hatefulbrain

[hatefulbrain]

The Tech Illiterate

There are two types of tech illiterate people:

The first type is usually fairly close to you. They see that you’re good with tech, so they ask you a simple question. You answer it, and they realize that you’re a helpful soul with some knowledge. You can fix all their tech woes. You are the holy grail.

They can’t believe their good luck! They start bombarding you with tech questions. Every time you’re with them they’ll have a new question. They throw out invitations under the pretense of going out to lunch or hanging with them at their place, and once you’re there they’ll start in with, “Oh, hey, while you’re here, I’m having a little problem with my printer...” or “Hey, can you teach me Photoshop?”

They tell you that they won’t allow anyone else to touch their computer -- you’re their go-to computer person. You have a relationship with them outside of tech stuff, but most interactions you have with them will at least include providing them with a little free tech support and education.

The second type is referred to you by the first type. They know even less than the first type does, and generally their tech issues are fairly simple. You fix up their tech for them. You give them very simple, well-written instructions, which they don’t follow. You tell them exactly what they have to do, and instead of trusting you, they call someone else who doesn’t know as much as you do but they know them better than they know you.

A little later, they call you in again because their shit’s fucked up again, and it’s somehow your job to undo the changes that the third party did to fuck up your initial changes. You barely get a thank you, and in a few months’ time you’ll get yet another phone call asking for help because they, yet again, didn’t follow your simple instructions and instead thought that either they knew better than you and could fix things themselves, or they let the third party mess with things again.

I’m not sure which one is worse. It’s kind of easy to get out of helping the second type. Just tell them that you’re sorry but you don’t do that anymore. Say it’s beyond your skill level or you don’t quite have the time. Or, of course, you can give them a rate. So in the end, as long as you don’t agree to “taking a look” at their devices, the second type isn’t that big of a drain.

On the other hand, the first type watches you work. They can get demanding and impatient. Their need is like constant pounding surf, just one question after another beating you into submission until you don’t even want to pick up the phone when they call because you just know it’ll be yet another tech problem that somehow you’re the only person in the world who can fix. They will at times act very entitled and not very grateful, but they see that your knowledge is something special. They value your time and your know-how, and they usually treat you accordingly.

The second type doesn’t respect you at all. Proof is in the pudding. They’ll completely ignore your very thorough but simple instructions and take their tech problem to someone else whose fuck-ups you’ve already fixed. Then they’ll return to you and act surprised that shit’s fucked up again. They usually won’t pay you for your help, but if they do, they’ll be completely blown away by the price you quoted them, surprised it could possibly cost that much, even though it took you 17 hours to fix up their whacked out shit.

And then of course, the next time you have a tech issue, they’ll take the computer to someone else and be happier because the price for the tech help will be lower. Well of course it's lower, shithead! I had just spent all that time fixing shit up so things work PROPERLY! The other guy had an easy time completing your next requests BECAUSE I streamlined things, you fucking imbecile! And guess what? If you’d returned to me, it would invariably be a lower price than the other guy. But because his price is lower than my initial rate, which included coming to your HOUSE and spending three hours diagnosing and teaching, then taking the computer home and spending another 12 hours working on it, then driving it BACK TO YOUR HOUSE FUCKING-HOME-PICKUP-AND-DELIVERY-YOU-DON’T-GET-THIS-KIND-OF-SERVICE-ANYWHERE-ANYMORE-ASSHOLE and spending even more time explaining what I did and showing you how things work now, and you don’t even really understand EVERYTHING that I did for you and have zero respect for it, you’ll take your comp troubles to the other guy and think you’re getting a deal. Guess what? You AREN’T! But at least I’m not busting my balls fixing up your shit for barely a fucking thank you and a sooooooooo-not-worth-it paycheck. You’ll actually get more thanks from the first type for fixing up the second type’s shit than you do from the second type himself!

That’s the life of a tech-literate person: Being constantly in demand with peanuts as compensation and getting damn near zero respect. And let’s not EVEN get started on parents and others complaining that you spend too much time on your devices, yet the second THEIR devices break, they come crying to you for help.

#why can't people just stop being assholes? #computer problems #computer illiterate #computer illiterate problems #*headdesk*

[hatefulbrain]

Poisonous frustration

“....poisonous snake....”

“It’s venomous, not poisonous.”

“I know, but I say poisonous for the layperson.”

Ooookay, but:

#1 Who the fuck are you talking to? I’m not a layperson. I clearly know the fucking difference, so you don’t have to dumb yourself down to talk to me.

#2 Most laypeople are smart enough to understand the difference, and maybe they’d LEARN the difference if the people who know better stopped intentionally using the wrong words.

#3 Stop trying to save face by covering up your fuck-up. Instead, work on internalizing the correct terminology. I don’t buy your rationalizations.

#sigh #stop being a fucking idiot #quit your fucking lies

[hatefulbrain]

Still

“Wow, how much ice cream did you eat?”

“That’s over several years’ worth of containers.”

“Still.”

Reuse, reduce, recycle, people. Saving and repurposing containers is a GOOD thing. We aren’t talking about a hoarding situation here. Is 6 containers saved over several years REALLY a thing to judge someone over? Have you ever considered how many non-recyclable coffee cups you go through in a month when you go to Tim’s every morning?

#stop being judgmental assholes

[hatefulbrain]

Too old

“You’re still using Lipsmackers? Omg, how old are you?”

“Wait, you have lollipops? Omg, how old are you?”

Riiiiiiight, because I get to a certain age and suddenly have to give up things that I like. It’s lip balm and lollipops, people. These things are still good products, even after you reach a certain age, they still do the trick, and my use of them doesn’t affect anyone in the slightest.

How about you stop judging and ridiculing people like you’re a teenager? Hmm? How about that? How old are YOU?

#wtmf does age matter #stop being judgmental assholes #fuck off

[hatefulbrain]

TMWY

That moment when you are being more social and you’re loving it and then you remember that the reason you aren’t more social is because people are really fucking annoying.

#tmwy why do i do this to myself all in the name of being normal?