demonictacobeard

[demonictacobeard]

I usually like to think Adam gets to keep his wings (or at least a hell effected set?) but if Sinner Adam lost his wings………and then got raging drunk a few weeks after coming into the hotel

He would have a pair of tatted wings on his back when he woke up the next morning. Adam would be confused as shit and wonder who the fuck gave him the money to get them in the first place (Also low key panicking because he doesn’t remember if Heaven gave a shit about tattoos and if they would let him back in with them)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #sinner adam #Drunk Adam: God fucked me over? Fine store bought wings it is #Charlie: WHO GAVE YOU THE MONEY? WHERE DID YOU GO DID THEY SANATIZE? #Angel: Meh Husk did it in the kitchen #Husk: I was bored he had money and I’ve done the shit before I’m not sorry #I’m sorry but you give me an Angel who lost his wings he’s getting them inked in memoria #He must content himself with the ghost of grace #That he’s beginning to be unsure of if he deserved in the first place

[demonictacobeard]

It works in reverse too

Adam turning a tree into toothpicks with an ax: That eye ball swallowing son of a bitch brought my kids into an argument when he’s just pretending to be father figure of the year to piss you off? Two faced weak ass bitch. Will this tree just fucking die already?!

Lucifer, reclining on a huge rock like a sunning snake: You know I think he’s been trying to get under your skin on purpose lately, like he’s trying to ruin your progress, let’s get under his back

Adam turning away from the tree: I’m listening

Lucifer smiling in a vicious way: That suit of his is like a second skin, but it’s so ugly my eyes water so for the good of the hotel wouldn’t it be better if it was I don’t know green?

Adam, his wings flapping with vengeful happiness: Green and fucking white, we need to make him look like a shitty gardening bag

Lucifer hopping off the rock: Mammon will gag when we’re done

Vaggie later that day seeing them mess with sorcery: Uh what the hell are you two doing with a pentagram?

Lucifer smiling: Ruining Alastor’s day, my favorite future daughter in law

Adam rolling his eyes: She’s your only fucking future daughter in law

Vaggie debating what to do: When this blows up and he starts sharpening his carving knives I’ll say I saw nothing, but unofficially keep up the good work

Adam saluting her sarcastically: Yeah, yeah you aren’t helping and shit but you’ll laugh like a witch when it happens. At least take pictures Vag

Vaggie scowling because it’s Adam: Oh fuck you captain cuck. What are you doing that I’ll be able to take pictures?

Lucifer, putting a hand over a seething Adam’s mouth: Turning his suit green and white!

Vaggie:……God Damnit now i do have to take pictures

I feel like when Sinner Adam starts to get used to the idea of being in Hell for a while, and warms up to Lucifer (he knows him best out of these people and there’s a weird history) he would just……..

Annoy the ever living shit out of Alastor with him, knowing that Alastor can’t physically harm him or Charlie will get upset

Lucifer, ranting about Alastor: He had the nerve to call me flighty! Flighty. And the other day he said if he was starving he’d never try my flesh because it would taste of melancholy, which is outdated as fuck and disturbing. I know if you can learn how to say that’s the tea then you can Doomgle that it’s called depression now you radio station wash out. Damnit I hate him!

Adam, sipping a daiquiri in a styrofoam cup: You know what we should do? Scramble the signal of every radio in Pride, so they only play advertisements for TV’s

Lucifer, blinking: …….It’ll take some heavy sorcery, are you willing to try this time?

Adam, smirking: I will study for spite bitch, let’s fuck that deer up

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #guitarduck #adamsapple #cw cursing #sinner adam #hazbin hotel vaggie #Alastor mentioned #The Ruin Alastor’s Day Club continues #Adam: If that fake smile doesn’t die then I will never be fucking satisfied #Lucifer: Take this you manipulating piece of shit #Vaggie: My morals say no but my heart says make his shows yellow green

[demonictacobeard]

I HC Adam used to farm before he became an Angel. But heaven had other plans and didn’t need him to do that when he got there so he hasn’t gotten to farm in thousands of years. Months after he becomes a sinner he remembers he can do what the fuck he wants within reason at the hotel and takes it back up as a hobby instead of for survival

He’s like a fish in water, Adam scares the fuck out of Hell’s local fauna. Charlie supports this enthusiastically and over time Adam kind of lets her help because she keeps coming to fucking look at it anyway. However I think Lucifer is not allowed to help or even be within sixteen feet of the space unless he can prove to Adam he isn’t going to plant a god damn apple tree when Adam turns his back

#hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel #cw cursing #hazbin hotel lucifer #you can’t convince me otherwise #Where would Cain learn to farm from if not his parents #Adam and Eve invented farming #Eve is a western farmer type who’s proud of the crop #Adam farms like an angry old man with nothing to lose but his pride #Adam: I’m stuck in fucking hell and there’s a hill right behind this hotel that hill is mine now #Charlie: You’re taking an interest in something that is healthy??? Do you need things to farm? I can get things

[demonictacobeard]

You know how sinners retain their memories from their lives as humans? And so do Angels.

What if when Sinner Adam woke up in hell, a few wires crossed. A combination of how many realms he’s been in, and how long he’s been in heaven. And he didn’t remember heaven at first, he only remembered his life on earth.

What the fuck would the wait time for his memories to come back be like?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #He would not remember technology #He would have a blowout with Lucifer but in his mind it’s still an open wound so he’s more honest with his feelings #He would relearn certain curse words #so many things

[demonictacobeard]

How posting on this tumblr just is sometimes:

{Stares at Bible}

{Bible stares back}

{Starts grabbing a notebook and pencil}

{Bible experiences hope}

{I write Adam X Lucifer with backstory from the Bible}

{Bible cries}

{I kick my feet and keep writing}

#hazbin hotel #hellaverse #Do not get me on the wrong side of tumblr for this post I beg #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel adam #guitarduck #This is how writing them goes for me #I take canon off the rails sometimes but i always salute it on the way down

[demonictacobeard]

Lucifer, biting his nail after Charlie explains why Adam is going to the biblical settlement: Adam wants to see him?

Charlie, jumping up and down on her hooves: HE DOES

Lucifer: And you…..are we sure he’s not wanting to go just to tell Cain off for murdering Abel sweetheart?

Charlie shaking her head: No Dad, you didn’t see his face when i brought it up. That wasn’t the face you make when you’re mad at someone, he wants to see Cain. And I know it’ll do him some good. So will you come with us to take him there? You told me to never go there alone because the biblical sinners are so powerful

Lucifer, sighing because it is dangerous but at least if he’s there he can keep her safe: Yes, of course I’ll take you Char Char. I can take you both now if he’s up to it

An hour later, Cain the first murderer and gardener in Hell: What’s wrong, why are you knocking at my door so urgently? Josiah I swear if your hog got out again I will make you eat him. Ah, My king! Hello what are you doing here, it’s been many years since you’ve visited our home. Is this your daughter? She looks just like you

Charlie, reaching out with a gentle smile: Yes, hello. It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you

Cain, smiling and shaking her hand: All terrible, I assume Princess Charlotte. It’s a pleasure. Are you finally touring her around the rings to show her the whole kingdom Lucifer? I’d be happy to introduce her to my people with you

Lucifer, laughing awkwardly at Cain: Well thank you for the offer Cain, but I’m not. She’s got her own redemption project in the city she’s running so…...It’s actually why we’re here and it’s a funny story. Why’d I say that it’s the exact opposite of funny. Um. Oh fucking heaven this is harder then I thought it’d be

Cain, spotting Adam behind them and his ears sticking straight up: Have you found another of my original nephews?! I thought I’d met them all by the 1700’s, but the ears don’t lie. There’s so few sheep demons in hell besides us. What’s your name?

Adam, marching past a nervous Lucifer and grabbing a hold of Cain’s tunic: Damn. You little shit, you already forgot your old man’s face?

Cain, eyes widening he knows that voice and he hasn’t heard it in so long: Dad? Is, there’s no way. That’s you?

Lucifer: This is going about how I expected

Charlie, whispering: Shhh wait look at Adam’s hand dad, it’s shaking

Adam, using Cain’s shirt to pull him to his chest: It’s a long fucking story, and it sucks major ass at the end but it’s me alright. Dad’s here and I’m not going to fucking explode or anything, so hug me back before I get so embarrassed I forget to laugh about this goddamn sheep irony thing we’re both saddled with. Like honestly me and my son? That’s fucking cruel

Cain, bleating into tears it’s really him: Daaaaaad! Adam, bleating back he still can’t believe one of his children is here: Caaaaaain, see I can do it too

Charlie sniffing and wiping her left eye while Cain breaks down and almost rips Adam’s jacket hugging him so hard: I told you he missed him

Lucifer, smiling: You sure were right. I shouldn’t have underestimated this

Charlie, looking down at him: This what?

Lucifer, reaching up to poke his daughters cheek: Love

Charlie, trying to cheer Adam up: Hey I know Hell can be a bit much, and we do have bad stuff happen to us but it’s not all bad! There’s parts of Hell that are just so different, and it can be amazing. And hey, your son Cain is here! He’s actually kind of a big deal, the very first overlord and all. He’s retired now and is the leader of the biblical settlement outside of pentagram city if you want to……Adam?

Sinner Adam, staring down at Charlie with wide eyes because Heaven told him all his kids chose to be reincarnated because the winner and sinner system hadn’t been set up yet until when Adam died: Cain’s here?

Vaggie, going ice cold from surprise as she sees desperation on Adam’s face for the first time: Oh shit he was human underneath all that asshole

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #sinner adam #hazbin hotel charlie #biblical references #Heavy biblical ref #HC Adam has many many faults but fatherhood was not one #Him and Eve coparented like machines to keep the first human kids alive and well #Eve and Adam forgave him a long ass time ago while they were still alive for Abel #cw cursing #Cain: My father is in hell and he still loves me if I’m dreaming the one who wakes me dies #Adam’s most tender weak spot is for his kids and I’ll stand on that hc #Charlie: I’m going to teach a man dedicated to living biblically tech wise how to use FaceTime #Lucifer: It’d be easier to teach Adam how to drive a car #Charlie: He might try to run over Alastor with it though #Lucifer: I’m buying him a car

[demonictacobeard]

Charlie, trying to cheer Adam up: Hey I know Hell can be a bit much, and we do have bad stuff happen to us but it’s not all bad! There’s parts of Hell that are just so different, and it can be amazing. And hey, your son Cain is here! He’s actually kind of a big deal, the very first overlord and all. He’s retired now and is the leader of the biblical settlement outside of pentagram city if you want to……Adam?

Sinner Adam, staring down at Charlie with wide eyes because Heaven told him all his kids chose to be reincarnated because the winner and sinner system hadn’t been set up yet until when Adam died: Cain’s here?

Vaggie, going ice cold from surprise as she sees desperation on Adam’s face for the first time: Oh shit he was human underneath all that asshole

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie #sinner adam #cw cursing #biblical references #Watch me use the Bible for nothing it was ever meant to be used for #Lmao it’s my religion issues and I’ll use it when I NEED IT #Adam: My boy? #Meanwhile Cain hundreds of miles away thinks his dad has hated him for ten thousand years #I’ve gone off the rails with canon #Charlie: I must state a family reunion immediately

[demonictacobeard]

………..I must have it

#Spends all of my gold #The price of having a Lucifer pfp #385 thousand gold #Worth it #This is dragon city btw they choke you with in app purchase offers but I like to make new dragons so ideal with it

[demonictacobeard]

Adam, coming out of his room for the first time:……Alright what the fuck do you guys even do here? Therapy, or some shit

Lucifer who had been waiting for him by the door: Charlie has activities usually, and is more then willing to talk to residents about their feelings and how they ended up in hell so that’s like therapy. I’m surprised you know about that, has heaven finally implemented it?

Adam, grumbling: No Heaven doesn’t fucking have therapy, but for the last ten years the newer winners have been asking why and the older angels had to find out what the fuck it is

Lucifer, humming: I do have to wonder how all the therapists up there don’t fall from utter frustration

Charlie, watching them come down the stairs excitedly: Hi Dad! Hi Adam! I’m so excited you came down. How are you feeling today, do you think you might be up for an activity? Or ooh, I never got to show you around the whole hotel just to your room. Whatever you feel like! Adam, stepping back: I knew she was excited during the meeting but Is she always this fucking cheery? It’s like Emily has a long lost twin from Hell

Angel Dust, from the bar: It’s the new resident joy, you’ll get used to it lambchop!

Husk, snorting: You act like you don’t adore that girl

Angel, pointing at him with three pointer fingers: You, shut up

Lucifer, beaming with pride: She’s very passionate about her work, always has been

Adam, groaning as Charlie looks at him with glimmering eyes: Dear fucking god, shit alright, fine I’ll take the tour

Vaggie, walking up to them with her spear: Good, because todays activity is Alastor’s idea and I don’t trust him not to ‘accidentally’ scar you emotionally instead

Charlie, gasping: Vaggie! Come on, Alastor wouldn’t do that

Lucifer and Vaggie, deadpan: Yes he would

Adam, crossing his arms: I don’t know the fucker, I just beat his ass, but yes the shit he would. Do you see that smile he has going on all the time? I haven’t seen one so fake since Michael’s

Lucifer, gaging: Hech Mike

Adam, nodding: Fucking Mike

Vaggie, vaguely remembering the angel: Do you mean….the Mike who was your bosses boss, the one who came around and inspected the exterminator’s once every ten years. That Mike?

Adam: That’s the bitch, Vag

Vaggie, her cheek twitching in anger: The ARCHANGEL MICHAEL?

Adam: Adding his title doesn’t unmake him a bitch

Lucifer, laughing: Nothing can

Charlie, smacking her head: Awful uncle Mike! Dad told me about him, don’t worry Adam Alastor is nothing like him. The smile is just….a tool for him? It’s harmless

Adam, rolling his eyes: The bartender just looked at you like you lied to gods face and then fucking spat on it, but whatever. I’ll do the activities and shit, later, but only ones you’re in charge of- why does your face look like that?

Charlie singing to Vaggie, after grabbing a confused Adam’s elbow and happily dragging him on the tour: He trusts meeeee!

Adam, flushing: ONLY MORE THEN THAT FUCKING DEER!

Lucifer, following them: Thats still a little, you know

Angel, laughing at Alastor when he walked in ten minutes later: Hey Alastor, guess what sheep boy trusts the devil and the devil’s daughter more then you. How’s that make you feel?

Alastor, his smile becoming more genuine: Positively ‘devastated’

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel alastor #guitarduck #adamsapple #cw cursing #sinner adam #charlie morningstar #lucifer morningstar #Adam: Is she fucking glowing what the hell #You know how at a party you follow the one person you know? #Adam is doing that to Lucifer #He will die again before admitting it though #Hc they both hate Michael

[demonictacobeard]

I feel like when Sinner Adam starts to get used to the idea of being in Hell for a while, and warms up to Lucifer (he knows him best out of these people and there’s a weird history) he would just……..

Annoy the ever living shit out of Alastor with him, knowing that Alastor can’t physically harm him or Charlie will get upset

Lucifer, ranting about Alastor: He had the nerve to call me flighty! Flighty. And the other day he said if he was starving he’d never try my flesh because it would taste of melancholy, which is outdated as fuck and disturbing. I know if you can learn how to say that’s the tea then you can Doomgle that it’s called depression now you radio station wash out. Damnit I hate him!

Adam, sipping a daiquiri in a styrofoam cup: You know what we should do? Scramble the signal of every radio in Pride, so they only play advertisements for TV’s

Lucifer, blinking: …….It’ll take some heavy sorcery, are you willing to try this time?

Adam, smirking: I will study for spite bitch, let’s fuck that deer up

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #guitarduck #adamsapple #Let’s ruin Alastors day club #cw cannibalism

[demonictacobeard]

I was anticipating this more then i anticipated the new years countdown

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #guitarduck #adamsapple #We hit 100 folks #Congrats to all the writers #I’m buying you all cupcakes or something

[demonictacobeard]

I would read this RELIGIOUSLY

I will fucking write/rewrite the WHOLE DAMN SERIES where Lucifer married Adam instead of Lilith BUT WITH ABEL SETH AND CAIN and Charlie HAS A HAPPY FAMILY!

If no one else is ima do it. I might be doing it right now, who knows

#aaaaaaaaah #I would subscribe bookmark kudos #all of the above

[demonictacobeard]

Lucifer, having an idea for a new duck but nothing to write it down with: Fuck, I need a pen. What in the hotel would Charlie least mind me turning into a pen…..

Adam scoffing and plucking one of his feathers out: Oh for fucks sake, take it

Lucifer, born an angel who knows the wing culture that existed before Winner’s did, blushing: Holy shit, this explains so much about Eden. Uh Sure! I’ll take you on a date Adam, is later today alright? Charlie doesn’t have group therapy planned until tomorrow…….You haven’t been to the amusement park I have set up yet have you?

Adam, staring wide eyed at the smiling devil who takes his feather gently and poked it into his hat: What the fuck is happening?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #guitarduck #adamsapple #I am a whore for specific courting rituals #Feathers #Lucifer: I don’t know why he chose then to ask but I’m down as soon as I write out this design #Adam: SERA WHAT DIDNT YOU TELL ME ABOUT ANGEL FUCKING?! #Adam low key never tells him he didn’t mean it that way because he enjoyed the date more then he’ll admit #This doesn’t fit into the timeline of the series I’ve got going on #It’s just general guitar duck #Hc heaven gatekeeps angel culture from the winners #sinner adam

[demonictacobeard]

It’s the little things in life~

#Laughs in Lucifer pfp #Love it #thanks you guys!

[demonictacobeard]

Lilith, surprised when Adam’s contact picture shows up on her phone: Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re supposed to be dead aren’t you? I felt the deal break months ago

Adam, who got sick of his and Lucifer’s UST last night and made a move: I mostly lived bitch, I just had to ask YOU PICKED THE BORING ASS BEACHES OF PURGATORY OVER SEX WITH THAT MAN FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #adamsapple #sinner adam #guitarduck #hazbin hotel lilith #suggestive #cw sex mention #Lilith is in purgatory theory #Adam: You fumbled lady FUMBLED #Lilith: …..I’d tell you to go to hell but apparently when you do that you fuck my other ex husband #This doesn’t follow the timeline of the whole series I’ve got going on #Just general guitarduck content

[demonictacobeard]

Adam, still going through it, texting Lucifer because that’s the only fucker he knows here who he only hates most of the time: Why is a fucking pig lying on my bed?!

Lucifer, texting back right away: It’s hard being the only one of your kind in a place, he must have been so excited to hear you were here that he came to see you himself

Adam, using Doomgle for the first time to find pictures of ducks saying die in a fire: Die

Lucifer, torn between being pissed at the duck meme or loving it: You first, no that would be second wouldn’t it?

Adam, sending a rolling eyes Hellmoji: Oh no I’m dead, so fucking original. Not like I haven’t done this before, bitch nothing you say will piss me off more then dying from advanced aging

Angel Dust, accidentally reading the whole thing over his shoulder, an easy task: That’s where Fat Nugget is?! Fuck, why’d he run off there? I don’t wanna go into the depression cave, and I know Adam doesn’t want me to come knocking either

Lucifer, waving his hand and opening a portal into Adam’s room: I’ve got this. Adam! You can deposit the pig here into the waiting arms of his owner

Adam, shoving his hands through the portal while holding a whining Fat Nugget: Who’s miniature ham is this even?

Angel Dust, scooping Fat Nugget up: Mine! Nugget, my sweet little shit. Why’d you go and fall asleep in a lamb paddock?

Adam, flipping Angel off through the portal and slowly dragging his hand out of it: Wilbur got lonely, guess Charlotte isn’t entertaining after all huh?

Angel Dust, flipping him off back with his lower arms: Just shut up you shitty ass sheep, a Shepard would leave you behind on purpose

Lucifer, cutting that short by closing the portal: Charlie’s going to be so happy he spoke to someone today

Husk, cleaning his lemon juicer: She’ll be happier about it then Adam himself

Lucifer, shaking his head: No, trust me he lives for this shit. He’d rather argue then being left completely to himself. Because if he’s all alone he’ll get bored. He hates being bored

Angel raising a suggestive eyebrow: And…your majesty just how do you know that?

Husk, slapping his face because he warned Angel about teasing the King Of Hell a hundred times: He has fun undoing everything I do to keep his ass alive, doesn’t he?

Lucifer, staring at him silently before laughing a little too loudly: No reason!

Angel after Lucifer tugs his collar and leaves awkwardly: I think the king doth protest too much, Husk

Husk, sighing: I think you are doth interested, in the business of a man who can kill a seven deadly sin if he wanted to, too much

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #guitarduck #adamsapple #sinner adam #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #cw cursing #Husk tries so hard #Angel Dust the resident meddler #Fat Nugget tries to be a therapy pig but no one will let him #Lucifer: It’s totally normal to know so much about a man you hate #Lucifer: Right? #Meanwhile Adam is Doomgle’ing spider facts to use as future insults #He comes out of his room eventually

[demonictacobeard]

Guitarduck as the know your limits meme

#guitarduck #adamsapple #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #Adam: I was less pissy about this when Charlie told me he told Lilith the same damn answer decades ago