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"Bitch I Might Be."
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Do not chase people. Be you and do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.
Wu Tang Clan (via sparkadalia)
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Look at the majestic flag of the USA, the other flag with the stars on it is nice too.
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Hiii guys. I know I totally quit on this story. I suck. v__v But I'm working on something new.
SPARKS WILL FLY
She threw her pen across the room and went back to staring at the mess of thoughts on her paper, all the while Lianne La Havas’s soulful heart ache played softly in the background. “I can’t keep doing this.” She mumbled to herself as she shook her head. Glancing at her phone for the 10th time in the hour, she saw there were no new texts. Still. What could he be up to that had him too busy to respond to a simple text? It made her question the importance she held in his life. If Jacob had a list of priorities, Maria would probably be number 8.
A low growl escaped her lips, mirroring her feelings. She crumpled up the paper and walked into the kitchen tossing it on the counter as she pulled out a cig. A smoke. That’s exactly what she needed. She twirled the cigarette in between her fingers, dissecting it with her eyes as if it’d unravel with all the answers to her problems. Sighing heavily she grabbed her lighter bringing the fire to life before her eyes. The way it wavered in the mild breeze inside her apartment mesmerized her. Ever since Maria was a child fire intrigued her. She stared at it so long it blew out. Snapping back to reality she brought it back and lit the cig taking a heavy drag out of it. She leaned against the island counter and glanced around her apartment. It was situated in Ithica, the nice part of New York. The apartment was crème colored with teal and sky blue accents, as bright as her personality used to be. It was large and spacey with nice modern furniture, courtesy of her douchebag boyfriend. Who’s she kidding? He’s the best thing to happen to her. At this realization she picked up the balled up emotional projection and read it through again.
Things have seemingly changed. I feel a vague remembrance of how it used to be.. before. I long to be where I was, yet where I am seems to be better. The sun is brighter. The air tastes fresher. My vision isn’t so cloudy. He brought me clarity. I feel so unfamiliar, like a stranger in my own body. What have I become? Who has he made me? Yet, I am better. It’s scary to wake up and be everything you were hoping for. Would you go back? I know I won’t, but I miss it. I’m so confused. Lost. He’s my GPS, map, compass, and constellation. I hate it, but I love him. It’s a love hate thing. Something in his name stirs my deepest desires and brings them to the surface. God must have sent him. The way he makes me feel could only be from heaven. How could one variable change my life so dramatically?
Mangled creature before. Goddess I am now. The love I harbor is overwhelming. I never wanted to feel this way again. Turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m afraid our love isn’t the same. Who knows how long I can be managed anymore. Tonight? Tomorrow? Next month? He brought me light, but what if I prefer the dark?
She even lost her writing touch. Shaking her head she picked up the lighter and set the paper on fire watching the flames lick up the paper, inching closer to the fingers holding it. She tossed it into the sink right before the heat could burn her and make her day shittier. Why did she depend on him so much? Why was she so fucking in love with him?
Being cooped up in her apartment wasn’t going to answer any of the questions that kept badgering her mind. Maria quickly doused the burnt scraps of journal paper with water and slipped her feet into combat boots. The way the clouds were rolling in, she was sure it’d start pouring while she was out. The thought kind of comforted her so she left her umbrella on the table by the door and headed out. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and a hope sprang up in her heart as she pulled it out, only to be followed by sharp disappointment as she saw the name Aila. As of late, Maria had been dodging everyone in her life. She just wanted to be alone which was kind of impossible in fucking New York. Waving her hand gingerly, attempting to catch a cab as the first rain drop fell. Next thing she knew, it was the fucking Niagara Falls as a cab finally pulled to the curb for her. She slid in hastily, shivering a bit, as her hands instinctively wrapped around her chest. She could feel her ass sticking to the seat, the water binding the two. She groaned as asked the driver to take her to Manhattan. Some retail shopping might bring some joy into her dismal life.
Cars whizzed by reminding her once again that she wasn’t alone in the world as much as she wanted to be. Her phone buzzed loudly in the almost silent car. Jacob. Finally. Her heart burst into happiness as she quickly unlocked her phone, only to have it drop just as quickly.
“I can’t keep doing this. I’m sorry. I love you, but I’m tired of this.”
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Even though you guys hate me
I'm going to post another chapter sometime this week. Maybe two if I get some good ideas.
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Does my ask work?
No one ever leaves me any kind of feedback.. -__-
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Chapter 15
Kaimoni
“So it’s alphabetic. You just punch in the name and it’ll tell you where to go.” Camille said with a smile. Camille was a tall, voluptuous woman. Her hair was shoulder length and a natural curly. She was pretty and very friendly.
“Alright. Thanks.” I said returning a small smile as I began to work through the big ass stack of papers Avia left for me. Camille nodded once and went back to her desk. The filing system was pretty simple and I got the hang of it quickly. No one here seemed like they hated their job and Camille assured me that it gets better with time. Avia was a piece of work though. This was going to be hard, but I need to suck it the fuck up.
I had just finished the last file 2 and a half hours later and was in the break room when he came back to annoy me.
“Hello again.” He said casually flirting with me as he propped himself up on the counter with his elbow while looking at me. I shook my head slightly and rolled my eyes without looking at him. Do I look like that type of girl? Like honestly I don’t get it. What is it about me that makes niggas think that they have a chance?
Mr. Brown chuckled lightly and made himself another cup of coffee before walking out. I know it was my first day and I shouldn’t be rude, but he just gave me a bad vibe.
***
Olivia
I disentangled myself from Drew, sitting up and reached over to get my phone off his night table. He rolled over and hooked his arm around my waist pulling me back down. He sloppily kissed on my neck causing me to giggle. “Babee..” He mumbled against my skin, sending tingles up my body. I smiled happily and kissed him gently on his soft lips. Today was the day we finally tell Kaimoni about us.
I always had feelings for Drew and it was so perfect how we all became friends and I could talk to him all the time. He was a quiet scrawny kid, but I could see that underneath the loose ass polo he was cute. He was so sweet and brilliant.. and funny…. and adorable…
I felt him shift under me as he yawned. I took that as a chance to sit up, scroll through my contacts, and find Boo Scadoo.
Me: Boo! I miss you. Double date tonight?
Boo Scadoo: You have a boo now? (;
Me: Maybe.. maybe not. 8:00 Olive Garden. (:
Boo Scadoo: What? I need details. Now.
I laughed and smiled to myself enjoying this feeling too much. Drew got up and went into the bathroom as I laid back hitting her back.
Me: 8:00 tonight. Love you!<3
I set the phone down beside me and closed my eyes letting my arms drop over my face. I guess I started to drift off because next thing I know Drew’s heavy ass is on top of me, knocking the breath out of my body. I laughed and tried to push him off pretending to be mad. “Get off me! You’re killing me.” He smiled and looked down at me. He used one hand to prop himself up while the other stroked my face gently. “I love you.” My heart began to pound as a blush spread over my face. He’s told me he loves me a dozen times, but this time it felt different. It was different. It had a deeper meaning.
I smiled and giggled a bit to myself, ”I love you too. Now get your heavy ass off me.” He rolled his eyes playfully and rolled off me. I quickly pecked his cheek before getting out of bed. “Listen. Tonight we’re having dinner with Kaimoni and Ayron.” I made my way to the bathroom before looking back at him as I heard him sigh. “We put it off long enough.” I paused and smiled, ”Now get yo sexy ass up and go make me some lunch.” I bit on my lip winking at him before going into the bathroom to clean up.
**
Ayron
This was getting too complicated. I already fucked up once with Zhina and now I’m with Kaimoni. Fuck is wrong with me? I shook my head as I picked out the key to her apartment from my chain and walked in. It smelled like straight Febreze. I coughed a little and took off my shoes walking into her room. I guess she didn’t hear me because she didn’t flinch and continued to look through her massive collection of clothes.
“Ughhh!” She yelled exasperated, tossing her clothes on the floor. I reached out and touched her arm causing her to jump. Her face went from shock to surprise to delight. She flung her arms around my neck and hugged me knocking me off balance. I chuckled and kissed her hair as my arms tightened around her waist.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” She mumbled against me. I chuckled again and sat on her bed, pulling her down on top of me. She snuggled up against me smelling my skin. I always found it weird, but she had an obsession with skin and didn’t give a fuck about how I felt. The way she didn’t care what people thought of her made me love her more.
“I think you should wear that blue one over there.” I said pointing to one of the dresses she had discarded on the floor.
“Mmm… but I don’t like the way my boobs look in it.” I gave her a look and shook my head.
“Just wear it babe. You look good in everything.” That was the complete truth. The first time I saw her at Pulse, class.. anytime.. she always looks good. “Girl you be killin’ ‘em.” I said imitating fabulous. She laughed and got off me picking up the dress.
“Alright…” She said as she pulled it on and pulled out the red bottoms I bought her. A smiled made it’s way to my face as I stood up and took her hand twirling her around slowly.
“Damn..” I said as I bit my bottom lip. “You ready? It’s almost 8.” She nodded and grabbed her bag and phone going into the bathroom.
“Make up time!” She called out. I shook my head and sat back down on her bed pulling out my phone.
****
Kaimoni
New God Flow had just stopped playing when we pulled into Olive Garden’s parking lot. I was so excited to see who Olivia was with. I know she had been talking to someone from all her smiles and happiness, but she keeps everything lowkey. Ayron came around and opened the door for me helping me out the car. I fixed the dress that stopped mid length. It cut out in the back like an x and came up high in the front causing my boobs to look weird. I pushed them up, catching Ayron shake his head before I slipped my fingers in between his. We walked into the restaurant and asked for reservation under the name Key. The hostess eyed Ayron hungrily to my amusement before leading us to the table. I was mid chuckle when I saw Olivia with Drew at the table. My mouth fell open as we stopped at the table,”Why didn’t you guys tell me?!” Ayron stood there awkwardly as they both made uncomfortable faces.
“Come on babe. Sit down.” He pulled out my chair and I took a seat, as he did the same, looking at them. There was an awkward silence as we all eyed each other.
“C’mon son….. I’m soooo happy!” I shouted, smiling as they followed my lead.
“Okay good. I really wanted to tell you, but we didn’t wanna mess the friendship up. “ I shook my head and laughed.
“Bitch. I’ve been waiting for this to happen.” She was all smiles while Drew sat there trying to hide his feelings. “And you nigg.. I know you’re happy.” He shook his head and chuckled a bit as Olivia spoke up.
“Oh my! Hey Ayron. That was rude of me.” She got up and walked around the table to kiss his cheek. Leave it to Olive to odee. He laughed and nodded.
“It’s cool, Olivia.” Just then the waitress came and asked us what we’d be drinking that evening.
**
I stumbled into my apartment as Ayron tried to steady me. I got a little carried away drinking tonight. It was such a good vibe I couldn’t help myself. I wrapped my arms around his neck , pushing up against him. “Babeee.” I whined out, smiling.
“Mmhm?”
“Make love to mee,” I sang out as my ankle decided to roll causing me to stagger. He laughed and steadied me by wrapping his arms around my waist tightly.
“I didn’t know you could sing babe.” I made a face and bit on my lip. Shit. No one was supposed to know that.
“Yeahh… doesn’t matter. I want you to make love to me.” I said pouting. He chuckled and picked me up quickly, hooking my legs around his waist. I giggled and kissed him hard slipping my tongue into his mouth. They fought with each other as he carried me to the bedroom all the while caressing my body, touching places only he was familiar with.
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