blessed
spoilers for aventurine's past & 2.1. nightmare. insecurity. gender neutral reader. angst/hurt with comfort. :3 super duper extra soft aventurine please handle with care. i hope i wrote this well (*´꒳`*) also i hope that the metaphors made sense..... i actually wrote a fic this time gasp
written as a part of personal memoires event by @thexianzhoujade. prompt used is viii. “it’s okay if you can’t catch your breath, you can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest.” | atlas: two.
"...welcome to this sad world, kakavasha..."
that same dream, playing on his head over and over again as if to remind him of something he won't ever forget—the day he was born, followed by the day he lost his mother, his sister, and ultimately himself.
his situation forced him to adapt and grow up earlier than the other kids his age. when he was supposed to be in the safety of his mother's loving embrace and snuggled up beneath a warm blanket, little aventurine had to escape from the katicans hot on his heels, carrying the last wishes of his mama and big sis—which was for him to stay alive, for he is the child blessed by gaiathra herself. but is he really blessed, if he's stripped away from all that is dear to him?
the screams and cries of his people still haunt him in this dream, before they're slowly drowned out by the sound of raindrops hitting the dry and barren ground of his home planet as he ran, ran, and kept running—obeying his sister's wishes before she sacrificed herself, all to protect the her dearest brother, a selfless act even he doesn't understand why she would ever do that. guilt eats away at his heart whenever he recalls her last words, reminding him of his failure to protect the most important people in his life.
aventurine the stratagem, one of the ten stonehearts, the senior manager of IPC's strategic investment department—all these titles meant nothing to him, seeing as they serve to remind him of the shackles they placed around his wrists, how he can still feel the weight of the harsh and thick metal tightly wrapped around his neck as he works his little body to the bone. to him, the only title that truly shows his true self is the one on his neck—something to be owned, who's only worth so much as sixty tanbas, something his current self would have no problem with spending. heck, he can spend millions of credits at once and still have billions left in his account, but to his poor, teen self? it was his market value, showing just how worthless he is, and he still is—to himself, at least.
"...ugh..." forcing himself awake, he finds himself laying on the hotel's million-credits bed, his pajamas halfway unbuttoned, and the blanket forming a mound beside him—ah, it's you, curled up beneath the blanket you hogged from him.
for a moment, the sight soothed aventurine's heart and silenced the voices in his head. it truly astonished him that you had such an impact on his entire being, but it's not entirely mind-boggling either, for you were the one who picks up pieces of his shattered heart, put them back together with so much love and care, and place it back into his chest where it belongs—but not before worming yourself into it, settling down in the cold and empty space to paint it with your color. you brought the rotten heart back to life with the gentleness of your touch, slowly but surely convincing him that he deserves to be happy, to be loved.
he stares at you, smiling solemnly before he gets lost in his thoughts again—wondering if you were in your right mind when you confessed your love to him that day with a gaze that looks oh-so-dreamy, when your eyes seem to shine brighter than the stars in the sky everytime your gaze locks with his lightless one—that look you reserved for him and him alone—does he, someone so weak and imperfect, deserves it? don't you see how pathetic he actually is?
for so long, aventurine always thought that if he just keeps spoiling and showering you with money, you'll surely stick around, that maybe just like everyone else, you desire something for him too—that was what his anxiety and fear said to him in his head, ruining his confidence yet again, or perhaps he's never truly confident after all, always clutching his chips for dear life beneath the table while having the most cocky grin on his pretty face, fooling not only everyone, but also himself.
if only he knew that you would rip your heart clean apart to help his beats, that you would let him take the oxygen straight out of your own lungs if it helps him to breathe a little bit easier—giving it your everything to try and bring him back to life.
—like right now, gliding your fingertips across his cheek to wipe away the crystalline tears that escaped his eyes without his consent. when did you wake up? was he too deep into his head to notice that concerned look on your face? was he too busy loathing himself to realize that you have been trying to make him see just how wonderful he actually is?
"tell me, is something wrong?" your voice, as smooth as silk and as gentle as a mother's embrace, broke the silence of the room, snapping him back to reality—something he dreaded before. now? not so much, because it has you in it.
aventurine shakes his head, closing his eyes briefly to stop the tears from rolling down his face before his lips are pulled up to form a tight smile, "it's nothing serious, but why are you awake—"
"no, i don't want to talk about myself," you cut him off, sensing the emotions that are about to bursts out of him after being bottled up for so long, "it doesn't look like 'nothing serious', would you... like to talk about it? it's fine if you don't, too,"
please stop, if you keep being so sweet to him, he might just breaks down into thousands of pieces. but at the same time, he really wants to stay like this forever—no, he needs this, your pampering, your love, and you. he might sound greedy, but if you yourself are willing, then who is he to decline an angel's favor?
he doesn't reply, but you already know everything and there's no need for words—you simply pulled him close and rest his head on your shoulder, and that's it. that's the only thing you need to do for him to break the protective wall guarding all the emotions inside, which comes down in the form of salty tears that flows down his eyes, dampening your pajamas—not like you mind though.
"it's okay, you're a strong child, kakavasha—i'm proud of you, you know?"
proud... something he's never thought of feeling before, nor does he expect someone to be proud of him. his grip on your back tightens, shifting his body closer to yours like a baby that seeks his mother's warmth. the facade of the arrogant and haughty gambler breaking down completely, revealing the little boy who only desires affection and love within.
to him, your touch feels like the warm light of the stars, doing your best to lit up the dark sky to accompany the lone moon and envelop him in your warm light, letting him know that he's not alone.
"you... you meant that?" aventurine lifts his head up, eyes glistening with the remnant of tears and pain, his voice was brittle, as if he was on the verge of breaking down (again).
the sight causes your eyes to softens and a mirthful chuckle escapes your chest, "what kind of question is that?"
you bring your hands up to cup his cheeks, thumbs grazing his skin to remove the traces of misery from his face. beautiful, absolutely and utterly mesmerizing—those were the words that formed themselves inside your brain as your eyes ran down his features. how does one have the ability to hurt this sweet boy? if only you knew him back then, you would've iced the bruises on his back and tucked him away somewhere safe—you would've protected the light in his eyes, made sure that it won't fade away.
"i love you,"
his frown falters, his lips curling up in genuine joy, "do you?"
"have i ever lied to you?" you raised an eyebrow, now petulantly pouting at his constant doubting—a playful act to lighten the mood.
aventurine chuckles at your adorable expression as he loosen his hold on you, leaning down to press his forehead against yours, "no, no, it just... amazes me how easy it is for you to give your heart away to me," yet another subtle hint of insecurity from him—the feeling of undeserving of your affection.
"you're easy to love," you reply rather quickly, with a small shrug as if this was no big deal for you—and it wasn't, and will never be one.
his smile widen as he tilts his head, not saying another word and instead, opting to express his gratitude with a slow and tender kiss, his hands resting on your cheeks, holding you as if you're a fragile porcelain that might break if he were to tighten his grip—and he's not taking any risk. he can't lose you too—not after you poured love into every cracks you found in his soul, marking him as yours—every bone in his body, every drop of blood, every nerve and sinew in his mind, are yours, and only yours.
the kiss lasted for more than a few seconds until you ran out of breath and pulled away from him, a single thread of saliva connecting your bottom lips together. aventurine wishes he could kiss you forever though, for your lips taste as sweet as the honeyed dews that drip from the budding lotus-flower—the taste his lips are not forgetting anytime soon (or ever, for that matter).
the room is quiet for a long moment, the only audible sound being his and your labored breaths mixed together. he flashes a gleeful smile at you, "thank you. for everything,"
you nod, once again closing the distance between you two in order to peppers his pretty face with kisses as a reply, and oh how heavenly it feels—reminding him of the taste of rain in his homeland, reminding him just how blessed he truly is.
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