goes better than that. I’m doing a, er, combination of quidditch-inspired macarons. We’ve got strawberry rhubarb quaffles, dark chocolate coffee bludgers, and lemon snitches. Might’ve bit off a bit more than I can chew but if I can pull it off how I practiced I think they’ll turn out nice. I’m mostly worried about having enough time to do the decoration.” 

(This is like week 3 or 4 I’d guess. Connor already getting sort of a following for being cute and unsure of himself and then his bakes being at the top, and here’s where all the girls in London decide they want him to date them lmao)

Bread Week Interview:

Connor gets asked what inspired his signature bake (savory focaccia with herbs, tomato, and olives). 

“I just got into breads more recently, actually. I mean, I’ve always enjoyed making a good loaf of sourdough or some good rolls, but I just recently started experimenting more with adding different flavors to my breads. I was actually inspired from a uh--” Connor barely managed to stop himself from saying it was someone he fancied, which would have been an even bigger disaster after quidditch week. He’d sound like some lovestruck loser if all his bakes were inspired by some bloke he had a crush on, that everyone assumed was some bird he had a crush on. At least there was that. “A friend who told me bread was just empty calories,” he said, hoping he just seemed nervous because of the baking competition. “Wanted to prove there could be some more sustenance to it, ya know? So I did some experimenting and stumbled onto this combination that I think works really nicely. Hopefully the judges like it.” (Insert Connor getting teased about still not being confident the judges will like his bakes). 

(I feel like this one leads to mass speculation about whether Connor has a gf xP)

VARIOUS OTHER CLIPS:

- Connor joking around with the sweet old ladies who clearly love him, by the end of the season he’s showing up to the tent in jumpers they knitted for him (they bring out your eyes, Connor!). The most embarrassing is the week after he wins star baker he shows up in a hand-knitted jumper with a big star on it, clearly embarrassed, and the hosts ask about it and Connor says “Gladys made me this lovely jumper to congratulate me on last week. I was surprised by how fast she made it.” Gladys chimes in like “I’ve been working on it for weeks, dear, I knew it was only a matter of time before you won star baker.” Connor: “Gladys you’re just too sweet to me, look how nice this jumper is. Gladys has offered to teach me to make my own after this.” (Connor showing it to the cameras, and photos of him in that jumper def are highlighted in the accompanying photos/magazine lol). Gladys: “If you have time, what with all the ladies you’ll be busy with after.” Gladys winks at the camera and Connor blushes again. “I swear you women here are more invested in my love life than my own grandmother! Hi gran, I love you,” he adds with a smile and a wave at the camera. 

- There is for sure a week where his showstopper bake is princess tea-party themed (maybe biscuit week? where they have to make structured cookies and he does like a cookie princess dollhouse) inspired by Kit and she gets a shout-out. “I promised my niece Kit I’d do a bake just for her, and this is it. I also promised my brother I’d tell her she can’t eat any of the practice bakes I gave her before bed, so--hear that, Kit? No cookies before bed in view of your dad.” Cue a mischievous grin and wink at the camera for Kit. 

- Connor comforting the other bakers when things don’t go well and helping them out where he can

- Connor being SO NERVOUS about EVERY BAKE even when he’s done and it’s sitting there looking wonderful and the judges give him consistently positive feedback. 

- Connor winning star baker and being absolutely floored and then an interview saying he still can’t believe he won it and how great all the other bakers did and he just hopes he can keep baking this well.

- Connor def becomes one of the hosts’ favorite contestants to go talk to and tease with bc he always starts rambling but he never gets mad about it and just laughs at himself

- He def gets asked about his love life (teasingly) by one of the hosts once he starts getting talked about. “So Connor, we hear your success on the show so far may also be helping your love life, anything you want to say to all your admirers out there?” Connor turns bright red, much to the host’s delight, and answers something like “Er, still not much of a love life over here, but I um, appreciate all the support. I mean it’s really nice that um, people seem to like me and like what I’m doing here. I don’t think I’m really doing anything all that special. I’m just happy to be here. Think I’m just trying to focus on my baking right now, you know?”  

Host: “So no word from your quidditch cutie?” 

Connor: Turns an even brighter shade of red and lets out a nervous laugh, probably drops the cookie he’s frosting. “I--no, uh no word. I don’t think they even watch this show, which is probably for the best. I mean, don’t need to be reminding them of the time I fell off a broom in front of them, do I? Think it’s a lost cause, anyway.” (more nervous laughter and the host takes pity)

Host: Now, now, chin up Connor! Everyone in this tent can see how lovely you are, anyone who can’t isn’t worth your time, are they? Barbara, don’t you have a granddaughter who wants to meet this dashing young man?” 

Barbara (sweet old lady): Oh, Connor already knows about my big plans to introduce him to my grandbaby once we’re done baking. 

(More blushing from Connor as Barbara gives him a cheeky wink because grandbaby absolutely means grandson but she obv won’t say that on air)

Connor (to the host): Barbara already knows I can’t say no to her, so I guess I’ll be going on a blind date after this. (More flustered laughing). 

(And the baking show fan world melts down bc how dare barbara’s dumbass granddaughter get dibs on Connor lmao). 

- Finally Connor end in final 3, coming in second (to either Barbara or Gladys who had just done wonderfully the whole time and has been lovely to everyone and Connor’s so pleased for her). Connor’s end interview just like: “I’m just absolutely chuffed for Barbara, she’s an impeccable baker and she really nailed this last set of bakes. Of course it’s a bit disappointing not to win, isn’t it, but at the beginning I just kept thinking I was about to be sent home every week and now here I am at the top three, it’s amazing. This has been such a lovely experience and I’m so pleased I got to meet all these fantastic bakers and compete with them and learn from them. I’ve made lifelong friendships here and I’ve grown a lot as a baker, don’t think there’s much more I could ask for than that is there?” 

#hc #baking show #bake off #idk just a lil collection of snippets for when connor is on the baking show xD

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

“Well you got oblivious right,” Ethan told him with  a chuckle. It was crazy to think Connor had been thinking this whole time that Ian was the one with the crush when it was the opposite. Especially since he’d never even met Ian or seen him. Which was probably how he got it all wrong. Ethan’s fancy probably showed but Connor hadn’t realized that’s what was happening. The logic made sense to his high mind. What he wasn’t sure made sense was him trying to tell Connor about Ian. “He has a private tutor but that’s it, no school, not even when he was younger. Not sure he even knew people outside his family till he was old enough to work. Aside from I guess his mum’s shitty boyfriends.” Ethan was’t clear on all the details because he never pressed and Ian had only given details the other night. But so far that’s what it seemed. Which he could see how that was giving Connor the impression Ian was weird. “Nah, not weird. Just a little different,” he was quick to correct though with no defensiveness. He didn’t think Connor was calling Ian weird to be mean. And he could see what Connor meant. Both Ian and Oliver could  be seen as weird it seemed. Oliver especially in Ethan’s opinion. Who practically went all the way with a bloke but didn’t’ wanna date them? Not to mention the awkward compliment about how good Connor was that he’d wedged in between freaking out and leaving. Very weird if you asked Ethan. He laughed along with Connor when the other said he wasn’t expecting it either. “Yeah, sounds like a dick,” he agreed only partially teasing. He understood Connor’s annoyance because there were things in there that felt like Oliver had lead him on which was’t cool. “So you didn’t fancy him in school,” Ethan asked because he’d been wondering and what Connor said about the pub seemed to answer that. He wasn’t sure how to take the news that Connor had decided to get a pet instead of a bloke. It almost seemed like a joke except it apparently wasn’t. “Yeah, dogs take a lot of time I think. They’re fun though. You could always try to convince Jacob that Kit needs one and then go play with it.” That seemed like the best way to get a dog. But a cat didn’t sound too bad either. “My pops lets stray cats sleep in the garage, says it keeps the mice away. Some of them are sort of nice. Mostly they’re skittish. One was an absolute arse. Would hiss and spit whenever anyone so much as looked at it. I’m sure pet ones are probably less feral. I’d guess anyway.” Being high the idea of people just locking feral cats in their houses and living with a pissed off ball of fur was amusing.

Connor laughed at Ethan’s joke about being oblivious. Apparently Connor had been oblivious too, thinking Ian had a crush on Ethan and not noticing his best mate was crushing on the bloke. The bloke who apparently hadn’t gone to school at all, and as Ethan explained Connor’s brows pulled together. Hang on. That sounded familiar. In fact, he probably should have thought of Mac when Ethan said Ian didn’t go to school, if only because he shouldn’t have been so surprised someone didn’t go to Hogwarts, since it apparently it happened. Connor was going to blame the weed for not making that connection sooner. In fact, Connor was pretty sure Mac hadn’t known anyone other than his family either before the Order. He was an odd bloke, but a good bloke. Different, as Ethan was quick to say Ian was, rather than weird. Connor wasn’t sure about that detail about his mum’s shitty boyfriends, but there was enough there he had to ask. “Hang on. Does Ian have, like, a lot of siblings?” Connor wasn’t actually sure how many siblings Mac had, but he knew a couple other things. “And does one of them, the oldest one I think, play quidditch? Or is another one of the brothers named Mac? ‘Cause I know this bloke named Mac from the Order and he also didn’t go to school and has private tutors and a ton of siblings, and he’s a little bit odd but not in a bad way.” It seemed sort of wild to think Ethan might be crushing on one of Mac’s brothers though. But the wizarding world was pretty small.... 

It was a shame it wasn’t small enough for Ethan to actually know Oliver outside of them both knowing him from school. He frowned when Ethan called Oliver a dick. Connor wasn’t sure he agreed that Oliver was a dick, even if he’d sort of been one that morning. But Connor also wasn’t sure Oliver had really thought about his feelings at all. Which maybe wasn’t fair, because it wasn’t like Oliver had planned to hook up with Connor that night anymore that Connor had planned to. But once the hooking up had started, Connor had been thinking it meant Oliver liked him back, that all the confusing mixed signals had actually been signaling Oliver fancied him. Instead they’d just been mixed signals, and Connor was an overly optimistic idiot. And knowing that Oliver had seemed to regret everything just made him feel sort of gross about it all. “Yeah, maybe a bit,” he agreed glumly. Fortunately he was distracted by that with Ethan’s next question. “What? No!” Connor answered with a surprised laugh when Ethan asked if he’d fancied Oliver back at school. “I mean, did I notice how good he looked in his quidditch uniform? Obviously,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “But not more than any of the other hot quidditch players,” he added with a chuckle. “I didn’t properly fancy him, you know?” There was a difference, in Connor’s opinion, between thinking someone was hot and fancying them. If only he just thought Oliver was hot still. He just had to get over it. Keep to himself, keep away from blokes, and get a nice pet to keep him company. He laughed at Ethan’s suggestion that he convince Jacob to get a dog for Kit. “Funny you say that, ‘cause Jacob already told me I better not give Kit any ideas about wanting a pet,” he said with a chuckle. He laughed again when Ethan described the various garage cats his dad let in. “It’d be just my luck to get a cat who’s an arse, wouldn’t it?”

#ethan #lmk if the mac stuff doesn't work! #i figure they'd know about cal or at least that mac has a quidditch playe rin the fam #idt if connor even remembers who/for what team lol #actually no he def remembers it's one of oli's teammates but his attention is fully on oli so cal is just a rando teammate lol #but anyways he'd just have been like wow that's wild ....so anyways

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Ethan waved away Connor’s sorry with half a biscuit. “My fault. I didn’t think there was much to talk about.” Connor had gotten naked with his bloke. Ethan had just held Ian’s hand. A big thing for him but hardly a comparison. It was a shock to hear that Connor had thought Ian fancied him. “You did?” He did’t have to ask why because Connor had already said it. But it was still surprising to find out that Connor had thought that. He’d had it backwards clearly. “But, nah. Ian’s just…. different.” It was tricky knowing what he could say about Ian and what Ian might not want him to repeat. But this was Connor and it wasn’t like he was going to go around gossiping about Ian. Even if Ian hadn’t been some bloke he’d never met he wouldn’t do that. “He didn’t go to school and I don’t think he’s got a lot of mates. He sort of just doesn’t know how people act. I mean he’s great and a lot of fun,” Ethan added in case he was making Ian sound like some weirdo. “He just doesn’t always get things like we do, I guess.” Like how Ethan had to tell him holding hands was’t really something mates did when sitting on the sofa watching a film. It was a little hard to explain and Ethan wasn’t sure if that was because of the weed or just how complicated it all was. Just like how complicated gay blokes seemed to be. But at least that was something he and Connor could laugh about. He laughed at Conner’s reaction to the reminder of how he’d thought Connor and Hestia were dating. “Mate, I don’t even know what my type is how would I figured out what your type is? Couldn’t even guess what it was in a bloke let alone a bird because I was not expecting it to be Oliver Ryan.” That was still a very large shock even without the getting naked bit. “I mean he’s for sure fit but that’s literally all I know about him.” Not entirely true but despite the well deserved, from what he experienced, reputation of Slytherins he figured that didn’t count. Because there was no way Connor would be getting naked with one of those arses no matter how fit they were. He felt bad for bringing up getting it on. “Sorry mate. But you did get further than I’ve ever been, that’s something.” Or maybe not. Clearly what happened was shitty and probably ruined the whole thing. But he’d also practically gone all the way with the bloke he was fancying, that felt huge to a bloke who had gotten shot down by his crush. Ethan laughed before stopping himself when he realized Connor was serous about hte pet. “Wait, for real? What kind?” The closest Ethan had ever gotten to a pet was when old man Jones let him walk his dogs after he’d gotten too old to do it. His parents hadn’t let him take the money the man had offered him but it was still sort of fun walking them. Wasn’t a fan of cleaning up after but that was the only bad part.

“Yeah, I really did! When you brought him up I would sit here and think, ‘wow that poor bloke is crushing on Ethan and Ethan’s straight and oblivious,’” Connor answered with a laugh at Ethan’s surprise that Connor had thought Ian fancied Ethan. He still wasn’t convinced he’d been wrong. Connor’s brows pulled together when Ethan explained that this Ian bloke that he fancied was different in a way that meant he didn’t have a lot of friends and didn’t know how people acted. That was...well. Despite Ethan’s insistence the bloke was great and fun, Connor couldn’t help but wonder if Ian was sort of weird. It was sounding like he was sort of weird. Was Ethan into weird? And also, “Hang on.” Connor said, brows furrowing more. “What do you mean he didn’t go to school?” Connor knew Ian hadn’t gone to Hogwarts, but he must have gone to muggle school or something. Only Ethan wouldn’t have said someone who went to muggle school didn’t go to school. It didn’t seem like the bloke had gone to one of the international schools though. Connor was confused. “Also even if he doesn’t get how people do things, it still seemed like he fancied you. Maybe he’s just weird.” Connor said with a shrug, the weed stopping him from realizing maybe he shouldn’t have said that last part out loud. The bloke did seem weird, though. Not that Connor could talk, because talking to Ethan had made Connor realize he’d been crushing on a weird bloke himself. He laughed at Ethan’s comments about not knowing either of their types. “I clearly didn’t know my type either because I wasn’t expecting that one either!” He answered with another laugh. It was ridiculous really. A Slytherin quidditch player he’d never talked to at school? Completely unexpected. “I just thought he was hot ‘til he had to start coming ‘round the pub all the time being all different than he was at school, acting all cute and nice with the Tookers and smiling at me and then talking to me...” Connor groaned. “I’m so annoyed at him for making me fancy him!” Which was a stupid sentiment, probably, but Connor was high enough to say it out loud, and it was true. He was annoyed Oliver made him fancy him and made him think Oliver fancied him back and then did all the shit and then ran away from him. “I guess,” Connor agreed halfheartedly when Ethan pointed out that at least he got some action. He wasn’t sure if getting some action made things better or worse. Probably neither. He laughed at Ethan’s laughter, even though he was serious about a pet. “Yes for real!” It had been a whim when he brought it up to Jacob, but the idea of having a pet had stuck. He liked the idea of having something that was happy to see him after a long day at the pub, and especially after a long Order mission. “I was thinking a dog at first, but I probably don’t have enough free time for a dog. So I think a cat, if I can find a friendly one.” 

#ethan #i am hanging in here on the end of a crazy busy week #hope you're doing okay too <3

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Ethan chuckled sheepishly and took the biscuit. “Thanks. I think I’m fucking up my high,” he told Connor still feeling sheepish. Boy troubles were’t something Ethan was used to. A little bit when it came to Connor having them but not much on that side of things either. This was all new and way too stressful. He needed to calm down and just enjoy the weed, the biscuits, and their pizza. Sadly he hadn’t been smart like Connor and got all the bloke stuff out of the way before getting high so focusing on the food and weed probably wasn’t gonna happen. He couldn’t blame Connor fro being curious. He would have too in Connor’s place. He was, actually, still very curious about Connor and Oliver. Ethan smiled when Connor told him good for him for telling Ian he was gay. It was nice to have it out there and not be worried about Ian’s reaction anymore. Even if it hadn’t turned out well. Or the way he’d have liked anyway. Ethan found himself chuckling again when Connor said Oliver was confusing was hell. “Starting to think it’s not just an Oliver trait,” he told Connor. Ian was also confusing as hell. Only he didn’t know if that was true or if he was just that bad at reading things. It really was starting to feel like they were just bad at being gay. Despite how sort of depressing that thought was he laughed when Connor joined in on why they couldn’t tell. “Right, it’s gotta be it because how could we not know?” After all Connor knew loads of stuff about him, more than any of his other mates. Probably everything there was to know about him, well now that he also knew Ethan was gay. That had always been the one thing Connor hadn’t known. “I’m so bad at knowing I even thought you were dating Hestia,” he added. Because he’d been sure they were. Just didn’t understand why Connor hadn’t told him. Which he knew now was because Connor was not dating her and instead fancied a quidditch player of all things. “Instead you’re out getting it on with a professional quidditch player. Never would have guessed that.” The weed made him a lot more likely to say things he might not have otherwise. But really, despite how awkward it had turned out, Connor had still gotten it on with a professional athlete which was worlds away from dating the bird they listened to the baking show with. A lot of worlds.

“Yeah. Maybe we should have talked about your bloke problems then got high about it,” Connor said with a slight frown. “Sorry, mate.” Weed was great, but it didn’t mix well with everything. Like complicated bloke problems. At least Ethan didn’t have to worry about Ian not knowing he was gay and wondering if Ian was gay. Which Connor knew from experience only very slightly softened the blow of the bloke not being interested. In some ways it felt worse knowing a gay bloke wasn’t interested. Or whatever the fuck Oliver’s deal was, Connor had no idea anymore. He laughed when Ethan pointed out maybe that wasn’t just an Oliver trait. “Maybe not! I mean, I know I never met that Ian bloke but I was certain he fancied you even before I knew either of you was gay. I mean, you’re great mate, and anyone in their right mind would wanna come hang out with ya, but some random bloke you meet just keeps showing up at your shop to hang out and then he starts bringing you stuff all the time? The fuck was he doing if he doesn’t fancy you?” Connor shook his head. It didn’t make sense. Blokes didn’t make sense, clearly. Or maybe it really was just Connor and Ethan who were the problem, who were doing something horribly wrong when it came to being gay blokes. He couldn’t help but keep laughing at the fact they hadn’t even know each other way gay. All those years of hiding it from each other could have been years they spent trying to help each other figure out to be gay correctly so maybe they’d both have boyfriends by now instead of both having confusing bloke problems. He laughed louder when Ethan reminded him he’d thought Connor was dating Hestia. “I can’t believe you thought that!” He answered through his laughter. “You really think she’d be my type?” He couldn’t help asking, not insulted at all because Hes was great, but more curious given how different she was from Oliver. Who was apparently his type. Professional quidditch player was his type. Connor couldn’t help but laugh at that, at the way Ethan said it, the sheer ridiculousness of the fact that Connor had gotten it on with a professional quidditch player. That was not a thing that felt like it ever should have happened to Connor. It felt like a weird fever dream. An impossibility. “Yeah, me either mate,” he agreed, because he sure wouldn’t have expected it. “I was getting it on with a professional quidditch player,” he commented after a  moment. It was a depressing but important distinction. “Not getting it on with anyone now,” he added with a sigh. Fuck. That was depressing. Connor wanted to go back to laughing. Instead he reached for a slice of pizza. “I’ve decided I’m getting a pet. Maybe you should get one too.”

#ethan #idk waht this mess is but they're high so xP #they're killing me lmao

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

“It was just picturing Ian doing it, cause he had his bike with him and I dunno, just a funny image,” Ethan added trying to explain. He felt like a dick for looking like he was laughing at Connor. Or at least as much of one as he could right then. Truthfully though between that and talking about Ian it was hard to stay relaxed and enjoy his high. It was weird to think about how he and Connor were both crushing on blokes the other didn’t know. Sure he knew who Oliver was but he didn’t know Oliver. Not that they hadn’t met people since graduating but for the most part they knew most of the same people. He would’t mind Ian and Connor meeting. But it was’t like he or Connor were party throwers or did anything that would bring people together. He’d talked about the baking show with Ian, maybe he and Connor would meet then since he usually listened to it with Connor and Hestia. Connor’s question pushed that train of thought out and he found himself chuckling again. Because holding hands during Indiana Jones was striking him as very funny right then. “Yep.” And laughed some more at the idea of Ian doing the same thing to him as he’d done to Connor. “Really. I get better how you felt cause I was fucking nervous I tell ya and then he was all me too.” Truthfully he had been nervous to tell Connor too. Not because of Connor’s reaction but because he’d never said it before. But that was no where near as nervous as he’d been about telling Ian. He frowned when Connor asked why Ian didn’t want to date. Wasn’t sure how much of what Ian told him he should rightfully repeat. “Mostly sounded like he had a bad idea of dating. His mum’s single and I guess she dates shitty blokes but I dunno, seems like it’s more complicated than that.” Ethan was stil lconfused on it all truthfully. Connor’s ‘wait’ startled him. Moment? Oh right the moment. “That was the next morning. But I think I misread it,” he said feeling embarrassed about even bringing it up. A blunted embarrassed but still embarrassed. Certainly seemed like they were doing this wrong. Ethan started laughing along with Connor over that. “Right? I mean we did’t even know each other was gay.” Clearly there was something missing. Especially since they were both catching weird signals from the blokes they fancied. Maybe it wasn’t the blokes but them. A thought that felt funny right then.

“It’s really okay, mate,” Connor said with a laugh when Ethan started explaining what he’d been thinking when he laughed at Connor’s comment. “Here, have a biscuit,” he added, picking up the box of biscuits he’d brought and offering it to Ethan. Weed and biscuits were definitely needed given all the bloke stuff both of them were apparently going through. With blokes the other didn’t know, and that just made it harder to help get a read on situations and what to make of them. Connor had been sort of curious about Ethan’s new mate ever since Ethan mentioned the bloke kept showing up brining him stuff to fix--surely a sign he fancied Ethan, at least Connor thought so at the time--and now he really wanted to meet the bloke. He laughed when Ethan did when he confirmed they’d held hands during Indiana Jones. That sounded like a damn nice date, if you asked Connor, only unfortunately it apparently hadn’t been a date. Only after what happened with Oliver, Connor was less willing to accept the hand holding was just mate stuff. But it would help if he knew Ian, and he didn’t. He laughed again at the fact Ethan got to experience Connor’s side of telling Ethan he was gay. Only neither Connor nor Ethan fancied each other, so it there hadn’t been any other hopes or expectations there--just wanted his mate to know the truth, and very pleasant surprise at learning it was something they had in common. “Good for you for telling him,” Connor added, after he laughed, because even if it hadn’t gone quite how Ethan wanted it, he’d still done it. And while it could have gone better, with Ian saying not just that he was gay but that he fancied Ethan, at least it had gone well in terms of coming out to a bloke. He frowned when Ethan explained more of what happened. Ian had a bad idea of dating? Because of his mum? That seemed weird. Not necessarily in a way that made Ian weird, but something was weird there. It did sound complicated, or at least complicated enough Ethan couldn’t seem to make sense of it and he’d been there. He lifted an eyebrow when Ethan said there was a moment the next morning. After Ian held Ethan’s hand and said he was also gay but apparently had a bad idea of dating and then spent the night on Ethan’s couch. “Hm.” He said when Ethan said he misread it. “Maybe. I dunno, I thought I misread a lot of things with Oliver but turns out I was right and he’s just confusing as hell,” he pointed out. Ian being as confusing as Oliver wasn’t exactly helpful though. Maybe the problem wasn’t Oliver or Ian, maybe it really was just Ethan and Connor didn’t know how to be gay. He found himself laughing even harder as Ethan joined in. “Right!” He said with another laugh when Ethan pointed out the obvious, they hadn’t even known their best mate was also gay. “Maybe we couldn’t tell because we’re both doing it so wrong.” 

#ethan #these #lmao yep they will #ETHAN I CAN'T HAHAHA #he kind of did except ian was too scared to make out with him tragic xP #also him still thinking he wants ian and connor to meet so cute

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

“Nah man, it blows. If I was sober I wouldn’t have laughed. I just got this image in my head…” Ethan trailed off because if he started thinking about it he probably would laugh again. Which given what they were talking about he absolutely should’t be laughing. That had sucked when Oliver had done it to Connor. Basically twice now. What a dick. All of that faded quickly thanks to the growing buzz he was getting. But that wasn’t helping talking things over. Not that he thought talking things over would clear anything up. Blokes were confusing as hell. There was probably no clearing things up. Better to just be high and let it go. Ethan was surprised by the reaction his words got from Connor. Had he said they held hands? Yeah, he did, that’s right, cause they had. And it had been confusing. Ethan listened as Connor reminded him of what Oliver had done. “Oh fuck, you think he wants to foo around?” That did’t sound right to Ethan, but maybe there was some gay code that he and Connor didn’t know about. But right, what had happened with Ian. What had happened? “You mean the hand holding?” Cause there was a lot and not much that had happened actually. “He got startled at the film and grabbed my hand. And then he didn’t let go and I didn’t let go. So we’re just sitting there watching Indiana Jones battle nazies holding hands.” It was so bloody weird to say. “and then I’m sitting there trying to figure out if straight blokes hold hands because it wasn’t like he was feeling me up like Oliver did you.” Which felt like a important distinction even high. “I can’t remember why we got to talking about dating but we were and I tried to be vague about it but I couldn’t tell if he was flirting or what was happening. So I told him I was gay.” Absolutely terrifying, but the weed blunted all of that. “And then does the same thing I dd to you and is like me too.” Ethan laughed because it felt funny that it had been the reverse of him and Connor. The only similarity but a funny one. “But he’s not interested in dating.” The most disappointing ending ever. “Are we just doing this gay thing wrong or what,” he asked knowing Connor wouldn’t know. That’s what it felt like.

“One of us might as well get a laugh out of it,” Connor said, giving Ethan a grin. He appreciated Ethan’s words, but he didn’t mind whatever image popped into Ethan’s high brain that made him laugh. Connor was kind of curious, but he figured it was probably better not to ask since that was still a sensitive topic and it was very possible even high he wouldn’t find it as amusing as Ethan did, whatever it was. And it seemed Ethan was having bloke problems of his own. Connor frowned when Ethan asked if the hand holding meant Ian wanted to fool around. That hadn’t been exactly what Connor meant, but it was possible. It was what it had meant when Oliver held his hand, apparently. Connor just wanted it to be different for Ethan. “I dunno. I don’t know the bloke.” Which frankly made all this more frustrating because there wasn’t much for Connor to go off of other than the bits and pieces he’d picked up from Ethan, which had all made Connor think the bloke fancied Ethan, but in the nice ‘I want to date you’ sort of way and not in the ‘I want to fool around with you and then never see you again’ sort of way. “You held hands during Indiana Jones?” Connor asked, eyes wide again. That was way better than holding hands during that horror movie. And Ian wasn’t feeling Ethan up. Which was actually maybe another good sign pointing in the direction of Ian fancying Ethan in the good way. And then they were talking about dating? That sounded promising too. As did the fact that Ian was maybe flirting. Despite how everything turned out Connor gave Ethan a grin when he said he told Ian he was gay. That was a lot given Connor was the first person he’d ever told, and that was just a couple weeks ago. Clearly Ethan liked Ian a lot. And trusted him too, because this didn’t feel like the same kind of panicked mid-ramble blurt that Connor had thrown at Oliver. It sounded intentional on Ethan’s part. He laughed when Ethan said it was the same thing that Ethan had done when Connor told him was gay. “No shit, really?” Connor asked, laughing again, the weed making it more amusing, and it was pretty amusing on its own. Only he frowned again when Ethan said Ian wasn’t interested in dating. “Oh. Did he say why not?” Not interested in dating was different from Ian saying he didn’t fancy Ethan, but the outcome was the same, wasn’t it? Disappointing. And confusing because of all the hand holding and the sleeping on his couch and -- “Wait!” Connor said, another memory breaking through his hazy mind. “The moment! You said there was a moment. Was that before or after he said he’s not interested in dating?” The next thing that Ethan said had him letting out a laugh, the weed making him suddenly feel quite tickled at the notion that the pair of them, two gay best mates who hadn’t known they were gay best mates until a couple weeks ago, might both be going about being gay wrong. His laughter turned into a fit of giggles. “Probably!” He said between laughs. “It sure feels like we’re doing it wrong, doesn’t it?” He asked through more laughter, the weed making the thought hilarious instead of depressing. 

#ethan #UGH that's just the worst #it does seem like you'd have heard about the weather smh #they need to get it together #also laughing at these two trying to sort through ethan's confusing boy problems while high #and all the ian/oliver comparisons xP

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Ethan took the joint and laughed when Connor remarked about Ian running before he remembered what had happened and stopped laughing. “Sorry mate,” he said sincerely before taking another drag. He listened to Connor replaying what Ethan had said and nodded his head along. Before he had a chance to focus, because that was a longer process right then, on the moment and how to explain it to Connor, Connor was talking again. Connor asked some good questions. Ones Ethan was’t sure he’d be able to answer even without the weed hazing up his mind right then. Smoking made talking about the stuff with Ian much easier. But it also made thinking any of it through much harder. “Shit man,  I dunno,” he answered with a sigh. “Not sure I was thinking too hard on it. Just realized I fancied him, and then when I found out he was gay asking him out just seemed like the thing to do.” He passed back the joint as he shifted through the haze in his mind to think about things a little more. “I mean if you take out all the logistic sort of things like how dating would actually work, which I obviously didn’t think about, than yeah, I’d want to date him. Hadn’t even gotten to the idea of snogging and stuff at the moment, so I don’t think it was wanting to do that. Though he did hold my hand which was really nice. Dating is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be,” he added with a frown. “I thought the hard part would be finding a gay bloke.” Turned out all of it was hard.

“S’alright,” he said with a resigned sigh when Ethan stopped himself from laughing at the comment about his crush running away from him after he told him he was gay and fancied him. He might have been a little hurt if not for the fact both of them were smoking right now, which meant it stung less on his end and also Ethan couldn’t really be blamed for laughing at anything right now. Anyways, he was way more interested in what Ethan had to say. So much so he almost wished they’d also talked about this before they started smoking, except maybe the weed made it easier for Ethan to talk about, which was good. Connor just needed to focus. He couldn’t fault Ethan’s logic that when he realized he fancied Ian and that Ian was gay--which Ethan apparently found out for certain, which should have just reinforced Connor’s earlier suspicions the bloke was into Ethan--and so asking him out seemed like the thing to do. But it didn’t totally clear up what Ethan wanted. Which maybe he didn’t know either. Which was fair. And it wasn’t like Ethan had taken his clothes off and snogged the bloke, he’d just asked him out. Which was probably what you were supposed to do to figure out what else you wanted. Connor wasn’t sure. It was all confusing even when he wasn’t high. Only the fact Ethan hadn’t even though about snogging and stuff before he’d asked Ian out sort of seemed promising. At least Connor would rather be asked out by someone who just liked him and wanted to go on a date with him than someone who just wanted to snog him and then didn’t want to ever be seen with him again. Except---hang on. Did Ethan just say? Connor’s eyes widened. “Hang on. Hang on. What?? You held hands? Seriously? Was that before or after you asked him out? Actually--it doesn’t matter. What the hell is wrong with blokes?” Connor asked, because this sounded like an entirely too familiar situation. He took a drag of the joint Ethan passed him and then offered it back to his mate. “I mean, remember how I told you about Oliver holding my hand at that movie night? And we couldn’t tell if that was just because he was scared or if he might fancy me? Well now I know for a fact he’s gay and into me, at least into me enough to want to fool around, so I’m pretty sure straight blokes don’t hold each other’s hands. What exactly happened with Ian??” What Ethan wanted and how complicated all the logistics were for gay blokes was temporary forgotten by the revelation that Ian had pulled an Oliver and held Ethan’s hand but then apparently rejected him. 

#ethan #NOOOOO THAT'S AWFUL UGH #I'M MAD ON YOUR BEHALF #and on my behalf tbh bc their incompetence is keeping you from me ;;

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Ethan nodded solemnly. “That one is seared on my brain,” he told Connor with a grimace. He  was surprised by Connor’s talk. Pamphlets that were apparently for gay blokes. Huh. “They can,” he blurted out before looking suitably embarrassed by that. Given what his dad had told him it made sense he guessed that they could also pass around STDs but he hadn’t really thought about that before now. Probably because he hadn’t thought about doing anything with a bloke that might lead to STDs before now. At least Connor was probably safe from that, Oliver’s whole freak out didn’t seem like something someone with experience would have. As surprising as that tidbit was Ethan thought on whole Connor’s talk wasn’t that bad. It was nice of his dad to try and give Connor a gay sex talk given the bloke likely knew even less than Connor had. He was a little envious of Connor’s relationship with his dad. Ethan was close to his pops, and knew his pops loved him. He just wasn’t so sure his pops would love the idea of him being gay. Ethan didn’t think he’d be able to handle it if he was right. He’d given it some thought and decided that his pops probably wouldn’t be one of those dads that would toss him out but the idea of his pops being secretly disappointed in him or worse just pulling away because he was disappointed felt terrible. Far too down of thoughts to be having when you were getting high so turning the conversation away from dads to straight people felt better. He laughed and nodded at Connor’s answer. Now he had a much better idea of the gay and hitting one me or just straight and friendly issue. Had it not been for some of the more terrible things that happened with Oliver, Ethan might have pointed out that at least he had a better idea that Oliver was actually hitting on him now but that felt like not the right thing to do now. He took another drag as Connor talked about the coming out. How it never really ended. Which sounded horrible. It was hard enough trying to work out if he wanted to come out and how it might happen without it having to be a constant thing. It’d be nice if it all could be as easy as coming out to Conner had been. Coming out to Ian hadn’t been that difficult if you didn’t count the whole rejection thing. Speaking of Ian. Ethan grimaced as he exhaled and passed the joint back to Connor. “Nothing really to talk about,” he told Connor. Which of course he couldn’t leave there, sadly. “So I realized I fancied him, not even sure how that happed but yeah.” Couldn’t deny that one. Though he could leave out the role Ian’s leather jacket had played in that discovery because that felt weird to admit out loud. “Anyway he came over the other night and we were watching TV, one of the Indiana Jones movies,” he confessed looking embarrassed. Watching the fictional character, or maybe it was the actor, he had a physical crush on with the bloke he fancied was not the smartest move. “So I ended up asking him out and he let me down easy.” At least that’s the way Ethan saw it as happening. “And honestly are all blokes so confusing or did we just pick the confusing ones,” he blurted out. Because Ian was not Oliver but he was confusing. “Maybe I just need to not watch so many movies and it was me. I dunno. But he stayed the night cause it was that night it was storming, slept on the couch.” A distinction that felt necessary since one of them was apparently sleeping naked in the same bed as their crush. “So in the morning we were making breakfast and there was this moment where it was like in the films right before they kiss. Except it wasn’t because this isn’t a film so no kissing. We’re just mates. And the whole thing was stupid anyway because I’m only out to you, where would we even go on a date. I don’t even have any ideas what to do for a date. So like I said it was nothing and him not being interested might have save me from embarrassing myself in a similar way as Oliver,” he added. Because Oliver was clearly the one who needed to be embarrassed about that whole mess in Ethan’s opinion.

“Don’t blame you,” Connor said with a sympathetic look at Ethan. Sex talks from parents were always bad, Connor figured, but that sounded particularly so. He nodded at Ethan’s surprise that blokes could give each other STDs; Connor hadn’t known either until his dad gave him those pamphlets, and awful as it was he supposed he was glad his dad had found at least that information so he knew about it. Not that he’d really thought about it before getting naked with Oliver. At least before they took all their clothes off they’d both talked about how they’d never done most of what they’d already done together. Connor liked to think maybe he’d have stopped to worry about that if not for that conversation, but truthfully he hadn’t been doing much thinking at all so he’d probably just gotten lucky there. More reason to talk to a bloke about shit before getting naked with him. Though Connor would prefer not to fancy another bloke for a while after how badly everything went with Oliver. And, just like he was telling Ethan, it felt even harder than straight blokes had it. So many extra things to worry about other than ‘do they fancy me?’ It was nice to hear about his mate’s bloke stuff instead of focusing on his own, though Connor wasn’t sure what to expect. He quirked an eyebrow when Ethan said not much happened but kept quiet, letting his mate talk while he took a drag from the joint. Before now he’d have been excited to hear that Ethan realized he fancied Ian, because it had sure seemed to Connor that Ian fancied Ethan even before he’d known Ethan was gay. Both of Connor’s eyebrows lifted when Ethan said Ian was over at his place and they were watching Indiana Jones together, of all things. That was an interesting development. Connor was pretty sure Ethan hadn’t had Ian over before. And sure, Ethan and Connor watched movies at each other’s places all the time, but neither of them fancied the other. Connor’s eyes widened in surprise when Ethan said he’d asked Ian out. Now that was unexpected! Only his brows furrowed and he frowned when he said Ian let him down easy. Connor had a lot of questions about that whole thing. Like why had Ethan asked Ian out? Surely he wouldn’t with no good reason to think Ian might fancy him. And be into blokes. Which made Connor realize Ethan hadn’t just asked Ian out, he’d also come out to him. That felt even bigger than Ethan asking Ian out. He listened to the rest of what Ethan said with furrowed eyebrows. This was a lot. Maybe they should have talked about it before they started on the weed. Though the weed would probably help Ethan with the whole thing. Helga knew that Connor could relate to being rejected by a bloke who was giving you confusing mixed signals. “Shit, mate,” was all he said at first as he passed the joint back. “At least he didn’t run away from you after you told him you’re gay and you fancied him,” Connor remarked first, because unfortunately he knew from experience it could be worse. “Okay, but hang on.” Connor’s brain was feeling nice and foggy now, and he took a second to try to figure out the whole situation. “So he was over here watching movies with you. And then you asked him out, and he said no, but then he stayed the night on your couch and stayed here for breakfast and there was a moment? What happened?” Except--no, wait, there was something else Ethan said that felt more important. The end part. “Wait. Wait. Hang on.” Connor could sort through this, he could! “First of all, you wouldn’t have pulled an Oliver. I don’t believe that. Even if maybe you’re not sure how going on a date with the bloke would have worked. But let me ask you this. If he had said yes, would you have actually wanted to date him? Or did you just ask because you fancy him and you wanted to hold hands and snog and stuff?’ There was a difference, that Ethan had already articulated well. Fancying someone and wanting to spend time with them, versus the reality of trying to figure out how to date a bloke without accidentally outing yourself to people you didn’t want to out yourself too. Which inherently came with a degree of risking outing yourself to people you didn’t want to out yourself to, and you had to be ready to accept that risk. Connor was. Oliver clearly hadn’t been. It was unclear what Ian had been thinking, but Connor was more interested in figuring out what Ethan was feeling first. 

#ethan #out of order but connor was easier this morning #i say at 2 pm my time lmao we're doing great here

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

“Bloody hell, it’s probably the most awkward thing I’ve heard,” he told Connor with a mix of sympathy for Connor and amusement at Oliver’s expense. As much as he felt for Connor it was also sort of a relief to know that his most awkward moment was not all that bad it seemed. At least if Connor’s was the bar. Still he wasn’t sure he really wanted to talk about his. It wasn’t nearly as big of a deal as poor Connor had gone through. He nodded at Connor’s question. Did’t seem to be much more to say on it really. Especially not when it seemed there was a lot more to say about Connor’s morning. At first Ethan felt relief fro Connor that Jacob hadn’t showed up, that surely would have been an even bigger mess. Especially if he’d shown up before Oliver stopped weirdly complimenting Connor and asking odd questions, really what a weirdo that one was. But nope, no reason for relief here. Ethan’s eyes grew wide when Connor talked about hickies. Which was dumb, he’d gotten naked with the bloke and apparently touched his dick, hickies felt tame compared to all of that. But they were visible. Ethan’s mouth opened a little in surprise when Connor confessed to telling Jacob about fooling around. So embarrassing. Still he couldn’t help chuckling a little at the idea of Jacob’s nightmares sex talk. “Couldn’t be worse than my pops basically telling me him and my mum had premarital sex. And don’t even get me started on the venereal disease, almost as bad.” Ethan grimaced and motioned for Connor to pass him the joint. “I can see why you needed this. That’s a rough morning mate,” he added before taking a drag and passing it back. “You reckon straight people have this many issues? Probably have it easier. Definitely don’t have to deal with the whole coming out bullshit,” he said after he exhaled. Ethan hadn’t thought any about telling his parents or how he’d do that. But listening to Connor talk about Oliver’s freak out had him considering that maybe he shouldn’t have been asking anyone out till he had a better idea of what that meant. Not that he saw himself doing all of that and then acting like that. Didn’t even seem himself doing all of that at this moment. But still might be a good idea to think about things a little more than his impulsive asking Ian out had been.

Connor let out another laugh in spite of himself when Ethan said his morning was the most awkward thing he’d ever heard. It figured the most awkward thing someone ever heard would be something that happened to Connor. With Oliver. A bloody mess. He frowned when Ethan nodded at his question, worried maybe Ethan had an awkward situation of his own, but as Ethan asked him about Jacob Connor just filed that away to come back to later. He grimaced at Ethan’s obvious surprise as he told his mate what happened with his brother, though he wasn’t sure if the surprise was more from the hickies or from the whole conversation Connor had with Jacob. Maybe both. Only then it was Connor whose eyes were widening, and he coughed a little on the smoke he’d just breathed in when he heard Ethan describe the sex talk he got from his dad, that apparently featured his mum. “Fuck, mate, are you serious?” He asked, passing the joint over to Ethan because he definitely needed it just as much as Connor did after that. Never mind that the conversation had likely happened quite a long time ago, just bringing it up called for a smoke. “That might be worse than the talk my dad gave me. He already knew I was gay so he got some Pamphlets from St. Mungo’s or something and said blokes can still give each other STDs and if I had questions I could ask them, even though he clearly knew nothing about gay blokes.” Connor shook his head. His dad’s heart had been in the right place, but it was horribly awkward. He gladly took the joint back from Ethan and took a drag, fully in agreement he’d needed this. Both the company and the weed. He laughed at Ethan’s question. “No way do they have it as bad as we do! I mean, I’m not saying it’s all easy for them, obviously, but they don’t have to deal with the whole ‘are you gay and hitting on me or just straight and friendly or even possibly gay and hitting on me but still in the closet and not interested in dating,” he said, getting more exasperated especially by that third option he hadn’t realized was on the table. He took another drag and then passed the joint back to Ethan. “And then there’s the coming out stuff, yeah, which seems like it never really ends. So we definitely have it worse.” He paused, regarding his mate for a moment. Last he’d talked to Ethan, his mate hadn’t really been thinking about telling anyone and also had said he didn’t fancy anyone. That had changed, apparently. “You wanna talk about what happened with Ian?” Connor wasn’t sure what happened, or if it was even much of anything since Ethan had said it wasn’t worth owling about, but clearly something had happened if Ethan was saying he did fancy Ian and Ian supposedly didn’t fancy him. Which Connor was still struggling with. 

#Ethan #hahaahaha i knew what you were going for there xP

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Ethan nodded his head in agreement with Connor. While he could sympathize with the bloke somewhat he was firmly on the side of his mate. “Yeah, it wasn’t fair of him to do all of that with you when he knew how you felt about him.” As someone who was also not out maybe he should feel more compassion for Connor quidditch player. But Connor had very clearly told him that he fancied him so Connor wanting to go on a date after all of that shouldn’t have been a surprise. Certainly not something to completely freak over. That coupled with how upset Connor was felt more than enough reason to think Oliver was an arse. Hopefully pizza and weed would help ease some of Connors upset. Probably would be better if they didn’t keep talking about it. But Ethan couldn’t help asking once it registered what Connor had said. As terrible as it was Ethan couldn’t help laughing. “Ducking hell. Sounds like an awkward morning for sure. Sorry mate.” Maybe this would put Connor off Oliver for good. Seemed like the best. Ethan hadn’t meant to drop hints about his own issues with blokes. One bloke. “Eh, it’s nothing,” he hedged. “Not nearly as bad as Oliver jerking you around after jerking you off.” That was weird. Talking about blokes was too new for talking about sexual things with blokes not to be. “We can definitely talk about it but it wasn’t anything to owl you about. Just turns out I was wrong about not fancying someone and you were wrong about Ian fancying me.” Which he’d known Connor had been. It seemed dumb of him to even try it. At least it had just been an awkward moment in the kitchen and not nakedness before a total freak out. Ethan didn’t like to stereotype but he hoped slytherins weren’t Connor type because Oliver had just reinforced his opinion that they were weird. “Jacob didn’t come to yours this morning did he,” Ethan asked. Not just to change the topic from him back to Connor. He also wasn’t sure how Jacob fit in. Moving back to Connor felt justified given how much worse Connor had it. While he talked he grabbed some napkins, not worrying about plates, before sitting back down.

In spite of himself, hearing Ethan laugh when Connor explained Oliver’s struggle after telling Connor he’d been impressive pulled a small smile from him. It was sort of nice to hear his mate laugh at Oliver about something he’d done. Which was not nice, but Connor felt like he was allowed to have some not nice thoughts in this situation. “It was easily the most awkward interaction we’ve ever had, and honestly, that’s really saying something,” he said with another slight smile. Most of the time when Connor was talking to Oliver he was focusing on his own awkward, nervous rambling. But Oliver was sort of an awkward bloke himself. Maybe letting all this go was for the best. Of course it was for the best. But Connor didn’t want to just make everything about him, at least not if he’d heard things right and Ethan maybe had some bloke problems of his own. Connor wanted Ethan to have bloke-related things to talk about, but he wanted to them to be good things, not bad ones. Even despite that comment from Ethan, Connor’s eyes widened when Ethan answered him. Ethan fancied someone? This was huge! Except--wait. Connor was wrong about--this was about that Ian bloke? The bloke who’d been bringing stuff to  Ethan for him to fix for what had to be at least a year now, who was always coming to Ethan’s work to hang out with him, and Ethan was trying to suggest the bloke didn’t fancy him? There was no way. Right? Connor frowned. “Really?” Connor was pretty sure his gaydar was broken, but even to him it seemed like that bloke wouldn’t do all that if he didn’t fancy Ethan. Then again, what did Connor know, really? Fuck. Had he gotten Ethan’s hopes up? 

But before Connor could dive into questions about what had happened with Ian, Ethan was asking about Connor’s disaster of a morning again. He grimaced when Ethan asked about Jacob. It was time for weed. Past time, really, only Connor was glad he’d stayed sober long enough to talk with Ethan about how neither of them really knew how sex stuff was supposed to work with two blokes. It was sort of tragic neither of them really knew, but there was comfort in the fact they weren’t alone in their ignorance. And there had to be a way to learn how those things worked, so maybe they could figure that out together. Find some books or something. For now he just answered Ethan’s question with a shake of his head. “No, thank Helga.” As bad as things had been, he couldn’t even imagine how much worse they would have been if Jacob had showed up at his flat while Oliver was still there. “He owled me but I sent him a message telling him that I’d meet him at our parents’ house. The problem is I, er, didn’t know how to get rid of the hickies Oliver gave me,” he admitted, his cheeks flushing again. “And as soon as our parents went off to play with Kit he called me out on the scarf I was wearing to hide them. It was horrible, Ethan. I mean, at first he was just teasing me which was fine, I guess. He helped me get rid of the hickies at least. But then he started asking about the bloke and so I had to tell him there isn’t a bloke, really, because the bloke isn’t interested, and of course ‘cause I can’t keep my mouth shut I said something vague about how we fooled around last night and Jacob started talking to me about safe sex. I shut him up real quick, but fuck, it was a nightmare.” And with that, Connor pulled out his wand and lit the joint so he could take a drag, because he really needed it after having to relive the morning. Maybe the weed would also help Ethan talk about whatever he’d thought wasn’t important enough to owl Connor about. 

#ethan #no apologies you're perf xD

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Ethan felt a little less dumb knowing Connor had been surprised to find out blokes could have sex. It was just a shame there wasn’t information on this stuff. How did blokes find out? Maybe there was. After all three were gay clubs. His ignorance probably had a lot to do with his not ever just giving it a shot and going to one of those places. Something Ethan still couldn’t see himself doing truthfully. But this wasn’t about him. It was about Connor. And how things had gone south for his best mate. Ethan listened when Connor started talking about what had happened after. Only somehow Oliver freaking out when Connor asked him out on a date felt both surprising and unsurprising. This was the same bloke Connor said freaked out and nearly got lost in muggle London when Connor told him he fancied him. Freaking out seemed to sort of be Oliver’s thing. Still he didn’t understand why Oliver would do all of that with someone he knew fancied him and still freak out over a date. Or why he’d freak out so badly he’d need a potion. Or any of the other stuff Connor was saying. And he thought his disaster was bad. “Shit.” Ethan nearly offered Connor a beer but they were going to be smoking soon so he didn’t. “I dunno, mate. But I do know you’re not an idiot. Seems like asking him out on a date would be pretty logical.” Well maybe in the other direction but Ethan wasn’t gonna touch that. Connor clearly felt bad enough about all the stuff they had done. Ethan tried to forget about all the naked in bed stuff and just think about the disastrous after part. “Is he out? Cause it doesn’t sound like it. Not that you don’t have every right to be pissed. He sounds very confusing and I dunno maybe confused. But it sucks what he did. Freaking out like that.” There was probably also the whole doing stuff with Connor when he wasn’t out. Though Ethan wasn’t sure he could hold that against someone any more than he could hold it against Connor. Except Connor was his best mate and this bloke just sucked. So maybe he could. Even if Ethan could also see freaking out about doing all that stuff. A rustle at the window took his attention off of Connor’s confusing boy issues. “I dunno, mate. Aside from the fact that it sounds terrible. I’m not exactly brimming with knowledge of blokes over here,” he told Connor as he got up and paid the owl for their pizzas. “But the pizzas are here and we’ve got all afternoon to get high and say fuck blokes and their confusing mixed signals. Especially quidditch players who mess around and then freak out.” Ethan gave Connor a sympathetic smile and brought the pizzas over to the coffee table. “Wait, did he really call you impressive after freaking out so bad he needed a calming draught cause you asked him out? Like your hand job was impressive?” Maybe he shouldn’t have asked that but it popped into his head as he processed more of what Connor had said. That was really bloody weird. “He’s got some weird timing.” Ethan was glad he wasn’t into quidditch players.

“Thanks, mate,” Connor gave his mate a small smile when Ethan said he wasn’t an idiot. He still felt like one, but he appreciated the words nonetheless. His smile soured at Ethan’s question about whether Oliver was out. The question wasn’t a surprise, nor was the logic behind it. Connor had figured as much, that Oliver wasn’t out and that had a lot to do with his freakout. Connor didn’t fault Oliver for that. Connor was barely out himself, and only to a handful of people he trusted. Just deciding to tell Ethan had been a big step. And while he was hoping to take some more steps, maybe, he was only hoping to take some small ones. Connor liked the idea of not hiding who he was from the people who mattered, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to make some big statement yet. He just didn’t want to--well, he didn’t want to hide things to the extent that Oliver seemed to want to hide things, to the extent that even just the chance someone might somehow find out what they’d been up to in the privacy of Connor flat last night, was enough to freak him out. Connor felt bad for Oliver; he was sure the other had lots of good reasons to be freaked out, better reasons than Connor did given that Oliver was someone people knew and cared about. Cene hadn’t been kicked off his team but it hadn’t all been positive publicity about him either. Connor didn’t fault Oliver for not wanting that. What sucked was that he’d done all that with Connor knowing he didn’t want to do anything after. Knowing that Connor fancied him the whole time. Maybe it hadn’t been that deep. Maybe Oliver got caught up the same way Connor did. But it still sucked. Especially him running out like that without giving Connor much of an explanation. He nodded his agreement with Ethan. “I think you’re right. He’s definitely not out. Maybe not to anyone, I’m not sure. I would have thought Cene knows but with how freaked out he was I’ve got no idea. But he probably is confused. Just sucks he had to pull me into that, y’know?” Connor sighed, but a small smile returning when Ethan said all they had to do today was eat pizza and get high and say fuck blokes and their confusing mixed signals. He snorted out a laugh when Ethan came back to Oliver’s questions that morning, after he’d made it clear he wanted to leave and not see anymore of Connor. “Yes! Well--okay, no, I mean, that’s what I thought he was saying, and then I guess he realized that and started backtracking and said he meant that last night when I got us both from outside my building into my flat in the dark when everything turned into chaos was impressive. He definitely also said something about the other stuff being impressive too though,” Connor added, because it was pretty much the only good thing Oliver said this morning and he’d said it all at the worst possible time when all it did was confuse Connor even more. “Fucking weird timing,” Connor repeated, picking up the joint but not lighting it yet because something Ethan said felt off to him and he wanted to ask before he started to get high. “Hang on, what did you mean by especially quidditch players, though? You don’t have a bloke giving you confusing mixed signals, do you?” Last Connor heard Ethan didn’t fancy anyone so it seemed unlikely, but he wanted to check before he got high and spent the rest of the evening wallowing in his own bloke issues. 

#ethan #i know the poor guy #he has so many emotions about it all lmao

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

It was sort of a relief to know that Connor didn’t know either, that maybe he wasn’t a completely clueless loser virgin who was going to stay that way. Though he did wonder how Connor knew for a fact. Were there gay dirty magazines? Or did Connor just see things at those gay clubs? Maybe both. Probably both. It felt a little embarrassing to be talking blow jobs but it wasn’t the first time blow jobs had been mentioned around Ethan. It was just this time was about blowjobs between two blokes and he did not need to be thinking about that sort of thing. But he was apparently talking about it. Seemed to Ethan it was good thing they hadn’t done that. Considering how it ultimately ended up, which Ethan didn’t have the details yet but knew enough to know it wasn’t good. “Blokes can have sex,” he blurted out without thinking. “Sorry,” he added with an embarrassed chuckle. He gave Connor a sympathetic smile when the other said he didn’t know what he would or wouldn’t do. Ethan wished he knew what to say to cheer Connor up but he also didn’t think he’d be naked with a bloke who wasn’t his boyfriend. Hadn’t even considered he’d be naked with a bloke who was before now. Not that he had never wanted a boyfriend, he just never knew how to go about getting one or even finding a bloke willing to do stuff that wasn’t a boyfriend. He still didn’t know any of those things. It was a little surprising to hear that Oliver hadn’t known what he was doing either. If anyone would know how to find a bloke to mess around with a quidditch player who was also mates with the one openly gay quidditch player should. Maybe that meant there was even less of a chance for a bloke like him. Ethan felt a little awkward hearing Connor give details. But he did’t stop him, he’d asked after all. “Wow,” was all he had to say at first because that was something. Ethan hadn’t even considered hand jobs. Probably dumb of him. But then again something else he didn’t need to be thinking about because it wasn’t like he was gonna be getting his hands on anyone else’s dick any time soon. “Sounds like a lot.” Except maybe it hadn’t felt like a lot to Oliver. Which would have made more sense if Connor hadn’t said that Oliver did’t seem like he knew what he was doing. So this wasn’t a quidditch bloke with lots of experience having yet another experience. But it also didn’t mean anything to him? Weird. “But not to Oliver, I take it,” he asked gently. Ethan felt bad. All of this was huge, he knew it was huge for Connor too. But something had gone wrong, he just didn’t know what. Yet.

Connor let out a small, surprised laugh along with his mate’s flustered chuckle when he blurted out his clear surprise the blokes could have sex. “Yeah, that one surprised me too,” he said before he kept going. As awkward as it felt to share details about what he got up to with Oliver, it felt a little easier knowing that Ethan knew about as little as Connor did. Maybe a little less, even, which wasn’t saying much given how little Connor knew about how things were supposed to work with two blokes. He’d always figured he’d have time to educate himself before he was in any situations like last night, because he figured he’d see it coming with some bloke he’d been dating for a while. And here he was now. At least he could educated Ethan a little. That was something. He just grimaced when Ethan said wow. That about summed it up. Connor nodded. It had been a lot. Too much. Not enough. Definitely too much though, a thought that was just reinforced when Ethan asked about Oliver in a tone that indicated he knew things hadn’t ended well. Which of course he did, based on Connor’s owls. Connor sighed, looked at the half-finished cookie he was holding that now looked like it would taste like cardboard, and set it down on top of a napkin on Ethan’s table. 

“See, that’s the thing,” he started, finally looking at Ethan again. “It seemed like it was a lot for him too. He said he’d never done any of that stuff either.” And he’d said a lot of other nice things that he either hadn’t meant or had decided didn’t matter anymore once the sun came up. “The morning even started off sort of nice, we were just cuddled up in my bed and he was saying he had to go practice quidditch but he wasn’t moving or anything so it seemed like he wanted to stay. So then I asked him if I could take him on a date sometime, ‘cause I guess I’m just a bloody idiot for thinking the naked bloke cuddling me in my bed might wanna go on a date with me,” he was an idiot for that and Connor hated it. “And then he just freaked out.” It had been upsetting in a lot of ways. Made Connor feel very much rejected, but also like he’d done something wrong. “Like, majorly freaked out,” Connor continued. “I had to give him some calming draught just so he could get it together enough to put his clothes back on. He just kept saying shit like how he couldn’t do this, and he couldn’t do anything that anyone might find out about, and at that point I was just trying to help him get his clothes so he could leave because I’m not really into having people in my flat that don’t wanna be there,” and Connor was still upset over how it felt like he’d done something wrong with Oliver, something that upset him. Only Connor was upset over what they’d done now too. It sucked. “Only then I’m trying to show him the door and he just keeps saying shit to me about the night before, like thanking me for not leaving him out there in the dark and calling me impressive and asking me if I shoved someone out of the way ‘cause he thought it was badarse, and I’m just like, what the fuck, you know? I dunno what he wanted from me after he said he wanted to leave and never do anything else someone might find out about. For someone who’s so sure about that he sure didn’t have a problem getting all close and holding my hand at the Tookers, or going to that muggle bakery alone with me that night after Josh and Cene’s party,” he added with a huff, frustration and irritation bubbling back up over the hurt and disappointment he was feeling. 

#ethan #LMAO yes he's very glad he has ethan to talk about that stuff with haha #love ti both of them like hmm we should learn more about this bc apparenlty you may not be able to tell when you'll need it #i'm sure they'll come back to that once connor is done venting about oliver lol

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Ethan’s eyes grew wide at Connor’s confession. From the context of why Connor was here it seemed as though the response to the kiss had probably not been well. A conclusion that seemed so right that even hearing how Oliver had been whispering in his ear didn’t change it. After all, hadn’t Oliver practically groped Connor at the Tookers? Oliver sounded just as confusing as Ian. Only there was no groping happening there. Probably a good thing. The hugging and other stuff was confusing enough. Except his conclusion was wrong. Oliver had kissed him back. There was snogging even! Lots of snogging apparently. More than snogging it seemed. Ethan’s mouth was open slightly in surprise, his eyes still very wide, and Connor wasn’t the only one who felt a little embarrassed by all of this. There was’t much about beyond snogging that Ethan knew about. Men and women had sex, he didn’t know the mechanics of it completely but he’d seen a dirty magazine once and knew enough for someone who wasn’t going to be doing that he thought. But what blokes got up to with other blokes was something of a mystery. Well he’d heard about blow jobs so he supposed that could be the everything that Connor meant they hadn’t done. Though there seemed to be a lot of things between snogging and blowjobs that he wasn’t clear at all on. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing Ian had turned him down since he had no idea what they would do beyond a little kissing and hand holding and maybe some light —heavy?— petting. Truthfully Ethan hadn’t gone beyond the kissing part in his mind. Meanwhile Connor had not just thought about but done a whole lot more. “You were naked? Together? In your bed?” he asked in a sort of hushed whisper that bordered between scandalized and awed, with more of a lean towards awed. Ethan had a lot more questions but he wasn’t sure he could ask. Only he’d been around straight blokes before, heard some of their riskier talk. These were’t topics they veered away from. Maybe, considering they were both gay, they could talk about them too. There wasn’t much they didn’t talk about. In fact being gay had been the only thing they hadn’t talked about, until they did. “Feel free to tell me it’s not my business if you don’t want to talk about specifics because it’s not, but what do you mean by a lot? What’s between snogging and well blow jobs. That’s what you meant by everything right?” Ethan felt very clueless and his cheeks very warm. The talk he’d had with his pa had been about not rushing into things or doing anything he didn’t want to and not pressuring anyone else into things. How it was better on people to do these things at their own pace. By things Ethan gathered his pa had been talking about sex. How peer pressure would be strong but to stand firm and not engage it himself. Then he’d said how it was worth it waiting till Ethan’s mum was ready. With a quick aside that it’d been on their honeymoon that had made Ethan feel like it hadn’t been. Not something he wanted to think about let along talk about. Yet his pa managed to make it worse by going from that to talking about what the military had taught them about STDs. All in all the conversation made him wish he’d gone to a horror film marathon instead of having ‘the talk’ with is his pa.

Connor probably would have enjoyed the clear surprise on Ethan’s face when he told his mate what happened if things had ended better for him after it was all said and done. As it was now, Ethan’s obvious shock just made Connor feel like more of an idiot for doing everything he did with a bloke who just wanted to run from him once the sun was up. Still, he managed a soft, flustered chuckle when Ethan asked to confirm they’d been naked together in Connor’s bed. “Yeah.” Connor still couldn’t believe that one either. He wasn’t sure where Ethan was going next. They’d never talked like he heard other blokes in their dorm talk about what they did with birds. Now he knew why though, because neither of them ever wanted to do anything with birds. Talking about blokes with each other was new. But other than blokes, they’d never been afraid to share even embarrassing things with each other. So it didn’t feel out of line that Ethan was asking specifics. Especially when it became clear why Ethan was asking specifics. He didn’t know what Connor meant. “Oh. Er--honestly? I’m not even sure exactly what I meant by not everything,” he confessed with a sheepish smile. “I mean, I know for a fact there’s stuff you can do that we didn’t do. Like blow jobs, we didn’t do that.” Unfortunately, except no, it was a very good thing they hadn’t done that because it would have just been one more thing for Connor to regret. One more first he gave away to someone who didn’t want to talk to him again after the fact. “But, er, I know blokes can do more than that. Like sex, basically. I just, er, don’t really know exactly how it’s supposed to work,” he confessed, feeling a bit awkward. Except he was also aware that Ethan wouldn’t be asking if he knew. The fact they were maybe on even footing there made Connor feel a little less awkward. Honestly, how were they supposed to know how things worked between two blokes when it wasn’t something anyone talked about? “I’m not sure Oliver knew either, actually. Or maybe he knew and didn’t want to do more, I dunno. I’m not sure I would have wanted to go that far either even if I knew how...” Except thinking back to how he’d felt in that moment, desperate for as much of Oliver as he could get, Connor wasn’t sure he could say for certain he wouldn’t have done more if he’d known how. In hindsight he wouldn’t. But in the moment? He probably would have done anything Oliver suggested if it got Connor closer to him. Fuck, he was a loser. His face felt hot and he cleared his throat. “But I also wouldn’t have ever thought I’d be naked with a bloke who wasn’t my boyfriend, so what the hell do I know about what I would and wouldn’t do,” he asked with a laugh that had an edge to it, because he regretted a lot of that now. Only part of him also didn’t regret it, because it had been amazing, and he was sort of mad at Oliver for making it all less amazing, and mad at himself for not stopping to figure out if they were on the same page before diving into all of that head first. Only Ethan had asked what they did do, and as awkward as that was to talk about, he also didn’t mind that Ethan was asking. Before last night Connor hadn’t know what would happen either. “Uh. Anyways, I don’t think either of us really knew what we were doing. Which might have been awkward, maybe it was a little awkward physically, but it was, er, well it was way too hot to feel awkward in the moment,” he admitted with a flustered chuckle, his face way too hot again. “Uh, there was a lot of touching. Then it was a lot of, er grinding on each other sort of?” Fuck that awkward to say. “And handjobs, I guess.” At least there was a word for that. “And we got each other off. Twice. First in the closet, then in my bed. So er--no sex or blowjobs, but we also touched each other and got off together. So--yeah, it felt like a lot to me, at least.” 

#ethan #AHAHAH I KNOW LIKE CONNOR COME ON #he's just feeling all the feelings about it lmao #also i'm sorry for going out of order again lmao #i just got home and this reply was there and i couldn't resist xP #these poor kiddos just clueless hahahah poor ethan with his dad's sex talk i'm cackling #his sweet dad giving him a consent talk we love that xD

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Ethan had known it wasn’t too overblown in the Prophet because Connor had been concerned enough to message him. But it was surprising to hear that they hadn’t overblown it at least somewhat. And hard to wrap his head around the fact that while he had just gotten frustrated he was getting nowhere with the clock so he’d settled for watching the telly and curling up with a blanket once it had gotten oddly cold, the rest of the wizarding community was freaking out over a magical blackout. Maybe living one foot in either world was’t such a bad thing. Instead of thinking about that he was listening to Connor’s terrifying description. He’d been in a black out when he was younger but his dad had flashlights and even a couple of lanterns they’d hung up. Since it had been right as his mum had started working on dinner his dad had lit the grill and eventually the whole neighborhood was out cooking on grills, sharing food since not all his neighbors had grills, and they’d made it into a big block party. All the mums that had ice cream or anything else they were worried wouldn’t keep pulled it out and that was shared too. Ethan had come away from it thinking blackouts were the coolest thing ever. But no magic meant nothing worked, they would’t have been able to do any of that. Far more terrifying. Especially the darkness. Ethan made a mental note to gift Connor a flashlight or a lantern, though he’d have to check at work and make sure it would work around a bunch of magic. Even in his building the muggle stuff sometimes did’t work great thanks to magic. Only Ethan realized that if magic was working Connor wouldn’t need it so it didn’t have to work around magic. Something that was really incredible and confusing to think about. But that wasn’t the part of the story that was going to get the biggest reaction from him. Oliver had been there. Connor had basically said it in his owl but it hadn’t made any since so Ethan had been left wondering if Connor had more than one crush. He didn’t interrupt as Connor talked despite having a lot of questions like why the closet of all places. And what was Oliver doing there? All of which was replaced by an even bigger one. “What do you mean stuff,’  he blurted out. Had Connor snogged Oliver? Certainly seemed that way. Except it could easily just have been embarrassing stuff. Like Connor threw up on Oliver or vice versa or something else embarrassing. None of which fit but also Connor and Oliver kissing in Connor’s closet felt like a big leap too. Was it?  

It was sort of a relief when Ethan just asked about Oliver instead of asking anything else about the blackout. Not that the blackout wasn’t important, and it was definitely something he and Ethan needed to talk about more, if only so Connor could make sure Ethan had a plan in place in case something like that happened again. They both needed to have plans for something like that now. But he was much more eager to talk to Ethan about what happened with Oliver. Even though it was a bloody disaster and Connor was an idiot. Talking to his best mates, to Ethan and Hestia, whenever he felt like a giant idiot generally made him feel like less of a giant idiot. And this was very much an Ethan conversation, not a Hestia conversation. The fact felt so obvious it was even stranger to think that just a few weeks ago Ethan hadn’t even known Connor was gay, or vice versa. Maybe he’d have come out to Ethan sooner if there had been actual bloke drama happening in his life that went beyond all the time he’d spent staring at Oliver in the pub. As it was, he was just very glad he could talk to Ethan about all this stuff now. Even if he was not at all sure how to talk to Ethan about this stuff. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as talking to Jacob about it, but he and Ethan had also never had this sort of conversation before. Connor had never had this sort of conversation before. 

“Er…..” Connor hesitated, already feeling his cheeks getting warmer. He might as well just get it out. “I kissed him,” Connor blurted finally. “I mean he was giving me all kinds of signals, holding my hand and whispering right in my ear,” Connor felt the need to justify his idiotic choice now that it had ended so horribly. “And—yeah, he kissed me back. A lot. There was a lot of kissing. Snogging really. Lots of snogging. And uh.” Connor could feel his face heating up again. “Well it didn’t exactly stop at snogging,” he admitted, a slight smile tugging at his lips in spite of everything else, because that part of the memory was still a good one. A really good one. “I mean we didn’t—y’know, do everything,” he said, though he realized he actually wasn’t sure if Ethan knew what he meant. Connor wasn’t even entirely sure what he meant, he just knew there was definitely more than grinding on each other and jerking each other off and they hadn’t done that. Which he was glad for now, given how things had gone this morning. To think he’d wanted Oliver’s dick in his mouth. Actually, a small part of him—okay, a not so small part of him—was still disappointed he hadn’t gotten Oliver’s dick in his mouth. Which was more reason it was a very good thing that had not happened. Connor had way too much to think about as it was. That he did not need to be thinking about with Ethan. He cleared his throat. “But we did a lot. Like—a lot.” Connor wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to tell Ethan he and Oliver got each other off or whether that was too much information. It felt like too much, probably. Maybe hinting at it was the way to go. “And then after, er, we did a lot of stuff again. In my bed. Uh. Without our clothes on.” he said, glancing between Ethan and Ethan’s coffee table because it was hard to look his mate in the eye the whole time he was talking about this stuff.

#ethan #LMAO we love ethan's priorities #very much in line with connor's xP #THEY SURE DID KISS ETHAN xP

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Connor’s owls had been confusing. Ethan was ready for the other to get there and tell him what had led to him being in a closet and this whole business about the black out. This morning’s Prophet had been full of stuff about it but none of it seemed to make sense. Instead it read as just more fear mongering that the Prophet seemed to revel in these days. While he waited for Connor’s arrival he ordered them a couple of pizzas and got stuff ready for a session of smoking and eating. Connor wasn’t the only one with something to tell but Connor’s certainly sounded more interesting than him getting turned down. It was crazy to think that just a short while ago he might not have heard about whatever had happened to Connor the night before. Ethan was glad that they’d come out to each other. He smiled when he heard Connor’s knock and let his mate in. Connor making himself at home was nothing new, Ethan was the same at Conno’s flat. They’d both been the same in each other’s bedrooms when they still lived at home. Ethan just followed him in and started opening up the tin of biscuits as soon as he’d sat down. “Honestly, I didn’t even notice. The heat went out and some stuff wasn’t working but I didn’t make the connection that the only stuff that wasn’t working was the magical stuff. Didn’t get anything muggle and since this building’s got both I guess that’s why there wasn’t more issues. Did magic really not work at all? Everywhere like the Prophet said?” Seemed impossible. Or improbable, after finding out he was a wizard not much felt truly impossible. But it was wild to think magic had just stopped working. He’d have asked if that had ever happened before but from the Prophet it seemed the answer was no.

Connor was glad to hear Ethan hadn’t had a scary night at all, it seemed, just a bit of inconvenience. He relaxed a bit once he knew his mate hadn’t had the worst of things, grabbing a biscuit and taking a bite before nodding. “Good to know the muggle stuff still worked, Jacob was asking about that.” Connor had been too preoccupied with everything else that night and the morning after to stop and wonder about that, though he was sure he’d have gotten there eventually too. “But yeah, it actually was like the Prophet said, believe it or not.” Connor didn’t blame Ethan for thinking the Prophet had exaggerated. Another problem with the Prophet, when it was telling the truth people didn’t even fully believe it anymore. “It was scary, mate,” he added grimly. “I mean it happened at night so it was dark out already and then everything just went black. The streetlights, houselights, everything. Just pitch darkness. First thing I did was try to light my wand but it didn’t work. And it felt...I dunno, wrong. Like I could tell the magic in it wasn’t working. Like I said, scary.” A lot had happened since that initial fear, but as Connor thought back on that first hour after everything went dark, he remembered how scared he’d been. How Oliver being there had actually been a good thing, because he’d been more scared and it forced Connor to keep his shit together to keep both of them safe. He really could use that joint now, but he wanted to fill Ethan in with a clear head first. “It happened right when I was leaving to go to muggle London. Got lucky there, ‘cause I was just outside my flat and managed to find my way back in and get back to my flat. It was chaos outside though. People started panicking, running and screaming. I got really lucky I was just a few steps outside my building. And uh...funnily enough, the reason I was standing there outside my building as long as I was is ‘cause I ran into Oliver,” he confessed, grimacing now. “It was weird, ‘cause he started talking to me and I was the one who cut things off, said I had to go ‘cause what the hell was I gonna stand around and have a conversation with a bloke who’d been avoiding me for, you know? Then everything blacked out and--I mean, I wasn’t just gonna run inside and leave him out there, was I? So I, er, brought him up to my flat. We were both freaked out, we ended up locking my door and then going in my bedroom, barricading my bedroom door with the dresser, then hiding in my closet.” It sounded silly now, but it was genuine fear that drove them both to that. If only that was the end of things. If only they just spent the night in the closet, literally and figuratively for one of them, and then the magic came back and Oliver left. But of course Connor was too much of a disaster for that. He sighed. He had to tell Ethan. What had he come out to him for if not to talk to him about this sort of thing? “At first it was just terrifying, for both of us. We both sort of took turns calming each other down I guess. But we were in there so long I guess the fear sort of stopped being front of mind since nothing else was happening and, er....well....” Connor could feel his face warming up. This was terrible. He was such a loser. “Some stuff happened,” be settled on, shifting uncomfortably and taking another bite of his cookie just for something to do.

#Ethan #I love these two #cute lil besties xD #sorry out of order but I’m also excited for Ethan to finally hear about Connor’s night xP

[connorbrownbakes]

“Hey mate,” Connor greeted Ethan with a slight smile when his mate opened the door, relieved to see a friendly face that wasn’t Jacob’s. Connor did appreciate his brother’s attempts at helping him out with his disaster of a bloke situation, but Helga if that hadn’t been awkward. As if being a stupid loser who got rejected wasn’t bad enough, having to tell his big brother about it because he’d spotted Connor’s hickies and then decided to give Connor a safe sex talk was even worse. At least it was over and Jacob hopefully wasn’t ever going to try to give him a sex talk ever again. And now that he’d checked in with the family and taken a much-needed nap, he was very ready to get high and commiserate with his best mate. Unfortunately that would mean having to tell Ethan about everything that happened, but Connor wasn’t dreading that the way he’d dreaded it the second he realized he was going to have to tell Jacob about what happened last night. It was nice to know he could talk to Ethan about this stuff, about a bloke, the same way they’d always talked each other through hard stuff--with weed and snacks. Connor held up the box of snickerdoodles and pulled a joint out of his pocket once the door was closed behind him. “Biscuits and weed, as promised. And fuck, do I need them both,” he said with a sigh as he kicked off his shoes at Ethan’s door and then walked over to Ethan’s couch, setting the biscuits and the joint down on his mate’s makeshift coffee table and flopping down onto the couch before looking closer at him. “You’re sure you’re okay after last night, right? Did the blackout hit you?” He asked, wanting to make sure Ethan was doing okay after all that before Connor launched into his own problems. Bloke issues aside, the blackout itself had been a lot. It had been scary, and they still didn’t know anything about what caused it. 

#ethan #hope this works! #connor just making himself at home bc i figure he's there all the time xD #and idr if we said the blackout hit ethan's place or not so either way is fine #i didn't spend as muc time on connor's mental state bc jacob got all that fun stuff xp #also me finally remembering the brits call them biscuits lol whoops

[connorbrownbakes]

ethanbarrowman​:

Connor,

I suppose I have to say yes, can’t have my best mate drowning in self pity. Plus you have cookies.

Joking aside I’m free so come on over! I’m sure it can’t be that bad, assuming you’re taking about the muggle club. I can order a pizza, unless you wanna wait till the munchies hit and see what we end up with. Always interesting.

Ethan

Ethan,

I wish I was talking about the muggle club. Didn’t even make it to the muggle club. Spent the night in a literal closet with the bloke I was trying to get over because I guess I’m just that much of a fucking disaster. The closet isn’t even the biggest part of the disaster if you can believe it.

I’ll explain when I get to your place. Be there in 10 with cookies and weed. I say go ahead and order the pizza, makes a good base ingredient to put the other munchies on top of. Remember the brownie-pineapple-crisp monstrosity?

Connor

#owl #Ethan #I’ll make a stater later #just had a few minutes and they’re cuties so wanted to do a reply to this xD