graceeast

[graceeast]

Chapter 2

Part 14

This is a joke NSFW 18+

Today Kim came up to me and A-aron and told us that her and Karen are going to see Hannah Montana in concert. I was like yo Hannah Montana is my jam! They said they were going to hard core marathon all the shows ever made because you know you got to have the #bestofbothworlds. A-Aron and I thought it was a good idea for Karen and Kim a night to themselves.

Later I went shopping with my mom she asked me what I wanted I replied with my usual watermalon! She then asked me what else I wanted I said I dont know yellow is my favorite flavor. So she grabbed a lemon I said no you stupid bitch I said yellow. So she finally got the hint and got a box of just yellow crayons.

That night I played Wii bowling with my bro A-Aron and I was like get good scrub you bowl like your mom and he said it be like that sometimes. Then we got high #hugsnotdrugs #brosfohoes #instaverified. Anyway since kim has had her kids her tits are like #nexleval I wish she would call me daddy 🤤

Part 15

Since the girls are going out tonight A-Aron and I have to take care of the babies. #notavibe but I will still help him apparently his kid Jim said his first words they were "shove it Karen jr. #fuckit" we could not be more proud of him!

I hope A-Aron and I can raise these kids just as good a Sanic and Shrek raised their kids. Each of Sanic and Shreks kids have their own swamps that's what I call very successful.

Meanwhile at the concert Karen passed out from drinking too much and Kim is half naked and Karona is dancing on stage with Hannah Montana and Milly Cyrus herself it was very hardcore.

Part 16

Karona fell off the stage but it's ok because Billy Rae Cyrus caught her. They looked deep into each others eyes until rudely interrupted by Karen . "Excuse me!" Karen exclaimed. The Billy and her eyes locked he straight up yeeted Karona and they had some premarital kissing. Gross!

That day A-Aron texted me. "You ready to rob a bank?" I was like WTF A-Aron did you take your ADHD medication. He was like "I thought we were bros weather I took my meds or not!" "But to be honest I didn't" I said you should probably do that we will talk later. A-Aron than says "I love you bro no homo"

The girls had fun at the concert but Karona is still a little upset that Karen stole Billy from her. But they made up since Karen said "he's horrible kisser I ended up complaining to his manager Hannah Montana about it!" "And we broke up." Karona was glad she dodged a bullet with that one thank our lord and savior Dr. Phil

Part 17

A-Aron and I have to clean his room today apparently I cause 90% of the messes. Anyway his room has a white boy white sanfransico vibe to it, it has several posters of pokeman. It also have posters of big time rush. After picking up his several pairs of board shorts we are lunch which of course was case of dillos #cultured.

Karen jr. Finally learned how to complain to the manager today since we went to friendlies and she got the wrong ice cream. Jim said shut the F up Karen and Boe just minded his own business.

I cant believe Karen won the presidency! Surprisingly since she was going against Bloomerberg. Science he is an old white man and she is a black Mexican. She didn't have a great chance but she made it. She is going to make America love shrek again.

Part 18

In Chillerys class today we were listening to one of those educational songs and low key I got turnt as hell listening to it. Later I ended up buying it on iTunes for my blue totally awesome ipod shuffle. I listened to it only 600 more times. I even made a dance to it to show Chillery tomorrow in class.

We all stood up and said the pledge of the memeist then saluted the flag with Shrek on it with our middle finger as it is the way he would want it. Then we said long live our president Karen amen 🙏. Then we all dabbed and coughed in each other's faces.

That night Aaron, his family and I went to the cheesecake factory and we ate like kings. It was very good till I got home and had explosive diariah every where. Gross.

Part 19

Today I started talking to Korona cause she a cutie. She and I decided to go on a online date on roblox since that game bops. Anyway we were thinking about going to Mac Daddys for dinner on Friday I'm excited! Except when we got there Mac Daddys was closed so we had to hard-core hand job and then well you can only imagine what happened next. Its closed because of of the pepperona.

But its ok because I got quarantined with her which was nice because we did a lot of HBO and chill. We take a couple hits of the mareajowana. She is my Quranqueen.

School is online now and Chillery was talking to us then all of the sudden there was a loud noise. "What was that" Chillery yelled. A-aron raised his hand and said sorry that was me I dropped my iPad. "I soiled my depends" Chillery exclaimed. I than said Sah bro to him and Chillery yelled shut the F up. Whoh Chillery has no chill.

That night I went home and I printed off some black and white nudes for my sweet heart KTVSPN4 I hope she likes them.

Part 20

Today in school a new student came on line her name is Cardi B. All of the sudden someone who had been quiet all day raised their hand. What is it asked Carol Baskin our art teacher. "Yes, is that short for something?" Cardis cheeks turned bright red she hung her head and embarrassed and said "it's short for Carigan Backyardagain" thewhole class laughed. Carol said if we don't stop she would feed us to tigers so we shut right up.

Today after classes Karona came over we had sex and I was pretty sure I tore my rectum. But you know what they say chuck it in the fuck it bucket. Also #worthit. She enjoyed it which is good because we don't waste. Especially seman and hot pickles oh my goodness after eating one of those and watching the hot pickle movie 🤤. Hot pickle I need to repent.

The next day A-aron was down and before class Skyped my friend group apparently Karen Jr. Was getting to be a handful. Thankfully Karona is into all of the astrology stuff and a-aron yelled "what can you tell me about scoripos?" The answer was simple don't be a donter...

Chapter 21

I got home and listened to Thomas the dank engine. Then all of the sudden Korona called me. "Honey you know how we had 69 on 4/20?" Yes I answered "well I'm #tomato sauce" what? "I'm sorry I'm prego" she exclaimed I said it was going to be ok and we would figure it out. "Wow you are the best" she said.

That next day in music class we had a project to write a song about someone who inspired us. Danny Devito went first "yes this is a song about me." He said he went on singing -"this won't make us fall there is still one man we can call, Danny Devito the one that we need oh" it was very catchy. The teacher wasn't pleased but it was better then kims song about Carol Baskin.

I'm so happy Karona is prego, today we find out the gender of our baby. Turns out its a girl we are going to name her corona lite extra. I can't wait until our beautiful baby is born!

The next day in class Carole was singing about her husband it was very sus talking about sardine oil on her husband. And something about tigers and how they be snacking on his meat I don't think in a good way. Anyway big yikes.

We had a baby shower for Karona of course on the internet dont want this weird virus. She got a onsie it said dada on it I can't wait for our baby to wear it.

Part 22

A-aron sent me a link last night it said under the link "looks like you" I of course clicked on it and you will never guess what happened. It brought me to a separate video I watched it there was some unmentionable stuff happening in it, I texted A-aron and said "I think that video gave me cancer" he texted "Thanks Obama!"

The baby is due next month and we couldn't be happier we decided that when its born we are not going to vaccinate our child because autism. Dont want our kid to be messed up for life. We are going to be using natural oils and food made from home and of course cloth diapers. Got to make sure she is perfect.

At lunch I was telling A-aron our plan he completely agreed that autism is way worse than being susptible to the flu or polio he said they didn't get Karen Jr. Vaccinated and she has only gotten small pox once and the flu 4 times since she has been alive. To me thats worth it

👌 💯 😌 🙏

23

Karen started talking about "he own business on Facebook and is trying to get us to start our own. "It only takes one second to share" she sells essential oils.

" its called essential oils for a reason"

I bought some hoping that would shut her up but it did not. The next day she talking about betrayal on Facebook and how hard she is trying to sell this shit to everyone.

Just shut up no one wants your oils!

I'm so excited for Karona to have the baby any day now she will arrive and we will be so happy and a family.

Part 24

Karona went into labor in quarantine with me I delivered my own child! Like we said it is a girl so we will be naming her Karona extra light.

She was healthy and thank goodness 🙏 it was a home birth because hospitals are so disgusting and they might vaccinate her and we don't want that because everything we are doing is all natural. We are even using cloth diapers because the government expects you to use disposable but i just can't in good conscience do that to my sweet daughter.

Karona is nursing which is great because we are planning on nursing her till she is 5 because breast is best.

Part 25

Today on Facebook Karen posted one of her normal posts. "Does anyone have a truck I can borrow need to move a couch also if you could help me that would be great!." And "does anyone have any Bobby pins I can borrow?" "I'm so done with everything" "anyone want to buy essential oils and be a model for me for free?"

What a bitch just trying to get free stuff from people I never understood asking for stuff like that. Like a few things here and there but every day is kinda ridiculous. Plus who barrows Bobby pins like wtf. Like I'm pretty sure those are one time use.

Today Karen also asked me if I would sell essential oils for 10% of the profits. She also said using them could help me lose up to 10 pounds. She said it just takes 2000$ to start out but I'll earn it back next month.

Yeah right I'll earn it back never. I just told her I wasn't interested which she got really upset with. "You know you just lost me 300$!" -yeah I did the math 10% of 300 is 30. Dumb bitch oh well.

Part 26

Karona extra light started talking today apparently she is religious because first thing she said was you may be verified on Twitter but are you verified in the eyes of the lord.

I have had many conflicting feelings lately back in elementary I liked guys but now and then I liked both, but now I'm leaning more towards girls but I still sometimes have feelings for guys. Any way I'm just going to come out as Bi because I still like some guys but lean more towards females. I told Kim she was totally excepting.

Kim started a job at worst purchase today she said her day was so easy and they are actually paying her a good amount. I'm proud of who she is

But who am I is the question

Well now that I got it figured out my name is Atlas Consintine I am bi-sexaul and I'm still trying to figure it all out. I am a chillis employee that has gone through alot but I think its time for this saga of my journal to come to an end you see tomorrow is high school graduation and pretty soon I will be thinking about the next step in my life. Probably join the peace core or something. Ps simp means squirrels in my pants doesn't anyone remember Phineas and ferb. Anyway that's it for now journal until next time.

Atlas

#funny #fiction #short story

[graceeast]

Diary of high school meme

 this is a joke NSFW 18+

Part 1

My bro walks up to me and is like Benny how you feeling? I say I feel great, even though that’s not my name that’s not my name. Then we both hit the woah at the same exact time.

Then his VSCO girlfriend says an I opp sksksksk. Then she says WHO EVER JUST SENT YOU THIS JUST DUMPED YOUR ASS!

Then my guy turns to her and says respect the drip Karen!

Then I say no matter what, he will always come back to me.

Then my bro and I hug no homo though. Then we walk away to the song Rockstar by: Smashmouth, while doing the floss aggressively.

Then we go and play Minecraft together while drinking Bang and eating Doritos till one in the morning.

But then my bros mother Linda sent me home. ☹

 

Part 2

Linda is such a bitch “B-I-C-T-H in that order!” she always makes me leave A-arons house at one thirty in the morning.

Later that week A-aron and I took a seat in class. Then our teacher kept talking about China and how more then half our exports come from there.

Then A-aron went outside to vape. Karen then comes over and says give me your Juul. Then I say no Karen that Juul coast me sixty dollars. I had to get a senior to pay for it. I only work at Chilis so it took three paychecks to buy.

That night I worked and everyone at once said “Welcome to Chilis!” I just ignored them and kept walking as I usually do.

I go home then check my Reddit and Twitter fifty times to make sure I am still verified.

 

Part 3

The next day comes and I pick up A-aron up in my sick 2001 Toyota Camry it is beige of course only the sickest color.

We then get Karen and you won’t believe what she did… she yeeted my vape out the window! What the fork Karen! That took three paychecks from Chilis to buy.

Karen then says she hates that place and last time she ate there, they messed up he order. So she complained to the manager.

Damn Karen, I don’t need her anyway I will always have my bro A-aron. Our nights together watching Shrek 3 and Cars 2… Best movies ever! And of course, listening to our lord and savior Daft Punk on full volume.

 

Part 4

A bunch of kids are doing a fundraiser for Harambe and I am all for it of course “save the whales.”

And that’s why I only use Twizzlers to drink my RedBull. I don’t always drink RedBull but when I do I use a Twizzler as a straw then eat it.

Later I texted A-aron on my Nokia phone I sent him exactly 69 memes at exactly 4:20 as it is totally lit to do so every day. I said we should totally get back at Karen for throwing my Juul. He disagreed with me, then I told him to stop being such a girl. Then he says don’t assume my gender and I said look man I had no idea. Then he said you just did it again. I give up!

Then I smoked the devils cabbage and went to sleep #Blazeit

 

Part 5

A-aron and I made up he bought me a new Juul and said that our friendship is never ogre. So then I said #Fam! Then he and I did our secret handshake which consists a dab the woah and five different Fortnite dances.

Today I started dating Kim Vardashian she is a #skinnylegend who is also thicc with two c’s. I can’t wait till we can aggressively hug! But she is embarrassed of our love because I am a freshman and she is a senior.

I think today is the day I try out for the school play we are putting on the production Mulan 3. I want to play the part of Simba.

That night for dinner A-aron and I got Subway #I’m lovin’ it, it was mmm… mmm… mmm… finger licking good. Then we bought two cotton candy Juul cartridges from Kim and vaped all night.

 

 

Part 6

My Nokia phone stopped working so I went to the closest Radio Shack and got a brand-new Blackberry with a slide out key pad. It was very dope!

Since it was Saturday I went home and hardcore gamed on my Tamagotchi. It died ☹… it was sad until a new one came, and I bought all the snacks for it!

Kim is such a slut she broke up with me and told me she was only dating me because I have a job and gave her money to buy stuff from Gucci. Then she told me 20$ a week was not cutting it. Then I told her that’s all I make in a week. Now I also work for Walmart to make more money. But I guess it still was not enough for her. Damn Kim at least I have A-aron   

 

Part 7

A-aron and Kim got together I tried telling him that she was a bitch. But the #thirstisreal for him like he is the Sahara Desert when it comes to women. He really doesn’t care but I will be there if his heart gets broken.

Today is also my cousins 18th birthday and he is getting a tattoo. Its going to be a 95 the 9 is going to be a butterfly and the 5 is going to be a bee, and under it will say float like a butterfly sting like a bee Kachow -Lightning McQueen

He is actually going to get two tattoos the other one is going to be a glass of milk, swiss cheese, yogurt and under that one its going to say #legen-dairy #veganforlife. He is also getting Gingy from Shrek slippers

 

Part 8

Karen got hit with a tour bus!!! We rushed her to the hospital and to the psych ward cuz she cray cray.

Its been a month since A-aron and Kim got together I am very surprised. We all visited Karen today and then Kim said they were expecting. Then Karen said boom pregnant.

Apparently, the baby is going to be a reincarnation of Donald Trump and the baby is going to be huodge. But this is all according to Karen. But it seems legit, so I believe it.

I’ve been taking care of Karen’s dog Lo-Maine. He wares a Supreme hoodie and a Rolly on his wrist and even has Jorden’s and I must dress him every day #1stworldprobs.

 

Part 9

Karen got released today from the hospital and to celebrate she stole her moms ID and went to Iowa to celebrate. She then sent me a video of herself, “Hi my name I Kendall and I am here in Cedar Rapids once again asking for your support.” Your support for what I thought but then I saw it Kendall Landers-Linton 2020 president, Kendall must be her mom’s name.

Kim is now 5 months prego and still hanging on strong and everyone helps her with stupid shit like the teachers tell her she can have extensions on all her assignments. So unfair I get an erection every hour and I don’t get extensions on anything except my dick.

Who would vote for Karen I mean she looks like a 40-year-old woman, but she’s crazy to think that they won’t figure out that she’s just 20 and a senior in high school.

That day was crazy, so I went on my computer and watched my extra special anime movie if you know what I mean 😉. Jerked the turkey for 30 minutes and felt way more relaxed after my little session thank god for Japanese henti.

 

Part 10

Today we watched the Sanic the hedgehog movie it was the best movie ever in the movie Shrek and Sanic have a relationship. They end up getting married and having aggressive sex while listening to all of Smash mouths songs. Then they had hedgehog ogre hybrid babies they were so ugly that they were cute.

I later sat in class with A-aron he said that after watching that Sanic movie that he wasn’t sure if he was ready to be a father. Because Shrek and Sanic made for a really good couple and were good at raising their kids. I told him not to worry and that if he watched all the Shrek movies and played all the Sanic games that he had already learned all he needs to about fatherhood. He felt relieved after I said all that, he said it was good that he did all the necessary research we then dabbed and then the bell rang.

Kim went into labor at lunch it was really disgusting, but interesting because all these people came, and our school nurse Joe Biden delivered the baby. Kim decided to name her son Boe Jiden after Joe Biden’s name, the school nurse was in tears until he saw another baby coming out. It’s a girl!!!! Kim named that kid Karen Jr. after her best friend. It was amazing then I told A-aron that his sperm must be made of steel since he had two kids, he then punched me in the arm no homo though.   

Part 11

All of the sudden another baby just shoulder dropped itself out of Kim. It was a boy!!! "I will name this one Jim Cenass" (all of the sudden from the corner you here horribly played kazoo it plays the John Cena fan fair) do do do do... it's that new transfer student Korona Tortilla Vanbargen Sale Pool Noodle the 4th KTVSPN4 for short. Jim Cenass starts waving his hand in front of his face as of to say you cant see me then he just goes ham on our school nurse Joe Biden. The principal Jeb Bush had to break up the fight. Then Jim started fighting Boe and Karen jr. It was something else.

Our new transfer student KTVSPN4 is very strange she kinda keeps to herself but at least she made friends with Kim and Karen. She's from China and is such a cry baby she keeps complaining that her sister died of this weird disease. But other then that been helping A-Aron with his three babies Jim is a handful and we have to keep him away from the others but it's kinda hard now because they have already started calling and Jim can walk.

Part 12

Today I was just sitting in Chillery Hiltons history class when all of the sudden I heard loud noises coming from above me. Then Boe and Joe just shoulder dropped onto the teacher it was very strange. Thankfully Chillery is going to be ok!

Later that day Kim's babies are getting baptized by our local priest Dr. Phil. Jim was not having it and started going ham on Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil then say y'all need Jebus in your life. Phil then #getsrektmydude. And Bylieye Eyelash starts playing her song I'm the Evil Man which was perfect for the occasion.

We all had an assembly today our principal Jeb said it was to recognize great teachers in our school. "Best dance teacher Shreckira" Shreckira goes up and can not hold herself together it was major aco taco.

"Lane Jinch for best gym teacher" Lane goes up and says "I know I'm the best." "Sernie Banders best public speaking teacher" Sernie goes up and gives a 50 page long speech how he doesn't deserve this. "Steve Harvey for best health teacher and guidance counselor" Steve then goes up and starts talking about how important college is and the birds and the bees. And last but not least "Beyonce for best music teacher" Beyonce comes up and starts singing my Heart will go on by Celine Dion. Jeb then says please clap!

Part 13

Today Karen got Lo majne trained to be a service dog naturally every one at school wanted to pet lo majne. Karen was like "I'm working bitch" so we all backed off because Karen is crazy!

Today I went to the super market and you know your boy broke yo. So I tried to take some stuff you know and you will never believe what they did. They tried to arrest my ass I dont deserve this I'm broke and now they want me to go to court. Like type 2 diabetes ain't no body got time for that. My lawyer says they will fight for me they dont have a gender and they call themselves foxy Roxy. Hopefully foxy Roxy has my back and we win.

Hey I'm foxy Roxy I usually work at a drag strip club and men eat me up. Just when you thought your husband was straight oh no honey he ain't. I make about 10million pennies or should I say 10 million penis's every show and I live in a trailer with my sweet heart wide boy and I will win this

#funny #short story #fiction