girlboss-revan
pure pazaak
Erin / 21 / Revan did nothing wrong [COMMISSIONS OPEN]
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Mala cursed lightly as she flipped over the cards she laid out over the table. Not even close.
“What’s the point of this magic bantha-shit if it isn’t even that useful,” she muttered, shuffling her cards and laying them down again.
Four, one, six, three…
The next string of curses were much harsher as she flipped over the cards.
“Are you trying to use the Force to cheat at pazaak?” A voice broke through her muttering.
Mala’s snapped her head up, suddenly embarrassed at being caught. She didn’t recognize the Twi’lek standing over her, arms behind his back and a single eyebrow raised in vague amusement. She glanced down at his robes - another Jedi from the looks of it.
Expecting a lecture, she shrugged without an actual answer. The Jedi sat across from her, producing his own deck from the folds of his robe. “A game?” He asked, already shuffling his cards.
This time Mala was the one who rose an eyebrow. She shrugged again, selecting cards from her side deck in answer. “Wager?”
“None,” the Jedi smiled. “Not much of a point in gambling around here.”
“Ugh,” Mala shook her head, flipping a card from the main deck. It’ll be a five… It was a ten. “You’re all so boring. Pazaak isn’t that fun without something on the line.”
The Jedi hummed, flipping over a four. “How about information? If you win, you get a question I have to answer and vice-versa.”
Mala drew a seven and laid down a three. She smiled. “I’ll take that bet.”
The Jedi laughed.
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just a very fun idea that i may or may not pursue along with my very many other Fun Ideas
Anakin, somehow, someway, finds himself in the possession of an unusual holocron.
It’s unusual in the fact that there is no way to tell if it was Jedi or Sith. It may have been made my someone else altogether.
He does not tell anyone about this discovery, because it feels wrong. The Force tells him he has to keep this to himself. If anyone found out about it, they would surely take it away and he can’t let that happen.
Why can’t he let that happen? He has no idea.
He finally figures out how to open it and it’s just… some person? A person in dark, ancient Jedi robes with a Force presence that can only be described as weird as fuck.
Gray but constantly shifting. On the precipice of Light and Dark, stable in its instability. Chaotic, powerful, and unlike anything Anakin has ever witnessed. (Distantly he realizes this is how the other Jedi feel about him.)
The woman does not give her name, only cryptically implying that she’s old enough to witness history fade into legend. Eventually Anakin is able to glean that she was from the time of Jedi Civil Wars, some 3000 years ago.
The holocron was not made to store specific wisdom or knowledge. It was a diary, an attempt at leaving a legacy behind. A statement that whoever created it was once a person, not just a name in a textbook.
They talk. Of course Anakin has so many questions and the woman tries her best to answer, to give advice based on what she has to give.
Her ideas are, to be frank, extremely radical. Anakin knows exactly why the Council will confiscate this holocron if they were to discover it. It was absolutely seeping with heresy.
She has knowledge of both the Jedi and the Sith. Enough knowledge to have solid opinions on the philosophies of both, with her own borrowing liberally from the two. Disagreeing with both as often as she believed they both had merit. She talks from personal experience, but doesn’t give more than what’s necessary. Anakin would suspect it was a Sith holocron if it didn’t have so much… Light.
“Who are you?” Anakin asked, awed in the traditional sense of the word.
The woman in the holocron only smiled. “I’ve had many titles. I disliked all of them.”
She eventually gives herself a name - Mala Khan.
Anakin calls her Master Khan, because surely she must be an ancient master with her command of the Force?
Mala teases him mercilessly for it.
“The masters of my time would rather choke than acknowledge me as a peer,” she said with no small hint of bitterness. A rueful smile tugs at her lips. “I can hardly even call myself a Jedi, at this point. I left the order when it no longer needed me.”
Over time Anakin gleans more information.
She was an adult when she was admitted into the Order under a time of duress. She has intimate experience of both the Light and Dark, having struggled endlessly with the push and pull of both. She resents the Force for choosing her, as if it were an entity all its own. She was married. She had a wife. She believed that love was the most important thing in the galaxy.
“If it wasn’t for her,” Mala said, more serious than Anakin has ever seen her. “I would have been lost. Love is not a weakness. Love is the greatest source of strength there is.”
Anakin kinda really wants to cry when he hears that.
They both see their similarities. Both were chosen by the Force, given a power that isolated them from others. Both were unorthodox in their times. Both loved desperately and unconditionally. Both were thrust into power at a turning point in history. Both were mechanics at heart, both had a taste for risk and rebellion, both had reservations with the Order and struggles with Jedi doctrine.
For once in his life, Anakin has someone he can truly confine in, besides Palpatine. Even then, Mala offers much more directed comfort than the Supreme Chancellor ever could, because the Supreme Chancellor wasn’t a Jedi and didn’t understand.
He was so, incredibly betrayed when he eventually found out that Mala Khan, confidant, support, friend - was Revan, ancient Dark Lord of the Sith.
“It was a shock for me, too,” she joked, attempting to lighten the mood. She tilted her head and studied Anakin’s expression. “What have the Jedi told you? About Revan?”
“That you are an example of what not to be. The ideal Jedi brought down by their vanity and arrogance.”
“They don’t mention the war? The intent that led to the fall? The false reasoning? The ultimate redemption?” Mala - Revan - tilts her head. “Though, I deny the idea that anything could truly redeem what I have done. It is easy to make an example of history. It is hard to acknowledge that those people were sentient - capable of good and evil in equal measure and gifted with the ability to justify their actions.”
“I did what I felt I had to and it led to more strife. Perhaps you can take that as an example, young Jedi. For as much wisdom as I thought I had, it was not nearly enough. What saved me, in the end, were the people I cared about. The idea that what I personally wanted would destroy them in the process. Think about this and everything I have said. My past does not discredit what was my present.”
Yes, in the end this is a fix-it-fic idea.
Anakin finds the confidant he needed who encouraged challenging the repressing ideas of the Jedi order while admonishing the selfishness of the Sith.
Anakin basically becomes friends with someone who has been dead for 3000+ years and is also an incredibly controversial character in history and it changes him for the better. He resists the pull of the Dark because of his love for Padme and Obi-Wan. He thinks of the moment Revan had the opportunity to trade the galaxy and her friends for love, but refused on account of it going against who Bastila once was.
Chaotic lesbian Jedi Turned Sith Lord Turned Jedi Turned Outlier inspires the Chosen One to just… Refuse the lure of the Dark, by introducing him to the idea that he can Just Be A Normal Dude Who Cares About Others.
Mala intimately knows the allure of the Ends Justify the Means mentality and discourages Anakin from falling into that trap.
That’s it.
That’s the Very Fun idea I have that ultimately is just forcing Anakin to interact with what is essentially my OC.
Star Wars brainrot is very real and very powerful.
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i dont know what consistency is. here's some revan :)
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remember atton rand? that son of a bitch sure did love
h-he sure did love
he
he loved the jedi exile so much
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"It's been a while since we've spent some time alone."
"And when we do, it's in situations like this."
HERA SYNDULLA & KANAN JARRUS in Star Wars Rebels [7/?]
4x05 — "The Occupation"
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popular holotuber spacebomberguy has uploaded a new five hour video essay! it starts as a critique of the new “dress like a senator” fashion line and it’s place in pro-republic clone wars propaganda, before spiraling into a discovery that chancellor palpatine is a sith lord!! reactions on the holonet are mixed, with macewinduofficial declaring the video “necessary viewing for all of coruscant” while anakinskyyyy3534 replied to a link with “TLDW”
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pls consider the concept that maul simply does not vibe with anakin completely unrelated to plot things. i don’t care that you’re gonna be instrumental in toppling the republic, i tried to run you over when you were nine and i stand by that decision
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Padawan haircuts / Padawan beads
✨🌙 ART LOG -> @404ama
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as a long time final fantasy fan it was really funny watching a new hope for the first time like "THATS who biggs and wedge are???"
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Please reblog for a larger sample size.
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AMANDLA STENBERG AS MAE IN 'THE ACOLYTE'
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Happy remembrance day to the best tv show of them all.
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Sith Inquisitor Storyline: Drunk History Version
Y’all, and by y’all I mean one person (@sith-shenanigans thank you very much), asked for it, and I live to repeat this over and over for others’ amusement, so here it is. Have my summary of the pinball machine that is the Sith Inquisitor storyline, from memory, originally drafted a while back in DMs with a friend who’s never played SWTOR. Spoilers for the Sith Inquisitor storyline, obviously.
Without further ado: Let us begin.
- So your story begins as a recently sort-of-freed slave walking off a ship and onto Hell: The Planet. (The nonhuman Inquisitor immediately experiences 2483947 microaggressions.)
- You have to compete with a bunch of other people! Only one of you is not going to die and the overseer has already picked his favorite, seemingly purely because he happens to have red skin. They will both (the overseer and Teacher’s Pet) proceed to be as annoying as possible for the rest of the Korriban story.
- multiple people try to kill you, but you’re the protagonist, so fuck them
- “Teacher’s Pet, you go to the library and translate these texts. Protagonist, you go to this ancient tomb and figure out how to retrieve an artifact from a lock that no one has been able to open in ten thousand years.” “Libraries are boring anyway. Yawn.”
- You finally get to smackdown with Teacher’s Pet, which is satisfying as hell. Unfortunately the overseer gets pissy about it. Fortunately, the Sith you’ve been competing to be the apprentice of decided she liked you early on and has also been playing favorites, so you don’t die immediately.
- your master is great! much more into positive reinforcement than most Sith.
- at some point you semi-accidentally steal someone else’s cult on Nar Shaddaa and now they worship you as a nigh-on god. whoops. you just kind of… leave and let them run their own business. you pay them visits later in the storyline.
- you also become part bug so you can go skinny dipping in radioactive waste. it’s fine, we promise.
- your master is trying to steal your body because turns out she’s actually really old and kind of dying so she plans on kicking you out of your body, transplanting her own soul in your place, killing her old body, and assuming your identity after “you” “killed” “your master”! that’s not great, better not let her do that.
- you successfully didn’t let her do that! wait, now she’s sharing a body with one of your companions, an ancient monster who you kind of forced into submission and who serves you rather unwillingly now. there is apparently nothing that can be done about this so sometimes your eight-foot-tall monster not-friend talks in a high, unnervingly smooth feminine voice and tries to convince you she’s on your side now that she’s forced by this new body to not harm you. this is also not great but what are you gonna do. he is also Not Pleased about this by the way, and really who can blame him.
- some darth on the dark council named Thanaton decides to get pissy with you for reasons I don’t remember and now he’s trying to kill you. what the fuck.
- he actually almost does kill you but your old master’s other apprentices, who are now your apprentices, save you from the brink of death.
- (the apprentices, by the way, are very sweet and I love them. they’re murdered by thanaton almost immediately.)
- your solution to “I need more power, fast”, for some godforsaken reason, is “I’m going to learn to walk the line between life and death and EAT GHOSTS” and I wish I were exaggerating this
- you go out and eat a bunch of ghosts of old Sith on various planets
- subpoint to this: on one of these planets, you accomplish this by coercing the ghost’s descendant, a Jedi padawan named Ashara, to get the ghost to appear so you can eat him. You end up murdering her masters in the process because one way or another they find out about your plan. She is understandably horrified by this turn of events and, feeling she has no chance of returning to the Jedi, reluctantly joins your crew and either (Light Side Quizzy) learns to balance light and dark sides of the Force and becomes ultimately stronger for it, or (Dark Side Quizzy) lives in abject terror of you for the rest of the storyline. I love her dearly as well. fortunately she is not murdered by thanaton.
- congrats! you ate enough ghosts to have enough power to beat thanaton up!
- unfortunately, you have Ate Too Many Ghosts Disease now and need immediate medical attention.
- your mind kind of just Shatters and you may or may not have hallucinations for a while iirc. either way you need help or you’re just gonna disintegrate slowly until the ghosts overwhelm you and take over. you go to Voss and participate in some wild Force ritual they’ve got to take care of that. it’s a fun time
- your body is also having a bad time and that also needs fixing; I don’t remember where you go for this (Belsavis, I think?) but you end up checking out a machine made by a long-dead alien civilization and the machine turns out to a) be sentient and b) be responsible for CREATING A GOOD PORTION OF THE GALAXY’S NEAR-HUMAN SPECIES, IF NOT ALL OF THEM, AND DISSEMINATING THEM TO THE GALAXY AS PART OF THE RAKATA’S EXPERIMENTS ON CREATING FORCE-SENSITIVE LIFEFORMS IN HOPES OF KEEPING THEIR OWN SPECIES FROM DYING OUT BECAUSE THEY WERE SUPER RACIST AND EVENTUALLY THAT RACISM KICKED THEM IN THE ASS IN THE FORM OF A MASS REVOLUTION THAT WIPED THEM OUT COMPLETELY BUT THE MACHINE IS STILL HERE
- all right I’m calm sorry I derailed for a moment
- I have a lot of thoughts about things
- anyway the machine bUILDS YOU A NEW FUCKING BODY and you’re good to go now
- (by the way, depending what species you’re playing, it’s entirely possible you learn at this point that your entire species only exists because of this machine!)
- (anyway.)
- okay, mind fixed, body fixed, ghosts consumed, we’re good to go! time to murder a dark councilor!
- “we do that”
- except you don’t because you’re on corellia and this dipshit challenges you to a kaggath without really ever explaining in detail what a kaggath is or what the rules (if any) are, we just know it seems to be the ancient and very formal Sith way of saying “meet me in the denny’s parking lot at 3am if you want an ass-kicking”, and then hE RUNS OFF TO DROMUND KAAS WHICH DEPENDING ON WHAT GALAXY MAP YOU BELIEVE IS UP TO FIVE DAYS’ TRAVEL AWAY
- YOU’RE CANONICALLY JUST CHASING THIS LITTLE BITCH THROUGH SPACE FOR FIVE DAYS AFTER HE CHALLENGED YOU
- he then goes to the Dark Council to try to convince them to help him kill you and you literally have to just go to the Dark Council chambers too and kick in the door and go “HEARD YOU WERE TALKIN SHIT” in front of everyone
- (which to be fair is basically Sith philosophy in a nutshell)
- Ravage and Marr spend this entire council meeting just exchanging tired glances and going “no, fuck you, why can’t you kill them, they’re your problem. fight for our entertainment now. fuck you”
- (Darth Baras did this exact same shit earlier the same day, by the way, with the Sith Warrior. and by “earlier the same day” I mean “like fifteen minutes prior to this.”)
- you fight Thanaton. to no one’s surprise, because you’re the protagonist and because he’s being a little bitch about it, you kick his ass and slaughter him in front of everyone
- half the Council stands up and you just kind of go “oh shit I’m gonna die”
- but no
- you’re being promoted
- congration you done it you’re a dark councilor now
- someone complains because wait, they’re not even a darth, you can’t be a dark councilor if you’re not even a darth
- first person responds with “well fuck you then, we’ll make them a darth. hey you. your name is Darth Nox (dark side)/Imperius (light side)/Occulus (neutral) now. take a seat”
- “but - what?”
- “take a fuckin seat, babe”
- “o- okay"
- “you run the entire Ancient Knowledge sector now, by the way, despite the fact that you may or may not be illiterate due to having been raised a slave, because that was what Thanaton ran and we only have the one job opening since the Warrior just killed Baras”
- (the Warrior, freshly coined the Emperor’s Wrath officially, waves from their corner where they’re cleaning Baras’s blood off their boots)
- “I - okay, I guess”
and that’s the Sith Inquisitor storyline. That’s a wrap, folks, roll credits. if this gets enough notes and/or if literally anyone says they’d like to see it I may also post the Imperial Agent and/or do other class stories, I enjoy these way too much
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i’m not into “who’s the most powerful jedi” “who’s the best duelist” stuff but if i was, mace windu would be my man. who the fuck defeats palpatine. in a 1v1 . every other time someone has to fight palpatine in this saga they’re like “noooo i’ll turn to dark side there must be another way 😔😔” mace just does it. he beat the shit out of that old man what the fuck
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