flowers-that-sing

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COLLAB WITH ALTEREDSAL OM INSTA!!!

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I have been waiting all year to post this.

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Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

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for everyone who may need to hear this: your trans[something] label is about where you wanna come, not about where you start.

you don't have to identify as transmasc if you are afab.

you don't have to identify as transfem if you are amab.

your agab means nothing. your identity means everything.

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had a vivid dream where there was a "play as Kim" mod and I was super excited

after like 2 mins gameplay Harry just turned around looking scandalised and was like "Ohgod... It's me, Kim. *I'm* Grandpa Piss!"

he refused to elaborate even after I savescummed and exhausted all dialogue options

then a notification flashed like "THOUGHT GAINED: GRANDPA PISS" and I went to the thought cabinet screen. all it said was "What the fuck does he mean by that."

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"Don't be a Job Hopper" 1940s Disney WWII propaganda poster

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Eddie wants in on this.

(He’d also appreciate bites)

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atonement and the secret garden....

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This is gold this, absolute gold, the most over the top melodramatic hysterical ridiculous thing I’ve ever read

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i've looked through your blog and i am a bit in love with your art and how it radiates joy of creation; i love how you use different (brush?) textures on your digital works and leave visible strokes that seemingly serve no direct purpose. i think your character posing and placement is very pleasant, it feels like you use soft line work for the whole subject and starker, more direct lines on details. i really enjoy your art👍

hey hey, thanks for the sweet message. My work is very process based in general. I really love to play around with inconcistancy and imperfection, and i enjoy people like that about my work. When i make work, it's genuinly because it's something that makes me feel like nothing else. I get a thrill out of it that i don't other places. Often, after classes or days working on things, i am fully covered in paint, pastel, charcoal, whatever, because my markmaking tends to absord me so much. When i work digitally, i don't really like to follow any of the traditional digital art rules, i make the majority of my own brushes and enjoy playing with textures- its just how i've always done things.

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since ive had a gap in new art and prob wont be able to update again until i finish some larger scale stuff in a month or so- i’m wondering if anyone has any questions about pretty much anything? artistic process, supplies, influences? etc.

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i rlly like ur composition, i wanna know about your process :D

thank uuu !! yeah so like. composing a scene for me generally begins with a vague idea that i want to get down as quickly as possible- and for me that usually starts with finding a setting. I knew that i wanted to draw a) a group of roomates gossiping in a crowded kitchen and i wanted there to be b) one figure in the extreme foreground and c) lots of plants. i do use some tools to figure out perspective, mainly the csp perspective ruler. Usually i start by finding a picture i like similar to the vibe im going for- but instead of referencing anything else- im purely interested in perspective. sorry to anyone who is shocked i dont generate all of my perspective purely by myself- i can draw in perspective fairly well but i struggle to make straight lines and this is easier to make grids with than the line tool lol ^_^ i try to use it kinda more like spellcheck on typos than like something to fully rely on. this is the video i learned this trick from:

i saw the left photo and realllly loved how the cabinets alligned with the wall- so i used my ruler tool to draw out my inital plotted points from the image- basically the linear movements i was most interested in and then i turned off the image layer and worked with those lines and the ruler tool to move on. eventually i had this:

which was enough for me to put my characters in for the inital round. if you notice- i made a looot of further adjustments as i go on. this sketch is not a final layout, its so my characters have somewhere to be! i cannot draw someone standing on a floor if theres no floor, nor leaning on a table that doesnt exist. i can’t draw my characters without a background, but i also cant finish my background without accounting for how my characters can comfortably exist in it!!

this was the like.. very basic start. i knew the positions of two characters- but i needed to change a lot not only to fit them better but to allow for the other two figures i had planned.

okay.. a little better. i widened the kitchen, closed the fridge door.. added a chair and fit in all the figures.. but this is waaay too dramatic. only two figures are actually interacting- and they are at wildly different energy levels!

this is where things started to make a little more sense characterwiss, so i was ready to refine backgrounds and figures and unite the two.

inital base sketch. much better layout.

okay- this is where im getting my footing but things seem.. really really off. You can see me working on my framing here- theres some good linear movement from left to right here- but not vertically. It’s hard to notice the figure in the far back, so i need to redirect the viewers eye to move upwards as well!

this is where i decided to zoom out, add an interesting vertical element to the left of the image and make it clearer whats happening in the foreground. i had to account for some stuff by adjusting the cropping, but i paid attention to that as well.

annnd- thats what a clean sketch looks for me! i have all the elements of my scene accounted for, and things are clean enough to read.

the next step for me would be transfer! essentially- I print the image of my sketch out, resizing and taping pages together so my sketch matches the size of the paper i want to paint on, and then i use a lightboard to transfer my sketch with pencil onto my paper. Then i refine the sketch a few times on paper before stretching my watercolor paper (essentially just prepping for painting) and inking with a brush and colored ink before going in with watercolor, gouache and ink, then usually finishing with marker, colored pencil, pastel and ink. it’s a lengthy process but a lot of fun lol. but sketches for me can be like.. 15 layers of different roughs until im happy with just the sketch. there were more images but im on mobile and theres a 10 image limit 😭😭 im a bit masochistic but i believe that if i dont have a good sketch i dont have a good painting!!

#HUH #this is so cool #i don’t understand your process at all! i love it!!! #love seeing how everyone does it #yours is very complex it’s interesting to me

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my parents have no issue with my art being explicit or sexual and are very supportive and this is great. the issue is they’re too supportive. my dad will whip out his phone and show neighbors we barely know paintings of naked trans men on their knees and be like ^_^ im so proud of my son!!!

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steve who never learned how to love right.

who knows his mother’s fear of his father the way he knows his father’s right hook in the curve of his hand and the half-moon scars in his palm.

steve who knows how to love the same way he knows cold bath water with no bubbles, as a necessity rather than a luxury. as something he should never bother trying to earn because he was born unworthy.

steve who meets eddie and doesn’t know what to do with the immediate and intense outpouring of love and devotion, who has never been wanted or sought out in such a visceral way. who doesn’t know how to find a way to make it fit in his body when there’s barely enough room within his ribcage for his own heart, aching and perpetually empty.

steve who’d rather leave eddie snapped in two like a fallen tree branch than be the foot that steps on it. who knows it’ll only hurt worse the longer he lets it go on, because he might have his mother’s eyes but it was his own that saw them busted and blue from the calloused knuckles of the hand that looks like his. it’s his own fingers that snap and break as he curls them into his skin, but his fist is unmistakably his father’s.

steve who wouldn’t know the taste of love if it was in the blood he licked from his own palms. if it was in the marrow, deep and pulsing, of the beating thing inside his chest.

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AO3 Subscribers Poll

(please reblog and share for a bigger reach <3)

#11

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leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this