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her-power · 1 month

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no one like you

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: eddie asks you to cut his bangs and you want something in return, he gives it to you happily

warning: 18+ smut, no minors!; cursing; kissing, sexually explicit language, fem penetration; dirty talk; unprotected sex; praising; not beta’d

p.s. as always if you enjoy like and reblog <3

p.s.s. honestly, I’m just having fun writing this, so don’t judge me :)

‘Holy Diver’ was playing in the background, an empty cassette box tossed on a discoloured carpet on the floor. Eddie's heating fan cracked up to the highest blasted hot air, making his room toasty warm. It was almost the end of November in Indiana and Hawkins was greeted with the chilly breeze of the upcoming winter season.

You lay on top of Eddie’s covers, one hand bent behind your head and another holding a book on top of your chest. You felt a small trickle of sweat at the back of your neck. Wearing only Eddie’s Hellfire shirt you still were on the verge of sweating and showering in the trailer wasn’t particularly your biggest wish. Last time you stood there, hair full of soapy bubbles warm water suddenly turned icy cold and you squealed almost giving Eddie a heart attack.

Sliding off the bed, you wiggled your feet in plushy socks. You could hear water splattering inside the shower and Eddie’s quiet humming. You reached into the drawer, fishing out a hairband that Eddie used sometimes to put his hair in a low bun. You adored the way he looked so much more boyish with his curls out of his pretty face but Eddie only got flustered every time you took his face in your hands saying ‘Pretty boy’.

Despite Eddie’s ‘scary’ looks, he was a perfect combination of slightly cocky and dorky sweet at the same time. You thought you were very lucky to see that in him before any other girls got to know him better. Joining Hellfire club two years ago was the best decision you’ve ever made, though you still suck at the game, you get to see Dungeon master in action. You had to admit that now you visited campaigns mostly because he looked so fucking hot doing them. All passionate and consumed by the story and the fact that he always went soft on you playing made you weak in the knees every bloody time.

Adjusting your hair in a messy bun you took a sip of coke Eddie kept in the fridge, especially for you. He emerged into the room, hair slightly damp, bare chest and bare feet, his pj’s pants hanging low on his hips. You watched a water droplet run down his abdomen into a dark trail of hairs hiding down his pants.

He set you with a look that made you blush a trifle.

‘What are you looking at, sweet thing?’ he tilted his head, grinning at you.

‘Nothing’ you lied.

He hummed, moving closer. He was warm from the shower and smelled like soap and aftershave.

‘Are you sure?’ breath minty, he nudged his nose over yours. Big hands snaked behind you, and found the soft skin of your ass, kneading it between his long fingers. You marvelled at the way his palms splayed across your buttcheeks, firm and possessive.

You pecked him on a cheek as he let go of you.

‘Baby, would you?’ Eddie grabbed scissors that lay on top of the drawers.

‘Cut your bangs?’ you asked, taking cold metal into your hand. He nodded, plopping himself on the bed.

Legs spread for you to make space he smiled sheepishly as you settled in between his knees, looking down at him.

‘What do I get instead for doing this service?’ you murmured softly, fingers brushing through his slightly frizzy curls.

Both his hands glided over your hips, leaving a burning trail, as his thumbs drew circles over your inner thighs, smoothing soft skin there.

‘Mhh, what’d ya want, angel?’ he hummed again, looking up at you with those big doe eyes.

Scissors clinked as you made your first move, dark strides of hair falling down the floor.

‘Could I play my music?’ you suggested, scissors working in your hand.

‘Fuck no, no whiny music today’ Eddie squinted his eyes on you, but breathed out a laugh immediately.

You smacked him on the shoulder. ‘Eddie!’

‘Oh, now, sweet thing’ he greened, lips grazing over the t-shirt at your navel ‘Come on, you can do so much better than this.’

‘Like what?’ you huffed, adding a few finishing touches to his freshly cut bangs.

His fingers run up and up your thigh, teasing at the waistband of your panties.

‘Like let your Master please you?’

You felt a rush of warmth spreading inside your belly. Thumb brushed stray little hairs off his cheeks.

‘Eddie, I’m just off my period’ you groaned quietly, putting scissors away and bringing a little mirror for him to look ‘Plus, I haven’t showered because you always use all the hot water!’

‘Don’t be a tease now, baby’ Eddie whispered, eyes greedy on your face ‘What do I care about your period? Don’t be silly.’

It’s true, he didn’t care and probably would even eat you out on your heaviest day of flow. But you cared. You felt way too exposed to be having sex on your period, though god, you wanted to.

‘Like it?’ you asked, raising one eyebrow.

‘Your pussy?’ Eddie stated fondly rather than asked. ‘Fuck yeah, blood, no blood, give it to me’

You felt heat rushing to your cheeks and you smacked him again on the head.

‘Your bangs, Eddie!’ you explained, holding out a mirror for him.

He laughed heartily but still checked himself out.

‘ ‘Course I do, no one but you could do this, angel’

You giggled softly, climbing on the bed next to him. Both of you settled down, you with your back pressed against the wall, Lord of the Rings book in your hands, legs swang over Eddie’s calves, as he propped himself against the headboard, trying to find the right riffs for Iron Maiden on his guitar.

A good hour passed like that, you reading, him playing and humming quietly to his tune.

When you couldn’t hear guitar strings you looked up from your half-finished book. Eddie’s eyes were set on you in a most loving gaze you could imagine.

‘What?’ you turned your head to the side, setting the book aside.

‘God, you’re so pretty’ Eddie stated, looking a bit dumbstruck.

You squeezed your legs together, slightly embarrassed that Eddie could see a wet patch on your panties. Jesus, how could he wound you up so hard without even properly touching you?

You have been wet ever since he came into the room and manhandled your ass.

‘Are you being needy now, Munson?’ you smirked, the tips of your ears burning.

‘With you?’ Eddie climbed up to you, pulling you by the ankles ‘Always’

You squeaked, his body hovering over you now. He smelt like minty toothpaste mingled with a cigarette he had smoked earlier. Pushing his face into your neck, he nipped at the tender skin there. Mouth open, Eddie kissed the column of your neck up and down until there wasn’t a spot left that he hadn’t touched. You whimpered into him, hips pressing up into his involuntarily.

He chuckled. ‘Who’s needy now, baby?’

You only managed to breathe out when his hand crawled under the shirt, palm smoothing over your nipple.

‘Asking me if I’m needy…’ Eddie stated, lips barely touching yours, like a punishment ‘If I could, I’d bury my cock inside your pretty cunt and stay there forever.’ His words alone made you moan, back arching up into him. Hands tangling in his curls, you pushed him down, demanding a kiss. He gave in, lips crushing on yours, soft and warm, like plush. He found your bottom lip, sucking in, and tongue smoothing over abused tissue seconds later.

You groaned, desperately fisting sheets under into your hands. Eddie swallowed your moans, lips parting with a wet pop as he lifted himself up, both arms caged your face.

‘Tell me, baby’ he breathed out heavily ‘You want your Master to fuck you?’

You nodded vigorously, panting. You already forgot about your recent period and the fact that you probably sweated like a pig in his hot room, damn his bloody heater.

‘Words, sweetheart’ he demanded, his big hand riding up your thigh. ‘Say it’

‘Yes, Eddie’ you panted.

His finger lifted at the elastic hem of your panties, letting it snap back against your skin as he let go.

‘Yes, what, huh?‘ Eddie insisted, mouth closing over your nipple still covered by his Hellfire shirt.

‘Fuck me, Eddie’ you whined, grabbing at his sides, fingers digging into his pale skin.

He hissed and bit you gently just above your collarbone.

Sitting up, Eddie looked down at you, chest heaving and you could see his hard dick imprinted into the fabric of his pj’s pants.

‘Spread your legs, baby’

Your knees just fell apart on command. Eddie’s eyes darkened, something dark swam behind them and you could see his pupils dilate as he leaned closer.

‘Look at that’ he whispered hoarsely, admiring the wetness of your panties ‘Good girl’

His fingers hooked under the waistband of cotton fabric, bringing it down your ankles and throwing it into the space of his room.

You whined, propping yourself on the elbows, trying to reach for him.

He only dismissed you. Dragging his finger through your folds, collecting a slick there, Eddie brought his finger up, glistening from your arousal.

‘That’s my girl’ he whispered, before sucking it into his mouth.

‘Eddie’ you moaned and he chuckled, finally guiding two digits into your aching cunt. Your back arched up, hips pressing down into his fingers, needing more friction, him.

Eddie hummed happily, curling fingers inside you, setting up a steady rhythm.

‘Fuck, such a warm and soft pussy for me, baby’ he whispered, eyes hooded, as his lips mouthed your clit, tongue gliding over in circular motion.

It was too much to take in. Fingers grabbing at his hair you gasped for air.

After torturous minutes of his fingers fucking you relentlessly, his flat tongue slid over your opening just a few times before you shuddered under his mouth, moaning his name.

He groaned lowly when you came, before finally settling himself between your legs, his trousers tossed down the floor.

‘Ready?’ he asked, lip biting. You sobbed weakly, nodding.

You shut your eyes tightly when he pushed inside you. He was warm and smooth and it filled you fully.

His eyes glistened when he leaned over you, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth.

‘You’re pretty’ you whispered, as he started moving inside you. Eddie laughed a little, hands cradling your face.

‘I love you, sweet thing’ he murmured, thumb brushing over your jawline.

‘I- I love’ you didn’t manage to finish your own confession as Eddie started thrusting harder into you. One arm pressing down your stomach to keep you steady, his hips were angrily pinning you down.

‘Oh, baby, ‘ he muttered, also gasping for air ‘You love me so much you wouldn’t let me fuck your sweet cunt when you’re on a period’

You shook your head, speechless. Eddie groaned, moving a little faster.

‘You like that? Me fucking you harder?’

‘Yes’

He held you tighter then, your nose pressed into his chest, his chain dangling over you, with each merciless thrust. You latched onto his neck, colouring his skin with marks that were angry and screamed you’re mine.

Eddie moaned, when you wrapped your legs around his waist, making him push even deeper into you. You felt a warm coil tightening inside you, hot flushes running across your body.

Breath hitched, sweat glistening at his clammy forehead, Eddie kissed you almost animalistic.

‘Come for me, baby?’ he pleaded, eyes greedy on your face ‘Come for me like a good girl’

‘Eddie’ fingers weaving at his hair at the back of his neck, you cried out, feeling a hot wave spread out inside you, making your toes curl.

Eddie gasped, rooting deep inside you and following you, before pulling out of you, his warmth spilling on your tummy.

Later when you both came to your senses, Eddie cracked a window slightly open for the fresh air when he disappeared to the kitchen. Weak in your legs you lay there as he left you, body slugging into post-orgasm bliss.

He came back with a glass of water and a wet washcloth. Sitting down next to you, he brought your calf over his thigh, gently wiping at your sensitive skin, then reaching out for stickiness on your belly.

‘Fucked you good, huh, sweetheart?’ Eddie purred, cleaning you up.

‘Yes, Eddie, yes you did’ you smiled, grabbing his hand to plant a kiss on his palm ‘You always do’

He grinned happily.

‘Read for me?’ you asked, reaching out for the book. His hand on your waist pulled you closer until you were able to lay your cheek on his chest, him leaning against a headboard as Eddie’s soothing voice went on about the adventures of Frodo and his friends.

He smiled when he heard your quiet snores within ten minutes, planted a kiss on top of your head, falling asleep just a few minutes later.

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her-power · 1 month

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Lonely Pt. 1

Pairing: Eddie Munson x reader Zombie Apocalypse AU

Warnings:

Summary: A few days after the zombie apocolypse took over Hawkins you lost everyone. Once you finally run out of supplies, you're forced to venture out into the town, hoping not to run into anyone and make it to safety alive. Unfortunately, life doesn't always go how you want it.

*Not Proof Read*

This Fic does not mention body type, weight, race, gender, etc. If I happened to mess up and add a pronoun or anything that could define the readers appearance, please let me know so I can fix it. Ty!

ABC List Stranger Things Master List

*****

People are evil. They truly. When things get rough the worst parts of us tend to leak out. Maybe it's from fear, maybe it's from adrenaline. Whatever it is, the worst parts of us tend to leak out, forever changing us.

Three days after the virus hit Hawkins my family was killed. A group of blood thirsty survivors tore through my parents' house, killing everyone. Well almost everyone.

I managed to get out. I'm not sure how, but I did. I ran until my lungs hurt. Until I felt like I would die if I kept going.

Flashes of Jason Carver, the athlete turned cold blooded survivalist leader, killing my parents running through my mind. The lack of emotions sent shivers down my spine. How can someone take the life of another and not feel anything? Not feel guilty or disgusting. Somehow the previous three days turned the cocky pretty boy into an emotionless killer.

The personality change is terrifying.

I managed to find a house away from the inner heart of Hawkins. Away from the people. Thankfully, whoever lived there left behind a good amount of food and water.

Unfortunately, food and water can only last so long. I knew this day would come. The day where surviving off of the pantries of nearby homes wouldn't be possible anymore.

Frankly, I'm not sure how I've made it 6 months on my own. I still struggle to kill the zombie things out there. I hide away whenever they come out, hoping they don't hear me move around.

I tuck the last few remaining bits of food into my backpack before pulling the heavy pack onto my shoulders. I do one last sweep around the house, making sure I have everything I need.

I tightly grip onto the kitchen knife in my hand. Hopefully I don't run into a hoard. There's no way in hell I could survive if I do.

I close the front door of the house I've been borrowing for the past half a year. I feel anxiety bubble up in my stomach. I'm scared. I can't deny it. What if I get bitten? Or kidnapped by Jason Carver's pack of assholes?

I have no choice.

The sound of crunching leaves beneath my feet and wind are the only sounds I hear as I step onto empty street. It's silent, the way it has been for months. The last time I heard something was when a small group of zombies wandered through the the neighborhood, managing to somehow stumble into every garbage can possible.

Any sign of human life is gone. The lack of animals is terrifying. Is everything dead? What if I'm the only person alive.

Will I be alone forever?

It's been hard being alone for so long. There's not much you can do when you're by yourself with no access to electricity or running water.

I never thought I'd say this, but I miss my fucking job. At least there I got to talk to people, even if it was a forced greeting.

I finally make it out of the neighborhood. Even though I haven't been this far out in months, I remember every road. I know exactly how to get to the center of town.

There has to be some place with food, right? There's no way Jason Carver could have gotten absolutely everything.

As I pass another neighborhood, I immediately spot the smashed in doors. Windows are shattered and belongings from inside and thrown around the yard. People have raided here.

In a weird way it gives me some sort of hope. Maybe there are people besides Jason and his friends that are alive. Maybe they'll help me.

Not everyone can be evil, right?

Not everyone is a murderer.

A few cars litter the roads, rotting people sitting inside. Some have turned and others are still, their bodies decomposing.

I finally make it to the entrance of main street. All of the surrounding buildings are smashed in. I pass a four car crash in the center of the road, dried blood staining all around.

The loud sound of groans fills my ears. A shiver runs through my back.

There's a zombie somewhere out here.

I turn onto a nearby street and immediately regret my decision. Dozens of zombies wander around the street.

" Fuck. " I mumble, fear crawling it's way towards my throat.

The heads of the zombies snap towards me, their dead grey eyes piercing into my body like a knife.

They have fucking super hearing or some shit. I'm fucked. I'm fucked.

I quickly turn to run down the street. The sounds of shuffling feet follows behind me. They're not super fast, but there's no way I'd be able to run for miles with them behind me. If I stop running they'd easily catch up.

Clenching the knife in my hand, I run as I fast I can off of main street. Maybe I can make it back to the house? Fuck fuck!

Fuck me. The side road is blocked by another group of zombies. My old neighbors, people I used to talk to every day, quickly turn their hungry eyes on me.

I'm so screwed.

I have two fucking hoards behind me.

I turn onto another street, hoping there's not another group on this street.

I'm so caught up in panic that I don't register the sound of a speeding car and gun shots.

A brown and white van speeds in front of me. The door opens as it quickly halts to a stop a few feet in front of me.

" Get in! " The man yells. His eyes trained on the group behind me. In his hands is a large shot gun.

I hesitate. What if this guy fucking kills me?

" Earth to girl, get in the fucking van! " Another man in the drivers seat yells, shooting the pistol in his dirty hands.

Fuck it, being killed by them might hurt less than being eaten alive.

I scramble into the van, immediately noticing the pile of tools and weapons laying around.

The man at the van door slams it shut. He clutches onto the back of the passenger seat in front of him as the driver speeds down the street. He turns his attention to me, immediately raising his gun towards me when the van stops jumping around.

I push myself against the van wall, fear coursing through my veins. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I should've just gotten eaten. " Please don't hurt me! " I keep the knife in front of me, hoping it'll help somehow.

Who am I kidding, a fucking knife won't save me from shit.

" Drop the knife. " The man grunts. His face is covered by a short beard. His long frizzy hair is tied back into a bun, his head covered with a battered hat. A small scar runs down the left side of his face, near his eyebrow. His eyes look familiar but I can't quite place it.

Deciding it's probably best if I listen, I carefully set down the knife. " Okay, okay. " My breath is shaky.

" Check for bites. " The guy up front barks, glancing back at us from the rear view mirror. His skin is covered in splotches of dirt and grime, his eyes are covered with a pair of dark sunglasses. His hair however, reminds me of someone; Steve Harrington. It's neatly put up, only a few stray strands framing his face.

I don't have time to question the looks of the man up front before the guy holding a shotgun speaks to me.

" Show me your arms and legs. "

I don't hesitate to shrug off my bag and jacket. I pull up the ends up my sleeves, turning my arms back and forth before pulling up my jeans. I let out a small wince when I notice a large gash on my ankle. I have no idea where I got this. Maybe I scraped it against something? "

" Where did you get that? " The shotgun man asks, nodding down to my leg.

" I have no idea. I had no idea I was bleeding. "

" Tie them, E. " The man up front says nonchalantly.

My eyes widen. " What? But I haven't been bitten! I swear to god, I haven't been bitten. I-I'll take everything off and show you! " I offer, terrified about what these men are going to do to me.

Guilt flashes in the shot gun holding guys' eyes. " Look, until we know you're not dangerous or infected, we can't take any risks. If you're clear, you'll be out of this in no time. " The guy pulls a handful of zipties from his pocket. " Please give me your hands. "

I hesitantly hand his my hands, seeing no way out of this.

The guy quickly ties my hands and ankles before putting anything sharp in my reach in a locked box. He pulls a small red bag out of the box and scoots towards me.

I try to scoot further into the corner of the van, tucking my arms into my body.

The guy notices. " I'm not going to hurt you. " He pulls out a Band-Aid. " I'm gonna clean your cut up. If it's not infected with the virus, it's going to get infected by some other shit. The last thing you need is an fucked up leg. " His tone is slightly softer than it was a few minutes ago.

I allow him to take a look at my ankle. His cold hands pull my ankles onto his lap before he begins cleaning up my cut. The anti bacterial wipe stings but not bad enough to cause me to wince.

" Good news is it's not deep. Probably a branch or wire that scraped you. "

I take this opportunity to study the mans face. Small dark bags rest under his brown eyes. Over grown bangs droop past his eyes, pushes aside by him every once in a while.

Up closer I notice the shirt he's wearing. It's covered in dirt and blood, making it nearly impossible to tell it was once white. My eyes trace the familiar design. The Hellfire Club.

I was never apart of it, but I'd heard of it. I'd thought about joining back in high school but I was too scared. I worried they wouldn't let me play since I'd be the only girl in the group or think I wasn't good enough to join. I let my fears get the best of me.

" Eddie Munson? " I ask, my eyes looking up at the mans' face.

His eyes meet mine, widening in confusion. " Yeah? "

A little bit of relief fills my chest. I was never friends with Eddie, but I'd worked on a couple of assignments with him growing up. He was always kind and for the most part, did his part of the project. I'm not exactly sure why he got held back. He was smart, he just didn't seem to want to put in the hard work needed to graduate. It was like he didn't believe in himself.

" I'm Y/N. You probably don't remember me, it was so long- " I'm cut off by him.

" From world civ! " His lips curl into a small smile. " I remember you. "

My heart jumps a little. I'd always had a small crush on the dark haired boy. He was one of the reasons I wanted to join Hellfire. He'd talk about it sometimes during our projects, making it sound so fun.

" Is that Steve Harrington? " I ask, glancing to the driver.

" It's me. " Steve replies, his eyes not leaving the road. " Sorry, I don't think I remember you, Y/N. "

I nod. " I was 3 years older than you so we never really crossed paths. " I feel slightly more safe knowing I at least semi know the people I'm with. " Did we lose the zombies? "

" Yeah we lost them a while back. " Steve nods, his eyes glancing back at the rear view mirror every once in a while. " We're going to need to stop for gas soon, Eddie. "

" Fuck. " Eddie sighs. " Of course we are. "

" Should've filled the tank up when I told you. " Steve rolls his eyes.

Eddie finishes bandaging up my ankle before gently fixing the positioning of the ties around it. " I was busy grabbing bullets. "

The van pulls to a stop and Steve shuts off the engine, making sure to take the keys out of the ignition. " Grab the tube. "

Eddie grabs a small bag. A small tube pokes out of the top of it, quickly disappearing when Eddie shoves it down. " We'll be back. " He reassures me before opening the back doors and jumping out.

I quietly lean against the van wall.

" Let's just cut them free. " Eddie's voice is muffled slightly .

" No fucking way, Eddie. I know you know them, but we still have to follow protocol. We keep them tied for at least a week. Until we know they aren't infected. Besides, we don't even know if they're dangerous. They could slit our fucking throats and steal our supplies. " Steve's voice is stern.

Eddie sighs. " They wouldn't do that. I know they would- "

" When was the last time you saw them, Eddie? High school? It doesn't sound like you guys were friends when they graduated. I'm pretty sure you'd be able to recognize them faster if you were. " Steve points out.

" Well, yeah but they're a good person. They wouldn't do that shit. " Eddie defends me, making my heart jump a little.

My stupid fucking crush is back.

" It's been years Eddie. You don't know them. It's been 6 months since shit hit the fan. People change, especially after all the crap that's been going on. They probably aren't the same person they were years ago. Look, nobody's going to hurt them. We just have to keep the ties on until with get back to the lab. "

Eddie gives up arguing. The two return and Eddie tosses the bag on top of the tool box. The van slightly fills with the scent of gasoline as Eddie and Steve close the doors. The source being the tube.

Steve rolls down the front windows, letting air filter through the van.

Eddie sits across from me, his shot gun next to him. " We're going to help you. " He reassures me. " We just can't risk that you aren't infected. As soon as we're sure you can get those off. " He glances down at the zip ties.

I nod. " I understand. Thank you for saving me. "

Eddie smiles. " Of course. Couldn't just let you die out there. " He leans back against the van wall, crossing his arms. " We've got a bit of a ride, sit back and relax. "

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her-power · 2 months

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Fixation on the Darkness (Part Three: Dark Romance! e.m. x fem! reader)

‼️🚨18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT🚨‼️

Trigger/Content Warning: Dark! Somewhat Souless! Eddie! Strong sexual content, blood play, unprotected p+v, choking, hair pulling, rough intercourse, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (f receiving *for now*), fight or flight responses, grief, thoughts of unaliving self & others, manipulation, violence, smut, some fluff, angst.

Summary: Full summary on part one.

Word Count: 7.1k

A/N: Shoutout to my girl who helped me work the edits in this one! @fearless-wretch-insanity

He was already there when you got home. He had brought you flowers; dead ones, but it was a nice thought. Seemed pretty metaphorical as well, he found the joke funnier than you did. You weren’t in the mood for him; the murders had been on your mind the rest of the night. He notices your disdain when you fix yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and it only made him happier. He enjoyed watching you flinch away from him, it felt like a game to him.

“Aww, did someone have a tough day?” He mockingly frowns at you from where he leaned against the door in the kitchen. You grip the knife in your hand after you cut the sandwich, and on impulse you whip the knife towards him. He catches it with one hand, smiling large. His eyes glimmer as he walks towards you and you attempt to avoid his gaze, realizing your mistake, forgetting that this man wasn’t anything close to the Eddie you once knew. Not that the Eddie you knew would make you want to throw a knife at his skull, but you’ve surprised yourself a lot these last few days.

“That wasn’t very nice.” He says, his voice low, but he was still smiling. You had nowhere to run, nowhere to safely get away from him, but you weren’t afraid. You held your own.

“I’m sorry I missed.” You say, keeping your face still, meeting his eyes. He grins larger, his form closing the gap between you as he held the knife in his hand. You don’t take your eyes away from his; you knew that’s what he wanted you to do, to wonder what he was gonna do with the knife. He brings the blade up beside your cheek, your breath hitches but you don’t look away from him.

“This wouldn’t have killed me, you know.” He grins, biting his lower lip. “I’m already dead.” His cheek grazes your ear lobe as he leans behind you, dropping the knife in the sink, taking the sandwich from your plate and taking a bite. “Why the sudden urge to maim me, my love?”

He scrunches his face mid bite, spits the sandwich from his mouth onto the floor. Your face morphs in disgust because even though that was gross, he was still cute when he did it. “Your bread is moldy.” He tosses the sandwich in the trash and wipes his face.

“So what exactly do you do at night when you leave here? Murder people?” You just asked him straight out, you were too tired, now too hungry to bite back the lingering questions.

His eyes flash with delight. “Murder people? I’m offended you would think I would waste my time killing innocents…the ones who don’t deserve breath in their lungs are ones I take my time with.”

“So it is you!” You yell at him, your anger seething. “They found two bodies by Lover’s lake!”

“Ahhh yes. Heard about that.” He smiles. “Hate to break it to you sweetheart, that’s not me. Been doing this life for awhile now, I’m not that messy.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, your head pounding, your eyes were filling with tears. “What…even…are you? What are you? You’re clearly not human. You died…somewhere. And now you’re here. You’re you, but you’re not. You’re this thing. I look at you and I see the face of the man I fell in love with, the man that made me promises that he couldn’t fucking keep. And I should be grateful right? Grateful that I have a part of you back? But I’m not! Because you’re not even close to being him! Yet here I am, drawn to this presence of yours. And I don’t even know why! You claim that I’m yours, but fuck that. The only person I belong to is dead. I guess you’re just the next best thing.”

He crosses his arms over his chest, smirking. “Are you done?”

Your face falls, and rage courses through your veins. “Fuuuuuck YOU, you fucking monster!” You yell, pushing past him but he’s quick, and he pulls you back against his chest. His hand pulls roughly at the back of your hair, and you groan. His cold hands grip your arms tightly and you struggle in his grasp. His cold breath hits your neck, and you shudder.

“Your sob story pains me, it really does. I’m surprised Eddie himself didn’t throw himself in front of a train with how much you complain.”

You try to break free, but his hold tightens painfully. “Fuck. You.”

His nose runs along your cheek. “Mmm. Not yet. If I haven’t made myself clear, you are mine. You’re not his. He doesn’t exist anymore; you’re stuck with me. I may have just walked back into your life a few days ago, but I’ve been watching you for over a year. And you can’t stand here and claim you don’t love it because your body tells me otherwise.”

“I can still say no.” You say through your teeth.

“Of course you can. I’m not that much of a monster where I’m deaf to the word no.” He giggles. “I guess that little bit of Eddie is still there. Monsters like that still exist sweetheart, I’m just doing my part to eradicate them.”

“How noble of you.”

He chuckles in your ear. “You know how to test me, sweetheart. It would take me two seconds to snap your neck and bleed you dry. But there’s something about you that stops me from doing so. You’re intoxicating. Even your essence radiates something so…appealing to me. That’s why I can’t stay away. I have this unfortunate need to protect you.”

“My hero.” You sneer looking at him and he loosens his hold on your hair but keeps his grip on your arms.

“You should be more careful of me, sweetheart.” He says, his teeth grazing your ear lobe and you shudder out a gasp. He grins, his hand slides to your belly, his cold hands gently rubbing your skin under your shirt. “Try to be a good girl and don’t throw sharp pointy things at my face, wouldn’t want to ruin your seat.” You scoff, pulling out of his grasp and he lets you go, laughing. You lean on the back of the couch for support, glaring up at him. “What are you?”

He shrugs, smiling. “Been trying to figure that out for the last year since I’ve crawled back out of that place.”

“What place?”

He pauses, tilting his head and grins. “Heaven.”

Your eyes narrow and you shake your head. He’d continue to be cryptic, keep secrets, keep you guessing, make you wonder. You don’t press further; you needed to numb yourself. Or wake up from this nightmare. Both sounded appealing. You ignore him as you walk back into the kitchen to rifle through your liquor cabinet. You find an unopened bottle of bourbon and pull a glass down. You could feel his eyes on you as you unscrew the top of the bottle, pouring the brown liquid it into the glass. You knock it back in one swig, wincing as the liquid burns down your throat.

You stare out your kitchen window into the darkness, the moon was full and hung low.

“What do you eat?” You ask him, pouring another glass.

“Food, like you, I just don’t like my meat cooked.” You can hear the smile in his tone and you take another sip. “Blood, but that’s a special treat. I don’t need it to survive.”

You chuckle. “So, not a vampire.”

“No.” He smiles, you can feel him behind you. “Does that disappoint you?”

“No.” You turn towards him now, holding the glass against your chest. “Why did you come find me after a year?”

He smiles at you, brushing your hair behind your shoulder. “I wanted to know what your grief tasted like.”

You swallow hard, your heart does a back flip. For some reason you don’t believe that’s all.

“Do you love me?”

He stretches his arms, grinning, taking the glass of bourbon out of your hands and taking a sip. “Define love.”

You take the bottle from the counter, putting the top to your lips. You could feel the alcohol buzz in your veins. Your empty stomach didn’t help, but it made you looser, made you care less. “What we were.”

He blinks, you see a familiarity cross his eyes for a moment, but it goes away, his gaze cold. “I don’t remember.” You set the bottle down on the counter, you reach up to touch his face. He doesn’t move away from you, just watches as you run your hands over his cheeks, his jaw, his soft lips. His face was cold. You move your hands down to the center of his chest and open your palm.

No heartbeat.

Why would there be?

You stare at the top of your hand, trying to will the feel of his heartbeat. When there was nothing, you pull your hands away, but he takes them back. He pulls them up to his face and you curl your fingers through the curls in his hair. His eyes linger on your lips.“Put your mouth on mine.” He says softly, and you throw yourself at him. He stumbles backwards, trying to find his footing as he hoists you up by your ass and you wrap your legs around his waist tightly. You moan as your tongue goes into his mouth and his hands grip your face, his mouth moving to your lips, your chin, your neck.

He crashes your bodies against the wall in the hallway on the stairs, the picture frames shake and his lips meet your mouth again. You groan at the impact, but the alcohol was making you brave. You also wanted to feel something else, you wanted to know how it felt to be fucked by him. Eddie was passionate and sexy in all the right ways when he was alive, but you knew this would be different. He sits on the steps, pulling you to his lap and you peel off your shirt. His eyes blackened as he stares at your naked chest and he takes both of your breasts in his hands, tweaking your nipple as your head falls back in pleasure.

“Bite me again.” You breath out, his cold hand cups the back of your neck as he stares up at you in wonder. “I want to know what I taste like.”

That was true.

A growl rumbles in his chest, and he spins you around so your back is against the steps. He rips your pants off of you, the fabric falling to the floor and he pushes your legs apart. You lean on your elbows, sighing loudly as his mouth kisses your inner thighs, your navel, and he pulls your underwear down with his teeth. You lay naked as he sits back on his heels, admiring you. You watch his entire face change, his eyes darkening to a red, the webs under his eyes, and his teeth grow.

“Where?” His voice was deep, a wetness forms in between your legs. You run your palm over your inner thigh.

“Here, and…” your hand goes up to touch your neck. “Here.”

He grins widely, leaning his face towards your waist. “Do you want it to hurt?”

You swallow hard, and nod once. “Yeah.”

He grins again, moaning to himself. “Woman after my dead heart.” Another growl is heard, and he lets out a loud groan. You feel the sharpness of his teeth bite into your skin and you gasp loudly. It hurt so fucking bad, but as soon as you felt his tongue lap around the bite your entire body buzzes with adrenaline and pleasure, you grip at his curly hair. He lifts his head up gasping after a few moments, moaning and smiling.

“Unnnnghhh. I can taste the alcohol in your blood.” His fingers move around the blood pooling from the bite, your chest heaves as he glides his fingers up your navel, over your breasts. You see the bright red smear of your blood as he brings his finger up to your lips. His finger toys at your lips, and you open your mouth. He moans softly as he pushes his fingers further into your mouth and you suck your blood from the tips. It tasted like metal, it was warm, sweet, you thought you maybe could taste the alcohol too. His other hand moves down between your legs, palming your clit gently. The sensation was unreal, you couldn’t stop the noises that were coming from you as his fingers glide against your tongue. Pulling his hand away, you meet his mouth, kissing him hungrily. Your hand travels down to his stomach and over his pants, you feel his hardness through his pants and you grip him in your hand. He groans against your mouth.

“I want you to fuck me.” You say breathlessly. He grins at you, his teeth stained in your blood, you could barely feel the pain from there, you could only feel the warmth of the liquid as it dripped down your leg.

“Will you admit that you’re mine?” He whispers, the tip of his tongue licks your lips from the top to the bottom. You pull his head back by his hair tightly, and he chuckles, straining in your grasp but he smiles. His throat rumbles, you could tell he was enjoying this side of you. He still flashed his fangs; your blood was dripping from his chin as he grinned.

“Only if you admit that you’re mine.”

He chuckles again. “Now and forever, baby.”

You kiss him again, and the next moment you feel like you’re floating. When you open your eyes, you’re in your bedroom. He lays you down and stands over you. He unbuttons his shirt slowly, and your eyes scan his beautiful form. He pulls off his pants in one motion and he just stares at you. He was so beautiful. Even in this light. Even with how menacing he looked. His wounds were almost fully healed, only scarring remained. His muscles clench as he looks at you, ready to eat. You bend your knees, opening your legs for him. You run your hand over the blood from your thigh, running your hands along your skin, trailing the blood in a stripe over parts of your body. His eyes dart around your skin and watches as you move your blood-soaked hand towards your clit. He moans, diving into your pussy and sucking on your clit. You moan loudly, pulling at his hair, and you feel his tongue lap the blood from your thigh, licking and sucking your skin all the way your breasts, sucking on your hardened nipples. He hovers above you, his discolored eyes gazing down at you, and you run your thumb along his lip. The blood still wet.

You were holding your breath before he slid himself into you, and when you felt the length of him stretch you out painfully, your nails dig at his back, and you exhale loudly. He lets out a moan, his face resting near your neck as he thrusts into you deeper. You cry out, tears spring to your eyes at the pressure, and the sensation causes your toes to curl. He leans up on his arms, smiling at you. He slides out of you slowly, and then slams himself into you. Your back arches and a broken moan escapes you. He does it again, and again, and again. His hand grips your thigh where your blood still drips onto the sheets, and he goes faster.

“Unghhhhh, oh…my…god…fuck…fuck.” You moan loudly and he lets out a satisfied grunt as he rocks his hips. The headboard violently hits the wall, and you swear you heard it crack. He meets your lips, roughly putting both your hands together and pinning them above your head. His lips go to your throat, and he meets your eyes. You angle your throat up towards his lips and he groans. A sound escapes him that reminded you of a wild animal, and you scream when you feel his teeth bite into your neck. He fucks you harder as his tongue laps the blood from your neck; you felt hot and cold all at once, your neck stung, but it was such a different sensation you couldn’t form into words how you were feeling. You grab his ass, forcing him deeper into you and he groans, his bloody mouth meeting yours. He still has your arms pinned. You felt dizzy, but he stopped drinking from you. He leans back to look at you, his eyes flash with delight with the sight of you. You couldn’t stop moaning, he felt so good inside you. You watch as he brings his wrist up to his mouth and bites. He holds your chin in his hand and moves his wrist over your mouth. His blood was surprisingly warm as it drips onto your lips, your chin, and he presses his skin to your lips, and you suck. He moans at the contact, and you grip his wrist, letting the sweet, warm liquid flow down your throat.

“You’ll feel better in a minute.” He says to you, and he was right. Something burned in your veins, and your orgasm hovered at the apex of your thighs and your tummy. He pulls his wrist away, grabbing your thighs and rocking you until you couldn’t take it anymore. The sight of him was unbelievable, his face, chin, chest and stomach were covered in your blood, his blood. You felt sticky all over and felt so much more alive than you had in months.

“Come for me, baby.” He grunts through his teeth. “I know you’re close, come on baby…” he groans and you cry out as he slams into you. “Unnnngfgggh come on, just like that baby.”

Your nails dig at his back, you feel your pussy clench around him as your orgasm hits your depths and you’re screaming in pleasure. He continues to roughly fuck you; your moans were broken shrieks and gasps as he continued his rhythm. He shudders above you and a guttural growl escapes his lips as he’s coming inside you, his warm seed painting your insides. His head lays on your chest, his tongue swirls around the blood on your skin, gently sucking on your nipple. He grins against your skin, and you sigh loudly.

You wanted more.

Your entire bedroom looked like a crime was committed; there was blood on the walls, the sheets, the floor. You had ridden him on the floor, begging him to bite you more and feed you some of his blood after. Your entire body was sore, but you kept going. He took care of you, but he also violated you and you let him. The way his blood felt in your veins made you feel drunker, but it also made you feel like you could take on anything.

When you could no longer feel your legs, he had carried you to the bathtub. He had already filled it with warm water, and you had relaxed as soon as it hit your skin. He had sat behind you in the tub, gently using a washcloth to the wipe the blood from you. It was such an intimate moment between the two of you, so calm and gentle. It felt like before, like you and your Eddie. You sat there silently, watching the water turn a shade of pink and wishing with all your heart that it could stay like this forever. This was the only moment you felt where you were sitting with Eddie, these gentle moments like this. Your neck stung but you didn’t feel any marks, you wondered if his blood had something to do with that. You were so tired; your head has lulled onto his shoulder, and you could hear him sigh in annoyance. Then, he lifts you out of the tub and carries you back into your bedroom. You’re surprised to see that your room looks like it did this morning, no trace of your earlier activities remain. He lays you down, throwing the covers up to your chin. Your eyes are half lidded as you watch him get dressed.

Before you realize what you’re doing you hear yourself ask, “Do you know if he thought of me? Before he died?”

He pauses, looks over at you with his brow raised and replies, “I don’t know.”

“Do you really not know, or you just don’t want to tell me?” The pillow smells clean.

“I don’t know.” He growls. “Go to sleep.”

“Will you lay down with me?”

He lets out an annoyed sigh. “Will you stop bringing him up?”

You nod against the pillow, your eyes feeling heavy. You feel the bed shift with his weight, and you curl yourself into him. He stiffens at the contact but then you feel his cold hand slink over your waist. You had fallen asleep quickly and dreamt of better things.

Dreamt of Eddie.

Trying to find you.

Eddie had waited until you had fallen asleep to leave the house. He was surprisingly sore himself; he didn’t know what had gotten into you. But he couldn’t complain, he would fuck you over and over if you asked. He could savor every moment with your blood if you asked, too. It bothered him more than he liked to admit everytime you brought up the “old” Eddie. Something inside him stirred every-time, like he was remembering a distant memory of what you two once were. That Eddie was somewhere deep inside him, somewhere locked up never to return again. You were worried he was committing murder.

Well, he was. Just to the people who didn’t deserve to be living. The actual murderers, rapists, abusers, child molesters. Eddie enjoyed taking his time with them. He enjoyed watching the fear in their eyes and their light dim out when they took their final breaths. He had hidden in the shadows when he got to the road leading to Lover’s Lake. The snow made everything still, and he had to be careful. He knew investigators would still be scoping the area, so it was a good thing he knew how to disguise himself into the darkness. He needed to see what he was dealing with, if he had to shelter you from a possible serial killer, or it was something that came out of the same place he did. He smelt the blood before he even got to the area, there was a lot of it. He scales up the bark of a tree and balances himself on a branch. He spots three crime scene investigators, a local police officer, and someone from the FBI. Eddie immediately could tell this was the work of a human. The blood splatter started towards the tree line, looking like they were dragged a long a path. There were imprints in the dirt of different types of shoes.

“It’s so similar to last year…” one of the investigators say, his flashlight shining on the ground, the snow on the ground made everything brighter, and the blood more pigmented. “Not so much the eyes but the limbs…more blood loss.”

“Well, our main suspect was cleared because there was no evidence, and he’s dead.”

“They never found his body though.”

“He’s dead, Chris. That kid never stood a chance from where he was allegedly killed in the earthquake.”

“Do you think he did it? Even though he was cleared?”

“I didn’t think he had anything to do with it in the beginning. It’s always the boyfriend. He turns up missing, presumed dead, throws a big speech at the town meeting about demon worshipping and causing mass hysteria. Textbook murderer right there.”

“I guess we’ll never know.”

“Unfortunately, no.” The investigator sighs. “I think we did enough searching here for any other evidence. We have enough blood samples. The medical examiner is processing the blood from the leaves.”

“Those poor kids. They were so young. I don’t understand how they could be fully drained of blood and only this much of it was left at this scene.”

“That’s what we’re gonna find out.”

“I don’t know. I think it’s a lost cause again.”

Eddie listens as their voices fade off into the distance and waits until the area is dead silent. He jumps down from the branch, landing gracefully on his feet. He kicks the dirt around with his toe; it was still wet with blood. If the bodies were drained of blood there would be more of it, it unsettled him a little that there wasn’t. It was also pretty comical to him that his name was still brought up in regard to last years murders. He was surprised that one of the investigators didn’t believe it was him from the beginning. Would’ve been nice to have someone like that on his side.

Too late now.

He had a new life.

He glances over at the water, the stillness of it all. The way the moonlight hit the half-frozen lake reminded him of an optical illusion. It was a mirror image; eerie, beautiful. He recalls being so terrified on this lake when his friends dove into the water to save Steve Harrington. He recalls shame. Shame and guilt. He chuckles; those feelings were the tastiest. He turns from the lake; he wasn’t gonna find any answers here. He just had to be more vigilant, keep an eye on things if they seemed off. If the murderer was smart, he wouldn’t hit the same spot twice.

He walks back towards the road when a painful flash stings him behind his eyes. He groans, his body falling awkwardly against the tree.

“Come on!”

He’s smashing the bats with the trash can lid, his veins were seething with rage. He needed to come back to you.

He tries to walk a few more steps and collapses to his knees, he growls, the pain radiating behind his eyes into his ears.

“Eddie the banished…the freak. What do you want the most?”

The voice was deep in his ears, monstrous, guttural, sounding like it was in a lot of pain. He was already dead; he could feel it.

“I promised her…” He says weakly.

“Yes. You did. That promise is broken now. My world is open as both worlds collide. Exist as one. Eleven couldn’t stop me, she still can’t.”

“Please…bring me back.”

“Too weak…can only bring some of you…for a price.”

“Name it…”

“Your soul. I will control your soul.”

Eddie nails dig into the cold ground, the pain in his head getting worse. He could feel that part of him that was once Eddie trying to break free, but that was impossible, he has control, not the good natured, fucking metalhead freak you love so much.

“Don’t. Even. Try. It.” Eddie says through his teeth, and eventually the pain in his head subsides. He lets out a groan, getting to his feet on shaky legs. This was new, he thought. Seems like the monster didn’t take his entire soul, just pieces.

Well, this was going to be a problem.

You had woken up more refreshed than you had in weeks. There was something different about you when you looked in the mirror. Your skin was clearer, your eyes were brighter, your hair even seemed thicker. It was cold, but the sun was warm. The snow was melting, it dripped noisily on your roof. You wanted to go to the cemetery. Even though he was physically here, part of you still imagined the person who loved you could hear you. It brought you a sense of comfort, being able to sit and just be there with the essence of him. You threw on your long black peacoat and buttoned yourself up. A certain smell hits you and you almost topple over. You press your face in the collar of the jacket and inhale.

It smelt like him.

There was lingering cigarette smoke, a hint of old spice and mint. He loved this jacket on you, he would tell you and he would hug you close, nuzzling his face in the fabric.

You felt tears spring to your eyes and you inhale through your nose. You take your car keys from the hook and walk outside. You wait a few minutes for your car to warm up before you pull out of your driveway. You push a cassette tape into the slot, and James Hetfield’s booming voice comes through the speakers. You drum your fingers along the steering wheel as you drove along the road towards the cemetery. The iron gates approach your view and you make a slow turn into the path. There was more to see since the snow melted, and as soon as your eyes fix on the top of a young boy's head in front of Eddie’s grave, you almost jump out of the car without putting it in park.

“Hey!” You yell and his face snaps up to look at you. You watch as who you assume is his friend jump out from the bushes and run the opposite direction, dropping spray paint as he ran. The kid who saw you lost his footing and ended up tripping over his own two feet. You had grabbed him by his jacket, pinning him roughly against the tree. You could feel your eyes blazing as you stared at him.

“Looks like your friend left you here. What a shame. Could’ve got a two for one deal.”

The kid struggles in your grasp, he didn’t look older than seventeen. “He made me do it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Bull shit. No one makes you do anything, make your own choices.” You didn’t know what was coming over you, but the sudden urge to continually smash his head against the tree was so overwhelming it was starting to scare you. “You’re lucky I caught you before you painted over his name. Do you know how long it takes for his uncle to get the paint off? No? Well you probably don’t care, do you? You just want to look like a badass in front of your friends. Hey, I get it.” He tries to break free from your grasp, but you push him roughly back against the bark, this wasn’t you, but…you enjoyed this. “It’s nice to look cool when you’re this age. But you’re gonna listen to me. You’re gonna catch up with your friend and you’re gonna tell him that if I ever see you or anyone else in this cemetery, I’m gonna dig a fucking hole in the ground and I will bury you alive. Do you hear me? And if that doesn’t work, I will light it on fire. Your parents won’t be able to recognize you because you’ll be fucked up beyond belief. Do I make myself clear?”

He trembles in your grasp and nods his head. You grin at him, knowing the smile was sinister. “Good. Now run along, don’t want to keep your friend waiting. Pick up the cans of spray paint. Littering isn’t cool.”

You grin as he runs away from you, picking up the cans of spray paint as he run and almost stumbles on his two feet again. You get to your feet and when you turn you see Dustin standing by Eddie’s grave, looking at you with wide eyes. You sigh, feeling immediately guilty.

“Dustin…”

“Was that really necessary?” He says to you.

“They’ve been tagging his grave, of course it was.” You say walking towards him.

“There’s one thing to scare them but you threatened them. What are you doing?”

“Dustin I was joking.” You tell him, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“No you weren’t.” He shakes his head. “I get that you’re grieving and that you miss him but so do I. I’m not gonna take that out on a younger kid.”

“Aren’t you tired of this town still branding him a murderer? After everything?!” You yell at him.

“Of course I’m tired of it! But nothing will change. We just have to deal with it.” He sighs. “He wouldn’t want us to be fighting right now.”

“No. He wouldn’t.” You sigh, running your hands through your hair. “I’m sorry.”

He nods, giving you a sweet smile. “It’s okay…I’m just worried about you, dude. You’re alone in that house, you don’t come out anymore. Steve said he spooked you the other day.”

“Well he seemed spooked when he left.” You walk around to the front of Eddie’s grave, wiping the melted snow off the top.

“Yeah, the murders.”

“You better not be going out by yourself at night still.” You say sternly.

“I’m…not.” Dustin gives you a goofy grin.

You stare at him. “Dustin. I’m serious. If there’s a serial killer out there or even a wild animal, you need to be careful.”

“I am careful.” He tells you.

“Promise me you’ll be careful. And come to my house if you don’t feel safe. I don’t care what time it is.”

He sighs. “Okay, mom.”

“Dustin…” you put on your stern voice.

“Okay! Okay! I promise! Jeez.”

“Thank you.” You smile at him.

“You’re worse than my own mom.”

“Someone’s gotta look out for you. Eddie would come back to haunt me if I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

You stood in your kitchen after nightfall and stirred the pot with homemade soup. You had the Ride the Lightening album playing low on the record player in the living room as you cooked. Once you had felt it was ready to be served you pour yourself a bowl, as you turn you gasp, Eddie was standing in the doorframe with a smug smile.

“Smells good.” He smirks. “Doesn’t smell like it’s been sitting out for a year.”

“Help yourself.” You give him a sarcastic smirk, walking to the living room couch.

“I already ate, thanks.”

You roll your eyes, setting your bowl on the coffee table waiting for it to cool. You turn the speaker up on the record player as Fade to Black began. You hear Eddie’s breath hitch, and you turn to him.

“What is that?” His eyes are wide, he looks pained.

“What is what?”

“That…that sound…what…” he takes a step back, his shoulder bumping into the doorframe as he shakes his head.

“Music?” You raise your eyebrows. “Metallica? Did you…”

“No!” He screams, causing you to jump out of your skin and he loses his balance, walking backwards back into the kitchen. “Turn it off! Turn it off…ungghhhhhhahhhh!”

Your eyes widen as you watch him hold his head, his face scrunched in pain. “Eddie? What’s wrong? What’s…”

You freeze mid step as he groans out in pain, he falls to his knees screaming. His fingers are pulling at his hair, and you get on his level, trying to pull his arms down. He pulls away from you, scrambling backwards until his back hits the lower cabinets.

“Fuuuuuuck! No! Stay away! You’re not supposed to be…aghhhhhhhh!” You watch in horror as he continues to scream, he’s smashing his back against the cabinets, almost cracking the wood and just as quickly as it started, he stops. He’s breathing heavily, his hair is covering his face, his hands are shaking.

You slowly crawl towards him. “Eddie?”

He lifts his gaze to yours. A soft whimper escapes you; your hand immediately flies to your mouth. His eyes.

They were no longer that odd color; no longer had hints of red and orange. They were brown.

Chocolate brown.

He looks at you like he’s seeing you for the first time, his eyes wide and fearful. You felt your throat close as you try to swallow; the two of you are just staring at each other. He says your name, his lip trembling.

You move closer to him, and he still watches you. “Eddie?” You reach your hand out to touch his face and he flinches; his hand automatically grips your wrist but not hard. He stares in your eyes; his other hand shakily goes to cup your cheek. His touch was still cold, but…his eyes.

Your fingers twirl in his hair, his eyes are filling with tears and he asks you. “Are you really here?”

Words are stuck in your throat, but you nod. A whimper escapes him and he’s pulling you towards him gently by the back of your neck, hugging you to his chest. “I tried to get out so long ago…but…I was stuck. Then I heard the music…oh god, I found you.

You pull back to look at his face. You touch his hair, his cheeks, his lips. You needed to make sure this was him, that he was real.

You think of a memory.

“Do you think I’m funny?” You ask him, laying your head on his lap. It was summer 1985, you two were in your back yard.

He giggles. “Yeah. Only because you think you’re funny.”

“That’s rude.” You laugh. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

“Obviously.” He laughs, rolling his eyes. You reach your hand up to run your fingers over his scalp and his eyes flutter closed.

“Do you love me?”

He gazes down at you, smiling sweetly, his dimples large. “Always.”

You stare into his eyes.

“Do you love me?” You ask him.

His eyes dart from your lips to your eyes. “Always.” A tear falls down his cheek and you gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck. His arms hug your waist, and you cry, his shoulders shake with sobs.

“Oh, I missed you so much.” You mutter into his shoulder.

“I was trapped.” He tells you. “I could see…some of the things that were happening through his eyes…my eyes. It was like snapshots. I would hear your voice, and it was like a force was holding me back.” He pulls back, cupping your cheeks. “How bad did I hurt you?”

You shake your head. “Not bad.” A part of you felt guilty, guilty for the things you’ve done with him. You felt guilty for how his soulless part made you feel. How a part of you craved that feeling; that pain.

“Where did you go?” You ask him. “No one will tell me anything. Dustin said you died…but your body was nowhere to be found…the earthquake destroyed most of the trailer park…”

“Earthquake?”

You nod. “Completely destroyed most of Hawkins. It’s still in disrepair.”

He inhales a shaky breath. “We were too late.”

“What?” You raise your eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Dustin…he’s okay?” He looks panicked now.

“Yeah, physically but…Eddie, what are you talking about?”

He stares at you, like he’s trying to find the right words. He holds your face, leans forward to kiss your lips softly. You automatically kiss him back but pull away and your eyes narrow.

“No, no. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to say cryptic shit and then kiss me to make it all better. You’ve been keeping secrets from me since Chrissy Cunningham was murdered. What are you protecting me from?”

He stares at you, his eyes dart all over your face. “I can’t tell you.”

You narrow your eyes. “Eddie. I have spent over a year not knowing what happened to you. And then you come back to me as you but you’re not you. You’re mean, dark, manipulative, and somehow - I still love you. What happened to you?”

“You wouldn’t believe me.” He whispers.

“Try me.”

So, he tells you.

Not everything, but enough.

The important things.

How he really died, how he made a deal.

He literally made a deal with the devil.

You stare at his face, your eyes wide. “Get it back from him.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It was simple enough for you to give it to him. So, get it back! Find him!” You move away from him and get to your feet to pace. He stands with you, looking at you with sad eyes.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He says gently, his eyes rimmed with tears. “It was the only way.”

“But that part of you doesn’t even want to be with me! That part of you just wants to fuck me, use me up and take control!” You’re sobbing now. “What am I supposed to do now?”

He walks towards you, taking your face in his hands and you squeeze your eyes shut, shaking your head. “Look at me. I will find out a way to change this.”

“How?” You cry. “You said it yourself that you were trapped.”

“Trapped inside the upside down. Which is him. Time doesn’t make sense there, and neither does physical beings or bodies. I could hear the music; I could see the light to get back to you but I don’t know how long I have until he realizes I’m gone.” He curls his fingers in your hair. “Tell Dustin everything. Tell him that I’m alive…just…different.”

“But what about the murders?”

“The murders?” He raises his eyebrows.

“Two people were found dead at lover’s lake. They won’t say what happened…but what if it’s this Vecna?”

“It’s not.” Eddie says quietly. “Not by a long shot. He’s too weak.” He stares at your face. “Please be careful, I can’t lose you.”

“The other side of you has an obsessive need to make sure I’m safe, so I think I’ll be okay.” You smirk at him, gently touching his face, and he runs his thumb along your bottom lip.

“Listen to me. I know how dangerous I am, especially without my soul. If I do anything that hurts you, or if something doesn’t seem right. You kill me. Do you understand?”

“Eddie…” Tears stream down your face.

“Promise me.” He shakes your face gently. “Promise me.”

You let out a sob. “I promise.”

He flinches and shudders away from you, holding his stomach. You take his hands, holding them to your face. “No no no no. Not yet, not yet! Don’t go yet.” You cry and he lets out a choked sob, and he shakes his head.

“You need to let me go; I will find you again.” He says, clenching his teeth and he winces in pain. “Annnghhhh. I promise you.” He holds your face, kissing you once, twice, so sweetly.

“Eddie.” You cry, holding his hands tightly. “Don’t go, please, please don’t leave me.”

“Remember what I said. Talk to Dustin.” He pulls back from you, and you see his eyes start to change. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You whisper, and the wind brushes through your hair and he’s gone, the sound of your front door slams and you collapse to your knees, wailing in heartbreak, in grief.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fluff #eddie munson x smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson fem!reader #Eddie Munson x dark romance!#Spotify

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her-power · 2 months

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Fixation on the Darkness (Part Two: Dark Romance! e.m. x fem! reader)

‼️❌🛑18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🛑❌‼️

Summary: Full Summary on Part One

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: There will be mentions of Vecna and El throughout the series, but I'm also going to be putting my own little spin on things where a lot of the ideas will be original. Thank you all for reading!

“I didn’t run away this time, right?” The pain was unbearable, his teeth clenched.

“No. No. No. You didn’t run.” Dustin sobs.

“You’re gonna have to look after those little shits for me, okay?” He was fading…he could feel it.

“No, you’re gonna do that yourself!”

“Nah, man. Say I’m gonna look after them, say it.” It hurts so bad.

“I’m gonna…I’m gonna look…after them.”

“Good.” He tastes blood. “I need…I need you to tell her…tell her that I’m sorry. And that I’ll always love her, and to…” He choked on his tears and blood. “Tell her to just live her life…she was the best…part of mine.”

“I will…” Dustin sobs, Eddie lets out a choked breath.

“I love you, man.”

“I love you too.”

He didn’t feel the pain anymore, he was fading away…the darkness was swallowing him whole.

Thunder booms, an electric shock rumbles the ground. The bats that were still alive circle around him, watching, waiting. They would’ve feasted on the rest of his dead flesh, but something was happening. His hands twitch, the red sky glinting off his metal rings. His body jerks violently, his limbs twisting at odd angles before setting back to normal, a painful groan escapes his lips, and he inhales deeply, his lungs expanding. He stares up at the dark red sky, tilting his head as his vision adjusts and he was seeing things…differently.

The sky was beautiful, he thought. Before, this was a place of his nightmares, a place that was the cause of the death of an innocent girl. A place that inhabited creatures of the unknown, a monster that controlled those creatures.

He felt at home here.

He sits up straight, craning his neck to the side, he grunts when he feels his neck readjust and the bones make a loud sickening crack. He gazes at his hands, unusually pale, bloody. Lifting his shirt, he sees that the fatal wounds that took his life were now scarring, and his skin healing.

He chuckles, and he’s surprised at the mania behind it. He died in Dustin’s arms, crying like a little girl, making him promise to tell you all those stupid fucking things that made him want to puke. He pulls the bandana off of his head, tossing it to the side. His throat burned, and his ears rang. He gracefully gets to his feet, his eyes gazing up at the sky.

Those fucking bats.

One makes a nosedive towards him; he snatches the thing out of the air by the throat, he grins widely at his quick reflexes. The bat screeches in his hand, he tightens his hold on its neck, hearing a crunch and something animalistic escapes his throat. He feels a rumble in his chest, the ringing in his ears getting louder. He growls, ripping into the flesh of the bat with his teeth, feeling the black blood drip down his chin, flowing to the back of his throat. He drops the limp creature to the ground, sighing loudly. A pain hits the depth of his stomach, and he falls to his knees; his whole-body jerks, he feels like he’s been branded by a hot iron. He screams loudly, his fingers digging into the solid ground underneath him. It feels like his heart is beating out of his chest but he’s pretty sure he doesn’t have a heartbeat. He groans again, feeling a shooting pain go through his veins now and he collapses to his back, screaming loud. Something was happening to him, was he dying all over again? He grits his teeth, trembling in pain as another wave slams into his entire body.

As quickly as it started, it stops. His skin becomes smoother, his muscles become tighter, and he feels stronger. He sits up straight, gazing at his hands. They were his hands, but pale, and…

Whoa.

He laughs, his fingernails grow into claws, black as night. He wills them away and they disappear, back were his normal fingernails. He flexes his fingers, and the claws extend again. He grins, feeling something sharp nip at his bottom lip. His incisors were longer, but they weren’t just a second ago…or were they? He drags his tongue over his teeth, feeling the remnants of the blood from the bat and those sharp points disappear. Mmm. Who would’ve thought they’d taste so good?

He was hungry for more; not for the bats but something else, something he could nurse…something he could…savor. Your face appears in his mind, and he grins.

Oh, the poor thing. He laughs. I’m dead and now she’s lost forever. Poor…poor thing. I wonder if she still dreams of me, I wonder if I fuck her blind in her dreams, or she rides me until she can’t feel her legs. Mmm, she was a good fuck. That I remember. I know whatever is left of the old Eddie inside me is desperate to return to her, to hold her, love her. Ugh.

I wonder what her grief tastes like.

One year before the Upside Down…

“Wake up, sleepyhead.” You feel warm lips on your cheek, and you groan, burying your face deeper in the pillow. You feel his hands caress your hair, gently kissing the soft spot on your neck.

“Go away.” You mutter.

Eddie laughs. “You invited me to stay, sweetheart. Come on, I promised you breakfast.”

You open one eye to look at him, his head is tilted at you, his dimples prominent with his smile. “Blueberry pancakes?”

“Gross but yes.” He leans down to kiss your lips. “Anything for you.”

You move onto your back and stretch, your shirt rising up your stomach. He grins at you, kissing your stomach and you laugh as his hair tickles you. He rests his chin on your belly, staring up at you, and you curl your fingers through his hair. “If you want us to get breakfast so bad, you probably should stop staring at me.”

“Nah, I can bask for a few minutes.” He grins, reaching his hands up to caress down your arms gently, entwining your fingers. You close your eyes, savoring his warmth, his gentle kisses on your navel. He slides up your form, catching your lips in a passionate kiss. He holds your waist, his hand glides down to your thigh and squeezes the meaty flesh tightly. You moan and giggle against his lips.

“What about breakfast?”

He pins your free hand on the side of your head, gently squeezing, his mouth going to your lips, and you sigh. “Mmm, we can still make brunch.”

Your eyes snap open, tears were in your eyes as you dreamt a memory. A memory that seemed so long ago now. It was dark, you slept longer than you intended, although you needed it. You sit up in your bed, your hair a wild mess, your body sore.

Pleasantly sore.

You had no idea what you were dealing with. You had no idea what he was…what he wasn’t. All he did was touch you, taste you, in places you were used to with him, but there was a different feeling behind it. Like he was feeding off you, feeding off your essence, your happiness, your euphoria. Your body shudders at the memory, you feel yourself clench, pleasant tingles dance in your belly. What he did; what you let him do…

You couldn’t take his teasing anymore while he fingered you against your front door. He was taunting you, every kiss of his cold lips, every thrust of his fingers. You had gotten sick of it, twirling yourself in his grasp, pushing your body against his, molding your mouth with his. You could feel him stiffen at the change, but he only groaned, his tongue entered your mouth with such urgency that it took you a minute to catch your breath. His cold hands tug painfully at your hair, but you welcomed it, you couldn’t stop touching him. In one swift movement, he has you pinned on the floor next to the fireplace. The flames reflected off his discolored eyes, making them more vibrant, more beautiful. He leaned back on his heels, staring down at you with that same sinister smile. He peeled off his shirt and jacket, his muscles so much more defined, his skin pale. He squeezes your thighs, roughly pulling off your jeans, leaving you half naked in your underwear. A growl rumbles in his throat; and your breath hitches as you stare at him.

He looked so sinister.

So evil.

But you couldn’t look away.

Not from him.

Not when he curls his fingers through the band of your underwear, pulling it between your sex, adding pressure to your clit with the fabric, and your back arches. He laughs, tearing the thick fabric away from you painfully, and you wince. His cold hands massage your thighs, pushing your legs wider apart.

“Look at that.” He says, his voice low, his finger strokes the wetness at your cunt; you were so wet. He brings his finger to his mouth, sucking it gently and groaning. “Fuck.”

He scoots back on his stomach, roughly pulling you towards his face by your thighs.

“Eddie…Eddie…wait…” You don’t finish. Instead, a loud moan escapes you as he sucks onto your clit, pulling it between his teeth, the sensation painful but oh so fucking…wonderful. “Oh god…”

You lean up on your elbows to watch him, and he spreads your legs wider, his tongue flicking out to that sensitive area. He fucking devoured you. He meets your eyes, a smile on his face as he licks you from your hole, taking your clit into his mouth again. Your head falls back against the rug on the floor, the heat from the fire causing you to sweat, your nipples peak through your shirt and it suddenly felt so much tighter on you. You awkwardly pull it off of you, and his hand automatically reaches up to tug your nipple and you gasp loudly. He continues his feast, his grip tightening on your thigh as his tongue moves faster. He groans again, pulling his face away with a grunt and he moves up you like a snake. He grips the side of your face, while the other hand dances with your clit. His mouth was so close to yours, and he grins.

“I wanna taste you.”

“You already are.” You breathe out.

He smiles wide, shaking his head, his eyes wide with lust, his cold fingers moving to your lips. “No, sweetheart. There’s something else I want to taste.”

Your heart rate picks up, and you stare at him confused. He grins wider, pressing his ear to your chest, and something clicks. The other night…he had bit you. Bit you hard enough to draw blood, but when you had told him to stop, he seemed scared that he had hurt you, his entire demeanor changed, but before you could do anything else he had disappeared. The words are locked in your throat, the questions, you don’t know why you couldn’t tell him no, you don’t know why you didn’t want to tell him no.

“I won’t hurt you.” He meets your eyes, and you swear you see a flash of the real Eddie for a second. “Just a little taste…right…here.” His fingers move down to your inner thigh, gripping you in his hands, and you tremble underneath him. “Please, baby. I’m craving you.”

Your chest heaves as you stare at him wide eyed. You still couldn’t form words, but you nod, your body shaking. His cold fingers rake down your skin, he runs his tongue a long your inner thigh and you whimper. He gently nips the skin and your back arches; you meet his eyes; and you almost scream. His discolored eyes turn a shade redder, his circles under his eyes darkening like webs and you see the points of his teeth.

“What…ohhhhahhhh…”

You moan, feeling his teeth bite into your flesh, but…it didn’t hurt. It was a bizarre sensation. It stung a little, you felt your cunt become wetter as his tongue laps up around the bite. He moans, and a hot growl escapes him.

Warmth from your blood drips down your thighs, and you swear you felt like you were floating. His tongue traces circles over your mound, before dragging his teeth along your clit. You didn’t feel the sharp points as he sucks the bundle in between his teeth. Your orgasm was approaching, the warmth from your blood, the coldness of his lips, was enough to send you spiraling into a puddle of pure ecstasy.

“Oh…oh my…f-fuck…” Your body jerks, feeling the peak of your orgasm hit your belly and he coos against you, his licks getting faster as your back arches, and you explode with a scream into his mouth. His hands hold down your thighs tightly, you felt a little more of your blood spill from his fingers as he continues to suck you dry, you desperately try to close your legs around his head, but he keeps them open. The orgasm was too much, but it was so damn good, you kept screaming in pleasure until he finally pulls his face up with a gasp. His lips and chin were covered in your blood, your juices, and his saliva. He licks up your navel, you watch as a trail of blood snakes up your stomach and cover your breast as he sucks your sensitive nipple. You groan, pulling his face up to yours, crashing your lips against his. Not caring about the blood, not caring about anything really. You could taste the iron from his mouth, the sweetness of you. So intoxicating. He cups the side of your face, pushing his body against yours as his tongue fucks your mouth and you devour every second of it. He pulls away with a lick to your lips, and your chest heaves as you stare up at him. He grins, like the Cheshire Cat ready to fool you with a riddle. His cool finger goes to your chin, gently wiping away something from your chin. He pulls his finger away, and you tremble seeing a little pool of your blood on his finger, he licks it clean and chuckles. His eyes still a shade of red; full of lust and a hungriness you’ve never seen before. His lips move to your ear, his breath cold as he says lowly, “Now and forever, you belong to me.”

He made you feel things you’ve never felt before. Even when he was…himself. You swore you could feel his love for you with every kiss of his lips, the way his cold hands touch your cheeks, but you’re probably just wishful thinking it. And at this point, you don’t believe it’s love, but hunger. You were trying to convince yourself that the sharp points of his incisors that bit into your flesh weren’t real, that you’re just imagining this whole thing. You didn’t know where he went when he disappeared. Before he left, he had taken a shower, and you heard him hum Moonlight Sonata. Something about the way he was humming it had sent shivers down your spine; it sounds so haunting, and it was almost like he knew it was a scaring you. His clothes were different when he came out, he was in all black. The contrast of his skin with the darkness made him look so much more beautiful you didn’t know how to look away. You felt an energetic pull towards him whenever you met his eyes; it brought you back to a time where you could just stare into those chocolate brown eyes and get lost in them.

It scared you that he said that you were his, now and forever.

But it also made you crave him and desperate for answers and what exactly he was. What exactly he meant by that. The following day at work was a drag, you spent most of the day organizing the records alphabetically. Your boss could tell something was off with you, but he didn’t ask questions, you knew he probably figured you were going through a weird grief thing and kept his distance.

“Hey.”

You gasp, almost toppling over, but Steve Harrington grabs you by your forearm. You held your hand to your chest as you gaze at him.

“Whoa, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare ya.” He says gently and you shake your head, trying your best to smile.

“It’s fine. Just been jumpy lately.” You chuckle. “I’m surprised to see you. You’re either slaving away at Family Video or holed up in your house.” You didn’t mean for it come off the way it did, hurt flashes in his eyes and you sigh. “I’m sorry. Are you doing okay?”

He shrugs, running his hands through his hair. “Hanging in there, I guess. I saw Dustin the other day; he said he saw you.”

You nod, filing through the records to place Pat Benatar in her respected spot. “Yeah, I try to see him as much as I can.”

You could feel his eyes burning into you. He used to be your best friend, someone that was like a brother to you, now he felt like a stranger. You hated that feeling, hated how alone you felt, and how he probably felt that way too. “Are you okay?” He asks you gently.

You smirk, looking up at him. “No.”

“I’m sorry…I know I should be there for you more…it’s just…there’s things…”

You raise your eyebrow at him. “What things?”

He shakes his head, sighing. “Nothing.”

You almost laugh. “I swear you and Dustin are notorious for keeping things from me. I didn’t find out you guys were protecting Eddie from the cops until a month after his death. I didn’t know he literally died in Dustin’s arms until Wayne told me about the necklace and even though he died in his arms, there was still no body…”

“The earthquake happened…Dustin was hurt…”

“Yeah. I get that.” You snap. “What I don’t get is why he or you or anyone else couldn’t have told me any of this. Why he didn’t come to me when the murders happened, why he went and got himself killed for a town that still hates him.”

That Eddie is still dead. Your heart aches at the thought, because you had him back in some sense, but not all of him. He wasn’t whole. He was just an evil entity inside a body that looked like the man you were in love with.

Steve sighs, gently taking your hand, you try to pull away, but he tightens his hold. “Listen to me. He didn’t want you involved. The way Jason was acting after the murders, he was afraid he was gonna find you and hurt you. He was willing to hurt 14 year olds. He couldn’t stomach the thought of something happening to you.”

“He should’ve just told me.” Tears fill your eyes, and you rip your hand away. “I would’ve gladly given my life to save him. I still would.”

Steve groans. “That’s why he didn’t tell you! Because he knew exactly what you would do.”

“Well, too bad it wasn’t me. He’s dead. And I’m here, living, breathing, while he’s rotting somewhere.”

Steve flinches, and he sighs. “He really loved you.”

“If he loved me, he wouldn’t have risked his life for this shitty town.”

You turn away from him but freeze when you overhear the reporter on the small television speakers:

…unfortunately there is not enough information to label this as an animal attack or an attack by a human. What we do know is that two bodies were found by Lover’s Lake, in brutal condition. Crime scene investigators are doing a thorough search of the area as well as getting updates from the medical examiner. No names have been released on the identities of the two bodies…

Steve was stiff behind you as he stares at the screen. You felt the hair raise on the back of your neck and bile rise in your throat. Was he capable of this? Was he capable of murder?

Not back then, but now you had no idea what he was capable of.

Steve seemed to be shaken up as well as you turn to look at him. “Steve?”

“I…I have to go.” He turns away from you but stops at the door as you stare at his back, you watch his shoulders slump. “Give me a call in a few days. Please? I want to catch up.”

You nod but you couldn’t shake the feeling something was scaring. “Steve…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s good. It’s all fucking good.” He leaves you standing there; you’re not entirely sure what just happened. What spooked him, why he seemed so cryptic. Either way, you planned on finding out, even if the information you got was from an undead version of Eddie.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson fem!reader #dark romance #Spotify

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her-power · 2 months

Text

The Princess Bride (Farmhand!Eddie Munson x Princess!Reader)

***********

Warnings: Mentions of Blood (Nothing Graphic), Kissing, One Subtle Allusion to Smut, Childhood Best Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn...I think that's it?

Summary: You've been best friends with the stable boy since childhood, but when a suitor comes from across the sea to ask for your hand in marriage, you're forced to finally confront your feelings for him.

A/N: I hope y'all like this! I've had this in my drafts for literally over a year, but people seemed interested when I asked, so here it is! Please, Please, Please leave a comment! It will keep me writing!

Six Years Old

Your earliest memory of him was from the stream.

His head was a mess of wild brown curls, so thick they nearly covered his eyes, and his pants had been rolled up past his knees. You'd been sitting in the gardens, ignoring your tutor's endless lesson on etiquette, when you spotted him through the clearing. He wobbled as he waded further, jumping forward suddenly as he tried to catch a fish with his hands. You had to hide your giggle with a polite cough, lest you be scolded.

The boy heard you, though. He stared at you as you obediently walked along the bank behind a man with a large nose.

You made eye contact with him, and as soon as he noticed he'd won your attention, it became a game. Suddenly, he was pulling funny faces and splashing around the creek like a giant. He held your gaze all the while, flashing you a two-front-toothless grin when you finally fell into a fit of giggles.

You'd had to recite forty lines that afternoon because of him, but it was well worth it to share a laugh as he mucked about in the water.

***********

Six Years Old

The next time you saw the boy, you'd fallen ill with fever. It'd been a few months since the stream, and you almost didn't recognize him as he plopped a bundle of healing herbs down on your bedside table.

"You don't look like a Princess." He crossed his arms before him as he eyed you suspiciously. "You're awfully pale…And you're not even wearing a crown or a dress or anything."

"I'm sick, you knob." You frowned, "No one wears a crown to bed."

He hummed, sticking up his nose. "I thought Princesses had to be grown-ups."

"I'll be queen when I'm a grown up." You announced, bossily. "And you'll have to do everything I say, or I'll send you to jail."

He scoffed, "Not if I'm the King! The Queen has to do what the King says!"

You rolled your eyes, "Well, you can't be King."

"Yes, I can! Haven't you ever read King Arthur?" He pointed, brows raising. "I just have to find an enchanted sword and pull it out of a stone. Then I'll be the King, and I'll send you to jail."

Your cheeks went pink as you argued, "King Arthur isn't even real!"

"Yes, he is! And I'll be just like him! King Edward the First!" You giggled, and the boy flipped around from where he'd started strutting around the room, proudly. "What?"

"Edward is a funny name."

As wildly offended as the boy was by this comment, he had to hide the smile that crept to his face at the sound of your hoarse laughter. "It is not!"

"Yes, it is! Who's ever heard of a King called Ed? King Eddie!" You held your stomach, falling into another fit of giggles.

He turned from you indignantly, "Fine! Stay here all alone with your smelly herbs, then! I don't need any silly ole' princess!"

"No!" You croaked, sitting up in bed. "Don't go. It's so boring up here. I can hardly stand it."

He sighed, putting a hand on his hip, and thought for a moment. "Only because you'll have me beheaded if I don't."

***********

Ten Years Old

"Oh goodness…You've gotten mud on your dress!"

Your mother fussed over the little blue dress you were wearing, kneeling beside you to get a better look at the damage. Splotches of brown had been smeared over your front. Even your hair had a few streaks of dirt.

"I got in a mud fight with Eddie." You informed her, as if the mess was perfectly justified by this.

She chuckled, "I see. It looks like he may have won this time, hm?" She gave your cheek a gentle pinch, making your nose scrunch.

"No, he didn't!" You turned, pointing at your friend. He dragged his feet behind you, looking defeated.

Your mother burst into pretty laughter at the sight of him, resting a hand on her stomach. "Oh lamb…come here."

The poor boy was absolutely caked in dirt. Not an inch of him was left unscathed. His wild curls were sopping with heavy mud, and you couldn't even see the embarrassed flush on his pouty face. He looked like he'd rolled around in the pig pen.

The queen tutted affectionately, smirking. "Oh what am I going to do with you two?"

***********

Thirteen Years Old

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Tears welled in your eyes as you sat in the windowsill in your room, watching Eddie as he walked quietly by himself in the distant fields, below. "I don't like seeing him cry."

"He'll be alright, love." Your mother cooed, taking a seat beside you. "I know it's hard to see him in pain, but the poor dear's lost his mother. It might take some time for him to feel like himself again."

You sniffled, holding your knees. The words trembled when you spoke again. "He'll be sent away, won't he? He won't be allowed to stay at the palace anymore."

The Queen frowned, stroking your hair. "Why do you say that?"

"His mother worked in the laundry. That's why he's lived here so long. Without her, he-" You trailed off, voice cracking as you gave a soft sob.

"Oh, silly girl." She chuckled softly as she dried your tears. "You think we'd throw Eddie out all on his own?"

Your brow furrowed, confused.

"Eddie's a strong boy, sweetheart. He works very hard in the stables and takes good care of the horses. He holds his own…and even if he didn't, he's family. We'd never send him away."

Your whole demeanor relaxed, "You really mean it?"

Your mother smiled, "Of course."

Still, your eyes didn't leave him. You sighed, "He's so sad...He's sad and I don't know how to fix it.

"I wish we could fix it for him, darling, but that's not how these things work. You can't take away that hurt. You just have to let him feel it." She straightened her dress as she stood, giving your hand a loving squeeze. "But that doesn't mean he couldn't use a friend."

***********

Fourteen Years Old

"I didn't know Princesses were allowed to climb trees." Eddie's grin was stained sweet and red, his legs crossed over a branch lazily as you plucked another strawberry from the bushel you'd collected that morning.

Your etiquette teachers would be appalled if they could see you now, wearing little more than a chemise in the summer heat as you straddled a thick tree branch. Your feet were bare and dirty where they hung in the breeze. You smirked, "They are if nobody sees them."

Eddie laughed, and it was such a clear sweet sound that you wished you could keep it tucked inside a locket. You sighed, longing to freeze time and keep things just the way they were forever.

You relaxed against a branch, "I've got my whole life to do what royalty is supposed to do. I've got to do fun things while I can still get away with it."

Eddie chuckled, "Maybe I'm a bad influence on you, after all.

You frowned, "Did someone say that to you?"

He shrugged, unbothered. "The maids whisper it. They say a young lady shouldn't be left alone with a young man." He put on his best 'prim' voice, making you giggle. "I'm a threat to your innocence!"

You held your stomach, laughing. "A threat to my innocence? That's horrible!"

He grinned, "You're telling me!"

The breeze rustled the leaves in the tree as you lounged, breathing in the sweet summer air.

Eddie had strawberry juice on his lips. For the first time, the tiny, ant-sized thought of kissing it away crawled into your brain. You squished the ant.

A bad influence, indeed.

***********

Fifteen Years Old

"Tag!"

Eddie sprang up from the corner of the barn, sprinting after you as you ran off into the fields.

You lost him quickly, cutting down and into the gardens. The morning dew was cool as the grass tickled your bare feet, and you nearly slipped as you ran over the stone path. A gloved hand grabbed your elbow to steady you. You turned to see a member of the palace guard; his brows furrowed. "There you are, Princess. Your Mother-"

It all happened so quickly. Eddie ran through the bushes, a playful grin tugging his lips, and grabbed you from behind, "I've got you!" He yelled, drowning out your giggles.

Before you realized what was happening, the guard ripped you from his hold, tossing you aside. Eddie was thrown onto the stone path, his temple hitting hard against the tile. Distantly, he heard you shriek. His vision was fuzzy and starry when he felt the weight of the guard pin him down, a drawn sword shoved against his throat. "You shall not touch her!”

"Stop! Stop it!' You grabbed the guard's arm, But he threw you back down. Eddie choked your name.

"Stay back!" The guard barked at you, pressing harder against the blade. Eddie could feel blood trickling from his head. He was trembling, eyes closed tight. Still, the guard yelled in his face, “Who are you? Hands by your side!”

"He's my friend!" You screamed hoarsely.

"Get off of him this instant!"

You'd never been so happy to hear your mother's voice in your life. The guard dropped his sword at the sight of her rushing towards him. Immediately, his face drained pale as a ghost. "Y-Your majesty!"

"Get off of the boy, for god sakes, he's a child! Get off!" The man clambered off of Eddie as your mother knelt beside him, fussing over him dotingly, "Oh sweetheart, your head…You're shaking like a leaf…"

He blinked hard, trying to clear his vision. The queen turned to the guard as you pitifully crawled over to your friend, pushing his curls back off of his forehead. "I'm sorry I'm sorry-"

The guard searched for an explanation, "Your majesty, I thought the boy was-"

"I know what you thought!" She snapped, sternly. She was well aware of the whispers surrounding yours and Eddie's friendship. Your mother's lips were pursed, cheeks red. You'd never seen her like that before in your life. "It gave you no right to hold a weapon to that child's throat!"

"Your highness, I-"

Your mother ignored the guard, turning back to you. "Help me get him inside." You nodded obediently as she squeezed Eddie's shaking hand, "I'll send for a doctor to check your head, darling."

Eddie nodded, dizzily.

You sat with him later that night when the doctor had gone and his head had cleared. The mark on his forehead would scar, no doubt, but it had been well tended, and any concussion he suffered was minor. This knowledge, of course, did nothing to soothe his nasty headache.

"You're not a very good sport, you know." He groaned as you took his hand, smirking. "Siccing the palace guards on me just because I tagged you?" He tutted, "What a sore loser."

***********

Sixteen Years Old

"You have to tell!" You ran after Eddie as he hauled a sack of oats through the gardens to the stable.

He ignored you, holding his nose high. "No, I don't. I don't have to tell you everything just because you're a princess."

You crossed your arms, "You have to tell me because I'm your best friend, you knob. Best friends don't keep secrets!"

"Sure, they do. You mean to tell me you've never kept a secret from me?"

You groaned, "That's different! You have to tell me if you fancy someone!"

Eddie sighed, turning to face you, and dropped the sack of oats. "Why do you want to know so bad?"

You blushed, stammering. "I…I want to help you confess your love!"

Eddie laughed, "What a lie! You just want to tease me!"

"Oh, Come on!" You pouted, putting your hands on his shoulders. If you tell me who it is, I'll tell you a secret, too."

"Tempting." He sighed, picking up the sack again and throwing it over his shoulder. "But no."

***********

Eighteen Years Old

"You've got to keep it down…"

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as he guided you towards the stables. "Why?"

He laughed, "If I told you why, then it wouldn't be a surprise."

He smirked when you groaned, reaching for the latch on the barn door. “You know I don't like surpris-..."

You went silent as he led you inside slowly, revealing a soft colored mare, and below her, her newborn foal.

"Oh!" You gasped, a smile creeping to your face. You stepped forward, wanting to approach the baby, but Eddie took your arm, gently pulling you back.

"You've got to be careful...the mare's protective of her. I nearly got kicked in the teeth this morning." He chuckled, enjoying the amazement in your eyes as you watched the mother and baby interact.

"She's beautiful." You mumbled, grinning.

Eddie couldn't help but smile, "She's strong too..." He paused, breath fanning your neck as he spoke just loud enough for you to hear. "She'll make a good riding horse, one day."

You met his brown eyed gaze, biting your lip shyly as he nudged your arm with his elbow.

You could feel him admiring you.

You liked it.

***********

Nineteen Years Old

"Oh, Eddie. He was horrible…You wouldn't have been able to stop laughing!"

Eddie clutched his stomach, laying back against the grass as he toyed with a wildflower. "That's because it's funny!"

Your fingers fumbled with the ends of your hair, untangling the intricate hairstyle it's been tied up in. "It's not so funny when it's you!"

Eddie grinned, looking starry eyed, "It really just fell off of his head?"

"During dinner!" You exclaimed. Eddie fell into another fit of laughter. "Right onto his plate in front of everyone!"

Your friend sighed, wiping his happy tears as he sat up to gather a handful of clovers. "I can't believe he wore an honest to God wig. The poor lamb."

You laughed at his faux sympathy, watching his hands as he wove together stems.

He looked so different from the little boy you'd befriended as a child. His wild curls had grown just past his shoulders now, his bangs often covering the scar on his temple. His arms and back were beautiful, muscles sloping gently beneath his skin, and while he was a hint more bronze than he had been as a boy, his freckles remained. His nose and his dimples had never changed in the slightest, and those big brown eyes reassured you that no matter how much Eddie had grown up, he'd always be that silly little boy, deep down. He'd always be your Eddie.

"But what's the verdict?" He chuckled, "You never said. Is he the one?"

You groaned, "You're mocking my pain."

"I am not!" He fought a smirk. "I didn't want to assume. Maybe he was a wonderful conversationalist."

You giggled, yawning. "I wouldn't know. I didn't catch a word he said after his hair went into his soup.

Eddie gave you a fond smile, laying on his elbow beside you, "Here you are, princess. A crown."

Your heart felt oddly achey as he draped a handmade crown of wildflowers over your head. You smiled, affection in your eyes.

Your throat was tight when you spoke, "You're better than any prince, Eddie Munson."

His cheeks flushed faintly. "Well, I don't know about that…" He tapped your nose playfully. "Most princes don't smell like a barn."

***********

Twenty Years Old

"Eddie, darling!" Your mother had called to him as he cut through the gardens back to the stable. His brows raised when he turned to find the Queen accompanied by you and the King. A man Eddie had never seen before held your arm, an unreadable expression on your face. Eddie bristled.

"Your Majesties." Eddie nodded his head politely as the group approached, his muscles stiff with wariness.

Your father gave a proud smile, gesturing to the stranger on your arm. "Son, let us Introduce you to Prince Carver the Fourth: Heir to the Throne of Hawkins."

"An honor to meet you, Your Highness." Again, Eddie bowed his head. He'd never seen someone that looked so stiff. The two of you would have fun joking about it, later.

Prince Carver was older than you, and by the looks of him, he'd never been outside a day in his life. Every last one of his blonde hairs had been tediously placed, as if he'd been sculpted out of clay, and his boots were perfectly polished black leather. The blonde eyed Eddie with disdain, crinkling his nose at the sight of his work clothes. "Yes, I'm sure."

Eddie fought an eye roll. Another suitor, he assumed. The Royals were only being polite by offering him a tour, seeing as he'd travelled so far only to be rejected.

The Queen stepped towards him, glancing at the prince. "Eddie has become a very dear friend to our daughter, Prince Carver. Perhaps he would make a nice addition to your staff. He's served us so well in our stables."

Confusion was visible in Eddie's face. An addition to his staff? What was going on? He looked to you for help, but your eyes were cast down into the grass.

Prince Carver cleared his throat, "Unfortunately, we aren't lacking any farmhands at the moment, but you need not worry about the princess, your highness. She'll find much companionship in Hawkins, once we are wed."

Eddie felt his blood go cold. Absolutely frigid.

Once we are wed. Once we are wed. Once we are wed.

His mouth opened to say something, but he couldn't find a single word. He was desperate to look you in the eyes, but his gaze was only met by a small shimmer on your left hand. An engagement ring.

"Please excuse me, Your Majesties."

****

Eddie hadn't cried like this since his mother died.

He hadn't felt the blow of such terrible loss since he'd been orphaned.

He sat alone in the barn on a stool, tears rolling down his cheeks as he gently stroked his fingers through the mane of the foal he'd surprised you with two years ago.

It was a pretty horse…full grown now and patterned with soft brown spots across her back. You'd named her "Sweetheart" after hearing Eddie call her that.

Come're, Sweetheart.

Here you go, Sweetheart.

Good job, Sweetheart…That's it.

Pain shot through his chest at the realization that the horse would probably get to go with you to your new home.

But not Eddie. Eddie would be left behind.

He clenched his jaw, eyes burning as he buried his fists in his curls and tugged. He was angry. He couldn't help but feel angry. It wasn't fair. His whole heart was being shipped off to God knows where, and there wasn't a word he could say about it.

It wasn't your fault. You were a princess. Your hand in marriage was a pawn in a game of political chess. It had been since the beginning. Both of you knew this. You always had. So why weren't the two of you happy that this inevitable union was one that would lead the country to thrive?

Eddie took a deep breath, relaxing his hands from his hair and rubbing tears from his face.

You'd daydreamed with Eddie before. Lots of times. It was always the same thing.

I wish we could just run off and live in the woods, Eds. Just you and me. We could build a little cottage beside a stream. That way, we could swim in the summertime. You could finally teach me to fish, too.

Is that what he'd been expecting? Had he hoped, deep down, that he'd somehow end up in that cottage after all, spending summer days with you by a stream?

Maybe. Or maybe he'd just wanted you.

He'd dreamt up hundreds of different futures for himself. There were countless paths he'd wandered down curiously in his head, over the years. Some were outlandish and fantastic…some were more modest. As much as they varied from day to day, he was realizing now that his hopes for the future had always held something in common.

He'd always had you.

****

The next week seemed never ending.

Eddie didn't see you once. You were avoiding him. That much was obvious.

Before the proposal, you made a habit of visiting Sweetheart at least once every day. You liked to brush her as you talked with Eddie, twisting braids into her coarse hair. She was spoiled rotten, no doubt, but that didn't leave the horse feeling any less deprived of attention with the sudden loss of your quality time. She'd gotten fussy over the week, whinnying and pacing in her stall. She'd even started kicking again, when she was feeling particularly agitated.

Still, you made no appearance at the stable. Eddie was surprised, however, to look over the gate one evening to find Prince Carver walking swiftly through the grass.

"Your highness." Eddie nodded, spotting the green apple in the man's hand. "Have you come to feed the horses?"

"Certainly not." Carver scoffed, "I've come on behalf of the Princess. I find it inappropriate for her, as a lady, to be spending time in the stables.

I've reassured her that I'll take it upon myself to fulfill any required visits with Sugarplum."

Eddie frowned, " Forgive me Your Highness, but I think you might be thinking of Sweetheart."

The man scoffed, slapping the apple down in Eddie's hand before storming off.

"Whatever the damned thing's name is."

Eddie swallowed hard, calling after him. "Would you like me to show you how to feed her, Prince Carver?"

The man laughed cruelly, "Heavens no. That's your job, is it not?"

**********

"What on earth are you-! Edward Munson!" You gasped, immediately dipping over the stone ledge of your window to reach for him. He laughed, flashing you a boyish grin as he took your hand, pulling himself up and over the sill.

Christ, you'll crack your skull one day!" You muttered, the both of you giving way to the effort and falling to the floor with a thump.

"For the present my skull remains intact." He reassured, giving a faux bow of his head.

You snorted, plucking dead leaves and briars from his thick dark curls. "What on earth put it in your head to climb all the way-"

Eddie caught your hand, his eyes landing on your engagement ring. His thumb brushed over its stone as your heart sank into your belly.

"Oh."

Eddie studied the ring for a moment, taking in its details. There was a long silence. Finally, you spoke.

"It's a dreadfully heavy thing." You pulled it off, placing it on your bedside table. "It catches on my gown, anyways."

A knowing smile crept to Eddie's lips. He sat in the silence for a moment before reaching into his pocket.

A small wooden ring was produced, painted delicately along the band with tiny white flowers. He slipped it onto your marriage finger. "How's that one?"

You were breathless. "It..it's..."

It was perfect. It was the most beautiful ring you'd ever seen, though you couldn't find the words to say so.

Eddie's thumb brushes over the flowers, "I carved that for you when we were sixteen."

Tears welled in your eyes.

"I had it in my mind to propose to you then. The gardener stopped me when he discovered my plan." He gave a sad chuckle. A comfortable silence hung between you. Eddie took your hand, humming. "Would you have said yes?"

"Eddie..." A tear rolled down your cheek, only to be brushed away carefully by his ever-gentle hand. You gave a sad laugh, your thumb stroking over his wrist. "You're not being fair."

"Maybe not." He whispered, "But any man should be damned if he saw you and didn't want to keep you."

"It's cruel." Your voice wavered with emotion. "You know I've loved you since we were children...nothing can be done about it, Eddie."

"Nothing can be done about it?" Eddie gave a humorless laugh, "You're going to be Queen. Everything can be done about it."

"What would you have me do?" Your brow furrowed. "Tell my father to end our alliance with Hawkins?"

"Yes! Hawkins only seeks to use us for our resources. Forest Hills is better off without their partnership."

You swallowed thickly. The cicadas sang their response from the Glenside below. Again, Eddie wiped your tears.

"Love is not something to be kept only for common folk. Your father will understand that. So will your kingdom."

Something in you crumbled under his gaze. You drew closer, letting him envelope you in his arms. He held you for a long time, stroking your back, sweetly.

"I spoke to your mother." He cooed, pressing a soft kiss to your hair. Your head tilted back; eyes wide as you stared up at him.

"Did you?"

"Yes." His eyes were so warm and brown. You had admired them many times before this, but never quite so closely before. "I knew I was to ask for your hand...I couldn’t very well ask for your father's blessing, so I felt your mother's would be just as valuable. To us, at least."

You smiled, your forehead resting against his. "What did she say?"

Eddie chuckled at the memory, "She pinched my cheek red. I wish you could've seen it. She cried and held my hand...told me she'd always known I would ask her one day."

You gave a watery laugh, your fingers lacing tightly with his.

"She said she didn’t know if it was possible for me to make you mine, but that nothing would make her happier."

There was a long silence. Eddie cradled your face, "Do you feel the same, little Princess?" Your pretty eyes fluttered at his whisper. "Do you love me the way I love you?"

"How could you even ask?"

Eddie chuckled, "Because I've done nothing but profess my feelings for you tonight, and now I'd like to hear you do the same."

You chuckled, your smile fading with thought.

"I knew...I knew I loved you about five summers ago." Eddie smiled fondly, his cheeks going pink. "We practically lived outside then...the world seemed so bright and warm and I didn't realize then that it was all because of you." You reached up, carding her fingers through his messy hair. "The sun turned your curls golden on the edges-"

Before you could finish your sentence, he was kissing you. He was soft and warm and strong, holding you close as you melted for one another. Eddie laughed, breathless, when you parted. "I'm afraid I win, then. I've loved you far longer than that."

You laughed brightly as he kissed you again, working his way down your jaw to the column of your throat. "When?" You breathed, whimpering as he nipped at the crook of your neck.

"It's hard to say." He moaned softly as you coaxed him back up to your lips, your hands lacing in his hair. "All I know is that I've never loved you more than I do right now."

Another tear rolled down his love's cheek. He kissed it away.

"But why these tears, now? Am I really that terrible?"

You gave a watery laugh. "No. Not at all I...I just..." You gave a little sob. "I want to marry you. I want to be your bride and keep you always, but I can't-"

"Marry me, then. Right now."

You frowned, tucking a strand of his curls behind his ear. "What?"

Eddie thumbed your ring as he caught your hand. "Do we not have a ring? A gown?" He swallows thickly, eyes darting between your night clothes and the mattress beside you. "A marriage bed?"

Slowly, You stood, guiding Eddie to stand before you. "We...we have to make a vow"

"What kind of vow? I've never been to a wedding."

You stared up at him, eyes brimming with love. "S-Something about.... For richer and for poorer. Through sickness and in health. From each sun to each moon."

"May I write my own?"

A tear rolled down your cheek as you nodded.

He looked down at your hands, so soft and perfect in his rough ones. "I wish I could tell you that as my wife, you will want for nothing. I wish I could make you flowery promises about how you won't have a care in the world...but since I can't make you those promises, I'll make you the ones I can."

He knelt before you, gazing up into your eyes.

"I promise to you that no matter how hot the summer's day, I'll always climb to the highest branches to find you perfect, sun-spotted apples."

You giggled, a grin splitting your cheeks.

"I promise to let you spoil your horse as badly as you wish. Never again will I deprive her of a single sugar cube."

Another giggle. Eddie kissed your knuckles.

"I promise to kiss you...often and abundantly...until you can't bear to kiss me even once more."

Eddie grinned at your blush.

"I can't build you castles, but I promise you a home. I promise you food to eat and sturdy walls to keep you warm. I promise you children to nurse and adore."

Eddie paused, heart fluttering.

"And I promise you love. The same love for you that I've held long since before I even knew what I was feeling."

His voice wavers.

"I promise that at the end of our lives, I will still feel it."

Eddie clasped your hand with his, "So, Princess. If you'll have me...then with this ring, I thee wed."

You repeated his words, falling to your knees to embrace him. Eddie caught you in his arms as he stood, peppering kisses to your nose, then your cheeks, and finally, your lips.

His thumb brushed your new ring, gently. "I can't tell you how it feels to see you wearing it." He gave a watery laugh. "It's been sitting on my nightstand for four years now."

"I wish I could wear it always..."

"Why can't you?" He pulled back to meet your eyes.

Your expression sunk, "I'm afraid I'm still scheduled to be wed tomorrow morning."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous." He hummed. "You think I'd allow another man to marry my wife?"

"Eddie..." He scooped you up, laying you gently upon your mattress before sitting beside you. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid tomorrow."

He chuckled as you combed through his curls with your fingers. "When have I ever been known to do stupid things?"

"I mean it. You remember what happened the last time someone thought you were a threat to my innocence. It would kill me to see you hurt." Your fingertips grazed the scar on his temple, stiffening at the memory of his head hitting stone.

There was a long silence as Eddie gazed at the ring. He kissed each of your fingertips slowly. "Do you trust me?"

"More than anything."

Eddie smiled at this, holding your hand to his heart, "Then don't worry."

You gave a hesitant smile. Eddie cradled your body against his, gently combing through your hair.

"We must leave tonight." He whispered. "Disappear into the woods. If we rode as far as we could on Sweetheart, it would be nearly impossible for them to find us by the time morning came. It would be difficult, but we'd be free."

Immediately, you tensed. "Eddie, no. He could have you killed if they found us."

"Then you'd better hold me awfully tight for as long as you can, my love."

**********

You woke to the sound of water rushing beside you. You laid upon a bed of moss; a thick blanket tucked around you. You felt shade cover you as a figure knelt as your side. A hand on your head, pushing your bangs back lovingly. You stretched and groaned in response, not wishing to leave behind the warmth of your blanket, and kept your eyes closed.

"What a shame." Eddie cooed with a smirk, seeing right through your fib. "My little wife is simply too weak and exhausted to carry on. I suppose I must leave her behind..."

Your eyes flew open, taking his bait. "Leave her behind!?"

Eddie laughed brightly, pulling you into a smiley kiss. You were beginning to think nothing in the world felt better than kissing him.

Eddie's nose nudged against yours as he hummed passively. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

Your jaw dropped, "I do not, Eddie Munson."

He giggled, "You most certainly do, Mrs. Munson. We had a whole conversation whilst you slept."

"What about, pray tell?"

Eddie laid on his back beside her, letting her rest against his chest as he tucked his arms behind his head. "How handsome I am."

You smirked, rolling your eyes as you kissed him. The sun was warm and the cool earth beneath you felt like silk beneath your skin.

"I feel like I could do anything I wanted out here. No one could stop me."

"You could." Eddie smirked with another peck. "But I'm afraid we must keep traveling, my love. We still have a long way to go."

"How far are we going?

He tucked hair behind your ear, "So far they'll never find you. So far that it will be impossible for them to take you from me."

You nodded, curling in against him.

"And once we have finally traveled far enough..." Eddie grinned down at you. "I shall build you our cottage by the stream."

***********

@ali-r3n

@stephanie-nicks76

@penandpage

@the-local-pendeja

@blindbisexualgoose

@eddiemunsonsgf2

@panickedpanko

#tbr #Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson x princess #eddie munson x female reader

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her-power · 2 months

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Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

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her-power · 2 months

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A post-s4 Eddie who has physically healed from what happened in ‘86. Who asks you to help him cut his hair. Because he wants a new start.

That night finds you both in the bath together. Helping each other get clean. You take great care with washing his hair. Something that has always been such a big part of him. Taking his face in your hands so you could gently wipe any excess water from his face. Placing the softest kiss to the scar that runs along the left side. Just one reminder of what he went through. If a few tears were shed, neither of you spoke a word.

“Not a whole lot” was his response when asked how much he wanted cut. You loved his hair. But, if he wanted it trimmed or buzzed, you’d do it for him. Whatever he needed. Whatever would help.

The only noise that filled the bathroom was the occasional snip of the scissors as you took a few inches off and trimmed the bangs a bit. Eddie sat with his eyes closed. Breathing in deeply.

“All done, handsome.”

Eddie turned his head to look in the mirror. Fingers running through his still damp hair now a bit shorter. His head moved from side to side.

“What do we think?”

Turning back to face you, he wrapped his arms around your middle. Squeezing tight as he pressed his face into you. Breathing you in.

And so quietly you almost didn’t hear it, “thank you.”

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her-power · 2 months

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Fixation on the Darkness (Part One: Dark Romance! e.m. x fem! reader)

‼️❌🛑18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🛑❌‼️

Summary: This takes place in 1987, a year after the events of S4. Hawkins is in complete disrepair. The reader is grieving the death of her old love Eddie Munson. She is convinced he’s still alive because there was no body, but she knows she is just fooling herself. Until the dreams. Is he is the same? Has he changed? She finds out sooner than she thinks, and realizes that someone she once loved is lurking in the shadows, covered in darkness, and not the same man she remembers. Is she the only one that can make him remember who he truly is? Reader learns about the Upside Down later on in the story.

Word Count: 4.4k

Author’s Warning: This is going to be a multiple parts series, followed by another series that will be the sequel. This is completely different from my last two series. It’s dark, it’s eerie, it’s heart wrenching, it’s not going to be your typical Eddie. This is a dark romance, but do not, for the love of everything, do not follow in the footsteps of the reader. Manipulative relationships and emotional abuse is not okay. This is fiction/fantasy but it talks about REAL life issues.

The rush of cold air bites your skin as it startles you awake. You had kicked your blanket off in the middle of the night; your bare legs are covered in gooseflesh. The cold air was coming from your open window, but you don’t remember opening it. Why would you? It was the middle of winter after all. You throw your legs over the side of the bed, stumbling through the pitch blackness of your bedroom to close the window. You let out a grunt as you slam it shut, it creaks against the pane, and you lock it. A slight chill is still in the air, and what feels like icy hands glides up your spine and cups the back of your neck. A sharp breath escapes you, yet you remain frozen. Someone was here.

“That’s it…”

You gasp at the sound of the voice, the voice you have spent a year making sure you remembered over and over, but something was different. He was different.

“Eddie?” You’re breathless, cool lips touch your neck.

A low growl is heard, rumbling deep from his chest. A pleasant ache happens between your legs at the sound. “Mmm…I can smell you.” His voice, but not his voice…deeper, breathier…beautiful.

You feel his teeth graze your ear lobe, moving towards your neck and you hiss. A stinging pain: he bit you. You shudder when you feel his tongue move over the same spot, followed by his lips.

You moan.

Cold hands move under your shirt, your nipples hardening instantly once you feel the other cooling sensation from the metal of his rings. “Eddie.” You whisper again; his hands squeeze your breasts, causing a wetness to pool between your legs.

You feel his lips against your ear, even his his breath is cold. “Time to wake up, doll.”

“I don’t want to.” You whimper, your head falls back against his shoulder as he tugs your nipple, his other hand slides down your stomach, into your underwear. His fingers were cold, but you welcomed it as he palms your clit, moving the lips with his fingers.

You feel him smile against your throat, his teeth grazes that same spot again, you moan again. You so desperately wanted to turn to look at him, to see him, to convince yourself that this wasn’t just a dream, and he was alive, but he kept a strong hold on you, keeping your back to his chest.

“Tsk tsk, my love. Still stubborn.” A low rumble in his chest again and you cry out, he slips two fingers inside you, but he doesn’t move them. “You will wake up. I need you thinking of me when the hot water from the shower hits your skin, when you’re driving into town, I need you thinking—” he growls, shoving his fingers deeper and you sob. “I need you thinking about what I’m going to do to you next, about where I want to kiss you, taste you. I need you thinking of me when you’re alone in your bed, touching yourself, moaning my name.” He licks your throat, and you stifle a louder moan. “That’s a good girl...” He slides his fingers out of you, and you want to cry, you don’t feel him behind you anymore. “Don’t be sad, my love. I’ve only just begun.”

Your eyes snap open and the sunlight immediately blinds you. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying so desperately to wish yourself back into the dream. This is the one of many dreams you’ve been being tortured with these last few weeks, but in the ones before this, you can only feel his presence, nothing else.

But this felt so real. There was still a dull ache between your legs, your nipples were peaking through your shirt. You swore the ghost of his fingers still lingered inside you as you laid there. You close your eyes, moving your hand gently down over your underwear, you were soaking. A soft sigh escapes your lips as you slide your fingers into your underwear, gently dancing over your clit. You thought about him; the last time you were with him. Before everything. Before the murders, before the earthquake, before you knew he wasn’t ever coming back. He took his time with you, he savored every moment, every taste of you. His tongue was like magic, every lick, every suck, it felt as if you’re body was being lifted into the cosmos, and you didn’t want to come back down. He would whisper how much he loved you, how he couldn’t wait to be out of this shitty town, and to take on the world together. When he kissed your lips, it took your breath away, he was so sweet, so kind…

Your body jerks as you orgasm, your thighs clench around your hand as you whimper, continuing to rub yourself until you couldn’t take it anymore. You sigh loudly, the euphoric feeling still lingers, and then it’s gone.

You lay there, your eyes still closed and you silently cry. The love of your life was gone forever, but for some reason…you felt in the depths of your soul that he wasn’t. That tether was still there, and it held on.

Even with the wool from your socks and your thick black boots, the cold still bit at your toes as you walk through the cemetery. You bury your face in your scarf, the breeze was making it worse. The snow made the cemetery seem more silent than normal, no sounds of life or a skitter of a rodent. You had been coming here every week for the last six months since they finally put headstone in. Most of the cemetery was destroyed in the earthquake, the yellow tape still visible around the cracks in the Earth from where you stood. You approach the row of headstones where his laid and see a capped head bobbing as it knelt in front of the stone. You walk closer, seeing that it was Wayne, scrubbing vigorously at the stone. You jog towards him.

“Again?” You say, your anger seething in your veins as you see the words murderer spray painted over his name. It had happened a lot during the summer; even though his name was cleared at the end of ‘86 because of Jason’s disappearance and lack of evidence, the town still hated him.

Wayne looks up you, the same anger in his eyes. “Damn kids, they ran off when I saw them. Couldn’t have been younger than seventeen.”

“Assholes.” You mutter, kneeling in the snow next to him. You take the sponge from him with gloved hands. “I’ll do this, you’re gonna get frost bite.”

He doesn’t fight you, just sighs and watches silently as you remove the rest of the paint. You knew Wayne came here at least everyday; even though they couldn’t find his body, you think it gave him comfort knowing he could visit him. It broke your heart; he fought so hard to clear his name and when he finally did, no one associated with him. Except you and Dustin. Sometimes, Steve Harrington, but that was rare; there was always something haunting him in his eyes, and you didn’t know what he saw when the earthquake happened, what he felt.

The headstone was cleaned up, and you stand up, dusting the snow off your knees.

“Thank you.” Wayne mutters, lighting up a cigarette. He stares at Eddie’s name and looks over at you. “How are you doing? Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

That made you feel guilty, something about the winter was turning you into a hermit. It had been over a year since Eddie’s death and for some reason, the grief hurt more in the cold, like bones full of arthritis.

You shrug. “Would you believe me if I said I’ve been good?”

He smirks. “Not in the slightest.”

“I’m still hanging on.” You sigh. “That’s all I can do; all anyone can do.” A cold chill creeps up your spine, but it wasn’t from the wind. It felt foreign, but familiar. And you couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching you, you shake the feeling. “What about you?”

He grumbles. “I don’t do shit besides work, so, nothings changed.” You give him a sweet smile and he sigh, gently patting your back. “It was good seeing you kid, don’t be a stranger. My doors always open.”

You watch him walk away, feeling the sadness overwhelm you as you turn back to the headstone. You knew Wayne meant it, knew that you felt the safest when you were there. Not that your house wasn’t safe, but when you graduated last year, your mother left the house to you when she retired and moved down to Florida. Completely paid off, but you hated being alone. You considered getting a cat, but you could barely take care of yourself let alone an animal. All you did was go to work at the record store, come home, make yourself dinner and go to sleep. Weekends was when you “decompressed” and that consisted of smoking an entire joint to your face while watching all the Star Wars on repeat. Eddie would always make you laugh by reenacting the final battle between Vader and Luke, doing the voices, using your broom as a lightsaber. It was moments like that that made you miss him the most, when he made you laugh until you couldn’t breathe, when he would just hold you on the couch, gently curling his fingers through your hair. His favorite thing to do was to play air guitar on your leg whenever his favorite song came on, and it drove you crazy because he would tickle you at the same time.

You silently walk back to your car, and shiver as you turn the ignition on. It would take at least five minutes for your car to heat up, it was as old as dirt. You still felt eyes on you as the sun set overhead, you jump back, seeing a dark shadow skitter behind a tree.

A dark human shadow.

No, it was just an animal. That’s all.

Just an animal.

The drive home was silent; you had kept the music low. You couldn’t stop thinking about your dream. You couldn’t stop thinking about him, and how he felt. He was so cold, but he caused a fire to erupt inside you. You pull in your driveway; the first thing you notice was the soft light coming from the living room. You don’t remember turning it on before you left; you don’t remember a lot of things as of lately. You step out of the car and walk up your steps to the front door. You push the door shut with your hip, locking the deadbolt and the chain. You hang up your coat and kick the snow off your boots, slipping them off. Quickly changing into black sweatpants and an oversized flannel, you take your weed stash out of your drawer and roll yourself a few joints. You kept your wool socks on and had ignited the fire in the fireplace.

The couch you had was old, but it was comfortable. You also couldn’t afford to buy a new one, and as much as you hated the thing, it was sentimental to you. The music from A New Hope comes over the television speakers, you light up the joint, feeling the burn as you pull the smoke into your lungs. You lean back, pulling your hair into a messy braid, the joint dangling from your lips. The overhead light flickers violently, startling you; followed by the sound of footsteps coming from upstairs.

Nope.

You know how this goes; you’ve watched every slasher film since the early 80s, you learned a thing or two about going after an unexplained sound.

You were just high; everything was fine. The house was old; it was bound to have weird electrical issues and settling foundation. Living alone sucked, every sound you heard made you feel like you were signing off on an unavoidable death. Your leg bobs and you groan, pushing yourself off the couch, and going to the front door to make sure everything is locked.

Double checking the windows, the doors, the basement door, you realized you were just psyching yourself out. You needed to lay off the weed for awhile, or actually get a cat. As you walk back to the couch, the lights flicker again and then they burn out.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You mutter, trying to blindly move your way back to the kitchen to grab a flashlight. You grip the handle of the drawer, but you pause. The hair on the back of your neck rises; a cold breeze blows through your hair, and you shudder. Physically, you couldn’t move, but your brain was telling you, you needed to run. Something wasn’t right, something was in the kitchen with you.

It was so cold.

“Mmm…you smell so sweet.”

You scream, loud, and you let go of the drawer. You’re running. Something cold breezes by you and suddenly you’re lifted in the air, being forcefully slammed against the wall of your living room. Cold hands were on your throat, but it wasn’t tight, just a strong hold…

You were terrified, you start punching at whatever has a hold of you, and then you hear a low rumbling growl as your pushed harder into the wall. You go still, your eyes are still squeezed shut, your heart was racing.

“I can hear your heart beating.”

You gasp, and you open your eyes.

That voice. From your dream.

You could only see darkness in front of you, but whoever had a hold on you, the moonlight hit his face just right. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t peel your eyes away, you couldn’t believe what you were seeing…except…

His eyes.

Wide, hints of that chocolate brown, with a weird color…almost blue, but not…like a tiger’s eyes. His hair…curly, matted, beautiful. His eyes scared you, terrified you. It looked like he was wearing eyeliner, but as you look closely, it’s just very dark circles; the corners of his eyes crinkled, he was grinning at you through the darkness.

“Eddie?” You finally find your voice.

Another low growl: you gasp, feeling as his hand curls around your throat, moving up your chin, and curls his hands painfully in your hair. You could feel his breath on your neck as he pushes himself against you. He was freezing, his hands were even colder. What was happening? Were you dreaming again? No, you’re awake.

You’re awake!

“Eddie.” You say again, louder this time. His hand goes to your mouth hard, pushing your head against the wall, you groan out in pain against his hand. He was so strong. You see his full face now, he was still grinning, it was so sinister and tears spring to your eyes. Whoever this was, it wasn’t your Eddie.

But it was.

His face, his eyes, his hair.

He puts his pale finger to his lips.

“Shhhhh…” He giggles, deep, guttural. His other hand moves down your arms, towards your waist, he tightens his hand there, moving it slowly towards your breasts. Your nipples peak at the coldness of his hand, and a soft grunt escapes you. He lifts his eyes to you, gently pulling his hand away from your mouth. Your breathing picks up as you stare at him, his hand moving closer and closer to your nipple. “Mmm. You’re so beautiful covered in darkness.” His breath hits your lips, and you shudder when he licks you from the base of your throat, all the way up to your lips. He’s kissing you, his tongue dancing with yours, you go to touch his face, but he pins both arms above your head, and you moan, a pleasant tingle settles in your gut. His fingers pinch your nipple now, and you moan against his mouth. He lets out a low growl, licking and sucking his way to where your neck meets your shoulder. Your eyes flutter closed, feeling his teeth graze the sensitive spot on your skin.

You need to see his face again.

You needed to be sure.

“Eddie look at me.” You say breathlessly.

He bites you; you swore he drew blood, and he kept going, his mouth now causing you pain as he bit into your flesh. “Eddie, Eddie! Stop! Stop! You’re hurting me! Stop!” You yell at him, breaking out of his grasp with all your strength and you instinctually push him away.

You see his discolored eyes widen for a split second in the darkness, like he realized he had forgotten something and just remembered that he did. And in that exact moment, the lights turn back on.

He was gone.

Where the fuck did he go?

No, this really happened, he was here. He was standing right here.

Your hand goes to your throat, you feel warmth, a stickiness, a smell. Your heart pounds in your chest when you pull your hand away and see blood. You rush to the bathroom, the light too bright. You squint at yourself in the mirror, your eyes widening as you see a smear of blood right where he had bit you, and his teeth marks. You grab a washcloth, placing it to your throat and wincing. You felt violated, but you also felt…somewhat whole again.

You also felt crazy.

After cleaning yourself up, you spent a half an hour walking through every inch of your house, trying to find some sort of proof that he was there. The doors and windows were still locked, nothing looked amiss. There was no way you imagined it; you could feel him, see him, you had the fucking bite mark to prove it. Why did he bite you? Why did he seem to enjoy hurting you?

Maybe you were imagining things.

Because Eddie wouldn’t be that sinister.

No, the Eddie you knew wouldn’t do that.

He just wouldn’t.

“You look like hell.”

You meet Dustin’s eyes from across the table of the diner, you were pushing your pancakes around your plate with your fork.

You smirk, “Nice to see you too, Dusty.”

He wasn’t wrong; you had barely slept. It had been over a week since the encounter in your living room. The morning after, when you had taken off the bandage from your throat, you almost threw up when you see there was no healing wound, no sign of the blood that was there, no bite mark. That moment of just staring at yourself in the mirror gave you validation that maybe you were a little bit crazy. You haven’t had any dreams that you remember, and everything felt normal at your house.

He gives you a sweet smile. “I’m sorry. I know it’s been a rough year. I hope you’re taking care of yourself.”

“Are you?”

He blinks, something flashes over his gaze, a memory, and his face pales for a moment before he’s smiling at you again. “Why yes, I am. Me and the guys started a new campaign with Erica Sinclair. We left off where…we didn’t finish it…we thought we shouldn’t.”

You nod, feeling your lips tug it onto a frown. He was with Eddie when he died, but he never told you the full story. Part of you wanted to know, the other part didn’t. He spent months trying to convince everyone in Hawkins that Eddie was innocent, even going as far as telling parts of his story how Eddie died protecting a town that hated him. A lot of the townspeople believed him, but the others were too stubborn to believe it.

“Are you okay?” He asks you gently.

You give him a smile, shrugging. “No, but I’ll be fine.”

He stares at you, biting his lip, he looked like he was trying to tell you something, but he doesn’t. Instead, he says, “Nightmares again?”

You stare at him. Not really sure if you want to tell him what you’ve been dreaming about; how part of you is still convinced that he’s alive. You nod anyway. “Not nightmares, just…he’s in them more. And they feel real, like I can feel him touching me, and I can see him. Before it was just…darkness. Sounds crazy but, I feel like he’s alive when I have them.” You shake your head. “I know it’s crazy but, it’s comforting I guess.”

Dustin nods, staring down at his plate of food. “Doesn’t sound crazy. I’ve seen him a few times too…in my dreams. Except he’s…he’s different.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, he’s just…” he stops and awkwardly laughs. “It’s just dreams, our brains like to play tricks on us.”

He doesn’t say anything more, and you don’t ask him any further. You change the subject, and the two of you chatted about the future, where you wanted to go if the opportunity arose. You weren’t sure if he noticed, but you couldn’t shake the feeling again that someone was watching you, you felt blood as you dug your nails into your palm.

It had started to snow later that night, you sat at your bay window, watching as the snow made everything quiet. You pull gently on the end of the joint, inhaling deeply, letting the smoke billow from your nostrils.

A brush of cold air tickles your skin and you shudder, quickly closing the window.

“Mommy finally left you the house?” A deep chuckle from a familiar voice.

You gasp, a scream stuck in your throat as you stumble to the floor. You gaze into the kitchen, and your heart falls to your stomach.

No. It couldn’t be.

He stood there leaning against the doorframe, smiling at you, his arms crossed over his chest. His jeans had holes at the knees; you notice his hellfire shirt…torn at the sides, dried blood everywhere, healed teeth marks on his pale flesh. His army green jacket was covered in dark spots, and his boots, they were surprisingly clean. His hair was still beautiful, but again…

His eyes.

You couldn’t move from where you sat, your eyes were wide as you fixed on his gaze. He moves closer to you, and you whimper. “What happened to you?” You whisper, your voice shaking.

“Oh, you know, this and that. It was pretty fucking gnarly.” He grins at you. He lifts up his shirt and you flinch; all around his stomach and sides were healed scars. You close your eyes and shake your head.

“No, I need to wake up now, I need to wake up.” You say to yourself and feel tears burn your eyes. You feel a rush of a cold breeze and your eyes snap open. He’s so close to your face.

“No. No. No. No. It’s okay, it’s me.” He grins at you, his cold finger gently caressing your cheek as you turn your face away from him. “You don’t need to be scared. I’m not gonna hurt you…I just want to taste you a little bit.”

You shake your head, meeting his gaze. “You’re not Eddie.”

He laughs, a mocking laugh, his head titling to the side. “I’m not? Your body is telling you differently.”

He wasn’t wrong: there was so much excitement coursing through your veins, you felt the familiar love you felt for him as you stared at him. You missed him so much. The man kneeling in front of you has the face of Eddie but not his mind. Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong with him. “Please…”

“Please what? You can get up and move anytime you want to, sweetheart. Just don’t run, it gets me all…” he shudders and rolls his shoulders, grinning again. “It gets me all riled up inside.”

What? Like he’s a fucking predator?

“Eddie…” You whisper and his eyes dart to yours. “How are you alive?”

He sits back on his heels, studying your face. His grin touches his eyes, and it scares you. “Who says I’m alive?” He giggles at your widening eyes; you almost flinch away from him when he grabs your face. Holding your cheeks, his thumb gently moves over your lips. A growl rumbles in his chest. “So beautiful…your lips. I missed you.”

Tears well in your eyes, and you squeeze them shut. “I missed you too…”

You hear what sounds like him crying, and then you realize he’s laughing. High pitched, cackle and you look at him, your heart shattering. “My boyfriend died and left me. My heart is in a million pieces, I can’t get up at night because I miss the love of my life, I wish he was here, I know he’s alive, waaaaah, waaaah. Seriously, sweetheart, you sound so pathetic.”

“Fuck you!” You yell at him, or whatever the fuck he was. He laughs even harder and stands up and moves away from you.

“Well, baby, you got your wish.” He extends his arms out to his sides and does a spin. “Here I am, and I’m better than ever.”

You scramble to your feet towards the front door, you hear him groan in annoyance as he jumps in front of you, using his body to block your way to the door and he pulls you towards him by your hair. He pulls your back to his chest, his nose buried in your hair as his arm drapes over your shoulder and chest. “What did I say about running? Now you got me feeling things.” His voice is deep, guttural, menacing.

You close your eyes, feeling the coldness from his lips as they touch your throat. “Did you think of me when you touched yourself? Did you scream my name?”

You tremble, but a smirk toys at your lips and you feel a pleasant ache between your legs as he tightens his hold. That wasn’t a dream, she realizes. That was real. He was real.

“Eddie…” You whimper, your fingers digging into his jacket, you try to turn your face to his mouth, but he moves his face away.

“Mmmm…I love when you say my name. Say it again.” His hand travels down your tummy, swims over your navel, teasing the snap of your jeans.

Your eyes flutter closed. “Eddie.”

His growl vibrates in his chest, his cold hands go into your underwear, and you arch your back against him as he palms your clit. “Again.” His lips kiss your throat gently.

“Eddie…” You moan, your breath coming out in short gasps as you feel his cold fingers slip inside you.

“Again…” He bites your throat, but it didn’t hurt you, instead, it lit something up inside of you, something that had been building and building.

And boy, did it feel fucking good.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson comfort #Spotify

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her-power · 2 months

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Down Memory Lane (So Much Has Changed...)

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader (18+)

Now presenting yet another Eddie fic from me named after a McFly song.

Word Count:2,015

Warnings:18+, Smut, Oral Sex (F rec), Soft/Sappy romantic sex, Friends to lovers, mentions up the upside down,

Eddie Munson Masterlist // Masterlist

As he peered down at you lovingly with those big sparkling brown eyes that you had come to love, you couldn't dream of being anywhere else.

Safely caged underneath his body. His lips kissing along the column of your throat. A sweet trail that ended with his lips pressed upon yours. His tongue slipping in to dance with yours.

Falling for your best friend was never something you had anticipated, but Eddie made it so easy.

You still remember when you first met him as a young boy all those years ago.

You cried as your mother moved with you into your new home. Well, new trailer, actually. She had to uproot you from your old home when she got a new job here in Hawkins. You didn’t want to leave your old school, your friends and everything familiar around you, but it wasn’t your decision to make.

“Hey there, you lookin’ for a friend?” A young boy with a gap in his teeth and a mop of dark curls asked as he made his way over to you.

“Hm?” You snivel, drying your tears on the sleeve of your hoodie.

“You look like you could use a friend right now.” The boy says. “My uncle always says that the best thing you can be is a kind friend to someone who needs a smile.” he continues sitting next to you on your trailer’s step.

“I’m Eddie” he smiles, extending his hand out towards yours.

Shaking his hand in yours you tell him your name in exchange.

“Now we aren’t strangers anymore.” his smile is infectiously warm and welcoming that suddenly moving to Hawkins didn’t feel so lonely anymore.

Your eyes fluttered closed as he kissed you. Kissed you like it was his favourite thing to do. His fingers itching around the hem of your t-shirt.

“Will you let me see you, Sweetheart?”

You nod your head, a smile playing at your lips as he tugs the shirt from your body, flinging it to some dark corner of his room.

“You’re so beautiful, Sweetheart.” His words are murmured against the soft skin of your breast that spills from your bra’s cups.

“You’re so beautiful, Sweetheart.” he smiled, his hands delicately held on to your waist as you slowly swayed in time with the music in the school’s hall. Truth be told, Eddie didn’t care all that much about going to prom, but the look on your face when you told him how excited you were about going was so cute that he couldn’t help himself. You weren’t dating, no, this was no more than two friends going out and having a nice time dancing together.

The fact that Eddie secretly scared away any guy who even so much as dared to ask you to be their prom-date was something he would be keeping to himself.

The way you smiled so brightly as he dipped and twirled you on the dancefloor had been worth every moment of getting dressed up in the nicest black tux he could afford. Eddie would do anything to make you smile.

Happy to see you being treated as the princess that you deserved to be, if only for one night he got to be your Prince Charming. If only for one night.

Even if Wayne had teased him when he snapped a picture of you two all dressed up for the occasion.

His hands reach behind your back, making quick work of snapping the clasps of your bra before sliding the straps down your arms. His lips are all too eager to attach themselves to your breasts, the kisses urgent as his tongue playfully swirls around one of your nipples, toying with it until it peaks into a hardened bud. His guitarists fingers pinching and plucking the other with practised ease, smirking against your skin when he hears your stifled moans of pleasure.

The sun was setting over Lover’s Lake, the last hazy gleam of the summer’s end glittering off the water in front of you. He brought you here every summer, always wanting to spend his time with you watching as the sun fell, washing the sky with warm peachy-oranges and dusky pink clouds.

Leaning your head against Eddie’s shoulder with a soft sigh of contentment you break the comfortable silence between the two of you.

“I love you Ed.”

“I love you too, Sweetheart.” He replies, kissing his lips into the crown of your head. He loved you more than he could ever begin to explain, way more than it to be considered platonic on his side, but even so he could never find the words to tell you.

“I love you more than I should as a friend.”

“Sweetheart…”

“No, no, I know, it’s stupid and we’re only friends, and you don’t feel the same wa-”

You’re cut off by Eddie tilting your chin upwards, making you look at him.

“Sweetheart, you don’t know how long I've been waiting to tell you how I feel about you. I never said anything because I was so worried that you didn’t feel the same and I didn’t wanna fuck up things between us. Your friendship means more to me than the way I feel for you.”

“Eddie..” you whisper, leaning in close to his lips.

Eddie follows your lead, cupping your cheek in his hand, and kissing your lips with a tentative gentleness that had you melting against him. A soft press of his lips upon yours in a tender, long-awaited, kiss.

Eddie’s body comfortably slotted in between the open spread of your thighs, your underwear long gone now as he noses into the soft thatch of hair between your legs.

“Will you let me taste you, sweetheart..”

You nod shyly, not confident in your voice all of a sudden.

“Let me hear you say it, please..” his voice teases.

“Please Eddie..” you sigh, winding your fingers into his wild mess of curls. “I want you to make me feel good.”

His tongue sweeps across your folds in a wide stripe, tasting every inch of your wetness. Swirling around your clit, flicking over it a few times before going back to dragging his tongue through your pussy.

He moans against you, happily, as his plump pink lips gently suck on your clit, feeling how it pulses with your arousal under his actions.

“Taste’s so fucking sweet…” he mumbles against you, slurring his words out as he slips one of his long fingers into you, slowly crooking it to press against that spot that has you tensing up.

Your fingers tug gently at his dark curls, urging him to make you come with a desperate whine of ‘please’ falling sweetly from your lips.

He continues to eat you out with the insatiable hunger, licking and slurping up your dripping wetness and teasing the pad of his fingers inside you until he feels the tell-tale sign of you clenching around his finger. Listening to the breathy whines of you mewl out as you pulse for him with a gushing orgasm.

“That’s it…there’s my good girl…doing so well for me sweetheart..” he praises lovingly as his tongue gently kitten-licks over your clit, easing you down from your high.

He pulls away from your core, his lower face shining-wet with your arousal as he places a soft kiss to the inside of your thigh.

“Steve! Help me!” you cried out, not daring to leave Eddie’s body for one moment. The dark swirling of monsters from another dimension swarmed around you.

Eddie’s body had taken the worst of the damage as he tried to shield you from the creatures.

“Sweetheart, you know I love you right?” Eddie wheezed, his voice hoarse and scratchy.

“No.” you choked, the tears rising to your eyes. “I’m not doing final “I love you’s”. Not here. Not now.” you shook your head, doing your level best to support the weight of your boyfriend’s body as you made your way through the devastation of this dark world. Both of you trying to fend off the screeching bats as they dived towards each of your bodies.

Steve was finally able to get to you where helped you fight off the swarm of bats, sharing the heavy weight of Eddie’s body as he slipped one of Eddie’s arms over his broad shoulder, with you on the other side doing the same.

Somehow, by some shred of luck, the three of you were able to get back to Eddie’s trailer, and back through to the other side, before the portal closed off, leaving that dark dimension behind.

You immediately rushed to Eddie’s side, squeezing him so tightly, the fear that you had almost lost him to the horrors of that world still shuddering underneath your skin.

“You don't get to try to play the hero, Eddie. I love you too much to leave you behind.”

He rolls his hips into yours, leaning down to meet you as his lips brush against yours once more. Pulling sweet moans and mewling whimpers from your lips as he rocks into you slowly. Filling you deeply with every inch as he cages you safely beneath him.

“Love you sweetheart. You’re my girl forever and always, you know that, right?” he pants as his lips find yours once more.

You reach your hand up to brush away the dark curls that fall in front of his face, tenderly rubbing your thumb over the beginnings of stubble on his cheeks.

“Love you too, Teddy..Always and forever..”

He continues to rut into you, bringing each of you closer to your highs. His thumb reaching down between your joined bodies, eagerly rubbing precise circles on your clit, touching you in the way that he knows drives you wild.

The tell-tale signs of your breathy whines tumbling from your lips as you cling to him is all he needs to know that you’re close. The edge of pleasure within touching distance of your fingertips.

“Let go for me, sweetheart..Want you to feel good.” he murmurs as he passionately kisses you once more.

He thrusts into you a few more times, and that was all you needed before you were coming for him, clenching around his length with a silent cry of pleasure. It didn’t take much more than the tight squeeze of your pulsing cunt hugging against his length before Eddie was filling you up. Pressing his hips into yours as he fills you with rope after rope of his come.

You two stay close to each other for a while after, neither one of you daring to pull away from the other. Content to bask in the warmth of each other’s love.

Eddie’s body lay quietly in the hospital bed, machines steadily beeping as they monitored him. He’d taken the brunt of the damage that day, trying to protect you.

You couldn’t begin to describe the horror and darkness you’d seen that day. Nobody would have believed you if you tried.

But nevertheless you stayed by Eddie’s side through it all. Despite the heavy droop of your eyelids threatening to close as the exhaustion overtook your body.

Then you felt it. The gentle squeeze of his hand in yours. Gentle and soft, barely noticeable, but it was there.

That was what pulled you from your tired state. The way his hand fit so perfectly in yours, like it was always meant to be there.

“Eddie?”

His long eyelashes fluttered open, those big brown eyes that you had come to know and love looking back at you.

“Sweetheart?” his voice rasped out.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m here.” you nod, wiping away the tears spilling from your eyes.

“You didn’t think I was going to leave you, did you? Not without making good on my promise.” his husky voice asks, thumb grazing over his clunky metal ring that adorned the ring finger on your left hand.

“I never doubted you for one second.” you smiled, kissing his forehead. “Take all the time you need, Teddy. I’ll be here for you when you’re ready. It’s just you and me, remember? Always and forever.”

@penguinsandpotterheads @paybacksawitch @xxhellfirebunnyxx @reidsbtch @eddiesxangel @seatnights @keeksandgigz @onegirlmanytales @mrsjellymunson

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her-power · 3 months

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Last Chance to Dance (Part Six: Rockstar! e.m x fem reader)

🚨🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Last Chance to Dance Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Summary: Full Summary on Part One

Word Count: 8k

Fifteen years ago… “Fuck.” You mutter after poking yourself in the eye with your black eyeliner. You press your finger under your eyelid and smudge it, so it looks like you were doing it on purpose. You were renting a room close to your college; your roommates were two older women in their mid-seventies, both widowers and they made you feel like you were a part of their family for years. Your mother had got a new boyfriend, who had tried to make advances on you, and it got to the point where you punched him in the face. Your mother took his side naturally, and you had to do everything you could to make sure Eddie didn’t go back there to finish the job.

You were getting ready to head to the Hideout; Corroded Coffin had a small gig. Robin and Steve would be there, you haven’t seen them since you all graduated. Thunder was rumbling in the distance; there was supposed to be a rainstorm later tonight. You check your phone, no text messages from Eddie. He had been acting weird the last few days; weirder than normal, and you noticed it after the gift you had given him. He had lost his favorite guitar pick a few months ago, it was a dark red, with red flakes in the design that made it look like marble. You had found one that looked exactly like it when you had gone into the city, and you knew you had to give it to him. You had attached it to a necklace, and when you had given it to him, he immediately put it on, but there was something in his eyes that didn’t sit right with you. He stopped telling you he loved you, and that also didn’t sit right with you. Not that he needed to tell you it every day, but every time you would say it to him, he would just smile, and kiss you.

You tried not to think too much of it, you were excited for tonight. You threw on your black ankle combat boots, a dark gray dress, and an oversized denim jacket over it. You let Millie and Sandra know where you were going, they were on their way out to Bingo, and Millie had made a comment that she was trying to look her best for George, who had asked her on a date. They had given you a spare key, and you place it in your pocket as you laugh overhearing Sandra tell Millie that she better make sure she cleared the cobwebs from her “undercarriage”. The Hideout wasn’t far from where you lived, you still needed to drive. The thunder and lighting was still booming in the distance, something about this night made you feel like something was off.

The Hideout was full, bodies on top of bodies. You, Robin and Steve had found a little corner near the stage where the three of you could sit and chat comfortably. Robin could sense something was off with you, and with Eddie. Eddie barley kissed you when you walked into the Hideout, it was just a graze on your lips. You had knocked back a few shots to settle your nerves, the overwhelming feeling was too much for you to bear. The show was amazing as usual, the stage presence from the three of them was always such a treat to watch. You knew that one day, they would go somewhere, and their faces would be plastered on every magazine, their songs on every radio station. You just knew it.

Steve invited everyone back to his house after the show; the rain had started, and you felt relief knowing that you could just walk to Steve’s from where you lived. Eddie had met you there, you could already smell the booze on his breath as he kissed you. Kissed you. So much passion was behind that kiss you forgot how to breathe, and you were so confused. It was almost like he was a different person, someone who wanted to be in your presence, and so many questions swirled in your brain, but you couldn’t find the right words. So, you kissed him back with that equal passion, stumbling up the stairs to Steve’s spare bedroom, locking the door behind you. He had pushed the front of your body into the door, his mouth was on your neck, his hands gripped your thighs over your dress from behind. You didn’t know what had gotten into him, but you didn’t stop him. His hand tightens a hold on your hair, pulling your neck back into his shoulder, his mouth meeting yours as his other hand reaches down to finger you over your underwear. You moan at the sensation, the slight pain from his hair pulling, the roughness of his hands, the feeling of his tongue on your neck. You feel him lift your dress up, and you adjust your palms on the wall in front of you as he goes down to his knees and you feel his hot breath on your pussy. He buries his face into your folds and your head falls back in pleasure, his tongue lapping you up, tasting and devouring every inch of you. You grip the wall, moaning loud as his tongue fucks your dripping hole. His moans vibrate your entire body, and you feel him slide his way up your back, hear his zipper on his jeans, and the feel of his velvety cock as he pushes into you with ease. You both moan loudly, he holds on to your hips as he fucks you from behind, angling your ass up to get better friction. Broken moans were escaping your lips, and you were happy that Steve kept the music on loud downstairs. The tip of his cock was hitting you at the right angle; he pulls your face back to his by your hair again, his tongue licks your lips, begging for entrance and you massage his tongue with yours. He pulls out slowly, and then slams back into you. You cry out, the sensation and euphoria was causing your very core to tingle. He does it again, and again until you're practically begging for him to fuck you on the bed. He pulls out of you, turning your around, crashing his lips into yours, he grips the back of your head, groaning as he drags you over to the bed. He pushes you on your back, pushing up your dress, exposing your full naked breasts. You hear him growl under his breath, and he takes your nipple into his mouth, biting and sucking as you squirm underneath him. He pulls away from your breast, looking up at you with those big brown eyes.

“You want me to fuck you?”

You nod.

“How bad do you want me to fuck you?” He says, sticking his tongue out, tracing circles around the skin of your nipple. You groan at how fucking hot he looked, and your pussy got even wetter. You open your legs wider for him, and an almost sinister smile graces his lips. He glances down, smiling big. “Mmmm, looks like you want me to really bad.” He crawls up your torso, catching your lips in a kiss. He moans against your lips, and he grits his teeth, he slams his cock into you, so fucking hard you think you go cross eyed. He pushes your leg up by your ears in a Vulcan like grip, his fingers bruising the skin, but you loved that feeling, you needed it.

“Unnnnnnghhhh, want me to go harder baby?” He asks you, biting his bottom lip as he continues his fast pace with the roll of his hips. You feel like a magical being, something that was sent down from the cosmos, you didn’t want this feeling to go away.

“Ohhhh my god…” You moan hoarsely, he was hitting you there, that sweet, sweet spot. “Faster, Eddie…ohhhh!!!”

“Yeah?” He growls, his pace quickens, the headboard slams against the wall as animalistic grunts and whimpers spill out of him. “Fuck…ungh you’re so fucking tight.”

You felt the pleasure build in your lower belly; you meet his lips in a passionate kiss as he thrusts into you faster. You feel your orgasm approaching, you moan loudly into his mouth, and he pulls back from you, watching as you cry out, your orgasm rocking your entire body. He comes right after you, exploding inside you as his entire body trembles and he holds onto your hips for support. He pulls out of you, resting his head on your chest as you both catch your breath. He cups your cheek, leaning up to kiss you softly.

The two of you had hung out a little longer at Steve’s, you and Robin had beat him and Steve at beer pong and when it was getting late, Eddie said he’d walk you home. The rain had stopped but the ground was wet. The two of you walk in silence, you had glanced up at him as his face was scrunched in concentration. You continued walking but realize he had stopped, you turn to him, pulling your jacket tighter.

“Are you okay?” You ask him.

He’s looking down at his feet and then meets your eyes. You didn’t like the look he had in his eyes. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay…” you say softly. Your skin prickles with nervousness, your stomach was in knots.

He stares into your eyes, trying to fix his eyes on both of them, and you notice they are glassy and sad. “Me and the guys had made contact with someone in the east coast. He has managed a few pretty well-known bands; he wants to meet us. Get us a few gigs. We leave tomorrow.”

A smile forms on your lips. “Eddie, that’s amazing!” You had wrapped your arms around him in a hug but feel him stiffen, you pull back as if he electrocuted you. “Eddie, what’s going on?”

You stare up in his eyes, you see them fill with tears. “I can’t do this anymore.”

You move back a step, your stomach clenches. “Can’t do what?”

“Us…this. I can’t do it anymore.”

You stare at him, trying to process what he just said to you. Can’t do this anymore? What the fuck? What the actual fuck? Your eyes narrow and a laugh escapes you.

“Okay, I get it. You’re leaving tomorrow, probably for good…so you’re breaking up with me because I’m sure you’re gonna be looking for brand new pussy.” It’s out of your mouth before you could stop yourself, you were seething.

His eyes widen. “No…that is not why, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Then why?”

He doesn’t answer you, and you feel hot tears sting your eyes. You stare up at him, and you shake your head. “What the fuck was that then up at Steve’s? A goodbye fuck?!” He still doesn’t answer you and you swear it feels like bug are crawling under your skin, you whimper, looking away from him. He goes to reach for you, but you step back from him. “Don’t fucking touch me. You’re disgusting.” Your eyes are wild, and he moves towards you again, you shove him away.

“I’m sorry.” He says, tears streaming down his face and the rain starts up again.

“No, you’re not.” You shake your head; the rain pelts your hair, and you stare up at him. Your anger seething. “You just threw away a lifetime of fucking friendship. A LIFETIME. I should’ve known this would happen. You never loved me.”

He whispers your name and shakes his head at you. “No…no…that’s not…”

“Fuck you.” You scream at him. “FUCK YOU!”

You stand there in the rain, and he just stares at you. “I’m sorry…”

“STOP SAYING YOU’RE SORRY!” You cry, tears streaming down your face. “Stop. Just stop. Get away from me, I can’t believe I’ve let you touch me…do all those things with you…you’re fucking FILTHY. I hate you. I fucking hate you!” You shove him hard by the chest and shove him again. He grabs you by your wrists hard pulling you to him, he looks angry now, and tears continue to spill from his eyes as you squirm against him.

“Believe what you want to believe but these last few years fucking meant something to me, and you can hate me all you want but don’t stand there and say that I didn’t love you.”

“You didn’t.” You sneer, pulling out of his grasp and you walk backwards away from him. “Enjoy your life, Eddie Munson. I hope you never feel the pain I’m feeling right now, and if you do, I hope it fucking destroys you.”

You turn from him, walking the opposite direction of your place and the rain comes down harder. You speed walk towards Lover’s Lake, laughing at the irony. You go towards the water, the rain pelted harder against you, and a loud boom of thunder cracks as you scream at the top of your lungs.

(Eddie’s POV) I jump awake when I hear the sound of a car horn. I had pulled off onto a rest stop in Vermont at three o’clock this morning. I rub my eyes, tossing the fleece blankets off of me from the backseat of my truck. It was almost seven in the morning; and I wish I had more blankets. The temperature gauge read that it was 14 degrees outside when I started up the car, I blow warm air into my hands and zip up my leather jacket, throwing my jean jacket on over it. I had double checked your return address on the letter about sixty times, making sure I had the right one. The gps said I would be getting to you in about four hours.

I needed coffee.

I had found a Dunkin Donuts a few miles off the highway and had ordered myself some food. The young girl at the drive thru immediately recognized me and had asked for a selfie. I was happy to, she was very sweet, and didn’t want me to pay for my coffee. So, I gave her a one-hundred-dollar tip that she had tried to give back to me, but I had smiled and drove off so she couldn’t chase my truck.

A sudden thought crosses my mind.

The girl from the meet and greet. Who had the cancer. I pulled over again into a parking lot, scroll down until I find Gareth’s number. He answers on the first ring.

“Dude, where are you?” He sounds panicked. “I can back to your house and you’re not here, but your door is unlocked and there’s shit everywhere.”

“I’m on my way to Maine, listen…”

“Maine? What is in Maine?”

I close my eyes, leaning my head against the seat, waiting for him to make the connection. “Oh…oh!!! Dude why are you calling me?! Go to her! Drive!”

“I’m trying to, but can you listen to me for one fucking second please?” I laugh into the phone. “Remember that girl we met who had the terminal cancer, do you have the email of her mother?”

“Uhhhhhhh, hang on.” I hear a shuffling as the line goes quiet. “Wow, I actually do. Do you need it?”

“Can you email her? I just need to know how she is…attach my number to the email.”

“Eddie…that was almost a year ago and she was really sick when we met her,,,I don’t want to get your hopes up.” He was right and I knew that.

“Just…please. I just need to know.”

He sighs on the other end. “Okay. I will. Be safe driving please, there’s supposed to be a snowstorm hitting up here in a few hours. I’ll make sure your house doesn’t blow away.”

“Appreciate that, man.” I chuckle.

“Go get her, man.” He says teasingly.

I laugh loudly. “Shut up, Freddie Prinze Jr.”

I hang up the phone and start my journey towards you. I had no idea what I wanted to say, or what I could say. I knew you didn’t reach out to me because of pity, deep down I knew that. But I remembered how bad I hurt you. How you looked when I told you I couldn’t be with you, the anger in your voice, the sadness. And I thought you were just trying to hurt me, but why would you? You don’t have that in your character. You’re too good.

You’re just a fucking moron, kid. Ted’s voice echoes in my head and I bite back a smile.

“Yeah, yeah. I hear you, dead man.” I turn on the music and drive on the stretch of highway. I was trying to think about what I wanted to say to you. How every moment these last few weeks have been nothing short of wonderful. How I fell more and more in love with you; how I should’ve just married you all those years ago. How I should’ve just listened to my gut and let you in.

How you saved me.

In more ways than one.

Even when I was at my worst, you were there. Somehow, in some way.

That’s why I never take the necklace off. Not anymore at least. When I got high, I think maybe I didn’t want you apart of that, it was like I thought your own eyes were watching through the necklace. I feel the shame when I think back to how bad it was for me, to how I didn’t care about anything, how getting high was the only thing that mattered to me. I didn’t care who I hurt, who I fucked.

I didn’t care what happened to me. But now, I actually did care about myself. I was too young to give up now, I was too stupid to give up on us. Not when it mattered, not when someone who cared about me so deeply, wanted to see me survive a disease so horrendous, and brought me back to you. I probably should’ve called you, but the way we left things, I knew you wouldn’t answer. I needed to prove that I was in it for the long run, that I was willing to commit and love you for the person you’ve always been.

(Reader POV) You tug at the snarls in your hair. The fluorescent lights in the bathroom did nothing to help your tired features. You were on your third day in a row at the hospital, maybe slept five hours in between that time. You were able to shower, which was nice, but it still didn’t help the pure exhaustion you felt.

The utter sadness you felt in your gut.

You weren’t sure if you were sad or angry at Eddie. Maybe a little bit of both, but you couldn’t blame him for thinking the way he did, for assuming. But fuck him for assuming, he should know you better, if you didn’t want to reach out to him, you wouldn’t. You grip the porcelain sink in front of you, closing your eyes. Every time you closed your eyes, you felt the feel of his lips against your skin, the callouses on his fingertips, the way he said your name. All of those feelings that you kept buried for so many years came flooding back the second you locked eyes again. You hated how he made you feel, he still had that chokehold on you, and you knew you had some sort of grip in him.

You open your eyes and groan at your reflection. You had to get back on the floor. You already had three new patients in the span of twenty minutes: an elderly woman who had broken her hip from a fall, a seven-year-old boy who had split open his chin from falling off his bike, and a middle-aged drug addict who had to be restrained once he awoken from the help of the narcan. He was a stubborn son of a bitch, and he was mean. Meaner than most patients you dealt with, but for some reason, you were the only one that could calm him down. You tie up your hair and places her stethoscope over your neck. You walk to the room where your addict patient was, he was scowling at you.

“What’s going on, Ben?”

“They won’t give me anything for the pain.” He says through his teeth.

“I can order you Motrin.” You smile at him and check his IV bag.

“Sweetheart, come on.” He groans.

“Honey, you told me you were an addict. Withdrawing from opiates and you want to get clean. I’m not getting you anything stronger.” You say with a raised brow and a smirk. “I can get you chocolate.”

He grumbles. “Fine.”

You grin and he tries to hide his smile. “Cake or ice cream?”

He actually smiles at you. “Both?”

“You got it.” You say with a smile, typing away on the small computer screen. “I’ll get you that motrin too.”

He groans and you laugh. “Ben, work with me here.”

“You’re lucky you’re beautiful.”

“Aww, don’t make me blush.” You wink at him and exit the room. You hear a commotion in the hallway as one of the doctor’s calls your name, you stop what you’re doing and start running. The paramedics are wheeling in a young man, a mask over his face, and his shirt ripped open. He was strapped to the bedrails by the rubber restraints, fighting and screaming through the mask to be set free.

“What do we got?”

“Twenty-eight-year-old male, found outside a local bar. Friends said he had drunk a copious amount of alcohol, and had found him vomiting blood on the sidewalk. Four narcans have been administered and he is becoming violent. His stats are abnormal.”

“Get me the fuck out of here!” He screams. “I will blow this place up!”

“Calm down, sir, we’re trying to help you.” You shout at him, holding his shoulders down.

“Fuck you! I don’t need any help.” He yells at you, his voice muffled through the mask. The coloring on his face was concerning you, he was almost ashen, with yellow tints and you realize with the vomiting of blood and the skin coloring, he was in full liver failure.

“He’s going into liver failure; we need to get acetylcysteine in him now.” You say to the doctor, and they immediately wheel him into the ICU. You had put in an order for the medicine, had checked for his next of kin, because deep in your gut, you didn’t think this man was going to be making it out of this hospital alive. The only relative he had listed was a sister who lived in Portland; you were dreading making the call, but you had to.

Once they had got the patient settled and stabilized, he had calmed down a lot. It was almost seven o’clock in the morning, and you could feel the delirium settle in your bones as you gently go through his belongings. He had everything in his pockets: cell phone, wallet, keys, a capped needle.

A loose bag with a white substance.

You suddenly realize you’re not wearing gloves, and the powder is on your hands. Fuck. You back up slightly, and bump into someone’s chest. You turn.

It’s Eddie.

You look up at him, your heart was racing. You blink a few times…

“You shouldn't…be here.” You tell him, but your voice sounds weird.

He says your name, confusion on his face.

You felt dizzy…something was wrong…

What did you touch?

You smile when you look at Eddie. “I should’ve worn gloves.”

Everything goes black.

(Eddie’s POV)

I had made it into your town; you were right when you said you lived in a cabin in the woods. There was a small dirt road that led up the way to your house. I was lucky I was in my truck; the rocks were a pelting my tires and the wheels were spinning because the ground was icy. The snow looks so beautiful here, it made everything seem still, silent. I drive a little way and I saw your house approach my line of sight. I’m amazed at how gorgeous your house is. It was very quaint, with a small wraparound porch and a small garden. I didn’t see your car.

“Dammit.” I mutter to myself; I get out of the car and jog up the steps to your front door. I knock, I don’t know why I’m expecting an answer because you’re clearly not home. The hospital, the one I passed on the way here. That has to be the one you’re working at. I rush back into my truck and turn around in your driveway. I don’t know why I was rushing, maybe I was afraid I was going to lose you forever. That there would be no turning back from it at all.

I see the tall building come into view as I pull into the parking lot; I remember you saying you worked in emergency department and ICU. I realize that if y0u were actually inside the department and not the waiting area, there is no way they’d let me in. So, looks like I had to be creative and go back to who I was when I was teenager.

I still knew how to break a lock. I park near the emergency entrance and see the doors that lead to the ambulance drop off. I had to be quick and careful about it, because if I was caught, I would most likely be going back to jail. It would look like I’m breaking in to steal drugs; but little did they know, the hospital had the shitty stuff. I jog towards the back, peeking my head behind the brick, seeing an ambulance but not seeing anyone outside. The doors were automatic, I realize. I had maybe about ten seconds before someone came out and saw me.

This is the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever done.

I pull my hood up and immediately take it off, like that wouldn’t cause suspicion. I scoff at myself and go into a sprint towards the automatic doors and let out a breath once I’m inside and I see no one. I had to keep going, because I knew my luck was gonna run out.

Because well, it’s me.

I hear a commotion coming through a doorway, and I see people running. I follow the crowd, make myself blend in, and I’m in the emergency department. I push past a few medical personnel, it was so chaotic in here no one passed me a second glance. I’m looking up and down the hallway, trying to see if I can spot you. I had no idea where the fuck I was going but something was pulling me to just walk.

I freeze when I see you rush out of a room, you’re holding a pair of men’s jeans in your hands and I watch as you go through his pockets. I walk towards you, and you stop what you’re doing, I see your shoulders heave and you begin walking backwards. Your back collides with my chest and you turn around, your eyes meet mine and your hands are upright.

Your eyes look weird.

“You shouldn’t…be here.” My heart was racing, something was wrong. I say your name, and you look down at your hands before looking back up at me.

“I should’ve worn gloves.”

I don’t know what’s happening but one second, you’re standing in front of me, the next your eyes are rolling in the back of your head and you’re collapsing into my chest.

I shout your name, my knees buckling underneath your dead weight. Your eyes were half lidded and your lips were turning blue. I hear a ringing in my ears. This can’t be happening. This can’t be fucking happening. A nurse came over and asked me questions I wasn’t sure I answered, and I felt bile rise in the back of throat when I see the nurse pick up a baggy with a white substance in it, along with other belongings I assumed belong to a patient. I feel tears sting my eyes and suddenly you’re lifted out of my arms.

I stand, my eyes wide. The nurse looks at me, snaps her fingers in front of my face asking me who I was. I tell her I’m family, and they’re wheeling you on a gurney into an adjacent room. I kept hearing the word carfentinal…what the fuck was that? Did you do that? Did you touch it? I don’t even realize I’m walking, but I’m following closely to the room you’re in. Your shirt is ripped open, and I see them give you narcan, once, twice, three times.

I flinch.

Ted’s dead face, bloody mouth.

No please.

It feels like my body is dying. I can see the bloody foam pool from my mouth.

I can’t move my legs.

Your face is bluer. Or am I just imagining things?

“Clear!”

I watch in the doorway as your chest rises with the shockwaves.

Ted’s dead. Dead. Am I dead?

You’re dying, aren’t you?

No. No. No. No. No.

“Sir, you need to step back!”

I try to speak; I taste my own tears. What the fuck?

Ted won’t wake up. Neither will you. I feel my legs start to buckle as they give another shock to your heart; your skin was almost ashen. A nurse grabs my forearm so I don’t hurt myself, I can’t see her, or hear her. I’m just staring at your form, unmoving, just like Ted’s. Just like mine when Gareth found me in my hotel room. Except I survived. Ted didn’t.

Where did they put those drugs? I need them. I’m dying with you; I can’t live without you.

No. NO ONE is dying today.

You’re still flatlining.

No. Please don’t go.

I think I’m yelling now.

No.

I’m wailing.

“PLEASE! PLEASE DON’T GO!”

There are warm hands on my shoulders, comforting me. I’m still wailing, and sobbing, and my throat keeps closing. I can’t see you anymore, you’re just a blur. Something hurts inside me; what is that feeling?

Oh, it’s pain.

It’s unbearable, fucking gut wrenching pain. You’re dying…you’re dying. You’re the one leaving me. This felt worse than my withdrawals. This felt worse than Ted dying.

Ted…why did you bring her back to me? She would still be here…

No one is dying today. Ted’s voice.

I can’t breathe. I’m hyperventilating. I shouldn’t have let you go, I should’ve ran after you when you left my house, I should’ve told you that you were everything and more to me.

No, please don’t leave me.

Please don’t leave me.

Don’t leave.

Please…please, baby…please come back to me…

A sound reaches my ears, a long, deep, gasp for air and suddenly nothing is blurry anymore, and I see you jolt up, vomit projectiles out of your mouth onto the floor. I can’t move from where I was, I’m convinced my eyes are playing tricks on me and you’re actually dead, your beautiful body and mind just a shell, your soul gone.

“Eddie…” Your voice hits my core, spilling into the vessels of my heart, pumping more blood, vibrating my skin. Your voice sounds raw, pained.

I scramble to my feet, and before anyone can stop me and I’m by your side. I can see you; you’re looking up at me, your beautiful eyes staring into mine. “I’m here.” I say, my voice trembles. I take your hand, it’s cold and clammy.

“You came back.” Your eyes are still half lidded.

I nod, a small sob escaping me. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I saw him…he told me to turn back.” You swallow hard, tears falling down your cheeks, I could tell the drugs were still taking affect.

“Who?” I stare into your eyes and your head slightly nods to the side. I squeeze your hand. No. No. No. Don’t go.

“Ted…he looked…he looked so good.” Your eyes full close and they put an oxygen mask over your face.

I begin to panic again, and confusion settles in my gut. Ted? What?

“Baby? Sweetheart…sweetheart, wake up.”

“Honey, she’s stabilized, but she’s gonna be going in and out of consciousness from the drug effects. We’re gonna move her to recovery.” A nurse tells me, and I don’t take my hand away, afraid if I do, you will be gone forever. I stare at your face, not moving from my spot. The nurse gently cups my forearm. “She’s okay, love. I promise you.” She gently pulls me back, and I let go of your hand and watch as they wheel you out of the room.

“I’ll bring you to the waiting area. Is there anyone we can call?” She asks me and I just stare at her. My eyes are still wide, the tears are still hot.

“When can I see her?”

“Soon, just walk with me. Let’s get you some water.” She says kindly and I nod, following her to the waiting area. I asked her what had happened, and she told me that you were exposed to carfentinal, which is a drug that is strong enough to take down an elephant. She believes that when you were going through your patient’s pockets, you had touched the plastic baggy with the substance, and since you weren’t wearing gloves, it had absorbed into your skin faster, causing the overdose. I didn’t know what to think when she told me and left me sitting in the waiting room. I had just witnessed you teetering on the line between life and death, and in one instance, you could’ve been dead. And I had teetered on that line for years, I played with death, I welcomed it.

What kind of monster was I back then? My friends, my family…they saw me choking on my own vomit, blue lips, flatlining and I continued on with my habit after that. Because I thought I was invincible.

I’m not invincible.

No one is.

A pain hits my chest and I groan. I’m thinking about the what ifs. What would I have done if I watched you die in front of me? Would I leave the hospital, go find a dealer and shoot into my veins enough heroin to kill me? Probably. The first time I lost you, I knew you were safe, living your life, like I knew you were still thriving. But watching you, a few minutes ago, so close to death, I felt something in me snap, like a rubber band. A tether that held us together for our whole lives was snapped the second I heard that machine flatline, a tether that kept my heart beating.

And I lost that.

For a moment.

A small moment that had dictated the rest of my life. A small moment, and I would’ve been dead hours after you.

Love is wild.

I must have fallen asleep, because when I come to, the same nurse is gently shaking me awake. “She’s asking for you.” She tells me. I rub the sleep from my eyes and quickly get up from the seat, my legs feel like jello. I follow her to a set of double doors, and she presses her name badge to the lock, and it opens with a beep. She stops outside a room and looks up at me.

“I didn’t get your name.” I tell her; she has been nothing but kind to me, and I feel like I owe her my gratitude for making sure I didn’t fly off the handle.

She smiles at me. “Kelsey. You’re Eddie."

I smirk, raising my eyebrow and she laughs. “She has talked a lot about you. I honestly didn’t believe her when she told me she grew up with and dated a famous rockstar, but she proved me wrong.” She looks through the doorway, towards you I’m assuming, but I couldn’t tell. “She’s my best friend here…and when I saw…it doesn’t even matter, because she’s okay, but I feel like if you weren’t here…she wouldn’t be. So, thank you.”

“I should be thanking you.” I tell her softly.

She smiles. “Not necessary.” She nods her head to the door. “It was nice meeting you, Eddie.”

I nod at her, watching as she walks away, and I sigh. I walk into the room, and I see you curled up on the bed, hugging a pillow to your chest. You were hooked up to two IVs; you still looked pale, but when you heard my footsteps, you open your eyes. I can’t stop the noise that comes out of my mouth when I see you smile. I go towards you, taking your face in my hands and I press my lips to yours. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” I cry against your lips and your fingers curl through my hair. I press my forehead to yours, caressing both your cheeks. “I thought I lost you forever.”

You peck my lips gently; your eyes look tired. “It was my fault for not wearing gloves. I forgot.” You shrug and let out a sigh, wiping my tears away. “You came back. Why?”

“Because I was stupid for letting you walk out of my house that night.” I smooth back your hair; I couldn’t stop touching you. “Because the thought of you being completely gone from my life, killed me more than the drugs did.”

You lean your head back on the pillow, listening to me, tears filling your eyes.

“I spent so many years of my life chasing something that had been right in front of me for so long. So many years of filling my body with poison when I should’ve been filling it with love. Love that I didn’t think I deserved.”

“Do you think you deserve it now?” You ask me, entwining our fingers. I stare into your eyes, and I smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” I sit near your legs, leaning my arm over you. “I promise you; I am never letting you go again.”

You lean towards me, kissing my lips, you smile. “If it weren’t for Ted…”

“I know.” My voice trembles and I squeeze your hands. “I know.”

“I think he saved me.” You whisper, and I let out a small sob.

“Yeah, yeah baby I think he did too.”

I meant it when I said that I was never letting you go again; because a month later, I moved into your house, our house now. I had sold my cabin; it was time. There were too many dark memories there. I needed a fresh start, and Maine was now my home. We were still working on the new album, after your overdose, I had written about four songs, two of them were heavy with the music, and since I stopped using drugs, I was able to scream again.

Gareth wrote a couple after Ted’s death, and Jeff had overcome his fear of singing, and had sung the most beautiful rock ballad I have ever heard. I didn’t know why he kept that voice away; it was smooth like Hendrix, and soulful like Miles Davis.

I loved my new solitude; I spent all morning today watching a black bear and her cubs roam around the front yard. I never realized how beautiful the world was. I spent so many years shielded by darkness and pain, I never bathed in the sunshine.

I sit in my office, my hand cramping from all the writing I was doing in my notebook. I was done with mandatory therapy, but I kept Dr. Ryan on twice a month. The bing of the email notification goes off on my desktop; I place my pen down and open my email. My brow scrunches, it was from a name I didn’t recognize. I click the message, and as soon as I read the first sentence, I’m weeping.

Dear Mr. Munson, Can I call you that? Is that weird? Eddie? Hi! It’s me, Caitlin. The girl who was dying. Guess what? I’m not dying anymore. Two months after your show, I had a routine appointment, and they said the cancer was almost gone. They didn’t understand how it was possible, because a month before your concert they told me I only had six months to live. Now I’m in remission. Isn’t that crazy? Gareth, your drummer had reached out to my mother a few months ago and had given her your phone number. I didn’t want to call because I’m still nervous and star struck over the fact that I had met you. And I’m better at conveying my thoughts with words anyway. I still remember what you said. And I never stopped thinking about it. Not only did your music save me, but you saved me that day. You got me to keep fighting, to keep that strength inside me brewing because my story wasn’t over yet. Thank you, Eddie Munson. Thank you for brightening a girls day with just your kindness and your words. I’ll never forget it.

Love, Caitlin xx P.S. Look! I have hair now!

I’m laughing and crying all at once as I stare at her picture. Her eyes are bright, her beautiful red hair was curled just above her shoulders, and her smile was glowing. She was alive, she fought it, and she won. I wipe the tears from my eyes just as you’re walking into the room with a coffee in your hand.

“What’s wrong?” You ask me and I tell you, I tell you everything, and you’re hugging me, telling me that even in my darkest days, I still made a difference in someone’s life. And you were right, I’m finally able to see it now.

We have dinner with Julie about once a month; Nellie will come with the kids sometimes, and every time we are laughing over something Ted had done or said, and just reminiscing about him.

I miss him. Man, do I miss him. I wish I could tell him how grateful I was that he had reached out to you, that he had brought you back to me. I wish he could see me now. Could see that I’m approaching a year of sobriety, that I plan on starting a foundation in his name that helps youth and musicians who are struggling with addiction, to get access to resources, housing, help and therapy when needed.

Rolling Stone had done a long interview about my addiction, and I was surprised they didn’t make me out to be a monster. I had so many social media messages from fans saying how they related to everything I said, how they were struggling, how brave I was. Even Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue reached out to me, I couldn’t believe it.

I wasn’t brave though. I was human.

A real life human, with real life flaws and trauma.

I’m looking at you now; I’m leaning against our doorframe of our bedroom, just watching you do your nighttime face wash routine in front of the bathroom mirror. You had on one of my t-shirts, naturally, and your hair was draped in waves passed your shoulders. You catch my eyes in the mirror, and you smile at me. “What are you staring at?” You smirk at me, flirting.

“You.” I say, walking towards you. “All of you.”

You pat your face with the washcloth and turn to face me, leaning back against the his and hers sink. You smile at me, and I pull you by your waist, pressing my lips to yours. You drape your arms around my shoulders, deepening the kiss and I lift you onto the bathroom counter. You squeal with delight, and I laugh, curling my fingers through your hair, feeling you wrap your legs around my waist. I knew you could feel how hard I was through my sweatpants, and like some sort of magnetic pull, you’re using your legs to pull me closer to you and I groan. Your fingers dig into my back like talons, and I move my lips to your throat, nipping your skin. You gasp and I run my tongue along the bite, moving my hands up your sides, cupping your breasts. Your nipples harden under my touch and your head falls back in pleasure. I peel off your shirt, quickly moving my lips to your breast, tasting your skin, pulling your nipple with my teeth. You push my face to yours hard, kissing me with so much passion and desire I almost forget to breathe. I lift you up by your ass, carrying you off the sink, and towards the bed. I lay you on your back, and I slide my way down your form, until I’m on my knees on the floor, pulling your legs towards my face. I hold your thighs, leaving soft kisses on the sensitive skin by your sex, and you arch your hips, helping me pull off your underwear. You lean up on your elbows to watch me, your chest heaving, your face flushed, and I spit right on your clit, burying my mouth into you. You groan, pulling my hair as I move my tongue in circles around your little bud, tasting your sweetness, moaning at the sounds you were making. You start grinding your hips against my face and I bring my hand down to my cock, fisting myself as you ride my face.

"Ohhhh, fuck…Eddie…”

I pull away from your cunt, looking up at you with a smile. “Keep riding my face like a good girl, but don’t come yet baby.”

You cry out as my lips suck on your clit, biting on it gently, my tongue lapping at your hole like I was a starved animal. You tighten your hold on my hair as you continue to grind against my tongue. Your breathing was picking up, and I keep tasting you, I’m not stopping, not yet.

“I’m so close…oh god…baby…please…”

“Please what?” I mumble against you.

“Make me come, please…make me come.”

I growl at your words, I take your clit into my mouth, suck hard and I’m moving my way up to your mouth, kissing you passionately. I push myself into you and you cry out, I grip your thighs, rolling my hips into yours, feeling every inch of you, moaning at how amazing you felt, how you just molded into me. My head falls back as I groan, and you let out a sob, whimpering and moaning as I feel you tighten around me.

“That’s it, baby.” I coo in your ear.

“Oh, oh my god…ohmygod…unghahhahhahh, Eddie…Eddie…fuckkk.” Your orgasm shatters through you, and I moan loud with you, feeling you clench around me as I come inside you at the same time. You hold onto my back for dear life, and I’m holding on to your waist, your thighs so tight, afraid if I were to let go, it would be over, and we would be no more. My lifeline, my love, my reason to keep going, the reason why I wasn’t dead at thirty-four, or thirty, or twenty-seven, or eighteen. The little girl who befriended me over a pack of Power Rangers trading cards, the girl who made me watch Titanic seventy-five times, the girl who wiped my tears away when I thought about my mother, the young woman I fell in love with, the woman that was living, breathing, right in front of me.

You, it had always been you.

fin.

A/N: Thank you for reading and being on this journey with me! So many of you have given me such wonderful feedback and support and I cannot thank you enough. This is has been so amazing for me and if I can make a difference in someone's life with just my words, I have done my job. I love you all. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE CONTINUED SUPPORT FROM MY TUMBLR FRIENDS, seriously, you guys are amazing.

Special shoutout to: @fearless-wretch-insanity - girl...I literally feel like I've known you forever. Yay internet Tumblr friends! <3 Thank you for being my muse.

New series posting in a few weeks!

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her-power · 3 months

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😂😂😂😂

Don't forget the true fucking protagonist here.

Joe's character, idc if he dies

if they touch this fucking cat, i will murder everyone.

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her-power · 3 months

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Dang.

Pant.Night

#eddie munson #stranger things

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her-power · 3 months

Text

Last Chance to Dance (Part Five: Rockstar! e.m x fem reader)

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Last Chance to Dance Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

A/N: I'm baaaaaaack. I'm feeling so much better. My son is getting better, and he's still his same goofy one year old self. This ends on a bit of a cliffhanger, but the final part will be Part Six! I think you're going to like how I end it. My next series is still brewing in my nogging right now, and I have a few one shot ideas. ALSO, the next series will be a surprise release. What's the theme? You may wonder. Well...I don't know yet! Lmao. I'm just gonna go with the flow, and let my fingers do the talking. (That sounds a little dirty, right? Meh. The dirtier the better!) The series might be based off of a sequence of dreams I have been having of our precious Eddie Munson/Joseph Quinn. I just have to figure out what the fuck they mean. Anyways, I love you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I also didn't proof read this, again, I let my fingers do the talking. ;)

Summary: Full Summary on Part One

Word Count: 7.4k

Seven months ago… It was a busy day at the hospital; it was so short staffed they had to call you down from oncology to fill in in the ICU. You were straddling a young man on a gurney who had come in with an overdose, doing chest compressions as they wheeled him into the room. He wasn’t responsive, he still had a pulse, but there was no reaction to his pupils or muscle movement. You knew he was likely brain dead; he had been unconscious for twenty minutes before he was found. It didn’t take much time for your brain to die out when there wasn’t any oxygen. You hopped off his gurney, another nurse took over with compressions because you were getting tired; the doctor on call had given him more Narcan, but then he started to code. They attempted to shock his heart two times before they called it. He was only twenty, another young life lost.

You had gone outside for a break; you barely smoked cigarettes anymore but today was one of those days where you were really craving the nicotine. It was a warm day, summer was around the corner, but you could never shake the chills you had when a patient dies. You only had an hour left of your shift, and then you could go home, shower off the day, and then enjoy your next two days off. You were playing a puzzle game on your phone when an unknown number shows up on your screen. You answer, the man on the other end asks if it was you, you say it was, and you’re not sure if you should hang up, or keep listening.

“My name is Ted Callahan, I’m a longtime friend of the band Corroded Coffin, and their manager.”

Your breath hitches for a moment, you scratch your head, confused on what was happening. “Uh…I don’t—”

Corroded Coffin. You have known that name longer than the world has, more than half your life.

“Listen, I know this is out of the blue, but I’m kind of at a loss right now. I’m calling because, Eddie is…he’s going through some stuff right now. He’s been mentioning you a lot lately, and I never even knew you existed until a few weeks ago, but…just hearing him talk about you, and your history, even though I don’t know much. I was wondering if you could help.” He sounds kind, you say to yourself, also exhausted. You never thought you would hear his name again, or even think he'd ever want to associate himself with you again.

“Me?” You say, almost laughing. “I don’t…I haven’t spoken to Eddie in…God, going on fifteen years now. We didn’t…we didn’t end on good terms, I’m surprised he even remembers me, I…” I think about him every day still.

“He said you were his first and only love…listen, honey. I’m gonna give it to you straight here. He almost died a few weeks ago, well, not almost, he did...for probably about five minutes. He overdosed on heroin and now he is in rehab after a legal issue in New York City with a few officers and the paramedics that revived him. I know it’s not your responsibility to save him, but I thought maybe you could reach out to him somehow…a phone call, letter. I don’t know what you kids do these days.”

“He almost died?” You almost whisper it; your breath is caught in your throat and your stomach turns sour.

“I’m not gonna make you do something you don’t want to do, honey. I don’t know exactly what happened with you two, but…there’s a spark that lights up in his eyes when he talks about you that I haven’t seen in a long time. You must have been really special to him.” He tells you softly.

“I don’t know about that.” You whisper. If I was so special, why did he leave?

“Will you at least save my number? Just let me know what you decide. Again, I’m sorry to dump this all on you. I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t think it was gonna make an impact on him…because I think if this rehab and sobriety thing doesn’t work, I’m afraid he’ll be dead in a year.”

You rub your forehead, squeezing your eyes shut. “I’ll…I’ll think about it. I’ll save your number.”

“Thank you…you have a very kind voice.” He says and you mutter a thanks, you too, and awkwardly hang up the phone. You’re not entirely sure what to think, you just knew you had to get back to work and you would deal with this later.

You tried not to think about him on the drive home; it was hard not to. Most days you went without thinking about him even though he was so very present on your heart. You’ve dated other people off and on for years, but nothing ever stuck. They were good men, but they were lacking something you quite couldn’t put your finger on. They weren’t him. You rolls your eyes at yourself, you hated how pathetic you felt when you thought about him. He was this famous rockstar, making millions, selling out stadiums and releasing records and most likely fucking every single woman that met him, but you still loved him. You still loved him after everything he put you through, you still loved him even though it had been fifteen years. It broke your heart hearing that he was using heroin, that it had gotten so bad he is now in a rehab. You weren’t sure how helpful you would be to reach out to him, or if he would even respond. You were still shocked when Ted told you he kept talking about you. It took everything in your power not to call him back and tell him to never contact you again because that part of your life was over.

Or was it?

You thought it was over. Fifteen years ago, it was. When he had ripped out your heart and stomped on it. When he had left you standing in the middle of the street, on a cold night in Hawkins, as you silently cried, repeating the words he said: “I can’t do this anymore.” He never gave you a reason why, even as he sobbed while he was telling you those words. The next day he was actually gone; Gareth, him and Jeff loaded up his van, and had left before the sun had risen that morning. You had grieved him and were on the way to finish grad school for nursing when you saw their faces on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. After that, their songs were on the radio, they were on everyone’s social media. He was everywhere, and you couldn’t get rid of him. You hated how good their music was, and you couldn’t believe the first song on their first album was the one the two of you wrote together. You remember that day like the back of your hand; it was summertime, senior year of high school was around the corner. You were two nerds in love, and no matter where you went, he was always by your side. You had always loved writing poetry, and that was what started the idea of you writing a few verses for him.

The wind whips your hair as you attempt to turn the page in your book with one hand, trying to shift the weight of the warm body near you as your lean against the trunk of a tree. Eddie was laying in your lap, writing in his composition notebook. Your other hand was gently curling through his hair, massaging his scalp. He sets his notebook down on his stomach and gazes up at you. You look at him and smile, your eyes going back to your book. His hand reaches up to play with your hair, and he grins. “What are you reading?”

“The collected poems of Sylvia Plath.” You tell him, not meeting his eyes.

He moans softly. “’I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again. I think I made you up inside my head.’”

“Didn’t know you could read.” You say with a smirk and he laughs.

“She’s the only woman that has allowed me inside her head, unlike someone I know.” He sits up, seating himself between your legs as you feel his eyes burn into the side of your face. You look at him, placing the bookmark to save your place. He’s smirking that smirk, and you lean back against the tree.

“You’ve known me your whole life, you still haven’t figured me out?” He smiles and shakes his head. You reach your hand out to grip his chin. “Am I really that hard to read?”

“Yes.” He says with a laugh. “You’re a mystery to me. I want to know what goes on inside that pretty little noggin of yours.” He leans forward, kissing your lips softly. You smile against his lips.

“Give me your notebook. I’ll give you a little taste.”

“Ooooh.” He says, groaning softly, brushing his lips against yours. “Don’t tempt me to taste other things.”

A shudder goes through you, and you try to hide your blush. He giggles, rubbing your cheek softly, pushing his notebook into your chest. “Write me a song.”

“I’m not sure if my thoughts are heavy metal material.” You tell him, turning to a blank page and uncapping the pen. He kisses your neck gently; his fingers lightly graze against the soft skin on your arm. Your eyes flutter close at his touch and you press the tip of the pen on the paper. He still gently caresses your skin, his soft lips leaving kissing trails along your neck and jaw. He was lucky you were in a public park, because you were about to say fuck the writing and lift up your dress just to feel him inside you. Well, that has never stopped you two before.

He rests his head against your shoulder, letting out a peaceful sigh as you write. You’re not sure where it had come from, it felt dark as you stare at the words. You feel Eddie’s palm gently rub over the fabric where your stomach was, gently kneading. Your stomach twitches as he tickles you and he laughs quietly. “Is that a new spot?” He bites his lip, kissing your neck again.

“Shhh, I’m almost done.” You tell him with a grin. His hand travels below your belly, gently cupping your mound and a small gasp escapes your lips. “Eddie…hands.”

“Sorry.” He mutters and kisses your cheek. He watches you as you write more on the page. You hand him back the pen and the notebook. “Read it to me.”

Your eyes widen slightly. “No, I’m embarrassed.”

“Sweetheart, it’s me.” He tells you with a sweet smile.

You sigh. “Fine. But don’t laugh at me.” He rests his head against your shoulder as you begin. “They say these ‘violent delights, have violent ends’ but is it so violent, that when the world ends in fire and ice, I’d rather freeze my soul, to be reborn, in a world not so cruel. Soulless eyes stare back into me, terrified of what they’ve seen. A little girl lost, but you found her in the pits of despair and agony. Kissed her tears, tasted her until she felt you in her very core and called you hers. A daughter of the night, the sun burns too bright, the sun burns too bright.”

Eddie lifts his head from your shoulder and stares at you in awe. “Wow…that was…”

“Horrible.”

“No! No, sweetheart.” He cups your face. “I didn’t know you could write like that. Why have you been holding out on me?”

You shrug. “I don’t know, I didn’t think I was that great.”

“This definitely heavy metal song material.” He takes the notebook from your hands, pressing his lips deeply against yours, holding the side of your face, his tongue licking your lips begging for entrance. You curl your fingers through his hair, feeling the butterflies in your stomach flutter all around as he kisses you. He pulls away, leaving small pecks on your lips. You were breathless, being kissed by him was always so breathtaking to you but he caught you off guard with this one.

“What was that?” You giggle, staring into his big brown eyes.

“I just…love you.” He rubs your cheek. “I feel like I don’t tell you that enough.”

He didn’t. And he didn’t love you, he was just lying about it, because why would it be that simple with him? That’s why this decision would make it hard for you. What would you gain from it? A mended friendship? That’s better than nothing, you thought. You didn’t want him to die; your stomach turns at the thought. What an idiot. You shake your head, what the hell was he thinking using heroin? What brought him to that point in his life to make that choice? You sigh, feeling defeated. What would you even say to him in the letter? Would you tell him that you’ve been thinking about him this whole time? No, that sounds pathetic.

You groan. You pick up the pen, and you just write.

Present Day - Eddie

I don’t think I’ve left my bedroom at all today. Maybe once to get something to eat. I was in my cabin in New York, Gareth has been staying with me. I know most of it is to keep an eye on me, but I know he doesn’t want to be alone either. It had snowed last night, there was over a foot on my property; Gareth had offered to take my truck to plow, I didn’t say no, I would’ve done it, but it probably would’ve stayed like that until Ted’s services. He wanted a combined wake and funeral; he was going to be buried where his parents were. We had to be in Vermont the day after tomorrow. I was laying on my side, staring at the wall, and I hear my bedroom door open. I feel the bed shift as Gareth lays next to me. It wasn’t unusual, us to be laying in the same bed. For months we only had my van to drive and sleep in to play music gigs across different states, and the three of us would have to get comfortable being close. “You need to get up, man.” He tells me softly.

“I will.” I mutter.

“When?” I can feel his eyes digging into the back of my skull, I squeeze my eyes shut and then snap them open. Everytime I close my eyes I see Ted’s lifeless face, I hear my cries, feel the unbearable weight of the grief.

“When I go to the bathroom again.” I feel myself smirking and I hear him chuckle a little.

“You’re scaring me.” He says after a moment of silence.

“I shouldn’t be.” I say quietly. “I don’t have a needle in my arm.”

“Not yet.”

“I love your words of support; it’s always so appreciated.” I say with an eye roll and turn on my back to face him. “I’m not gonna use again.”

He looks at me, and I see the shy, awkward little kid that I met all those years ago, the kid I took punches for, who I would still take punches for. “How do you know that?” He does look scared, exhausted, sad…really fucking sad.

I feel my throat close up as tears spring to my eyes. “Because if I do…all the work that I did…all the love and support he gave me even when I was at my worst…that all dies with him. And I can’t do that to him. Not again.”

His eyes are watery, and he looks away from me, staring up at the ceiling. “I can’t lose you too, Eddie. I really, really don’t think I’d make it.”

I grab his hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m not going anywhere, man.”

“What are we gonna do?” He whispers, and I see a tear fall down his cheek and onto my pillow. “He was the heart of our band…what are we supposed to do? Get a new manager?”

“No.” I say, surprised at how stern I sound. “We don’t need a manager. He taught us everything we needed to know.”

“It’s not gonna be easy.” He says with a soft laugh.

“Did he ever have it easy with us?”

“With us, yes. With you?” He meets my eyes and smiles.

I laugh. “He did his best, that’s all we wanted.”

“And he was good at it.”

“That’s why we can’t get a new manager. It won’t be worth it.” I let out a loud sigh, your face flashes through my mind for a moment and I shudder, trying to not think of you. Gareth can sense my internal demise.

“You should call her.”

“No.” I say immediately.

He sits up to lean against the headboard, looking down at me. “I don’t know why you’re so upset with her. She loves you.”

“She only contacted me because Ted asked her to. That’s not love, that’s pity.” I scoff, running my hands through my hair. I smell ripe, I definitely need to shower.

“I mean…you walked out on her, Eddie. The fact that she was even willing to give you a chance again after all these years, it shows that she’s loved you this entire time. She started doing chest compressions on Ted the second I said to call 911, she didn’t even hesitate. She just did it. She is the same kind, caring, stupidly beautiful girl that she’s always been. She may have gotten older, but it didn’t hurt her insides. And she loves you, dude. I see her look at you the same way she did fifteen years ago, she’d still go to bat for you. Why does that scare you so much? To let love in like that?”

“Because why would she love me? All I’ve done is cause her pain.” My voice sounds far away; I hate feeling vulnerable.

“And have been causing yourself pain in the process. Eddie, you’ve been in love with her forever. Like since before you even started dating. You’ve been through everything together. There’s a reason why Ted reached out to her; there’s a reason why after all these years you get that chance to be with her again. Don’t let this be the thing that takes her away forever.”

I glance up at him, scowling. “I hate that you have a way with words. I just wanted to kiss you just now.”

He laughs, patting my head. “Don’t let her go. You’d be stupid to do that again.” He hops off the bed and turns to look at me from the doorway. “You fucking stink, go take a shower.”

I put up my middle finger and we both laugh; I watch as he walks away and closes my door. I sigh, groaning at the stupid regret I feel in the pits of my stomach. He was right, I’ve been in love with you for so long sometimes it was hard to breathe. I force myself out of bed; it’s like thinking of you was the push I needed. I remember the day I told you I loved you for the first time, I was having the worst anxiety; I remember Uncle Wayne telling me that the worst thing that could happen is that you wouldn’t feel the same way, and that just made me feel worse. It was just a normal night for us, we were smoking pot in the back of my van. It was cold this night, you had a fleece blanket wrapped around your knees, you were singing bohemian rhapsody in all the voices, and I couldn’t handle how funny you were being, I was almost going into a straight panic attack.

“Please, stop. I can’t…I can’t breathe!” I laugh loudly.

“For meeeeee, for meeeeeeeee!” You start head banging and ended up whacking your head off of Gareth’s high hat, which causes me to laugh even harder. “Ow! Fuck.” You laugh holding your head and I gently lift your hair to check to make sure there wasn’t a severe injury.

“That’s what you get.” I laugh, gently smoothing out your hair. You giggle, moving Gareth’s high hat out of the way to make more room. You were wearing a black zip up hoodie, and only a bra underneath. I only knew that because when you leaned over I could only see the hills of your breasts. And I know that’s why you were so cold. Oh, how I wanted to unzip that hoodie even lower, just to see you, see all of you. I hated my hormonal thoughts, it always gave me an erection whenever I thought of you that way. And I have always thought of you as something more, not just my best friend, but someone I could see spending the rest of my life with. I felt stupid thinking like that, we were only seventeen, we were babies.

“What?” You snap me out of my thought.

“Huh?” I say.

You laugh. “You’re just staring at me, are you having a moment? Are you too high?”

“Let’s not talk about whether I’m too high or not because you know it will send me into a spiral thinking my eyeballs aren’t closing.” I laugh nervously.

“They’re not closing.” You smirk at me.

I growl at you. “Don’t be an asshole.”

You laugh loudly, nudging me with your shoulder, moving yourself onto my lap. I could feel how cold you were, so I wrap my arms around the top of you, gently rubbing your shoulders. It wasn’t unusual for you to do this, we have always been each other's human security blankets, but I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I needed to tell you, just to get it out. Just to let you know that I’ve loved you since I understood what that word meant. That if you didn’t feel the same way, at least you’d know. I’m playing with your hair; my fingers gently go behind your neck and massage the skin. You softly moan a little, and I swallow hard.

“I have to tell you something.” I whisper to you. You turn your head in my lap to look at me, you have a small smile on your face. My hand gently goes to your chin, and I let out a shaky breath.

“Hey, are you okay?” You sit up to look at me.

“I…I um…” I laugh nervously, running my hands through my hair. I stare at your face, your lips. “I’m in love with you.” I give you a little shrug and a small smile.

You stare at me for a moment, and I can see the gears in your brain turning. “I know this is out of nowhere and I’m sorry…even if you don’t feel the same I just wanted you to-“

Your lips are on mine suddenly, your hands cup my face. My hands nervously go to your waist as the kiss deepens, I feel your tongue graze mine gently, and I shudder. You pull away, staring into my eyes, my lips. You hold my face and I stare at you in awe. “I love you too.” You whisper and I can feel my grin getting wider.

“Really?” I ask you and you nod.

“Since forever.” You say, leaning forward to kiss me again, I hold your face when we pull away. “You’re my person.”

I smile again, pressing my lips to yours. You push your body onto mine, straddling my waist with your legs. I wrap both my arms around your waist, moving slightly to lay you on your back. The rug to my van was an old shag carpet, but it was comfortable. You didn’t feel cold anymore. Your hands move under my shirt, I shudder at your touch, your soft hands. I move my lips to your neck, pulling the zipper down, kissing both hills of your breasts. You let out a soft sigh, your fingers curling through my hair as I cup one of your breasts, kissing in between them. I grip your jean clad thigh, hooking it tighter around my waist and grind against you. The friction plus the pressure causes a throaty moan to escape me and you sit up. You stare at me, your lips swollen from our kiss, and you unzip the hoodie, sliding it off of you and I watch as your hands to behind your back, unhooking your bra. The straps fall slightly down your shoulders and I watch as you shyly let the bra slip away from you. I lean back on my heels, my palms on your knee as my eyes scan your body. I’ve always imagined this; but this was better than what I had imagined. I lean forward between your legs, kissing you deeply. My lips go down to your neck, and I glance up at you, making sure everything was still okay before I did what I did. You lean back to get more comfortable, and I pull your nipple into my mouth. You let out a moan, which caused me to almost explode in my own jeans. The closest I’ve ever gone with a girl was feeling her up, this was brand new to me, and I could tell it was for you too. I wanted to taste all of you, I wanted to know what your sex tasted like, I wanted to know what would make you scream. I move my lips down to kiss your ribs, your naval and I snap the button of your jeans. You arch your hips, helping me pull them down and this is the first time I’m seeing you in your underwear. My fingers knead your thighs and I look into your eyes.

“Can I taste you?”

Your face turns crimson, it made you look so much more beautiful, and you nod, biting your lip. “I’ve never done this before.”

“You know I haven’t.” I laugh, and I stare at you as I move my palm to the top of your underwear. The fabric was damp, and I feel a smile toy at my lips, gently moving your underwear to the side. My hands shake a little as the tips of my fingers graze your clit, I watch as your head falls back, and a soft moan escapes you. I rub you gently, feeling your opening. I gently slide a finger into you and your back arches, I couldn’t believe how tight you felt. I scoot back to my stomach, wrapping my arms around your thighs, staring at your beautiful, beautiful pussy. You lean up on your elbows to look at me; and I flick my tongue out, gently kissing your clit. You gasp and something awakens inside me. You taste so good, so sweet, and I bury my face into your folds, devouring you. I didn’t even know if I was doing it right, but from the sounds you were making; I think I was doing okay. Your fingers pull my hair and I feel my dick twitch as you moan loudly. “Right there, baby.” You moan out, and I moan in response; you sounded so sexy, so breathless.

I pull away to look up at you. “Like this?” I lick a long wet stripe from your hole to your clit, sucking gently. You tremble beneath me, your chest heaving with gasps and moans.

“Oh…my…Eddie.” You moan. I groan in response, tasting all of you, sucking you until your moans get louder and I’m pretty positive you’re about to come. Your head falls back in pleasure, and a loud, hot, moan escapes your lungs and you’re coming in my mouth. I stick my tongue around your hole, feeling you clench, tasting your juices and gripping your thighs until you can’t take it anymore. It’s so intoxicating I don’t want to stop. Your eyes are closed as you settle your breathing, I sit back on my heels, wiping my face and smile at you. You sit up, grabbing the back of my head and kiss me. You moan against my mouth, and a groan escapes me when I feel your hand cup my erection over my jeans. You pull away from me, quickly undoing the button on my jeans and pulling them down past my legs. I see your eyes widen when I spring to life, and you smile.

You look up at me, your hands gently rub my thighs, my ass and I shudder under your touch. I move to my back, highly aware of how exposed I felt with your eyes scanning my body. I immediately feel shy, and I honestly couldn’t tell you why. You sense how nervous I am, and you crawl up my body. Your hand tickles my chest and you kiss me gently. I hold your waist, gripping your skin and you pull back to look at me. I swallow hard as you lean down to kiss my neck, making soft pecks along my chest, moving down to my abdomen. A moan escapes me when I feel your hands gently grab my cock, rubbing your soft hands over the velvety ness of it. I gasp when I feel your lips kiss the tip; I could tell you were nervous too, but I swear as soon as you took my whole length into your mouth, you knew exactly what to do. A broken moan escapes me, and you quickly pull your head back.

“I’m sorry…did I…”

“No, no.” I say breathlessly, grabbing your wrist. “That was really good, keep going.”

Your mouth is on me again, and I groan, feeling your tongue swirl around my shaft, move down towards my balls. I moan loudly, my head falls back against the bottom of the high hat, which causes a humorous sound and I end up laughing while moaning. You throat me deeper and I hold your hair. I want to know what you feel like inside, I want to feel that beautiful pussy clench around my cock. I pull your head up to look at you.

“I wanna feel you.” I whisper.

You sit back, smiling that beautiful smile. You nod, biting your lower lip. I scoot up, taking your face in my hands and kiss you deeply. I turn you around so you’re on your back, gently grazing my fingertips over your skin. I bite my bottom lip, staring at your naked body. You were so beautiful. I feel a blush rise to my cheeks as I stare at you, and you smile sweetly.

“You nervous?” You ask me and I nod.

“A little.”

“Me too.” You say, reaching up to cup my face as I hover above you. I smile into your palm and a thought crosses my mind.

“Oh.” I lean back, go into my wallet, pulling out a condom. I tear it open with my teeth, staring at the rubber like it was a bomb.

“I think it goes…” you sit up a little, taking the condom and sliding it down my shaft. I shudder but I’m equally embarrassed.

“Pretty pathetic that I don’t know how to put a condom on.” I laugh awkwardly, leaning down to hover over you again.

“You’re not pathetic. If you’re pathetic; I’m pathetic. I’ve never had an orgasm until you.”

My eyes widen at your confession. “No way. Even when you play with yourself?”

You shake your head. “I guess I didn’t do it right.” You laugh and smile at me. “Looks like we have to teach each other things.”

I smirk, gently leaning down to kiss your lips. I rub your cheek, caresses your hair. “If it hurts, you tell me, okay? And I’ll stop.”

You nod, I could feel you shaking. I was shaking too, but I wasn’t sure if it was nerves, excitement or both. You open your legs a little wider for me, and I kiss you gently, my hand palming your entrance and I pull my hand away to line myself up with you. I slowly push myself in, and a grunt escapes me, you let out a soft gasp and I feel you clench.

“Am I hurting you?” I ask, panic in my voice as I stop pushing in.

“No, it just stings a little. Keep going.” You whisper, gripping my forearms. I push myself in further and I hear you coo; I look at your face and you’re biting your lip. You were so fucking tight, so tight that it was starting to hurt me, and I didn’t know what to do next. I feel you roll your hips into mine and I gently pull myself out a little and move back in. You moan, and a throaty growl escapes me as I quicken the movements in my hips. You felt so good, and I wanted to go faster but I didn’t want to hurt you.

“Faster, baby.” You moan, like you read my mind. I stare into your eyes, and you kiss me deeply, letting me know that it was okay. I move my hips faster, the sensation of the friction, plus the sounds that were coming from you were turning me into a wild fucking animal. “Ohhh…”

I could feel my orgasm building in my belly, and once I feel your hands grab my ass to push me deeper into you, it was all over. We were both moaning so loud, and I honestly didn’t remember which way up. You gasp loudly, and I feel you clench around me. “Oh baby…I think I’m gonna come again…”

“Fuck…I’m close…” my head falls back in pleasure, and I slow my rhythm down, my hips bucking as I come into the condom, and you’re fucking screaming my name, clenching all around me. Your nails claw at my back and I’m groaning into your neck as I ride out the rest of my orgasm, and you gasp out beautiful, beautiful sounds that was music to my ears.

I swallow back the lump in my throat as I lay my head in the crook of your neck. Your hands are in my hair, holding me to you. I look at you and you smile at me, kissing me so softly, sweetly. And at that moment, all was right in the world.

Gareth had driven my car to Vermont, I couldn’t stomach the drive. I think I puked three times before getting in the car because I’m still having a hard time processing what we were doing and why we were going to Vermont. I think I chain smoked a whole pack of cigarettes the way there. I was texting with my sponsor the whole way there too, he was a good guy, making me feel better about myself on how it was normal to be feeling the way I did. I didn’t want to use, but I didn’t want to feel anything. He also suggested I reach out to you after the services, and I shut that down. I didn’t want to think about you, I just wanted to focus on the fucked-up fact I was about to bury the one man I considered a father. We pull up to the funeral home, it looked like a beautiful cottage. A large window overlooked a frozen lake. I get out of the car on shaky legs; I could feel Gareth’s eyes on me.

I turn to look at him. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t look it.” He mumbles.

“Neither do you.” I slam the car door and we both walk up the stone steps into the funeral home. We enter the place, and I’m immediately overwhelmed by the aroma of floral arrangements I want to gag. We sign the guest book, and I have to pause in the double doorway when I see the shiney black opened casket. I don’t even see the people in the seats, or the people who have been in the music industry longer than I have. I just zero in on the box and Julie standing right next to it. She meets my eyes, and she’s already pushing her way through people to get to me. I’m falling into her, my forehead is resting against her small shoulder, I’m breathing in the smell of her shampoo and her Chanel perfume. She’s hugging me close, and I begin to weep.

“Oh, my sweet boy…” She says gently in my ear.

“It doesn’t seem real, it’s not right…” I pull away to look at her, to glance at the casket. “It’s not okay.” The tears are hot on my cheeks, and I feel Gareth stiffen next to me as he tries to control his own tears. She kisses my cheek, taking my hand, leading me up to the casket. I stop when I see Nellie, she meets my eyes, and she’s immediately sobbing. I hug her to me, cupping the back of her head as she buries her face into my chest. She was a few years younger than me, and she always felt like a sister, and I immediately feel riddled with guilt that I spent so many years chasing a high when she would send me birthday cards from her kids, or birthday party invitations. Even when I wasn’t on tour, I would make up some excuse. I couldn’t do that anymore. No more excuses.

“I’m so sorry.” I whisper to her, and there’s so many reasons behind that. Her fingers grip into my back and she nods against my chest.

“Don’t disappear on me again, okay?” She pulls away to look at me. “The kids need their Uncle Eddie.”

I swallow a sob, and nod, gently kissing the top of her head. I look over at the casket, and I slowly make my way over. He was dressed in his best blazer that he had custom made, a vintage Van Halen t shirt covers his chest underneath. His shaggy dirty blonde hair was styled neatly. I couldn’t look at his face. I just stared at his chest; my vision was blurring. I felt the similar ache in my belly when I thought of you, except you were still alive. Ted was dead. I finally look at his face, and a sound escapes my lungs. I sound like a whimpering dog; I couldn’t control it, I just started to weep. I rest my head against the kneeling bench, feeling Julie’s arms wrap around me. I felt pathetic, crying like this, in front of all these people. Ted was the reason we got to where we were…Ted was also the reason that got me back to you.

And I didn’t know how to keep going without him.

I disassociated during the burial, I don’t remember who I spoke to, who I hugged. All I remember is coming back to my cabin with Gareth, neither one of us saying a word to each other. I had peeled off my suit jacket, kicked off my shoes and plopped on the chair in my kitchen. I lit up a cigarette, letting the smoke billow in my lungs. I stare up at my liquor cabinet, knowing that I had a half empty bottle of bourbon hidden in there. The chair skids against the floor as I get up, go into the cabinet, and pull the bottle down. I pull the cap off the bottle, staring at the brown liquid. My heart was racing, I could feel my ears pulsating as my thoughts were swimming in my brain.

You know where this can lead to. Ted’s voice echoes in my head.

“Fuck off.” I whisper through my teeth.

You’ve come so far.

“FUCK OFF!” I scream, pitching the bottle against the wall next to my refrigerator and it shatters, the liquid spilling to the floor. I yell again, punching the wood of my cabinets until my knuckles bled. I slide to the floor; Gareth comes running in from the back bedroom.

“Jesus, Eddie…” He says quietly, his eyes scanning the broken glass, my bloody hand, and the tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Did you know…the last time Ted was here, I was detoxing? Right on that couch.” I let out a chuckle, pointing out into the living room. “Unwillingly of course, or maybe willingly, I don’t fucking know. I was heading into the depths of madness at that point, but he had shown up. I was convinced you had sent these little demon creatures to come kill me or hurt him and somehow, he convinced me to get rid of my dope.” I laugh again, almost manically. “The last time that man was in my house, I was a complete fucking monster. I hated him, I hated him for making me go through the pain. I hated him because he cared about me so fucking much, he’d rather sit there and watch me cry and scream in pain. Why, man?” I look up at Gareth, my lips trembling. “Why did he care about me so much? After everything I had done. After who I became?”

“Eddie…” I could tell he’s lost for words. He slides down to the floor next to me, and I just stare at him. He pulls me by my shirt, pulling me into him. He cradles me like a baby, and I just sob into his chest. “You know why, dude. He loved you.”

I scoff, wiping the snot from my nose. “I was unlovable. And I fucking manipulated him so many times. I’m surprised he didn’t have a heart attack back then.”

“Eddie.” Gareth says sternly. “If you are blaming yourself for his death, you’re a bigger fucking idiot than I thought. Things like this just happen sometimes, man. Whether it’s natural, or unnatural. When I was so fucking at you when it got really bad, when I thought I was staring into the eyes of a person who murdered my brother…Ted would always tell me that he knew you were still in there. That you would come out of this, and look…you came out of it.”

“It’s not that simple, man.” I say through my teeth, my throat bobbing as I’m trying to stop from sobbing again. “Everyday I have to fight…I have to hold back the urge to go and use…and now…now I have all this love…all this love that has no place to go…he was a fucking dad to us, Gareth. And now he’s gone…he’s just…gone.”

Gareth doesn’t say anything more, he just holds me tighter as I cry.

Rabbit hole

Where did you go?

Rabbit hole

Where did…

I haven’t showered in three days; Gareth left yesterday.

I pace in my kitchen, already on my fourth cup of coffee, and it’s not even noon.

My phone rings, I send it to voicemail, sending a reassuring text that I’m okay.

I’m really not, but I don’t have a needle in my arm.

So, there’s that.

It’s been a week; I finally showered. I dreamt of you last night.

I grip the pen in my hand, flapping the composition notebook as I continue to pace in the living room.

My therapist is here.

I don’t say much.

She looks afraid for me.

Maybe, she should be.

She suggested anti-depressants.

I said no, I numbed my feelings for too long, I had to pay the price and feel things without the help of a medicine.

Dying seems better than this existence.

Maybe I already died, and I’m just living in this vessel of a body that is rotten.

Fuck, Eddie. That’s dark.

I laugh to myself, continuing to pace. Looks like I don’t need the drugs to be an actual fucking madman.

Mad hatter, too much tea

Mad hatter, look at me, look at me,

I’m a fucking disease.

Every time I close my eyes, I see you. I see your smile, I hear your laugh, I feel your touch.

What the fuck am I doing?

Why am I standing here alone?

I miss you.

I miss him.

No. No. No.

Gareth is right.

I can’t lose you.

Not again.

NOT AGAIN.

I take the keys to my truck, awkwardly pulling my boots on as I stumble out the door.

Looks like I’m going to Maine.

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