cucumbermoon

[cucumbermoon]

Logos, Mary Oliver /// I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well, James Allen Hall /// Hey Rosey, The National /// You with the Crack Running Through You, Kim Addonizio /// #319, asofterworld.com (remixed) /// yes & no, Natalie Wee /// Ceasefire, S.T. Gibson

[cucumbermoon]

Just to reiterate, Garak’s to-do list that day looked like this:

1. Make bomb

2. Lunch with Dr. Bashir ❤️

3. Explode

Garak was late to lunch that day because he was building a bomb to destroy his shop. He was eating Delavian chocolates while he made it. He saw an assassin and knew for whom the bell tolled, but he still ate his chocolates, and he still went to lunch, just a little late. Because he was making a bomb to blow himself up with.

[cucumbermoon]

incredibly low stakes garashir headcanons 😌

they're both pretty good cooks and like to make food for each other. garak is better at baking though and it drives julian insane bc even his augment brain can't help him figure out macarons

garak has never really been in a serious adult relationship and can't believe how much of it is just having different versions of the same conversation over and over again forever

julian isn't actually untidy or disorganized, but garak is. he tries not to be but there are fabric remnants and pins everywhere 😔

julian develops a taste for cardassian food and drink and is proud of it. garak develops a taste for human food but continues to performatively complain about it

the sex is great but it's mostly less weird than you'd think

they never, ever run out of things to talk about. seriously. they will never shut up

#I agree with every one of these #garashir

[cucumbermoon]

Garak was late to lunch that day because he was building a bomb to destroy his shop. He was eating Delavian chocolates while he made it. He saw an assassin and knew for whom the bell tolled, but he still ate his chocolates, and he still went to lunch, just a little late. Because he was making a bomb to blow himself up with.

#elim garak #who even are you #I can't with this guy #actually I can please forever #ds9 #star trek #star trek ds9 #garashir #ds9 garak

[cucumbermoon]

Absolutely awesome! It would have to be so disturbing for Julian to figure out what had been going on. And I love that last line; heart wrenching. I can’t wait to see it in The Seven Year Prologue! I might play around with this concept in future work myself, but there’s no room for it in Every Broken Thing.

Very preoccupied with Garak’s brain implant right now. What level of pain would trigger it? Like would it only kick in if he was actually being tortured, or would all pain of all kinds turn it on? I like to imagine it’s the latter and Garak went like fifteen entire years without experiencing any physical pain. Maybe he’d even stub his toe on purpose if he needed a mood booster.

And can you imagine the unbelievably difficult adjustment period he must have had after it was turned off? Getting a cut and expecting it to feel good. Waking up with a stiff neck after sleeping poorly and groaning in pain rather than moaning in pleasure. Finding out he’s not nearly as kinky as he thought he was. Maybe he didn’t used to mind at all if his needle pricked his finger but now he has to learn how to sew all over again without hurting himself.

[cucumbermoon]

Honestly what touches me the most about him calling them friends is that they mostly aren’t even friends of his. Bashir, yes. But the other people who are nearby are Worf, who hates him, and Martok and the Romulans, who he met yesterday. I find it so endearing that calls them his friends when he barely knows them. I have always thought that there was something childlike about Garak, and this is part of it. He’s like a six-year-old instantly bonding with another kid because they played together for twenty minutes.

I just want to remind everyone of this extremely powerful scene from In Purgatory’s Shadow/By Inferno’s Light from season 5 of ds9.

“I'm sorry, but that's absolutely unacceptable. I'm under enough strain as it is, I can't have you quitting on me. Get a hold of yourself, Garak. After all, you haven't had one of these attacks in years. Yes, this is a tight enclosed space. Yes, there's not a lot of room to move. But a disciplined mind does not allow itself to be sidetracked by niggling psychological disorders like claustrophobia. Besides, this isn't like Tzenketh. The walls won't collapse in on you. Your friends are near by, there's plenty of air, so there's nothing to be concerned about. Focus on the job. You're the only person who can contact the runabout. People are depending on you. Ziyal is depending on you. You promised her you'd come back, and that young lady has had quite enough disappointments in her life without you adding to them, so control yourself. You're stronger than this. A disciplined mind-”

This is one of the most accurate depictions of a panic attack I’ve ever seen in a tv show. Andy Robinson went above and beyond here. He depicted it perfectly. That choking panic that rises in your throat and steals your breath, while your mind screams at you. The fear in his voice as he talks to try and ground himself.

The sheer strength and fear and dread of Garak, as he prepares to go back in, knowing what awaits him. That choking cloying panic, your mind and body betraying you…

I read somewhere that Andy Robinson is himself claustrophobic. I wonder how much of himself he poured out into these scenes.

It’s powerful because it’s real. People go through this every day of their lives. And seeing a scene like this, it reminds us we are not alone, that there are others who suffer like this too.

[cucumbermoon]

Whoops, Gabriel Bell is my age. Ok then.

Happy birthday, Gabriel Bell!

#me and bell '87 besties

[cucumbermoon]

You are so absolutely right about the importance of pain and how it is crucial to understanding your own body and its needs and limits. What would that do to someone to go without it for so long? And then suddenly have to grapple with it? Fertile fic ground, for sure.

Very preoccupied with Garak’s brain implant right now. What level of pain would trigger it? Like would it only kick in if he was actually being tortured, or would all pain of all kinds turn it on? I like to imagine it’s the latter and Garak went like fifteen entire years without experiencing any physical pain. Maybe he’d even stub his toe on purpose if he needed a mood booster.

And can you imagine the unbelievably difficult adjustment period he must have had after it was turned off? Getting a cut and expecting it to feel good. Waking up with a stiff neck after sleeping poorly and groaning in pain rather than moaning in pleasure. Finding out he’s not nearly as kinky as he thought he was. Maybe he didn’t used to mind at all if his needle pricked his finger but now he has to learn how to sew all over again without hurting himself.

[cucumbermoon]

Very preoccupied with Garak’s brain implant right now. What level of pain would trigger it? Like would it only kick in if he was actually being tortured, or would all pain of all kinds turn it on? I like to imagine it’s the latter and Garak went like fifteen entire years without experiencing any physical pain. Maybe he’d even stub his toe on purpose if he needed a mood booster.

And can you imagine the unbelievably difficult adjustment period he must have had after it was turned off? Getting a cut and expecting it to feel good. Waking up with a stiff neck after sleeping poorly and groaning in pain rather than moaning in pleasure. Finding out he’s not nearly as kinky as he thought he was. Maybe he didn’t used to mind at all if his needle pricked his finger but now he has to learn how to sew all over again without hurting himself.

#ds9 #star trek #star trek ds9 #elim garak #deep space nine #ds9 garak #ds9 the wire

[cucumbermoon]

Not too long ago I read an article about how to tell if your spouse is cheating on you. One of the signs is if they frequently check their phone and smile while they do it, then quickly put it away. I'm constantly doing that, but what I'm checking is my tumblr for Garashir content and my ao3 account to read comments on my Garashir fics. So I guess I'm cheating on my husband with the entire ds9/Garashir fandom. Which he probably expects at this point. When I think about it, we basically have an open marriage and Star Trek is our unicorn.

My husband saw the Tumblr app icon on my phone and came at me all sad and confused about why I had Tinder on my phone.

At first I was offended because, I was like “What’s wrong with you! You don’t recognize the Tumblr logo?!” But then I realized that in the real world it is more likely for a person to be trying to cheat on their husband than spend their days on a weirdass website from the original days of the internet to read sci-fi fanfic, swoon over Garashir fanart, learn about obscure historical events, and make sure Neil Gaiman is still alive.

#marriage and star trek #star trek #relationships #garashir #I walked in on him watching a youtube compilation of Borg Collective voices so we're even

[cucumbermoon]

Hah, I should have checked! Thank you.

Also, the author’s first name is Kelas.

Make them straight adjacent for the homies

[cucumbermoon]

Anyone have a link to this interview? I haven’t seen this before and it’s making me just a little bit rabid.

Make them straight adjacent for the homies

#let’s hear it for the not-quite-straights #and the not-at-all-straights #so tumblr basically #siddig el fadil #sid 🤝 andy: not quite straight #alexander siddig #star trek #deep space nine #ds9 #julian bashir

[cucumbermoon]

On a related note, my husband and I have a decade-long discussion about whether Ferengi wear nail polish, or if their fingernails are naturally colorful. We’re becoming increasingly convinced that it’s polish.

"Spock's eyeshadow" this and "Spock's eyeshadow" that- WHAT ABOUT QUARK'S EYESHADOW?!

#ferengi #nail polish #ds9

[cucumbermoon]

I literally laughed so hard making this edit I almost threw up

[cucumbermoon]

Garak is So much right from his first episode. Laura Palmer of Cardassia over here trying to get laid, foil a terrorist plot, AND work a retail shift, all while high as fuck. Dude’s schedule in Past Prologue is FULL.

[cucumbermoon]

One thing I haven't seen anyone talk about much is how abysmally rude Garak is to his customers. He has the worst customer service ethic I have ever seen in my life. He gets confrontational and argumentative with them. He flings Morn's pants at him. He gets super sarcastic with Quark about his lapels. It really makes me wonder about Cardassian customer service in general. Is Garak typical for a Cardassian in the customer service field? Is he being rude and argumentative because that's how Cardassians flirt and he's trying to put his customers at ease? Or is this a symptom of the fact that he hates the circumstances of his life and kind of wants to punish everyone for his reduced station? Did his years as the second most powerful person in the Cardassian Union make him feel like he deserves better than to be talked down to by a Ferengi bartender? I feel like there's a case to be made for all of these scenarios.

#Regardless he sucks at customer service and I'm kind of surprised his shop lasts seven years #Unless he's like the real soup nazi and his clothing is just so good people think it's worth it to put up with his rudeness #ds9 #star trek #star trek ds9 #elim garak #st ds9 #Tailor

[cucumbermoon]

They did Ziyal so dirty. She only existed to make Dukat look more complicated and Garak look less gay, but she was an awesome character and she should have gotten a life. And maybe dated Jake Sisko, because that would have been sweet, age appropriate (for both of them [*ahem* Jake dated grown women and it was weird]), and deliciously messed up in a perfect DS9 way. Just imagine Sisko grappling with the possibility that Dukat could become his in-law. They could even keep her little Garak-crush arc because a lot of us have gone through a phase where we developed feelings for someone much older because they seemed so mature and distinguished and safe. Just let her grow out of that stage and become her own person.

I know you guys don't go here but the Rose-Cass-Mia-Steph mutuals would adore Tora Ziyal of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Villain daughter with an unexplored tragic backstory who chooses good and has a talent she loves???

I need to talk about Ziyal, I love her so much

#ds9 #deep space nine #deep space 9 #tora ziyal