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protoctist · 13 hours
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via trans.pl8s
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protoctist · 20 hours
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yea im wearing the kill shoes and the die pants
yea im wearing the shoes that squeez your feet and kill you and the pants with the rotating blades on the inside that make you die
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protoctist · 2 days
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touch me while your bros play team fortress - taylor swift if she was awesome
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protoctist · 2 days
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protoctist · 2 days
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opening her nudes in emacs
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protoctist · 3 days
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to the cute lush employee that they/them'd me and then gave me a free moisturizer sample i love you and i hope you experience nothing but good and joy in your life
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protoctist · 3 days
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protoctist · 3 days
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i resent you for being RAISED RIGHT i resent you for being TALL i resent you for NEVER FACING ANY OPPOSITION AT ALL!
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protoctist · 4 days
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reblog w the song lyrics in your head NOW. either stuck in yr head or what yr listening to
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protoctist · 4 days
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When you accidentally type “I’m alated” instead of elated
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protoctist · 5 days
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loving women is one of the best things one can do on god's beautiful green earth
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protoctist · 6 days
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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
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protoctist · 6 days
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here's what I've learned to never pay full price for, because people are giving these items away for free or almost free on Craigslist, Nextdoor, Facebook, at Goodwill, and on eBay (which has a local pickup section) in every sufficiently populated location in the USA.
cost of acquiring these items ranges from "carrying it home from the sidewalk" to "getting a friend with a car to help you pick it up" which is the same amount of effort as going to IKEA for worse quality that costs more, with the notable exception of it being a pain in the ass to coordinate with craigslist sellers, and you often have to wait and watch for what you want to actually show up. it took me about a year to find an acceptable gamer chair left out on the sidewalk, for example. but they cost $100+ new, so I chose to wait.
a lot of this stuff is the kind of thing you don't necessarily intend to keep, just to use in transitional housing or until you can afford a better one.
1. printers of any kind. basic office inkjets are free. ink is easily refillable or has generic ink cartridges way cheaper than brand name for any inkjet up to about 2015, not sure how difficult the newer smart printers are to hack but there's no reason to own a newer one because printing technology has not improved since about 2005. you want a color laser for making zines and wheatpastes? it's on Craigslist RN and someone's mom is desperate to get rid of it
2. bedframes
3. desks
4. tables
5. chairs
6. bookshelves, nice oak bookshelves that don't bend like al dente spaghetti when you put books on them, are rotting on sidewalks rn because they didn't fit in someone's house. go get them
7. scanners. I find a working scanner by a dumpster at least once a quarter, and I don't pick them up because I already have one that I picked up from a dumpster years ago
8. hot tubs. everyone thinks they want a hot tub and that the maintenance and upkeep will be worth it, and they are wrong. Craigslist.
9. sofas, with the caveat that if you are in a bedbug region like New York State you need to be very confident in your bedbug screening skills
10. quality leather shoes. these last forever and are expensive new. eBay is best for these
11. plates, glassware, silverware. all of these are able to be sterilized to whatever standard you feel comfortable with but if you eat in restaurants you've already put a fork in your mouth that hundreds of people have drooled on so try not to fool yourself
12. televisions and computer monitors
13. houseplants. similar to the bedbug warning above, you need to screen these for pests like fungus gnats and mealybugs
14. dressers, wardrobes, china hutches, cabinets, chests of drawers, etc
15. mirrors
16. clothes hangers
17. moving boxes
18. mattresses to a certain extent. I don't like secondhand used mattresses but unstained, unused mattresses are surprisingly common, especially since the foam mail order mattress boom started and people keep getting told by the mattress companies to just get rid of/keep any mattresses they want to return for flaws or wrong sizes or whatever. bedbug warning on this obviously
19. sheets and towels. you gotta launder them obviously
20. basic clothing, especially for kids. normie type clothing is so numerous people often just throw them away because they can't get anyone to take them
21. kitchenware like cooking utensils and pots n pans. don't use chipped or scratched Teflon/nonstick if you can help it. everyone needs one basic steel chef knife, which can be sharpened and maintained indefinitely. people throw these away CONSTANTLY
22. household consumables like laundry soap and dish soap. people often accidentally buy the wrong brand, scent, or develop allergies and want to get rid of extra
23. pet supplies like collars, leashes, dog crates, litter boxes, litter itself, dog beds, toys, carriers, etc
24. medical equipment of all kinds. people who take care of all kinds of patients end up with tons of leftover, sealed, miscellaneous stuff when that person recovers or dies, and they often give it away. adult diapers, hospital beds, IV stands, crutches, walkers, wheelchairs, fracture boots and splints, knee braces, canes, catheter packs, ice packs, heat packs, sterile paper sheeting, gauze, slings, over-the-door stretching and rehab pulleys, mattress protectors, etc
25. washers and dryers, both the basic household cube type and the small twin tub or rock tumbler type. people upgrade these when the old ones are still working, just squeaky or a little weird or sometimes just old
26. vacuum cleaners. secondhand ones are sort of icky but you can get rid of the ickiness by wiping them down with a rag and isopropyl alcohol inside and out. use an exacto or utility knife to slice off the hair and string wrapped around the roller. buy a new filter on Amazon. people throw away vacuums that work perfectly all the time because they don't actually know how to clean them out or do maintenance. bedbug and pet hair warning obviously
27. microwaves
28. refrigerators
30. lamps
I will probably come back and add to this but I have to go to the store. enjoy all your free crap. this is my final message. goodbye
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protoctist · 7 days
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Spur-throated grasshopper, 8"x8" acrylic on canvas
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protoctist · 8 days
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Old as shit skinny white woman in bed hooked up to 200 tubes and machines surrounded by her crying family, she looks up towards the eldest daughter and raises her frail hand. Everyone stops, listening raptly. She coughs twice and then clears her throat, and beckons the daughter closer. ‘i should’ve eaten her pussy. I should’ve rawed that roast beast like a rabid dog on its last legs. I would’ve made her bleed you know. She would’ve thought she came so hard that her period started. The squirt would’ve drowned me, but I’d swallow every last drop of rna so I could sequence it for the years to come. They’d have called me the krypt keeper. I would’ve chewed so hard her gynecologist would’ve woke up in the middle of the night sweating like a stuck pig. But I didn’t. That’s why I’m surrounded by you fucking bozos.’ With her final words she breaths her agonol breath and falls backwards before flatlining, leaving her family in the quiet hospice room stunned and teary eyed in the wake of her passing.
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protoctist · 8 days
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protoctist · 8 days
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And the day was bright and fine And the highway sign said: "Martinaise welcomes you"
more TMG/DE bc i deserve it after passin my class today :D i know this song is abt....... sth completely different but this is once again super self indulgent so um <3 (i'll probably revisit these doodles in the future i just missed drawing them)
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