disgruntledit

[disgruntledit]

OVERWATCH - INSURRECTION

[disgruntledit]

I hate tumblr as much as the next guy but at least we still see dashboard posts in chronological order instead of the bullshit random order of instagram and facebook where stuff from days ago appears right below stuff that was just posted

[disgruntledit]

[disgruntledit]

I want to wish you a happy birthday tomorrow. I want to laugh with you. I want to see you smile again. I just want to start building your trust again, but that's not up to me, now is it?

#happybirthday

[disgruntledit]

I guess I never really anticipated how difficult this was going to be. Building up your life with someone and then having to start over from scratch is no easy task. It's funny though, the longer it's been the more I am starting to come to terms with it. I'm never going to be able to hold you through the night, I'll never wake up with your hair in my mouth, and I'll never get to kiss you and call you my hime anymore. These things still hurt to think about. I think this will end up being good for me. I'm finally getting the help you so desperately wanted me to seek, but on spite of you at the same time. I'm sorry that it was too late. I've been more open with how I feel to my friends, something that probably wouldn't of come out of this if I wasn't dealing with the resentment and grief. I'm sorry about how things played out that Tuesday night. I made you feel unsafe and scared and I'm not happy about that now. I was scared and hurt and I apologize. You deserved way better. I'd try to play it out different now, but hindsight is 20/20, isn't it? There is a lot that I still want answers for and a lot that I still don't want to think about, but I want you to know that I'm still here for you. I know it's moot point and you' ll probably never read this, but I need to say it. If you need anything at all, I will be there for you. Before you were my girlfriend, you were my best friend for ten years. I'm not quite ready to give that up I guess. I don't care when, I really don't care where, just call me and I'll be there. I hope you're doing okay, and I hope that you're stronger than I am. I'm sorry I pushed you away, I'm starting to see where I fucked up bad. It'd be nice to have you in my life again, but I think it's far too soon for either of us. Maybe we'll see each other once we're older and laugh about the good times we had. You brought me a lot of peace, and a lot of happiness, but you also brought me a lot of anxiety and struggles. I really wouldn't trade any of that for the world. You helped me grow into a better person, and I'm still using the land you tilled to keep growing. It's funny, you kind of ended up being my clear water's surface. I hope you are stronger than me and you can stay away from this blog. If you do, please like, just so that I know this hasn't fallen on deft servers. I've been struggling to keep away from you by means possible.  l've failed a couple of times and went to your blog. It hurt a lot, but I guess that was the point. I wanted to die after I saw you in pixel form. I want to die looking at doodles of you. I want to die thinking about your lips pressed against mine. Everything still hurts and I think about you constantly, but I'll somehow find a way to make it through, or die trying. I was not being the best person I could while we were together. I want to change that. You deserved better. I'm sorry that it couldn't be a better me.

[disgruntledit]

How could I of fucked everything up so bad? I was in a great realationship, with an even more amazing girl, but it was never enough for me. I'm starting tolook back and realize all of the fucked up shit that I put her through. Maybe she was right, maybe I should finally seek help. With the way losing her is affecting me, yeah that's probably the case.

I've been to the lake three times this week. I don't know why I keep going back. Maybe I'm hoping I'll see you there. Maybe I want to hold on to these meories as long as I can, so I keep reviving old ghost and letting them comsume me. I wihs we could of been okay. I wish that we could of made it through. There was too much stress an our bridge burned. I'm not happy about it. I'm actually on the verge of tears every night, and I wake up from a dead sleep when I dream of you. This shit is rough. I hope it's going better for you. You have a support system that you can trust, while I don't really trust anyone.   Tomorrow I'm going to start looking for a shrink. Tomorrow things will start to get better. Maybe I'll finally get better. Maybe I'll finally be able to show you that I'm better, even if only for a moment. I'm sorry I never did this while we could of been saved. I was stubborn. You leaving has been really hard and I can't make it through without you anymore.

[disgruntledit]

She’ll be gone. 

All of her things removed, and she’ll be gone. 

You’ll find long red hairs on everything you own, wondering just how long these remnants of her have been lingering around., 

She’ll be gone, because you pushed her away.  She’ll be gone because you didn’t treat her right.  She’ll be gone because she deserves better than you. 

You’ll try you hardest to get through this, but everyday you want to die.  You’ll get a text message, from her. An SOS alert, your heart will jump,  You’ll start to worry and panic, and then you realize that it was a mistake. 

She’s gone, and you can’t do anything about it now.  She’s gone and has left you with a void where you though you were once whole.  She has taken this part of you. It will be hers forever. 

You’ll have to learn to live without. Live for long enough that the void is nothing but summon place and you start to fool yourself into thinking that you re whole again. 

You’ll avoid any notion of her. You’ll forget she exists, you’ll forget you memories, only because they bring too much pain now. 

There are too many memories. I need to start over. I need to leave. I just want to stop hurting. I want to feel nothing. Please help me, because I’m unraveling at the seams and I’m not sure how much longer these threads can hold. 

I could of been better. I could of gotten help, but this is my choice. I’m sorry for transferring my pain onto you. 

Goodbye, R.  

#sorry #breakups #everything hurts

[disgruntledit]

[disgruntledit]

someone: don't overreact

me, already digging my grave and shovelling dirt on myself: i'm not

[disgruntledit]

I'm so happy that I share everything with you, hime.

Never did I think I’d have what I have with someone at any given point in my life, but I do. I’m not sure what I’ve done to be with someone who cares, understands, supports, and loves me - I’m so glad I do though. I’m glad it’s with my best friend too.

#i'm still mad about it #Fuck #B

[disgruntledit]

No Face Drinking Tea and Eating Cake :)

*I recently deleted my Ghibli blog so I will be reposting the old Ghibli gifs from there on this blog*

[disgruntledit]

At least he bowed when he was defeated.

Vicious spinning hook kick in a taekwondo tournament. A counter to a step-in side kick to boot.

[disgruntledit]

No, you're thinking of serendipity. Sephora is one of the cities that God razed because he didn't like all the sin that was going on there.

Wtf is sephora

It sounds scary

[disgruntledit]

Sometimes I feel like I have that kind of relationship with my depression. I'll go about my day, doing things as I please and then sudden.... WHAM. "You should probably kill yourself. " and I'm left here, trying to fight with it. Trying my best just to continue the show, but this jackass decided that he needed to put his two cents in and ruin everything. Sorry, I think I need help.

Hey what’s up I’m in my room, alone, really tired both physically and mentally, and I’m watching comedian vs heckler videos on YouTube 

[disgruntledit]

You're wel-cum

[disgruntledit]

I'm done.

[disgruntledit]

Lucio just spouted some racial slur in robot. Can you hear how offended Bastion is with his shit? Just a bee bop. Jeez. You kids need to learn about Omnics.

“Hey Bastion! Check this out!”

Probably the cutest interaction, tbh

#Overwatch #Omnic #Lucio is a racist with metal legs