detrimental-desires
a hankering for humiliation
20; in love with words; NSFW thoughts of a girl who still doesn't know who she is but is afraid to find out
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Spell my name on the fridge now, with all your alphabet toys.
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Someone told me, “Stay away from things that aren’t yours.”
But was he yours, if he wanted me so bad?
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Don’t be d r a m a t i c, it’s only some plastic.
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No one will love you if you’re unattractive.
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If you're reading this
you are the cutest little princess/prince I ever did see!! I hope you’re having an amazing day filled with love and happiness✨💖🎀
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Aftercare is very important, guys. My daddy is very good at it. 💖 -Little L
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mommy and me
Why am I so scared? Why am I so scared of accepting your love? Why can’t I trust you with everything I have?
I don’t know what to do. My intimacy with you is something I never thought would be shared with anyone else but you view “intimacy” as one of your main characteristics. You’re publicly an intimate being and have no shame in it. I’m intimate for those I trust and in this sense...it’s only ever been you.
Why do I get so scared of seeing other girls on your blog? Why do I get so jealous when I know you value me the most? Do you want monogamy or something open? Is it bad that I can’t tell (and I’ve never been able to tell even since the beginning; as well as even AFTER you asked me to be yours? multiple times?) You’ve always been open and shameless to everyone; I begin to wonder often what trust and affection I’ve actually earned. You’re like this with everyone, but I’m the one you kiss and hug and to whom you say sweet things. Do you want me or do you want mommy? Do you love me or do you love mommy? I can’t ever tell but I wish you wanted me more. I’m never a true mommy. I feel like it sometimes but I can’t ever call myself one in good conscience. Other girls are prettier than me...but are they prettier than mommy? No, because you think that you have the best when mommy takes care of you. You never have to worry when mommy is in charge because she keeps you safe; and mommy never has to worry about you losing her trust because she knows that you’re afraid to let other people in this far. Mommy never worries; she gives her worries to me.
I’m not as pretty or as witty or as beautiful as other girls but you told me you loved me. You always say you love me and not mommy but it’s so hard knowing that you prefer to reblog other girls’ nice pictures when my back is turned. Is it bad that I’d prefer being included? Being told “this girl looks really nice! don’t you agree?” and afterwards, if you deemed it necessary or just wanted to say it to fill the jealous relationship stereotype: “but don’t worry, babe, you look nicer all the time!” but even THAT’S not necessary.
It’s so hard to believe that you want me more than you want mommy when mommy is all you like to be public about to people whom you don’t even know. You don’t talk about me anywhere, even with people we know; you don’t make us public with the exception of a changed relationship status. But your relationship with mommy (who is never clearly defined as me) is clearly more important to you, at least enough for you to post it publicly for the whole world to see it online.
I don’t feel appreciated, I don’t feel loved...I feel used. I feel like you’ve finally found someone who understands you and chooses to love you through and through no matter what and instead of really really trying to make sure they’re okay and try to analyze where they’re coming from (even if you need to force me to help you figure it out), you take advantage and you self-indulge because heck, if this gal can take whatever kinks/fantasies/interests you have at this point, she can handle anything...right? What’s one more dildo? What’s one more plug? What’s a step further into this lifestyle among someone who’s open about it to all of his internet friends, and his girlfriend, who is so lost and feels like she can’t be herself without hurting people, so consequently chooses not to be?
Sometimes I feel like I need to leave. I feel like I need to really make sure that it was me you wanted all along and not just mommy, but at that point, it’s too late. I hate breaking up because I hate getting back together with someone I broke up with. I don’t want to “try again” or “get back together” with you. I want to make this work, but...I feel so sheltered. I feel like I’m trapped within myself. I can’t express what I want because your needs are always more important (in my eyes). I’m terrified that the day I choose to reveal myself, you will not want me anymore because you won’t be able to manage taking care of me. And how dare I confide in you what I want and need from a relationship? Of course that admission warrants a punishment towards me: a break up. A lack of you in my life which, I’ve proved time and time again (or, at least tried to), I cannot imagine.
So...what now? Do we break up and figure things out or do we stay together and figure things out and risk you hating me for one day showing my true colors? I worry that if we choose to stay together, then we will never come to terms with the real problems that were causing my distress and worse, choose to repress them and act like they don’t matter because there are simply just other things to worry/be happy about and focus on. As for breaking up? Simple: I am afraid that if we break up then we won’t get back together. If I break up with someone, it’s because we need to be apart. I don’t want to ever go back to an ex again. I made that mistake once, and while it was a totally different person who doesn’t match up to you in any way, the concept of going back to something that once broke me and made me feel like this is something of which I need to steer clear in my life if I’m ever going to be happy.
Please help me. I don’t know what to do for us. I don’t know how to be happy and I don’t know if that’s the anxiety or depression talking or if this issue really is that serious; but I need help. I love you...but do you really love me for me? Would you still love me if mommy wasn’t ever in the picture? I guess I’ll never know. We’re in too deep now.
#triggerwarning#notsurewhatcountsassuchbutstill#ineedhelp#i'mlost#idon'tknowwhattodo#whycan'tijustbehappy
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Daddy, I tucked myself in tonight just for you. I promise to get sleep after I typed this cos I just finished my cup of sleepytime. Dis one was peach flavored, daddy! I wanted to try something new cos I thought it would make you happy to know I was being adventurous; just how you like your little girl to be. I have my bear next to me and he's the bestest cuddle buddy in the world (well, besides you, daddy 🙈) and we both miss you a lot but we know you're sleeping so we won't text you to wake you. Daddy, sometimes I think about what it would be like if it were just you and me. Me in my favorite overalls or my favorite dress and you in your button-down shirt/brown pants combination that I love so much; just taking on the world together. Walking on beaches we've yet to explore together and flying kites almost as high as our dreams. With a bow in my hair to let you hang onto so that I don't wander off into dangerous places, I mightily step forward into the world and always out of my comfort zone. But you're always on the other side, daddy, even if something I'm trying isn't something you've done before. You're still letting me see you as the light at the end of the tunnel and letting me believe that when I finally reach you, I'll be rewarded in hugs and kisses and tickles and I will be at peace again. That feeling, daddy...if it could last forever, I don't think I would ever need to worry again. My doubts would disintegrate; my worries would wash away; my constant state of anxiety would come to a complete stop. Daddy, if the world were just me and you, even for 30 minutes...I would be happier than ever. Luckily for me, I get those kinds of 30 minutes a lot but lately I've been feeling lonely. You befriend my family so well and they reciprocate just as well, something that has never happened with ANY of the other boys who could never amount to doing what you do to/for me. Daddy my eyes are getting heavy and I think it's time for me to have sleepies. Please always know, daddy, even when you're not around and I wish you were, I still love you with all that my heart can hold. I'm so full of love for you, daddy, and...I want to spend my life giving it to you. Goodnight, daddy. 💖 -luv your pwincess 👑💘🎀
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